a loose portrait of body

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Surrealistic poetry and illustrations.

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Page 1: A Loose Portrait of Body
Page 2: A Loose Portrait of Body
Page 3: A Loose Portrait of Body
Page 4: A Loose Portrait of Body
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a n o v e r t u r e t o t h e d i s s o l u t i o n o f f o r m

the obscure always vibrates with inspiration and energy far more than the obvious. finding a treasure independently, a revelation, a conclusion, an interpretation, will always have the most endurance. finding positivity in negativity, finding harmony in dissonance, finding connectivity in detachment, etc.. the meanings are there for you to take or leave. the giant underlying explanation, the massive and bold “why?” are found in the same pile of never-was and never-will. • channeled as a whole (a stream of subconscious that was sliced into individual fragments) no meanings were built with conscious intention, it was a venture of surrealist automatism – a source of true art. tune in through stillness, like nature, lubricate your soul then slowly slide it into the moment and feel the climaxes unfold. the foundation of this architecture was built unintentionally tight, structured, and choreographed (caged creativity) then as it progressed these metaphorical bricks soon turned into spirals, the hissing static antennas pitched to the formless frequency. this was when all material identification, the rooms without doors, slowly dissolved into the loose, the free, and the improvised (liberated creativity) concluding all construction and left

with one hell of a building (a book of poetry, illustrations and music)

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v o i d i s m : m o v e m e n t o n e

Page 7: A Loose Portrait of Body

a l o o s e p o r t r a i t o f b o d y

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poetry and ‘an overture to dissolution of form’ by calvin markus

fifty illustrations by jessica jax and calvin markus

instrumental soundscape: an overture followed by four movementsto be played while reading or whenever preferable

musical overture by morgan henderson four movements by dead times (travis bunn, calvin markus, vincent liou)

(printed with recycled paper)calvinmarkus.com // voidism.com // morganhenderson.com

thank you and enjoy

Page 9: A Loose Portrait of Body

i dug my nails into the pavement until my nails became my armsuntil my arms became my head

until my head became my stomachuntil my stomach became my knees until my feet became the pavement

until the pavement became me

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Page 11: A Loose Portrait of Body

i woke upas a flattened skull

in the middle of a highway roadwhen no one was around

i shoveled my head from the ground i peeled back layers of a thick black nostalgic rust i found a collection of a sharp wet neglected lust

nausea paddled out of my mouth in a vomit stained boatnausea lassoed a storm cloud and dragged it out of my throat

i felt hopei up-shirted it’s sun rays

i deep-throated it’s new daysuntil everything turned greyuntil everything decayed

and hope’s erection went limpbitter shrivel and crimp

i wandered the useless streetsthe streets wandered a useless me

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Page 13: A Loose Portrait of Body

a symphony of lifean orchestra of lies

between the turning of gaggingand the vibrating of god

is when you will count the blood on the shore that hooks you up to the single unimportant layer of radiating muck

war paint splattered over a dilemma unsolvedall’s well ends

the damage done to the source of malfunctioning deathswill converse with your least favorite moments or memories or the future

together, getting together, that connect family with all the fucking annoying echoes that leak spontaneously every time you wear a mask to friday nights

or christmas dinners. do you wear a mask or are you a mask?

temporarywe will last forever if we are forever at last

we’re always alivewe’re always dead

we’re always awakewe’re always asleep

if i continue will you say “i saw that coming”?birth is deathdeath is birthlife is limbo

i saw that coming

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if life is a play then you’ve been fucking up your lines every single daya bent life delayed

i will re-think every thoughtholy stars

a hole in a starpry open your chapped lips and empty your mouth like a vent

pry open the stellar void and fill it’s mouth with cementyou aren't missing out

but you are missing and no one is lookingnot even yourself

will you love me and hold me like the ungodly amount of possible antics that rage from disaster or deleted fates

i am a block of blue dust next to a block of orange wood stabbed and unresponsive

a young woman in her early twenties who sits in every single brain and presses play

anxious or bitterit won’t turn off

keep the window open let the breeze flood the room drown us in ex-fresh air

you can exhale all the sorrows but you’ll breath it back in

and it’s back tomorrowit’s always back tomorrow

turn your back on tomorrowwalk backwards through life and never open your eyes

just think about cherries and antibioticsuntil you bump into a man wearing all yellow and a parachute

waiting for the giant voidthe end of days

the beginning of endlessnessspit and hiss leaving songsveins tense and slither away

without you? or...

