C A L L 1 8 0 0 8 5 2 V I N E F O R V I N E Y A R D M U S I C U S A O R D E R S

A D E E P E R L O O K

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. . . I N S I D E T H E C I R C L E O F FA M I LY

A G R E AT S O U N D T E C H

T H E P R I V I L E G E O F PA R E N T I N G

I N S E A R C H O F T H E M I G H T Y E L E C T R I C

… A N D M O R E

The Circleof Family

Volume 58 | February 2006

PublisherVineyard Music USA

Creative EditorDan Wilt

Copy EditorWilt Creative

Art DirectorMarkus Frehner at fortissimo.ch

PhotographyStephan Jungck © fortissimo.ch

Inside Worship E-mailinsideworship@vineyardmusic.com

© 2006 Vineyard Music USAAll Rights Reserved

For our resources, visit

For our music, visit

Priorities

2005 was quite the year on the Gulf Coast, where our Vineyard MusicUSA family is located. We witnessed a record number of hurricanes,the devastation of a major city and the mass evacuation of another.My family and I experienced the effects of Hurricane Rita first hand.

Monday, September 19thAfter a series of Katrina-relief worship events, I was glad to be homeafter an extended absence. Meanwhile, hurricane Rita was gainingstrength out in the Atlantic. Houston had been playing host to thou-sands of Katrina survivors for a few weeks. In our part of town alone,we had embraced an estimated 5000 survivors. My kids had newclassmates from Louisiana at their schools. The devastation of Katri-na was hitting very close to home.

Tuesday, September 20thRita was now a category 2 storm, and the predicted track was center-ing on our home in Houston. At the office, we started to hear evacua-tion rumors, and of heavy demand on supplies such as water and ply-wood. Images of New Orleans, post-Katrina, were fresh in our minds.As the day progressed we started to take action, gathering water andfood, flashlights and batteries, and a small amount of plywood – allwe could gather. We were going to board up and leave town.

Wednesday, September 21stRita was now category 5. Tracking predicted her landfall just south-west of Houston, directly over our part of town. It was a scarythought to say the least. We continued the business of shutting upour home and packing up our vehicles. For our area, 110+ mphwinds were predicted, with significant damage following. This wassobering news. My family and I spent one last night in our nowboarded-up house.

The Rest Of The StoryBy Thursday, Rita had become a stronger storm than Katrina. We be-gan a grueling 14 hour, 150 mile drive to the safety of Austin, Texas.Gathered at a friend’s house, we watched as Rita made landfall – fur-ther east. Thankfully, our house was not damaged.

This was an incredibly centering experience for all of us here at Vine-yard Music. When faced with the possibility of significant loss, yourpriorities come into sharp focus. We live such active, busy lives, eventhose of us in full time ministry; we can tend to take the things of re-al value in our lives for granted – our relationship with God, our fam-ilies and our church communities.

My prayer for our whole Inside Worship family is that in the wake ofthis experience, we can all learn to hold things in proper perspectiveon a daily basis – and that it wouldn’t take potential or real disasterto keep our priorities clear.

C A S E Y C O R U M

Production Director, Vineyard Music USA

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The Circle Of FamilyAn Interview With Judy DavidsCounselor Judy Davids speaks into theleader’s family life.

A Great Sound TechNathan RousuGreatness and the world of the SoundTechnician.

The Privilege Of ParentingAnita WiltGoing to the heart of “how to raise anadult.”

Keep The Home Fires BurningInside WorshipKindling devotion to Jesus in ourhomes.

SongStoryJeremy Riddle and Tony SanchezNew songs and fresh bread forworshiping communities.

In Search Of The Mighty ElectricJames WhiteThe role of the electric guitar in theworship circle.

Writing For Children’s WorshipNigel HemmingWords, pictures and actions –songcrafting for the youngest ones.

Bold’s FoldBuckle up your seatbelt; we’re in for another ride.

New Release PageThe latest releases from Vineyard Music USA.

Contents

I was a hard-working pastor, a diligent worship leader and overseer of avariety of leaders. One day I came home from a particularly drainingday, and began to “vent” on my compassionate wife. When I finishedmy long train of agitated, random thoughts, she took my face in her lov-ing hands and looked me deep in the eyes. “Dan, I don’t need a pastor; Ineed a husband. Your children don’t need a worship leader; they need aDaddy.”

My world came to a screeching halt, and since that time I have alwaysregarded my small family circle as the first church to which I am calledto give my attention.

This issue of Inside Worship: The Circle Of Family is devoted to thesphere of relationships that we call our family. Judy Davids, a counselorand nurturer of pastoral families, offers her striking insights into whatmakes a ministry family tick. Anita Wilt brings penetrating ideas onthe high privilege of parenting for worshipers. Other articles aid us insongwriting for children’s worship, family worship traditions and eventhe heart of the leader behind the soundboard.

When the eyes of a spouse, child (or parent) look into your own, whatdo they see? Do they see that they are peripheral to your world, or in thecenter? May these simple pages draw you, as a worshiper and leader,back to the circle of family that is a gift from God to you.

