a complaint free life
TRANSCRIPT
“不抱怨”運動• 美國著名心靈導師威爾 . 鮑溫於 2006 年發起• 邀請每位參加者戴上一個特製的紫手環，只要一察覺自己抱怨，就將手環換到另一隻手上，以此類推，直到這個手環能持續戴在同一隻手上 21 天為止• 傳遞“抱怨不如改變”的生活理念• 全世界 80 個國家 600 萬人參與了這項運動，學習以正面能量為自己創造美好的生活
How did this whole thing get started?
Rev. Will Bowen of One Community Spiritual Center in Kansas City, MO was teaching a series on Prosperity. Part of this series was helping the congregation to form a habit of gratitude by going 21-days without complaining. Studies show it takes 21 days for people to form a new habit. In an effort to make the lesson practical, the church purchased purple bracelets and gave them away encouraging them to move the bracelet to the other arm if they caught themselves complaining.
抱怨是消耗能量的無益舉動 如果我們對自己坦誠，就會發現生命中足以讓我們正當抱怨（表達哀傷、痛苦或不滿）的事件，其實寥寥可數。我們的抱怨多半都只是一堆“聽覺污染”，有害于幸福與美滿。 抱怨就好比口臭。當它從別人的嘴裡吐露時，我們就會注意到；但從自己的口中發出時，我們卻能充耳不聞。 當事情不太對勁，而你說了“當然會這樣囉”或是“難道你不知道嗎”時，你就是在傳送這樣的資訊：你在等待壞事的降臨。這個世界聽見了，就會帶來更多壞事給你。 那些覺得抱怨是理所當然的人，哪裡也到不了，只會在同一個不快樂的出發點原地打轉。我們的焦點必須要放在我們希望發生的結果上，而不是放在我們不要的事情上。 當你的嘴巴停止表達負面的思想，你的心靈就會產生其他更快樂的念頭。你的心靈就像一座意念工廠，隨時都在運作，若是負面的想法缺乏市場，工廠就會重建改組，轉而生產快樂的思想。
How do I use the purple bracelet to become a Complaint Free person?
Scientists believe it takes 21 days to form a new habit and complaining is habitual for most of us. As Twain said, we must coax our old behavior down the stairs. The purple bracelet is a powerful tool(s) to remind you of how well you are creating your life with positive intention. Here are the suggested rules:
1. Begin to wear the bracelet, on either wrist
2. When you catch yourself complaining, gossiping or criticizing (it’s ok, everyone does) move the bracelet to the other arm and begin again.
3. If you hear someone else who is wearing a bracelet complain, you may point out their need to switch the bracelet to the other arm; BUT if you’re going to do this, you must move your bracelet first!
4. Stay with it. It may take many months but when you reach 21 days you will find that your entire life is happier, more loving and more enjoyable.
沒有紫色手環• 可以用任何物品或標記代替• 亦可到下址免費下載桌面計時器
http://www.acomplaintfreeworld.org/widget
How do I know if I’m complaining?
To "Complain" is defined as "to express pain, grief, or discontent." Surely, it makes sense to express pain, grief or discontent occasionally but most people do so constantly. In so doing, they are talking and thinking about what they do not want in their life and, thereby, attracting more pain, grief and discontent. Instead, think and talk about what you are grateful for. Talk about what you DO want and not what you DON'T want.
How often does the average person complain?About 15 – 30 times each day.
How long should it take for me to become complaint free?
The average person who really gives this their best effort usually takes 4-10 months to go 21 consecutive days without complaining. This is not easy, but it’s worth it!
If I think a complaint but don’t speak it do I have to move my bracelet?
No, only if you speak a complaint aloud should you move your bracelet to the other arm But you will find that the more you stop articulating your complaints the less complaining thoughts you have. Through this process you will reformat your mental hard drive and become a happier person.
How can we affect positive change without complaining?