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i watched every relation manifest into a single dull framecrooked and hardly hanging on a sad wall

where dusk and dawn fondled each other to the point of sick gropinga hideous shopping mall built on top of shakespeare's grave

to remind that no matter how great we arewe will never be saved

how great we are!we will never be saved

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Page 19: A Loose Portrait of Body

this is where it startsevolve with the tides

we are scab on top of the oceanand soon enough we will be picked off

because patience is key right?but the key was swallowed and disintegrated in stomach acid

beyond long agohow do you give life to something that exists?

how do you give existence to something that’s alive?deep think

eruh....

continuebut you can’t hold your breath long enough to stay out of the shallowthree to fourteen hour days of staring into the mirror until you come to

some sort of conclusion that slowly solves something in-between fantasies and bulky dramas that haunt and gut your favorite moments

of monstrosity that you and everyone try to ignore but love the fact that you are amongst the few hollow people who bounce off of

lightning from custard futon spit windsbecause of you there is a sign of

lie or life or like

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drain your eyes of all the times you were left behindnaked and alone in a throbbing desert

one sock in your left handone razor in your right hand

cover up or give upbecause the vicinity of old cavities

swallow sober cops with drunk thoughtsdon’t think

become a vice for the unholybecome a dice

make every step a result of a rollsix stepsfour steps one step

untilthe

clock

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Page 23: A Loose Portrait of Body

deep dramatic dents don’t decaynostalgia’s legs open wide

a moment to stuff it with every ounce of indecisionstuff it with regrets and lifelong debts

until nostalgia gives birth to a giant ball with pale skin made out of mistakes

and dark greasy hair made out distasteit just rolls around your room and moans

“i'm only you”so you fry it and feed it to your temporary friends and run

until you are so free that gravity scoots over

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the morning is purple and greywonderartificial reflectionsover the counterculturessorrow is festering at the dinner table it’s thoughts are edibleeat drooluntil you can finally see how unattractive irrelevance ish e a r m ebut don’t listendoes faith have a taste?does it climax on your face?if you do everything the right way-does it tell you exactly what to say?the walls cave in with our headsdoes everyone get an ovationat the end of hardly thinking?no but if you connect the limbs of failed gods with a needle spun with wet thread then you will have everything left you just pressed restart in a rewound world where everything is so easily vacant so roughly fulldescent disease the scent of _____

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Page 27: A Loose Portrait of Body

the bottom of the deepest oceanin a small cave made of hair

where unfound species shower in infrared rainbowseverything is another dull metaphor

for something spectacular in the sky that’s going to smile so hard

that it grinds it’s teeth into it’s gums and doesn’t return

everagain

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waiting and frayingsucked by bad habits that never gathered and moved outminus the noose with numbers so many flowers built us around the slice in the window seals shut in your eyelids the headache that pinches your left temple until something else tunes intelevision gambling or soap opera porn rigsstatic throbs in yellow out of a strange shape put meaning into meput me into meaning

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Page 31: A Loose Portrait of Body

dissonance poured into the starving mouths of structure hollow metaphors in a cloud puff of logic heaven has long gone corporate holy sell outs humming golden hymns then a swarm of orange nightmares filter in and entangle everything in pulsing obscurity wrapping every sound wave with coiled chaos in a black hissing spiral unwinding for the first time from previous thoughts in a boring drought the widows have dug their final hole to bury the patchwork of candle wax in the shape of smirks leaking relief mental noise pitched slowly down three midnight crunching octaves are we are bored or sad or tired? which is when despair eats itself alive left staring at the night’s juicy constellation like chartroom lips we manifest in the minds of the misunderstood, where are you going with this? jump rope your way out with a strand made of smashed windshields and ground teeth that’s glued and wound let’s gut the sound and leave the wavelengths limping discovering our new souls pulsing like universal erections you can find my phantom writing old thoughts in blue chalk decorating detachment with comforting reefs and wallpaper that deteriorates prior to sleep so we can finally sway together in the modern breeze like deep breaths on endless repeat global impostors shattered and scattered like ashes across shallow marble floors of empty pools where the young grind up blurred letters or let their fingers pound them into a sign post existence gushing muscle tantrums and manically flicking lights off and on crumpled kisses shoved into pockets for further use leaving dormant codes that will never mind the territory till it’s back to description screens burnt thumbs hoping to stick out in a crowd but everyone else has done the same as you and bandages will be factorized and enslaved in biologic liquid orgasms shimmering between what once was and what will be but this negativity won’t glow so re-route us and leave corn covered chords with no connection to doubt leave the fragile moments that will never snap or tremble like the neck of the past or meaningful hints that are smacked and laughed at once the toxic devil solves nothing for you but isn’t it that the deeper the thought then the deeper the grave no at all actually until we find each other in a unborn country song that we will never listen to because we don’t like that type of music although at least if we shave the thighs of the sky then the hair will pour down as rain with comic relief while we will open our mouths and wait for a drop to swim down our throats while the sparkle of collective eyes fondle asymmetry v ib ra t i ng compos i t i ons w i th t ime less p rec i s ion and w i t

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Page 33: A Loose Portrait of Body

