VIETNAM NATIONAL UNIVERSITY, HANOI

UNIVERSITY OF LANGUAGES AND INTERNATIONAL STUIDES

FACULTY OF ENGLISH TEACHER EDUCATION

TÔ THỊ HUYỀN THƯƠNG

A VIETNAMESE- AMERICAN CROSS-CULTURAL

STUDY ON DATING ATTITUDES AMONG COLLEGE

STUDENTS

SUBMITTED IN PARTIAL FULFILLMENT OF THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THE DEGREE

OF BACHELOR OF ARTS (TEFL)

Hanoi, May – 2010

VIETNAM NATIONAL UNIVERSITY, HANOI

UNIVERSITY OF LANGUAGES AND INTERNATIONAL STUIDES

FACULTY OF ENGLISH TEACHER EDUCATION

TÔ THỊ HUYỀN THƯƠNG

A VIETNAMESE- AMERICAN CROSS- CULTURAL

STUDY ON DATING ATTITUDES AMONG COLLEGE

STUDENTS

SUBMITTED IN PARTIAL FULFILLMENT OF THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THE DEGREE

OF BACHELOR OF ARTS (TEFL)

SUPERVISOR: NGUYỄN THỊ THƠM THƠM, MA.

Hanoi, May – 2010

ACCEPTANCE PAGE

I hereby state that I: Tô Thị Huyền Thương, group 061E8, being a candidate

for the degree of Bachelor of Arts (TEFL) accept the requirements of the College

relating to the retention and use of Bachelor's Graduation Paper deposited in the

library.

In terms of these conditions, I agree that the origin of my paper deposited in

the library should be accessible for the purposes of study and research, in

accordance with the normal conditions established by the librarian for the care,

loan or reproduction of the paper.

Signature

Date

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I would like to express my sincere gratitude to a number of people without

whose encouragement, contribution, and cooperation, this study would not have

been fulfilled.

Firstly, I would like to send my deepest thanks to Ms. Nguyen Thi Thom

Thom MA, my supervisor for her whole-hearted support, valuable advice, and great

enthusiasm, which have helped me to accomplish this research.

Secondly, my heartfelt thankfulness also goes to my friend, Nguyen Thi Nhan, for

helping me enthusiastically deliver my survey questionnaire to her American

friends, which greatly contribute to the validity of collected data.

Thirdly, I also owe a favor to some of my friends, Jeremy Avery, Rebecca

Arnow, Jonathan Skinner, Alejandra Cordovez and James Fox for devotedly

answering my interview questions and generously contributing to the aptness of

the data collection instruments.

I also would like to give my special thanks to both Vietnamese and

international friends who spent their precious time completing my survey

questionnaire and giving me constructive ideas for my project.

Last but not least, I wish to express my profound gratefulness to my family,

without whose continuous support and unconditional love, I could not complete my

graduation paper.

ABSTRACT

The purpose of this study is to explore patterns of dating attitudes among

American and Vietnamese college students, which helps to compare and contrast

dating attitudes of students from two different cultures. Thanks to that, the

reflection of American and Vietnamese cultures in dating among students is

discussed.

The researcher analyzes data collected by using survey questionnaire from

32 students (16 males and 16 females) from each country and by employing semi-

structured interviews with 5 students from each culture.

The study presents typical dating attitudes of American and Vietnamese

students and gives deep insight into marked similarities and differences between

these two groups of students. Finally, the research discusses cultural reflection of

uncovered outcome.

By offering thorough understanding of dating attitudes among students from

two different cultures, the paper is expected to help students avoid conflicts or

breakdown of relationships which might be caused by cultural misunderstanding,

and then improve their communication skills.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Acknowledgements…………………………………………………………..i

Abstract………………………………………………………………………ii

Lists of charts………………………………………………………………...iii

CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTION

1.1. Statement of the problem and rationale for the study…………………..1

1.2. Aims and objectives of the study……………………………………….2

1.3. Significance of the study………………………………………………..2

1.4. Scope of the study………………………………………………………3

1.5. Methodology……………………………………………………………3

1.6. Organization of the study……………………………………………….4

CHAPTER 2: LITERATURE REVIEW

2.1. Definition of dating…………………………………………………….5

2.2. History of dating…………………...…………………………………...7

2.3. Dating as a part of relationship………………………………………...11

2.4. Typical features of dating ……………………………………………..12

2.4.1. Structures of dating………………………………………………...12

2.4.2. Functions of dating………………………………………………..12

2.4.3. Stages of dating……………………………………………………13

2.4.4. Types of dating……………………………………………………14

2.4.5 Purposes of dating………………………………………………..15

2.5. Review of related studies……………………………………………..17

2.5.1. Dating attitude in American culture…………………………….17

2.5.2. Dating attitude in Vietnamese culture………………………….19

CHAPER 3: METHODOLOGY

3.1. Participants and participant selection method………………………22

3.2. Data collection instruments…………………………………………22

3.2.1. The questionnaire……………………………………………….23

3.2.2 The interview…………………………………………………….23

3.3. Data collection procedures…………………………………………24

3.4. Data analysis procedures…………………………………………...24

CHAPTER 4: FINDINGS AND DISCUSSION

4.1. Vietnamese's responses…………………………………………….26

4.2. American's responses……………………………………………….41

4.3. Similarities and differences between Vietnamese

and American students' dating attitude………………………………….59

4.3.1. Similarities……………………………………………………….59

4.3.2. Differences……………………………………………………..61

CHAPTER 5: CONCLUSION

5.1. Summary of findings……………………………………………….71

5.1.1. Research question 1……………………………………………71

5.1.2. Research question 2……………………………………………73

5.1.3. Research question 3…………………………………………...73

5.2. Implication………………………………………………………...74

5.3. Limitation of the study……………………………………………76

5.4. Recommendation for further studies………………………………76

LISTS OF CHARTS

Chart 1.a. VNese students' attitudes towards dating a much older person than them

Chart 2.a. VNese students' attitudes towards dating a much younger person than

them

Chart 3.a. Best age to have first date in VNese students' attitudes

Chart 4.a. Strength to attract the opposite sex most in VNese students' attitudes

Chart 5.a. The most attractive feature of the opposite sex in VNese students'

attitudes

Chart 6.a. Best way to invite somebody out in VNese students' attitudes

Chart 7.a. VNese students' behavior when they like someone

Chart 8.a. VNese students' behavior when the person they like contacts them

Chart 9.a. VNese students' response to an invitation to a date

Chart 10.a. VNese students' behavior when their invitation to a date is refused

Chart 11.a. Best topic on dates in VNese students' attitudes

Chart 12.a. Punctuality on dates in VNese students' attitudes

Chart 13.a. Best dating place in VNese students' attitudes

Chart 14.a. Dating expense payment in VNese students' attitudes

Chart 15.a. VNese students' dating purposes

Chart 1.b. American students' attitudes towards dating a much older person than

them

Chart 2.b. American students' attitudes towards dating a much younger person than

them

Chart 3.b. Best age to have first date in American students' attitudes

Chart 4. b1. Strength to attract the opposite sex most in American female students'

attitudes

Chart 4.b2. Strength to attract the opposite sex most in American male students'

attitudes

Chart 5.b. The most attractive feature of the opposite sex in American students'

attitudes

Chart 6.b. Best way to invite somebody out in American students' attitudes

Chart 7.b. American students' behaviors when they like someone

Chart 8.b. American students' behavior when the person they like contacts them

Chart 9.b. American students' response to an invitation to a date

Chart 10.b. American students' behavior when their invitation to a date is refused

Chart 11.b. Best topic on dates in American students' attitudes

Chart 12.b. Punctuality on dates in American students' attitudes

Chart 13.b. Best dating place in American students' attitudes

Chart 14.b. Dating expense payer in American students' attitudes

Chart 15.b. Amerian students' dating purposes

Chart 16. The most atttractive feature of the opposite sex in VNese and American

female students' dating attitudes

Chart 17. Punctuality on dates in Vietnamese and American students' attitudes

Chart 18. Dating a much older person in VNese and American students' dating

attitudes

Chart 19. Best way to invite somebody out in VNese and American students' dating

attitudes

Chart 20. Best dating places in VNese and American male students' attitudes

Chart 21. Dating expense payer in VNese and American students' attitudes

Chart 22. Dating purposes of VNese and American female students

CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTION

1.1. Statement of the problem and rationale for the study:

Student lives involve a lot of socialization to broaden their friends’ network.

Some people are looking for someone to hang out with and date, some are looking

for more friends and others are seeking for a long term, serious relationship. Their

intentions vary among students. However, this paper only aims at studying dating

in college campus. As being widely understood, a date occurs when two persons

who are attracted to one another arrange to do something together and spend some

time interacting, to get better acquainted. College is one of the easiest periods of

time to meet potential dating partners. Indeed, many couples do find lasting

relationships and even marriage when they are in college. Therefore, it is obviously

important for students to know well about dating attitudes in college campus to

improve their relationships and make them flourish. Moreover, the time students

spend dating at college can help them realize what they need from a relationship

and they will no doubt learn valuable lessons from their experiences to create a

stable foundation for their future lives. Learning the opposite sex’s attitudes,

behaviors and expectations towards dating partners also helps students feel

confident and comfortable with their current relationships; hence, they can balance

studying with their social life well.

Decades ago, several studies on dating focused on functions, types, desired

characteristics of dating partners and premarital sex behavior. Dating functions

include recreation, companionship, mate selection and socialization (Knox, D., &

Wilson, K., 1981) whereas types of dating include playing the field, steady dating

and engagement (McDaniel, 1973). However, it is surprising that recently few

researchers have explored the attitudes of male and female students on college

campus. Added to that, the similarities and differences about dating among

different cultures also seem to be neglected although students studying abroad

should be aware of these things to lead a better student life in the target country.

Because of the necessity of knowing dating information among college students

and the lack of studies on these aspects of this issue, the present study on “A

Vietnamese- American cross-cultural study on dating attitudes among college

students” is carried out with the hope to supplement the previous related studies.

1.2. Aims and objectives of the study:

Generally speaking, this study is an attempt to not only help college students

understand more about their own viewpoint towards dating but also their dating

partners’ ways of thinking. Additionally, students from American and Vietnamese

culture can have a deeper look at an interesting aspect of culture and gain more

knowledge about this issue to enrich their communication skills. The researcher

also hopes that the study helps American students learning in Vietnam and vice

versa be able to avoid culture shock when it comes to dating.

To be clearer, objectives of the study are focused on the following research

questions:

1. What are attitudes of American and Vietnamese students in terms of dating

age, attraction, topics, contacting behaviors, punctuality on dates, dating

places, dating expense payment and dating purposes?

2. What are the similarities and differences of dating attitudes among American

and Vietnamese students?

3. What cultural factors affecting these differences can be drawn out?

1.3. Significance of the study

The study can show typical dating attitudes of two student groups from two

countries, and then provide discussion on cultural reflection of the revealed dating

attitudes. This research is expected to help students gain mutual understanding

among two genders so that they can not only improve their communication skills

but also strengthen relationships, especially relationships within campus. The study

also serves as an useful material for students studying abroad to get to know more

about common attitudes and behaviors in target country, since then they can adapt

themselves to new environment more easily. Moreover, the result of this paper can

be used as reference for cross-cultural communication classes and for future

related-studies.

1.4. Scope of the study

The researcher realizes that “dating attitudes” issue is not only extensive but

also complicated. Therefore, conducting it largely in participants and scale is

difficult and unpractical. Within the limited knowledge and the scope of a

graduation paper done by a fourth- year student, the researcher would like to find

outstanding attitudes given by two student groups- American and Vietnamese ones

and then discuss cultural factors affecting the revealed result. Some of participants

who are American students were approached at several tourist attractions around

Hanoi such as Museum of Ethnology, Temple of Literature and Sword Lake.

Others studying in US colleges and universities received the questionnaire via

email to overcome the obstacles caused by long geographical distance.

1.5. Methodology

With the purpose of collecting appropriate and reliable data for the paper,

these following instruments are employed:

Questionnaire: The author designs a survey questionnaire for American and

Vietnamese students to collect data for the research because this is an easy and

convenient way to get appropriate data; moreover, it is time-saving for both the

researcher and the informants.

Interview: A short interview is conducted with five students from each country to

get more information about the issue and some more explanations for their own

choice in the questionnaire.

Synthesizing and analyzing: The collected data is synthesized and analyzed using

charts in terms of Vietnamese’s responses and American’s responses. After that,

some marked similarities and differences are drawn out basing on previous results.

1.6. Organization of the study

The paper is organized into 5 chapters. Chapter 1 gives brief introduction of

the research, which includes of rationale, aims, scope, significance, method and

organization of the study. Chapter 2 provides theoretical background of the studied

issue and reviews previous related studies. Chapter 3 presents methods and the

procedure which the researcher follows to collect and analyze data. Chapter 4

offers findings of the research, discussion about these findings and draw

similarities and differences between two cultures as well as cultural factors leading

to the outcome. Chapter 5 summarizes main results of the research and gives

implication, limitation of the study and lastly, provides recommendations for

further studies. The last chapter is followed by references and appendices.

CHAPTER 2: LITERATURE REVIEW

2.1. Definition of dating

As commonly understood, dating is the time when two people want to know

more about each other and they begin to go out, join some activities together. This

is called a romantic relationship. However, not everybody can find out the right

person to build a deeper relationship after several first dating.

Dunham (2006, p.2) states that dating begins the moment somebody decides

that he/ she wants to find a romantic relationship with someone, followed by the

process of identifying that person. She also defines dating as specific activities that

someone carries out to find new people and the process of getting to know them.

