A Godly Family In An Ungodly World

Choosing Your MateGod’s plans always work.

God has given everyone a plan on choosing a mate.

Introduction• Proverbs 4:1 “Hear, children, the instruction of a father,

and listen to knowledge and understanding.”• Listen to knowledge and understanding from those who

have experienced them.• Do not be like Jereboam who rejected the counsel of the

wise older men, but listened to his young selfish friends (1 Kings 12).

• While none of us can claim total knowledge and wisdom, some of us are wise enough to recognize our mistakes we made along the way.

• Listen to someone who has been there.

Choosing Your Mate• Can you recall getting into trouble, as a child,

because you were not paying attention? • In most cases, the consequences didn’t feel so good. • Now, imagine if you had paid attention and took

heed to the instructions or warnings that were given to you.

• Hmmm…You could have avoided a lot of pain and suffering.

• Yeah, it took some of us a long time to figure this one out.

Choosing Your Mate• So it is with our heavenly Father and the

instructions He gives us for developing godly relationships.

• If we pay attention and take heed to the Father’s instructions, we can keep ourselves from a lot of pain and suffering in our relationships because, remember, our Father knows best.

• Hebrews 12:4-11 God disciplines those whom He loves.

Choosing Your Mate

• When it comes to your relationships, are you paying attention to what God is saying to you?

• Whether you are single, dating, married or hope to get married one day, here are just a few principles and instructions from our heavenly Father that will help you to have godly, strong and successful relationships that bless you and glorify Him:

Choosing Your Mate• Keep God First. • Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and

do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight”.

• Matthew 6:33 “but seek ye first the kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you”.

• Luke 14:26 “If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple”.

• How is your relationship with God?

Choosing Your Mate

• If you are a child of God, a disciple of Christ, your relationship with God is to be paramount in your heart.

• Your goals, aspirations and choices should be based on what pleases Him and how it affects your relationship with Him.

• So many Christians make the mistake of putting another person or even themselves in the place where only God belongs.

Choosing Your Mate

• As a result, they make decisions based on what pleases that person or themselves rather than what pleases God.

• That is nothing more than idolatry. • Many spend so much time on their earthly

relationship that they wind up losing their heavenly relationship.

• Never let anyone or anything come between you and your relationship with your heavenly Father and your obedience to His word.

Choosing Your Mate• Be Patient. • Psalm 27:14 “Wait for the LORD; Be strong, and let

your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD”. • Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans that I have

for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope”.

• Philippians 4:6 “Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God”,

Choosing Your Mate

• How many people do you know who are suffering right now because they were hasty in their relationship decisions?

• Some people are in love with the idea of love, relationships and marriage and are so anxious that they move before God says move.

• The pressure from family, friends and, even from within their own mind, has caused many to leap into relationships without even counting the cost.

Choosing Your Mate

• Your heavenly Father knows what (and who) is best for you but you must learn to trust Him enough to wait on Him to lead, guide and provide when it comes to your relationships.

• That guidance comes from God’s word.• When you find someone who loves God and

respects the authority of the scriptures more than any other, you have found the right one.

Choosing Your Mate• Listen. • Proverbs 19:20 “Listen to counsel and accept discipline,

that you may be wise the rest of your days”. • Matthew 11:15 “he who has ears to hear, let him hear”. • James 1:19 “This you know, my beloved brethren. But

let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger”.

• When it comes to who His children enter into relationships with, our Father definitely has something to say.

Choosing Your Mate• Unfortunately, many of us just don’t want to listen;

and, as a result, we suffer. • Love is not blind but lust is. • Pay attention to what God is telling you about

yourself and/or the person you are in a relationship with or are interested in being in a relationship with.

• Through His word, His Spirit and His people, your heavenly Father will reveal many truths to you.

• Listen to your Father.

Choosing Your Mate

• If you are interested in or dating someone, God will let you know whether or not that person is the one He has chosen for you.

• It is possible to want someone that God does not want for you because “man looks at the outside but God looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7)

• Don’t let lust or loneliness lead you to ignore what God is saying to you.

• Your Father is not trying to keep you from pleasure but He is trying to keep you from pain.

