1.Change your life | Change your worldTHINGS EVERYPARENT SHOULDKNOW(but shouldnt have tolearn the hard way) TIGHTROPETANDEMDecision making in theteen years STILL YOUNGYou may just be gettingstarted SPECIAL ISSUE FOR PARENTS

2. For a wide range of books and audio PERSONALLY SPEAKING and video productions to feed your soul, contact one of our distributors below, or I read an article recently in which CEO Jonatha visit our website at www.activated.orgHolland explained her job this way: I donot have a special parking place. I do not get Activated Ministries bonuses. As a matter of fact, I havent had a PO Box 462805paycheck in 12 years. My job-critical tasks are teaching, counseling, Escondido, CA 920462805 nurturing, and disciplining. I am not always popular. But thats OK USAbecause it is not part of my job to be popular. I am my Childrens Toll-free: (1877) 8623228Executive Officer. Ive been entrusted with raising three children E-mail: info@actmin.orgto be adults. Its not vitally important that they become successfulin the way that we often define successlots of money, fame, a Activated Europe Bramingham Pk. Business Ctr.specific career. But I do want them to succeed in the way Websters Enterprise Way Dictionary describes it, to turn out well. Luton, Beds. LU3 4BUBeing the father of six grown children, I could relate immediately. United Kingdom Her article also caused me to take stock of my parenting years in +44 (0) 845 838 1384 terms of her definition of success. Had my children turned out well? E-mail: activatedEurope@activated.orgYes, I told myself, rather tentatively at first, still a bit too preoccupiedby some of our low points and my own shortcomings as a father. But Activated Africa when I thought more about it in terms of who my children are now, I P.O. Box 2150was very encouraged. They are works in progress, like the rest of us, Westville 3630 but they are turning out well indeed. South AfricaOf course, most of the credit for that goes to their mother, who +27 (83) 556 8213never ceases to amaze me with her love, patience, dedication, and E-mail: activatedAfrica@activated.orgtenacity. But above all, I think we did as well at parenting as we didbecause we tried to do it Gods way. We were also fortunate to have Activated Indiabeen surrounded by likeminded friends, many of whom had more P.O. Box 5215experience than we did. Not only did we benefit from their experience, G.P.O. encouragement, and even hands-on help, but they also pointed us to Bangalore 560 001a wealth of godly counsel in various publications. India And thats one of the aims of this issue of Activatedto pass on E-mail: activatedIndia@activated.orgsome of that experience, encouragement, and counsel. May yours turn out well! Activated Philippines P.O. Box 1147 Antipolo City P.O.Keith Phillips 1870 Antipolo City Philippines FOr ActivAteD E-mail: activatedPI@activated.org Cel: (0922) 8125326vOl 9, IssuE 5 May 2008 2008 Aurora Production AG EDITOr Keith Phillips www.auroraproduction.comDEsIGNGiselle LeFavreAll rights reserved. Printed in Taiwan by Chanyi Printing Co., ltd IllusTrATIONsDoug CalderAll scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the New King James version. PrODuCTION Francisco LopezCopyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. used by permission. All rights reserved. 2www.activated.org | ACTIvATED vOl 9, IssuE 5 3. MAKE ITMAGICAL They say iTs The liTTle Things in life ThaT ofTen bring The greaT- esT joy. This is true of the hour I spend first thing each morning with three toddlers so their mothers, all fellow volunteers from BY sTEPHANIE PAONE the Family International with whom I live and work, can get on top of their day. I mustAs I read to them, I was surprised at how admit, though, that this hasnt always beenmuch they already knew. Each would point to the case.something familiar on the page and identifyIt was a great plan in theory, but with all it using their baby language, or try to imitate three still in diapers, one or the other of them the sound of one of the animals. usually had a smelly surprise for me uponWe read book after book, and I discovered arrival, while another would be a bucket ofanew that toddlers are like sponges, absorb- tears, crying over the fact that her mother wasing everything. They were learning just by me leaving her with me for a while. Believe me, reading to them, and I found myself enjoying I often found myself muttering, I wish this it as well. I decided then to put my heart into wasnt happening more than you do!my times with them and to come up withIn those early days of this venture, I wouldother activities to do together. greet them with a cup of coffee in hand, and Now that hour with them is one of my as soon as I could I would plop myself downfavorite times of the day. Whatever it is were in my beanbag chair and prepare to wait