acceptance the good for human beings values and culture

Ximena Munyue Cabrera Phua B0081288

ACCEPTANCE: THE GOOD FOR HUMAN BEINGS VALUES AND CULTURE

BMCDP 1432A (M58) DR LEO WENEKE

13/09/14

There are so many concepts to what is the „good‟ for human beings. To be

free, to be happy, or to live a life full of pleasure were some of the ideas that eminent

philosophers conjured to be the „good‟ for human beings. So what does a girl, who is

not fully aware of what there is out there in the real world, think of as the „good‟?

Without any disrespect to these revered philosophers, I see that the good for human

beings is acceptance.

Life is filled with so much expectation. Expectations to be the perfect son or

daughter, in succeeding and getting a good job, expectations on being the perfect

devoting partner in a relationship, to expectations on yourself to look a certain way,

expectations to pretty much just fit in. Big or small, they still are expectations. The

thing with expectation is that it weighs us down. It fills the mind with doubt and

negativity because with expectation, it fills a person‟s mind of thinking that they

have to be good enough, to be picture-perfect. And having the idea of thinking that

you need to be good enough, well, that is what causes so much misery. It is what

screws up most in life, having that picture in our head of how it is supposed to be.

We should just let it go. Let go of expectation. We are constantly searching to be

accepted by other people instead of accepting ourselves. By accepting what you can

and cannot do, you then develop inner peace.

There are two types of people, pessimist and optimist. Pessimists are those

who cannot accept what is in front of them. They will try to change things that they

do not agree with. Then there are optimists. Optimists accept what is in front of

them. They allow things to just be. Thus there is the battle between madness and


acceptance that determines whether you are a pessimist or an optimist. By choosing

to accept things the way they are, life becomes much simpler. It is like letting go of

the unnecessary weight of frustration, disappointment, and heartache. Why hold

onto something that you cannot control?

In great religious books such as the Bible, Koran, Tanach, Tipitaka, and

others, are written guidelines for each person. These guidelines are teaches us about

moral obligations. The purpose of moral obligations is to help operate a healthy

society.

I see that moral obligation only works though, if you live in a society with

certain standards. Now it does not mean that this applies to only to first world

economies. Third world countries too, even though may not have much in wealth

but they stick together as a community. A civilized society cannot be achieved unless

the people in the society accept their obligations to that society. It isn‟t just about

paying taxes and obeying the law, but more of survival, as a community. Humans

(and other mammals) have evolved in such a way that we cannot survive without the

support of society. You are obligated to society for your own survival. This is

practicality. There is no „I‟ in team, as they say. So you have to accept that you

cannot do this, life, on your own, you need to collaborate with others in order to

survive. Moral obligations are basically doing the right thing even if you do not

want to, or even if the truth hurts in some way.

The idea of „acceptance‟ ties by stating that we just have to accept that it is

our job to partake in the community to make it stable. Though here there is a sense

of expectation that society expects from us, but it is up to us to make it clear if we

can or cannot do it. But the things that society expects from us are not morally

wrong things. It is just the basics, like not stealing, not cheating, not raping, killing,

or other trying to take over the community just because you want power. These


basics are things that we can easily avoid to do. It is easy because if you accept

things that has happen, you won‟t have the intuition of seeking revenge and then

commit wrong of these „no-no‟ actions. Why fight against the things that have

already been done. You only cause havoc when you try to change the outcome that

you are not happy with.

For example if you got fired from your company and wanted to seek revenge. And

by doing so, you decided to illegally hack the company‟s IT system and then erase

their entire database of contacts, not only would you get charged for a felony, but

then many people in that company might lose their job because a huge sum of clients

are lost. Then in the future, it would also hard for you to get another job because

you would also have a criminal record. With having trouble to get a job, your family

suffers because there is no one to bring home the bacon. It is all a domino effect, all

because you could not accept that you lost your job.

Another example would be that you got a C as your final grade from Politics

class and thought you deserved an A. You could not accept that C, and most of all

you could not accept the reasons on why your professor gave you that C. The anger

boils, and dissatisfaction overwhelms you. You then want to vent out. At that

moment fury takes over, and you go straight to your campus with gasoline and a

match, ready to set fire to your professor‟s office. The fire then is unable to be

contained and then spreads across the entire building. Those trapped in the building

then die an excruciating death. Not only have you committed a horrible crime with a

criminal record, but also you have guilt added to your frustration. Lives are ruined,

and broken due to you not being able to accept that you got a C instead of an A.

It would be hard for you to partake in helping society when all you do is

fixating on trying to change things that cannot be changed. We must accept that


things did not work out, and then move on. The short-term pain of accepting the

truth is much better than the long-term pain of believing an illusion.

Acceptance is the key. It prevents anxiety, tension, depression, frustration

and so on. With having these negative feelings, we, solely as human beings have no

mood to be kind or do any good. Negativity consumes us, and can pretty much lead

to such a miserable life. But when you let go or the „what if‟s‟ and expectations, and

just do what you know can be done, you would feel lighter, and so much happier. A

feeling of gratitude comes over, and you are just radiating with peacefulness. People

who are in good moods are more willing to do random acts of kindness, with no

expectation of a reward. With people lending a helping hand to one another, would

then make the community stronger. There is no expectation to depend one another,

because people just do what they are willing to do. Also with no expectation of help,

people are then not lazy and then try to complete their objective that they had set

out on doing. So with moral obligations, such as „helping thy neighbor‟, we accept

that it is just a nice thing to do so, but of course helping them do things that are not

legal.

