about our children, may 2014

OurOurOurOurOurOurOurOurOurOurOurOurChildrenChildrenChildrenChildrenChildrenChildrenOurOurOurAboutAboutAboutOurOurOurAboutOurOurOurAboutOurOurOurAboutOurOurOurAboutAboutAboutAboutAboutAboutOurOurOurAboutOurOurOurAboutOurOurOurAboutOurOurOurUseful Information for the Next Generation of Jewish Families

Supplement to The Jewish Standard May 2014

Making Memories for Mothers DayRecipes, free-gift ideas and more

Best Bets for Birthday BashesSpotlight on Autism

About our Ch i ldren MAY 2014

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Chilton has joined one of the nations top health systems, Atlantic Health System. This means well be expanding

the breadth and scope of services we offer as well as providing seamless access to Morristown Medical Center,

one of the top 50 hospitals in the nation*. And Morristown Medical Center is the home of Gagnon Cardiovascular

Institute, which is in the top 2% of all cardiac programs in the nation. Youll be able to draw on the expertise of

Atlantic Neuroscience Institute at Overlook Medical Center, #1 in NJ for the treatment of stroke and neurological

disorders. Plus you will have access to the full spectrum of pediatric care from Goryeb Childrens Hospital. And

while you will continue to get the same great care from doctors you trust, one thing has changed, our name.

Were now Chilton Medical Center.

With Atlantic Health System behind us,

we have a great future in front of us.

CHilton HAS joined AtlAntiC HeAltH SYSteM.

97 West Parkway, Pompton Plains, nj 07444

For more information call

1-888-CHilton

or visit atlantichealth.org/chilton

* Cardiology & Heart Surgery, Gynecology and Geriatrics - U.S. News & World Report

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May 2014

Mothers Day Gifts . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5Beautiful priceless presents that dont cost

Mothers Day Recipes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6Sweet or savory pancakes

Mothers Day Refl ections . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7Using the day to think of your own values

Birthday Bashes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8A plethora of places to celebrate

Jewish Summer Camp . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9Good reasons to send your child

Simchas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11Celebrating lifes great moments

Our Daughters, Our Selves . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12Why Barbie is no living doll

Cause Im Happy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13Role model the mood for your children

Special Needs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14Focus on autism

Gallery . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16Pictures of our precious children

Top Choices . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17Hot picks for May

Calendar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18Great things to do this month

3ABOUT OUR CH I LDREN MAY 2014

Glatt

OurOurOurOurOurOurOurOurOurOurOurOurChildrenChildrenChildrenChildrenChildrenChildrenOurOurOurChildrenChildrenChildrenAboutAboutAboutOurOurOurAboutOurOurOurAboutOurOurOurAboutOurOurOurAboutAboutAboutAboutAboutAboutOurOurOurAboutOurOurOurAboutOurOurOurAboutOurOurOurUseful Information for the Next Generation of Jewish Families

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ABOUT OUR CH I LDREN MAY 2014

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I f you dont use it, you lose it.A truism when referring to your muscles and your brains, but your gift certi cates?When Jeff and I got married 14 years ago, in addition to getting a

great husband, I got several settings of beautiful china (Lenox India pat-tern, lovely), many generous gifts in the form of checks and a few gift certi cates to favorite stores.

Im not sure about most peoples shopping habits, but sometimes these gift certi cates would linger at the bottom of a drawer because, while I liked the store to which the certi cate belonged, there wasnt necessarily something I needed or wanted at the time I might be visiting.

And to just use a gift certi cate for the sake of using up the gift cer-ti cate for something that I just had to buy just because, well, I just had to buy it, didnt seem like a satisfying shopping experience. (And after all, shopping is a feeling)

So unused gift certi cates that were stored underneath other draw-er essentials or non-essentials got forgotten about. Every now and then, I would think about what I might get from this particular store, The Judaica House on Cedar Lane in Teaneck. I was working for another Bergen County newspaper at the time and I would wander into the store and admire the beautiful books, artwork, ceramics and other items of Judaica.

Perhaps I should get some art? No.Perhaps a mezuzah? No. So without buying anything at the time, the gift certi cate remained

unused.At one point I thought I should buy a hot water

urn that I could use on Shabbat. It would serve my guests and us and it would be a tting wedding gift. Furnishing a way for our guests that we hosted to have a nice warm drink on Shabbat.

Nah, advised my friend, Devorah. They get yucky on the inside and need replacement. Use the gift certi cate for a sefer, a book for the kids, she suggested. Again, I never got to the store. Never

purchased anything.Then it was time for our family to have another simcha. It was our son, Yehudas bar mitzvah, and as is the fashion for the

bar mitzvah boys, Yehuda wanted to design his own kippah. He wanted a cool kippah that was tting for his turning a bar mitzvah.

So we returned to The Judaica House, and Yehuda designed a won-derful royal blue and yellow yalmulke, with a logo of two lions, the To-rah and a big letter Y. It was gorgeous.

Remembering that I had the gift certi cate, I thought to bring it when we went to pick them up. It was so long ago, our wedding. Id have to wipe the dust off that gift certi cate, but I thought why not try?

When I paid the balance, I presented the gift certi cate to the sales clerk. This is pretty old, I explained. It was from our wedding. But can I use it? It was from so long ago, the sales clerk that signed it in 1999 was no longer working at the store.

To my absolute surprise and delight, not only were they willing to take it, but they were amused and saw the poetry in that transaction.

What a wonderful use for the gift certi cate. Better than art. Better than a mezuzah. Even better than a book.We used our wedding gift for our rst-born sons bar mitzvah. For

his kippah.It certainly was a gift certi cate that kippahs on giving.

Cheers,

musings from the editor

Dont Miss About Our Children in June Published on May 23, 2014

Natalie JayAdvertising Director

Peggy EliasGeorge KrollKaren NathansonJanice RosenBrenda SutcliffeAccount Executives

About Our Children is published 11 times a year by the New Jersey/Rockland Jewish Media Group, 1086 Teaneck Road, Teaneck, NJ 07666; telephone: 201-837-8818; fax: 201-833-4959.; e-mail: [email protected].

OurChildrenAbout

Rachel HarkhamYvette Alt MillerAdina SoclofSlovie Jungreis-WolffDenise YearianContributing Writers

MissionStatementAbout Our Children is designed to help Jewish families in our area live healthy, positive lives that make the most of the resources available to them. By providing useful, current, accurate information, the publication aims to guide par-ents to essential information on faith, education, the arts, events, and child-raising in short, everything that todays Jewish family, babies to grandparents, needs to live life to the fullest in northern New Jersey and Rockland County.

James L. Janoff Publisher

Marcia Garfi nkleAssociate Publisher

Heidi Mae BrattEditor

Deborah HermanArt DirectorAdvisoryBoard

Dr. Annette Berger, Psy.D.Psychologist, Teaneck

Michelle Brauntuch, MS,CCLSChild Life Specialist, Englewood Hospital, Englewood

Hope EliasofMarriage and Family Therapist, Midland Park

Howard Prager, DC, DACBSPHolistic Chiropractor, Oakland

Jane Calem RosenMarketing and Communications Specialist

Barry Weissman, MDPediatrician, Hackensack and Wyckoff

Cheryl Wylen Director of Adult Programs and Cultural Arts YM-YWHA of North Jersey, Wayne

OurChildrenAbout


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A school so close can take them so far.Find out more. Schedule a visit today. 435 Lydecker Street, Englewood, NJ [email protected] 201-568-5566 x7212

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Free but Priceless Gifts for Mothers DayD E N I S E Y E A R I A N

Motherhood is a 24-hour job with no pay, no vacation and few fringe bene ts. Fortunately, there is a day set aside to give mothers the at-tention and appreciation they deserve. After asking dozens of moms what they would like for Mothers Day the answers were irrefutably the same.

Its not so much what is purchased, but the gift of I love you through words and actions, says mother and grand-mother Ella Catron, local mother and grandmother.

Karen Kolek, mother of three, agrees. Anything the kids come up with for a craft-type memory is well worth the time, effort, and messiness. These things go further than any expensive item.

So stash your wallets and start brain-storming about what would make their mother feel appreciated and special.

Here are ve no-cost ideas to get you started.

1. A Family Tree. Show Mom what a special part of your family she is by creating a family tree. Find a short tree branch and place it in a decorated can. Stabilize the branch with sand, clay or

plaster. Next cut out large leaf shapes from construction paper. Write the names of family members on one side of the leaves and tape or paste photo-graphs of them to the other side (dont forget your pets!). If you dont have a pic-ture of someone, draw it. Punch a hole through the top of each leaf and thread a piece of yarn through it. Now tie the leaves to the tree branches.

