advance program handouts problem solving parents

8/9/2019 Advance Program Handouts Problem Solving Parents

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/advance-program-handouts-problem-solving-parents 1/22

Handouts & Refrigerator Notes



Program 6: Adult Problem-Solving Meetings, Part 1 © Carolyn Webster-Stratton

P a r e n t s T h i n k i n g

L i k e

S c i e n t i

s t s

I d e n t i f e d

P r o b l e m s

I n d i v i d u a l ’ s

S t r e n g t h s

G o a l s

B e n e f t s

O b s t a c l e s

O n g o

i n g P l a n s

S t r a t e g i e s

[ t h o u g h t s ,

f e e l i n g s b e -

h a v i o r i n s e l f & o

t h e r s ]




P a r e n

t s T h i n k i n g

L i k e

S c i e n t i

s t s

I d e n t i f e d

P r o b l e m s

I n d i v i d u a l ’ s

S t r e n g t h s

G

o a l s




Use the Problem Solving

Approach to Help Your Child

“Relapses” of misbehaviors are normal , so be prepared

for them! Often a relapse is triggered by some type of

crisis or change in family life (illness, death, vacation,

new job, financial stress). This generally results in an

increase in children’s inappropriate behaviors. The

following are some ways to reinstate the program and

get yourself on track again.

1. Set up a time when you are not upset to talk about

the problem with your partner, a friend, or to think

quietly on your own.

2. Clarify what child behaviors you want and don’t want.

3. List the problems from most to least important. Concentrate on dealing

with only the most pressing problem.

4. Brainstorm as many solutions as possible (review handouts):

Reinforcements (praise, tangible rewards, play sessions)

Discipline (ignore, Time-Out, loss of privileges, work chores, logical conse-

quences, problem solving)

Techniques that help parents maintain self-control (self-talk, relaxation)

5. Evaluate 1–2 solutions you can implement, and make a plan.

6. Monitor weekly progress, and revise the program when necessary.

7. Reinforce your efforts.

Remember: There is a tendency for parents to use strategieswith short-term benefits (for example, obtaining immediatecompliance by yelling, hitting or criticizing the child) thathave long-term negative consequences (the child learnsto yell and hit instead of using nonviolent approaches tosolving problems). Parents need to use skills such as praising

and ignoring literally hundreds of times in order to changechildren’s behavior, and this takes a lot of work. Over thelong run, however, this approach teaches children how tobehave appropriately, builds essential skills for getting alongwith others, and fosters children’s positive self-image. This isa little like flossing your teeth — you need to keep doing itto realize the long-term benefits!




Incredible Years Problem Solving Worksheet

For Managing Family Problems

Problem Definition:

1. Problem defined: ________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

2. Triggers of problem occurring: _____________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

3. How do I respond? (thoughts and feelings) __________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

Goals:

4. What thoughts will I use? What positive outcome do I want to achieve? _________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

Solutions:

5. What skills/strategies can I use to stay calm to solve this problem?

Special time with person to strengthen relationship ___________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

Pleasurable time strategy to fuel personal strength ____________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

Coping strategies I will use ________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

Support I will give or get __________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

6. Choose from the list below how you will reduce this problem occurring

Schedule: Do I have a predictable plan? _____________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________




Distract/Redirection: How can I redirect or calm down or refuel myself so my response doesn’t

escalate? ________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

What is the positive consequence if I complete my plan? ______________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

Carrying Out my Plan:

7. To whom should I communicate this plan? __________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

8. Who can I call for support and check in with? ________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

9. How will I take care of myself while this is going on? __________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

Evaluating the Success of Solutions

10. How will I know I am making progress? What will be different? ________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

11. How will I celebrate my success at achieving my goal? ________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________



Handouts & Refrigerator Notes



Program 6: Adult Problem Solving Meetings, Part 3 ©Carolyn Webster-Stratton

• During the next week , talk to your child’s teacher about some aspect

of his/her learning or behavior. Remember to be positive, specific, use

“I” messages and to give clarification or feedback.