Dating can consist of many emotions and feelings. One may experience the

feelings of anticipation or suspense when dating for the first time. This is easy to

understand because the attraction between two sexes never mitigate and often

involve curiousness.

From Dunham’s point of view, “however exciting and fun dating can be, it is

also process of personal selection”. We are judging others and they are judging us.

We cannot select everyone we meet as our special partner, so dating is also an

activity of elimination (moving on from those who we are not interested in and who

are not interested in us) as well as selection (finding mutual interest). Even when

we really fall for someone, somewhere in the dating process we may discover that

we are not right for each other. Uncertainty, disappointment, dissatisfaction and

sometimes sorrow can also partly involve in the process. But then there is the

moment when we realize we have met the person we want- the one we have been

dreaming of- and she/he feels the same about us. Dating gives us the opportunities

to experience our option until we find that special person.

Colmer, R.S. & Thomas, T.M. (2005, p.16) share the same idea with

Dunham in defining dating that a date is when two people gather for a certain

amount of time on a certain day (with advance notice and advance planning) for

the purpose of doing something special, together. Additionally, Colmer and

Thomas consider a way of saying thank you for a favor or a delicate step when

dancing in a courtship also a date. They emphasize that dating is all about

communication.

When it comes to the issue of dating, Rabens, S. (2001, p.59) defines it by

dividing dating into small processes chronologically. According to him, dating is

the social process by which two people meet, interact, and pair off as a couple. In

first steps, dating provides companionship, as well as a vehicle for entertainment

and recreation. Over the course of time, dating has become a social means for

individuals to learn more about themselves and how they are perceived by others,

who observes their strengths as well as weaknesses. Dating also teaches the

importance of sharing and enables individuals to experience love and sexual

activity within limits. Finally, dating is the process through which one may

ultimately select a marriage partner.

On the base of collected ideas from researchers and authors, the researcher

shares the common idea on the way dating is defined that dating involves different

steps to varied extents. The dating relationship experiences ups and downs over

periods of time two people spend together. More importantly, the author wants to

put the term “dating” used in this paper in the light of cross- cultural

communication. Dating is actually a means of communication and communication

during dating is what makes or breaks the relationship. Besides, it is undeniable

that dating attaches to traditions and customs. Dating represents a reflection of

cultural beliefs and practices. Different culture orientations may play a role in

shaping differences in dating attitudes. Therefore, some typical dating attitude of

college students from two different cultures will be surveyed to compare and

contrast the similarities and differences between American and Vietnamese points

of view. Finally, the results will help to draw out cultural factors affecting the

uncovered attitude.

2.2. History of dating

While some dating attitudes have remained fairly constant over time, others

have changed considerably. Firstly, the researcher would like to have a look dating

throughout American history.

Whyte, M. K. (1990, p. 17) analyzes changes of dating chronologically in 4

stages: the early 1990s, the twenties, world war II and the twenty- first century.

According to him, the United States at the turn of the 20th century was a

nation experiencing great change. Industrialization caused social changes, which

impacted teenagers' growth. New ideologies and traditions came. As a result,

attitude about such topics as dating and courtship, the concept of romantic love,

and gender issue was taken much consideration.

Whyte, M. K. (1990) also states that the 20th century was the turning point

because most American and European cultures set themselves free from rigid

Victorian attitude about sex. Victorianism reflected a time when sex was regarded

as a taboo. Many people avoided talking about sex and tried to pretend that sexual

desire did not exist.

After that, “Roaring twenties” was a bright and exciting decade in American

history. Great economic opportunity attracted millions of immigrants from abroad.

Americans saw an easier and better life ahead of them. They witnessed further

liberation from Victorian sexual limitation, and they experienced a revolution in

morals and manners. Women, in particular, achieved new level of autonomy and

freedom. Women's sexual rights were being increasingly recognized. The image of

the shy, dependent, and passive women was being eroded.

Parental control over relationship lessened considerably, and the time of

arranged marriages was over. Women experienced much more freedom in selecting

a mate. The concept of romantic love was appeared and widely used.

During the Great Depression, dating was often interrupted as families

frequently moved around the country to find any kind of work they could. Most

simply could not afford for dating activities, and no expenditures for entertainment

and recreational activities.

Whyte, M. K. (1990) also discusses about impact of dating during World

War II (1941- 1945). The war separated lovers for extended periods of time, which

helped to examine relationships’ durability and partners’ fidelity. Many women

seemed more independent. Men serving in the armed force came in contact with

women from other nations. At home, female met increasing number of dating

partners, many from different parts of United States. In short, both men and

women met dating partners from different walks of life. This led to various dating

regardless of multicultural differences.

The post war dating scene reflected the wealthy of the time. Dating and

courtship in the United States seemed to reflect the up-lifted spirit of the nation.

American began to exhibit more curiosity about the topic of sex and a desire to

learn more about its many sides.

The sexual revolution succeeded in creating a new era of adolescent dating

and sexual behavior. Dating partners tended to be more sharing and there is

equality in gender roles. Improved birth control methods during the sexual

revolution also contributed to increase in adolescent sexual activity.

Today the youth starts dating at much earlier age than before, around 13 or

14 years old. Most of dates are informal and not well-structured. They are more

relaxed and free.

Nowadays, with the rapid development of technology, a lot of means of

entertainment, especially media have greatly bad impact on the youth. Zinn, H.

(2002) maintains that the media has too much sexually suggestive content, which

provides teens with examples of provocative behavior.

Compared to previous generations, teenagers of the 21st century have

different ways to establish contacts with their friends and dating partners, such as

cell phones, pagers and internet. They always find fun in joining chat rooms to

meet different people and create cyberspace relationships. Such relationships are

not uncommon among teens, and they will easily be led to pornographic sites,

which are really harmful to both mental and physical health.

Similarly, dating in Vietnam has certain features changing over time whereas

some others remain to be the same.

Dating three generations ago was a very different matter than it is today.

Rabens, S. (2001) states that in Vietnam and most of other societies, in the past,

young women were never allowed to be outside alone. The presence of parents

always involved in the dating scene and they did not have their private time.

Therefore, getting to know someone was a very slow process. Couples used to join

some dating activities in public places or wherever there were many people around

such as daylight walks, concerts or some cultural events. At that time, even in some

parts of Vietnamese society, fathers selected grooms for their daughters, and

couples barely dated before they were married.

However, some outstanding changes in the style of dating now are

discovered by Colmer, R. S. and Thomas, T. M. (2005). They point out that dating

turns to be more fun and when dating, people care little about marriage. Changes in

people’s habits and beliefs are seen. There are plenty of ways to meet new people

such as dating and matchmaking services, clubs, festivals, and the Internet.

Therefore, men and women have more chances to get to know more friends and

this can easily lead to more intimate relationship. A lot of women now ask men out

and this is more popular than ever. They are also more open about sex in

conversations.

Although some aspects of dating have changed, much of it remains the same.

Colmer, R. S. and Thomas, T. M. (2005) also help readers see ways in which

dating has stayed the same. No matter when dating happens, it always involves

anxieties and challenges. Specifically, when a person wants to date someone,

he/she really worries about how to ask somebody out, what if he/she says no, how

to get to know him/her better, etc. It is true for dating at all times. What is more,

one typical feature of the youth is the desire to experience new things, so they

always find fun to meet new people. It is also undeniable that creating and

maintaining healthy relationships takes much time and effort, regardless of how

open-minded the youth nowadays is and how fast the pace of life moves.

In short, we can see that both in American and Vietnamese history, dating

has changed and unchanged aspects. However, in America, dating seems to

experience much more rapid changes than in Vietnam. From World War II,

American were more open about their relationship, especially dating. Ultimately,

after the sexual revolution, a new era for dating and sexual relationship came as a

chance for the youth to reveal all their feelings and their utmost private emotions.

Meanwhile, in Vietnam, the changing process in dating practice has developed

quite slowly. Just 50 years ago, Vietnamese couples were still closely supervised

by their parents. Therefore, lack of privacy led to reserved romantic relationships.

On the contrary, from 1900s, parental control was lessened in America. Having a

deep look at the history of dating in two different cultures, the researcher aims at

studying more about dating practice nowadays to see how different dating is from

then and now. Additionally, there were a few studies whose subjects are college/

university students, so this paper can serve to examine dating practice in general

and dating attitudes in particular among students to fulfill various aspects of this

issue.

2.3. Dating as a part of relationship

Scientific study of love, marriage and relationship was not very popular half

century ago. However, now it changes with a wide variety of description, theory

and research because this issue catches attention of scientists.

Pack, D. C. (2007) divides relationship into four stages: dating, courtship,

engagement, and marriage. Dating is viewed as casual, with little intention towards

marriage. Courtship, could be called serious dating, begins as soon as love is

declared or there are intentions towards the future. Then come engagement and

marriage. However, the sex revolution resulted in the fact that many chose living

together instead of getting marriage.

Knapp (1984) develops a different way of dividing the life cycle of

relationship into parts. They are two main parts: coming together and coming apart.

Coming together includes initiating, experimenting (finding common interests),

intensifying (express feelings), integrating (identify with each other) and bonding

(making formal commitments). Coming apart involves differentiating (seeing

personal differences), circumscribing (separating out individual privacy),

stagnating (expressing boredom) and terminating.

The way Brown, N. M. and Amatea, E. S. (2000) divides relationship is to

focus more on developmental processes. In their viewpoint, a relationship has 6

stages: initiating, dating, being in love, deepening, decay, and terminating.

This research views dating as the last division because it is clear and easily

recognized by the majority of people.

2.4 Typical features of dating

2.4.1. Structures of dating

A date begins when two people have an appointment in a specific time and

place. They arrange to do something together with the purpose of spending some

time communicating with each other and then getting to know more about the

other. Rouse, L. (2002) states that dates have a beginning, middle and an end.

When one person asks the other out, they come to agreement about time and place

to meet and that is called the beginning of a date. Activities they spend time doing

together are the middle of a date. Some activities can be named as going to the

cinema, having dinner, going for a walk, having a drink, going to bar, etc. At the

end of the date, the two say goodbye to each other. Depending on different

cultures, they can just say goodbye or send a goodnight kiss or shake hands or hug.

They can show to be more intimate if during the date, they find common interest

and compatibility. For some, they end the date by committing about another date.

2.4.2. Functions of dating

As defined, functions are the purposes served by a specific social structure.

Dating is a social activity which brings about quite a lot of advantages for

individuals in particular and for the whole society in general. According to Rouse,

L. (2002), mate choice is the demand of almost all individuals and dating is a step

helping to improve mate selection. Throughout dating, one can choose the right

person to spend time with, to share feelings and emotions. Secondly, dating

provides an opportunity to develop social skills. Dating assists those involving in

dating with learning from mistakes and preparing well for conflicts or troubles as

obstacles which are inevitable in their future marriage. By dating, they can get to

know more about others and understand better about human psychology so that

they have time to adjust themselves, and improve their personality. To society,

dating is a big business. Couples consume more to support their dating activities.

They have meals together, buy more clothing, and use some services for

entertainment. Moreover, it is true that some producers target at couples to develop

their products and services such as cheap price for two sim cards, discount on two

airline tickets/ traveling tours for pairs. This show that couples are their potential

consumers who can bring great profits for some specific products and services.

2.4.3. Stages of dating

In the article “Understanding the five stages of dating”, Gray, J. (2010)

provides a five-step approach of dating as clear guidelines to help in finding the

right partner easily. They are named attraction, uncertainty, exclusivity, intimacy,

engagement. In the first stage, one finds himself attracted to someone and wants to

involve in the relationship a little more. He/ she will hope to have opportunity to

spend more time with the other. Next, one may feel uncertain about the

relationship that whether the partner is a right match for them or not. Even when

we really love someone, there are still moments we feel a little worried about

whether we are going on the right way or not. This stage is quite necessary because

it shows that the individuals really take the relationship seriously. In exclusivity

stage, the relationship develops better. It is when the two people “have made a

mutual decision to be in a committed, exclusive relationship”. They are in a

romantic love and they are ready for a long-term relationship. The next stage called

intimacy is when the two people feel really comfortable about each other. After

learning a lot about the partner, they are free to share more private feelings and

show different sides of their characteristics. Engagement is the last stage. At this

time, the couples come to the decision that they are right for each other and the

relationship develop more and more. They can even think of marriage and their

future life.

Gu, C. (2010) shares exactly the same ideas with that way of dividing dating

into 5 stages: attraction, uncertainty, exclusivity, intimacy and engagement. In his

article, he lists dating activities clearly in each specific phase and there are some

certain common opinions on this issue between Gu, C. and Gray, J. (2010).

This way of defining dating stages is seen once again in the article "Stages of

dating" written by Hagy, C. (2010), but the writer names the stages a little

differently. They are attraction, getting to know each other, becoming exclusive,

exchanging intimacy, and preparing for the future.

In conclusion, this is considered to be a logical and scientific way to divide

dating stages and the researcher also wishes to view dating in this paper in that

common way.

2.4.4. Types of dating

Different types of dating can vary depending on many factors. In terms of the

length of time the two people have been together, there are two different levels of

dating: casual dating and serious dating. They can be known with the term short-

term and long-term relationship. Casual dating means that when someone tries to

find a date, he/she look for a person to join for dinner, go to the theater or just

spend some time with or have sex without or little affection. The second level is

serious dating. The dates that they go on may be more romantic and intimate. They

date only each other and start referring each other as girlfriend and boyfriend. In

this type of relationship, a couple may begin introducing each other their friends

and families. (As cited from http://www.ehow.com)

Another type of dating relationship is online dating, in which people date via

internet. They often chat to get to know each other online before meeting face-to-

face. Many people can find their right match by this way.