D A N W I LT

Creative Editor, Inside Worship

Letter From The Editor

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Fr o m t h e C h u r c h , f o r t h e C h u r c h

4I N S I D E W O R S H I P pastoral

Judy Davids has ministered to leaders and their families for

decades. She leads Pastor’s Sabbath Retreats for pastoral

families across the US, and her insights into the unique pres-

sures that leaders face have been forged through years of

counseling experience.

You’ve seen many families in which one or both of thespouses were in ministry leadership. What is the generalstate of affairs you see? Are leader’s marriages and familylives healthy?

Many leadership marriages and family lives that I encounterare unhealthy (I would say 95% of those I meet). This maysound extreme, perhaps because the ones who come to me asa counselor are the unhealthy ones. What we do know, statis-tically, is that 50% of pastors/planters burn-out within thefirst five years. The reasons are varied:

• Pastoring people is a high-pressure job.• Pastoral personalities tend to be driven, Type-A personali-

ties that are prone to work addiction and personal burn-out/depression.

• Our consumer, fast-paced culture, permeated by TV, isworking against the preservation of marriage/family.

• There is a lack of prayer. The average pastor prays person-ally for six minutes per week. Taking a personal / contem-plative retreat is highly unusual for a pastor.

• There is a “consumer market” culture in our churches thatfocuses on performance, bottom-line numbers and mon-ey. This replaces a Kingdom of God culture, where love isthe regal rule and the ethos is emotionally safe wherein apastor and his/her family can thrive.

What are some of the common strengths/weaknesses yousee in leaders’ marriages and families?

In terms of strengths, the postmodern young pastors of todayare emphasizing relationships more than ever, and thus theirministry tends to be more relational. There is an interest instorytelling, which catches and holds the attention of con-gregations – and assists us in integrating our stories into HisGreater Story.

In terms of weaknesses, there seems to be less persever-ance, less self-control and less personal discipline in our lead-ers, all of which are characteristic of what Edwin Friedmancalls our “regressive” culture. There seems to be less old-fash-ioned faithfulness in church leaders. I think of our Savior’swords: “Well done my good and faithful servant” (Matt 25:21). Today, pastors and missionaries are giving up on mar-riages, on family life and on ministry, in disillusionment,more quickly than years past. Perhaps this is because therenow are other options rather than simply “sticking it out.”

Our narcissistic culture, focusing on a reactive, “me first”attitude, rather than a differentiated “here I stand, but I willcontinue to care about you” attitude, is contributing to thebreakdown of relationships. This can leave one feeling com-pletely alone and unsupported in the middle of many super-ficial “friends.”

The CircleOf Family

Burn-out is a systemic exhaustion depression

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What counsel would you give to leaders who find theirlives spinning out of control?

There are six ingredients of a healthy lifestyle which helpedme to return from burn-out 15 years ago, and to begin to min-ister with a bead on long-term service – and finishing wellover the long haul.

1. Abide In The VineIn John 15:1-8, we are given a personal invitation to abidedeeply with him: “Those who remain in me, and I in them, willproduce much fruit.” Meditate on the following Scriptures:Hebrews 3:1-6; 12:1-2; James 1:5-8; and Hebrews 12: 5-13. Weare thus submitting to Jesus’ pruning and discipline, andmaking him central to everything in our lives.

There is an order to ministry: communion, communityand (only then) ministry. This is Henri Nouwen’s way of say-ing that one must minister out of relationship, which bringssupport and love with it. If we forget the communion aspect,we are on our way towards trouble.

2. Practice Sabbath Rhythm Sabbath rhythm means putting space into your life to pause,pray and play. That is, our lives should have the rhythm:“Work, work, work, work, work, work, REST!” Rest meansplacing rest and renewing relationships above our work.What does having a “rule of rest” do for us? It teaches us howto stop work and say “No!” It combats spiritual dryness. Arule of rest makes it easier to stop and be still to pray everyday – for we are practiced from the weekly rhythm. Last butnot least, a rule of rest refreshes us.

3. Practice Spiritual DisciplinesMore than rules, practicing the spiritual disciplines is like nur-turing a love affair. Practicing the spiritual disciplines is plac-ing ourselves in the presence of our Beloved. We do them be-cause of our weakness. We do them because Jesus neededthem. We do them to reach our goals, particularly our goal ofsubmission to the kingdom rule of God in a context of inti-macy with him.

4. Take A Personal Retreat One can do this by (a) going away, (i.e. stopping your dailyroutine and taking time to hang out with God), (b) gettingneeded rest (resting is spiritual!) and (c) harvesting your jour-nals (i.e. go back and reread and reflect upon them). Such a re-treat will help you to gain a new perspective on your life.

