Positive Solutions for Families

By Angela Searcy, M.S.

www.overtherainbowsimplesolutions.com

asearcya@aol.com708-845-2343

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Angela Searcy asearcya@aol.com 708-845-2343• Angela Searcy M.S., D.T.holds a B.A. degree in English and secondary education with

teacher certification though the state of Illinois and a M.S. degree in early childhooddevelopment fromErikson Institute, with a specialization in Infant Studies and a credentialin developmental therapy. Angela is aDiversifying in Higher Education in Illinois FellowatArgosy University in the Doctor of Education Program

• Angela is the owner and founder ofSimple Solutions Educational Services, has over 20years of experience in the field of education, is an approved professional developmentprovider by theIllinois State Board of Education, and Texas ECI. She acted as anprofessional development provider forCenter on the Social and Emotional Foundationsfor Early Learning (CSEFEL) at Vanderbilt University, the Multisensory Training

Simple Solutions Educational Services © 2006

for Early Learning (CSEFEL) at Vanderbilt University, the Multisensory TrainingInstitute (MTI) in Needham, MAand the Angela currently is a professional developmentprovider for Teaching Strategies, LLC, Lakeshore Learning, Carson CA andEriksonInstitute for Child Development.

• Angela is also a professor atRasmussen College, a Head Start CLASS Reviewer, a PDIcoach with the Ounce of Prevention and the host of Angela Searcy’s SimpleSolutionsInternet Show 11am CST on www.globalnewsforum.com

• A former associate at theNeuropsychology Diagnostic Centerin Orland Park, Illinois,Angela has specialized training in neuroscience and is a nationally recognized speaker.Shehas been featured on Chicago Public Radio’s Chicago Matters , Chicago Parentand Chicago Baby Magazines and is a regular speaker for the Learning and theBrain Conference Sponsored by Harvard, Yale and Stanford Universities.

Angela Searcy’s Simple Solutions Show!

EVERY Sat at 11am CST @

Simple Solutions Educational Services © 2006

EVERY Sat at 11am CST @ www.globalnewsforum.com

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on Facebook

Simple Solutions Educational Services © 2006

What is CSEFEL?The Center on the Social and Emotional

Foundations for Early Learning

www.vanderbilt.edu/csefel

A Federally Funded Center Focused on Improving the Social Emotional

Partners:• Vanderbilt University• University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign• University of Colorado at Denver• University of South Florida• ZERO to THREE• Georgetown Center for Child and Human Development

A Federally Funded Center Focused on Improving the Social Emotional Outcomes of Children Birth to Age Five.

How Does the Parent Change?

What are Positive Behavior Supports?

• A child’s social and emotional development is closely tied to the parents’ behavior! parents’ behavior!

• Social and emotional development HELPS academic skills!

• Positive alternatives to spanking and “no!”

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Hmmm…

• Can you Discipline a child you don’t have a positive relationship with?

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“Every child needs one person who is crazy about him.”

Uri Bronfenbrenner

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Building Positive Relationships with Your Child

• LOVE is the fuel that helps their engine Run!

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How Might Children Communicate They are “Running on Empty!”

• Crying• Hitting• What else?

Catch Your Child Being Good!

• Give specific, positive attention to your child for the behavior that you want to see, and teach your child what to do!

“Wow! You are being so careful keeping all the pieces on the table!”

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Parent Behavior Is

• Do As I Say, Not As I Do” does not work• Short phrases are key—two sentences or

less—even things like “Stay on task” or less—even things like “Stay on task” or “Focus”

• Brain reacts to positive statements

• Lengthy arguments muddy the waters

Say the DO instead of the Don’t

• Stop yelling!• Don’t throw your

toys!

• Use your inside voice

• Your toys go here or you need a ball• Stop bothering your

sister!.• Cut it out.

you need a ball• Use kind words • Try to use kind

words and hands

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Ways to Give Children Encouragement(examples)

• “Thank you for __________.”• “What a good problem solver you are, you were

able to__________.”• “It’s so much fun to play with you; you are so

good at ________.” (sharing, taking turns)good at ________.” (sharing, taking turns)• “You were being so kind when you ________.”• “Thank you for using your inside voice when

your sister was sleeping.”

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Have parents fill the relationship TANK!

List 5 things that you will try to do in the next week to “fill/refill” your child’s relationship tank. child’s relationship tank. Things that will make your child feel really special! Things that will help build a positive relationship with your child.

• Children respond better to adults who take a personal interest in them.

• Develop positive relationships are critical for learning and development

• Make sure the ratio between positive and negative experiences for students is about 5 positives for every negative.

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Make Your “Expectations” Clear

• Tell your child what to do instead of what not to do.

• Clearly and simply state what you expect your child to do.child to do.

• Have age-appropriate expectations.• Use age-appropriate language. Young

children have difficulty with contractions (two words that are combined to form one, such as “don’t” and “can’t”).

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Common Mistakes: Time-Out

• Angrily threatening time-out– Gives child the attention he/she is wanting

• Allowing other children to tease the child who is in time-out – Gives the child attention

• Applying time-out long after the behavior has occurred– Time-out is only effective when immediately

applied.• Scolding your child when putting him/her in or out

of time-out– Time-out only works when it is time away from

adult attention. 19

Helpful Hint!

