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May 21, 2011Vol 2, Issue 8

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"YOUR FAMILY'S SOURCE FOR FUN, NEWS, FACTS & EVENTS"

ANCIENT CITY POSTPUBLISHED BI-WEEKLY

French a Constant Threat to Early SpanishPedro Menendez' difficulties with the French did

not begin or end with his capture of their Fort Carolineand massacre of surviving soldiers in September, 1565.

Two years after that Spanish victory, a Frenchnobleman took revenge by retaking the seized fort. Buteven before the Spanish admiral arrived to found St.Augustine September 8, 1565, the French were a con-stant threat.

Father Francisco Lopez, principal priest with PedroMenendez de Avilés on his voyage to Florida June 28 -August 28, 1565, recounted in his memoir the captureof a Spanish caravel which carried "a great manysealed dispatches concerning arrangements to be made,and a great many valuable objects.

"The enemy boarded her, possessed themselves ofall her papers, read the plans for the conquest ofFlorida, took off all the other things they saw fit totake, and then told the ship's company to go as fast asthey could to St. Domingo to notify their countrymen.

"This fact, joined to the reflection that our fleetwas much injured by the storm, and that of the ten ves-sels which left Cadiz only four remained, all this made

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it evident to our captain-general, a man of arms, thatthe French would likely be waiting for him near theharbors a little farther on, and precisely on our route toFlorida.

"The general decided to take a northerly course, andpursue a new route, through the Bahama Channel,leaving the enemy to the windward.

"Following this dangerous navigation, the Lordpermitted the admiral to arrive safely in port onSunday, the 20th of August. We saw two islands,called the Bahama Islands. The shoals which liebetween them are so extensive that the billows are feltfar out at sea.

"The ship purchased at Porto Rico got aground thatday in two and a half fathoms of water. Our galley, oneof the best ships afloat, found herself all day in thesame position, when suddenly her keel struck threetimes violently against the bottom.

"The sailors gave themselves up for lost, but, as wehad a mission to fulfill for Jesus Christ and His blessedmother, two heavy waves, which struck her abaft, sether afloat again, and soon after we found her in deepwater. At midnight we entered the Bahama Channel."

Historic St. Augustine highlights are featured inThe St. Augustine Report, a free weekly e-newsletter on currentcity affairs by former Mayor George Gardner. To subscribe to theReport, or to order his St. Augustine Bedtime Stories on famous

people and events in St. Augustine's history, [email protected].

In the Band I was in the band at Ellsworth Air Force Base,

South Dakota. Our group was required to play for allgenerals who arrived on our base.

One morning, when our commanding officer heardon the radio that a General Frost was expected justafter noon, he sent us scrambling to the flight line withinstruments.

One of the musicians had also heard the radioannouncement. He took the C.O. aside for a whisperedconference. When they returned, the officer told us theperformance was canceled. There was no arriving gen-eral.

We had almost played for the weather forecast.

When you advertise, your ad also appears on-line at www.AncientCityPost.com

ANCIENT CITY POST"YOUR FAMILY'S SOURCE FOR FUN, NEWS, FACTS & EVENTS"

(Information gathered herein is from sources considered reliable. Accuracyhowever cannot be guaranteed. All humorous stories and jokes appearing here

are intended for entertainment purposes only and are not meant to disrespect orharm any group or individuals. Ads appearing in this paper are not to be

considered as an endorsement or validation by Ancient City Post for productsor services offered. No advertiser is guaranteed exclusivity.)

Ancient City PostJerry Kollar, Publisher

62 Hypolita • St. Augustine, FL 32084(904) 347-2391 • [email protected]

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Calendar of EventsA Classic Theatre presents

"THE DAY THEY SHOT JOHNLENNON"

Gamache-Koger Theater50 Sevilla Street, Historic St. Augustine.

