A Contemporary

Christmas Carol

By Hieronymus Boz

A Contemporary Christmas Carol

By Hieronymus Boz

Copyright 2014

1st Edition

1

Oh, and Scrooge was true to his word. He

gave up the base profession of counting

pennies and hiding wealth. Scrooge

reformed and became a generous spirit,

opening the Old Toystore solely for the

purpose of making children smile.

Stave the First:

The Old Toystore

2

Every day the happy children ran beaming

into the Old Toystore, and the girls would

have tea parties with dolls, the boys would

play with toy cars and planes and soldiers,

and all would enjoy the challenge of the

puzzles and the magic of puppets dancing.

Most of all, they loved the lifelike little boy

puppet,

Pinocchio. When

Scrooge pulled

his strings,

everyone

watched.

3

Yet a shadow did loom over the quaint

Old Toystore. That shadow came from

Mephisto's, a large, multi-storey shop that

sold cheap toys. A new storey was added

to this

monstrous

centre weekly,

until the sun

that had gently

lathered that

Old Toystore

was hidden by

darkness.

4

The children still came to play, but their

parents did not buy. They instead bought

from the cheaper Mephisto's.

Scrooge's days of counting money were

behind him, but it was thrift and reserves

of money that he needed now, more than

ever.

It was ironic that on this Christmas Eve, of

all times, Scrooge's money problems

would force him to close the Old

Toystore forever.

5

On this Christmas Eve, children did still

play, and the parents still did not buy, and

Scrooge shut the door to the Old

Toystore, penniless.

He went to his bed forlorn and sad that

the money counters would soon knock on

his door demanding rent which he could

not pay, then demanding that good old

Scrooge be cast into the streets.

Scrooge knew that Christmas miracles

only happened once a lifetime.

6

"Who's there?" called out Scrooge,

disturbed in the darkness from his sleep.

It was creaking of floorboards, footsteps

that wished to be quiet as they sounded.

Scrooge's heart beat rapidly and

heavily, and he arose from his

bed, lit a candle, and crept.

A finger tapped his shoulder and Scrooge's

skeleton did nearly leap from its skin, his

breath lost in panic, as he swiftly swivelled

and saw a hooded beast. The shock

subsided, but the fear did not. Scrooge

trembled, unable to speak or breathe.

7

"Don't be afraid," said the hooded one,

wearing casual jeans and a relaxed smile

that Scrooge found terrifying in the

circumstances.

"I may be able to help with your finances."

Scrooge stuttered:

"Who... are... you?"

"Let me introduce myself," said the fresh

sounding youth, removing his hood,

politely placing an electronic tablet on the

floor so he could extend his hand.

"Im Mephisto."

8

Mephisto, that devil who had constricted,

wrenched and destroyed the Old

Toystore, that devil who had sent Scrooge

broke and ruined the happiness of the

town's children, stood before him.

"I can give you the cash to save the Old

Toystore, said he, but..."

But what? said Scrooge, the little

remaining colour in his cheeks now fading

to a deathly pale in anticipation.

"To save the Old Toystore, you must give

me Pinocchio," said Mephisto.

9

Mephisto posed an existential threat to Scrooges business model

10

"He... Hes priceless. I cannot sell him."

"Oh yes you can."

In the spirit of Christmas, pleaded

Scrooge, spare this special puppet. He is

carved of the True Cross."

"Bah! Commerce is the spirit of

Christmas, and fragmenting your priceless

toy will make me money. I tell you what

Ill be back on the stroke of six, and either

the Old Toystore will close, or you will

deliver Pinocchio to me and save all. Until

then, savour your three nightmares."

11

Mephisto did casually leave, not

retrieving his electronic tablet, the

apple insignia glowing. Scrooge muttered:

How dare he tell me, of all people, about

the spirit of Christmas! And three

nightmares! What nonsense.

Protest as he might, Scrooge had to

decide whether he could sacrifice

Pinocchio to save all. He could not. He

would not. But he had no choice.

And so Scrooge, with head hanging low,

hung a 'SOLD' plaque around the neck of

Pinocchio. He went back to bed sobbing.

