a cuban christmas carol
TRANSCRIPT
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A Cuban Christmas Carol
By Adriana Abich
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Characters:
NarratorRaul Scrooge
Cuca Cratchit
Ghost 1 Celia Cruz
Ghost 2 - Che Guevarra
Ghost 3 Fidel Castro
3 Cratchit Children
Scene 1 Scrooge is working at his desk.
Narrator
It is the day before Christmas in Havana and Fidel Scrooge,
a mean, cranky, old man is working in his office when his
secretary Cuca Cratchit enters.
Cuca CratchitBuenos dias, jefe!
Raul Scrooge
Good day? Whats so good about it?
Cuca Cratchit
Mr. Scrooge, tomorrow is Christmas. May I have the day
off?
Raul Scrooge
No! Coo! Christmas is just another work day!
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Cuca Cratchit
Pero la navidad is a time for giving. Its a special time for
people to share with familia and friends.
Raul Scrooge
Bah! Humbug! Its a capitalist holiday! Dont you think I
have given enough, Cuca Cratchit? I gave all the peasants
land . I made all of them literate, and I equalized the
playing field for everyone in Cuba.
Cuca CratchitExcept theres no jobs, no money and no Forever 21!
Raul Scrooge
Dont blame me! Blame the embargo! Damn Gringos!
Cuca Cratchit
Porfavor, jefe!?
Raul Scrooge
Bueno, take tomorrow off but I am going to take it out of
your ration of soap and baby formula for the month.
Cuca Cratchit
Oh gracias jefe, gracias! But, what will I do without soap
this week?
Raul Scooge
Take a Puerto Rican shower.
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Cuca Cratchit
A sponge bath! Good idea!
Thank you, jefe. Hasta la Victoria siempre!
Fidel Scrooge
Bah! Humbug!
Scene 2 Scrooge is sitting on a bed wearing his
Nightcap.
Narrator
That Night, Scrooge has a very bad dream because he ate a
big plate of ropa vieja. He dreams that 3 frightened
ghosts visit him, one at a time
(Ghost 1 enters and stands by Scrooges bed.)
Ghost 1 - Celia Cruz
Azucar!
Fidel Scrooge
Cono! You scared the shit out of me! Who are you?
Celia Cruz
Celia Cruz, Viejo barbudo! I am the ghost of Cuba past.
Follow me.
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Raul Scrooge
(rises and follows, they walk to one side of the stage)
Amazing! I can see myself years ago when I was a young
man.
Ghost 1 Celia Cruz
Yes and its1965. Azucar! Rum was flowing, you and your
brother were hanging out at the Malcon. Christmas was
still celebrated back then until 1969, when it was banned I
think you liked Christmas back then, and I think you liked
Cuba back then too. Azucar!
Narrator
The ghost vanishes. Then, a second ghost appears.
(Ghost 2 approaches Scrooge)
Ghost 2 Che GuevarraCompaero,
Raul Scrooge
Ave Maria! Companero Che! What are you doing here
chico? I thought you were dead!
Che Guevara
I am so dont rub it in, ok? I am the ghost of Cuba present.
We will now visit Cuca Cratchits family.
The Cratchit Family appears on stage with empty plates.
The youngest, Tito looks small and sickly.
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Raul Scrooge
They are eating Christmas dinner. Fidel was right when he
reinstated Christmas 3 years ago. But, there is no food on
those plates and Tito looks so small and sickly.??
Ghost 2 Che Guevarra
Thats because they dont have enough food to eat
compaero. You havent taught them. I told your brother,less money on armies, more money on industry and
agriculture. But he didnt listen. He never listens!
Raul Scrooge
No! Che! Dont leave us again! Ill be sure to watch your
movie with Benicio del Toro!
Narrator
This ghost also vanishes. Then, a third ghost appears. He
is even scarier than the other two.
Ghost 3 approaches Scrooge
Ghost 3 Fidel Castro
I am the ghost of Cuba Future. Follow me and you will see
what lies ahead. But beware. It may not be a pretty sight.
You havent been a very good man in recent months.
Raul Scrooge
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(He lies down on his bed and sleeps as if having a bad
dream) Fidel! No please! I cant take any more of this!!!
Scrooge wakes up from his nightmare. He is shakingfrom head to toe. He leaves.
Scene 3 Cuca Cratchit is sitting on a chair. Three
children are standing around him.
Narrator
The next morning, Scrooge visits Cuca Cratchit at home.
Scrooge enters carrying a pig, mojo, rice and beans ANDSOAP.
Cuca Cratchit
Mr. Scrooge! What are you doing here? Entre, entre.
Raul Scrooge
Ive come to wish you a merry Christmas.
Cuca Cratchit
I thought you said it was capitalist holiday designed for
mindless consuming of materialistic crap?
Raul Scrooge
No! It is the celebration of the birth of Christ and a time to
share food with family and friends. I brought you a lechon
with mojo de ajo.
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Cuca Cratchit
Ave Maria del cobre! Did you hear that Tomasito? We are
going to eat!
Raul Scrooge
Not only that I also brought you all bars of soap!
EVERYONE
Yay!!!
Cuca Cratchit
But I dont understand. I thought you didnt like Cuba, Imean Christmas.
Raul Scrooge
You were right all along Cuca. Christmas is a time for
giving. Ive learned my lesson. Now I know its time for the
U.S. to start giving. I think there new president
Cuca Cratchit
You mean the tall cute negrito that looks like hes from
Matanzas?
Raul Scrooge
Yes. Obama. He knows we are all human beings and he
will end the embargo and help us gain freedom once again.
Cuca Cratchit
We also need change and hope.
Raul Scrooge
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Yes we can! And a Merry Christmas to us all!
THE END