outdoing, without fail one of them will shout out the next hour. Of course that state of affairs Den! (Again, in their baby language) each usually came to an abrupt end when a toddler time the activity ends, and they all break out fight would break out with screams that couldin fits of laughter when I start it up again. be heard within a five-mile radius. What was Being able to help them learn and dis- I supposed to do with the three of them for acover new things and hearing them laugh in whole hour?delight is far more rewarding than anythingAfter a few days of this, one morning one I expected in the beginning. There are still of them picked up a book from the floor, some smelly surprises and the occasional tod- walked over, and sat herself down in my lap. dler tantrum, but Ive learned that my times Book? she said, looking at me with her big with them are what I make them, and they round eyes.can be magical!Okay, why not? As I began reading, the other two waddled over and sat down beside sTEPHANIE PAONE Is A MEMBEr OF THE FAMIlY us.INTErNATIONAl IN MExICO. ACTIvATED vOl 9, IssuE 5 | www.activated.org 3 4. START they will be able to discipline themselves. EARLY Discipline is not only about correction or the consequences for unacceptable behavior, although those are each a very important part of it. Discipline The Need for Loving, Consistent Disciplinestarts with step-by-step teach- ing, setting clear boundaries and guidelines, setting a good example in your own behavior, BY MArIA FONTAINE and being consistent. ParenTing is more ThanIf youre like most parents, comforTing children it was initially difficult for when They fall down,you to administer correction, or making sure they get and perhaps it still is. You proper nutrition, and brush love your children and dont their teeth, and so on. Parents want to see them unhappy. are responsible for their You wish with all your heart childrens spiritual training that there was some way as well, and the founda-around it, that they could tion stone of that training learn the lesson some easier is loving and consistentway, but because you do disciplineand when I say love them, you correct them loving, I mean reasonable,because you know its what even-tempered, and nonvio-they need and what will keep lent. Children begin forming them from being hurt worse behavior patterns and their later. As the Bible says, dis- ideas of right and wrong very cipline yields the peaceable early in life, so the earlier you fruit of righteousness to those can start teaching them, thewho have been trained by it better. (Hebrews 12:11). Discipline means training You cant expect children your children to lead a disci- to learn good behavior on plined life, and eventually to their own; its a long-term discipline themselves. If dis- process that requires consis- cipline is something that you tency, love, and fairness. Its only do to children, the end probably the biggest chal- result will be that as soon aslenge and the hardest job they get out from under your youll ever face as a parent. control, they will go wild. Its easier in some ways to But if you discipline themjust let them run wild and in the sense of consistentlyentertain themselves, but in trying to teach them to leadthe long run youll find that disciplined lives, eventually its much more worthwhile4 www.activated.org | ACTIvATED vOl 9, IssuE 5 5. to do the hard work that isnecessary, that your children for whatever reason, is con- needed to discipline yournot only need it in order tofusing and even damaging for kids. In fact, youre in for a lot grow up to be productive andchildren and will only make of heartache if you dont. useful members of society,it harder on you and them. ByUntil children learn thebut also to be happy anddisciplining consistently, you simple, basic lessons of secure in their relationshipwill need to discipline less, obedience, respect, concernwith you, their parent. Deepbecause your children will for others, self-control, anddown inside, children knowlearn their lessons quicker. discipline, they wont maturethey need boundaries andIf youre going to disci- or reach their full potential. want their boundaries to be pline your kids, you have to Theyll also be less happy and defined, and theyre happierbe involved in what theyre fulfilled in life, and theyll and more secure when they doing. When you make the probably make those around receive consistent, lovingcommitment to train your them less than happy too.discipline. children to lead disciplined And if you dont give childrenOnce you make the com- lives, youre also making a loving, consistent disciplinemitment to be faithful in the commitment to spend more when theyre young, then training and discipline oftime with them, because it when they get older theyllyour children, theres anotherdoes take being with them be much harder to