12

For a toy, being sold is like death. The Old

Toystore was the only reality that they

had ever known, and to be sold was to

have it all taken away. Death is the only

way that us non-toys can understand what

it is like to be sold.

Stave the Second:

A Nightmare

13

So when Pinocchio awoke with the

'SOLD' sign hanging around his neck,

though it was a single word it

read as a death sentence.

Pinocchio's happy days of

playing with the other

toys, of playing

with the children,

were behind him.

He had been

sentenced to death.

14

"Cheer up, old friend," said that dapper

locust in his left ear. "You have only been

sold because you have displeased your

creator. Why else would he get rid of

you? If you want to stay, you just have to

be a bit more of a palatable guest."

Those words were soothing to the

depressed Pinocchio. His death sentence

now had an escape clause.

"You mean..."

"I mean get serious, start acting in the

right way."

15

Pinocchio of the True Cross was led by conscience rather than DNA

16

"Act the right way? How do I do that?"

asked Pinocchio.

"Oh, that's easy, I would have thought.

And obvious. All you have to do is find the

young, male toys and cut off the loose flap

of skin on their ears. That'll keep the man

upstairs happy."

"It will?"

"Absolutely, positively, obviously. No time

to waste, let's get to it!"

17

The first piece of skin was difficult to

remove from the baby boy, especially with

Pinocchios rusted knife, and especially

given that innocent, playful

Pinocchio was not made

for blood and cutting

flesh. How that poor

baby did cry as that

knife severed slowly, leaving a final, sinewy

strand hanging painfully, which Pinocchio

tore off with his wooden hands. Tears fell

in a bloody stream down the babys neck.

18

It was easier the next time, and the time

after that, as Pinocchio did sever the loose

pieces of skin from the ears of the boys,

all in the name of being a good guest.

With one baby toy to go, toy Santa did

see the bloodshed and did shout to

Pinocchio with jolly horror.

"Ho, ho ho! What in God's name is going

on? I see pain and suffering. And that is

just not right at this time of year. Its

Christmas!"

19

Santa wanted to make a heaven on earth, while others saw earth as heavens audition

20

"Bah, its Santa! said the dapper locust.

This fool thinks that Christmas is all

about giving and happiness, when its

really about sacrifice. Take him

out with this slingshot."

" What? Take him out? Oh my!"

Yep. Just put the marble here.

Now hold the sling. Pull back. And wham!"

Before Pinocchio knew what he had done,

Santa lay on the ground with blood

spouting from his skull. Those rosy, red

cheeks faded to pale death, and those

suffering baby dolls did scream louder at

the sight.

21

Pinocchio did leave the scene with

speeding feet, muttering "Oh dear!" as he

fled. He did not turn to see that jolly old

man rise again, a pale and ghostly spirit of

Christmas. Nor did Pinocchio see that

Christmas spirit tend to each baby

lovingly, wrapping their heads

in bandages, their pain

lessening as they licked

their lollipops. They

became happy again after

this warm, caring

treatment, in the true spirit

of Christmas.

22

Scrooge woke with a jerky suddenness.

Oh my, that dream seemed so real! It

was like my puppet was performing

atrocities, all to please me."

Scrooge smirked at the thought.

Not knowing whether he was dreaming

then or dreaming now, or awake both

times, he felt it necessary to inspect the

toys himself. In the shopfront he saw a bit

of unruliness, but was satisfied that a

nightmare it must have been. His

stimulated heart calmed, and he went back

to his bed.

23

With the SOLD sign remaining around

his neck, Pinocchio's heavy mind returned.

"I have tried hard to keep the creator

happy, but he did not remove the 'SOLD'

sign. My death sentence remains."

Stave the Third:

Another Nightmare

24

"Cheer up, old chap," said the dapper

locust, again speaking into his ear. "You're

on the right track you just have to do a

bit more, and do it a bit better.

"More? Oh dear!"

"Yep, impress the man upstairs a bit more.

You must unleash plague on the toys,

Pinocchio!"

With that, Pinocchio unplugged

the rat holes, so that the vermin and

cockroaches and termites could run and

spread their germs to the toys, gnawing

away at them, making them sick.