2. At Your Service. The gift of ser-vice is something that keeps on giving. Talk with family members about the chores your mother does around the house. On small strips of paper write down each job she does, and on the other side write the name of one family member who will volunteer to do that task for her. Continue this until you have covered all of her responsibilities. Find an old shoe box, place the strips of pa-per in it, and wrap it up. Present this to Mom and in the days to come give her

service with a smile.3. This is Your Life. Make Mother

feel honored with a special presentation of This is your Life. Stage the show as if it were a television special. Have one person be the show host who interviews other family members regarding what they love about Mom. They may also want to share a story or memory they have of her. Between interviews, prepare a special song, poem or other talent in her honor. Ask Dad to videotape the pro-gram and your mother will have a keep-sake for years to come.

4. Queen for the Day. A day of re-laxation and royalty will make Mom feel extra special. When she wakes up, greet her with a homemade crown and tell her she will be queen for the day. Serve her favorite breakfast in bed and ask what she would like to do today. If she needs a little prompting, suggest a family hike in the morning, a picnic in the park for

lunch, and a nap in the afternoon. While she is having down time, wash her car and ll it up with gas. Make the evening special with a home-cooked dinner and movie. During the movie, dote over her by rubbing her feet, brushing her hair, or giving her a manicure. Throughout the day, remind her of how much you love and appreciate her.

5. Time Alone. Most mothers of young children have little time for them-selves. Give Mom the day off to get a massage, go shopping, or sip coffee with an old friend. While she is gone, clean the house, do the grocery shopping, and prepare a special Best Mom in the World banner for her arrival home.

Still want to purchase something for Mothers Day? Here are a few tried-and-true ideas: owers, plants, or a tree; per-fume; jewelry; scarf; bath set; clothing; CD or DVD; gift certi cate for a massage, manicure, book, coffee, home clean-ing service, etc.; tickets to a show; gym membership.

Denise Yearian is the former editor of two parenting magazines and the mother of three children.

OurChildrenAbout

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6 ABOUT OUR CH I LDREN MAY 2014

For Breakfast or Brunch, Sweet or Savory Pancakes to Make Mom Smile

RAC H E L H A R K H AM

A mothers day haiku anagram:Maybe go out for brunch?Or make her breakfast-in-bed- Mom will love these pancakes.

Whether she has a sweet toot, or is the spicy-savory type, Mom will de -nitely enjoy a hot plate of pancakes on Mothers Day especially if she doesnt have to cook them herself. These reci-

pes serve up two versions of pancakes: sweet and fruity and spicy and savory. Both are full of avor.

The Lemon-Ricotta Pancakes with Berry Con t, are sweet and lemony and berry juicy. Thick creamy ricotta is mixed into the batter together with fresh lemon juice and bright lemon rind. These uffy pancakes go to the next level of luscious when you serve them with a

gorgeous puddle of stovetop berry con- t. Garnish with sour cream or whipped cream if youd like. Its a breakfast treat any which way.

For later-in-the-day pancakes or for those who prefer a salty/savory bite, a batch of Cornmeal Green Chili Pancakes with Spicy Mango Salsa would be just right. This recipe is more of a Johnny-cake than a traditional pancake. The

batter is made from cornmeal and our; diced green chilies and sharp cheddar cheese are mixed in for piquant avor. Fresh, colorful mango salsa offers a juicy spice, but if you like things on the mild-er-side, substitute a dash of red pepper akes for the diced jalapeno.

This Mothers Day offer Mom a homemade dish that is as unique and in-teresting as she is.

Lemon Ricotta Pancakes2 to 4 tablespoons canola oil cup all-purpose fl our1 tablespoon baking powder teaspoon salt4 tablespoons sugar1 cup ricotta cheese2 eggs, room temperature cup milkZest from one large lemon2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice or about half a lemon

2 to 4 tablespoons canola oil

1. In a medium sized bowl combine the fl our, baking powder, salt, and sugar.

2. In a separate large bowl mix together ricotta, eggs, milk, lemon zest, and lemon juice.

3. Pour the fl our mixture into the wet ingre-dients and mix until the ingredients are well combined.

4. Heat canola oil in a frying pan over medi-

um-high heat. When pan is sizzling drop batter in cup increments onto pan.

5. The pancakes are ready to fl ip when small bubbles form on the surface. Repeat process until batter is all used up. Serve with Berry Confi t.

Makes between 8-10 pancakes

Very Berry Confit1 cup of fresh blueberries1 cup fresh raspberries cup sugar2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice teaspoon potato starch or cornstarch

1. In a medium saucepan over medium heat combine blueberries and raspberries. Mix in sugar, lemon juice and potato starch, break-ing down berries as you stir. Cook for 3 to 4 minutes until a thick and juicy.

Recipe yields approximately 1 cups berry topping

Rachel Harkham is a recipe developer, cookbook author and chocolatier. She lives with her family in Rockland County. Visit her at www.reciperachel.com

Cornmeal-Green Chili Pancakes cup cornmeal cup all-purpose fl our2 teaspoons baking powder1 teaspoon salt2 tablespoons taco seasoning mix or 2 tea-spoons chili powder

2 teaspoons sugar1 cup milk2 tablespoons corn oil cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese1 4 ounces can diced green chilis2 to 4 tablespoons corn oil

1. In a large sized bowl whisk together cornmeal, fl our, baking powder, salt, taco seasoning mix, sugar.

2. In a medium bowl stir together egg, milk, corn oil. Pour into the dry ingredients and mix ingredients together until just combined.

3. Fold in the shredded cheddar and the diced green chilis.

4. Heat corn oil in a frying pan over medium-high heat. When pan is sizzling drop batter in cup increments onto pan.

5. The pancakes are ready to fl ip when the pancakes sides pull away from the pan. Repeat process until batter is all used up. Serve with Mango Salsa.

Makes between 8 to 10 pancakes

Mango Salsa2 ripe mangoes, peeled and diced into small cubes6 scallions, white and light green parts sliced thin

1 red pepper, fi nely chopped1 jalapeno, diced or a pinch of red chili fl akesJuice of I lime (about 2 tablespoons) cup white vinegarSalt and pepper, to taste

1. Place ingredients in a medium bowl and mix well. If you prefer a chunkier consis-tency leave as is. For a smoother texture, pulse in a blender or food processor for a few seconds.

Recipe yields 2 cups

OurChildrenAbout

7About our Ch i ldren MAY 2014

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Using Mothers Day to Reflect on Your Familys Goals

Y v e t t e A lt M i l l e r

Mothers Day gives us a valuable chance to pause and reflect on our goals for our family life. So whether youre a mother or not, take a few minutes to sit quietly and think about your answers to the following six questions.

1. What do I want the atmosphere to be like in my home?John Lennon famously said life is what happens while youre making other plans. Too often, the mood in our homes is a by-product, what naturally happens while were busy pursuing other goals. One of the highest Jewish wishes for a person is that they should have shalom bayit, shalom peace in their homes. Shalom is an absence of strife, a state of relating to each other with respect and kindness. But in Hebrew, Shalom means even more than that. Shalom has a second meaning as well: it denotes com-pleteness. When we wish for shalom in our homes and our families, were asking for more than a mere cessation of argu-ments; were asking for a sense of com-pleteness, a sense of truly knowing one another.

2. Do we have enough unscripted time together?Getting to know other people takes time, and families are no exception. Yet these days, time seems like the one commod-ity were low on. With pressures from work and from school, not to mention the constant pressure of staying con-nected electronically, spending time to-gether with no outside distractions can seem like an impossible goal. One place to start re-thinking our schedules is mealtimes. A host of studies has shown that children who eat regularly with their parents have significantly lower rates of drug and alcohol abuse, earn higher grades, and have better self-images. The way in which families eat together seems to be important too: families that ate together while watching TV had higher rates of family tension than those who conversed during the meal. Judaism also gives us a weekly formula for the kind of togetherness associated with healthier families. Shabbat is a time when families traditionally tune out of the pressures of work, school and the like, and turn inward to focus on each other instead. Shabbat dinner and other meals can be a needed break from the thick of the week, giving us a chance to relax, unwind, have a live conversation with loved ones and guests, and even begin to get to know one another again.

3. What are my familys spiritual goals?Many of us arent used to thinking in terms of spirituality, but each family has a spiritual part of their life (whether we use words like spiritual not). Every-body craves a connection with some-thing larger than themselves. Children, especially, wish to make sense of the world around them. And the ways in which we choose to live help our fami-lies come up with their own answers to the big questions in life.