handle.hurdle to cross, which is and tuning in to them. You Youll wind up having to consistency. There will bemight not enjoy the moments really crack down on themtimes when youre busy with when you have to correct to keep them from hurtingother responsibilities, times them or discipline them, and themselves or othersand when disciplining would at the time it will seem like a it wont be their fault. It will be inconvenient or you will lot more work to teach them be your fault for not teaching worry about what others the right way to do some- them earlier, when the stakeswould think, times when thing rather than just letting werent as high. you dont want to spoil thethem do what they want toWhen you look at it thatmoment, and times when do. But in the long run, youll way, youll see that the lovingyour children will try everyfind that youve saved your- thing to do is to teach your trick in the book to talk you self a lot of work, and youll kids from the beginning, out of it. Unless youre care-enjoy your times with your gently, lovingly, and consis-ful, situations and your ownchildren much more. tently showing them howmood or energy level will Consistently administer- to make the right decisions, have a greater bearing than ing loving discipline has laying the boundaries forthey should on how you mete great rewards. In the end, not acceptable behavior, and out discipline; you will either only will your children love, administering some form of ignore misbehavior becauserespect, and enjoy being with consequence when they crossyou feel that would be more you more, but you will feel those boundaries.expedient, or you will resort the same way about them,So the first step is to to sharp words or nagging.because you will have helped believe that discipline is But inconsistent discipline,bring out the best in them. ACTIvATED vOl 9, IssuE 5 | www.activated.org 5 6. ONE OF A KIND BY ElIsABETH sICHrOvsKYalmosT anyones lisT of PeoPle who She also had a knack for making each of have influenced my life includes at us feel special, and one way she did this was least one teacher. What kind of teachers are by speaking positively about us to others, these?The kind who use their talents to often even when we were within earshot. I help develop their students talents, the kind can still recall the pride I felt upon overhear- who strive to shape not just the mind but theing her tell another teacher how well I was heart. For me, it was a teacher we studentsdoing in spelling. It was satisfying to know came to affectionately call Auntie Marina. that my efforts had not gone unnoticed.At the time, my family was living in Japan,Auntie Marinas care and love extended where my parents were involved in adminis- beyond the school years. For quite some time trative work for our international Christian after our family moved to Taiwan, she sent me fellowship. Auntie Marina was my first- andnotes and cards. Ten years later, I still have sev- second-grade teacher.eral of them. When I reread one of those notesShe was level headed and stricter thanrecently, I marveled at the concern and interest most of our other teachers and caretakers, she had shown in corresponding with an eight- firm in her sense of right and wrong, and at year-old: Yesterday I came across your picture first we kids grumbled about that. Beforeas I was preparing a photo album of the long, however, we learned to trust her because children in my lifethose Ive cared for and we sensed that she cared about what kind oftaught over the yearsand I was reminded of people we would become. We felt secure withhow much I love you, my dear young friend. Auntie Marina because she clearly defined our On my ninth birthday she wrote: A very boundaries.happy birthday to you. I pray that it will beWhile she set limits and enforced the rules,a wonderful, special day for you, and a great she demonstrated equal amounts of positive-new year of your life, full of good surprises ness and love, and she also had an appropriate and love-filled experiences. Im happy to sense of fun. School with her wasnt limited know you! to worksheets and textbooks. She took us on On June 9, 2005, after a prolonged struggle excursions and trips to the park, and used her with cancer, Auntie Marina passed on to artistic talent in order to get us interested in Heaven. I know I am only one of many who arts and crafts. One day we children asked,are better for having experienced her love, Can we have coffee like you and the other which she always reminded us was Gods love adults? and the next day for snack we werepoured through her. delighted when she served us kid coffee milk that she had turned coffee color with ElIsABETH sICHrOvsKY Is A MEMBEr OF THE FAMIlY molasses.INTErNATIONAl IN TAIWAN. 