Speed dating is a term used in modern time. Speed dating was created by Los

Angeles Rabbi Yaacov Deyo (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speed_dating ). There are

companies or centres all over the country that sponsor different types of speed

dating. They hold dating session which usually lasts from three to ten minutes, and

one can meet lots of people in such a short amount of time, sometimes it is up to

twenty people in one session.

Some of us may hear the phrase "blind dating". According to Colmer, R. S.

and Thomas, T. M. (2005), blind dating means two people do not know each other

until they come to the first date. This type of dating is more and more popular

because the demand of communicating and broadening relationship is increasing.

As far as sexuality preferences of the two people are concerned, there are

two types of dating, which are heterosexuality and homosexuality. A heterosexual

person is sexually attracted to people of the opposite sex. In contrast, a homosexual

person is sexually attracted to people of the same sex.

In the scope of this paper, when the term dating is mentioned, it means face-

to- face dating, in which two people meet each other in person in a specific time

and place. It can be casual dating or serious dating, but not speed, blind or online

dating. Added to that, the research is conducted on heterosexual relationships

among college students because the majority of people engage in this type of

relationship, therefore the results may be widely applicable.

2.4.5 Purposes of dating

When we ask someone why they date, we can get numerous reasons such as

to entertain, to understand more about their partners, to learn well about the

opposite sex, to heal a broken heart, to please their parents, to be like other people,

etc.

According to McComb, A. (2006), purposes of dating can be categorized

into three groups: socialization (to develop appropriate social skills and to practice

getting along with others in different settings), recreation (to have fun and enjoy

companionship of others, and to try new and different activities) and mate selection

(to see others in many different settings, and to compare the personality and

characteristics of many people).

Chapman, G. (2004) analyses six main purposes of dating. The first one is

“developing wholesome interactions with the opposite sex”. He supposes that half

of the world is made up of individuals of the opposite sex, so if we cannot build

relationship with them, we completely fail to interact with half of the world. This

leads to limited relationship networks and failure in many other aspects of life.

Dating serves as an important tool in helping this thing because it provides setting

for such interaction. Therefore, some people choose dating to communicate,

interact, and improve their social skills in dealing with different people, especially

the opposite sex. The second purpose mentioned is “learning about the person,

personality, and philosophy”. Dating is obviously an opportunity for couples to

know more about each other. They can discover the name of their partners, the

nature of their personalities, their philosophies towards life. Learning about others

somehow helps daters adjust and improve their own characteristics. Chapman, G.

(2004) also shows that nowadays society increasingly pushes people to live isolated

and isolation has brought us to growing levels of loneliness, emptiness, and

sometimes desperation. Therefore, dating is important because it gives us a means

of connecting with others and eliminating isolation. “Seeing our strengths and

weaknesses” is another purpose of dating. Understanding various personality traits

while dating brings us greater self-understanding. We know which traits of us are

valuable, which should be avoided. This knowledge is a vital step for us to gain

personal growth.

Some other people date for the purpose of serving others. When we date

someone, we take something but we also have to give something else. We

contribute to the life of someone whom we are dating. Being in a relationship with

someone also requires us to be truthful, even when we have to tell partners their

weaknesses, because this helps the two people become better. We can see that

serving people sometimes is not an easy thing to do and dating can help us being

better at this and become a desirably reliable person. The last purpose of dating

stated by Chapman, G. (2004) is “discovering the person we will marry”. Dating is

a chance for us to gain a realistic idea of the kind of person we need as a marriage

partner. Dating people with different personalities gives us criteria for making wise

judgments. Those who date more people will have more experience in choosing a

future partner. Dating provides settings and context to exploring each other's

hobbies, habits, values, etc. Afterwards, one can know the other is compatible to

him/her or not.

In general, these are dating purposes of people at all ages and backgrounds.

The writer hypothesizes that people at different range of age and from different

backgrounds would certainly view dating in variety of ways, which may lead to

wide-ranging dating aims. Thus, the researcher wishes to study dating purposes

among people at my same age because the results may uncover some interesting

aspects of students.

2.5. Review of related studies

2.5.1. Dating attitude in American culture

Different cultural backgrounds certainly lead to different dating attitudes. In

America, in terms of places for dating, there are changes from past to present.

Couples in the early 1900s often met on the front porch of their parents’ home. By

the 1920s, they increasingly moved from the private to the public places such as

theaters, restaurants, dance halls, and so on (Coontz, 1993). From 1920s to about

1960s, dating was traditionally considered as the dominant mode of courtship or

mate selection. In traditional dating, men usually asked for dates, spent the money

on dates, dominated conversations, initiated touching and sex. On the other hand,

women waited to be asked.

However, now the situation is different. It is accepted for both men and

women to ask someone out on a date. Women perform more actively and

powerfully in heterosexual dating relationships than before. (As stated in

http://www.ecu.edu/Intlaffairs/americanculture.cfm#3)

Additionally, women in the United States may appear to be friendly and

open-minded than women in other countries. Nevertheless, it is wrong to suppose

that a woman goes on a date means she will be ready for sexual activity.

What about paying for dates? After the 1970s, with the rise of the women’s

movement, men and women are more likely to split the costs of a date (Rodriguez,

J. E., 2006). Sharing dating expenses empowers women in a dating relationship.

Most dates with college students are "Dutch", which means that each person pays

for his or her own expenses. It is even considered polite for the person who is

invited to offer to pay.

When it comes to dating age, according to a survey conducted in 1990,

approximately 90% of males and 88% of females had their first dating experience

by the age of 16 (Thornton, 1990). There are very few or almost no recent studies

which are conducted on dating age. Moreover, dating age will surely change over

periods of time, so it is necessary to have a study on these specific aspects of

dating.

In terms of purposes of dating, Whyte, M. K. (1990) states that for

adolescents who have just started dating, dating may be seen as a fun thing to help

them entertain. “Dating, especially group dating or hanging out, is a way to test

one’s attraction to the opposite sex and have fun”. Whyte, M. K. (1990) and

Thornton, A. (1990) find out that individuals are not motivated to date those who

might be compatible with them, but those who are considered as a “good date” or a

“desirable date” by peers.

In American dating culture, it is assumed that length of dating experience,

variety in dating partners, and the extent of premarital intimacy are useful

preparations for a successful marriage (Whyte, 1990). According to this argument,

individuals who have gained more dating experience and higher level of premarital

intimacy will be able to make better choices about their marriages.

Come to discuss about premarital intimacy, there has been growing approval

of premarital sex in American dating culture (Turner, 2003). In the early 20th

century, virginity was seen as a vital factor for a “good marriage” for women

(Bailey, 1989). At that time, girls who engaged in premarital sex were called “easy

girls”. For men, they often looked for easy girls to have fun with, but when it was

time to choose a wife, they usually turned to one of the virgin girls. (Turner, 2003)

Nowadays, we can see considerable change in people’s attitudes towards

women’s virginity and premarital sex. Young women are generally not expected to

be virgin at marriage anymore (Rodriguez, J. E., 2006). Women now can engage in

sexual activity before getting married because it does not matter anymore.

2.5.2. Dating attitude in Vietnamese culture

In the past, Vietnamese males and females were not allowed to date. They

lived with their parents until they become adults at the age of 18 or 20 or even

more than that. Afterwards, they would have an arranged marriage and then built a

new family. At that time, children always obeyed their parents' teaching and

arrangement.

However, today Vietnamese parents become more open-minded. They allow

their sons and daughters to have time to get to know others and make their own

choice for the future partner. But the public displays of affection in Vietnam are

still extremely different from that in US.

Whereas sexuality is overwhelmed in American media and entertainment,

porn movies, nudity magazines and dirty shows are strictly banned in Vietnam.

Issues relating to sex are seen as private and personal things, which lead to the fact

that Vietnamese people are often shy of talking about sex. They may be considered

to be rude or impolite talking about this in public. Therefore, in Vietnam, those

who engage sexual activity when dating is viewed as spoiled people. Even though

there is an increase in number of young people doing this these days, the exact

number is never reported because they are still afraid of social norms.

Talking about sexual activity in dating, it is also the matter of different

expectations from each partner. In US, there are a lot of terms for dates such as hot

dates, blind dates, instant dates, etc. It shows that American people take dating as the

simplest thing. Generally speaking, large proportions of Americans have physically

contact with someone before they become emotionally attracted to that person. They

can hold hands, hug, kiss or even having sex, all of which are very normal, on first

dates. However, in Vietnam, couples only hold hands when they know well about

each other. Most of them take their dating seriously. (according to

http://www.vietnamadventures.com/dating.html)

As for parent influence, Vietnamese youth seems to be under stricter control

of their parents than American youth. Vietnamese parents like to set rules for nearly

everything relating to their children's romantic relationship. Although things have

been more open and adolescents are more liberate during the last couple of years,

parents' rules are still quite tight. These rules often include of attire, dating places,

amount of time for a date, dating activities, and dating manners. (according to

http://www.vietmedia.com/culture/?L=dating.html)

After studying intensively related researches, I can see that learning the

opposite sex’s attitude, behaviors and expectations towards dating partners helps

students feel confident and comfortable with their current relationships; hence, they

can balance studying with their social life well. However, most of studies on dating

attitude, which focuses on dating age, places, topics and purposes, were carried out

decades ago. Recently, very few researchers have explored the attitude of male and

female students on college campus. Added to that, the similarities and differences

about dating among different cultures also seem to be neglected although students

studying abroad should be aware of these things to lead a better student life in the

target country. Therefore, I conduct a study on “A comparison on dating attitude

among American and Vietnamese college students” with the hope to supplement the

previous related studies. I choose to gain data by delivering questionnaire to

American and Vietnamese students because it is a quick and easy way to collect data

in the most objective way. After that, I conduct some interviews with some of

participants to make clear ambiguous points and get to know more about specific

situations in dating.

CHAPER 3: METHODOLOGY

3.1. Participants and participant selection method:

The study aims at comparing dating attitudes among American and

Vietnamese students; therefore, the informants selected are students from colleges

and universities in America and Vietnam. Due to limited social contacts of the

researcher, only 32 students (16 males, 16 females) from each country engaged in

answering a set of questionnaire. What is more, a semi-structured interview was

conducted with 5 students from each country to get additional information which

could not be gathered by the questionnaire. Those participants were picked up

randomly no matter which major they are studying and how many years they have

finished at colleges so that they can serve as representatives for these two student

communities.

3.2. Data collection instruments:

Both the survey questionnaires and the semi-structured interview were made

use of to collect data serving for dealing with the research questions for their

obvious prominent characteristics. “Measure gained from usability questionnaire is

to large extent, quick and independent of the system, users, or tasks to which the

questionnaire was applied” (Jurek, K.,2000, p.2). The study is on dating issue of

American and Vietnamese students; hence, one set of questionnaire was designed

in English for American and another was Vietnamese translation version for

Vietnamese to avoid the possibility of misunderstanding or ambiguity.

Furthermore, a semi- structured interview was conducted for the fact that it

“allows the participants to describe what are meaningful to them on their own

words rather than being restricted to predetermined categories” (Milne, J., 2006,

p.25). The purpose of this semi-structured interview was to make clearer specific

situations in their dating experiences; simultaneously the writer also would like to

observe their visible mood and attitudes when they retold their own circumstances.

3.2.1. The questionnaire:

The questionnaire was structured with 15 multiple choice questions which

aimed at investigating students’ dating attitude. In details, the writer collected data

from students’ points of view on dating age (questions 1-3), attraction (questions 4-

5), contacting behaviors (questions 6-10), controlled topics (question 11),

punctuality (question 12), dating places (question 13), dating expense payment

(question 14) and dating purposes (question 15). Multiple choice was the most

suitable type which should be used here because sometimes informants did not

know how to express ideas in their own words. These multiple choice questions

were also included the "Others" category where necessary so that participants could

add their own choice there and the researcher could get more detailed ideas of the

issues.

3.2.2 The interview:

Five students from each country participated in short semi-structured

interviews in which they gave their attitudes, opinions about their previous and

current dates. Much more important than that, they were asked to provide their own

situations or circumstances in which different perceptions between two sexes

existed. Some questions planned before were overlooked when the researcher saw

that they were not necessary during the interview; simultaneously, some were

added to make ambiguous things clearer. During the interviews, the researcher was

quite flexible to ask for the informants' involvement in answering questions and

producing persuasive and reliable data.

3.3. Data collection procedures:

Four main steps were made up of data collection procedures as follow:

Step 1: Planning and piloting the questionnaire and the interview scheme

At the very beginning of the first step, researchers planned the questionnaire and

the interview scheme by drawing up an item pool then designed them in details.

After that, the author would have them checked and piloted by the friends and

voluntary participants to produce a better second version.

Step 2: Getting permission from respondents and pre-arranging time:

Firstly, the researcher asked for permission from students to participate in doing the

questionnaire and interview of the study. Time to carry out was arranged right at

that moment to reach a successful and effective cooperation.

Step 3: Delivering the questionnaires and carrying out the interview

Students from two countries took delivery of two forms of questionnaires (English

and Vietnamese versions). Some were delivered through emails. At the same time,

short semi- structured interviews with some of them were carried out. At the end

of the interview, the researcher showed deep thankfulness for their help.

Step 4: Collecting data from papers of questionnaire and interviews

Answers given from interviews were quickly taken notes by the researcher. With

American students living in US, the interview was conducted with the help of

internet (holding conferences or interviewing via Skype). When being asked, all

informants wanted to receive the outcome of the study and the researcher showed

willingness to do that for them.

3.4. Data analysis procedures:

The data analysis comprised of two main steps:

Step 1: Categorizing the data

1. Quantitative data: The number of students who shared the same opinions,

attitudes or behaviors were worked out into percentage and then put into tables and

charts.