Do our children see us doing char-ity? Going out of our way to help others? Acting with honesty and honor? Are we showing them that we value our tradi-tions? That we care for our communities and turn to them in times of trouble? That we seek to connect with God? It can seem daunting to influence the spiritual growth of our families, particularly when many of us havent completely worked through our own thoughts and feelings yet. But others are watching our exam-ples just the same.

A famous Jewish story shows the awesome power of a Jewish woman. Its recorded that in ancient times, there was a righteous Jewish couple. Unfortunate-ly, they were unable to have children with each other, so they decided to di-vorce and seek better fortune with new spouses. Each of these righteous people in turn married a very wicked spouse but their fates were very different. For in time, the virtuous mans evil wife influ-enced him to become wicked also. But the righteous woman gradually induced her wicked husband to become good like her. Like this woman, we each have the power to influence those around us. Mothers, especially, are well placed to display behavior they wish their families to absorb.

4. What am I going to buy today?The ideal Jewish woman is good at shop-ping. This isnt a line out of pop culture, but a deep observation in Jewish tradi-tion. Each Friday night, Jews around the world recite the Woman of Valor prayer praising the supreme Jewish woman. The poem, taken from the end of the biblical Book of Proverbs, describes this supreme woman as a businesswoman, making and trading goods from afar. Jew-ish educator and writer Tziporah Heller comments on this image. She points out that each one of us is a merchant, selecting what things not only goods, but also ideas and values we wish to bring home from afar, from outside our homes. Each of us thus goes shopping every day. Its our job to be discerning: to identify and embrace those things

that will strengthen our families, and us and to have the wisdom to leave the rest.

5. What is my legacy?Alfred Nobel, a 19th Century Swedish chemist, invented dynamite. In 1888, when he was 55, a French newspaper erroneously published his obituary, and he was horrified by what he read. Death and destruction were his only legacies.

Nobel decided to change and do something positive with the rest of his life. He used is fortune to establish the Nobel Prize, given in perpetuity to hon-or advances in sciences, literature and peace. In 50 years, when our grandchil-dren tell their own grandchildren about us, what do we want them to say? Most of us wont have the shock that Alfred Nobel did, but we can each heed his ex-ample and consider what our legacy will be.

6. What are you grateful for?Its easy to get caught up in the work of being part of a family and forget the joy. Many people feel that in order to be happy, its easiest to go out: see a mov-ie, have a meal, to somehow be enter-tained. Yet researchers find that outside sources of happiness quickly lose their potency. (Theres even a psychological term for it: hedonic adaptation.) Instead, researchers find, the quickest way to in-crease our happiness is to focus on the good in our lives. Specifically, psycholo-gists have found that writing a list of things were grateful for makes people significantly happier.

Try taking a moment to write down what were thankful for. Thinking about our families, our health even the mi-raculous fact of our very existence can help us appreciate our families much more, and enjoy them better too.

Reprinted with permission of Aish.com.

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8 About our Ch i ldren MAY 2014

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OurChildrenAbout

Bounce U70 Eisenhower Drive, Paramus, NJ201-843-5880www.bounceu.comWith our amazing inflatable structures, unbeatable customer service, and clean, climate-controlled environment, all you really have to do is show up and take pictures. Throwing a private party here couldnt be easier.

Cresskill Performing Arts300 Knickerbocker Road, Suite 1100Cresskill, NJ201-390-7513, 201-266-8830www.cresskillperformingarts.comBirthday parties galore are for the mak-ing her at this diverse arts studio which offers everything from all kinds of dance parties to yoga parties to acting and the-ater games to arts and crafts. Kosher available.

Field Station: DinosaursOne Dinosaur Way, Secaucus NJ973-748-4317www.fieldstationdinosaurs.comAt Field Station: Dinosaurs were saying goodbye to boring, uninspired birth-day parties, and inviting your child into an outdoor Paleozoic world of mystery, learning, and unforgettable thrills. Every party includes admission to the Field Station and its dramatic dinosaur-lined

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Its that time of year. Birthday party time. What to do for your little one, or bigger one? If you want something more than an at-home soiree with cake and hats (how old-fashioned is that?), there are very many local options to give your child a memorable birthday expe-rience. Not only can you visit with faux dinosaurs or bounce on inflatables, but also the best part is that you dont have any after-party cleanup to handle.

Bounce U in Paramus is party cen-tral for the 2 to 14-year-old set, says Jon Horwich, owner of the venue that boasts several inflatables and a host of activi-ties with the blown-up playthings that keep the party-goers busy from room to room.

The kids just love bouncing and walking on the moon and all the activi-ties, says Horwich. But what is really special about our place is that we bend over backwards for our guests. What re-ally distinguishes us is our customer ser-vice. Weve had families that have had 8 or 9 parties with us.

The popular Paramus spot has book-

Birthday Bashes from Prehistoric to Contemporarytrails, a knowledgeable party planner designated for your group, birthday cup-cakes, an optional lunch and VIP seating at one of our two live shows. Every birth-day boy and girl gets a photo opportunity with our realistic T-Rex and a special hat to remember his or her incredible trip back in time. All guests receive a party fa-vor as a thank you for sharing this special day with your child.

The Jewish Center of Teaneck800 Broad Street, Teaneck, NJ201-833-0515 ext. 205www.jcot.orgThe JCT Fitness Program provides fun gym or swim parties for all occasions. Celebrate a birthday, a bar or bat mitz-vah, graduation or any other special event with a memorable or unique party. Parties take place in the JCT full-sized, heated indoor pool or sports basketball court and private party room.

Ice Vault10 Nevins Drive, Wayne NJ973-628-1500www.icevault.comThe Ice Vault offers three fun-filled party packages. All parties include private par-ty room, Carvel ice cream cake, food, soft

drinks, invitations and an off ice party attendant.

Medieval Times Dinner and Tournament149 Polito Ave, Lyndhurst, NJ866-543-9637www.medievaltimes.comThis dinner theater venue in Lyndhurst is a rollicking, jousting good time that takes its audience back to the days of King Ar-thurs Court. Offering several different packages. Kosher meals available.

Monster Mini Golf49 East Midland Ave., Paramus, NJ201-261-0032www.monsterminigolf.comThe private party room, once reserved, is for 1 hour and 30 minutes, followed by 18 holes of Monster Mini Golf.

Tappan Golf Center116 Route 303Tappan, NY 10983845-359-0642www.clostergolfcenter.comHave fun with mini-golf, go-karts and bat-ting cages. Ask for Dorothy for details on how to make the perfect party.

Birthday Bashes continued on p19

9About our Ch i ldren MAY 2014

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Summer Camp that Makes Judaism Meaningful and Fun

Y V E T T E A LT M I L L E R

Of all the things we do as a family each year, sending our children to Jewish summer camp is one

of the most meaningful. It bolsters our childrens Jewish identities, strengthens our familys bonds, and helps all of us to enjoy our Jewish life more. Not everyone feels the way we do about Jewish camp, but I thought it worthwhile to comment on a few myths Ive heard about the Jew-ish summer camp experience, and share the reality weve experienced.

Myth #1I want my kids to enjoy summer, not have to learn about religion.

A lot of children spend long hours each year in Sunday or Hebrew school, or with a bar- or bat-mitzvah tutor. Shouldnt summer give them a break from all that studying?

The beauty of Jewish summer camps, of course, is that they make Jew-ish life fun. In fact, for many children Jewish summer camp is the one time all year when being Jewish is a joy, not a burden.

When youre with a group of young-sters and counselors, all singing along to beautiful Jewish songs together, it creates a magical Jewish experience that has nothing to do with studying or tutors. When children do fun crafts to-gether that have a Jewish theme, theyre learning about their religion in a fresh, new and non-threatening way.

Summer camp is also a chance for

youngsters to try out fun aspects of Ju-daism that they might not get to at home. Most Jewish camps have some sort of Shabbat celebration, for example. Even if your own family doesnt always do Shabbat, summer camp provides chil-dren with the chance to celebrate Shab-bat more fully, along with their friends and counselors, in a fun way.

Sometimes children even bring home what theyve learned at camp like a new Shabbat song and teach the rest of the family. My own children learn a lot of traditional Jewish stories at their Jewish camp, and I always enjoy hearing them when my children come home. Its a chance to bring a fun new side of Juda-ism into our family each summer.

Myth #2Jewish summer camp is too expensive.