Choosing Your Mate• Be Compatible. • Deuteronomy 7:2b-4 “you shall make no covenant with them

and show no favor to them. Furthermore, you shall not intermarry with them; you shall not give your daughters to their sons, nor shall you take their daughters for your sons. For they will turn your sons away from following Me to serve other gods;…”

• Deuteronomy 22:10 “You shall not plow with an ox and a donkey together”.

• 2 Corinthians 6:14 “Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?”

Choosing Your Mate• As a Christian, you must never forget that you are a part

of a “chosen” group of people. • You are a part of a special people, a royal priesthood. • 1 Peter 2:9 “But you are a chosen race, a royal

priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light”.

• Because of your faith and obedience to the gospel, God has called you out of the world and added you to His spiritual kingdom.

Choosing Your Mate• Therefore, your heavenly Father only wants you to

be bound together with someone from His kingdom who He deems is compatible with you.

• This means that if God is first in your in your life and you have done what you need to do to be saved and are striving to live according to His word, you should not enter into a covenant relationship with someone who has not done or is not doing these things.

• If you are trying to please God, do not get tied up with someone who isn’t.

Choosing Your Mate• God does not want you to be in a covenant

relationship (courtship or marriage) with an unbeliever whether they are outside of the church or within the church.

• The person you choose to date should be a person of compatible faith, maturity, morals and ideals.

• While we cannot say that marrying a non-Christian is a sin, it is certainly very foolish to put your soul in such jeopardy.

Choosing Your Mate• Honor God.• Joshua 24:15 “Choose ye this day….but as for me and

my house, we will serve the LORD”. • Proverbs 3:6 “In all your ways acknowledge Him, and

He shall direct your paths”. • Romans 12:2 “And do not be conformed to this world,

but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good, acceptable and perfect”.

• 1 Corinthians 6:20 “For you have been bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body”.

Choosing Your Mate• Colossians 3:17 “And whatever you do in word or

deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father”.

• Who you choose to enter into a relationship with is ultimately up to you.

• Although your Father gives you instructions on how to establish godly relationships, it is up to you to decide whether or not you are going to be obedient and follow those instructions.

Choosing Your Mate

• Decide today that you are going to honor God in your relationship choices.

• Commit your soul, mind and body to the Lord and be faithful to Him until the end.

• Determine in your heart that you are only going to seek someone who is committed to honoring God with and through their life.

Choosing Your Mate

• Pray for God’s guidance, blessings and discernment in your effort to establish a relationship that honors Him.

• If you are trying to honor God and the person you are interested in or that is interested in you is not trying to honor God, know that that person is not for you.

• Don’t allow your emotions and lusts of the flesh to cloud your judgment.

Choosing Your Mate• The Bible is filled with examples of successful and

unsuccessful relationships. • In the scripture, we can find many relationship do’s

and don’ts. • The problem is, just like little children, some of us

are not paying attention or just refuse to pay attention to what God says.

• As a result, many wind up in miserable situations and relationships that could have been avoided if they had just paid attention.

Choosing Your Mate• Whether you are single, dating, married or hope to get

married one day, never forget that your heavenly Father knows best.

• He wants to help you to have godly, strong and successful relationships that bless you and glorify Him.

• So far, we discovered that in order for this to happen, our Father says you must (1) Keep God first and (2) Be patient.

• In addition to those essentials, our Father teaches us that if you want to have a godly relationship, you must:; (3) Listen; and (4) Be Compatible.

Choosing Your Mate

• The last tip from our heavenly Father is one that many often take for granted and, as a result, wind up in a relationship that is a burden rather than a blessing.

• When it comes to building a strong, healthy and godly relationship, only seek, date, marry someone who God says is compatible with you in faith, values and maturity.

• And, no matter what, be committed to honoring God in your relationship choices.

Conclusion• God will never lead you down the wrong path or to the

wrong person. • He will always provide you exactly what you need exactly

when you need it. • If you listen to your Father, He will lead you to the right

person…the person who loves Him just as much as (or more than) you.

• If a godly relationship is your desire, you cannot have that unless God is a part of it.

• It takes three – a godly you, a godly mate and God himself, to have a relationship that pleases and glorifies Him.