6 www.activated.org | ACTIvATED vOl 9, IssuE 5 7. What to do when you feel frazzledfrazzled BY DErEK AND MICHEllE BrOOKEsWhatever you do, dont give in to feelings of frustra-tion and discouragement. Shoot up a prayer and ask Jesusto give you power for the hour and grace for the space,and He will. Ask Him to help you see your children as Hesees them, to see what they are going to become. He will There are going To be Times in The help you view the situation optimistically and with hope. day-To-day rouTine of ParenTingThe outlook may be bleak, but the uplook (looking up to when you feel overwhelmed by situations andJesus) is always bright. circumstances. Youve had an especially trying Because children are often a reflection of their parents, day at work, your eight-year-old wont do herits very easy to get discouraged and feel that you have homework, your teenagers stereo is shakingfailed when one or more of your children isnt doing well in the house, your toddler didnt make it to thesome area. But remember theyre also Gods children, and potty in timeand your dinner guests willthey are a work in progress, just like you are. It is God who be here any minute! You feel pushed to the works in you, both to will and to do for His good pleasure brink. (Philippians 2:13).Every parent faces days like this. Youre All He expects is that you try your best, give them your not alone. And youre not alone in a greater love, and leave the rest up to Him. Now that doesnt mean sense: Jesus is right there with you. He you should just throw up your hands in despair, let God understands, and He waits with encourage-take care of it, and quit when the going gets rough. He ment and solutions. If you have the opportu- probably intends for you to be part of His solution. You nity, talking with someone elsemaybe your need to find out from Him what He wants you to do, and spouse or a friendcan help you see things do it; then put the rest in His hands and let Him do what differently, calm your spirit, and give you ayou cant do. chance to pray together for the Lords help. You can even ask your children to pray withWHAT TO DO WHEN YOu FEEl FrAzzlED Is ExCErPTED FrOM THE you. Their faith and simple prayers can be a BOOKlET PoWer for PArenting BY AurOrA PrODuCTION. OrDEr wonderful encouragement. YOur COPY FrOM ONE OF THE ADDrEssEs ON PAGE 2. ACTIvATED vOl 9, IssuE 5 | www.activated.org7 8. TIGHTROPE TANDEM but youve got to win their confidence. Theyve got to know Decision Making that you love them and are trying to help them.When children become young teenagers, they start want- in the Teen Years ing to make their own decisions and run their own lives. Thats a natural part of coming into adulthood. Of course, by BY DAvID BrANDT BErG, ADAPTED that time their parents should have taught them how to make by The Time children reach Theirright decisions, and if they havent, things are likely to go early Teens, they have grown to nearly the haywire. When that happens it may seem like its too late, but physical stature of adults, but often still think better to start late than not at alland its never too late, with and behave like children. Thats the age when Gods help. a lot of young people do wild, crazy thingsWhen my first four reached their teens, I tried to guide and get into trouble, and of course if they them through the decision-making process, but then Id get start going that direction and no one is there them to make their own decisions. Id say, You know whats to help turn them around, things are likely to right and whats wrong. What do you think you ought to do? go from bad to worse.Theyd often try to get me or their mother to make theTeens are at the age of decision, and thats decision for them, so they wouldnt have to take the blame if a troubling, perilous time. Theyre trying to things went wrong. Or theyd try to persuade us to say yes to find their place in life, where they fit, and itthem doing something that they knew they shouldnt do, so worries them. They can be pretty difficultwed be guilty and not them. to live with, and they even find it difficultBut I would tell them, Dont ask me. You know whats to live with themselves, because they are in a right and wrong. What do you think you should do? After- quandary, in a state of flux. They can be very wards they were usually glad that we made them decide, idealistic, and at the same time very criticalbecause they knew that was the way it was supposed to be of their parents and other adults who arentand it helped them feel trusted and respected, which is a very perfect.important thing at that age.Making the transition from childhood to Most of the time they knew what was right, and they adulthood can be like walking a tightrope,wound up making the right choices. Even after they had made a high wire, and teens need someone there,a wrong choice or two, they usually turned around and made a parent or other strong role model, to helpthe right one after a little