This is another complaint I hear a lot, and theres no one answer. Certainly, the costs of Jewish summer camps vary widely. My own childrens Jewish camp is cheap relative to others in the area, but I know of others that offer a Cadil-lac camp service: very fancy, but very expensive.

Luckily, there are a number of com-munity initiatives that help to cover the cost of Jewish camp, particularly for children who havent attended Jewish camp before. One place to start looking (in the United States) is your local Jew-ish Federation (www.ujc.org). Indepen-dent programs like the PJ Library (www.

pjlibrary.org) and One Happy Camper (www.onehappycamper.org) also offer help with camp costs.

Another option, if you can, is to talk with grandparents or great grandpar-ents. Many grandparents would love to help enhance their grandchildrens Jew-ish experiences, and some might be will-ing to help contribute to their grandchil-drens Jewish camp costs.

Finally, one option for older children might be to look into being a junior or a regular camp counselor at a camp for younger kids. At my own childrens camp, for instance, a group of teenagers helps the younger ones with activities

(swimming, going to amusement parks, crafts, putting on plays, etc.). The coun-selors get to have a fun summer outside, with the obvious benefi t of being paid to enjoy the camp experience, rather than paying.

Myth #3Jewish summer camp sounds nice, but my kids are really interested in soccer (or baseball, or space, etc.).

Many of my friends children have passions for extracurricular activities that they love to indulge during the sum-

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OurChildrenAbout

About our Ch i ldren MAY 2014

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10

mer. But this doesnt mean that theres no room for Jew-ish camp, too.

One option is to combine sessions: Spend half the

summer at space camp, and the other half at Jewish camp.Look into Jewish camps, though, and the range of

activities they provide might surprise you. Theatre, music, swimming, and sports: these are all common at Jewish camps, but often more esoteric activities such

as gymnastics, rocket building, computers and ballet are part of Jewish camp schedules, too.

Take a look at some nearby Jewish camps. Talk to kids whove attended them if you can, or browse the Internet. The number of Jewish camps is growing year by year, and there truly is something for everyone.

Finally, take a moment to think of what your kids will gain from Jewish camp, even if going means they cant indulge their every specific hobby. Children often outgrow particular interests and activities, but they never outgrow being Jewish. Giving children the gift of Jewish summer camp means giving Jewish memories and knowledge that will never leave them, and will en-rich their whole Jewish lives.

Myth #4Jewish summer camp isnt for us because were just not that religious.

Jewish summer camp gives youngsters from all sorts of homes from the most secular to the most reli-gious the chance to forge their own Jewish identities.

Away from their homes and parents, kids find new Jewish friends and role models. In a Jewish camp, its normal to be Jewish, and fun too. Small wonder that many kids find that Jewish summer camp is a welcome break: a chance each year to live and grow fully in their Jewish identities. The results pay off. Jews who attend-ed Jewish camp are more likely to marry other Jews as adults, more likely to belong to a synagogue, to donate money to Jewish causes and to identify with Israel.

Reprinted with permission of Aish.com.

Summer Camp continued

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ABOUT OUR CH I LDREN MAY 2014 11

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Bnai mitzvah

NATHAN BARCUSNathan Barcus, son of daugh-ter of Janet and David Barcus of Woodcliff Lake and brother of Sophie, 15, and Gillian, 8, celebrated becoming a bar mitzvah on April 5 at Temple Emanuel of the Pascack Valley in Woodcliff Lake.

JUSTIN BECKERJustin Becker, son of Shari and Daniel Becker of Wyckoff and brother of Zachary and Matthew, celebrated becom-ing a bar mitzvah on March 29 at Temple Beth Rishon in Wyckoff.

ELYSE BELLElyse Bell, daughter of Lynda LiVecchi-Bell and Jeffrey Bell of Hillsdale and sister of Jacob, celebrated becom-ing a bat mitzvah on March 29 at Temple Beth Or in Washington Township.

HANNAH DELLA FAVEHannah Della Fave, daughter of Geri and Paul Della Fave of Franklin Lakes, and sister of Sarah, celebrated becom-ing a bat mitzvah on March 22 at Temple Beth Rishon in Wyckoff.

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DYLAN DISTELLDylan Distell, son of Stacey and Gary Distell of Cresskill, celebrated becoming a bar mitzvah at Temple Sinai of Bergen County in Tenafl y on March 29. He is the twin brother of Ryan and older brother of sister, Sami, 10. He is the grandson of Susan

Wax, Rochelle and Donald Greenbaum, and Stephen and Judith Distell.

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RYAN DISTELLRyan Distell, son of Stacey and Gary Distell of Cresskill, celebrated becoming a bar mitzvah at Temple Sinai of Bergen County in Tenafl y on March 29. He is the twin brother of Dylan and older brother of sister, Sami, 10. He is the grandson of Susan Wax, Rochelle and Donald Greenbaum, and Stephen and Judith Distell.

MATTHEW FISHMANMatthew Jacob Fishman, son of Pamela and Simon Fishman of Oakland and brother of Joshua, celebrated becoming a bar mitzvah on April 12 at Temple Beth Rishon in Wyckoff.

AMY GERSHBERGAmy Gershberg, daughter of Merrill and Barry Gershberg of Woodcliff Lake, and sis-ter of Charlotte, celebrated becoming a bat mitzvah on March 22 at Temple Beth Or in Washington Township.

LILY GREENBERGLily Greenberg, daughter of Abbe Seidman of Teaneck and Eric Greenberg of Teaneck and sister of Maya and Russell, celebrated becoming a bat mitzvah on April 12 at Temple Emeth in Teaneck.

ANNA KASMANOFFAnna Kasmanoff, daughter of Caryn and Sam Kasmanoff

of Wyckoff and sister of Nathan and Noah, celebrated becoming a bat mitzvah on March 22 at Temple Beth Rishon in Wyckoff. Her grandparents are the late Harriet and Marvin Paul of North Woodmere, N.Y., and the late Trudy and Norman Kasmanoff of West Orange.

JARED LAWRENCEJared Lawrence, son of Mala Lawrence of River Vale and Keith Lawrence of Hillsdale and brother of Alexis, cele-brated becoming a bar mitz-vah on April 12 at Temple Beth Or in Washington Township.

JARED LIPSKYJared Lipsky, son of Danielle and David Lipsky of Glen Rock, celebrated becom-ing a bar mitzvah on April 5 at Temple Israel and Jewish Community Center in Ridgewood.

EMILY LOMBERGEmily Lomberg, daughter of Linda and Paul Lomberg of Wyckoff, and sister of Perri, celebrated becoming a bat mitzvah on April 5 at Temple Beth Rishon in Wyckoff.

ALEXA MILLERAlexa Miller, daughter of

Karen and Scott Miller of Tenafl y and sister of Emma, celebrated becoming a bat mitzvah on April 5 at Temple Sinai of Bergen County in Tenafl y. As a mitzvah proj-ect, Alexa has been working with local libraries to donate American Girl dolls so that children can lend them out just like books. She has been collecting gently used dolls (and donations to purchase new dolls) and is organizing tea parties and other fun events for local children.

ALYSSA MUSARRAAlyssa Musarra, daughter of Liza and James Musarra of Paramus and sister of Julie, celebrated becom-ing a bat mitzvah on April 12 at Temple Beth Or in Washington Township.

SHELBY PEARLMANShelby Pearlman, daughter of Deborah and Joffrey Pearlman of Woodcliff Lake and sister of Kyle, 15, and Alexis, 18, celebrated becoming a bat mitzvah on April 12 at Temple Emanuel of the Pascack Valley in Woodcliff Lake.

EVAN RUDOLFEvan Rudolf, son of Cindy and Howard Rudolf of Fair

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Lawn, celebrated becoming a bar mitzvah on April 5 at the Fair Lawn Jewish Center/Congregation Bnai Israel.

OLIVIA SCHAPIROOlivia Schapiro, daughter of Rachel and Daniel Schapiro of Ridgewood and sister of Zoe, celebrated becoming a bat mitzvah on April 5 at Temple Beth Or in Washington Township.

SARAH STEINBERGSarah Steinberg, daugh-ter of Jamie and George Steinberg of Westwood and sister of Rachel, celebrated becoming a bat mitzvah on April 5 at Temple Beth Or in Washington Township.

MAXWELL URIBEMaxwell Uribe, son of Debra and George Uribe of Woodcliff Lake and twin brother of Olivia, celebrated becoming a bar mitzvah on March 22 at Temple Emanuel of the Pascack Valley in Woodcliff Lake.