The long-awaited production of "The Day They ShotJohn Lennon" by James McLure. Playwright McLure hascreated a colorful, highly imaginative collection of charac-ters as he constructs the emotional reactions of randomlychosen groups of people who feel compelled to gather atthe place where John Lennon was murdered.Thur, Fri and Sat, May 19th, 20th, 21st and 26th, 27th, 28th7:30pm Cost: $20/$18 Sen/$10 [email protected] 904-829-5807

Riding Into HistoryMotorcycle Concours D'elegance

World Golf Village, I95 Exit 323, St. AugustineFor the 12th straight year, Riding Into History, one of

America's premier motorcycle events, will return to theWorld Golf Village. On Friday May 20, at 10 a.m. therewill be a Grand Marshall Historic Ride lead by NationalChampion Racer and Motorcycle Hall of Famer, KevinScwantz. That evening the Grand Marshal Dinner is at 6:30pm at The Legends Grill at the World Golf Village. Then onSaturday the gates to the Concours d'Elegance open at 10a.m. The event will feature classic American motorcyclesshow featuring hundreds of motorcycles along the Village'sWalk of Champions, vendors, exhibitors and entertainment.Fri, May 20th,10 am & 6:30pmSat, May 21st, 10am-4pm Cost: $15-Rider/$5 Passwww.ridingintohistory.org 904-677-9670

Arti Gras at the Cultural Centerat Ponte Vedra Beach!

50 Executive Way, Ponte Vedra BeachEnjoy unique entertainment including an illusionist,

palm readers, caricaturist, and unique moving sculpturesperformed by Ponte Vedra Ballet. View art exhibits andmask centerpieces made by art students and instructors.Sat, May 21st, 7pm Cost: $75/$100 Non-Memberswww.ccpvb.org 904.280.0614x205

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working themoment you get up in the morning and does not stopuntil you get into the office. - Robert Frost

Music By The Sea Concert SeriesSt. Augustine beach Pavillion

A1A Beach Blvd, St. Augustine BeachBring your chair and enjoy a live musical performance

by Amy Alysia & the Soul Operation, a R/B Motown Bandat the beach. The concert features dinner from SeaFoodKitchen, and are available for under $10.Wed, May. 25th, 7pm-9pm Cost: Freewww.staugbchcivicassoc.com 904.347.8007

2nd Annual Environmental EducationalFair & Kids Ocean Day -

Marineland BeachTwo days of fun and education with workshops, activi-

ties, exhibits, vendors, andentertainment Food available on-site for a nominal charge.

Book Signing - Environmental authors 5 p.m. to 6 p.m.and 7 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. Fri, May 20th, 9:30 am-1:30 pm, Sat May 21st, 10am-3pm Cost: Freewww.scenica1a.org

Los Presidiales De San AgustínAt Fort Mose15 Fort Mose Trail

Members of Los Presidiales de San Agustín present18th-century, historical interpretation from 10AM to 2PM atFort Mose Historic State ParkSat May 28, 10am to 2pmhttp://www.floridastateparks.org/fortmose

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Please say you saw it in the Ancient City Post


Florida Cracker CafeFlorida Cracker Cafe

$5.00 OFFGood for Dinner only

Must present coupon when ordering.Any purchase $25 or more. Limit 1 coupon per party.

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1/2 OFF ANY ENTREEOf equal or lesser value with the purchase of any regular price entree

and two drinks. Offer Excludes $2.99 Breakfast & $4.99 Lunch SpecialsExpires 6/30/2011

Calendar of Events

St. Augustine Air ShowNortheast Florida Regional Airport

US 1 North St. AugustineThe event will honor our military with a special "Salute

to Veterans," past and present, and will feature performanc-es by world-renowned aerobatic pilots as well as many out-standing military exhibits and static displays. Watch thespectacular daredevil feats of wing-walker, Teresa Stokes;the elegant aerobatics of Gene Soucy in the ShowCat bi-plane; new two-ship aerobatic formation jet air show -Team MS760 Aerobatics; the only all women skydivingdemonstration team in world, The Misty Blues and manyother exciting land and air performers.Sat, May 28th – Sun, May 29th Cost: $10/day & $5

Kids 5+ for adults and $5www.staugustineairshow.net

Uptown Saturday NightSan Marco Ave between Ripley's Believe It or Not

and Mission of Nombre de Dios Uptown SanMarco Shopping District, St. Augustine host artists,

book signings, live music, refreshments and other eventscontribute to the party-like atmosphere.Sat, May 28th, 5pm to 9pm Cost: Free

904.823.9263

Memorial Day Summer ConcertsIn The Plaza

Plaza de la ConstitucionThis exciting performance by the St. Augustine Jazz

Society takes place in St. Augustine's historic Plaza de laConstitucion. Get comfortable by bringing a lawn chair orblanket.Mon, May 30th, 1pm-5pm Cost: Freewww.plazaconcerts.com 904.825.1004

Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

$4.99LUNCHSPECIAL

Three Old MenThree elderly gentlemen were talking about what

their grandchildren would be saying about themfifty years from now. 'I would like my grandchil-dren to say, 'He was successful in business' ,declared the first man.