• PRACTICE expressing positive feedback or giving support to your

child’s teacher during the next week.

• PRACTICE asking for feedback when you are feeling defensive or when

unsure what the other person is saying or how they are reacting to

what you have said or done.

Chapter 15, Working With Teachers to Prevent Problems in

The Incredible Years .

Caution: Remember to continue special time!

To Read:

Home Activities for the Week




Yes NoStep 1: Schedule a meeting ___ ___

Step 2: Define the problem ___ ___

1. Focus on one problem at a time ___ ___

2. Collaborate and be positive ___ ___

3. State and be positive ___ ___

4. Express feelings ___ ___

5. Be future oriented ___ ___

6. Make “I” statements ___ ___

Step 3: Summarize the problem and goal in order

to be sure everyone understands the problem ___ ___

Write down the problem.

Step 4: Brainstorm solutions ___ ___

1. Remain open ___ ___

2. Be wild, innovative, humorous ___ ___

3. Increase quantity ___ ___

4. Postpone details ___ ___

Step 5: Evaluate solutions and make plans ___ ___

1. Review the entire list ___ ___

2. Evaluate each solution ___ ___

3. Make realistic plans ___ ___

4. Write down the plan ___ ___

5. Schedule next meeting ___ ___

6. Praise all efforts ___ ___Step 6: Schedule a follow up meeting ___ ___

1. Reinforce progress ___ ___

2. Refine problem solving plan ___ ___

Evaluating your responses to the items on this checklist will highlight some ofthe ways you can improve your problem-solving meetings.

HANDOUT

PROBLEM-SOLVING CHECKLIST




P r o g r a m 6 : A d u l t P r o

b l e m - S o l v i n g M e e t i n g s

© C a

r o l y n W e b s t e r - S t r a t t o n

R E F R I G E R A T O R N O T E S

T H I N G S T

O T A L K A B O U T W I T H T E A

C H E R S

• W h y i s t h

i s o b j e c t i v e i m p o r t a n t f o r m y c h i l d ?

• H o w c a n

I h e l p a t h o m e i n o r d e r t o s u p p o r t c l a s s r o o m

g o a l s a n d

o b j e c t i v e s ?

• W h a t c a n

t h e s c h o o l d o t o s u p p o r t m y c h

i l d s i n c e l i f e

i s s t r e s s f u l a t h o m e ? ( A s k f o r s u p p o r t w h

e n

e x p e r i e n c i n g f a m i l y d i f c u l t i e s , e . g . , d i v o r c e , d e a t h , a

m o v e , n e

w s i b l i n g . )

• W h a t o t h

e r s t a f f w o r k w i t h m y c h i l d ? ( I n

v o l v e a l l s t a f f

w h o w o r k w i t h y o u r c h i l d . )

• H o w c a n I b e s u r e I k n o w w h a t t h e h o m e w o

r k i s ? H o w

m u c h t i m e s h o u l d h e s p e n d o n h o m e w o r k e a c h d a y ?

• H o w c a n I h e l p m y c h i l d r e a d m o r e ? W r i t e ? D o m a t h ? e t c .

• H o w i s m

y c h i l d g e t t i n g a l o n g w i t h o t h e r c h i l d r e n ?

W h a t a r e

h i s a r e a s o f d i f c u l t y ? S t r e n g t h

s ? W h o a r e

h i s b e s t f r i e n d s ?

• H o w c a n

I b e m o r e i n v o l v e d s u p p o r t i n g h i s e d u c a t i o n ?

O r b e s u p

p o r t i v e t o y o u ?

• W h a t b o o k s c a n b e r e a d a t h o m e t h a t w o u l d s u p p o r t

c l a s s r o o m

g o a l s ?

