ages and stages so what is normal? sara hitchens, counsellor/psychotherapist
TRANSCRIPT
AGES AND STAGESSo what is normal?
Sara Hitchens, Counsellor/Psychotherapist www.sarahitchens.counselling.co.uk
Erik Erikson: 8 psycho-social stages
Each stage builds on the previous one
Stage 1: Birth – 2 years
Can I trust people around me?
Important event:
feeding Trust vs. mistrust
Birth – 2 yearsTop Tips
Be there physically and emotionally More than food, babies want to be held;
cuddled; responded to with smiles and baby talk
OK for a baby to cry – but don’t ignore cries for long
When crawling, create a safe, child-proof zone, with toys, books, etc
Stage 2: 2 - 3 years
Can I do things for myself?
Important event: potty training
Autonomy vs. shame
2-3 yearsTop Tips
Avoid making demands about potty training Involve them in simple decision making over
food, toys, clothing Set clear limits and establish good habits Choose your battles Stay firm! Organise play dates
Stage 3: 3 - 5 yearsAm I good or bad?
Important events:Play & exploration
Initiative vs. guilt
3 – 5 yearsTop Tips
Wherever safe, allow them to take risks Praise them for trying Encourage them to learn from mistakes and
move on Avoid teasing or ridiculing
The Brain: 0-5 years
By age 6, the brain is 95% of its adult size. Brain is very plastic, constantly changing… it needs interaction to develop
Stage 4: 5 – 11 years
Can I be successful?
Important event: School
Competence vs. inferiority
The Brain – until pubertyGrey matter, or thinking part of the brain, continues to thicken as the brain cells get extra connections.
Process peaks at about age 11 in girls and age 12 in boys, roughly about the same time as puberty.
The capacity to be skilled in many different areas is building up during this time.
4 – 11 yearsTop Tips
Give them lots of opportunities to find things that they enjoy and are good at
Give praise (when it is deserved) Remain firm on important rules; compromise
on rules that are negotiable Have your own interests away from parenting
Stage 5: 11 - 18 years Who am I?
Important event: social relationships outside the family
Identity vs. role confusion
What’s really happening?Pre-frontal cortex - CEO of the brain – is still developing
Part of the brain involved in planning and organizing
Unfair to expect them to have adult levels of organizational skills or decision making before their brain is finished being built. ...
Pruning? Or the brain sculpting itself?
Use it or lose it!
Teenage brain more responsive to new experiences and rewards
Dopamine input to the pre-frontal cortex is much higher than normal.
11 – 18 yearsTop Tips
Recognise and treat them as young adults Respect their privacy Allow their opinions and tastes to be different Support them as they take control of their own
lives, including their choice of career Continue to negotiate limits Don’t take their pulling away from you
personally; it’s normal!