5. Keep A Reflective Journal This will enrich, nourish, mature, heal, develop, broaden, en-hance and transform you. In your journal, (a) write aboutyour feelings, (b) write for yourself, not to share with others,(c) be honest, for it is only you and God, and (d) once yearlyharvest your journal (as described above). As you write yourstory, the mystery of the incarnation happens – Jesus is re-vealed as the Word of God through you, and your story in HisGreater Story.

6. Prevent Burn-OutBurn-out is the running out of steamphysically, emotionally, and spiritually– causing our lives to grind to a halt. Itis a systemic exhaustion depression.The warning signs are a decreasing abil-ity to function or perform, detachmentor withdrawal from people, excessiveand chronic fatigue, depleted motiva-tion (“I don’t feel like doing anything”),increased impatience and irritability,feelings of being unappreciated, nega-tive changes in work habits and rela-tionships, disorientation and confu-sion, an inability to concentrate, andphysical complaints (headaches, back-aches, stomach problems).

To prevent burn-out, all three di-mensions of the human being: body,mind/emotions, and spirit, must be ad-dressed. Get proper exercise, eat ahealthy diet and get adequate sleep. Ex-press feelings appropriately (i.e. don’tbottle them up – journal or share with afriend instead), place a Sabbath rhythmin your lifestyle and take a spiritual re-treat, put laughing, comedy, humor,play, regular celebrations, and hobbiesinto your life. Choose tasks well – knowyour limits, be assertive and say “no”without guilt to tasks God has not giv-en you. Have a “dumping place,” and setup an intercessory group to pray espe-cially for you. Make a good friend whowill call you out to play, or shatter yourreligiosity regularly. Finally, develop anattitude of humility and of gratitude inall you do.

To promote good mental health,thus preventing burn-out, we need atleast four of the following seven sup-port systems in place in our lives: aspouse, an extended blood family, a pas-tor/church family, a peer friend, a smallgroup, a spiritual director and a coun-selor.

My personal daily schedule in-cludes: journaling, reading Scripture,praying, reading a spiritual classic, hav-ing breakfast with my husband, aerobicexercise, and showering and dressingfor my day. It also includes reading andpraying with my husband for 15 min-utes at bedtime. My weekly schedule in-cludes: one day off, with nothing to dobut relax and refresh myself. My quar-

terly schedule includes: a two-day per-sonal retreat. My yearly schedule in-cludes: a family vacation, a weekendmarriage retreat with my spouse, and apersonal one week fasting retreat at anearby Catholic retreat house.

These are a few tips how to change yourlifestyle to effectively minister as a fam-ily. I have learned the above the hardway by burning out and having to takean entire year out of counseling andministry. You do not have to repeat mymistakes, but hopefully, you can learnfrom them.

Helpful Family Resources:

When Couples Pray Together by David and Jan

Stoop (a good book to help begin the “praying-

regularly-with-spouse” tradition),

The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work

by John M. Gottman (for help with a struggling

marriage relationship), and

Sabbath, Finding Rest, Renewal, And Delight In Our

Busy Lives by Wayne Muller.

An ordained Vineyard pastor, Judy Davids is awife, mother and grandmother. She has ministeredwith the Vineyard (and other groups) in the US,Canada, Europe, Russia, and Africa, including 6years of co-pastoring a church with her husband.A registered clinical counselor, she has initiatedlay counseling programs in four different coun-tries. She presently lives in Meadows Place, Texas,where she is on the staff of the Sugar Land Vine-yard, leading its Community Care Ministries anddirecting the Pastors’ Sabbath Retreats for Vine-yard USA.

Change your lifestyle

Emphasize your relationships

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I N S I D E W O R S H I P

“And how are they to believe in him ofwhom they have never heard?” (Romans 10:14b, RSV)

“Faith comes from what is heard….” (Romans 10:17, RSV)

“… the Holy Spirit came on all whoheard the message.” (Acts 10:44, NIV)

Among my other theological sins, I ful-ly know that I am about to take theabove verses wildly out of context – butonly to proof text my point! Yet, I don’tthink that I am too far out of turn instating that these texts remind us thatour ability to hear is very important. Be-

cause hearing is important, thoseblessed gifts from above, Sound Techni-cians, are a very important part of ourmodern day worshiping community.

A Great Sound TechA great Sound Tech blesses the churchby insuring that the communication ofthe ‘word’ (speech or music) is clear andunderstandable to everyone. The quali-ty of sound during a meeting can be amajor factor in how people are able toengage in the activities at hand. Whatgood would it do for the best worshipset in the world to be played, or the bestteaching to be given, if the sound is so

bad that no one can bear to listen to it?Bad sound can be a great distraction tothose engaging in a worship service. Atthe worst of moments, the quality ofsound can even hinder one’s ability tounderstand and engage at all.

At the best of times, good soundprovides an opportunity for clearlycommunicated material (music orspeech) to be received easily. Whensound is then transparent, and out ofmind, the ‘word’ can become the focusof attention. A prudent Sound Techni-cian is key to achieving this worthygoal.