2. Qualitative data: Summarizing was used to present the content of this kind

of data.

Step 2: Analyzing and interpreting the data

The next task after categorizing the data was to interpret them into coherent and

meaningful sentences. Thanks to that, the matters raised in research questions were

identified logically and basically.

CHAPTER 4: FINDINGS AND DISCUSSION

4.1. Vietnamese's responses

Question 1: Would you date a woman/man who is much older than you?

Chart 1.a: VNese students' attitudes towards dating a much older person than them

The graph demonstrates differences between Vietnamese male and female

students' attitudes towards dating a much older person than them. 37.75% of

Vietnamese men are not interested in dating a much older woman than them and

25% of them say definitely no to that. The number of Vietnamese male and female

students who are not sure about their behavior is equal and this figure accounts for

31.25% for each. These results reveal a big change in Vietnamese males' attitude. It

was unusual for a man to have romantic relationship with a person whose age gap

is big. However, nowadays it seems that they are freer in choosing a dating partner

and the age gap does not matter anymore. That is why more than 30% of males

choose maybe, and some interviewed males say they will take it into consideration.

While 25 % of female students agree that it is totally possible to date a much older

man than them, only one- fifth of that number of males say yes to an older woman.

On the other hand, 25% of Vietnamese males definitely say no to a much older

dating partner, and a half of that number of females share same ideas. Another

noticeable point can be seen from the graph is that no male says definitely yes

towards this issue and that number of females is only 6.25%.

Definitely yes Yes Maybe No Definitely no0

5

10

15

20

25

30

35

40

0

6.25

31.25

37.5

25

6.25

25 25

12.5MaleFemale

In summary, it can be concluded that nowadays the role of big age gap is not

as important as in the past and more and more people may date a much older

person than them. However, these people share that this issue can happen in some

certain situations. Added to that, Vietnamese females tend to be more willing to

date an older man than their counterparts.

Question 2 : Would you date a woman/ man who is much younger than you?

Chart 2.a: VNese students' attitudes towards dating a much younger person than them

This question aims at studying attitudes of Vietnamese students towards

dating a very young person. As can be seen from the graph, half of male

participants say they may date a much younger girl than them, but this number of

females is only one-forth of participants which is equal to 25 %. Some of these

males say that if the woman is 5-10 years older than them, there will be no problem

in dating, but if she is younger than that, they need to consider it. The other 75% of

women say they will not or will surely not date a too young man, whereas only

12.5 % males firmly say no when talking about dating a much younger girl than

them. On the other hand, the other 12.5 % of Vietnamese male students show their

interest in a young dating partner and say there is no reason preventing them from

dating a person like that.

In summary, a large number of males say maybe and the majority of females

say no or definitely no, which conveys that Vietnamese males are quite interested

in dating a too young woman and Vietnamese female students do not like dating a

Definitely yes Yes Maybe No Definitely no

0

10

20

30

40

50

60

6.25 6.25

50

25

12.5

0 0

25

37.5 37.5

MaleFemale

younger man than them very much. Again, big age gap seems not to be as

important in dating scene as in the past because now a large percentage of students

see no obstacles in terms of age gap in dating. Some share that they are not afraid

of disapprove of their parents because they have their own right in choosing a

dating partner and their feelings towards each other are things that really count.

Question 3: What is the best age to have first date?

Chart 3.a: Best age to have first date in VNese students' attitudes

The graph shows Vietnamese students' opinions about the best age to have

first date. Interestingly, none of participants think that they should date when they

are at below senior high school or that is to say, below grade 9. The majority of

Vietnamese male students (around 68.75%) think that it is best to date at post-

secondary school when it is the time after students finish studying at high school.

The percentage of female students sharing the same idea with males in this point

are even more than that of males, up to 81.25 %. They say that this time is suitable

to have first date because they are mature enough to understand well about their

own feelings towards each other and experienced enough to handle with some

troubles in relationships. 31.25 % and 18.75 % of males and females respectively

vote for first date at senior high school.

In summary, Vietnamese male and female students nearly share same ideas

on this issue. Most of participants do not approve of dating too early and to them,

Below senior high school <14Senior high school 14-18

Post-secondary school >18

0

10

20

30

40

50

60

70

80

90

0

10

20

30

40

50

60

70

80

90

0

31.25

68.75

0

18.75

81.25

MaleFemale

the ideal time to experience first date is after graduating from high school, then it

might be at universities or colleges.

Question 4: What is your strength to attract the opposite sex most?

Chart 4.a. Strength to attract the opposite sex most in VNese students' attitudes

The graph examines differences among Vietnamese male and female

students' consciousness about their strongest point to appeal to the opposite sex. It

is easily seen that personality is considered strength of most American male and

female students. Up to 50% and 43.75 % of females and males respectively assume

that the opposite sex is mainly attracted by their characteristics. 31.25 % is the

percentage of studied males who think that they have good sense of humor to make

women interested in them. However, the number of females who are confident

about the attractiveness of their sense of humor makes up only one-third of that

number of males. When physical appearance is mentioned, it is interesting to know

that only 6.25% of Vietnamese males think they are good-looking enough to attract

others. In contrast, the number of Vietnamese female students confident about their

outer beauty is fourfold that of males. Another noticeable outcome from this

question is that there are more females who can make men enjoy their company by

their intellect than the other way around. As for money, no Vietnamese females

think the opposite sex fall for them because of their money. 6.25% of Vietnamese

Physical appearance Intellect Money Humor Personality Others

0

10

20

30

40

50

60

6.25 6.25 6.25

31.25

43.75

6.25

25

12.5

0

12.5

50

0

MaleFemale

males assume that they are appealing to women thanks to their money. Others say

that they are not sure about their own strong point to attract the opposite sex.

In summary, Vietnamese male students are most confident about their

personality and sense of humor when interacting with women and Vietnamese

female students' commonly strong points are personality and physical appearance,

which can be called inner and outer beauty.

Question 5: What is the feature of the opposite sex you look for most?

Chart 5.a. The most attractive feature of the opposite sex in VNese students' attitudes

This question targets at studying features that Vietnamese students expect at

the opposite sex. Personality is the feature most students take an interest in. 56.75

% and 43.25 % of male and female students respectively choose a dating partner

basing on personal qualities. Another common trend among females is they look

for intelligent and humorous men for their romantic relationships. Meanwhile, only

6.25 % of surveyed men want to have an intelligent girlfriend and the same

percentage of men look for a humorous dating partner. Apart from personality,

most of Vietnamese males concern about women' s physical appearance. 25% of

surveyed Vietnamese males like beautiful girls, which is fourfold the number of

Vietnamese females taking interest in handsome men. Money is once again

neglected by students when it comes to dating. There is no male or female who can

be attracted by money of the opposite sex. In other words, money does not play a

Physical appearanceIntellect

MoneyHumor

PersonalityOthers

0

10

20

30

40

50

60

25

6.250

6.25

56.25

6.256.25

25

0

18.75

43.75

MaleFemale

role in dating stage. Those who choose the "others" category say that they try to

look for a person who has all of the features above.

Question 6: What way do you think is the best to invite somebody out?

Chart 6.a. Best way to invite somebody out in VNese students' attitudes

This question is conducted to find out the best way in Vietnamese students'

opinions to invite somebody out. As can be seen from the graph, the majority of

participants, 50% of males and 43.75 % of females suppose that asking that person

directly is the most effective way. The other half of males use mobile phones to call

or send messages to that person. Meanwhile, the percentage of females who often

send messages to invite a man out is 6.25% more than males having same choice.

Only 6.25% of Vietnamese males email a woman to ask her out and none of

studied Vietnamese females use emails in this situation.

In general, it is quite clear that there is no big difference between males and

females' attitudes when contacting with a person to ask them out. Asking directly is

the most effective and common way in their viewpoint and sending emails seems

not to be in favor of students when it comes to dating.

Question 7: When you like someone, you will:

Chart 7.a. VNese students' behaviors when they like someone

Call him/her

Email him/her

Send messages to him/her

Ask him/her directly

0 10 20 30 40 50 60

25

0

25

50

18.75

6.25

31.25

43.75

MaleFemale

This graph illustrates differences in the way Vietnamese male and female

students behave to the person they fall for. The percentage of male students ask the

girl they like for a date right away is a striking number, 93,75%, which is three

times as much as that of females. The majority of females seem to be quite passive

in this situation. Even though this is about the person they have special feelings for,

they just wait for that person to ask them out, instead of making a move first. This

number of males is rather small, just 6.25% of males choose to wait because this

small portion is afraid of being refused.

In summary, when a Vietnamese male student like someone, they will not

hesitate to ask that person out so that two of them have more time to get to know

each other better. This result shows that now men in Vietnam is more and more

active in approaching women and most of them can not wait to express their

concern about her. On the contrary, Vietnamese female students are shyer of

showing their emotions, and only one-thirds of surveyed females have enough

courage to ask first.

Question 8: If a man/woman who you like contacts you, you will:

A. Contact him/her back later the same day

B. Wait a few days before contacting him/her back

C. Wait until he/she contacts you again

Ask him/her for a date right away

Wait for him/her to ask you for a date

0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80 90 100

93.75

6.25

31.25

68.75

MaleFemale

Chart 8.a. VNese students' behavior when the person they like contacts them

According to the graph, the viewpoint of the majority if Vietnamese male

students is that when the person they like contact them, they will contact back later

the same day or after a few days. None of studied males wait for another contact

from that person without doing something. Meanwhile, being in that situation,

Vietnamese female students will either contact back on the same day or just do

nothing and wait for another signal from that person. None of females choose to

wait for a few days before connecting with him. In details, 81.25 % of Vietnamese

male students when being get in touch by the person they like will contact right on

that same day, and 68.75% of females choose to do so. Only 18.75% of males

choose to wait for several days and then decide to reach that person. Surprisingly,

none of females behave in the same way as these 18.75% of males. More than one-

thirds of surveyed females want to be approached once more time before deciding

to give feedback signals, whereas no males want to do so.

In summary, the majority of Vietnamese male and female students when

being contacted by the person they fancy will contact them back within less than 24

hours. With some other men, this time lasts several days and with some other

women, they want that person to keep contacting them.

Question 9: When being asked for a date, you will

Chart 9.a. VNese students' response to an invitation to a date

A B C

0

10

20

30

40

50

60

70

80

90 81.25

18.75

0

68.75

0

31.25MaleFemale

The graph illustrates clear differences in Vietnamese male and female

students' attitudes towards replying an invitation for a date. According to the graph,

81.75% of male students will give a clear answer which is either yes or no when

being asked for a date. Meanwhile, only half of that percentage of females choose

to do so. The other 56.25 % of females report that it takes them some time to think

before replying so they will not answer immediately. The number of males

behaving in the same way is only 18.75 %, one-thirds of females.

In summary, most Vietnamese male students choose to give a definite yes or

no right away, but most Vietnamese female students behave in the other way,

which is not to give a direct response.

Question 10: If you contact someone to ask for a date and he/she refuses, what will

you do?

Chart 10.a. VNese students' behavior when their invitation to a date is refused

Give a definite yes/noNot answer immediately

0

10

20

30

40

50

60

70

80

90 81.25

18.75

43.75

56.25

MaleFemale

The graph shows reaction of Vietnamese male and females' students after

being refused for a date. Three-forths of surveyed males say they will keep contact

with that person and try to ask for a date another time. The majority of females who

will not be in touch with that person any more account for 56.25 %, whereas that

percentage of males is only 25 %. The number of females choosing to contact that

person again to ask for a date reports 43.75 % and some interviewed students share

that if they are really fond of that man, they want to give themselves another

chance. Some other females who do not want to contact again say that it is not

worth trying to contact those who show no interest in them.

In summary, the common behavioral trend among Vietnamese male students

is to continue to get in touch with women, even they refuse their offer to have a

date. Meanwhile, the large number of females chooses to end the relationship by

not contacting again to deal with that situation.

Question 11: What is the best topic to discuss with your partner on dates?

Chart 11.a. Best topic on dates in VNese students' attitudes

Contact again Never contact again0

10

20

30

40

50

60

70

80 75

25

43.75

56.25

MaleFemale

According to the graph, two topics Vietnamese male students think the most

suitable to talk about on dates are current events and women's interests. The

percentage of studied males who share this attitude is 37.5% for each of these

choice. Only half of that number of females supposes that they should discuss

about current events on dating. The graph also shows an interesting difference

between two genders' attitudes is that while 37.5 % of males are in favor of talking

about his dating partner's interests, only 6.25 % of females choose interests of the

opposite sex the best topic. The majority of Vietnamese female students would like

both of parties to converse about their common interests, not only their interests or

the other's concern. Another notable thing illustrated by the graph is none of

surveyed males think their own interest is a good topic to talk on dates. On the

contrary, one-forths of surveyed females choose their interests a reasonable topic to

involve in conversations on dates.

In summary, as for Vietnamese male students, current events and interests of

the opposite sex are chosen as most appropriate topics to discuss on dates, but

Vietnamese females do not share the same thoughts. Common interests and their

own interests are preferable to most of females to build up conversations on dates.

No males think his interest is a relevant topic to make an effective date.

Question 12: On dates, you arrive

Current events Your interests His/Her interests Common interests Others

0

5

10

15

20

25

30

35

40 37.5

0

37.5

25

0

18.75

25

6.25

37.5

12.5

MaleFemale

Chart 12.a. Punctuality on dates in VNese students' attitudes

As can be seen from the graph, Vietnamese male and female students adopt

great difference in punctuality on dates. 50% of females say they will arrive on

time, but the percentage of males chooses to do so is only 12.5 %, which is one-

forths of females. The majority of surveyed males want to come early on dates,

which reports up to 81.25 %. As for females, the number choose to come ahead of

time is as small as those arrive punctually, which is 12.5 %. A large number of

female students (nearly 49%) often come belatedly on dates, whereas this number

of males is only 6.25%. There is one interviewed male students say that he is late

for everything and on dates he tries to be on time but he is still unpunctual.

