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AMERICAN

HOT SAUCE

RELOADED FROM THE MIND OF FULTONBEFREE [formerly

known as Durand Fulton]

A DUDE FROM

THE ILLUMINATI WANTS

BLOOD,

THE PRESIDENT HAS A SECRET

“AGENDA,”

AND A “KICK-*SS”

AGENT IS TRYING

TO KILL THE F*CKING

BAD GUYS.

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STARING:

AGENT SUSAN JOHNSON

BUNDY KINGSTON

PRESIDENT KIRTPATRICK

AND FEATURING…

PAPPI DADDY

RICHARD BEY

& LUCKY GENIUS

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PREVIEW

CLIP #1

…Upon entering the box, as Chief Custodian

Barns once called it, the smell of stench was

so remorseless that a tear dripped down Agent

Johnson’s good eye. Every second that went by

felt like 10 minutes swimming in a bowl of hot

sh*t. The box was a large, dirty, and hard to

navigate office that featured a large alcove.

Johnson, at this point, knew that the smell had

to be coming from something on the inside of

the alcove space.

“THIS IS YA LAST MUTHAF*CKIN’ CHANCE

B*TCHES. Come out with your hands up, now! I am

armed.”

Nothing. The only thing that seemed to move

was Johnson’s heartbeat, quickly and

intensely. With two hands now, she gripped the

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******. F*ck it! Three… Two... One... She

turned into the alcove…

The pistol fell to the floor. He *ss was a

close second. The shock in her eyes said it

all.

NEXT PAGE

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PREVIEW

CLIP #2

“Whatcanaya do for me, Mista Lucky

Genius? I’ma askin’ for allaya help. Pleeze

tellame whatya condo fer me.”

Mister Lucky Genius took out what appeared

to be fat bl*nt. He lit the bl*nt and then

proceeded to smoke it. Not once did he even

appear to offer any of the bl*nt to Bundy

Kingston.

“Bundy. I want to give you an offer you

can’t refuse. It is true. I am the Lucky

Genius. At any time, I could just snap my

fingers… just like that. And all of your

problems would go away. The only problem,

however, is that if I can’t use you for

something, then why should I do you any favors,

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Bundy? You get what I’m saying, right? That

just makes sense.”

“I’ll do anything ya ask of me, Mista

Lucky Genius.”

“Well I’m glad to hear it, boy. I’m glad

to hear it very well.

“I have some *ssociates that I used to do

business with on the other side of the harbor.

They are pieces of sh*t, Bundy. They don’t

believe in doing business with people. In their

minds, they think that stealing from other

people is business. I need you to show them

that stealing from people is de*th by fat*l

executi*n, Bundy. And I need you to show them

as slowly and as painfully as their life can

possibly stand, Bundy. Do you get what I’m

sayin?”

NEXT PAGE

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PREVIEW

CLIP #3

“Now looke here. I have the utmost respect for

you Mr. President. You just need to understand

that those orders are not going to make any

sense to my men if I have to evacuate this

facility.”

“Johnson. Shut the f*ck up, Now! I am

President Kirtpatrick. Listen to me explain my

self-important professional bullsh*t: Before

being President, I served 15 years as a Navy

Seal. Ten years after that, I served under a

cl*ssified code kissing the bosses *ss and

backstabbing my colleagues so I could get

another self-important promotion. You don’t

know sh*t about what you are talking about

Johnson. As President of the United States of

Americorp, I order you to evacuate the building

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now! Evacuate the building now or everyone in

our Pentagon family is going to die! Ka-boom!

Right in the f*ckin’ face! Do you get it???”

“Mr. President, I don’t know what the

h*ll you are talking about. So help me god if

you are wrong. So help me god.”

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PREVIEW

CLIP #4

…Usually on Thursday nights, the ball field

was what you’d call a “spicy hangout joint”

for the old-timers who wanted to remember their

old days of kick-*ss glory in the senior

league. Mmm. There was a change of plans

tonight, though. All senior games have been

cancelled for the evening. I guess you can say

bye-bye to that sh*t. Haha. The reason? It’s

just business, man. Dirty, sc*m rotten,

muthaf*ckin’ business.

As for those helicopters... well, there

was… I think… approximately 12 soldiers

*ssigned to this here operation. It was ah…

what’s the word? Cl*ssified, muthaf*cka! Haha.

That order, apparently, came down from the

highest lewd-tenant of command. Now, if any one

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of those X-caliber super bad-*ss soldiers gets

popped in their f*ckin’ face cavity and then

goe bye-bye to cop a squat for the night, their

true death would be “strategically” erased

from all computer records at intel special

forces.

Instead of carrying their standard issue

United States Firearms for the night, the

soldiers were instructed to carry a f*ckin’

highly unstable, yet specially designed

tranquilizer automatic gatling turbo blaster

shotty wit’ da muthaf*ckin’ rubber grip. I

say, “Ohh my lawd!!! Godd*mn what kinda

f*ckin’ gun is that muthaf*ckin’ sh*t!!!”

But anyways, their orders were crystal clear,

baby girl. Dude told them, “Don’t kill the

target under any circumstances.” How the h*ll

could they mess that thang up? Sh*t would have

seemed easy to a family of f*ckups.

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PREVIEW

CLIP #5

“Jesus. It can’t be…it can only mean one

thing then. Bundy Kingston. And …why did the

President contact you instead of me? I am your

superior.”

“Well, sir. You used to be my superior. I

am the superior now. That is what the President

said.”

“Son-of-a-b*tch. He is using you. This

whole thing is a set-up from the highest level.

Something very bad is going to happen.

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PREVIEW

CLIP #6

Just so you are informed, President

Kirtpatrick was only the president known to the

general public and military. To those with much

higher access, though, it was obviously known

that President Kirtpatrick was a brainwashed

puppet. As far as the “elite order” was

concerned, President Kirtpatrick was

technically brain dead.

Area ** is the name of the specific

location where the presidential selects are

programmed, frozen, and stored until they are

green lighted for a presidency *ssignment. I

wish I could tell you that the facilities were

run by the most elite scientists in the world

but that bull-dookie is hogwash. We’ve been

bamboozled! Hoodwinked! There ain’t a

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scientist in this world, nor a Warcraft expert,

who has the occult knowledge and power to

conduct a presidential conspiracy like that.

Truth be told, the…

NEXT

PAGE

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PREVIEW

CLIP #7

She saw the gunslingers footsteps heading

towards her through the thick and dark fog. Her

screams began to grow larger and larger. If

***** was alive, ******* would be crying at the

sight of ******** and ***** pitiful *ss.

The gunslinger’s feet were inches away

from ******* mouth.

“Be-otch I said, ‘Get UP!!”

******8* was lifted up. The gunslinger must

weight a ton. They now stood eye to eye. The

entire room was silent. ******* opened her eyes

slowly and as she searched for clarity beyond

the snot and vomit on her face, she saw the

gunslinger’s face. She was horrified.

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“I..knnn know whhhh who yyy you are, now.

You are ********************************, my

step sister.”

“B*TCH I SAY THAT YOU ARE GOING TO DIE

RIGHT NOW!!” DIE B*TCH DIE!!!!!”

“No!!!! NOOO!!!! Stop that. It hurts!!!!”

“DIE B*TCH DIE!!!”

“STOP IT HURTS!! STOP IT HURTS!!”

“BIITTTCCC..”

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