• Young children often do NOT understand contractions like “don’t”

• Young children tend to hear the last • Young children tend to hear the last word so in “don’t run” they hear….RUN!

• Telling them what not to do doesn’t teach them what TO DO!

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Tips for Encouraging Your ChildPowerful Parenting Practice!

• Tip 1 Get your child’s attention.• Tip 2 Use behavior specific language.• Tip 3 Keep it simple—avoid combining

encouragement with criticism.encouragement with criticism.• Tip 4 Encourage with enthusiasm.• Tip 5 Double the impact with physical

warmth.• Tip 6 Use positive comments and

encouragement with your child in front of others.

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Positive Parenting Tips

• Try to fill/refill your child’s relationship tank

• Try to use positive comments and

Things to Try at HomeMaking the Connection!

• Try to use positive comments and encouragement with your child

• Have fun together!

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Setting The Stage for Success!

• Try to anticipate problems• Stay near your child• Support your child• Support your child• Encourage your child

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Plan Ahead

• Try to anticipate what your child may do or may need in various situations. Plan ahead to set your child up for a successful experience. Hope for the successful experience. Hope for the best, but always have a backup plan! Plan ahead!

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Stay Calm

• When a child’s behavior is challenging, you can either respond to it or ignore it. If reaction is to it or ignore it. If reaction is necessary, remember that less is usually best.

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Controlling Anger and Impulse

How can we help our children…

• recognize anger in themselves and themselves and others?

• learn how to calm down?

• understand appropriate ways to express anger?

Turtle Technique

Recognize Recognize

that you that you

feel angry. feel angry.

“Think” “Think”

Stop.Stop.

Go into shell. Go into shell. Take 3 deep Take 3 deep breathes. breathes. And think And think calm, coping calm, coping thoughts. thoughts.

Come out Come out of shell of shell when calm when calm and think of and think of a solution.a solution.

Tucker Turtle Takes Time to Tuck and ThinkTuck and Think

A scripted story to assist with teaching the “Turtle Technique”

By Rochelle LentiniMarch 2005

Created using pictures from Microsoft Clipart® and Webster-Stratton, C. (1991). The teachers and children videotape series: Dina dinosaur school. Seattle, WA: The Incredible Years.

Tucker Turtle is a terrific turtle. He likes to play with his friends at Wet Lake School.

But sometimes things happen that can make Tucker really mad.

When Tucker got mad, he used to hit, kick, or yell at his friends. His friends would get mad or upset when he hit, kicked, or yelled at

them.

Tucker now knows a new way to “think like a turtle” when he gets mad.

He can stop and keep his hands, body, and yelling to himself!

He can tuck inside his shell and take 3 deep breaths to calm down.

Tucker’s friends are happy when he plays nicely and keeps his body to himself. Friends also like it when Tucker uses nice words or has

a teacher help him when he is upset.

The End!

Centers!

Turtle Box

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Teach Calming Techniques

• If you are happy and you know it…add new verses to teach feelings– If you’re sad and you know it, tuck and think– If you’re mad and you know it, use your words

Use of Songs and GamesSample Song

– If you’re mad and you know it, use your words “I’m mad”

– If you’re scared and you know it ask for help, “help me”

– If you’re happy and you know it, hug a friend– If you’re tired and you know it, give a yawn.

• Discuss typical situations that happen when children are together: “How would you feel if this happened to you?”– Example: Jeremy wanted to play ball with

Katie and Wu-ying today, but they wouldn’t let

Play: How Would You Feel If?

Katie and Wu-ying today, but they wouldn’t let him. How do you think that made him feel? How do you think you would feel if that happened to you? What could Jeremy try next time?

Sample Game

Make a _____ face.

Simple Solutions Adaptation

Using Pictures to Teach Rules• Get out your camera• Snap a photograph of what you want

your child “to do”• Post it, model it, practice it, and notice • Post it, model it, practice it, and notice

when it’s done and praise it!• If your rule is “clean up”…show him/her

Make Routines Simple!

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The Solution Kit

Problem-Solving Games

• What if your sister hit you? How would you feel? What could you do?

• What if you wrote on Mommy’s bedroom wall with a marker? How would you feel? How do you think Mommy would feel? What could you do?

• What if you knocked over your friend’s tower at • What if you knocked over your friend’s tower at school? How would you feel? How do you think your friend would feel? What could you do?

• What if you and your sister wanted to watch something different on the television? What could you do?

• What if someone at school was teasing you and calling you names. How would you feel? What could you do?

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Problem-Solving Games (cont.)

• What if it was bedtime and you wanted hear one more book? What could you do?

• What if Daddy sent you to time-out for hitting your brother? How would you feel? How do you think your brother would feel? How do you think Daddy would brother would feel? How do you think Daddy would feel? What could you do?

• What if you really wanted a toy at the toy store but Mommy said you could not have it? How would you feel? What could you do?

• What if you really wanted to play with your sister and her friends, but they said, “No”? How would you feel? What could you do?

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