7/26/2019 Adoptive Families Memo to Teachers

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My twin daughtersenrolled this yearin our local public

elementary school. As theiradvocate, I am committedto educating my fellow

teachers about ways inwhich a positive approachto adoption can improve allchildrens education. Hereare some of my thoughts.

As the teacher, what you

believe matters. Your

unconscious stereotypes

will be communicated to

the class. Dont assumeSean McLaughlin cannot be the cor-

rect name for the child who looks Asianor Guatemalan. Or that an adoptedchilds family of origin was impover-ished or unstable. Dont assume that achild is lucky to have been adopted orsay, What would her life have been likeif? You would not say that to a bio-logical parent, so please dont say it to anadoptive one.

There are neither real families nor

fake families.Adoptive parents are par-

ents. In families with children throughboth adoption and biology, all the chil-dren are their parents children. So dontask, Which are yours?

Genetics and immigration can be

taught without requiring students to

trace their nuclear family roots.

Children can be given options for thefamily tree projects, such as including allthe people in their lives who love them.

Biology students can do genetic coding

based on any given set of characteristics.Dont make kids feel different by askingthem to do something they cannot do.

Student of the week projects can

be structured to encourage students

to share their lives from any age. Formany children it is impossible to sharedetails from their infancy. For thosechildren, expecting baby pictures ordescriptions of their first year of life isunreasonable.

There are many excellent childrens

books about adoption. Schools willwant to have at least three or four perclassroom and more in the library.

Intrusive questions about adoption

and birthparents from their school-

mates are a fact of life for many kids,

especially in the very early grades.

Your attitude and the information youprovide will help children in your class

handle their classmates curiosity.

Adoptive families often

celebrate different family

milestones. These include

Gotcha Day (the date thechild joined the family),Adoption Day, (the date the

legalities were completed),along with the childs actualbirthday. Some familiesinclude mention of theirchilds birthfamily inMothers and Fathers daycelebrations. Teachers willwant to discuss alterna-tive family celebrationswith parents of children intheir class.

Children born outside the U.S. arenot experts on the culture and lan-

guage of their birth countries. AsAmerican as most of their peers, theyshould not be expected to serve as repre-sentatives of the cultures of their birth inthe classroom.

Information on adoption is widelyavailable in bookstores, online, and

through local adoption organiza-

tions. Nowadays almost every class-

room is likely to include adopted chil-dren. Search out and use informationabout adoption. A great place to start isby ordering a copy ofAdoption and theSchools: A Resource Guide for Parents

and Teachers, by Lansing Wood andNancy Ng from FAIR, www.fairfami-lies.org, PO Box 51436, Palo Alto,CA 94303.

Leonlida DiTomasso is a teacher and mother oftwin daughters from Calcutta, India. This arti-cle first appeared in HCR Reporter, a newslet-

ter from the Connecticut Education Association.BYLEONLIDADITOMASSO

A Memo to My Fellow TeachersW hen it com es to adoption,instructors

need to check their curriculum and

their stereotypes.

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