we’ re on ly hear to he lp you and other l i eswe’ re on ly here to use you and other c r iesdecap i ta ted n ights lubr ica ted wi th n ightmare tentac less ink in to me unt i l we are back as mudthe sor rows unknown miserab ly sk ip rocks over sh i t s ta ined watercrammed nanny in jec t ionb lack and wh i te ch i ld ren res ignat ionf ragments o f shat te red chat te rle t ’s so i l our pants and p lant them l ike seedsth is i s your las t chance to l i ck the l imbo out o f your l i fecorsets f i l l the c loset l i ke heaven has canker soresfa t fa i lu re gets se l f consc ious out o f supp l ies to h ide f rom s tage l ightsa lone and can’t ho ld onto to anyth ing but a s tee l po le when the w ind becomes a th rash ing co ldsor ry wr i t ten on canvas made out o f ann ih i la t ionwatch me wa lk out o f the room wi th your eyes c losed windows watch ing every movementpromis ing scenery an a f fa i r w i th the moondefy l y ing on i t ’s s ide f l i ck ing c rumbs o ff o f a bed made o f p rogress ing l ino leumdr i f t ing in to tox ic coff ins under concrete cour tswhere dreams were abor t ionsexp i re l i ke the types o f a rous ing scanda ls that were cough ing and gnawing on a g iant mouthtears pu l led out l i ke th ick th read ‘ fo r you’ wr i t ten on a smal l scrap o f newspaper ma i l i t to everyone that needs i t wh ich is everyone and every th ingeraser burns on a wor ld gr inn ing w i th anc ient agony moan ing fo r centur iesthe l imb ic so la r sys temevery p lanet i s a howl ing wo l fechoes le f t scra tch ing and s ta rv ingf ind mebut we’ re both wa i t ing fo r each other r ight? s tand ing in one p lacef ind me

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Page 35: A Loose Portrait of Body

en te rthe i nb red unsa id

t he sec re t son gave b i r th to i t se l f

on a sh r i l l s l i de down th r i l l s lopes

where you s l ip i l l ou t o f sympathy

p l ease don ’ t go f i ne go

no don ’ t p l ease s tay

wa i t no s top

ex i t

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Page 37: A Loose Portrait of Body

t o g e t h e r w e r i p e n l i k e s o l d i e r s i n c o f f i n c o l d f i e l d st h e y l o o k u p t o p l u g t h e i r e y e s b u t s e e s h o o t i n g s t a r s a n d i t r u i n s t h e re s t o fw h a t ’s l e f t ? r i g h t , l e f tb e s i d e s . w e . a re . a n y t h i n g . b u t .

w h a t ?n u c l e a r c o m b o v e r s a s t e e l f e n c e

c l i p p e d n a i l s g l u e d t o b a r b e d w i re e v e n i f t h e g e n e r a t i o n d e f e c t e d

t h e w a r s y r i n g e s w e re e re c t e di m m u n e l i k e t h e m o o n

i f y o u ’ re l a t et h e n w e ’ re t o o s o o n

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Page 39: A Loose Portrait of Body

b a l c o n y e d g e s f i l l e d w i t h a l m o s t o v e rd i v i d i n g t h e m u l t i p l e v a c a t i o n s w a r m s h o u l d e r m u l t i p l i c a t i o nb u r y i n g k i d s i n t h e s a n d a n d t a k i n g p i c t u re sd i g g i n g t h e m o u t t h e n s a y i n g ‘ b e g r a t e f u l ’e v e n t h e a n g e l s a re s i c k a n d b o re d o f n o t e x i s t i n gt h e y w a l k i n c i r c l e s h o p i n g t h a t t h e y t r i p c a t c h m e h e l d a g g re s s i v e l y

s q u e e z e u n t i l i s n a p i ’ l l s t i l l h a v e m y s i l v e r w i n g s

l e f t i n t h e s u n t o r u s t b a c k i n t o d u s t t h a t y o u w i l l s p r i n k l e o n t o n e w b o r n s

l i k e s a l t , t o o m u c h c a n k i l l y o u

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Page 41: A Loose Portrait of Body

hard knocktough lives that are turned into movies

that we all wish were our own because we sat for so long

that every limb fell asleep a wife tells tales on repeat

the same story of a living abortionto every possible listenerfiction fucks her dull life

over and over till she cums out of her eyes

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Page 43: A Loose Portrait of Body

s t s a l s i h t e p o h it s a p e h t h t i w y a w a g n i t l e m

s s a l g d e r e t t a h s n i t u o d e l l e p s

h a l l o w e e n k i s s e s y o u o n t h e m o u t hf o u r s e a s u n d o n ea n a l l y o u c a n e a t e c o n o m ys h i t w e a l t h t a x o n o m y

a d e l i c a t e d e e p e n d i n g

a s p l o t c h o f i n k

a s t h e e a r t h ’s s e l f - p o r t r a i t

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Page 45: A Loose Portrait of Body

l i k e y e s t e r d a y w a s b r e a t h i n g i n d u s t s t a r i n g a t a b r i g h t l i g h t

t o d a y i s a s n e e z e t o m o r r o w i s a b l e s s y o u

t h e n e x t d a y i s a t h a n k y o uw h a t t h e f u c k i s y o u r p o i n t q u e s t i o n m a r k

r i t u a l s t h a t n e v e r d e c a y n o m a t t e r h o w b a d t h e y r e e k o r s t a i no n t h e m o o n g r e y c r u m p l e d s l i d e s h o w se x a m b i t i o n s t i e d l i k e t w i n et h e s e a m s o f r e a l i t yh a r d l y s e w nb u t i t d o e s n ’ t s h o w

d i d i l e a v e m y m a s k i n t h e c a ro r a r e y o u s t i l l w e a r i n g i t ?