25

"You must throw hailstones of fire at the

gay toys!"

Pinocchio did as told, heating marbles on a

stove top then throwing those

molten projectiles down at

the toys who did not enjoy

the company of the

opposite gender, injuring them, maiming

them, disfiguring many of their faces.

These toys were now unrecognisable to

loved ones.

26

"You must kill all the male first born!"

Pinocchio reclaimed his dagger, before re-

thinking this last request.

"Oh dear! I have already cut off their skin.

I do say, taking their lives seems rather

excessive."

"Bah! Nothing excessive about it. Were

just following the rules laid out in this

book, Pinocchio.

Oh, a book? Who wrote this book?

No questions, just do what it says is

right! Kill the newborns."

27

So Pinocchio did not think, and set to

killing the first firstborn male he came

across, who happened to be a bandaged,

baby boy. Pinocchio pinned him to the

ground and raised his dagger, knowing

that the rusty knife needed force to

penetrate the baby's chest.

"Don't you dare!"

That powerful voice

stopped Pinocchio before he could

thrust the dagger. He looked back in

fright, and he saw the spirit of Santa

standing tall and strong before him.

28

"Don't you dare harm that baby!"

Santas face had a loving seriousness, like a

caring vet who can sympathise with a

snake.

"Dear Pinocchio, in the spirit of

Christmas, I beg you not to harm another

being."

Santas faded face was imploring and

convincing, and Pinocchio

dropped the dagger to the

floor unintentionally. Then,

unable to face his foe, he ran

away.

29

"Don't listen to that fool," called the

dapper locust, in chase. "Remember, its

not about stupid gift giving from a red sack

it's about suffering and the True Cross."

"Oh yes, its easy to forget that," said

Pinocchio, puffing and slowing.

"Then why settle for a maiming here and

some hellfire there? We can make all

suffer at once get it out of the way."

Why yes, it would certainly be efficient.

So we flood the Old Toystore, drowning

all but us. You cant be sold if youre all

thats left. Only question is, how?

30

Scrooge woke again, sweating, hands

trembling, the nightmare just as real as the

last and as satisfying as a horror movie.

Scrooge remembered his days of greed,

acquiring the priceless plank of the True

Cross by bankrupting a church, and

hoarding it as he would gold. After leaving

those days behind, he decided to make the

wood into a special puppet that would

bring joy. Was this puppet now showing

the spirit of Christmas?

Scrooge was agitated, but once again fell

into a slumber of lucid dreams.

31

Santa, that wonderful spirit intent on

making the world a more comfortable and

happier place, kept busy helping others. As

he finished bandaging the infirmed, he

found on the floor Mephisto's tablet with

the glowing apple insignia.

Stave the Fourth:

Final Nightmare

32

The apple was the sinful fruit, half

consumed in Eden, that condemned all to

a state of harmful ignorance. Now this

apple could increase knowledge, idea

sharing, and allow all to have the

knowledge to make the world happier,

more comfortable.

The spirit of Santa did create a plan of 7

steps, to be implemented according to a

project plan. Finally, with total knowledge

at hand, good intentions could be

implemented in a foolproof way.

He wrote this plan on tablet.

33

Tablets offer accessible solutions to all the worlds ills

34

I think Ive got it! said the dapper locust.

To flood the Old Toystore, we walk to

the fireplace, we light a smokey fire, we

let the smoke rise high, and the sprinklers

will flood the Old Toystore so that

everyone except for you and me in the

cavernous fireplace are destroyed."

Pinocchio pondered this as he looked at

toys he had disfigured. No more did he

want to hurt anyone. No more did he

want to follow his locust conscience.

Okay, resolved Pinocchio, standing tall.

We shall light the fire.

35

Pinocchio gathered large pieces of wood,

and he walked with them on his back,

slowly and painfully towards the

fireplace. When he reached it,

Pinocchio erected the wood and

he stood behind it.

"Ahh," said the dapper locust. "We forgot

about how well light this damned thing!"

Be patient, said Pinocchio, staring the

locust directly in the eye. Our creator

shall provide the spark for this sacrifice.