Being a nice person is fun. For example, when a waiter messes something up,

you will be able to see the relief on their faces when you don‟t scream and swear at

them about it. You accept that we all make reasonable mistakes. Both sides benefit

from any negative feelings, and can just laugh and smile about a silly mistake.

When it comes to decision-making, „acceptance‟ is easily implemented here.

Accept what you can and cannot do. Do not force yourself to do a role that you will

not be able to achieve. Here, you need to be upfront with yourself. Do not live in

denial thinking that you can juggle strenuous tasks. The „good‟ of acceptance forces

a person to be realistic.


With acceptance, you can finally do what makes you feel comfortable with

doing. If you do not want to do something, then don‟t. Forcing one‟s self to do

something that they are not comfortable with, or not comfortable pushing their

boundaries in, would just make the person feel miserable. Acceptance and tolerance

are two very different things.

Acceptance is the key to picking out the right choice. You waver from what

is right and wrong. You accept it that if something is wrong, that it should not be

done. Lets say a man see‟s a gorgeous voluptuous woman, and tries to make a move.

When rejected, he has to make the choice, from reading the given situation if he

should continue on trying to get her number or let her go. If she really is not

interested, he needs to accept it, and move on. If he does not accept it, things could

take a wrong turn and get uncomfortably embarrassing. It is about reading the

situation and then accepting it the way it is.

The key to implement „acceptance‟ in one‟s life starts from their way of

thinking. They just have to stop being in denial, and accept things the way that it is.

There are so many moral situations that using „acceptance‟ would help make

life so much easier. A perfect example would be the story of Jaycee Dugard.

At the age of eleven, Jaycee Dugard was abducted from a school bus stop

within sight of her home in South Lake Tahoe, California. For more than eighteen

years Phillip Garrido and his wife, Nancy, held Dugard captive. Dugard depended on

the Garridos for everything, but she never lost hope of being reunited with her

family. After she became a mom herself, Dugard knew she could never leave her

daughters behind, even if that meant a lifetime of captivity.

“In the sumer of 1991 I was a normal kid. I did normal things. I had friends

and a mother who loved me. I was just like you. Until the day of my life was stolen.

For eighteen years I was a prisoner. I was an object for someone to use and abuse.


For eighteen years I was not allowed to speak my own name. I became a mother and

was forced to be a sister. For eighteen years I survived an impossible situation. On

August 26, 2009, I took my name back. My name is Jacee Lee Dugard. I don‟t thik of

myself as a victim. I survived. A Stolen Life is my story.” (Jaycee Dugard)

The acts that was acted upon her: abduction, rape, mental and emotional

abuse are all morally wrong. This girl was forced to become a mother at the age 14.

She suffered what no one should have to ever go through.

When you are a victim of such indecent acts, the victims tend to go into

denial. They refuse to believe the acts that has happen upon them. And though the

things done are traumatizing, they still hold onto and allow it to consume them.

Their whole being shuts down. Then there are expectations from outside of them to

be damaged which feeds into their desire to stay numb. Sometime the expectations

could be to recover fast. Expectations from outside leeches on more and devours

them entirely. Victims become lost, and too scared to do anything anymore.

But then with the power of acceptance, you accept the things that had

happened, you accept that what was done upon you was all wrong, you accept that

you were the victim, and it was not your fault, you are then able to move on with

your life. There is no point on dwelling on what had happen to you. You cannot

change the fact that it had happened.

Jaycee Dugard is a strong girl. She had to accept from the very beginning

that she was now his captive. She had to accept the fact that the things being done to

her was wrong. She accepted that they also were lonely people trying to fill in a

void. In that way, it helped her survive. She analyzed the environment. Knew when

to rebel and when not to. Her acceptance helped her survive, because she knew what

she had to do in order to survive. When she became a mother, she accepted the child

to be hers. She accepted that it was her duty to try to raise the kid, and implement


some sort of education for both her daughters. And then when she was finally free,

she had accepted it all. She accepted that for 18 years, that, that was how her life was

suppose to go. There was no pause while she was in captivity at Phillip Garrido‟s

shed. Because she was able to accept it all, she was able to continue on living her life,

now in the real world. It did take time to adjust, but because of acceptance, in no

time, she was back on her feet, figuring out all that she missed.

Jaycee Dugard learned to be so appreciative of life. From accepting all the

bad that has happened upon her, she learned to appreciate the little simple things

that life has to give. Her acceptance allowed her to open up and speak up. She made a

foundation to help families recover from abduction and any aftermath of traumatic

experiences.

Acceptance helps people move on. Yes, the things that had happened to her

were dreadful. But by accepting it, it made her stronger, and become a grateful

person. She accepted that this was how her life was to go, and that she did not need

any explanation for it.

She did not seek for revenge. She just focused on herself. If she had sought

out revenge, the constant reminder would be dragged on, and it would take forever

for her to get on with her life. Not to mention all the life sucking emotions that

would hover her. She had accepted it as how it was and allowed prosecution to do

their job.

All the actions Garrido had done to her are all morally wrong, therefore it is

the jury‟s obligation to accept it and sentence him to the punishment he deserves.

Acceptance makes a person more grateful and also strong. People would be

so much kinder, and helpful and independent if they let go of all the expectations and

just live life without any grey clouds damping their lives.


I have chosen acceptance because that was how my path in life lead me to be. I have

been through things and lived miserably for seven years unable to accept the things

that had occurred to me. But I found that once I had accepted the things that have

happened, the judgment I had upon myself, I was then able to finally breathe and

just coup and live my life.

BIBBLIOGRAPHY

Dugard, Jacee. A Stolen Life. Great Britain: Simon & Schuster, 2011. Print.

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