'Fifty years from now, 'said the second, 'I wantthem to say, 'He was a loyal family man' .

Turning to the third gent, the first gent asked,'So what do you want them to say about you in fiftyyears?' 'Me?' the third man replied. 'I want themall to say, 'He certainly looks good for his age!'

Great Cheese A customer in the Italian restaurant was so

pleased with his meal that he asked to speak to thechef. The owner proudly led him into the kitchenand introduced him to the chef.

"Your veal parmigiana was superb," the cus-tomer said. "I just spent a month in Italy, and yoursis better than any I ever had over there."

"Naturally," the chef said. "Over there, they usedomestic cheese. Ours is imported!"

Math Class The test I gave my

math class covered every-thing we'd studied all year-- fractions, percentagesand portions of wholeunits.

But maybe I couldhave explained things bet-ter. To the question "Whatportion of a foot is sixinches?"

One student answered,"The toes?"

Why didn't Noah swatthose two mosquitoes?



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Only $1699

1 Large/1 Topping & Order of Wings

Music By The Sea Concert SeriesSt. Augustine Beach Pavillion


by Funk Shui, Classic R&R Band at the beach. The concertfeatures dinner from Barnacle Bill's, and are available forunder $10.Wed, Jun 1st, 7pm-9pm Cost: Freewww.staugbchcivicassoc.com 904.347.8007

Concerts In The PlazaPlaza de la Constitucion

This exciting performance by the St. Augustine Mid-LifeCrisis takes place in St. Augustine's historic Plaza de laConstitucion. Get comfortable by bringing a lawn chair orblanket.Thur, Jun 2nd, 7pm Cost: Freewww.plazaconcerts.com 904.825.1004

Art Galleries of St Augustine presents First Friday Artwalk

Self-guided walking tour of numerous art galleries,FREE Artwalk Tour Trains!Fri, Jun 3rd, 5pm to 9pm Cost: Freewww.artgalleriesofstaugustine.com 904.829.0065

Anastasia State Park's19th Annual Beach Bash

Anastasia State ParkScavenger hunt, sandcastle/sculpture contest. Ranger

interpretive programs and Bird Walks. Prizes will be award-ed! $2 for pedestrians and bicyclistsSat, Jun 4th, 9am-3pm Cost: $8 per vehicle

for up to 8 peoplewww.floridastateparks.org/anastasia 904.461.2035

Drake's RaidDowntown St. Augustine

Relive history as the English corsair, Sir Francis Drake,and his raiders return to St. Augustine in an authentic re-creation of the 1586 sack of the city. Open to the public, theraiders' camp at the Fountain of Youth Park features dis-plays of the arms and armor, craft skills, and lifestyles ofthe period explained by costumed interpreters. In the lateafternoon, Drake and his followers will descend on thecity's historic district. Early evening will witness theEnglish attack on the town, the Spanish residents' defense,with pike and musket skirmishes, and the simulated destruc-tion of the town by the invaders.Sat, Jun 4th, 10am-4pm / 7pm

Cost: Park Admission/Freewww.historicfloridamilitia.org/

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, anddishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Albert's Leaving PresentationToday we would like to thank Albert for his service

to our company. Albert is someone who does not knowthe meaning of impossible task, who does not knowthe meaning of lunch break, who does not understandthe meaning of the word no. So we have clubbedtogether and bought Albert a dictionary.

When they discover the center of the universe, a lotof people will be disappointed to discover they are notit. Bernard Bailey



Kids Eat Free Every Day 4pm-10pm

Expires 6/30/2011•Coupon Required Expires 6/30/2011•Coupon Required

St. Augustine K

ids

Upcoming Kids Events(for more info see the Calendar of Events throughout the paper)

Fri, May 20 & Sat, May 21 - Environmental EducationalFair & Kids Ocean Day - Marineland Beach

Sat, Jun 4 - Anasatasia State Park's 19th Annual Beach Bash- Anastasia Park

Do you have an event, a product or a service tar-geted toward kids and their parents?