OLIVIA URIBEOlivia Uribe, daughter of Debra and George Uribe of Woodcliff Lake, and twin sister of Maxwell, celebrated becoming a bat mitzvah on March 22 at Temple Emanuel of the Pascack Valley in Woodcliff Lake.

MADISON YORMARKMadison Yormark, daughter of Amy and Brett Yormark of Franklin Lakes and sister of Drake, celebrated becom-ing a bat mitzvah on April 5 at Temple Beth Rishon in Wyckoff.

JAKE ZAGEJake Zage, son of Marcie and Jeffrey Zage of Franklin Lakes and brother of Andrew, 23, and Brian, 20, celebrated becoming a March 29 at Barnert Temple in Franklin Lakes.

SAMANTHA ZAINTZSamantha Zaintz, daughter of Ellen and Glen Zaintz of Woodcliff Lake and sister of Charlotte, celebrated becom-ing a bat mitzvah on March 22 at Temple Beth Or in Washington Township.

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Blaming Barbie: Raising Daughters with Self-EsteemS LOV I E JU NG R E I S -WO L F F

Many have criticized Barbie for her super thin, impossible to achieve gure that has had a negative ef-fect on the way girls see their own bod-ies. Some have even connected Barbie dolls with eating disorders and girls poor body image.

Meet the Lammily Doll. Dreamed up by 25-year-old Pittsburgh artist Nickolay Lamm, this doll is being described as the Anti-Barbie. Lamm rst posted his rendi-tions of what Barbie would look like if she had an average 19-year-olds body. The difference between the two gures was eye opening and his post went viral. After getting tons of inquiries, Lamm de-cided to produce the more realistically proportioned doll. He raised more than $400,000 in 10 days, exceeding his goals. Lamm describes himself as a normal dude with a laptop who thinks we can use another option.

Lamm says that he had not thought about this issue until one day when he looked at Barbie and thought it looked weird. I can sometimes feel insecure; its hard for me to imagine what women have to go through. Theyre subjected to much higher beauty standards than men.

The motto of this new doll is Aver-age is Beautiful.

As much as I would like to believe that we are all in agreement when it comes to the awful pressure girls and women face with keeping up their body image, I do wonder how many parents out there would nd it easy to say my daughter is average and average is beautiful. We have somehow been con-ditioned to feel that our child must be special, amazing or awesome. And when it comes to our girls, there is an increas-ing focus on how they look and their physical shape being tied to this feeling of special. Who would proudly say, My daughter looks average?

How can we parents help our daugh-ters discover healthy self-esteem in this materialistic society that constantly stresses perfect beauty and size?

Your Daughters Self WorthWe are surrounded by media and fashion magazines that are obsessed with wom-ens looks. Magazines track the weight of celebrities. Ads are constantly telling us that we can look better if we would only use this new product. Airbrushing and Photoshop create distorted images that our girls aspire to become. And too often, movies, videos, reality TV shows,

and advertisements all portray women and girls in a demeaning manner. Body posture, exposed clothing and facial ex-pressions do not mirror a woman who lives with self-dignity and self-worth. Our girls have come to de ne beauty with impossible body measurements. Often they end up feeling that that they just dont measure up. Disregarding the cost to ones self-image, the heart and soul that lie within become easily ignored. The emphasis on the perfect pose creates a culture where it is hard to see beyond ones clothing or gure to realize the intrinsic value of a human being.

Too many feel that their self-esteem is connected to their bodies; they dont see the treasure that lies within.

While gauging themselves against these impossible standards, our girls have neglected to learn the meaning of true self-worth. Too many feel that their self-esteem is connected to their bodies; they dont see the treasure that lies within. Selfesteem comes when we value our internal beauty. Its not based on the size of our waist or how others think we look. One of the greatest life les-sons we can teach our daughters is that their self-worth is based on the unique role they play in this universe of ours. Looks can come and go. Attractiveness is based on the perceptions of others and has nothing to do with greatness of character or effort to accomplish and create goodness. Instead of focusing on fashion and gures, we must teach our daughters to ask themselves these questions: What have I done to make a difference in this world? What is

my mission? How have I brought love to the people in my life? What is my spe-cial ngerprint that will one day become my personal legacy? This is about the identity of our young girls, our tweens and teens knowing who they are beyond their outward appearance.

No one can ever negate the acts of kindness you have accomplished, the efforts you have exerted, or the feeling of success after picking yourself up and trying once again. Sadly, we nd weekly stories about celebrities and society women who seem to have had it all fashion, beauty, gorgeous homes, and an incredible social life yet a void remains and they end up destroying their lives. Something is missing. It is the inherent belief that I count. I am vital. I am here for a higher purpose. This is the de ni-tion of true self-worth.

Girls who possess high self-esteem are bold and fearless in their beliefs. They are not afraid to express them-selves or to side with those who are not the it girls. They possess a serene con dence, a spirit that goes beyond a name brand jacket or pair of expensive boots. Independent of other peoples perceptions, girls with high self-esteem feel secure. These girls see themselves as a positive force in this world, and no

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The Lammily Doll

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Role Modeling Our Way to Teaching Children to be Happy

Ad i nA S o c lo f

Happiness has become a na-tional preoccupation. Will the latest, greatest iGadget make our children happy? The biggest birthday bash? The most expensive gym shoes?

Of course we want our to be children happy. The question is how do we give our children the gift of authentic happiness, hap-piness that is internal, the kind of happiness that lasts after the boredom from the iGadget sets in, the partys over and the gym shoes get worn out?

The essential factor wheth-er or not you will live a happy life is not based so much on external factors such as wealth success or fame but on your attitude towards life, to-wards yourself, towards other people and towards events and situations, says Rabbi Zelig Pliskin, author of several books on happiness.

So how do we teach this attitude to our children?

1. Role modeling:In Martin Seligmans book, The Optimistic Child, Seligman states the importance of children having good role models. He feels that parents who are optimistic are more likely to have children who are optimistic. An optimistic mindset is key to dealing with adversity in life. Being able to deal with adversity in positive ways is one of the keys to true happiness.

Children are watching our every move, so when parents deal with adversity in positive healthy and flex-ible ways are actually using their behavior (often un-knowingly) to teach children these very skills.

Seligman suggests that we should be more con-scious about it and talk out loud, where our children can hear us, about our thought process as we deal with our everyday problems.

For example, lets say the washing machine re-pairman is late in coming and you need to leave to a doctors appointment, you can say in earshot of your children:

This is a really big problem. I have this doctor ap-pointment, and the repairman was supposed to be here already. I have a few options. I can call Grandma and see if she could let the repairman in. I could reschedule the repairman, but I really need the washing machine repaired. I could reschedule my doctor appointment, but thats pretty important too. Let me start by calling Grandma and then I will work from there.

Speaking in this way gives children a clear picture of positive thought processes that help us handle our everyday stresses.

2. Its not going to last forever:Another key to happiness, according to Seligman, is un-derstanding that our problems are usually temporary. Thinking our problems are permanent and insurmount-able can breed hopelessness and despair.

People who feel their problems are generally transi-tory, will have an easier time believing that they have the resources to cope with whatever comes there way.

For example, if you did not get the job you want-

ed, do you tell yourself, I cant believe it. Something must be wrong with me. I will never get any good jobs?

Or do you think that it is temporary, and think, Thats too bad. I am pretty upset but Im not going to let this get me down. Im going to brush up on my interviewing skills and make some more phone calls starting tomorrow.

How do we teach this con-cept to our children? Again, the best way is by role modeling and talking out loud about your thought processes:

Gosh, I cant believe my computer crashed again. This

is crazy! I have to remember that I can get it fixed and this problem is not going to last forever. If I keep that in mind, I can think clearly and do what I need to do to come up with a solution to this problem.

3. Embrace bad moods and let children be sad:I was meeting with the director of a prestigious pre-school. We were discussing the content of the parent-ing workshops I would be presenting. I asked her, What is the most important problem your parents have with their kids? She said, Its not so much that they have problems with their kids, its that they want a quick fix, they dont know how to just leave their kids alone and let them be sad when theyre sad, and that their job is not to make their kids happy all the time. They need to stop micromanaging their kids feelings.

Its true. As parents we think a childs mood reflects our ability to parent effectively. A happy kid equals good parents, an unhappy kid equals bad parents. When we work from this baseline our childrens angry moods become unbearable. We cannot stand to see our children distressed or disheartened.

Our job is not to make our kids happy all the time. Instead we need to remember that all people have low states and high states, good moods and bad moods. It is part of the human condition. Our job as parents is not to make our children happy all the time but to teach children ways to help themselves manage the in-evitable ups and downs of life. They need to learn not to sweat the small stuff through trial and error.