They waited, hiding amongst the wood.

Then the church bells chimed six.

36

As happened every morning in the Old

Toystore, at the chime of six a man not

yet bespectacled rushed his body down

the steep staircase, still half asleep, still in

his pyjamas, threw coffee in his cup, boiled

the kettle, grabbed a handful of bread and

buttered it roughly, braved the weather

outdoors, stooping with haste despite his

aching back to pick up the newspaper,

then quickly came indoors shivering,

threw whatever wood was needed onto

the fire and threw in a lit match. He then

warmed himself by the fire, coffee in hand.

37

"Where is it?" asked Mephisto, whose

appearance out of nowhere made Scrooge

jump. "Where is Pinocchio?"

Scrooge looked with sadness at

Pinocchios shelf. But he was not there!

Scrooge panicked. He searched and

searched, erratic, frantic. Pinocchio was

gone! How could he be gone?

Then Scrooge remembered. The

nightmares, and that last nightmare in

particular, where Pinocchio had taken

himself to the fireplace.

38

Scrooge looked at the fire and Mephisto

followed his gaze. The flames took hold of

this puppet of the True Cross, peacefully

consumed by the fire in its final act of self-

sacrifice, turning to ash, dissolving into

dust.

39

It takes tension to make a puppet dance.

This tension is between the string puller,

moving the strings upwards and sideways,

and the puppet itself, whose gravity pulls

downwards. Tension is a life force when

the strings are cut, all falls in a heap.

Stave the Fifth:

The End of It

40

It had all fallen in a heap for Scrooge, and

he wondered how it had happened.

The toys, led by Santa, had cut the

strings and made an existence

where they thought they did not need a

creator. But Santa had put too high a price

on their lives, and this ruined the cycle of

creation, shelf life, and sale that was

crucial to the Old Toystores purpose.

With their only guiding moral being

survival, the purpose of the toys lives

became circular and ultimately

meaningless.

41

Pinocchio had not helped, either. He was

the one link between the temporal and

the ethereal, and decided to sever that

link through self-sacrifice. Pinocchio

reasoned that if the idea of a creator was

gone, bad things done by trying to please

that creator would go too.

The toys could use their own reason to

live their lives.

* * *

That was how Scrooge's Old Toystore

had fallen in a heap.

42

Scrooge was now an outcast.

The creditors acted swiftly, and

Mephisto was ruthless in offering no

further mercy to the man who had

sabotaged his prize.

Scrooge was cold and shivering as he

settled down across the street from the

Old Toystore, looking on at the signs

being dismantled, the suited hyenas taking

out toys and valuables piece by piece.

He was unwell at this time, his dreams of

a happier existence destroyed, his world

view jaded.

43

A family with a small boy and girl, all

wearing Santa hats, walked past Scrooge,

the mother smiling his way.

"Merry Christmas!" said she.

"Bah!" was all that Scrooge could respond.

He watched the kids merrily fondle toys

as the family entered the Church, where

all would kneel before the sacrificial

cross, joyfully celebrating the birth

of that culminating figure of Biblical

horror. Then they would go home,

and know that with new toys and gadgets

their lives would be happier and easier.

44

Scrooge imagined their Christmas lunch,

and he spat at the thought. The family

would sit colourfully around the table, and

friends and relatives would likewise take

their seats. One obnoxious uncle would

boast about his worldly achievements

during the year. A pious aunt would

remind all that it is a spiritual occasion,

and to remember the cross. And there

would be tension at the table, arguments,

ending with he on the left muttering under

his breath, she on the right meekly

thinking injurious thoughts.

45

Scrooge watched other happy families

walk by, nonchalantly trapped in this same

tension between Santa and suffering.

Then a revelation hit Scrooge.

All mythology aside, Christmas is a time

when tension rises. Yet people, rather

than avoid it and hide away in misery,

instead anticipate, congregate, celebrate,

with friends and family.

Far from being bad, tension is a life force.

Scrooge smiled at the thought, and could

not help but mutter thoughtfully:

"Merry Christmas? Humbug!"