If so, call the Ancient City Post at 904-347-2391or e-mail to [email protected]

Mothers Know AllI was out walking with my then 4 year old daugh-

ter. She picked up something off the ground and start-ed to put it in her mouth. I asked her not to do that.

"Why?""Because it's been laying outside and is dirty and

probably has germs."At this point, she looked at me with total admira-

tion and asked, "Wow! How do you know all thisstuff?"

"Uh," I was thinking quickly, everyone knows thisstuff, but I said, "Um, it's on the mommy test. Youhave to know it, or they don't let you be a mommy."

"Oh."We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but

she was evidently pondering this new information."I get it!" she beamed. "Then if you flunk, you

have to be the daddy, right?"

A Favorite Retirement JokeA woman came home to find her retired husband

waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. Wife: 'What are you doing dear?' Husband: 'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2

females'Wife: 'How do you know which gender they were?' Husband: 'Easy - 3 were on the beer, and the other

2 were on the phone'

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said,'There's water in the carburettor'. I said, 'Where's thecar?' She said, 'In the lake'. (Henny Youngman)

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Mom's Fish I took my mother on a fishing excursion yesterday.

Nobody was catching anything. After drifting forhours without so much as a nibble, who should hookinto one but my Mom.

Everyone on the boat was excited, cheering the oldwoman on and telling her to take her time.

Finally she lifted the fish into the boat, picked itup, removed the hook, looked at it up and down, andthen tossed it back into the water.

I was stunned. I said, "Mom, why did you throwthat fish back into the water?"

"I don't know. To me it just didn't look fresh."

I think men who have a pierced ear are better pre-pared for marriage. They've experienced pain andbought jewelery. (Rita Rudner)

Priceless Antique?Claire, after retiring

from a busy life in business,travels around the countryvisiting antique shops tryingto find bargains.

One day she goes to anantique shop in Stratfordupon Avon, England. Here,Claire speaks to Victoria,the shop's owner, 'When Iwas in here last week I sawa big mug with a flat headthat holds a lot of beer. I'dlike to buy it.'

'Sorry,' replied Victoria,'but I can't possibly sell youthat.'

'Oh, what a pity, butwhy not?' inquired Claire.

'Because,' said theowner, 'that's my husband.'



Black Raven's Crew and Pirate LegendsIt is well known fact that there are many pirate leg-

ends and fictional stories about pirates and theirassumed rages over the seven seas and wherever theystormed ashore. We asked Black Raven's crew if theycould tell us something about the most talked aboutlegends. Here are a few of them:

1. Davy Jones's LockerDavy Jones' Locker is an idiom for the bottom of

the sea. In fact, it is asailor's nickname for thedevil of the sea and hislocker is the ocean bed.Someone who was "sentto Davy Jones's Locker"was someone who haddisappeared at sea. Theorigins of the name areunclear and many theo-ries have been put forth,including incompetentsailors, a pub owner whokidnapped sailors, or that Davy Jones is another namefor the devil—as in "Devil Jonah". This nautical super-stition was popularized in the 19th century.

2. The Flying DutchmanAccording to the pirate legend, the Flying

Dutchman is a ghost ship that can never return to shore

and is forced to sail the ocean for an eternity with itscrew of dead souls. It is said that if hailed by anothership, its crew will try to send messages to land or topeople long dead. In ocean lore, the sight of this phan-tom ship is a portent of doom.

3. The KrakenNo sea monster was more terrifying than the

Kraken. According to the legend, this multi-tentacledcreature could raise itself out of the water, attack aship and drag it under water, often splitting the vesselin two.

4. Mermaids and MermenMermaids had the head and torso of a women and

the tail of a fish. They were thought to sing to sailorsand lure them to their death, or squeeze the life out ofdrowning men while they were "rescuing" them. Themale equivalent, mermen, had beards, green hair, andtrident. They caused storms and attacked ships.

PirateShipBlackRaven.com877-578-5050 * 904-826-0000It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten.

They're in front of you in the supermarket expresslane. - June Henderson

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A Management PositionA crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.

A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can Ialso sit like you and do nothing all day long?"

The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbitsat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of asudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ateit.