In summary, Vietnamese male students tend to come sooner than planned on

dates. Only a small portion of male students comes to dating place exactly as the

schedule time or late. Meanwhile, there are two common trends among Vietnamese

female students' attitudes towards time on dates, which are to come either on time

or a little late. Very few females choose to come early when having a date.

Question 13: Where is the best place for dates?

Chart 13.a. Best dating place in VNese students' attitudes

on time a little early a little late0

10

20

30

40

50

60

70

80

90

12.5

81.25

6.25

50

12.5

37.5 MaleFemale

The graph illustrates places where Vietnamese students often go on dates or

think are suitable for dates. The most outstanding point from the graph is that the

majority of both males and females choose somewhere outdoors as an ideal place

for their dates. 50% of males and 37.5 % of females are in favor of being close to

open air or nature in somewhere like parks. Restaurant is another place picked up

to go on dates by 31.25 % of females. The percentage of males prefers restaurant is

less than a half of females. The results show that only 12.5 % of Vietnamese males

think that it is a best place for those are dating to go. Theater and cinema seem not

to be fitting choice among both genders. There are only 6.25 % of males and the

same number of females adopt theater and cinema as best place for dates. 31.25 %

and 25 % of males and females respectively have other choices in dating place.

They say that the most common place they go for dates is small shops like coffee

shop where they have some drink only.

In summary, Vietnamese male students often choose somewhere outdoors

and coffee shop as their dating places. As for females, they believe that somewhere

with open air or restaurants are appropriate to have successful dates. Most students

do not regard going to movies as things they should do on dates. Some share that

movies prevent them from talking to each other, so going to theater or cinema

might make dates boring.

Theater/cinema

Restaurant

Somewhere outdoors

Others

0 10 20 30 40 50 60

6.25

12.5

50

31.25

6.25

31.25

37.5

25

MaleFemale

Question 14 :Who should pay for dates?

Chart 14.a. Dating expense payment in VNese students' attitudes

The graph shows Vietnamese students' attitude towards payment on dates. It

is quite interesting to see that the percentage of men and women who think that

men should pay on date is exactly the same. This number is 87.5 %, which is seven

times as much as those adopting other choices. None of Vietnamese informants

suppose that women should pay all for dates. 12.5 % of Vietnamese male students

want both to pay the bill, but the number of females who have got that opinion is

only half of that. One female student says that if that is not an intimate relationship,

it is better for both to involve in paying, but normally men insist on paying, then

women should offer him something else. If the relationship lasts long and they

become intimate, it does not matter who will pay.

In summary, Vietnamese men is supposed to be responsible for paying by

most of students of two genders. Only small portion of surveyed students think that

they should divide the money to pay equally.

Question 15: What is your main purpose of dating?

Chart 15.a. VNese students' dating purposes

Men Women Split bill Other0

10

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40

50

60

70

80

90

10087.5

0

12.5

006.25 6.25

MaleFemale

As being described in the graph, 50 % of Vietnamese females and 43.75 %

of males date because of mate selection, which means that they want to see others

in many different settings and to compare the personality and characteristics of

many people, then this will help them find out a person to spend their whole life

with. As can be seen from the graph, the percentage of males dating for

socialization is equal to those dating for mate selection. In comparison with 43.75

% of males want to socialize on dates, only 25 % of females choose dating to

develop appropriate social skills and to get along with others in different settings.

12.5 % of female students claim that their main purpose of dating is recreation.

These share that they date to have fun and try new and different activities. The

percentage of males saying they date for recreation is exactly a half of that number

of females, which is only 6.25 %. Those who pick the "others" category report that

they do not plan on dating. Sometimes at the first dating stages, they want to have

fun, and then if both parties are compatible to each other, they will move forwards

and think further.

In summary, mate selection is main purpose of dating of most Vietnamese

male and female students. Added to that, Vietnamese male students also care about

socialization when dating. There is only a small percentage of Vietnamese students

date to have fun and entertain themselves.

Socialization Recreation Mate selection Others

0

10

20

30

40

50

60

43.75

6.25

43.75

6.25

25

12.5

50

12.5

MaleFemale

4.2. American's responses

Question 1 Would you date a woman/man who is much older than you?

Chart 1.b: American students' attitude towards dating a much older person than them

As can be drawn from the graph, the majority of American males and

females do not care about big age gap when it comes to dating. In sum, 81.75 % of

females and males will or may date a person who is much older than them and age

gap really does not matter. Only 18.75 % of males and females think that a much

older person than them is not a good dating partner. Surprisingly, more American

males definitely say yes to dating an older woman (12.5 %) than American females

towards males (only 6.25%). It seems that when becoming older, American females

are more attractive to the opposite sex than males. This may be explained by

differences in two sexes' psychology. American females seem to be afraid of

conflicts caused by big age gap which easily leads to broken relationships.

Definitely yes Yes Maybe No Definitely no0

10

20

30

40

50

60

70

12.5

25

43.75

18.75

06.25

12.5

62.5

0

MaleFemale

Question 2: Would you date a woman/ man who is much younger than you?

Chart 2.b: American students' attitudes towards dating a much younger person than them

The graph shows difference between American male and female students'

attitudes about their dating partner's age. Noticeably, no females want to date a

much younger man than her and no American male students definitely do not like

to date a very young girl. The graph also clearly demonstrates the common trend

among American male students that they find interest in having a so young girl as

their girlfriend (as we can see, 56.25 % and 31.25 % say yes and maybe

respectively). Only a small percentage of male students, about 6.25 % say no to too

young daters. A striking difference among males and females' attitude lies on the

yes category. While nearly 60% of males will surely do, only 12.5 % of females

answer in the affirmative. As for females, those are not certain about dating a very

young man account for the majority. The number of female students who are

unwilling to date a much younger person is more than fourfold that of males.

In brief, most of American male students are eager and excited to date a very

young girl while female students tend to think that it is hard for them to have an

interesting relationship with a younger man than them.

Question 3: What is the best age to have first date?

Definitely yes Yes Maybe No Definitely no

0

10

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30

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50

60

6.25

56.25

31.25

6.25

00

12.5

50

25

12.5

MaleFemale

Chart 3.b: Best age to have first date in American students' attitudes

The above graph visualizes American students' attitude about the best age to

have first date. In general, there is no big difference among male and female

students towards this issue. The majority of two sexes (68.8 % males and 65.3 %

females) suppose that the best time to experience their first date is at the senior

high school when they were around 14-18 years old. This is perhaps because at this

time they are no longer children and not yet adults so they are quite curious and

want to experience new things. Moreover, studying at senior high school may be

not too stressed so they can have fun time hanging out with friends and develop

their relationships. Even though American is considered to have tendency to

involve in romantic relationships quite soon, we still see from the graph that 31.2 %

of male and 27.2 % female students believe that it's best to date after finishing post-

secondary school (maybe after entering universities or taking vocational training

courses) when they are at least 18 years old. Interestingly, none of male students

think that they should date when they have not reached 14 whereas small portions

of females want to have first date at that young age.

To sum up, neither American male nor female students think that age

difference plays an important role in dating stage. Most of students from two

genders say they may date a person who is much older or much younger than them.

A number of male students are even pretty sure about dating older women. As for

Below senior high school < 14

Senior high school 14- 18

Post-secondary school > 18

0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80

0

68.8

31.2

7.5

65.3

27.2

MaleFemale

younger dating partner, males tend to be willing to involve in that relationship

whereas none of females say yes definitely to men much younger than them. In

terms of best age for first date, the number of students prefers age at senior high

school is twice as much as those recommend time during post-secondary school. A

small portion of female students think it is best to date when they are below senior

high school.

Question 4: What is your strength to attract the opposite sex most?

Chart 4.b1. Strength to attract the opposite sex most in American female students'

attitudes

Here is the graph which describes American female students' awareness

about their own strength to attract the opposite sex. Personality is the feature most

of them feel confident about. 43.75% of female participants presume that the

opposite sex is mainly attracted by their characteristics. When being interviewed,

some common adjectives they use to talk about themselves are fun-loving,

enthusiastic, humorous and supportive. It seems that very few female students

(only 6.25%) consider physical appearance their main weapon to make others enjoy

their company. Some say they may attract others at first sight but then what men

care about is what kind of person they really are, not just the outer beauty. Only

beautiful face cannot keep a man beside a woman long enough to build a strong

relationship. Sense of humor is also another strong point of American female

Physical appearance

Intellect

Money

Humor

Personality

0 5 10 15 20 25 30 35 40 45 50

6.25

12.5

0

37.5

43.75

American female students

students. The graph shows 37.5 % of them are appealing to men by their wittiness

(being funny and entertaining). Another outstanding outcome from the study is that

there is no American females taking money into the dating stage. They totally agree

that money is meaningless in drawing men's attention.

Chart 4.b2. Strength to attract the opposite sex most in American male students'

attitudes

Looking at the males' chart about their attitude towards their own strong

point to attract the opposite sex, again, we see personality is picked up most. 31.25

% of American male students share same idea that females like them because of

their personality. It seems that personality often stands first in students' priority list

while taking some of their features into consideration to attract others. The number

of American male students who think they are good-looking enough to appeal

others is twice than that of females (12.5 %). The same ratio between men and

women is seen when mentioning about intellect. American male students tend to be

more confident about their intellectual attraction towards opposite sex than

females. 25 % of males can use their intellectual ability to make others fall for

them, whereas this number of female is only 12.25 %. Humor is yet another

important feature for American male students to be confident about to catch others'

attention and liking.

Physical appearance

Intellect

Money

Humor

Personality

Others

0 5 10 15 20 25 30 35

12.5

25

0

25

31.25

6.25

American male students

Some think their balance among those factors makes them attractive and the

opposite sex loves them not only by their own personality, but also by humor,

intellect and physical appearance. A marked similarity among American male and

female students is that money does not play any role when talking about attraction

in romantic relationship. Both sexes are high aware that money is not something

special or important to attract and be attracted in building relationships.

Question 5: What is the feature of the opposite sex you look for most?

Chart 5.b. The most attractive feature of the opposite sex in American students' attitudes

There are lots of interesting things to have an insight into what feature of a

dating partner American students concern most about. It is visibly shown in the

graph that the majority of male students choose physical appearance and

personality as two most attractive features of a girlfriend. Therefore, it can be

drawn out that men keep a balance between outer and inner beauty when it comes

to finding a dating partner. Meanwhile, in contrast to a common notion that young

people are often overwhelmed by outward appearance, only 12.5% of American

female students view physical appearance as the most important thing about men

they keep in mind. The feature most female students really want to find at a

potential dater is personality. At second rank in females' concern come intellect and

Physical appearance

Intellect

Money

Humor

Personality

Others

0 5 10 15 20 25 30 35

31.25

12.5

0

6.25

31.25

18.75

12.5

25

0

25

31.25

6.25

MaleFemale

sense of humor with 25% for each. However, only 6.25% of males look for a

humorous girlfriend. Besides, the number of males look for a smart girl is half of

that of females. They say they are afraid of being not able to handle with an

intelligent girl. Some interviewed male students report that they are quite picky so

normally it takes them quite a lot of time to find out a right match who involves

more than one feature listed above. Some other males share same ideas with a

small portion of 6.25% of females that they even have not thought of what they are

really looking for from the opposite sex. Their relationships just naturally develop

when they have same feelings for each other without any special reasons like the

good appearance, intelligence or humor.

To sum up, personality is not only the feature most of American male and

female students are confident about themselves to attract the others but also the

feature both genders look for to find out an ideal partner. Interestingly, this

intersecting point can make it easier and quicker for American students to find out

a dating partner. All surveyed students do not show any care for money when

talking about dating. They share that money helps nothing in relationships and they

totally cannot be attracted to others just by their strong financial competency. In

terms of qualities of the opposite sex they often fall for, the majority of males

choose physical appearance and personality whereas most female students care for

personality, intellect and humor. It seems that intellect and sense of humor of a girl

are not features most men desire to exist in their dating partner.

Question 6: What way do you think is the best to invite somebody out?

Chart 6.b. Best way to invite somebody out in American students' attitudes

This question aims at seeking for the most effective way American students

use to invite someone out. The graph shows obviously that those choose to ask

directly to invite outnumber those who call or send messages to ask for a date. 100

% of studied males believe that asking directly really works in this situation. Some

say that they are in favor of face-to-face communication and asking right away also

helps them know the counterpart's feelings and emotions. As for females, the

majority of females share the same idea with males in this issue. The percentage of

females who will ask the man they want to hang out with directly is 80 %, which is

more than four times as much as those contact by phones. A small portion of 6.7 %

female informants choose to send messages to invite one person out because they

are not confident enough to call or ask directly. Some say they are afraid of being

refused. It is quite fascinating to see that none of American students invite someone

out by emailing them.

The outcome of this question proves the directness in communication among

American students. Most of them prefer something simple and clear which is

impossible not to understand and face-to-face communication is viewed as the most

efficient way to contact during dating process.