Children need to find their own ways to deal with lifes bumps, and to pursue happiness and satisfaction in life. It is a very personal journey. Pushing children to be happy and not letting them be sad robs them of that opportunity.

It is more helpful if we empathize and name their feelings and then leave them alone.

Boy you look kind of down. Looks like you had a rough day. That could be tough. Not getting the toy that you want can make you feel pretty sad. I can see how disappointed you are

Just having someone understand your feelings can be all the help you need.

Adina Soclof, is the director of Parent Outreach for A+ Solutions, facilitating How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk workshops as well as workshops based on Siblings Without Rivalry. Visit her at www.parentingsimply.com

OurChildrenAbout

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Autism Awarenessfor Every Month of the Year

H E I D I M A E B RAT T

In order to highlight the growing need for concern and awareness about au-tism, the Autism Society has marked April as National Autism Awareness Month since the 1970s. But every day is an opportunity to educate the public about autism and issues within the autism community. About Our Children turned to Dr. Lisa Nalven, director of Developmen-tal Pediatrics and Director of Adoption Screening and Evaluation Program at the Kireker Center for Child Development at Valley Hospital, for her expertise and in-formation on the matter.

Q: What is autism?A: Dr. Lisa Nalven: Autism is a disor-

der of brain development and function that usually presents in the toddler and preschool years, although in mild cases, the symptoms may not be obvious until school age, when increasing demands are placed on the child. Autism is a label that is used to describe a recognized pattern of atypical behaviors. Individuals with autism have a range of dif culties in the areas of communication (use and under-standing of language), socialization (inter-acting with others) and behaviors (play skills, atypical behaviors, sensitivities). In many cases there is a delay in skill, but the de ning feature is an abnormal or atypi-cal quality to how a child speaks, plays, and interacts with others. Pragmatics, the social rules or the how of commu-nication, is a primary area of dif culty. A child will have dif culties knowing how close to stand to someone, modulate eye contact, take turns in a conversation or during play.

Q: Who is at risk for autism?A: The most recent statistics released

by the CDC (Centers for Disease Control) for the year 2010 report that the preva-lence of autism in the United States in 1 in 68 children ages 8 years of age, but the prevalence can vary greatly depending on geographic location, gender, and level of severity. This represents a signi cant increase over the rates in 2008 and the reasons remain unclear. We know that we are identifying more children with milder cases of autism than in the past. In some cases, families are moving to areas that are known to provide good services, but overall there seems to be a true increase in the number of cases. Siblings of chil-dren with a diagnosis are at increased risk for the diagnosis due to an underlying ge-netic factor, with a recurrence risk of ap-proximately 18 percent. Other situations that are associated with an increased risk for being diagnosed with autism include older parental age, premature birth and certain medications if used during preg-

nancy (e.g. Valproate). In addition, certain medical/genetic conditions are associ-ated with higher rates of autism such as Fragile X, Down syndrome, tuberous scle-rosis. The exact cause of autism remains unclear, but genetic and other prenatal factors with the possibility of environ-mental triggers which turn on/off autism related genes continue to be researched.

Q: What does being on the autism spectrum mean?

A: The DSM 5 (Diagnostic and Statis-tical Manual 5th Edition) was released in May 2013 and rede ned the criteria for an individual being diagnosed as having an autism spectrum disorder (ASD). In the prior edition of the DSM, there was a category of disorders called Pervasive Developmental Disorders which included three subtypes: autism, Aspergers syn-drome, and pervasive developmental dis-order-not otherwise speci ed (PDD-NOS). These subtypes represented differences in the severity of symptoms, with autism being the most severe, PDD-NOS repre-senting milder symptoms, and Aspergers identifying a group of individuals with normal intelligence but atypical behav-ioral pro les. With the DSM 5, the range of symptoms and severity all come under one diagnosis called Autism Spectrum Disorder, and symptoms are described as being mild, moderate or severe and the prior subtypes no longer exist.

Q: What are the signs and symptoms of autism and how and when do they present?

A: According to the DSM 5 there are two major domains that are affected in individuals with autism: social commu-nication and a pattern of repetitive and/or atypical behaviors. Research indicates, that in some cases, signs of autism can be detected as early as one year of age, but may be subtle and therefore may not be noticed until a child is a bit older and does not meet expected developmental milestones during the toddler and pre-school years. There is also a group of children who are reported to exhibit nor-mal early development, but somewhere around 15 to 18 months exhibit a regres-sion or loss of skills, particularly in the area of language and social engagement. Early signs of social communication de -cits that raise the concern for autism include, poor eye contact, limited or un-usual language, absence of pointing to draw parents attention to something or to indicate wants. The absence of joint attention which involves reciprocal play (playing catch with a ball) and a prefer-ence for solitary or parallel play in an old-er child. Older children may have extreme reactions if they are not rst in line, or if they lose at a game. In mild cases, a

child may seem shy or socially awkward. Atypical language patterns may also de-velop such as echolalia (repeating some or part of what someone else has said), scripting (repeating lines from TV shows, books), or a tendency to label without us-ing language to communicate. Atypical behaviors may include lining up objects, repetitive play, hand apping, walking on toes, sensory issues such as an aver-sion to certain textures, sounds or high pain tolerance; extreme pickiness with regard to foods based on color, texture or smell. Overfocus on shapes, colors, numbers, letters may be seen in toddlers. In older children, excessive preoccupa-tion and knowledge about certain topics may emerge (Thomas the Train, cars, di-nosaurs, geography, presidents). http://www. rstsigns.org/ It is important to rec-ognize that there are other disorders that may have overlapping symptoms with au-tism but still need to be identi ed as they also require intervention (i.e., hearing or vision loss, or language delay in combina-tion with anxiety.)

Q: Traditionally, what is the treat-ment for autism?

A: There are many advertised in-terventions, but we focus on those that are evidence based and con rmed to be effective by well-done research. ABA or applied behavior analysis has been shown to be a highly effective teaching strategy, which starts by breaking tasks/skills down into smaller steps and reward

each attempt made by the child to do the skill. Behavioral approaches can also be used to reduce unwanted behaviors. As a childs skills develop, the approach ex-pands and becomes more complex. The Early Start Denver Model combines ABA with developmental approaches, such as speech, occupational therapy and has been shown to have a signi cant impact. For older children, the development of approach social skills (particularly inter-acting with peers under different situa-tions) becomes important, and there are social skills curriculums (e.g. Carol Gray Social Stories) available. The focus of in-tervention is social engagement and the explicit teaching of skills, which the chil-dren are not learning on their own (inci-dental learning). There has been a fair bit of press regarding the role of immuniza-tion, gluten, dairy, heavy metals, vitamin de ciencys as causes for autism. To date, none of these have been proven, yet there are people who promote treatments di-rected at these causes. There are children who truly have food allergies, and other issues that may make them uncomfort-able or irritable and thus make their be-havior worse, but this is different that be-ing the cause of autism.

Q: What sorts of intervention are helpful and useful? When should a parent begin intervention?

A: Focusing on engaging a child as soon as a diagnosis has been made has been shown to have a signi cant impact

SPECIAL NEEDS


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on changing a childs developmental tra-jectory. 20 years ago, we did not provide intensive early intervention and children were left to their own course and many become less engaged and did not develop skills to be independent. With interven-tion, we are seeing more children enter-ing mainstream classes, have less severe symptoms with skills development and having much more successful outcomes. However, there are children, that despite the best available intervention, who con-tinue to have signi cant dif culties. In New Jersey, if you have concerns about any aspect of your childs development, the following resources are available for an initial evaluation and intervention ser-vices for children who qualify:

1: For children under the age of 3 years can be obtained by calling Early In-tervention/Special Child Health Services at 888-653-4463.

2. For children ages 3 years t and old-er, the Child Study Team can be contacted through your school districts board of education of ce.

Autism Starts Here: What Families Need to Know is an excellent resources that can be down loaded for free from Autism New Jerseys website http://www.autismnj.org/document.doc?id=23) This publication summarizes early signs, diag-nosis, interventions, and resources

Q: Are there any cutting edge treat-ments that are on the horizon for autism?

A: Current research is looking at medications that target speci c receptors in the brain that are responsible for neu-ron development and function. The role of autoimmune functions is also being explored. Ongoing research uses highly specialized imaging studies of the brain that look at microarchitecture and brain function during different activities are helping to understand which parts of the brain are developing and working differ-ently. Identifying speci c genes and gene combinations that play a role in the devel-opment of autism is also an active area of research.

