7Sure-FireWaysToBoostYourConfidenceAndGetYouReadyFor

Marriage!IncreaseYourChancesofMeetingQuality

ProspectsForMarriage!

• Eradicatelowconfidence!Neverworryaboutmeetingorspeakingtopotentialmarriageprospectsagain!• BoostSelf-Esteem:Keymindsetshiftsthathelpyoure-wireyourbrainforsuccess• DealWithRejectionEffortlessly: Neverfeeldepressedaboutgoingthrougharejectioneveragain• AlwaysPutYourBestFootForward:Learnhowtohandleyourselfandyouremotions• AccelerateYourChancesofMarriageSuccess:Stoplimitingyourselfwhenitcomestomarriage- we'llshowyouhowtoimproveyourchancesoffindingtheone(orkeepingtheone!)

Introduction

You’reInTheRightPlaceIfYou’re:• ApractisingsingleMuslimlookingtogetmarried• Adivorceestartingover• Strugglingtofindtherightperson• Strugglingwithself-doubt,lowself-esteemandlowconfidence

Introduction

ThisIsNOTForYouIfYou’re:• Lookingforfunordatingoracasualrelationship• You’redon’tcareaboutyourdeen• You’renotcommittedtoimprovingyourlife– takeseffort!

Introduction

ArfaSairaIqbal• HeadofPureMatrimony• 5yearswithPureMatrimony• RelationshipexpertonIslamChannel• Iwanttohelpyouwinwithconfidence!

Introduction

•DefinitionofConfidence:

Thefeelingorbeliefthatonecanhavefaithinorrelyonsomeoneorsomething...

• Lowconfidenceisthekillerofdreams!

Confidence & Self-Esteem

•DefinitionofSelf-Esteem:

Confidenceinone'sownworthorabilities;self-respect

•Oftenusedinter-changeablywithselfworth

Confidence & Self-Esteem

• Lowself-confidenceandlowself-esteemcanleadto:• Depression,mentalhealthissues,poorself-image• Socialwithdrawal• Anxietyandemotionalturmoil• Eatingdisordersandneglectingone’sself• Negativityandpessimismandthinkinglikeavictim• Overlycriticalofones-self andputtingyourselfdown• Leaveyouvulnerable• Keepyoustuck• Makesyoufeelmiserable

Confidence & Self-Esteem

• Stopsyoufromlivingyourlifetoyourfullestpotential• Preventsyoufrommeetingnewpeople• Subconsciouslysabotageyourattemptsatfindingtherightperson• Holdsyoubackfromthethingsyouwantthemost• Miseryattractsmiserablecompany!• Createsdesperationandlowself-respect• Livinginfearandinthepastandoftenboth!• Makesyoufearanythingnew– people,places,situations• Createsanxietyandpanicattacks• Makesyoufeelreallydownanddepressed

How Does This Affect YOU?

• Depressionfromlowself-confidenceweakensyouremaan• Viciouscycleofisolationanddepression• Createsdespondencyanddespair• EventuallycausesyoutodoubtAllah• Youstartthinkingwhat’sthepoint• Canleadtolackofwantingtodoanythingforyourself–includingprayeranddua!

Shaytaan LOVES A Sad Believer!

#1:ChangeYourStory,ChangeYourView!

•Meanings•Failures•EmpowermentVsDisempowerment•Silenceyourinnercritic•Changeyourwords•Howyouspeaktoyourselfmatters

#1: Change Your Story, Change Your View!

•Catchyourself•WritedownhowyouWANTtoseeyourself•Starttellingyourselfthat•Buildthehabit– 21days

#1: Change Your Story, Change Your View!

#2:Acceptance+Action

•You’llNEVERfeellikeit!•Acceptwhatyoucan’tcontrol+changewhatyoucan!Ifyouhaveaproblemthatcanbefixedbytakinganaction...Youdon’tactuallyhavea

problem!

#2: Acceptance + Action

•Forgiveothers•Forgiveyourself

“Andwhoeverdoesawrongorwrongshimself,butthenseeksforgivenessfromAllah,hewillfindAllahforgivingandmerciful.” (4:110)

#2: Acceptance + Action

•ConfidenceCompetencyLoop• Bike,swim,martialarts,drive

•Dothethingthatscaresyoumost•Procrastinationisacopingmechanismforstress•Eatthatelephant!•Keepitsimple!•5minuterule=80%completion•Understandyourtriggers

#2: Acceptance + Action

#2: Acceptance + Action

Rejection

Hurt

Avoidmeetingpeople

Depression&

Negativity

Meetsomeone

• Self-feeding• Re-enforcesnegative

thoughts• Killsconfidence• CreatesSelf-doubt• Viciouscycle• Victimthinking

#2: Acceptance + Action

Rejection

Hurt

Meetingpeople

Excitedforthefuture!

Meetsomeone

• Re-wireyourbrain!• It’sanumbersgame• Turnitintoagame• 21daysminimum• Confidenceand

competencyisbuilt!

•Action:•Writedownallofyourtriggersandhowyoureact• Replacethenegativebehaviourwithsomethingpositive• E.g.Fearmakesyouahermit...Getoutinstead!• Committosmallactionsconsistently– juststart!