Complaining spreads negative energy and negative energy cannot create a positive outcome. Martin Luther King, Jr. didn’t stand before thousands in Washington, DC and shout, “Isn’t it awful how we’re being treated?” No. He shared his dream of a day when all children of all races would play and live together in peace and harmony. His vision galvanized our country and created positive change. For you to affect change, paint a bright vivid picture of the problem already solved and share this with as many people as you can.
Isn’t blowing off steam by complaining healthy?
Actually, studies have shown that complaining about one’s health actually tends to make a person’s health worse.
How can I get someone else to stop complaining?
Follow the words of Ben Franklin, “The best sermon is a good example.” As you begin to transform your life by not complaining, you will be an example of positive living and this will inspire all around you. Moreover, because you’re not participating in the griping, others will be far less likely to gripe to you.
你能不抱怨嗎？ 我敢說九成以上的人都沒聽過“不抱怨運動”，這不重要，重要的是，凡開始不再抱怨的人都笑顏逐開了，輕鬆了好多，也才憬悟到自己以前怎麼有如此多的埋怨啊！難怪老是不快樂，甚至難結善緣！原來問題都在自己身上！最早是美國牧師威爾 . 鮑溫發現周邊人的抱怨太多了，他自己也受影響，因此發起了“不抱怨運動”，並撰寫《不抱怨的世界》一書。借由紫手環，一旦發現自己開始抱怨和說閒話，就換手戴，直到 21天都在同一只手就成功了。坦白說這很難，可這個過程卻讓人欣慰，因為你會發現自己越來越心平氣和，快樂、友善的氛圍也越來越濃。不消說，最終的最大獲益者當然是自己！而總是抱怨同事或領導的人，往往在於習慣用自己的期望或角度看對方，如此，對方自然也多不會有好臉色，最後就成了辦公室“政治”的一部分，困擾許多人。事實上，包括對那種天生不對盤的工作夥伴來說，無論任何情況都處於不抱怨狀態的話，對方首先會覺得很怪，但怪得很舒服。心平氣和的態度會讓對手為自己先武裝起來的心態有些歉意，甚至想著該如何補償。如此，大家也才明白：“不抱怨”原來那麼有力量喔！
專欄作家 / 藍懷恩
在婚姻裡、家庭關係裡，道理也一樣。有幾位開始懂得反省自己的朋友承認，從前自己的抱怨還真不少！難怪病痛也總是沒完沒了；關係不佳，情感淡漠，都是嘮叨、抱怨過多的結果。因此，嘗試力行不抱怨，果然，每次都能“見證”到“奇跡”：病痛消失了，同事間互動順暢多了，夫妻關係品質提高了，親密感增加了。 我曾仔細研究這其中的學問在哪裡。總喜歡嘮叨批評的，大多是先發制人的自卑感或優越感作祟；愛說人家閒話的，肯定自己的精神生活貧乏或自我價值低落；動不動就抱怨的，則多屬於自我覺察的情緒管理能力較差，而背後很可能有連自己都沒有察覺的情結作梗。換句話說，不管對方如何，我們都能首先好好檢視一下自己是怎麼了，這是最萬無一失的方法，而且屢試不爽。有人需要通過神佛修養身心，也有人得繳一堆學費上這個那個課，只為找到自己；當然也還有更多忙得昏天黑地、麻木無感、日過一日的。但是，我敢保證，“不抱怨運動”一定是其中成本最低效果最好的。我們也會因此越來越明白什麼叫“庸人自擾之”！
你能不抱怨嗎？
偶然或機緣上月，我出差途中，遇上濃霧航機延時，在機場耽擱期間無意中看到和買了兩本附送紫色手環的書《不抱怨的世界》和《不抱怨的世界 2關係決定命運》。今天，你無意中收到我這分享。這可能只是你我忙碌的生活中一點無意義的偶然和干擾。然而，假如你對於“不抱怨”的第一反應是：1)“ 這對我可能有幫助”（像我一樣），或2)“ 我不需要，因為我不抱怨！”也許，這就是呼喚你重新檢視、選擇和塑造你的生活方式的某種機緣。
湯家耀2010 年 3月