s l o w l y t u r n i n g i n t o p i n k o r b l a c k s c a t t e r e d s u n s e t sw e w i l l b e c o m e l u n g s

f u l l o f h o r s e h o o v e s a n d g l i t t e r h a p p y f a m i l y w a r m n e s s b l o w n o u tl e t t h e h o u s e f a l l t o t h e g r o u n d i n s t e a d o f y o um i s h e a r d c h e e r i n g f o r j e e r i n ga p u d d l e t h a t g a t h e r s i n c l o t s t h e n c u r e s d i s e a s e s n o o n e h a st r a g e d y f e s t e r s

Page 46: A Loose Portrait of Body
Page 47: A Loose Portrait of Body

t h e u n i v e r s e h u m s r e g u r g i t a t e d b y r a d i a t i o n

a b l a c k h o l e s i t s i n y o u r s k u l l w i t h o u t a g u nb a p t i z e d w i t h s p a c e

t h e u n i v e r s e s a v e sw i s e o l d m e n s u c k i n g t h e i r t h u m b sa s t h e v o i d p e e l s t h e m i n t o n o t h i n g

f u n s o u n d s f o r e v e r n u m bb l e e d i n g e v e r y t i m e y o u t a l k

l i k e m u s h f r o m ‘ t h i s i s m y f i r s t t i m e ’a p o u n d o f s a n d a n d v o d k a

f o r d r u n k s a n d c a s t l e s o f y o u r d r e a m h o m ed r i p p i n g t r a n s p a r e n t i n k f r o m v i s i o n a r y p r o j e c t i o n s

i w a n t y o u t o . . . o h w e l l o r i l o v e y o u p l e a s e j u s t . . . o h w e l l

p l e n t y o f g a t e s t o k e e p u s s a f e f r o m n o o n eo u t i s s u e d a r k g r e y s t e a m

u n b r e d a c c i d e n t s o f i n t e n t i o n s m a d e c l e a rb u t s t i l l h o l l o w

d o n ’ t w h i t h e r a w a y f r o m m e

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Page 49: A Loose Portrait of Body

t h e t h e a t e r o f l u c i d w a xa s c r e e n w e e p i n g o r s o b b i n g o r c r y i n g

s o o n e n o u g h t h e g r a v e l a n d d i r t a n d s a n dc o v e r e d i n a s h e s o f u n f o r t u n a t e a n d c o u l d - h a v e - b e e n - w o r s e d e a t h sm i x e d i n t o a c o l o r l e s s s o i l i n s e c t s a n d c h i l d r e n t h e c o r n e r s t o n e o f w e a l t h m e e t m e i n t h e s a c k o f p u b l i c p u d d i n g d e s p i s e o f e v e r y s e c o n d l u s t e v e r y m o m e n t i n s e c u r i t y k e e p s i t ’s c o a t t h i c k

l u b e u p t h e t r u t h s o i t ’s e a s i e r t o s w a l l o w b l a c k a n d w h i t e w e d d i n g p o r t r a i t h a l v e s

a g o n y s a l a d a n d t r a u m a s o u p i n f e c t u s w i t h s i g h s

s u c k e d s o d r y t h e d i r t s h i v e r s

a l a t e p a i r o f e y e sv i e w p o i n t c o l l e c t i o n s i n t o o n e

a g h o s t o f r i d i c u l o u s p a s t d e a d c l o c k s

h o t l o s s c o l d c i t y

u n d e r g a r m e n t s o f t h e g e n e t i c a l l y d i s e a s e d

u n d r e s s i n g a s n e e z eo v e r t i m e g l u e d t o g e t h e r a m o n d a y b r e a t h o f g l a m

Page 50: A Loose Portrait of Body
Page 51: A Loose Portrait of Body

b a c k y a r d o f s u d d e n d d d d d dr r r r r ro o o o o op p p p p pp

w h e r e t h e w o o d s s p e a k i n s p o o k s s h a d o w s i n f i n i t e o a k

d o w n a s l o p e o f m i d n i g h t m u d a n d l a s t s u m m e r f i t i n f r i e n d s w i t h p l a s t i c r i f f l e s

a t t h e b o t t o m o r e n d b e h i n d a p i l l a r m a d e o f i c a n h a r d l y m o v e

a n d i d o n ’ t w a n t t o p l a y t i l l t h e t i d e s m i l e s a t t h e m o o n

w i t h p e r f e c t t e e t h t h e n t h e o c e a n f i l l s t h e g a p a n d t h e w a r p r h y t h m i s o v e r

Page 52: A Loose Portrait of Body
Page 53: A Loose Portrait of Body

a y o u n g m o u t h d r i p p i n g o f t h i c k w h i t e t r e e s a pe a c h s u n r a y w e a v e d i n b e t w e e n e v e r y p o r et r a f f i c n a i l s a l i n e w a i t i n g f o r r e d e m p t i o nb o d y s l i c k l e t ’ s c r y i n o d d t i m e p e r s i s t e n c e i n f i v e / e i g h t d e m o t e d m e t r o n o m e s

t h e c o l o r o f m y s i nb l u e l i e s

g r e y a f f a i r sg r e e n b l a s p h e m y

t a s t e t h e s o u r c r o s s r e i n d e e r a n t l e r s m a d e o f t o r n o u t b i b l e p a g e s

t h e c h o r d o f l i f e s t a n d i n g i n l i n e f o r a n o u t l e ts t r a n d e d i n t h e s t r i n g s t i e d t i g h t l y l i k e s i l e n c es n i p s n i p s n i p t h e s t r a n d s o f t i m el i m b b y l i m b y o u ’ r e s p r i n k l e d i n t o t h e c o l o r l e s s s o i l