Question 7: When you like someone, you will:

Call him/ her

Email him/her

Send messages to him/her

Ask him/her directly

0 20 40 60 80 100 120

0

0

0

100

13.3

0

6.7

80

MaleFemale

Chart 7.b. American students' behaviors when they like someone

The above graph views differences in American male and female students'

behavior when they have special feelings for someone. 73.3% of American male

students will express their emotions right away by asking the girl they are

interested in for a date. However, only 26.7 % females behave in that way. Some

interviewed students say it is too risky to ask for a date when they are not sure

about the counterpart's thinking. The majority of females choose a safer way as to

wait for the person they like to ask them for a date. This number is 66.7%, which is

five times as much as that of males. 13.3 % and 6.7 % of male and female students

respectively choose the "others" category. Some females say it depends on the

person. If they are compatible with each other by having similar ideas and interests,

they will ask right away, but if not, they will wait. Some American male students

say they will not do it straight away, but wait a little and have some talks to become

friends and then ask for a date. That time might last a week or more.

In brief, male students seem to be more straightforward and brave in

revealing their feelings and more willing to involve in a date than females.

American female students are a little bit shyer about this issue while 66.7 % just

wait and do nothing to foster the relationship.

Question 8: If a man/woman who you like contacts you, you will:

A. Contact him/her back later the same day

B. Wait a few days before contacting him/her back

Ask him/her for a date right away

Wait for him/her to ask you for a date

Others

0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80

75

12.5

12.5

25

68.75

6.25

MaleFemale

C. Wait until he/she contacts you again

D. Other (please specify)...............................

Chart 8.b. American students' behavior when the person they like contacts them

The graph demonstrates American male and female students' attitude

towards what they should do when being contacted by a person they like. 68.75 %

of females will contact that person back later the same day to show their interest.

Meanwhile, only half of studied males choose this. Nearly the other half will not

contact right after that, but wait for a few days before giving the signals back

instead. None of those students think that it is wise to do nothing but wait for

another contact from that person. Those who choose the other category say that it

depends on the situation. If that person they really fall for, they will contact back

just some minutes later. If it is only the one they like a bit, they want to wait.

In total, it is quite surprising to see that the number of females contact the

man they like after he contacts them within a day is larger than that of male

students. In this matter, American female students seem to be more excited,

fascinated and active in giving feedback after men gives responsive signals to

them. Meanwhile, more men want to wait to have time to look into the situation

than women.

Question 9: When being asked for a date, you will

A B C D

0

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5043.75

06.25

68.75

31.25

0 0

MaleFemale

A. Give a definite yes or no

B. Not answer immediately

Chart 9.b. American students' response to an invitation to a date

As can be seen from the graph, 93.75% and 81.25 % of male and female

students will give a definite yes or no when they are asked for a date. This results

show that American students seem to be in favor of directness in dating process,

which has been analyzed in question 6. Most of students say that when someone

invites them out for a date, there is no reason for them to take too much time to

give an answer. If they feel interested in, then it will be a yes and if not, obviously

be a no. Some say they may have some reasons to refuse, for example assignments

or exams. Only 6.25 % of male respondents will not answer immediately and that

number of females is exactly three times as much as men's. Therefore, it can be

drawn out that American males are more straightforward than females. A small

portion of males who do not reply by a yes or no right away say that the situation

has not happened to them but if it has, they want to think carefully because they

always take dating seriously.

Question 10: If you contact someone to ask for a date and he/she refuses, what will

you do?

0

20

40

60

80

100 93.75

6.25

81.25

18.75

MaleFemle

Chart 10.b. American students' behavior when their invitation to a date is refused

In this question, the researcher seeks for attitude of male and female students

towards the situation that they are refused when asking for a date. 25% of male

students are willing to keep trying another time to approach the girl they like,

whereas this number of females is a little more than that- 31.25%. Exactly half of

studied males will never contact that person again after receiving a no for a date.

Interestingly, up to 62.5 % of females make the strong decision that there is no

point in continuing to contact the person. They share that once he says no, it means

he is not interested in so they do not want to put any hope in such situation. 25% of

American male students have their own way to handle this. Some share that it

depends on the person. If that girl is just an acquaintance, they will not contact

again. If they are friends, some decide to wait and contact later. Some say they will

contact again only if they really like that woman. Others want to try to talk to her

and give her time to know them better.

In summary, when it comes to attitude towards contact or connection among

American students, there are some outstanding things to take into consideration.

American male students show to be direct and straightforward in dating

relationship because the results report that most of them will ask for a date right

away when they like someone and 100% of males say they will invite a person out

by asking them directly. Besides, both of two genders are not in favor of beating

Contact him/her again Never contact him/her again Others

0

10

20

30

40

50

60

70

25

50

2531.25

62.5

6.25

MaleFemale

around the bush when being asked for a date. The majority of male and female

students answer they will give a definite yes or no in that situation. If they are

refused when asking others for a date, most of students will never contact again. At

this point, the results express the idea that American young people are not very

persistent in pursuing the person they are interested in. However, the outcome also

makes it clearer that most of American students view dating as something clear and

simple because when they say no, they really mean that they do not like, so it is

useless to try to contact them again. There is a slight difference between male

and female students' attitude towards the matter of being connected by the person

they like. When a person they like contacts them, more females than males choose

to contact them back later the same day. More males tend to wait for several days

before contacting back. In this issue, American male students show that they need

more time to think and consider carefully before involving in a dating relationship.

Some say that they just guess that because it never happens to them.

Question 11: What is the best topic to discuss with your partner on dates?

Chart 11.b. Best topic on dates in American students' attitudes

As can be seen from the bar chart, most of American male and female

students think the best topic on dates is common interest or the other's interest. The

Current events

Your interests

His/Her interests

Common interests

Others

0 10 20 30 40 50 60

0

0

50

43.75

6.25

0

6.25

37.5

56.25

0

American male studentsAmerican female students

number of male students supposes that women's interest is the most suitable topic

accounts for 50% and nearly all of the rest choose common interest to talk about on

dates. Meanwhile, 37.5 % of female students think the topic of her dating partner's

interest make conversation smooth and natural. More than half of studied females

want to discuss about common things. There is slight difference between two

genders' points of view about this. Common interest is the preferable topic to most

of females in comparison with males, whereas the majority of male students

suppose that the opposite sex's interest is more suitable. Noticeably, neither males

nor females think that current events should involve in conversation and men also

do not want to talk about their own interests. Other men say that it is best to ask

women questions and sometimes talk about themselves but not too much. A small

percentage of women thinks that they should discuss about their own interest.

In brief, it is easily seen that the overlap in two genders' attitude towards this

issue is interests or hobbies they have in common. Therefore, it is advisable from

the results of this survey question that dating partners should choose common

interests as the best topic on dates.

Question 12: On dates, you arrive

Chart 12.b. Punctuality on dates in American students' attitudes

This question aims at studying attitudes towards punctuality of American

students on dates. The graph shows that up to 81.25 % of male students arrive on

time on dates, which is nearly twice as much as that number of females. About 20

on time a little early a little late0

10

20

30

40

50

60

70

80

90 81.25

18.75

0

43.75

2531.25 Male

Female

% of males say they often come a little early and no male students come late on

dates. It is quite surprising to know that 31.25% of American female students arrive

a little late on dates. The number of late female daters is more than early female

daters and less than on-time ones.

In summary, 100% and 68.75% of male and females respectively will come

to dates on time or early. These figures show that American people are quite strict

in punctuality and this is important because they value their own time and others'

time. 31.25 % of females come late share that sometimes it takes them long time to

dress up and some say they want to come and see their dating partners at the dating

place already.

Question 13: Where is the best place for dates?

Chart 13.b. Best dating place in American students' attitudes

The graph demonstrates places where American students often go on dates.

Restaurant is an ideal place for dates in the view of 62.5% of male students,

whereas the number of females like going to restaurants is only more than one-third

of that of males. Male students who think going to somewhere outdoors make their

dates more interesting account for 31.25%. That figure of women is up to 50%.

They say that open air at somewhere like parks make them feel more comfortable

Theater/cinema

Restaurant

Somewhere outdoors

Others

0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70

0

62.5

31.25

6.25

12.5

25

50

12.5

MaleFemale

and conversation will easily move on. Theater or cinema is the best choice for dates

of 12.5 % of females but no male thinks going to movies is suitable. Some say that

watching movies can be a good activity but not best. Some say on first date they

can go to cinema so that they have something to talk about afterwards. However,

after that two people need private space to get to know each other better, which

theater or cinema cannot provide them. Others prefer going to bar or cafe.

In summary, American students who are going to date someone should keep

in mind that half of females want to go to somewhere outdoors with fresh air and

only one-forths of female students like having meals at restaurants on dates.

Meanwhile, the majority of American male students view restaurant best place for

their dates.

Question 14: Who should pay for dates?

Chart 14.b. Dating expense payment in American students' attitudes

The graph shows American students' attitude towards payment on their dates.

It is shown in the graph that there is no big difference between men and women's

thinking in this issue. 43.75 % American male students say that they should pay on

dates, 31.25 % of their counterparts share the same idea that men are responsible

for paying. The percentage of female students think splitting the bill is the most

Men Women Split bill Others

0

5

10

15

20

25

30

35

40

45

5043.75

0

37.5

18.75

31.25

0

43.75

25

MaleFemale

suitable way is more than that of males. However, the disparity is not considerable.

None of American participants suppose that women should pay all for dates. Some

interviewed male students said that they will pay all but they want women to offer

to pay first because they do not like the idea that men have to be responsible for

paying all. Other female interviewees shared that on first dates men should pay, but

on later dates, both of parties split the bill equally.

Question 15: What is your main purpose of dating?

Chart 15.b. American students' dating purposes

This graph provides visibly huge difference between American male and

female students' purposes of dating. Nearly 80% of females go on dates because

they want to meet and spend time with people in order to be sociable and gain

personal development. In American dating culture, people do not need to make

commitment because it is just an early stage in relationships. Some share that

dating to them is to get to know about each other better and to learn to behave well.

The number of male students says they date for socialization is only equal to half of

that number of females, which is approximately 40%. 25% of American male

students date for recreation, which is fourfold that of females. Some interviewed

men say they date to entertain, enjoy themselves and have fun without thinking any

further. They do not take dating too seriously and some even say they can date

because their friends are also dating. Meanwhile, very few females have that idea.

Socialization Recreation Mate selection Others

0

10

20

30

40

50

60

70

80

37.5

2531.25

6.25

68.75

6.25

25

0

MaleFemale

However, the number of males who dates for mate selection is 31.25%- more than

25% of females. Others say that they are unsure about their dating purposes. Some

say they may date for fun but when they find out a suitable match, they will move

on to foster the relationship.

In summary, main dating purpose of most American female students is

socialization and males seem to balance among three purposes.

4.3. Similarities and differences between Vietnamese and American students'

dating attitude

4.3.1. Similarities

Attractiveness (Question 5)

Chart 16. The most attractive feature of the opposite sex in VNese and American

female students' dating attitudes

The graph illustrates features of the opposite sex Vietnamese and American

female students are looking for. Even though some slight difference can be seen

among choices of students from two countries, the majority of both Vietnamese

and American women want to have a boyfriend who is nice, intelligent and

humorous. It is intriguing to see that these are three features of a man which can

attract women most.

Physical appearanceIntellect

MoneyHumor

PersonalityOthers

0

5

10

15

20

25

30

35

40

45

50

6.25

25

0

18.75

43.75

12.5

25

0

25

31.25

6.25

Vietnamese female studentsAmerican female students

The outcome shows that a man with good personality can appeal to lots of

female students, no matter they come from America or Vietnam. It has been

common from the past that in Vietnam, personality is the most important thing

about one person. There is even an old saying which traditionally implies that

"Beauty dies and fades away but ugly holds its own".

Followed by personality is intellect. Nowadays, women tend to fall in love

with the person they admire most. The man they fall for need to be more intelligent

than them. Normally, a smart man is a good conversationalist and has strong sense

of humor, which can attract the opposite sex quickly. Some might say that the

developing society makes people more materialistic, however, with Vietnamese

and American females, money has no meaning and when choosing a dating partner,

they care nothing about financial competency of that person.

Punctuality (Question 12)

Chart 17. Punctuality on dates in Vietnamese and American students' attitudes

The graph shows similarities between Vietnamese and American female

students' punctuality on dates. Almost half of surveyed students from two countries

come to the dating place on time. A small percentage of Vietnamese and American

female students want to come a little early. Surprisingly, more than 30 % of

participants from each different cultures are a little late on dates. This

outcome is partly unexpected because American are said to be very punctual no

on time a little early a little late0

10

20

30

40

50

60

50

12.5

37.543.75

2531.25

Vietnamese female studentsAmerican female students

matter the occasion is formal or not. However, when replying this question, 31.25

% American students say they are often late for dates. Some shared that they do not

take dating as something too serious and it is merely a chance to have fun time

together and get to know each other better. Therefore, they are not too strict for

themselves to come there on time, and they may be late a little bit. As for

Vietnamese, being unpunctual happens more common among daily life. Even when

it comes to dating, they cannot avoid being late sometimes.

4.3.2. Differences

Age gap (Question 1)

Chart 18. American and VNese students' attitudes towards dating a much older person than

them

Vietnamese and American male students show different attitude towards

dating a much older person than them. It is clearly seen from the graph that in three

categories "definitely yes", "yes" and "maybe", American male students outnumber

Vietnamese ones. In details, 12.5 % of American males will surely date a much

older woman, but none of surveyed Vietnamese share the same idea. Additionally,

the number of American males who affirm that it can totally happen is fourfold that

of Vietnamese males. On the contrary, while majority of Vietnamese male students

choose "no" and "definitely no" towards this issue, only a small percentage of

Definitely yes Yes Maybe No Definitely no0

5

10

15

20

25

30

35

40

45

50

0

6.25

31.25

37.5

25

12.5

25

43.75

18.75

0

Vietnamese malesAmerican males

18.75 % of American students say they will not date a much older woman than

them.