Serve, Like JesusAs Sound Technicians, we need to havea clear vision driving why we do thisthing called sound. We are not here tosimply “be the technician, turn knobsand push faders.” We are here to serve –God and his listeners. Some peopleserve God and others by running homegroups. Others serve on a worshipteam. Some people serve by cleaningthe toilets. We serve by plugging in ca-bles, turning knobs, pushing fadersand making a cohesive mix. As a SoundTech, hear these words from Jesus:

“For even the Son of Man did notcome to be served, but to serve, and togive his life…” (Mark 10:45 NIV).

If we put this heart of service intoaction as Sound Techs, the benefits for

us and for those we serve are huge. Wemay be doing the exact same physicaltask as any sound tech, but the servanthearts with which we approach thetask will strengthen our relationships– and build a sense of community aswe minister life to the body. That is aprecious, sacred achievement.

Thankful In A Thankless JobLet’s talk turkey for a moment (I likedark meat with gravy, personally). Be-ing a Sound Tech can be a tough, andusually thankless, job. Most often, theonly feedback that we get is that of asquealing microphone, or a complaint.It can be very easy to develop a bad atti-tude when things aren’t going well andall we are hearing are complaints. AsSound Techs, we need to be very care-ful with our attitudes. Poor attitudescan easily have negative effects – thattrickle down to the whole church.None of us want that.

We can easily eliminate this temp-tation to negativity by “zooming out,”and viewing a picture bigger than ourimmediate circumstances. We have atremendous opportunity here. We canhelp foster an ever-important sense ofunity, pursuing a modus operandi ofteamwork instead of individualism.

We also have the opportunity to bea tremendous blessing to the churchwith our kind acts of service. Be deter-mined to be a blessing. Doing so willbring strength to your church, and glo-ry to Christ.

Determine to be a blessing

A Great Sound Tech

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Pastors and worship leaders, giventhe nature of this often challengingand thankless task, empower yourSound Techs with frequent words ofthanks. Coming from you, these wordsgo a long way.

It’s Too Loud – Or Is It?One of the most common complaintswe hear as Sound Technicians is “It’stoo loud.” While sometimes this gen-uinely is the case, other times it maynot, in fact, be too loud. The problemmay lie with an improper frequencybalance. If the frequencies are notproperly balanced, a build up in a par-ticular area of the spectrum may causediscomfort or even pain to the listener.It does not take much of an imbalanceto cause discomfort. Of course, the lis-teners never know to say, “I’m findingit a little too hot at 3.15 KHz; could youplease attenuate that frequency?” Be-cause it is uncomfortable or painful, allwe usually get told is that “it’s tooloud.” Some churches have painfulsound at 90 dB SPL, while for otherssound can be enjoyable at 100 dB SPL.The secret lies in a properly set up sys-tem with a nice, even frequency re-sponse.

I highly suggest hiring a profes-sional with proper measurement mi-crophones, and an FFT analyzer likeSMAART or SpectraFoo, to come in anddo a proper analysis of your sound sys-tem. These pros can make the proper

N AT H A N R O U S U

adjustments, and/or offer recommen-dations for changes/upgrades. The im-provements in sound quality can oftenbe very gratifying.

A tool that will greatly ease the ten-sion of the ‘loudness’ issue is a soundpressure level meter. A decent metercan be an invaluable tool, and can beacquired for an affordable price (ourchurch bought one from Radio Shackfor $50). This tool can be useful in 2major ways. Firstly, you and your pas-tor can use it to set an agreed uponsound pressure level (SPL) cap. Next, itcan be very hard to stay objective withyour levels over the course of a set, sothis meter can be invaluable for help-ing you know at any moment if yourrunning too hot (or in some cases toolow). It’s a great way to keep thingswithin pre-ordained boundaries andminimize the tensions of loudness is-sues. Typical levels for Sunday morn-ing services are 90 – 100 dB SPL-C; foryouth and outreach services, 95 – 110dB SPL-C.

The John 5 PrincipleA piece of music is a wonderful, dy-namic organism. As a Sound Tech, nor-mally we mix actively – listening andresponding, always looking to balancethe elements to put forward the bestrepresentation of the musical message.Within our context of worship, wehave an extra opportunity. Our wor-ship is an interactive experience withGod. His Spirit moves among us andwe can respond to Him. In John 5:19 wesee Jesus showing us how he joins inwith what he sees the Father doing. AsSound Technicians, we can do the

same. Look for what the Lord is doingin worship. Look for where the HolySpirit is resting with His presence. Hemay be empowering the drummer tohelp release joy or an electric guitarplayer to help release intercession. Besensitive to these things and give theman appropriate level in the mix – so thebody can receive what the Lord desiresto do.

Nathan Rousu is an audio nerd. Along with hisgorgeous wife, Charis, and 3 kids (not nerds), heresides in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada where he isworship pastor at Harvest VCF. Nathan also runsa small studio, and has operated countless soundsystems large and small.