Page 54: A Loose Portrait of Body
Page 55: A Loose Portrait of Body

c r a c k ! h e a d b e l o w t h e s e r v i c e d e s k a c o n s c i o u s m o r e a w a k e i n d r e a m sm y v o i c e i n y o u r e a r n e v e r l e a v e s a u d i o t h r o u g h t h e v e n t c o n n e c t i n g s o u n dw i t h d u s t a n d w e b s

a f a v o r i t e s o n g p r a c t i c e d f o r y e a r si n t h e g r a s s b y t h e g r e y

p l a y e d h o r r i b l y o u t o f t u n e t h e f r i e n d s

t h e f a m i l yt h e p a s t o r

t o r e g r a s s f r o m t h e g r o u n d u s e d i t t o p l u g t h e i r e a r s

t h e n h u m m e d a s l o u d a s t h e y c o u l dm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm m

Page 56: A Loose Portrait of Body
Page 57: A Loose Portrait of Body

a p a c k o f w e r e w o l v e s f r o m t h e m i d n i g h t m o o n s l i p p e d i n t o y o u r d r i n k

i f t h i s i s i t t h e n w e s h o u l d . . .

h o l d o n e x i l ew e ’ r e r u n n i n g i n p l a c et h e b r e e z e a s d e a t h b r e a t h t h e m o o n a s d r e a m b o a t

s i m m e r i n g h e a r t t h r o b o n a g r i l l d r y y o u r e y e s w i t h t i s s u e

f l e s h t e a r s f l o w

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Page 59: A Loose Portrait of Body

s a d t h r i l l ss p i l l o u t t h e a c h e

s u c k i n g o n t h e u t t e r o f d i s a p p o i n t m e n ts o c i e t y s e x

a n o r g y o f h o w i t s h o u l d n ’ t b e a n o r g y o f d a r k b e g i n n i n g sb r i g h t m i d d l e sd i m e n d i n g sd i s s e c t i n g t i m e b y m a n i p u l a t i n g t h e n i g h t a t u b e o f h e a d s t h a t c o u l d n ’ t w r a p a r o u n dw a i t w h a t ? n o , n o , n o , n o , n o

t h e s k y g i v e s m e m o u t h t o m o u t ht h e s u n l i c k s e v e r y i n c h o f m y s k i n

y o u r s t o d e v o u r a n i n c i s i o n t o s h o w

r e m o v i n g t h e b a c k o f y o u r m i n d a l a d d e r m a d e o u t o f c o s m i c r a d i a t i o na s m i l e h i d d e n u n d e r e v e r y t h i n g t e r r i b l ep u p i l s f r o w n u p s i d e d o w n f a i n t n e o n w h i t e t r i a n g l e s o n e i t h e r s i d eo f t h e b a c k o f m y e y e l i d sr e a t t a c h i n g t h e s m a l l s k i n l o s tl e f t l i m p i n g o r s t i l l m o v i n g

c r o o k e d l i g h tf r a c t u r e d g l a r e s

r e f l e c t i o n s b e n t i n h a l ft h e m i r r o r s t r u m s o u r s t e l l a r s t r i n g s

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b i t t e r r a z o r s s h a v i n g s t u b b l e o f f o f a f r i e n d s h i p e n d i n g a r g u m e n t ’ s c h i n

c g e t u p o g e t u p l g e t u p l g e t u p a g e t u p p g e t u p s g e t u p e g e t u p

y o u t h b r o t h a d o l e s c e n t s t e w a v e r t d r o n e s e l d o m s o o n w i n d o w o r g a s m c r e s c e n d o i n b r i g h t k e y s r h y t h m t e a r i n g t h r o u g h c a n n e d b r e e z e b r o k e i n b a l c o n y h o u s e b r o k e n f r i e n d s

e x l o v e l i v e s s t u n n e d b y a b e a u t i f u l b l u e s a t u r n

h e a v y b r e a t h i n g o f i c e a n d a i rf r o m t h e c r a t e r s o n t h e m o o n

s w a l l o w i t . . h o l d s t i l l

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Page 63: A Loose Portrait of Body

a b l o b o f e n e r g y f r o m p e r f e c t t u n e sc r a w l s i n t o l u n g s s p i t s t h i c k c o m p o s i t i o n s i n f a n t v i b r a t o

s t a t i c c h a p t e r n e w a t l a n t i c w a v e f r o z e n o v e rj a m m e d c h a o s l i k e c h e w i n g f o i l

m o o n s l i v e r s o f s t a l e s m o k e

f u r t h e r a n d f u r t h e ri n h a l e t h e d a r k m a t t e r

w h a t ’ s t h e m a t t e r ?w h a t ’ s m a t t e r ?

w h a t d o e s i t m a t t e r ?