In summary, the outstanding difference between Vietnamese and American

male students' attitude noted here is that American males does not care much about

big age gap between themselves and their dating partners, whereas Vietnamese

males show little interest in older women. This attitude of American students is

once seen when they are asked about dating a much younger woman. While only

6.25 % of Vietnamese male students say yes, that percentage of American is 56.25

%. The researcher attempts to explain the outcome that American people are more

open-minded about romantic relationship and to them, love may be supposed to be

ageless thing, then an age difference does not matter much. Most of them think that

it is possible for them to date a person whose age gap is large. Some interviewed

American men share that dating a younger woman not only brings them pleasant

feelings of caring for someone but also helps with the maturing process of the

young lady. However, in Vietnamese culture, for ages, it has been more common

for an older man to date a younger woman, not the other way around. Now, even

that notion partly fades away, only one-third of surveyed Vietnamese male students

will consider it and the majority of them are not very willing to do that.

Best dating age (Question 3)

From the graphs in previous part, an outstanding difference in attitude

towards suitable age to have first date of American and Vietnamese students is

shown. While most American students believe that they should date at senior high

school, majority of Vietnamese students suppose it is best to date after this studying

period, which means 18 years old afterwards. This outcome remains nearly the

same as what Whyte (1990) found out about dating age of American. It is also

predictable because when it comes to romantic relationships, Vietnamese people

tend to be more shy than American. According to previous study, Vietnamese even

hardly talk about dating topic at early age. Parental influence is quite strong in

Vietnam, plus parents often take much care about their children in general and their

private life as well. This partly limits relationships among youngsters and friends,

especially friends of the opposite sex. That is why most Vietnamese students do not

think that they should date earlier than 18.

On the contrary, in American society, individualism is highly respected,

which means people choose their own way to lead their lives. As a result, children

are independent from parents at early age. Additionally, American, especially

American students has high demand of developing their network of relationships.

This accounts for their choice to have first date at senior high school, around 14-18

years old.

Contact (Question 6)

Chart 19. Best way to invite somebody out in VNese and American students' dating

attitudes

The chart illustrates marked difference between Vietnamese and American

students' attitude towards the issue of how to invite somebody out appropriately. It

is easily seen from the chart that the most common way chosen by both Vietnamese

Call him/her

Email him/her

Send messages to him/her

Ask him/her directly

0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80 90 100

21.7

3.2

28.2

46.9

6.7

0

3.3

90

Vietnamese studentsAmerican students

and American is asking that person directly. However, nearly all American

informants prefer this way, but there are about a half of Vietnamese use it and think

it effective. The other half of Vietnamese students often ask one person out with

the help of phones and internet, on the other hand, only 10 % of American

respondents have got the same way to deal with the issue.

In summary, the results reveal directness of American student in dating

communication. When they want to know others' opinions and feelings, they

usually get direct information from that person by going straight to the point while

talking. That is why even when it comes to asking someone for a date, the best way

for them is to ask directly. In contrast, Vietnamese culture adopts the opposite side

of communication, which is indirectness. The directness and indirectness of

American and Vietnamese students respectively are once shown in their reaction

when being asked for a date (question 9). In average, in this situation, while only

12.5 % of American students do not give a definite yes/no right away, this number

of Vietnamese respondents is nearly 40%. Vietnamese people are not familiar with

something straightforward and dating is no exception. Even though 46.9 % of

surveyed Vietnamese students choose to invite a person out by asking directly,

more than half of participants prefer calling, emailing or texting. The latter ways

help them avoid face-to-face communication, which might be thought of being

irrelevant by some students. Some Vietnamese students say they are too shy to ask

and sending messages make them more confident. Others are afraid of being

refused so they try to use a less vulnerable way.

Dating places (Question 13)

Chart 20. Best dating places in VNese and American male students' attitudes

This graph shows difference in attitude of male students from Vietnamese

and American cultures when choosing a suitable dating place. It is noticeable that

restaurant is preferable to most of American male students, but majority of

Vietnamese students want to go to somewhere outdoors on dates. The percentage

of American students considers restaurant an ideal place to go on dates is 62.5 %,

which is five times more than Vietnamese counterparts. Meanwhile, the favorite

dating place of most Vietnamese is picked up by more than 30% of American.

The difference in choosing a suitable place for dates between students from

two cultures can be explained by some cultural factors. As for Vietnamese, for a

long time people have got used to depending much on the nature to live and work.

This leads to common wish among Vietnamese people to live in harmony with the

nature and often be out in nature in their daily activities. When it comes to dating,

they also want to spend time with their dating partner joining some outdoors

activities.

As for American, restaurant becomes their common dating place perhaps

because it provides intimate and romantic atmosphere and create chance for two to

get to know each other better. When having meals, they can sit in front of each

Theater/Cinema

Restaurant

Somewhere outdoors

Others

0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70

6.25

12.5

50

31.25

0

62.5

31.25

6.25

Vietnamese male studentsAmerican male students

other and have much time to talk. Food is regarded a good conversation starter in

American' view. These interesting points of a restaurant cannot be found at the

cinema or parks, that is why restaurant is favored by majority of American students

to go on dates.

Dating expense payment (Question 14)

Chart 21. Dating expense payment in VNese and American students' attitudes

The graph compares Vietnamese and American students' attitudes towards

payment on dates. Big difference between attitudes of people from two cultures is

viewed. While 87.5 % surveyed Vietnamese students lay responsibility for payment

on dates on men, only 37.5 % of American counterparts agree with that. Another

noticeable point is that the percentage of American students wants to split the bill

for both to pay is 40.6 %. This figure outnumbers other choices among American

and it is more than fourfold Vietnamese who have same idea (9.4 %). Apart from

these different attitudes, American and Vietnamese students show similarity in

thinking that women do not have to pay all on dates. The researcher see that their

contrastive ideas can be explained basing on some cultural factors.

As for American, they have strong self-reliance. They believe they should

stand on their own feet, live independently from others. American conceive that

they may lose freedom if relying too much on any support. This conception is true

Men Women Split bill Others

0

10

20

30

40

50

60

70

80

90

100

87.5

0

9.43.1

37.5

0

40.6

21.9

Vietnamese studentsAmrican students

in dating as well. Most of American do not want the other to pay all on dates. They

want both genders to be in charge of paying dating expenses. This outcome is in

agreement with the study of Rose and Frieze (1993). These researchers stated that

with the rise of women's movement, men and women are more likely to split the

costs of a date and this empowers women in a dating relationship.

As for Vietnamese, it is common notion from the past that men are usually in

better financial state than women. Moreover, men are said to be more proactive

than women in romantic relationship, so they should pay when they initiate a date

and sometimes even when they are invited. These notions among Vietnamese

people have been changing over time but they do not change much enough to form

a common idea that both should share dating expenses.

Dating purpose (Question 15)

Chart 22. Dating purposes of VNese and American female students

Some differences between American and Vietnamese female students' dating

purposes are shown in the graph. While main dating purpose of most Vietnamese

female students is mate selection, that of American participants is socialization.

68.75 % of surveyed American females date to develop social skills, which is

Socialization Recreation Mate selection Others

0

10

20

30

40

50

60

70

80

25

12.5

50

12.5

68.75

6.25

25

0

Vietnamese female studentsAmerican female students

nearly three times as many as Vietnamese. Half of Vietnamese informants say they

date to select a mate by meeting people in different settings to see whose

characteristics they are compatible with. The percentage of American female

students sharing the same idea with 50% of Vietnamese is only 25 %.

The outcome of the question might originate from different attitude.

Vietnamese people in general always seek for a stable life in which they do not

have to worry much about future. Vietnamese female students, in particular, often

want to have a person to care about and be cared by them, who they can spend their

whole life with after finishing school. Therefore, their main dating purpose is not

just to have fun, but to meet and get to know others, then try to understand them

and see if they are a good match or not. Meanwhile, American is said to have high

sense of freedom. They respect others' freedom and their own as well. Therefore,

American people tend to regard dating something simple and easy, which does not

require much commitment. That is why they take dating as a chance to meet and

talk with a lot of people so that they can develop their own social skills and get

along with different people in many settings. Their primary dating purpose maybe

just as simple as to enjoy and entertain themselves, later they might find out a

suitable person to move on a long-term romantic relationship, but some interviewed

American students share that they do not plan ahead.

Summary of similarities and differences

In summary, studying Vietnamese and American students' dating attitude

helps us understand more about differences and similarities between two dating

cultures and we can draw out some cultural factors affecting their attitude.

Firstly, in terms of age gap, most American male students does not care

much about big difference in age. It is possible for them to date a much older or

younger woman than them. Meanwhile, Vietnamese male students are not

interested in those whose age is too far from theirs. It is perhaps because American

people are more open-minded than Vietnamese about age gap, and the thing really

matters to them is their own feelings towards each other, not outer factors.

However, Vietnamese people suffer from the old notion that a man should only

date younger woman, not older one. In Vietnam, men can be called "the strong"

and women "the weak", so in a couple, man need to be more experienced to protect

"the weak". Nevertheless, it is also uncommon for a man to date a too younger girl

since at that time the relationship is no longer "anh-em" relationship, but "chu-

chau".

Best age to have first date in view of American is also earlier several years than in

Vietnamese's viewpoint.

In terms of communication in dating, the American tend to be more direct

and they are in favor of face-to-face communication, whereas Vietnamese's

indirectness is shown quite clearly when lots of them choose other ways to contact

or interact with their dating partners.

When it comes to dating place, Vietnamese male students are for somewhere

outdoors.

As for dating expenses, while majority of both male and female American

want to split the bill equally, most of Vietnamese think men should pay on dates.

This is because American is highly independent from others and they do not want

to rely too much on somebody, especially rely on finance. American adopt high

sense of individualism. On the contrary, Vietnamese people incline to think that

men are more proactive than women so they should pay when they initiate a date or

sometimes even when they are invited.

Lastly, as for dating purpose, most American female students date to

socialize but main purpose of Vietnamese students is mate selection.

Although quite a lot of differences in dating attitude among Vietnamese and

American students are found, there are some similarities between them in terms of

punctuality on dates and attraction of the opposite gender. Both sides are not very

strictly punctual on dates because young people tend to consider dating a chance to

have fun time and enjoy life first, not something too formal or serious. Female

students from both countries look for a man with good personality, high intellect

and strong sense of humor. These features seem to be appreciated in every culture.

CHAPTER 5: CONCLUSION

5.1. Summary of findings:

5.1.1. Research question 1:

What are dating attitude of American and Vietnamese students in terms of age,

attraction, topics, contact, places, payment and purposes?

Overall, significant results of research questions have been found with the

help of research methodology and data analysis. Firstly, concerning about dating

attitude of American students, they do not care much about big age gap when it

comes to romantic relationship, so it is possible for both American males and

females to date a person who is either much older or much younger than them.

Most of them believe that they should date at the age range from 14 to 18.

American students are confident most about their personality to attract others and

they also care most about personality when choosing a dating partner. Besides,

American male students concern much about women's physical appearance, and

female students incline to fall for intelligent and humorous men.

American are in favor of directness in communication, that is why most of

them choose to ask a person directly to invite him/her out and they also give a

definite yes/no when being asked for a date. The majority of American male

students will ask a woman for a date right away if they like her, but most of female

students choose to wait for the man they like to ask them out. Both of two genders

after being contacted by the person they fall for will contact back later the same

day, without waiting for a further contact. Most of American students will never

contact a person again to ask for a date after being refused once time.

Common interests are picked up as the most suitable topic to talk on dates. In

terms of punctuality on dates, American male students seem to be more punctual

than females, most of them come to dating places on time but one-third surveyed

American female students say they often arrive a little bit late.

Males tend to date at restaurants but somewhere outdoors is preferable to

females. As for dating expenses, in most cases, either men will pay or they will

split the bill equally. The majority of American students date for the purpose of

socialization.

As for Vietnamese students, most of males will not date a much older

woman than them, but to females, they may date a much older man than them.

When it comes to dating a much younger person, the other way around is seen. The

majority of Vietnamese female students will absolutely not involve in that kind of

relationship but to males, that may happen. Both of two sexes think best time to

have first date is post-secondary school, when they are beyond 18 years old.

Vietnamese students think their personality is their strength to attract others

and they also care most about the opposite sex's personality.

To invite somebody out, Vietnamese students tend to ask that person

directly. Other common way to invite among Vietnamese students are calling and

sending messages. When a Vietnamese male student like a girl, they will ask her

for a date right away but female students want to wait for some contacting signals

from the man they like first. However, male and female students share same

attitudes towards the situation of being contacted by a person they like. They will

contact back later the same day. When being asked for a date, the majority of

Vietnamese male students will give a definite answer but females choose not to

reply right away. Vietnamese male students will contact a woman they like again

after being refused once time when they ask her for a date, but most of female

students do not want to contact that person again. On dates, while males believe

that current events and their dating partner's interests are most suitable topic, most

females want to discuss about common interests among them.

The majority of Vietnamese male students come to dating places a little

early, most of females arrive on times or a little late. Both of Vietnamese male and

female students think somewhere outdoors is an ideal place for a date.

On dates, men are responsible for paying most of the time. In Vietnam, the

majority of students date for socialization and mate selection.

5.1.2. Research question 2:

What are the similarities and differences of dating attitude among American and

Vietnamese students?

In general, Vietnamese and American students adopt dating attitude

differently in terms of age gap, directness, dating places, dating payment, and

dating purposes. Students from two cultures share similar attitudes towards

punctuality and attractive features of the opposite sex. (see more details in

"Summary of similarities and differences" in chapter 4)

5.1.3. Research question 3:

What cultural factors affecting these differences can be drawn out?