wisely presented advice. I believe them find their footing and steady them asthat most teens will do the same, if shown enough love and they cross over.patience and understanding.Teenagers may not act like it, but they Parenting or mentoring teens is a difficult, sacrificial, and actually want leadership, they want direction, sometimes scary job, but it also has thrills and rewards that and they know they need it. They want help, are all its own. 8 www.activated.org | ACTIvATED vOl 9, IssuE 5 9. to supply not only love and understanding intrying times, but also practical solutions tothe problems you face. For parents, the only thing more wonderfulthan having that kind of personal relation-ship with God themselves is knowing that itsjust as freely available to their children. Forthe promise is to you and to your children(Acts 2:39).The greaTesT discovery ThaT any of Families that share that common connec-us can make in life is that we can have a tion with God, whom the Bible calls loveclose personal relationship with our heavenly itself (1 John 4:8), are closer, more loving,Father through His Son, Jesus, because that more unified, and have far fewer seriousconnection puts us in touch with every otherproblems among themselves than familiesgood thing we need. that dont. Why?Because they have the Such a relationship is not only possible, its most important things in common, besides aonly a short prayer away. Jesus, I need You. clear standard of right and wrongthe spiri-Come into my heart and life. Forgive me for tual guidance and support they need to makemy sins, and be my Savior, my ever-presentthe right decisions and stick to them. Whencompanion and counselor, my unfailing help. problems and irritations arise, real solutionsAmen.and heavenly help are only a prayer away. Making that connection is instantaneous,If you want more for your family andbut that is only the start. Like any otherhavent yet discovered Jesus, connect withmeaningful relationship, it develops andHim and start growing together.matures over time, and it grows the quick-est through daily interaction. As you learn KEITH PHIllIPs Is A MEMBEr OF THE FAMIlYto turn to Him in prayer and get to knowINTErNATIONAl IN THE uNITED sTATEs. Him and His plan better through readingHis Word, you will come to understand howdeeply He loves you personally, how much Hewants to see you happy, fulfilled, and livingup to your full potential, and how directly Hewants to be involved in your life. You will beamazed at how ready, willing, and able He is GROWING TOGETHER BY KEITH PHIllIPs ACTIvATED vOl 9, IssuE 5 | www.activated.org9 10. Things every parent should know(But shouldnt have We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone to learn the hard way) today.Stacia TauscherYou can learn many things from chil-If there is anything that weIn bringing up children, dren. How much patience you have, for wish to change in the child,spend on them half as much instance.Franklin P. Jones we should first examine itmoney and twice as much and see whether it is not time.Author unknown Every child comes with the message that God something that could better is not yet discouraged of man.be changed in ourselves.Whats done to children, they Rabindranath TagoreC.G. Jungwill do to society. Karl Menninger Theres nothing that can help you understandChildren have more need of your beliefs more than trying to explain them models than of critics. You have a lifetime to work, to an inquisitive child.Frank A. Clark Carolyn Coatsbut children are only young once.Polish proverb There are no seven wonders of the world Each day of our lives we in the eyes of a child. There are seven make deposits in the memory Kids spell love T-I-M-E. million.Walt Streightiff banks of our children.John Crudele Charles R. Swindoll Making the decision to have a child is The guys who fear becoming momentous. It is to decide forever to haveWhat a child doesnt fathers dont understand your heart go walking around outside your receive he can seldom laterthat fathering is not body.Elizabeth Stone give.P.D. James something perfect mendo, but something that Before I got married I had six theories aboutIf you want your children toperfects the man. The end bringing up children; now I have six children, improve, let them overhearproduct of child raising is and no theories.John Wilmot the nice things you say about not the child but the parent.them to others.Haim Ginott Frank Pittman To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself.Josh Billingsif i had My Child to raise over again Its not only children who grow. Parents do If I had my child to raise all over again, too. As much as we watch to see what ourId build self-esteem first, and the house later. children do with their lives, they are watching Id finger-paint more, and point the finger less. us to see what we do with