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Page 65: A Loose Portrait of Body

a b a n d o n m e n t s u c k e d o f f r a i n i n t o a t h i n s p i r a lh a l f b e l o w t h e w a l l s o f a h o a x f o c u s h a r m o n i z e d f r e q u e n c i e s f o r i n n e rf e e l t h e u s e l e s s w a v e l e n g t h s s i m m e rd e s t r u c t i v e t h o u g h t s f o r d e s t r u c t i v e c i t i e s

h i d d e n u n d e r s m a l l t a l k f u c k e r yw a t e r d u s k d a w n n e v e r m i n d

p l a y a l o n g l i n e s d e c a p i t a t e t h e n . . . . .s s s s s s s s s s o o o o o m m m m e e e e e d d d a a a a a y y y y y ys s s s o o o m m m m e e e e w w w w h h h h h h e e e e r r r r e e e es s s s s s o o o o o m m m m e e e e e h h h h h o o o o w w w w w w

p l e a s e s t o p b u t i t d o e s n ’ t m a t t e ri ’ m t o o f a r i n

t h e s e w o r d s h a u n t y o u t h e n b e c o m e y o u

t h e n . . . . .

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Page 67: A Loose Portrait of Body

s m i l i n g a t t h e e n d t r a g e d y

b o r e d o m b a n g i n g a d o l e s c e n t h e a d s

o n t h e m a n m a d e w a l l

c o n c r e t e c o f f i n s w i t h c a b l e t e l e v i s i o n

u n d e r s i d e w a l k s w e d e c a y

o u r r o o t s n e v e r g r o w b e c a u s e w e p l a n t e d t h e m i n t h e w r o n g p l a c e

o p p r e s s e d s o u l s m o v e o n

t h e g r u e l i n g g r o t e s q u e d i v i n e

e n t r a i n e d e a r s n a r e d r u m s r o l l i n g p r e c i s i o n h i t s o u t o f s y n c

s t u c k d e e p i n n a r c o t i c s t a n d u p c o m i c s

h o u r g l a s s w a t e r s

d r i p

l i k e s w e a t w i p e d

f r o m w r o n g c a r e e r s c a l p s

s t a r t i n g o v e r

e n d i n g u n d e r

d r o p

t h e t o n g u e i n c h e e k t h a t r i p s t h r o u g h

g a r g l i n g t r u s t a n d l o y a l t y l i k e p r a n k t e s t i c l e s

a t f i r s t s i g h t . . . t h e n i g h t

o u t w e i g h e d t h e l i g h t , r i g h t ?

d r i p

s t u m b l i n g u p s t a i r s

i s l i p i n t o y o u r d r i n k

l a u g h t h e n s o b t h e n r e l a x t h e n l e a v e

b u i l t u p d i s g u s t

y e a r s m a d e o u t o f m i s s i n g i n v i t a t i o n s

o r m i s i n t e r p r e t a t i o n s

d r o p

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Page 69: A Loose Portrait of Body

i l a s h o u t

w i n k a n d n e a r l y v o m i t

o u t t h e o v e r d u e a p o l o g y

m o u t h s m a n i c d e e p r e c e s s i o n

w e c a n a l w a y s m o v e i t b a c k a g g r a v a t e d u n d e r b r e a t h

s t u t t e r i n s t e p

i c i c l e s

f o r m e d

o n

c i v i l i z a t i o n s

i n s e c u r i t i e s

f l a t t e r i n g

t h e m s e l v e s

l i k e

m a t e r i a l i s t i c

l a y e r s

o f s e x d r i v e n

‘ i t ’ g i r l s

a m n e s i a s t u d d e d s t r u g g l e s

a h e a d t i l t e d u p t h a t c a n ’ t g r a s p

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Page 71: A Loose Portrait of Body

w e s h i n e l i k e s u m m e r g r i m e

w e l t s f r o m i g i v e u p d r e a m l i v e s

a g a l l o n o f r e v e r b a c r o s s t h e n a t i o n

s p i l l s a n d e c h o s t h r o u g h

p o v e r t y a n d p r o s p e r i t y

t h e c o a t o f e n e r g y

t h r o b b i n g i n y o u r s u b c o n s c i o u s

i n s p i r a t i o n d r i p s l i k e m e n s t r u a t i o n

a c r o s s n a t i o n a l o b s e s s i o n

a s a n e p i c f u c k e d u p s u n b e a m

p o e t i c m e a n i n g l e s s n e s s

s o m e o n e g e t m e o u t o f ( )

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Page 73: A Loose Portrait of Body

h u m m i n g h i n t s

s u n k i n t o t h e m u d

l o v e w o u n d s o u n d

u n d e r w a t e r l a u g h t e r

l i k e q u i c k l i t s m o l d e r i n g a s h e s

s t r a i n e d w o r d s

d o w n m i s i n t e r p r e t a t i o n d r a i n s

i n t o s e w a g e -

w h e r e r o c k s , g h o s t s , c r o s s e s , a n d m o l d m e e t t o p l a y c a r d s