Sound is to be transparent

The Privilege Of Parenting

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I N S I D E W O R S H I P

The Privilege Of ParentingTo see parenting as an act of worship, is to begin to scratchthe surface of what Paul must have meant in Romans 12,when he called us to be “a living sacrifice” to God. Raising ourchildren to acknowledge God as the center of their worship,Jesus as the center of their lives and the Holy Spirit as theirstrength and source, is one of the highest worship leadingcallings that exist. If a parent is not leading worship by theway their life is lived, then their children may find other godsto love.

The task of parenting has been, throughout the ages, thesubject of much heated discussion – and varied opinion. Thetask has been vilified, glorified and everything in between.Parenting has reduced the strongest man to tears, andbrought out the fire in the most timid mother. Parenting hasproduced anarchists and presidents, murderers and saints.You and I are the result of someone’s journey through theparenting whirlwind. Parenting opinions are wide and pas-sionate, and are often incredibly different from one another –even in Christian circles.

The fact remains, however it has been approached, thatparenting for the Christian is a holy calling, an act of wor-ship, a God-given task, for which God has given unparalleledresources – the Scriptures and the Holy Spirit for starters –designed to equal the task. In short, parenting is a high privi-lege, as we co-act with God not only in the raising of children,but in the raising of adults.

Approaches To ParentingUnfortunately for us, the fact that parenting is a widely dis-cussed topic mean that there are an abundance of theoriesand methods about parenting that muddy the waters and canconfuse us. It has been my observation, as a parent and an ed-ucator, that all parenting theories boil down to one of threeways of parenting: parent-centered parenting, child-centeredparenting or God-centered parenting.

Parent-centered Parenting Parent-centered parenting, also known

as authoritarian parenting, was thepredominant method of parentingprior to the 1960s. A parent-centeredparent requires outward conformityto certain behavior, but does nottake the time to explain “why.” Thisfocus on outward behavior leaves lit-tle room for helping a child internal-ize principles of interpersonal rela-tionship. It becomes more impor-tant in the parent’s eyes to restrainevil than to elevate good, and chil-dren conform out of fear of reproofrather than love of goodness. Thepolicy of obedience is taught, but notnecessarily the principle of obedi-ence – which springs from the heart.

Child-centered Parenting Child-centered parenting, or permissive

parenting, was a reaction to authori-tarian parenting. It became popularin the 1960s and 70s and is still thenorm in our society today. Permis-sive parenting is feelings-oriented,and elevates the psychologicalhealth of a child above right andwrong. How a parent thinks a childfeels ends up being the basis forethics. Childrearing becomes anavoidance of any negative emotionsin pursuit of positive ones. The endresult of permissive parenting is anout-of-control child, and a society insteady decline.

God-centered Parenting While the previous two ways of parent-

ing make either the parent or thechild the standard for effective par-enting, God-centered parenting isabout parenting according to God’sprinciples. God-centered parentingrecognizes that parenting is a divinecalling; that children are a gift fromthe Father (Psalm 127:3), never given

as a curse, and that we are, as it were,“custodial” parents, accountable toGod for the molding of a life given tous for a time.

God-centered parenting focuses on hearttraining that has its foundations inGod’s Word, and is about cultivatingGodly character through principlesof discipline and obedience, coupledwith love (Ephesians 6:4).

Parenting TodayMost parenting theories today are root-ed in child-centered parenting. At thecore of this philosophy is the belief thatchildren are born morally good, or atworst neutral; a “blank slate” who hasonly the capacity to disobey – and notthe desire. This is clearly opposed toGod’s Word which tells us that thoughwe are wonderfully made in the imageof God, we are also bent toward self-pro-motion and self-absorption – we aresinful from the time of conception

A mother kneels down to kiss her child’s wounded knee. A fa-

ther sits down with his teenage son after a hard day’s work,

and helps him work through a tough algebra problem. A

mother seeks to make nutritious meals for her family every

evening for years, though she doesn’t really enjoy cooking. A

father works long hours, at a job that is stressful, to insure

that his children have new jeans for the school year.

A child watches his or her parents closely, worshiping in the

congregation, reading the Scriptures, responding to crisis,

handling relationships, attending games and bowing their

heads to pray. A child will in many ways become like their

parent, and carry the values and the ethics of the parent into

society with them. A child will look into the authenticity of

their parent’s walk with God, and determine their own worship

choices.

Parenting is a high calling, indeed.

“We are raising adults”

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(Psalm 51:5) and sin underlies the con-science (Jeremiah 17:9).

Permissive parenting is also steeped

in the philosophy of moral relativism, aphilosophy that purports that there areno absolute or objective standards oftruth (or behavior) by which to live –the truth is whatever you want it to bein the moment, and is born within you.Moral relativism is diametrically op-posed to the biblical Story, which estab-lishes the concept of absolute truth be-ing found fundamentally within GodHimself, and responded to by hu-mankind.