#2: Acceptance + Action

#3– IfIsFromTheShaytaan!

• Lowconfidenceisperpetuatedbyfear– whatif• Remember!ShaytaanLOVESasadbeliever• Youcan’tchoosehowyoufeel...butyoucanchoosehowyoubehave!• Planforeventualities• Insteadof‘Whatif’,think‘Ifthen’• Whatifhedoesn’tlikeme?• IfhethinksI’mnotagoodfitforhim,thenIwillmakeduaforhimandmoveon• FocusonwhatyouCANcontrolratherthanwhatyouCAN’T• Writedownallofthefearsyouhaveandturnthemintopositives

#3: If Is From The Shaytaan

• FuturePaceYourIF’s:• Ifyoucontinueasyouare...whatwillhappen?• Wherewillyoube?• Ifyouchangeyourselfwhatwillhappen?• Wherewillyoube?• Focusonsuccessandfailureandwritethemout!

• Useremindersonyourwall,postitnotesetc•WillpowervsWhyPower• RemindyourselfWHYyouwantthingstochange• Focus+Action+Consistency+Dua+Tawakkul =Success

#3: If Is From The Shaytaan

#4:UseFaithToPropelYouForward

• Remember!ThedefinitionofConfidenceis:

Thefeelingorbeliefthatonecanhavefaithinorrelyonsomeoneorsomething...

• Therefore,placeyourrelianceandtrustinAllah!• AllahhasgivenyouEVERYTHINGyouneedtobecomplete• FocusonwhatAllahhasgivenyouratherthanwhatyoudon’thave• BlessingsVsWisdom

#4: Use Faith To Propel You Forward!

"It'snothappinessthatmakesusgrateful;it'sgratefulnessthatmakesushappy.”

•Actionpoints:• Keepagratitudejournal• 3thingsdailyyouaregratefulfor• Whencalamitystrikes,lookforthelessonandtheblessing• Whenthingsdon’tworkoutwithsomeone,thinkAllahsavedmefromthatwhichIdon’tknow

#4: Use Faith To Propel You Forward!

•UsethetoolsAllahhasgivenyouforsuccess–the4pointmethod:• Istishara– Checkingaperson’sbackground&consultfamily• Istikhara– ConsultwithAllah!• Azzam– Determinationtoproceedandtakeaction• Tawakkul– PutyourtrustinAllahanddothingstherightway!

#4: Use Faith To Propel You Forward!

•Dua•Tahajjud•Quran• Istighfar•Sadaqa• Last2versesofSurahBaqrah•Morningandeveningduas•Ruqya

#4: Use Faith To Propel You Forward!

•DuaofMusaAS:MyLord!Expandformebybreast(with

assurance).Andeaseformemytask.Anduntietheknotfrommytongue.Thattheymay

understandmyspeech.’[Qur’an:Chapter20,Verses25-28]

#4: Use Faith To Propel You Forward!

#5:PushYourselfMoreThanAnyoneElseWill!

•Feedyourbrain!•Sports– especiallymartialarts/teamsports•Newhobby•Challengeyourselfspiritually•Getoutofthehouse•Volunteeryourtime

#5: Push Yourself More Than Anyone Else Will!

#6:PutYourBestFootForward!

• Loveyourself•Respect•Eathealthy•Exercise• Loseweight•Dresswell•Talktoyourselfkindly•Counselling

#6: Put Your Best Foot Forward!

#7:CreateA90DayGamePlan!

• 90daysisMOREthanenoughtimetomakeasignificantdifferencetoyourself• Committogoals:

• Loseweight• Trysomethingnew• Takecareofyourself• ImproveyourrelationshipwithAllah• Whowillyouconnectwithandwhere?

• MakeyourgoalsSPECIFICandMEASURABLEwithaTIMEFRAMEandWRITEthemdown• Before/Afterstate

#7: Create A 90 Day Game Plan!

•Castawidenettomaximiseyourchancesofsuccess• Perfectyourprofile• Handitouttoyourfamilyandfriends• Gotoyoursocialnetworks• Signuptomarriageevents• SignuptoPureMatrimony

• Sticktoyourgameplan!• Makeduaateachpoint

#7: Create A 90 Day Game Plan!

Conclusion&NextSteps

• 7waysyoucanimproveyourconfidence• Confidencecompetencyloop• BasedonACTIONandSELFREFLECTION• Createagameplanforsuccess• Loveyourselfandpushyourselfmorethananyoneelsewill• Focus+Action+Consistency+Dua+Tawakkul=Success• It’snottheendoftheworld– Allahwantsbetterforyou!• Maximiseyourchancesofsuccess• Castawidenet

Conclusion & Next Steps

• SignuptoPureMatrimony!• Specialofferforattendeesonthiswebinar:

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• PerfectProfileworth$97• PrepareforMarriageToolkit• MarriagesAreMadeinHeavenworth$27• Expires10th March2018• We’veNEVERdonethisbefore!

Conclusion & Next Steps

Q&A

arfa@purematrimony.com

QuestionswillbeansweredviaFacebooklive!