ours. I cant tell my I would do less correcting and more connecting. children to reach for the sun. All I can do isId take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes. reach for it myself.Joyce MaynardId take more hikes and fly more kites. Id stop playing serious, and seriously play. Dont worry that children never listen to I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars. you; worry that they are always watchingId do more hugging and less tugging. you.Robert Fulghum Diane loomans10 www.activated.org | ACTIvATED vOl 9, IssuE 5 11. TH E I M PORTANC E OF USI NGHANDS BY HCTOr MEDINAmy grandPa used To say, If you whom they and we will ultimately need see well-behaved children, you can be to give account of our lives. sure that someone is using both handsThere is a lot of talk these days in bringing them upthe right hand of about troubled teenagers and the expo- love and the left hand of discipline. In nential impact they have on society as the 25 years that I have been a teacher,their influence spreads to their peers, that maxim has been a cornerstone ofyounger children, and eventually their my daily interactions with my students. own children. And the same questionsPerhaps youve heard the analogy keep being asked: How did we get in that likens youngsters to small plants. this state? And how do we get out? Plants need water and sunshine, but Can we steer our ship back on a godlier they also need attention in the formcourse, or is it too late? of fertilizing, pruning, fumigating, I believe there is always hope, with transplanting to larger pots, etc. Gods help, because all things are pos- attention that requires work on the sible for Him (Matthew 19:26). But He part of the gardener and can be a cant and wont do it alone. He needs us temporary shock for the plant. In parents, teachers, and other adults to be the case of young people, that meansmentors and role models for our young giving them tender loving care firstpeople. Our part is to buck the trends and foremost, while not neglecting theof passiveness, permissiveness, and a other things that are necessary parts general lack of definite moral standards of character building, like providing that sadly have become norms in par- a healthy environment for their enting and education today. But if we social development and emotionalwill each do what we can, God will do and spiritual growth, setting limits, what we cant. He will bring about the teaching them to take responsibilityinward changes that our children need for their actions, and allowing and help them want to do their part, to them to learn through suffering do the right things with the right moti- the consequences of their own poorvation. With time, they can become decisions, if necessary. These more forces for positive change themselves, difficult aspects of parenting andbut it starts with us adults. We need to mentoring are usually also the ones thattake the reinswith both hands. are the most difficult for young people to accept, especially in the beginning, HCTOr MEDINA Is A MEMBEr OF THE FAMIlY but we owe it to them and to God, toINTErNATIONAl IN COlOMBIA. ACTIvATED vOl 9, IssuE 5 | www.activated.org11 12. THE EVOLUTION OFA MOTHER By MAriA Doehlerwhen my husband sam and i had onlyone child, I thought I had a handle on par-enting. I needed to adapt and bend and give upsome of my independence, but not too much.I was absolutely on top of Cades appearance,and he never wore dirty, stained, or soiledclothes. Cade was very portable, and we totedhim with us wherever we went. When some-thing needed to get done, we calmly set out todo it and got it done. I knew things would getharder as we had more children, but I wasntworried; I was pretty good at this.Brooke arrived next. Brooke was an angelof a baby, waking only to gurgle and coo, andputting herself back to sleep. I had gained lessweight during that pregnancy, so I was backin shape in no time. If I could ace it with two,I reasoned, I could handle anything. I was atthe top of my game. Enter Zara. Exit all parenting confidence.Its not that Zara was difficult on her own,but suddenly spontaneous meant 45 minuteslater. I often had kids crying in three differ-ent parts of the house. Doing anything asa family required the painstaking planningand execution of a mission to the moon. Webegan hearing comments like Just watchingyou wears me out! But babies arent babiesforever (before you can brace yourself, theyretoddlers!), and we learned to work with it.We learned that we didnt have to be perfect.Neither did our kids.At this point I think I started to betterunderstand that being a mother goes farbeyond giving birth and caring for mychildren physically; it means living my lifethrough my childrennot by imposing my12www.activated.org | ACTIvATED vOl 9, IssuE 5 13. FEEDING READING PArENTING GODs WAY: lOvE, uNDErsTANDING, INsTruCTION, AND DIsCIPlINEchildren are to respect and Parents are responsible to obey their parents. both teach and set a good Exodus 20:12example for their children. Ephesians 6:12 Deuteronomy 4:9 Colossians 3:20 Deuteronomy 6:67 Ephesians 6:4 Pray for gods guidance and help in raising your children.Parents are responsible to Judges 13:12correct their children when Proverbs 3:56necessary. James 1:5 Proverbs 3:12 Proverbs 19:18 treat children gently and inProverbs 29:17 love. luke 1:17 godly parenting will guide Ephesians 4:32children all through life. Colossians 3:21 Psalm 37:31 1 Peter 4:8 Proverbs 6:20, 2223 ideas and dreams on them, but by rejoicingProverbs 22:6 at and taking pride in their triumphs. Every- Patience, mercy, andJohn 10:2728 where we went, people would tell us Enjoyreasoning are the most2 Timothy 3:15 them while you have them. They will grow up effective. so quickly! That truth started to sink in. Proverbs 16:6 romans 2:4Four kids. Emma is every bit as special1 Thessalonians 2:11 as her brother and sisters. Spontaneous now means at least an hour. We still have to plan NEVER OUT OF STYLE everything, of course, but we only plan one A Message from Jesus for Mothers activity a day, max. We have lots of play clothes and just a few special clothes. Once whenold-fashioned moTherhood never goes ouT of Zara got blue marker on Cades shirt just assTyle because iTs all abouT love. I made people to we were finally ready to go out, I found myself need love, and I intended for them to first experience that thinking, Well, at least its on a blue shirt. It love through their mothers. Mothers are the embodiment of almost matches. We are a spectacle, but a happy love and care and tendernesslove that even the tiniest baby spectacle that people seem to enjoy watching. can feel and respond to.So if you think youre missing out on life because youre Im continuing to learn about love in waysstuck at home just caring for a baby or raising small chil- that are slowly changing the most stubborndren when you could be furthering your career, think again. parts of my nature. Each child and each day Love is the best thing in life! To be able to love to the full is reshapes me a little more, but I wouldnt havethe most important lesson anyone can ever learn, and love is it any other way. Its fun to be a family!the greatest gift anyone can ever receiveand mothers teach love and give love like no one else. Life would go on fine MArIA DOEHlEr Is A MEMBEr OF THE FAMIlY without many things, but not without mothers. Old-fash- INTErNATIONAl IN MExICO. ioned motherhood is here to stay! ACTIvATED vOl 9, IssuE 5 | www.activated.org13 14. ACTION THROUGH PRAYER A Spiritual Exercise Praying for oThers is a Power- ful way of PuTTing love inTo acTion. Youre not only thinking of Say a prayer for each in turn, claim- them and wanting to help, but youreing an appropriate promise of God doing something about it. Prayer, asfrom the Bible (see examples below). millions of people worldwide will Work your way down your list for 10 or attest, does change things. Prayer15 minutes daily, spending a minute or GodS promiSES moves Gods hand and heart to do theso praying for each person. things we ask. It doesnt always happen Add people to your list as theirfor those who need right away, but eventually those prayersneeds come to your attention. As your healing: are answered in the way God knows islist grows, you probably wont be ableI will restore health best for everyone involved. to pray for every person each day into you, says the LordPraying for others not only benefits the time you have allotted. Pray for(Jeremiah 30:17). those people, but you too. It brings athe most serious and urgent situations The prayer of faith will save spirit of faith, a positive spirit, because first, and as many of the others as you the sick, and the Lord will raise youre focusing on Gods goodness and have time for. Whenever you reach the him up (James 5:15). power and expecting Him to answer.bottom of your list, start again at the When you manifest faith by praying, ittop.for those in danger: pleases God and He goes to work in theWhen God answers one of yourGod is a very present help in situation or in the persons life. He loves prayers, thank Him for doing so, andtrouble (Psalm 46:1). you and the one youre praying for, and then drop that entry from your dailyThe Lord is a stronghold in the He wants to effect positive change. Yourprayer list. You may want to keep a day of trouble (Nahum 1:7). prayers set His power in motion.separate list of answered prayers andStart by writing a list of peopletake a moment to review it at the for those suffering loss youre concerned about, who needbeginning of your prayer time to boost and hardship: Gods help. Perhaps theyre sick or your faith that He will also meet the I, the Lord your God, will