These differences among Vietnamese and American students' dating

attitudes can be explained by some cultural factors. American people seem to be

more open-minded in romantic relationships than Vietnamese. Meanwhile, in

Vietnam there is an old notion remained that a man should only date younger

women and big age gap easily lead to failure in relationships. That is why

American does not care much about age gap in dating, but Vietnamese does.

American people are also said to adopt directness in communication. That is

true in dating as well when they usually so straight to the point rather than beating

around the bush like Vietnamese way. This explains for some attitudinal

differences among Vietnamese and American in dating contacts.

In terms of dating places, Vietnamese students tend to choose somewhere

outdoors to be close to nature and fresh air. This results from a traditional value

that Vietnamese people often wish to be in harmony with nature, which originates

from agricultural traditions.

On dates, most American people prefer splitting the bill equally because they

have strong self-reliance. They do not want to be dependent on anyone but

themselves, so it must be equal between two sexes when it comes to dating expense

payment. But Vietnamese suppose that men are more proactive than women so

they should pay for all dating expenses.

While socialization is main dating purpose of most American students, a

large number of Vietnamese think they date for mate selection. This might be

because Vietnamese people want to have a stable family life soon, and they make

use of the time at universities to try to meet different people in different settings

and to see if they are compatible with each other or not. Thanks to that, dating

helps them have long-term relationships. Meanwhile, American tend to live for

present. Their primary purpose is to have fun time together when dating and at the

same time, they can develop their social skills in different settings. Afterwards,

they might find out their soul mates among dating partners, but that is not planned

ahead.

5.2. Implication:

Theoretically, the study can supplement some aspects to studies relating to

dating attitude. Although there have been a lot of research on American dating

attitude but there is lack of studies on dating attitude among American university

students. It is also hard to find recent studies on Vietnamese dating attitude towards

attraction of the opposite sex, ways to contact in dating, punctuality, dating expense

payment and dating purposes. Moreover, this is the first time dating attitude of

American students is compared and contrasted with Vietnamese students' dating

attitude. Therefore, the research helps to uncover these sides.

Additionally, the outcome of this research can serve as reference for other

studies. There might be some researcher interested in this issue and conduct more

research on it, therefore the current study can help provide background of the issue

together with related studies so far.

Practically, in the first place, the study can raise the awareness in English

Language teaching. There has not been any practical learning materials designed

for learning English through investigating students' dating attitude. This interesting

topic is believed to attract students' attention, which inspires them to learn English

in a creative way, and to know more about cultures of English speaking countries

in general, and America in particular. Moreover, the study can be adapted to

conduct a discussion among students in cross-cultural communication classes.

Secondly, the research helps raise the awareness among American and

Vietnamese students in real-life communication. In details, they are able to access

information about dating attitude of both genders and clarify similarities and

differences between two dating cultures. By having an insight into an interesting

aspect of culture, students from two countries will enrich their communication

skills. The outcome of this study is especially useful for American students

learning in Vietnam and vice versa. Knowledge gained from this research helps

students know what they should take notice of, what their counterparts think, what

the others expect from them and what is considered to be suitable to do in a dating

relationship. Thanks to that, students will be able to avoid the breakdown of

relationships which might be caused by cultural misunderstanding in classroom

settings as well as in social settings.

5.3. Limitation of the study:

In spite of the researcher's great effort to conduct this study in the best way,

it is inevitable to have some limitations. Firstly, limited time prevents the author

from carrying out the study more intensively. This causes some aspects of this issue

to be narrowed down. Secondly, the lack of sharply analytic and synthetic

competency hampers the researcher from achieving more hidden meanings of

collected data.

Last but not least, the deficiency of American participants at approachable

places around Hanoi limits the samplings to 32 for each country only. This might

make the results base on subjective ideas of a small percentage of American

students in Hanoi and some in America. This obstacle can be solved if the

researcher has better social contacts.

5.4. Recommendation for further studies:

Due to a lot of limitations of this study, the researcher would like to

recommend further studies to overcome its weaknesses and supplement what has

not been done in the field. Studies about dating attitude afterwards can be

conducted with bigger samplings so that the outcome will become more reliable

and applicable. Apart from some small aspects of dating attitude studied in this

research, there are many other sides to be explored, namely languages used by

males and females in dating, parental influence on youngsters' choice of dating

partners, sexual harassment in dating, or the aspect of physical contacts in dating,

which the researcher planned to put in this study but could not for several reasons.

In conclusion, the research on "A Vietnamese-American cross-cultural study

on dating attitude among college students" solved three given research questions.

However, it is far to be perfect. Therefore, the researcher expects to receive

constructive contribution from the readers.

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http://www.ecu.edu/Intlaffairs/americanculture.cfm#3 http://www.vietnamadventures.com/language_culture/dating.html

http://www.vietmedia.com/culture/?L=dating.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speed_dating http://www.vietnamwomen.biz/vietnamese-courtship-customs.htm

APPENDIX 1Survey Questionnaire

I am To Thi Huyen Thuong, a forth- year student come from class 061E8, English Department- HULIS- VNU. I am conducting my thesis paper whose title is “A Vietnamese-American cross- cultural study on dating attitudes of college students”. This study is an attempt to help college students understand more about their own viewpoint towards dating and their dating partners’ ways of thinking as well. Additionally, students from American and Vietnamese culture can have an insight into an interesting aspect of culture and gain more knowledge about this issue to fulfill their social life. This survey questionnaire aims at seeking data for the study. All of your personal information will be kept confidentially. Your reliable answers will be highly appreciated.

Thank you very much for your contribution!

Personal information:1. Your gender: Male □

Female □2. Your age:……….3. The number of years you study at college:…….4. Have you ever dated someone? Yes □

No □

Dating AgeQuestion 1: Would you date a woman/man who is much older than you?

1. Definitely yes2. Yes3. Maybe4. No5. Definitely no

Question 2: Would you date a woman/ man who is much younger than you?1. Definitely yes2. Yes3. Maybe4. No5. Definitely no

Question 3: What is the best age to have first date?

1. Below senior high school (<14)2. Senior high school (14-18)3. Post-secondary school (>18)

AttractionQuestion 4: What is your strength to attract the opposite sex most?

1. Physical appearance2. Intellect3. Money4. Humor5. Personality6. Others (please specify)..............................

Question 5: What is the feature of the opposite sex you look for most?1. Physical appearance2. Intellect3. Money4. Humor5. Personality6. Others (please specify)...............................

ContactQuestion 6: What way do you think is the best to invite somebody out?

4. Call him/her5. Email him/her6. Send messages to him/her7. Ask him/her directly

Question 7: When you like someone, you will:1. Ask him/her for a date right away2. Wait for him/her to ask you for a date3. Other (please specify)..........................................................

Question 8: If a man/woman who you like contacts you, you will:1. Contact him/her back later the same day2. Wait a few days before contacting him/her back3. Wait until he/she contacts you again4. Other (please specify).........................................................

Question 9: When being asked for a date, you willGive a definite yes or noNot answer immediatelyOther (please specify).........................................................

Question 10: If you contact someone to ask for a date and he/she refuses, what will you do?

1. Contact him/her again2. Never contact him/her again3. Other (please specify).........................................................

Topics

Question 11: What is the best topic to discuss with your partner on dates?1. Current events2. Your interests3. His/Her interests4. Common interests5. Others (please specify)........................................................

PunctualityQuestion 12: On dates, you arrive

on timea little earlya little late

Dating PlacesQuestion 13: Where is the best place for dates?

1. Theater/ Cinema2. Restaurant3. Somewhere outdoors (park, etc)4. Others (please specify)......................................................

Dating Expense PaymentQuestion 14: Who should pay for dates?

1. person invited (male)2. person invited (female)3. person be invited (male)4. person be invited (female)5. the bill should be split equally

Dating PurposesQuestion 15: What is your main purpose of dating?

1. socialization2. recreation3. mate selection4. Other (please specify).........................................

Do you want to receive the outcome of the study?

If yes, please write down your email address:...............................................

THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION

APPENDIX 2BẢNG CÂU HỎI ĐIỀU TRA

Tôi là Tô Thị Huyền Thương, sinh viên năm thứ 4, lớp 061E8, Khoa Anh, trường Đại học Ngoại Ngữ- Đại học Quốc gia Hà Nội. Tôi đang làm khóa luận tốt nghiệp với nhan đề "Nghiên cứu giao thoa văn hóa Việt- Mỹ về cách nhìn đối với việc hẹn hò của sinh viên các trường đại học, cao đẳng". Nghiên cứu này nhằm mục đích giúp sinh viên hiểu thêm về quan điểm, cách nhìn của chính họ và của các người bạn khác giới về việc hẹn hò trong giới trẻ ngày nay. Hơn nữa, sinh viên đến từ các nền văn hóa Mỹ và văn hóa Việt Nam có thể có thêm kiến thức về một mảng khá thú vị của văn hóa, làm giàu thêm vốn kiến thức xã hội cho bản thân. Bảng câu hỏi điều tra này nhằm mục đích thu thập số liệu cho nghiên cứu. Các thông tin cá nhân của các bạn sẽ được hoàn toàn giữ bí mật.

Xin chân thành cám ơn!

Thông tin cá nhân:1. Giới tính: Nam

Nữ2. Tuổi:......................3. Số năm bạn đã học ở trường đại học/cao đẳng:.................4. Bạn đã từng hẹn hò lần nào chưa? Rồi

Chưa

Tuổi1. Bạn có hẹn hò với một người nhiều hơn bạn rất nhiều tuổi không?A. Chắc chắn cóB. CóC. Có thểD. Không

E. Chắc chắn không

2. Bạn có hẹn hò với một người ít hơn bạn rất nhiều tuổi không?A. Chắc chắn cóB. CóC. Có thểD. KhôngE. Chắc chắn không

3. Theo bạn, tuổi thích hợp nhất để bắt đầu hẹn hò là khi nào?A. < 14 tuổi (chưa đến cấp học phổ thông)B. 14-18 tuổi (học sinh phổ thông trung học)C. > 18 tuổi (sinh viên)

Sự thu hút4. Điểm mạnh nhất của bạn để thu hút người khác phái là gì?A. Ngoại hìnhB. Sự thông minhC. Tiền bạcD. Sự hài hướcE. Tính cáchF. Những cái khác (nói rõ)...............................

5. Điểm nào của người khác phái thu hút bạn nhất?A, Ngoại hìnhB. Sự thông minhC. Tiền bạcD. Sự hài hướcE. Tính cáchF. Những cái khác (nói rõ).................................

Liên lạc/Giao tiếp6. Theo bạn, cách tốt nhất để mời một người đi chơi là gì?A. Gọi điện cho người ấyB. Viết email cho người ấyC. Gửi tin nhắn cho người ấyD. Mời người ấy trực tiếp

7. Khi bạn thích một người nào đó, bạn sẽ:A. Mời ngay người đó đi chơi với bạnB. Đợi người đó mời bạn đi chơi

8. Nếu một người bạn thích liên lạc với bạn, bạn sẽ:A. Liên lạc lại ngay trong cùng ngày hôm đóB. Đợi một vài ngày sau rồi mới liên lạc lạiC. Đợi cho đến khi người đó liên lạc tiếp với bạn

9. Khi được mời đi chơi, bạn sẽA. Trả lời rõ ràng ngay là đồng ý hay không đồng ýB. Không trả lời ngay

10. Nếu bạn mời ai đó đi chơi nhưng người ấy từ chối, bạn sẽ:A. Liên lạc lại để mờiB. Không bao giờ mời nữa

Chủ đề11. Theo bạn, trong các cuộc hẹn hò thì chủ đề phù hợp nhất để nói chuyện là gì?A. Các sự kiện đang diễn raB. Các mối quan tâm của bạnC. Các mối quan tâm của người ấyD. Các mối quan tâm chungE. Những cái khác (nói rõ)............................

Thời gian12. Trong các cuộc hẹn hò, bạn nên đến:A. Đúng giờB. Sớm một chútC. Muộn một chút

Địa điểm13. Theo bạn, nơi nào là phù hợp nhất cho một cuộc hẹnA. Rạp chiếu phimB. Nhà hàng/quán ănC. Một địa điểm ngoài trời (như công viên)D. Những nơi khác (xin nói rõ)................................Thanh toán14. Theo bạn, ai nên trả tiền trong các cuộc hẹn? (bạn có thể chọn nhiều hơn một)A. Người mời là nữB. Người mời là namC. Người được mời là nữD. Người được mời là namE. Chia đôi hóa đơnMục đích15. Mục đích của việc hẹn hò của bạn là gì?A. Giao lưu, hòa nhập xã hộiB. Giải tríC. Lựa chọn bạn đờiD. Những lý do khác (xin chỉ rõ)..........................

CÁM ƠN CÁC BẠN ĐÃ HỢP TÁC!Link to the online survey questionnaire:

http://FreeOnlineSurveys.com/rendersurvey.asp?sid=ig2uudvzyjyat1l742502

APPENDIX 3

Interview Questions

1. Are you dating? Or have you ever dated? What do you do? Where do you meet?2. Do you think it is all right to date without commitment? (date just for entertainment or recreation)3. What is your main purpose of dating? (socialization/ recreation/ mate selection/ others)4. In your culture, who usually pays for dates? men or women? On your own dates, who usually pays for dates?5. In your opinion, what is best age to have first date? Why? At what age do people in your country often have first date?6. What is the feature of the opposite sex you look for most? Please state your reasons.7. When being asked for a date, you will give a definite yes/no or you won't answer immediately (or other choice)? Why?8. When you contact someone to ask for a date and he/she refuses, what will you do?