Management Lesson -- To be sitting and doingnothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Visitor and new resident quickbusiness and services reference

For Emergencies Dial 911St. Augustine Police Department (904) 825-1074St. Augustine Beach Police Department (904) 471-3600St. Johns County Sheriff's Office (904) 824-8304St. Augustine Fire Department (904) 825-1098St. Augustine Historical Society (904) 824-2872

FreeWeekly email newslet-

ter about city affairsand our community

featuring complete City Commission agendas and reports,written by former two-term Mayor George Gardner, and

published by the St. Augustine Department of Public Affairs

subscribe: [email protected] 904-669-1348

REPORTLocal news in our Nation's Oldest City

THE ST AUGUSTINE

Searching for St. Augustine StoryThe University of Florida has some 12 colleges of

the university "engaged in the St. Augustine program,and a major focus is developing the St. AugustineStory," UF Vice President Ed Poppell says.

"Why visitors come here, what they're doing hereare questions we want to address for the visitor experi-ence," Poppell said during an annual status report tothe city since taking over management last July of 34state-owned historic properties here.

Under the state authorization, the universityreceives $650,000 annually to apply to more than $20million in estimated repair costs, but Poppell addedthat an additional $400,000 has been authorized thisyear to renovate the Government House museum andcreate a "First Colony" exhibit.

University and city staffs gather monthly, Poppellsaid, to review plans for the historic properties.

"In this first year," he said, "this partnership,these relationships, have been great."

Foot Soldiers Monument DedicatedA monument commemorating the Foot Soldiers of

St. Augustine's 1960s civil rights movement has beenestablished in the city's Plaza de la Constitución.

The $70,000 monument depicts four figures repre-senting the diversity of support for the movement,which led to passage of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

A citizen St. Augustine Foot Soldiers RemembranceProject labored for six years to raise the funds for themonument, a long-held vision of its president, a veter-an of the era, Barbara Vickers.

Five Centuries of Our CoastFrom 1502 to today's satellite imagery, a new St.

Augustine Historical Society exhibit traces FiveCenturies of Our Coast, documenting the city's historythrough maps staking territorial claims, telling stories,promoting tourism or aiding navigation.

"For 500 years, artists and mapmakers haverecorded the coast around St. Augustine," SocietyDirector Susan Parker says. "The site of St. Augustinehas, literally, been on the map from the earliest days ofEuropean exploration in the Americas.

"In fact, St. Augustine is the first U.S. city ever tobe mapped."

The exhibit is presented daily 9 - 4:30 in the PageEdwards Gallery at the Oldest House Complex.

From The St. Augustine Report, a free weeklye-newsletter prepared by former Mayor George Gardner.

To subscribe email [email protected].

You know that little indestructible black box that isused on planes? Why can't they make the whole

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Music By The Sea Concert SeriesSt. Augustine beach Pavillion


by Bush Doctors, Regae / R&R at the beach. The concertfeatures dinner from Amici's Italian estaurant, and are avail-able for under $10.Wed, Jun 8th, 7pm-9pm Cost: Freewww.staugbchcivicassoc.com 904.347.8007

2011 Fountain Mercury King Buster 400St. Augustine Municipal Marina

Premiere Southern Kingfish competition of the year -with over $175,000 in cash and prizes! The tournamentskicks off with a children's fishing outing from theSt.Augustine Municipal Marina. The King Buster is a 400 islimited to 400 boats. There are captains' meetings onThursday at 4p.m. and 8p.m. Fishing days are Friday andSaturday. There will be a party with live music Friday from5:30 to 9p.m. and prizes will be awarded Saturday evening.Thur, Jun 9th to Sun, Jun 12th Cost: $449.50www.kingbuster400.com

Concerts In The PlazaPlaza de la Constitucion

This exciting performance by the St. Augustine BigPineapple takes place in St. Augustine's historic Plaza de laConstitucion. Get comfortable by bringing a lawn chair orblanket.Thur, Jun 9th, 7pm Cost: Freewww.plazaconcerts.com 904.825.1004 904.992.9600

Why is the third hand on the watch calleda second hand?

Hot Fudge? I went into the Ice

Cream shop the other dayand asked for a hot fudgesundae with extra hotfudge.

The clerk behind thecounter replied, "Sorry.The hot fudge only comesin one temperature."

Why is the time of daywith the slowest traffic

called rush hour?

5-21-11.pdf

Documents

augustine report

augustine highlights

spanish admiral

bahama channel

bahama islands

augustine bedtime stories

spanish caravel

french didnot