The Rock Of AbsolutesThe rock-bottom foundation we areconstructing in our children’s lives isthe concept of absolute truth – truththat applies in all ages, at all times, forall people (Josh McDowell). Absolutetruth is a core principle in God’s econo-my, and in a relativistic and tolerant age(tolerance has its up and its down side),is often dispensed with in favor of im-mediate feelings. Absolute truth, foundin the riches of the Scriptures, is theplatform from which we seek to instillvalues and create an ethical frameworkin the hearts and minds of our children.

When children learn to be obedientto the law of love, modeled by Jesus andthose parents (hopefully) who are com-

mitted to following him, then they arebeing equipped to be adults. A parentreceives no greater gift than to see their

child walking closely with God, hear-ing His voice for themselves and others,and living a life full of the loving au-thority that characterized Jesus.

Proactive Parents In A Reactive WorldAs those who seek to become God-cen-tered parents, it is our responsibility tolook carefully and critically at the par-enting methods that have influencedus. We must weigh them against thestandard of God’s Word, and recognizethat we are responsible to adjust ourparenting method even when it runsagainst the prevailing culture of our ownexperience.

We are called to be proactive par-ents, parenting with a purpose and agoal before us; not reactive and haphaz-ard in our parenting. The world will bequite happy to raise our kids for us;even to entertain them for hours a dayso that we can get some peace. Yet youand I are designed for this privilege ofparenting, and though it may cost useverything we have, we were made tolove and learn as we parent our chil-dren. God, who is the perfect Parent, hasgiven us everything we need for the actof worship that is parenting – and willHimself see us through.

Further Resources:

www.family.org This is the excellent website of FocusOn The Family, and is a portal to hun-dreds of resources covering all aspectsof parenting, marriage and family life.They also have just produced a fullDVD church curriculum for a parent-ing class.

Boundaries With Kidsby Cloud and Townsend.

Parenting Isn’t For Cowardsby James Dobson.

A Family Of Valueby John Rosemond.

Anita Wilt is an educator, mother of Anna (14), Abi-gail (12) and Benjamin (9), and wife of Inside Wor-ship editor Dan Wilt. She has taught on issues re-lated to family life and parenting in various confer-ences and events. Her heart’s passion is to see thefamily strengthened, resourced and empowered inour generation – to the honor of God in the world.

A N I TA W I LT W I T H D A N W I LT

“cultivating love and obedience”

10I N S I D E W O R S H I P

Every family needs to develop someway of spending time with God… to-gether. In today’s fast-paced and self-ab-sorbed societies, families can choose toturn their attention to God, as a team,in the midst of the demands of school,work and living.

Here are a few ideas for developing afamily worship life at home:

Use Daily Rhythms To Read Together.If morning comes too early for you,consider having a short time, after sup-per, where your family reads a fewchapters in the Scriptures (Proverbs has31 chapters – enough for one per dayfor one month), an inspirational fact orfiction book. Well-written books aboutthe children’s heroes, or about inspiringfollowers of Jesus, can seed great ideasin the heart of the whole family.

I N S I D E W O R S H I P

Ideas For Family Devotion

Always end in a brief prayer (the familythat prays together, stays together), ask-ing God to energize your family withthe themes you just read about.

Create Holiday Worship Rituals.Favorite family times often surround apattern or practice that occurs everyyear at the same time. With young chil-dren, you may want to read the Easterstory out loud and act it out with yourgiggling actors. You may all snuggle upwith popcorn on Christmas Eve towatch It’s A Wonderful Life, and to dis-cuss the importance of each member ofthe family to the other ones. CelebrateThanksgiving with a post-meal time ofspoken gratefulness and singing. Estab-lish rituals – and let them take on a lifeof their own.

Use Bedtime To Its Fullest.Whether a child is a toddler or a teen, the times when theyare going to bed may be some of the most teachable momentsyou ever get with them. Many teens still love to be read to atnight, even if only for a few minutes. Read the scriptures, orbooks (such as The Lord Of The Rings, or The Chronicles OfNarnia) to introduce ideas about how they are living theirlives. As well, always pray for your children at bedtime, andbless them as a parent.

Make Your Home Into A Gathering Place.Invite friends over for evenings of worship, Scripture readingand prayer. When children are younger, simply being in theatmosphere of passionately worshiping people can inspiretheir young souls toward God. When children are older, in-vite them to join the time in a way that honors them, and in-vite people with which they connect.

Remember to keep your family worship times short, focusedand well-planned – a rich inheritance will be passed on forgenerations to come.

songstory11

Developing the song Sweetly Brokenwas a lengthy, two-year journey ofthought and feeling on the cross. I re-member sitting in my church office af-ter a particularly frustrating week, andthinking on how sinfully I had re-sponded to the numerous challengespresented to me. It was quite clear tome that I was not a vision of radiantand righteous character. In that mo-ment, not having a bit of my own right-eousness to cling to, I realized I neededto cling to His – accomplished through

His work on the cross. On my own andby myself, I was lost. Melody and wordscollided as I penned the first couplelines. “To the cross I look, to the cross Icling.” There was simply nowhere elseto look, and no other place to cling.