m a g n e t i c j a z z d r i p s t o m e n d

h i p l o c k s u n d e r g o l d s n o w

t o d o o r s u n k n o w n

p r o - f o u n d o r c o n - l o s s

f r o m r a b i d t o e c s t a t i c

i n a n a n t i - c l i m a t i c m a c h i n e

w h e r e y o u c a n d o n a t e y o u r p a s s i o n

l i k e b o n e m a r r o w

s u n g s h i v e r i n g f r o m f r e e z i n g e x - s t a t i c

a g e a v a l a n c h e

d e m o l i s h e d t r i u m p h s

s t r e t c h e d o u t i n t o n y l o n s t r i n g s

t h a t r e p r e s e n t y o u a n d m e

a s c h o r d s t r u c t u r e s e q u i v a l e n t t o t u n n e l s

c o v e r e d w i t h n e w a n d o l d

n o i n - b e t w e e n

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Page 75: A Loose Portrait of Body

c a t h e d r a l c l o t s

z o o m o u t o f t h o u g h t

i n t o e l s e w h e r e s u r r o u n d i n g s

u r b a n f l o o d

a l l t h e m a s s

a l l t h e c h a o s

i n t o a n e p i c v a c u u m

s o u n d s l i k e g e n t l e f u z z

w h i s p e r i n g i n y o u r e a r t o k e e p t h e f e a r o u t o f t h e n i g h t m a r e

l e t ’ s d i v i d e a n d r i d e t h e s k y

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Page 77: A Loose Portrait of Body

g a t h e r i n g d r o p p e d j a w s

f r o m w h a t t h e f u c k s h o w c a s e s

s h a t t e r e d s h o p c l o c k s a s h a t e t i m e c r i m e s

w h i l e l o s i n g h o u r s

w h i l e s l o w l y d y i n g

i r o n y ’ s l a s t l a u g h

s o h a r d

s o s h a r p

s o t h e c o m a c a m e a n d w r a p p e d i t u p

a l u c i d c o c o o n

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s a t i r e s a t t i r e d o n h a n d s

t h a t c o u l d n ’ t k e e p s t i l l

c r e p t u p c l o s e

b e h i n d c l o s e d d o o r s o r h e a l e d s o r e s

i c l o s e d m y e y e s a n d s u n k

f r o m a d e f l a t e d m a t t r e s s

i n t o t h e w o o d

i n t o t h e n a i l s

i n t o t h e d i r t

i n t o t h e m u d

i n t o t h e l a y e r s o f f r a c t u r e d m a t t e r

w h e r e c h a o s a n d o r d e r

c a s u a l l y d r y h u m p o n e a n o t h e r

i n a s w i n g d a n c e o f n e u t r a l i t y

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Page 81: A Loose Portrait of Body

c e l e s t i a l m i r r o r

s o c r i s p t h a t o u r s k i n s p a r t i c l e s g l o w

i n a s u b f r a n t i c s o u n d

n e e d l e a n d t h r e a d s t a b b i n g a n d s e w i n g

m a k i n g l o o p h o l e s i n t i m e a n d m i n d

w e a v i n g b e t w e e n h o p e a n d g r i m e

s o a p a n d w i n e

w i d o w s a n d c o m e d y s k i t s

c r e s c e n d o e s a n d d o v e s h i t

d e e p b r e a t h s a n d b i t t e r l u s t

a n t h i l l s a n d e a r t h c r u s t

t r u e l o v e a n d p a i n t c h i p s

n o v e l s a n d t o w e l s

g r a v e l a n d c o w a r d s

i n t i m a c y a n d g a l a x i e s

f r a g r a n c e a n d c r o o k e d t r e e s

t h e m i s s i n g l a s t p i e c e

t o a p u z z l e t h a t n e v e r …

f o a m i n g f r o m s t u n n e d m a d r a i n

t i l l w e a r e b a c k a s p o i s o n g a s

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Page 83: A Loose Portrait of Body

a g a i n w i t h t h e d u l l m o n o t o n e

l e a k s i n t o t h e r o o m

h i n t s s o f t y a t t h e i m p e n d i n g

n u d g e n u d g e n u d g e

h u h h u h h u h

w i n k w i n k w i n k

g e t o f f

l i k e a g h o s t w i t h c h r i s t m a s p a w s

a n d i n s e c t s s w i p e d l i k e c r e d i t

e i t h e r d e m o l i s h e d o r f r e e

f o u n d b o t h s w i m m i n g a n d s i n k i n g

i n a m a n m a d e w a t e r f a l l

c a s t r a t e d v e n t r i l o q u i s t s s h r u g g e d o f f

e n g i n e s t e n o c t a v e s d o w n i n a l e f t e a r

w i t h c l o s e d e y e s

g a s h i n g s t a r d o m

a k n i f e l u s t f u l l y s e r e n a d e d

w i t h a l l r e l i g i o n s q u a r r e l e d u n s o l v e d

w h i l e w e ’ r e l i c k i n g t h e m o u t h o f m y s t e r y

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Page 85: A Loose Portrait of Body

v e n t i n g b y r u b b i n g t i r e d e y e s

k n u c k l e s s c r a t c h i n g t h r o u g h

f i r s t e y e s o c k e t s t h e n f u r t h e r

u n t i l t h e w r i s t s g e t c a u g h t

i n n o s t a l g i c g o o

s o w i t h t h a t

a s t r o l l a r o u n d s o m e c o r p o r a t e g i a n t s

m a n i p u l a t e d s i d e w a l k w i l l d o f o r n o w

w i t h t h e k n u c k l e s n o w p r y i n g o p e n

o n t h e r e a r e n d s c a l p

y o u c a n w a v e g o o d b y e

f l a p p i n g y o u r f i n g e r s l i k e w i n g s

t h e n f e e l c o m p l e t e

f o r e i g h t m e a s u r e s

o n l y

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Page 87: A Loose Portrait of Body