Q: What is the role of a developmen-tal pediatrician and when should a parent

seek out such a specialist?A: Developmental pediatricians re-

ceive their initial training in general pedi-atrics and then additional training in de-velopmental/behavioral pediatrics and/or neurodevelopmental disabilities and are board certi ed physicians in these area of specialty. (certi cation status can be checked at www.abp.org) Develop-mental Pediatricians evaluate children who either demonstrate developmental differences (such as a child with autism) or who at risk for developmental issues because of their prior history (e.g., pre-mature birth, diagnosis of Down Syn-drome) Developmental Pediatricians can be consulted any time there is a concern about a childs development. As part of the consultation, the physician will evaluate the childs entire developmental pro le in order to determine the childs strengths and weaknesses. Is there only language delay or are there other con-cerns, such as atypical behaviors that are seen in autism? Does the child have low muscle tone or other motor abnormali-

ties consistent with cerebral palsy and therefore is exhibit delays in mastering motor skills? Other area of expertise in-clude diagnosing learning disabilities or ADHD in a school age child, intellectual disabilities, and syndromes that impact a childs development. Once there is an understanding of what the childs devel-opmental/behavioral issues, the next step is trying to determine if there is an identi able cause for the childs dif cul-ties. Further evaluations may include vi-sion and hearing evaluations, blood work including genetic tests, and in some cases and MRI of the brain or other specialized studies. The physician may also recom-mend more detailed testing of skills by an occupational therapist, speech/language therapist, school psychologist or other professionals. In addition, making recom-mendations for the types of therapeutic and educational interventions is key as is monitoring the childs progress and helping families to identify appropriate resources in the community that will sup-port their childs development.

Autism Awarenessfor Every Month of the Year

each attempt made by the child to do the skill. Behavioral approaches can also be used to reduce unwanted behaviors. As a childs skills develop, the approach ex-pands and becomes more complex. The Early Start Denver Model combines ABA with developmental approaches, such as speech, occupational therapy and has been shown to have a signi cant impact. For older children, the development of approach social skills (particularly inter-acting with peers under different situa-tions) becomes important, and there are social skills curriculums (e.g. Carol Gray Social Stories) available. The focus of in-tervention is social engagement and the explicit teaching of skills, which the chil-dren are not learning on their own (inci-dental learning). There has been a fair bit of press regarding the role of immuniza-tion, gluten, dairy, heavy metals, vitamin de ciencys as causes for autism. To date, none of these have been proven, yet there are people who promote treatments di-rected at these causes. There are children who truly have food allergies, and other issues that may make them uncomfort-able or irritable and thus make their be-havior worse, but this is different that be-ing the cause of autism.

Q: What sorts of intervention are helpful and useful? When should a parent begin intervention?

A: Focusing on engaging a child as soon as a diagnosis has been made has been shown to have a signi cant impact

SPECIAL NEEDS

How to Know if You Need to Go to the Emergency Room

Children fall down, scrape their knees, catch viruses, and run fevers all the time. So can you distinguish a minor injury or illness from a true medical emergency that warrants a trip to the emergency room?

A lot depends on how your child looks and behaves, says Dr. John McG-real, pediatric emergency medicine physi-cian at The Valley Hospital Bolger Emer-gency Departments pediatric ER.

For example, Is she drinking and act-ing like her happy, lively self? Is he run-ning around? Or, is she listless, grumpy, and refusing to drink? Is he out of breath, moping, and sitting on the couch? he asks.

Common medical emergencies in-clude high fevers, ingestion of a foreign object or poison, and broken bones.

If your baby is newborn to 3 months old and has a rectal temperature of 100.4 degrees or above, contact your pediatri-cian or come to the ER for an evaluation. For children older than 3 months, the de-gree of the fever tends to be less impor-tant than the childs general appearance.

See if your child will take some sips of water or other liquid that does not con-tain sugar, says McGreal. Seek medical care if your child is also vomiting and ex-periencing persistent diarrhea, because children can become dehydrated very quickly.

Refrain from offering anything to eat or drink if your child has ingested a for-eign object, such as a button, screw, or coin; adult medications; too much of any kind of medication (even a small overdose of acetaminophen can result in liver dam-age); or a liquid that could be poisonous.

If you have an old bottle of syrup of ipecac in your medicine cabinet, throw it

out, says Peter Lee, M.D., director of Val-leys pediatric ER, of the liquid that was once prescribed to induce vomiting. Do not try to get the child to throw anything up. Call the Poison Control Center hotline at 1-800-222-1222, contact your pediatri-cian, or jump in the car and get to the ER.

Bone and joint injuries can be hard for parents to evaluate and may require an exam by an ER doctor or orthopedist.

Because childrens bones continue to grow until they are about 17 years old and are more exible than adult bones, an injury that appears minor in a child can actually be major, says McGreal. The only sure way to know if a bone is broken is to evaluate it clinically and on an X-ray.

If a child can bear weight on an in-jured leg or use an injured arm, rest and putting ice on the injured area are rea-sonable rst-aid measures, notes Dr. Lee. However, if the pain persists, or the child cant bear weight on the extremity, or the injured area swells quickly and signi -cantly, its time to seek medical care, he adds.

Should you hold off giving your sick child medication to ease the pain or fever until you get to an ER?

No, says McGreal. One dose of acetaminophen or ibuprofen to help the child become more comfortable will not affect the childs treatment in most cases, unless surgery is required.

All head injuries should be reported to your pediatrician, say Drs. Lee and Mc-Greal. Loss of consciousness, vomiting, and trouble walking are three sure signs that your childs head injury requires a physicians evaluation. Close observa-tion is imperative, of course. If you are unsure of what to do, contact your childs pediatrician.

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1. Nineteen students from The Elisabeth Morrow School (EMS) won regional awards in the 2014 Scholastic Art and Writing competition. Each year, more than 250,000 art and writing pieces are submitted by seventh through twelfth grade students across the country, Canada, and U.S. schools abroad. EMS students won with three art and 16 writing submissions, and one of the four regional Gold Key award winners, Claire Fink of Cresskill, New Jersey, won a National Gold Medal for her personal essay/memoir Braving Fear. Historically, the national gold medal winners represent the top 1 percent of entries.

2. Ben Porat Yosef third graders visited the New York Botanical Gardens on Wednesday, April 9th, in conjunction with their study of desert and rain forest plant adaptations. The students were guided by Ben Porat Yosefs science specialist, Jean Myers.

3. Jordana Braverman and Alison Stiel, residents of West Orange, currently studying at Midreshet AMIT in Jerusalem, recently participated in the Jerusalem Marathon. Jordana and Alison were members of Team AMIT, which raised more than $16,000 for the children of AMIT Frisch Beit Hayeled. Beit Hayeled, located in the Gilo section of

Jerusalem, is a home to 110 children, ages 5 to 15, in foster care. The young women who attend Midreshet AMIT, which is a post high school program, live on the Beit Hayeled campus. They both engage in advanced Judaic studies and serve as big sisters to the children living at Beit Hayeled.

4. Lubavitch on the Palisades Elementary School Science Day was a big hit. Students were assigned groups and stations based on interest and ability. There were 9 stations set up around the elementary school and students were able to visit four stations. I liked science day because I learned things I never knew and I had fun. I liked the static electricity station the most. I learned that your hair can spike up when you walk with socks on a rug, said 3rd grader Ariel Hakimian.

5. Glen Rock Jewish Center Gimel students had a mock trip to Israel This photo imagines them on a plane to Israel. They would then experience customs, visiting a kibbutz, bargaining in the shuk and tasting Israeli foods. For information about Glen Rock Jewish Centers Hebrew School, contact officegrjc.org or 201-652-6624.

6. Glen Rock Jewish Center Hebrew Schools Daled Class Shtetl and Sephardic Jewish

Fair. Glen Rock Jewish Centers Daled class recreated the feeling of shtetl lifestyle and enjoyed delicious Eastern European and Sephardic foods on March 23.

7. Youngsters from the School of Dance at the Kaplen JCC on the Palisades in Tenafly entertained seniors at the Jewish Home Assisted Living in River Vale, recently. Eighteen girls, ages 6 to 13, performed a variety of jazz, hip hop and tap dances for the residents.

8. The Kitah Hey class at Temple Emanuels Religious School recently welcomed some residents of the Jewish Home Assisted Living in River Vale for a model Passover seder. The seder was led by teachers Beth Held and Amy Wolk. Rabbi Benjamin Shull also participated in the event. Pictured are the Hey students from Woodcliff Lake, Upper Saddle River, River Vale and their guests. A wonderful afternoon was enjoyed by all.

