a comprehensive guide to the top 5 worst animated movies...

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a comprehensive guide to the top 5 worst animated movies of all time by kaley hamilton

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a comprehensive guide to the

top 5 worst animated movies

of all time

by kaley hamilton

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The art of animation, and how it has gone so wrongIn the good ol’ days of Walt Disney, animation was an innovative and groundbreaking media with which to tell stories. As the years progressed and animation techniques were improved upon, so did the popularity of animation grow. The media was mostly aimed at younger audiences, who were captivated by animation’s fun styles and imaginative storytelling.

Now, fast-forward to The Present. With the development of 3D and computer animation, so has come along an onslaught of horribly-animated films from companies looking to make a quick buck. These films are a dime-a-dozen nowadays, and they’ve become an art of their own.

“The Top 5 Worst Animated Films of All Time” is a brochure that sets out to document these feature-length trainwrecks, and bring their beauty to a broader audience. If you are ever having a bad week, or just need a good laugh, set these 5 movies into your Queue and follow along as we take you on a journey of bad animation.

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what the heck is this brochure?

A true tragedy at seaHave you ever sat down on your couch and pondered “I wonder what the mice aboard The Titanic thought about the ship?” If you have, you are not only a very strange person, but we have the movie for you. The Legend of the Titanic is an Italian film from 1999 that tells the supposed “true story” of the Titanic (yes, because the Titanic was definitely not a real ship). The film is told from the viewpoint of a mouse aboard the Titanic who falls in love with a woman on the ship who is being forced to marry someone she doesn’t love. Although the animation itself isn’t completely terrible, the writing alone could make you gag. If you are an avid history lover, this movie is sure to make you absolutely cringe.

a brief overview of 'The Legend of th e titanic'

• There are talking mice aboard the Titanic. TALKING MICE.

• There’s no sign of Leonardo Dicaprio anywhere

• The leading female goes out to the dock so that she can talk to magical dolphins

• One of the mice falls in love with the leading (human) female

• Really bad 3D graphics randomly spewn across the movie

• There’s a stereotypical bad guy who wants a rich man’s daughter in marriage so that he can become wealthier

• The male love interest looks like an older Tuxedo Mask

• All of the voices sound as if they’re done by the same person

• There’s at least 3 parts where you think that the movie is over and everything is resolved, but then it just keeps going

• The Titanic sinking was caused by an octopus throwing iceburgs in a contest (obviously)

• The octopus character has a dog-like head and 8 beefy arms (???)

• Lots of sexist lines

• The octopus who caused the Titanic to sink ends up saving the ship and everyone lives. HUR-FREAKING-RAY.

IMDB rating:

0.5 out of 5 stars

this is the worst thing that humans have created.

”-VideoMasher3000, IMDB

(spoiler alert: it's crap)

how far down did the titanic sink?

trick question.it didn t sink because the talking octopus saved the ship.

5. The Legend of the Titanic

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life is a freakin' jungle kids, and so is this movie.

on a scale of 1-10, how boring is this awful piece of cinema?

Number 4 on our list of horrible movies is ‘Life’s a Jungle: Africa’s Most Wanted’. Not to be mistaken with Madagascar, Life’s a Jungle is a 2012 3D animated film about a spoiled dog named Pip who accidentally falls out of a safari jeep while his owners are touring Africa. You might be thinking “Wow, Pip must undergo some great character development, right?” WRONG. Pip is annoying from beginning to end. He makes a big deal out of every little thing that the animals in the wild do, especially going to the bathroom without any toilet paper (GASP).This movie suffers for a lot of reasons, the main being the crappy animation. The character stylization is horrid: you can’t tell

what half of the animals are. The animation itself is stiff and rigid. Like, backbrace rigid. The sound effects and animation don’t line up as well, and most of the sound effects are cheap stock sounds that feel out of place (but really, everything in this movie is). If you are looking for an awkward piece of backpain-inducing cinema, Life’s a Jungle, Africa’s Most Wanted is the movie for you.

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10

as boring as this leaf.

4. Life's A JungleIt’s been a month since I’ve seen this and I’m still angry that it exists.

”-EntertainMeOrDie, IMDB

A Space Odyssey? Doesn't Compare.

“As humans, we must ask ourselves the important questions. Why are we here? Are we alone in this universe? Do we have a purpose? I believe that this purpose was to create a cinematic masterpiece unlike any that has preceded it by mankind. This movie has fulfilled all these expectations brought on to us by the greater good of the cinematic world. Citizen Kane? Never heard of it. Gone With the Wind? I have wiped my buttock with better scripts than that of Gone With the Wind. Life’s a Jungle put me on a roller coaster of emotions. This movie has taught me about the power of love, friendship, loyalty, and manhood. The young, feeble-minded directors of today could learn a thing or two from the masterpiece that is Life’s a Jungle. Quentin Tarantino, take notes. Humanity has a lot to learn from this wonderful, powerful experience.”