Jeremy Riddle is the Middle School Pastor andWorship Leader at Vineyard Anaheim.

After the completion of the Just LikeHeaven CD, some of the worship lead-ers and myself decided to gathermonthly to share and discuss newsongs. One of the topics that seemed tofrequently present itself dealt with up-beat, opening songs. One night athome, I picked up my guitar and beganto worship. I discovered a new melodyline that had the drive and intensity foran opening song. Later that week, I wasreading Psalm 95. The verses immedi-ately registered within my heart. It wasobvious that this Psalm was a call toworship. I knew right then I had thefoundational theme for Bless His Name.

Bless His Name was not written out ofthe need for a new song. God however,in His goodness, provided one. Bless HisName was written with the intent tocall God’s people into His presence, torecognize His worthiness and to rejoicein His holy Name.

Tony Sanchez leads worship at Vineyard Anaheim.

Sweetly Broken

Bless His Name

The songs Sweetly Broken and Bless His

Name are two new offerings from Vine-

yard Music USA. Here are the stories

behind these two new songs of worship.

J E R E M Y R I D D L E

T O N Y S A N C H E Z

12I N S I D E W O R S H I P musicianship

God has created such amazing diversi-ty. No two guitarists would play exactlythe same thing, given any particularmusical context. As I start this article, Iwant to encourage all guitarists, nomatter what your level of ability is:

As long as what you’re playing is appro-priate for the context, it doesn’t have to bethe same as what anyone else would do.

Them Fleshy Things On Your HeadIf you’re wondering what is appropriateto play in a particular context, themfleshy things sticking out of either sideof your head can come in pretty handy.We call them “ears.”

Firstly, listen to the music that the oth-er band members are playing. Considerhow you can embellish, and comple-

ment, what is going on without hijack-ing it (this can be difficult for some gui-tarists). Also, listen to what your wor-ship leader says when you ask him orher, “What kind of stuff do you wantme to play on this one?” You may findthat your worship leader really likesthe guitar style of a particular band, inwhich case you can listen to some oftheir music and see how you can bringit in to your playing.

Complementing The BandWhen I talk about complementingwhat the rest of the band is doing, thiscan vary greatly depending on whatother instruments are being played.Worship bands can get really crowdedin the mid-range – i.e. 3 vocals, acousticguitar, keyboard, piano, electric guitar,and the occasional bass player ventur-ing up the dusty end of the fret board!All are playing at once.

To counter this in a large band, you asan electric guitar player may only needto play 3 note chords, just hitting eachchord once at the front of each bar and

letting the notes ring. You may want toresist playing during the verses of asong. On another song, you could bedriving it on the electric and the othermusicians will need to hold back.

What’s Right For The Arrangement?Choose what’s right for the arrange-ment. It can be very difficult to mini-mize what you play, especially whenyou’ve been working so hard on run-ning up and down the fret board at lifethreatening speeds! But we’re not inworship bands to impress or gain atten-tion for ourselves – we’re here to serve,and that’s a great privilege.

If you are in a power trio or a band,where it’s really down to you to fill outthe mid-range, then you’re going toneed to play fuller chords more of thetime and ensure that there is some har-monic backing to the vocals. A reason-able array of sounds will also enableyou to prevent things from becomingtoo sonically boring.

In Search OfThe Mighty ElectricJ A M E S W H I T E

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On Sound EffectsThis leads us on to a few points aboutsounds. If you use a few differentsounds, try and maintain similar vol-ume levels and general tone levels be-tween each sound. By tone levels, Imean the balance of bass, mids and tre-ble. When you’re setting up yoursounds, try to do so with the amp point-ing at your head rather than your knees– the sound is very different! Again, youmay want to check in with your wor-ship leader about which of your soundshe or she prefers.

On PracticingBe realistic about where you’re at as aguitarist. Aim to achieve just the nextstep. Make sure you are competent ateach step before moving on.

Listen to CDs and copy their guitarparts. I learned most of my skills fromplaying with CDs, and most of my prac-tice time now is just spent jamming

along with CDs. It’s a great way of mak-ing sure you are keeping time andsounding fluid. In most contexts, youwill spend the vast majority of yourtime playing rhythm guitar, so makesure you don’t neglect your chords andtiming if your preference is to playleads.

Simple is often best for lead playing. Ifthere is a bit of musical space in whichyou can do some lead playing, just play-ing the vocal melody can be great. Thisis also something you can learn in ad-vance if you’re not comfortable withimprovising. If you’re confidentenough, you can also drift in and out ofplaying the vocal melody by just usingcertain phrases from it.

Always remember that our job isn’t toimpress people with our latest trick,but to help people engage in worship-ing our great and wonderful God.

James White is part of the Mercy Vineyard, achurch plant in Southampton, UK. James has beenplaying guitar since he was 16, and has played fornumerous Vineyard Music UK recordings andevents – when he’s not working at his daytime of-fice job.

14

Used by permission of www.boldsfold.com.