P r o g r a m 6 : A d u l t P r o b l e m - S o l v i n

g M e e t i n g s

© C a r o l y n W e b s

t e r - S t r a t t o n


T H I N G S T O T A L K

A B O U T W I T H T E A C H E R S

• W h y i s t h i s o b j e c t i v e i m p o r t a n t f o r m y c h i l d ?

• H o w c a n I h e l p a t h o m e i n o r d e r t o s u p p o r t c l a s s r o

o m

g o a l s a n d o b j e c t i v e s ?

• W h a t c a n t h e s c h o o l d o t o s u p p o r t m y c h i l d s i n c e l i f e

i s s t r e s s f u l a t h o m e ? ( A s k f o r s u p p o r t w h e n

e x p e r i e n c i n g f a m i l y d i f c u l t i e s , e . g . , d i v o r c e , d e a t h , a

m o v e , n e w s i b l i n g . )

• W h a t o t h e r s t a f f w

o r k w i t h m y c h i l d ? ( I n v o l v e a l l

s t a f f

w h o w o r k w i t h y o u r c h i l d . )

• H o w c a n I b e s u r e I

k n o w w h a t t h e h o m e w o r k i s ? H o w

m u c h t i m e s h o u l d h e s p e n d o n h o m e w o r k e a c h d a y ?

• H o w c a n I h e l p m y c h i l d r e a d m o r e ? W r i t e ? D o m a t h ? e t c .

• H o w i s m y c h i l d g e t t i n g a l o n g w i t h o t h e r c h i l d r e n ?

W h a t a r e h i s a r e a s

o f d i f c u l t y ? S t r e n g t h s ? W h o a

r e

h i s b e s t f r i e n d s ?

• H o w c a n I b e m o r e i n v o l v e d s u p p o r t i n g h i s e d u c a t i o n ?

O r b e s u p p o r t i v e t o y o u ?

• W h a t b o o k s c a n b e r e a d a t h o m e t h a t w o u l d s u p p o

r t

c l a s s r o o m g o a l s ?





P O I N T S T O R E M E

M B E R A B O U T

C O M M U N I C A T I O N W I T H T E A C H E R S

• D o n ’ t i n t e r r u p t , a r g u e , g i v e a d v i c e ; l i s t e n

a t t e n t i v e l y a n d v a l i d a t e .

• D o n ’ t s t o r e u p g r i e

v a n c e s ; s p e a k u p c l e a r l y w i t h “ I ”

m e s s a g e s .

• E x p r e s s f e e l i n g s ( p

o s i t i v e a n d n e g a t i v e ) .

• S t i c k t o t h e p o i n t a

n d a v o i d u n l o a d i n g m u l t i p l e g r i

p e s .

• E d i t : b e p o l i t e a n d

p o s i t i v e .

• F o c u s o n x i n g t h e p r o b l e m a n d a v o i d b l a m i n g .

• R e c o g n i z e t h e t e a c

h e r ’ s p r o b l e m .

• T a k e o n e s t e p a t a t i m e .

• D o n ’ t m i n d - r e a d .

• G e t a n d g i v e f e e d b

a c k .

• D o n ’ t a t t a c k a n g r i l y .

• M a k e p o s i t i v e r e c o

m m e n d a t i o n s .

• E n c o u r a g e c o n v e r s a t i o n .

• G i v e c o n s i s t e n t v e r b a l a n d n o n v e r b a l m e s s a g e s .

• G i v e p o s i t i v e r a t h e

r t h a n n e g a t i v e c o m m a n d s .

N o t e : W h e n w a s t h e l a s t t h e l a s t t i m e y o u p r a i s e

d

y o u r c h i l d ’ s t e a c h

e r f o r h i s / h e r e f f o r t s ?


g M e e t i n g s




P O I N T S T O R E M E M B E R A B O U T

C O M M U N

I C A T I O N W I T H T E A C H E R S

• D o n ’ t i n t e r r u p t , a r g u e , g i v e a d v i c e ; l i s t e n

a t t e n t i v e l y a n d v a l i d a t e .