A review by Matthew “The Toilet” Bellamy, IMDB.

IMDB rating:

1 out of 5 stars

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0 %

10 0%

3. Romeo and Juliet: Sealed with a Kissfor never was a story of more woeWhen you were in middle school and had to read through the long-winded script of Romeo and Juliet, did you ever daze off into the distance and wonder “did Shakespeare intend for these characters to be seals?”. If you did, you’re not alone: Phil Nibbelink’s film Romeo and Juliet: Sealed with a Kiss is the classic love story we all know, except with seals. And a lot of really bad jokes. The first thing that should be noted about this film is that all the animation was done by Phil Nibbelink, a former Disney animator. While that seems like an impressive feat, the animation quality is not. The film has an ever-changing color pallette and relies on gradients to do most of the shading. The movie is essentially an eyesore from beginning to end. The movie also features an annoying fish (played by Nibbelink’s daughter), a noncohesive soundtrack, and a lot of bad lines.

special features:

how much of the movie is made of gradients?

• Complete destruction of the original story

• The “soundtrack” is made of pre-made music from the internet, which have been recorded over with new song lyrics

• Lots of borderline-offensive jokes

• An annoying fish character whose lines were ad-libbed

• Some sprinkles of decent animation

• ENDLESS FISH PUNS.

so much.the whole movie was gradients.

IMDB rating:

2 out of 5 stars

In my opinion, the worst film in the world.

“”-Brassduke, IMDB

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Imagine Sir Sean Connery. Now imagine Sir Sean Connery as a skateboarding grandfather who has to save a nearly-extinct beaver from evil police forces. I’m not describing a crazy fever dream; this is the actual plot of Sir Sean Connery’s last voice acting role in his career: Sir Billi. Sir Billi is a wild ride from start to finish. The animation is terrible, you can barely hear Sir Sean Connery’s lines half the time (speak up Billi!!!), and the plot is nonexistant. The movie makes a lot of blatent references to Connery’s past James Bond roles, complete with large-breasted women who are constantly fainting over Billi’s foxy grandpa aroma. Sir Billi was the first Scottish animated feature-length film, which makes its failure even more of a shame. This movie was so bad that the Scottish National Party chose to promote Pixar’s Brave instead of Sir Billi.

what was sean connery thinking?

how many big-breasted women can be crammed into this 76 minute movie?

fun facts:

• The budget for this movie was £15 million (~$22 million)

• The US release is named Guardian of the Highlands

• Gordon the goat is wearing a Kill Bill jumpsuit for no apparent reason

• Connery was very upset that Pixar’s Brave was more critically acclaimed than Sir Billi

there s never enough.'

2. Sir Billi

IMDB rating:

2 out of 5 stars

Rubbish in ways that seemed hitherto unimaginable

”-Alistair Harkness, Rotten Tomatoes

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What the heck is Foodfight?Here it is. Number 1. This is the WORST ANIMATED MOVIE OF ALL TIME. And believe us when we say this: it is in fact the worst animated movie of all time. Foodfight! is a 2012 3D animated movie that has a star-studded cast, including lead Charlie Sheen as Dex Dogtective (get it? ‘cause he’s a detective dog?). What the back of the box fails to tell you is that this movie is Grade A Crapola. The characters in Foodfight! are nightmare-inducing. Their 3D textures are crude and they make everyone and everything look shiny and gross. The animation is strange (We swear that some of the figures weren’t even rigged- they were just left to their own free will). The plot makes blatent Nazi references, and has a villainess who is way too sexy to be in a kids movie. In total, this movie cost $45 million to make, which is very evident in the finished product.

picture this:

IMDB rating:

Charlie Sheen Dex Dogtective

Eva Longoria Lady X

Jerry Stiller General X

Hilary Duff Sunshine Goodness

Wayne Brady Daredevil Dan

ChristopherLloyd

Mr. Clipboard

how much 'brand x' bleach will you need to cleanse your eyeballs?

all of it.every last drop.

1 gal

0.5 gal

0 gal

1 out of 5 stars(what a shock)

who allowed this movie to exist?Foodfight! was a movie long in the making. Production on the movie started in 1999, when Pixar’s Toy Story was all the rage. Threshold Entertainment wanted to create a similar idea, where food in a supermarket comes to life when the store is closed. Production on the movie was going well until

2002, when hard drives of the movie’s unfinished assets were stolen out of the studio, never to be seen again. Production was started again from scratch in 2004, where the style was changed from the original. We can only hope that someday those original files will come into light.

1. FOODFIGHT!A mindbogglingly convoluted chapter in animation and cinema itself

”-Steve Polaski, IMDB

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