9. Ben Porat Yosef Kindergarten students learn experientially about how grapes must be squashed in order to make the grape juice for the four cups of grape juice that they will drink at the family seder on Pesach. Shown here, a group of children removed their shoes and socks and did their best squishing.

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COMP I L E D BY H E I D I M A E B RAT T

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Art Blossons at bergenPACCheck out the 11th Annual YCS Blossoms Art Exhibit, which has become a much-anticipated tradition at bergenPAC in Englewood. This years show, displaying the work of special needs students in grades K through 12 in Bergen, Hudson and Essex counties

Youth Consultation Services schools, promises to be diverse and inspirational. Much of the work includes Inca-inspired metal embossed masks, Impressionist painting, Peruvian and Tlingit-inspired weaving, Colonial American yarn dolls and more. The show will be on view during the month of May in the mezzanine. Bergen Performing Arts Center, 30 North Van Brunt St., Englewood.

Special Delivery: Best Baby Shower EverEnglewood Hospital and Medical Center is helping expectant moms prepare for baby by delivering a day of fun and education with The Best Baby Shower Ever, now in its 8th year. This popular and free event on May 10 offers complimentary consultations with board-certifi ed pediatricians and maternity staff, an opportunity to meet with top baby product vendors, special activities for dads-to-be, pre-natal fi tness demos, raffl es, giveaways, refreshments and more. Last years shower drew more than 200 participants. Saturday, May 10, 2 to 4 p.m. Englewood Hospital and Medical Center, The Ferolie Gallery, 350 Engle St., Englewood. 866-980-34-62, www.englewood-hospital.com.

Sweets for the Sweetest: Mothers Day Chocolate ProgramWhat could be sweeter for mom than a mothers day chocolate program? Treat the mothers in your life to something delicious this year a chocolate tasting that features tasty tidbits and bite-sized facts about Jews and chocolate. The program fea-

tures Rabbi Deborah R. Prinz, author of On the Chocolate Trail: A Delicious Adventure Connecting Jews, Religions, History, Travel, Rituals to the Magic of Cacao. Sunday, May 11, 2:30 p.m. The Museum of Jewish Heritage: A Living Memorial to the Holocaust, Edmond J. Safra Plaza 36 Battery Place, New York, NY (646) 437-4202, www.mjhnyc.org.

Dinosaurs Wake Up Secaucus this Memorial DayGet ready for the Jersey Jurassic adventure as Field Station: Dinosaurs reopens to the public Memorial Day weekend for its third season. Families can enjoy 32 life-sized animatronic dinosaurs as well as interactive shows starring a 15-foot juvenile T-Rex, game shows to test your dinosaur knowledge, a dig site, the 3D movie Dinosaurs Alive! and other activi-ties throughout the day. There are also hands-on workshops, created with paleontologists and scientists at the New Jersey State Museum. Field Station: Dinosaurs 1 Dinosaur Way, Secaucus, 855-999-9010, www.fi eldstationdinosaurs.com.

Youth Consultation Services schools, promises to be diverse and inspirational. Much of the work includes Inca-inspired metal embossed masks, Impressionist painting, Peruvian and Tlingit-inspired weaving, Colonial American yarn dolls and more. The show will be on view during the month of May in the mezzanine. Performing Arts Center, Religions, History, Travel,

Rituals to the Magic of Cacao. Sunday, May 11, 2:30 p.m. of Jewish Heritage: A Living Memorial to the Holocaust, Edmond J. Safra Plaza 36 Battery Place, New York, NY (646) 437-4202, www.mjhnyc.org.

To Our Readers: To Our Readers: This calendar is a day-by-day schedule of events. Although all information is as timely as we can make it, its a good idea to call to verify details before you go.

To Add Your Event to Our CalendarSend it to:Calendar EditorAbout Our ChildrenNew Jersey/Rockland Jewish Media Group1086 Teaneck RoadTeaneck, NJ 0766 AboutOCaol.comor fax it to: 201-833-4959Deadline for Summer issue (published May 23):Tuesday, May 14

Saturday, April 26Teddy Bear Clinic: The Valley Hospital Volunteer Department is offering a free education for children ages 3 to 8 years old to learn through medical play, childrens crafts and tour an ambu-lance how things work. 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. The Valley Hospital Terrace. 201-447-8138, [email protected].

Sunday, April 27Open House: Temple Beth Tikvah, 950 Preakness Ave., Wayne, hosts open house 10:30 am to 12:30 p.m. Families with children pre-K to 3rd grade can stop by to learn what Temple Beth Tikvah and its Religious School have to offer. This event is free and open to the community. 973-628-5504.

Yom HaShoah at the JCC: Commemoration at 7 p.m. with keynote speaker Herbert Kolb, a sur-vivor of the Theresienstadt Concentration camp. Kaplen JCC on the Palisades, 411 E. Clinton Ave., Tenafl y. 201-408-1426.

Kids in Action: Chabad of Passaic County will hold its monthly program focusing on the fi ve senses and the eyes to see a good world. Join and visit Israel, make Israeli food and watch a fi lm about the countrys history. 1 to 2:30 p.m. $10 per child. The Chabad Center, 194 Ratzer Road, Wayne. 973-694-6274.

Monday, April 28Wear Your Pajamas Day: The Gerrard Berman Day School, Solomon Schechter of North Jersey invites children ages 3 to 5 to a Russian bedtime story hour and craft before bed. Springtime story in Russian and craft before bed. To register, Susan Scher, 201-337-1111, [email protected]. The Little Academies at GBDS, 45 Spruce St., Oakland.

Thursday, May 1Fancy Nancy Tea Party: Calling all Fancy Nancy fans! Kids K-3rd Grade are cordially invited to a Fancy Nancy Tea Party. At 3:30 p.m. Wear your best and well do the rest. RSVP by pre-register-ing in the Childrens Room. Johnson Public Library, 274 Main St., 201-343-4169 to pre-register.

Story Time in Closter: Temple Beth El invites nursery school-age children to story time with school director, Abbe Rosner, 4:30 p.m. Open to the community. RSVP [email protected] or 201-768- 3726. Temple Beth El 221 Schraalenburgh Road, Closter.

Friday, May 2Tot Shabbat in Closter: Temple Beth El hosts Tot Shabbat led by Rabbi David S. Widzer and Canter Rica Timman, which starts at 5:15 p.m. Tot Shabbat is open to all nursery school age children and features song, stories, and crafts. An optional Shabbat dinner follows at 5:45 pm. Open to everyone. 221 Schraalenburgh Road, Closter. RSVP for dinner, 201-768-5112.

Temple Emeth Family Worship: Shabbat ser-vices for the family starting at 7:30 p.m. Temple Emeth, 1666 Windsor Road, Teaneck. 201-833-1322, www.emeth.org.

Saturday, May 3Healthy Kids Day: The Wayne YMCA holds its 2nd annual event from 11 to 2 p.m. Free and open to the community. Activities include climb-ing wall, swim, zumba, gym games. There will be plenty of giveaways. The Y is located at 1 Pike Drive in Wayne.

Sunday, May 4Fit Run: Benefi t Rutgers Hillel Israel Advocacy with this Fit 5K run/Walk. Registration is ongoing. All proceeds for the run, which will take place in Buccleuch Park, New Brunswick, will go directly to funding Israel programming at Rutgers University Hillel. For information, Diana Diner at Rutgers Hillel, 732-545-2407, [email protected].

Randy Kaplan in Concert: Blending her American roots, Delta blues, ragtime and quirky lyrics, this musician entertains families at 2 p.m. at the Jewish Museum. Tickets, $18 adults, $13 per child. The Jewish Museum, 1109 Fifth Ave., Manhattan. 212-423-3337, www.thejewishmuseum.org.

Open House: Temple Avodat Shaloms Religious School will house an open house from 9:30 to 10:30 a.m. where parents and children will be able to observe classes for students age 3 to grade 12, meet the rabbis, cantor and teach-ers and see the synagogue. 120 Sylvan Ave., Englewood Cliffs, 201-947-6900, ext. 274.

Ghetto Tango: The National Yiddish Theater-Folksbiene presents Ghetto Tango with artistic director Zalmen Mlotek and singers Daniella Rabbani and Avram Mlotek. 2:30 p.m. $20, $15 museum and Folksbiene members. The Museum of Jewish Heritage: A Living Memorial to the Holoc

about our children, may 2014

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