I N S I D E W O R S H I P

bold’s fold

songwriting

IntroductionWorship songs are vital tools as weteach our children how to connectwith God, and the biblical truths onwhich they can base their lives. Just aswhen writing “adult songs,” it takeshard work to turn inspirational ideasinto quality songs. We constantly needto strive for fresh lyrics, catchy tunes,and sound doctrine. Here are a few oth-er tips you might consider.

Different Song StylesChildren’s songs come in a variety ofstyles, and while energetic praisesongs are important and often popular,you could also consider writing a sim-ple worship or ministry song. Songsthat specifically aim to teach truths orstories can play a vital role in helpingchildren to learn the Bible. Having abreadth of song styles is so importantfor teachers as they plan worship thatreinforces and complements their les-sons.

Catchy Tunes & Funky GroovesI would strongly encourage you tomake sure you are familiar with con-temporary musical styles so that youcan write using grooves that the chil-dren relate to and adults enjoy. A strongbeat will always help people to enter in-to the song, and a catchy melody is ab-solutely essential.

Themes & LanguageI would favour using everyday lan-guage, and avoid religious or churchyjargon at all costs. This doesn’t meanthat the songs lack substance or depth.Children can understand deep conceptsas long as the words don’t put them off!If you do use a more grown up word,make sure that it is in keeping with thetheme, and that the other lyrics in thesong explain it’s meaning.

A simple song with simple lyrics willalways work (e.g. I Like God, FatherGod). Songs that use everyday kids’ lan-guage (e.g. “cool, sorted, wicked”) canbe really effective too, but may have thepotential to date! All children enjoy us-ing actions (or ‘hand motions’), so ac-tive words like clap, stamp, dance, runor shout can easily hook children into asong. Songs that use vivid or descrip-tive images will help to paint a memo-rable picture and fire the imagination(e.g. You Won’t Get To Heaven On TheBack Of A Camel, I May Live In A GreatBig City).

Lastly, road-testing your songs withchildren is an absolute must. Do be pre-pared to re-write, depending on howwell they go down. Go for it!

Nigel Hemming is songwriter based at South Birm-ingham Vineyard Church, UK where he is part ofthe team responsible for co-ordinating worshipand children’s ministry along with his wife Jo.They have two children, Rebekah and Zac, and en-joy Indian food, movies and family bike rides.

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To order, call 1-800-852-8463 or go to www.vineyardmusicusa.com

new releasesFROM VINEYARDMUSIC USANEW AND…

Two brand new

Spanish releases…

GRACIAS POR LA CRUZ (THANK YOU FOR THE CROSS)A compelling studio recording from LatinAmerica. Be inspired by Spanish renditions of currentVineyard songs such as Your Love Reaches Me,More Than A Friend and the title track, ThankYou For The Cross. Expand your horizons intomulticultural worship with these new songsand fresh arrangements.

YO CLAMO A TI (GOOD TO ME) Live Spanish worship straight from CostaRica, full of energy and honesty. This powerful album features Spanish ver-sions of Breath of God, Holy Is the Lord, andmore.

PLAY LIST: SWEETLY BROKEN This Play List release from Vineyard MusicUSA, Sweetly Broken, is power-packed withthe strongest songs currently impactingVineyard churches. We Need Your Touch byCasey Corum, Bless His Name by TonySanchez, and the title cut, Sweetly Brokenby Jeremy Riddle.

The first “toolbox” project since Dwell (2004),Sweetly Broken is already making an impacteven in pre-release. A companion DVD completewith instrumental tutorials and much more willbe released later in 2006.

GODLOVESKIDS!

An outreach resource for kids’ ministry! Encourage kidsto worship with these colorful “giveaway” CDs.

These CDs are available in bulk and make amazing gifts for kids andparents in your church.

Call 1-800-852-8463 for ordering information.

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A

For the complete line of Vineyard worship resources, visit

6 Audio Training CDs for you and your worship team! Featuring seasoned leaders BrianDoerksen, Brenton Brown, Kathryn Scott, Matt Redman, Tim Hughes and N. T. Wright.

also aVaIlaBLE:

Leading Worship: DVD and Study Tools Companion CD

What Is Worship? is a venture deep into the heart of the human being, and in-to the heart of biblical worship. Weaving together biblical insights with power-ful interviews, this high-quality DVD summarizes the passion and the posturebehind the worship the Father seeks. Essential training for every pastor, wor-ship leader and worshiper.

With guests N.T. Wright, Matt Redman, John Eldredge, Brian Doerksen, Tim Hughes, Don Williams, Kathryn Scott, David Ruis and many others. Hosted by Vineyard worship leader Dan Wilt.

Coming soon

Songwriting For Worship: DVD and Study Tools Companion CD

PlayA brief guide toplaying the guitar.

Instructional Guide.Includes Audio CD.

also aVaIlable

NEW

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BRIAN DOERKSEN MATT REDMAN DAVID RUIS TIM HUGHES