• D o n ’ t s t o

r e u p g r i e v a n c e s ; s p e a k u p c l e a r l y w i t h “ I ”

m e s s a g e s

.

• E x p r e s s f

e e l i n g s ( p o s i t i v e a n d n e g a t i v e ) .

• S t i c k t o t h e p o i n t a n d a v o i d u n l o a d i n g m u l t i p l e g r i p e s .

• E d i t : b e p

o l i t e a n d p o s i t i v e .

• F o c u s o n

x i n g t h e p r o b l e m a n d a v o i d b l a m i n g .

• R e c o g n i z

e t h e t e a c h e r ’ s p r o b l e m .

• T a k e o n e

s t e p a t a t i m e .

• D o n ’ t m i n d - r e a d .

• G e t a n d g

i v e f e e d b a c k .

• D o n ’ t a t t a c k a n g r i l y .

• M a k e p o s i t i v e r e c o m m e n d a t i o n s .

• E n c o u r a g

e c o n v e r s a t i o n .

• G i v e c o n s i s t e n t v e r b a l a n d n o n v e r b a l m e s s a g e s .

• G i v e p o s i t i v e r a t h e r t h a n n e g a t i v e c o m m a n d s .

N o t e : W h e n w a s t h e l a s t t h e l a s t t i m e y o u p r a i s e d

y o u r c h i l d ’ s t e a c h e r f o r h i s / h e r e f f o r t s ?

P r o g r a m 6 : A d u l t P r o

b l e m - S o l v i n g M e e t i n g s

© C a

r o l y n W e b s t e r - S t r a t t o n




P r o g r a m 6 : A d u l t P r o b

l e m - S o l v i n g M e e t i n g s

© C a r o l y n W e b s t e r - S t r a t t o n


g M e e t i n g s



REFRIGERATOR NOTES

ABOUT TALKING WITH

TEACHERS WHEN YOURCHILD HAS A PROBLEM

• Clarify the teacher’s view of the problem.

• Listen attentively and validate her point of view. (Don’t argue or interrupt.)

• Ask how the teacher is planning to address the problem.

• Brainstorm solutions—share strategies that work at home with your child.

• Share incentives and privileges that are motivating for your child.

• Express your support and appreciation for the teacher’s efforts.

• Make a home/school plan that is coordinated (e.g., regular positive notes

home from the teacher about your child’s successes are reinforced by par-

ents on a sticker chart).

• Give positive rather than negative comments and requests to teacher.

• Review with your child’s teacher what you will do at home to support her

efforts and clarify what she will do at school.

• Arrange a follow-up meeting to assess progress.

• Tell your teacher how and where it is easiest to contact you and ask when it

is the optimal time to call your teacher.

Remember when talking with your child’s teacher:

• Edit: be polite and positive.

• Stick to the point and avoid unloading multiple gripes.

• Focus on xing the problem and not blaming.

• Take one step at a time—be realistic.

• Remain calm.

• Make positive recommendations.

• Express your condence in your teacher’s abilities.

Note: When was the last time you praised yourchild’s teacher for his/her efforts?



EXAMPLES OF

TEACHER BEHAVIORS TO PRAISE

• Being kind to my child

• Taking time to talk with me

• Helping my child catch up to the day’s lesson when

we’re running late to school• Sending a note home telling me something about my

child’s program and school

• Helping my child learn to problem solve

• Helping my child get along with other children

• Giving me suggestions about how to help my child

learn

• Making the classroom a friendly place to come to

• Proudly putting my child’s work on the wall

• Helping my child feel good about himself or herself

• Teaching my child social skills

• Setting up an incentive program for my child

• Calling me at home to tell me about my child’s

progress

• Inviting me to help with a eld trip

• Keeping me informed about the curriculum

• Teaching and promoting anti-bullying

• Helping my child learn to take notes and how to

manage multiple assignments

advance program handouts problem solving parents

Documents