t h e v i b r a n c y o f c o n n e c t i v i t y

t h e d u l l a n d t h e d r e a m l e s s

a g o n i z i n g o v e r t h e n e x t d r i p

v i s c o u s l i p s

g r o w l i n g t o n g u e s

n o l u c k a s e v e r y d r u g f a i l s

a t r e c r e a t i n g t h e t i d a l w a v e

t h a t s c r u b b e d a l l y o u r n e u r o n s c l e a n

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Page 89: A Loose Portrait of Body

i t o l d y o u s o d i s t o r t e d a n d l o o p e d

o n d e r a i l e d s u b w a y s p e a k e r s

i ’ m t r a f f i c a n d y o u ’ r e l a t e

l i k e j e s u s u n a s s e m b l e d

i n s h a t t e r e d s t a i n e d g l a s s

s h u t t h e c o a s t

c o m e r u s t w i t h u s

l e t u s p e e l o u t t h e f r a c t u r e

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Page 91: A Loose Portrait of Body

b e n e a t h e y e s c a n c e l e d l i k e s i t c o m s

t h a t ’ s w h e r e w e a r e

t h a t ’ s w h e r e y o u a r e n ’ t

y o u w a n t i n a n d w e w a n t o u t

l i k e t h e s t a i r c a s e o f e v o l u t i o n

o n c e t h e b i r d s f l y s o u t h

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m a t e r i a l i s t i c r a t s i n g o l d p l a t e d s e w e r s

c r u m b l e d c i v i l i z a t i o n s

c o l l e c t i n g b r e a d c r u m b s

s l i c i n g o p e n a t e n n i s b a l l

s h o v i n g i t a l l i n

l i k e f e e d i n g a m u z z l e d p h i l o s o p h y

r e v o l u t i o n a r y t h o u g h t a s c o n f i n e d d r o o l

s p e c k l e d a n d v i b r a n t

h a u n t i n g a n d r e s i g n e d

d o w n t h e s y n t h e t i c p o p u l a t i o n

f o u r b e t t e r p l u s f o u r w o r s e

b e c o m e s a b l a n k p a g e

n o s m u d g e n o d u s t

w i t h o u t u s

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w e w a l t z

i n t h e t r a n s p a r e n t b l u e m i s t

t h e a t t e n t i o n f e d t o a t h r o w n f i t

w e s t r e t c h a s a c a n v a s

c r a c k i n g o p e n i t ’ s w o o d e n f r a m e

t h e c o s t u m e c r e a t e d

i n t h e i m a g e o f y o u r s o u l

h a n d f e d e v e r y t h i n g i n f r e e f o r m

w e c r a c k l e

i n t h e s t o m a c h o f h o p e l e s s a d d i c t s

i n s h u t t e r s w i t h f r o z e n h i n g e s

i n e a r d r u m b u r s t i n g d r a m a

n o w f i n a l l y o n m u t e

f r e e

f r o m i t /

f r o m t h a t /

f r o m t h i sw e w a l t z i n t h e t r a n s p a r e n t b l u e m i s t

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Page 97: A Loose Portrait of Body

m o o n l i t l i e s

d e l a y e d a n d r e v e r s e d

t o s o u n d l i k e t r u t h

h o p e b l u r r e d a n d m e d i o c r e

t r i t e c h o r d s

d i s i n t e g r a t e d i n t o t h e b r u t a l c l i m a t e

o f h o r r i d c r e a t i v i t y

w i t h f u m e s t h a t f o l l o w i t w h e r e v e r

o f f i n t h e d i s t a n c e

s t u b b o r n e x p l o i t a t i o n

f a c t o r i z e d f a i l u r e

f o r u s ,

w e j u s t c r u s t o v e r

a s i l l u s i o n s

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Page 99: A Loose Portrait of Body

o n m o u n t a i n t o p s o f f l a m i n g p e t r i e d i s h e s w h e r e s c i e n c e i s a s e x s y m b o l s p r a w l e d o u t o n i n f i n i t y ’ s b e d u n z i p y o u r c l i m a x e n c a s e i t i n c e l l o p h a n e s l i t i t i n t h e n o u t t h e n i n t h e n o u t t h e n i n t h e n o u t t h e n i n t h e n o u t t h e n i n t h e n o u t t h e n o u t t h e n i n t h e n o u t t h e n i n t h e n . . . .

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i w i l l d e f a c e t h e w a l l s o f

s p a c e

w i t h a c a n o f a e r o s o l

e n d i n g s

p i n c h c o n s c i o u s n e s s

l i k e h o l d i n g a k i d b y h i s

c o l l a r

t h r o w i t i n t o t h e m i d d l e o f

t h e n i g h t

w a t c h

i t

d r i p

f r o m

a

s t a r

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r i g h t ? o r . . .

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