hold have had an accident, or are lonely,needs still on your list. your right hand, saying to or are in a financial bind, or are in Make praying for others a daily you, Fear not, I will help you danger, or have suffered loss. Includehabit, and you will not only help make (Isaiah 41:13). both those you know personally andtheir lives better, but your faith will Peace I leave with you, those who you have heard about in the grow and your spiritual life will beMy peace I give to you news or from others.enriched as you see God work. (John 14:27).14 www.activated.org| ACTIvATED vOl 9, IssuE 5 15. brightly. I soon found an abundance of venerable role models.The Swiss mountaineer Ulrich Inderbinen recently passed away at 103. He climbed the Matterhorn 370 times. He made his last ascent when heStill was 90, and he climbed other moun- tains until he was 95. In one of his last interviews he said, I have no idea howyoung I got to be 100 years of age, but I no longer know any stress. For sure I have no fear of death. I have lived a full and happy life. Why should I be afraid? BY CurTIs PETEr vAN GOrDEr At 95, Olivia Neubauer still teaches reading five days a week to eager when i was in Primary school, kindergarten students. One of her I wrote a report about Juan Ponce fellow teachers said the children get de Len , the Spanish conquistadorexcited whenever theyre around her. who in 1513 went looking for theIts a fascinating thing to watch. Her legendary fountain of youth but found principal added, She comes in every Florida instead. The story fascinated morning, willing and ready to work, me, though I couldnt quite grasp why and she does a fantastic job. people would search so arduously for a The legendary Cuban bassist Israel cure for aging. Growing old was some- Cachao Lopez, known as the father thing I saw happening to only a few of the mambo, set off on a three-week folks, most notably my grandparents.whirlwind concert tour of Europe at Back then, old age was something far, age 88. When asked how he has so far away. But now that Im in my mid- much energy, he says simply, I dont 50s, that port of call is on my horizon smoke or drink. and gets closer with every passing year. Despite being diagnosed withWhile I was recovering from aParkinsons disease at age 72, Pope recent ankle operation, I had plenty of John Paul II continued his rigorous time to think about what my twilightschedule of world travels into his 80s. years might be like. I also had more When media giants CBS and time to read, and I came across an arti- Viacom split in 2005, Sumner cle about the Portuguese film maker Redstone, who was 82 at the time, Manoel de Oliveira, who at the age of remained chairman of both companies. 98 entered a film in the Venice Film Mother Teresa continued minister- Festival. Oliveiras Egyptian colleague ing to the poor of India well into her Youssef Chahine said, I am young. I90s. am only 81. First of all, I never look atAfter reading these and other myself in the mirror. I think its sillyseniors stories, I am feeling younger to do that and tell oneself that you are than ever. getting older, especially when I look at Manoel still going strong. CurTIs PETEr vAN GOrDEr Is A MEMBEr OFThis set me off on a search forTHE FAMIlY INTErNATIONAl IN THE MIDDlE other old-timers who are still burning EAsT. ACTIvATED vOl 9, IssuE 5 | www.activated.org15 16. FROM JESUS WITH LOVEhome of heartsLove has creative power, and in the home love does its magic by engendering unselfish acts and helping each family member see the others in a positive light. Everyone wants to be understood, accepted, and loved for who he or she is, and the home is a God-created environment where these things can thrive. There are also things that work against love in the homeenemies of love, if you will. Disagreements between children and parents and sibling rivalries are a couple of the obvious ones, but there are other problems that are more subtle and therefore even more dangerousselfishness, laziness, indif- ference, criticalness, nagging, taking one another for granted, and thinking and talking negatively about one another, to name a few. These usually begin with small, seemingly innocent incidentsfinding excuses to not help out, squabbles over petty issues, little putdowns and sarcastic remarksbut unless you recognize these as attacks on your fam- ilys love and unity, they will develop into bad habits that will take a terrible toll on your family. The root problem is a lack of love. The only thing that will cure a lack of love is love itself, so ask Me to bring more love into your home, and then work with Me on it. If you ask Me to give each of you genuine respect and appreciation for the others, I will put that kind of love in your hearts, but then its up to you to cultivate that love through loving thoughts, words, and actions.