40 reasons not to start up life on a burning platform - a tech entrepreneurs view. nick pelling,...
TRANSCRIPT
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40 Reasons Not To Start Up
Life on a burning platform
- a tech entrepreneur’s view.
Nick Pelling, Nanodome Ltd – [email protected]
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1. Statistically, startups are for losers.
(Startup failure rate: 80%+)
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2. Your business plan sucks.
(But everyone’s far too polite to say.)
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3. You’ll lose your own money.
(It’s nice having a shirt. You’ll miss it.)
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4. The world changes too fast.
(i.e. your opportunity will probably vanish.)
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5. UK angels won’t fund you.
(Not a serial entrepreneur? Oh dear.)
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6. UK banks won’t lend to you.
(Sub-£100K turnover? Oh dear.)
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7. UK VCs won’t fund you.
(Sub-£1m turnover? Oh dear.)
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8. There are no grants any more.
(You’re a decade too late for those, sorry!)
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9. Good ideas are worth nothing.
(Execution and sales are 50% each.)
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10. Nobody at all believes in you.
(Not your partner, your children, your dog.)
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11. Is your startup worth a divorce?
(Because that’s exactly how bad it gets.)
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12. Web business advice is crap.
(Toxic, self-serving, superficial nonsense.)
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13. TechCrunch is full of PR lies.
(Does anyone believe a word of it?)
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14. Business schools know nothing.
(Will Peter Drucker help you start up? No.)
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15. Nothing prepares you for this.
(Entrepreneurship? 100% misery and pain.)
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16. Who’ll work for you?
(…given that you can’t pay them anything.)
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17. Who’ll supply your startup?
(…given that nobody believes in you.)
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18. Who’ll buy from you?
(No track record, no resources, nothing.)
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19. How long will your savings last?
(and is that a wall at the end of the runway?)
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20. Your graphs make me gag.
(Nobody believes graphs any more, sorry!)
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21. Your market research stinks.
(You found it in the library. So it’s true?)
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22. Decision-making is really hard.
(Is this the right font size? Errrmm…)
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23. Your vision is just a delusion.
(Mystic Meg won’t invest in you either.)
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24. Demos fail, and so will yours.
(Ground open up and swallow me, please.)
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25. Call an army of one a “team”?
(Are you Leonardo da Vinci? Sorry, no!)
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26. You prefer function to design.
(Hey, so guess which one actually sells?)
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27. You have no sales experience.
(All entrepreneurs actually do is sell things.)
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28. You’ve got a big company CV.
(Which will help you start up how, exactly?)
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28. You can buy tech in, right?
(So what you do is the really hard bit? No.)
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29. It worked for James Dyson.
(That’s far more nuanced than you think.)
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30. It worked for Alan Sugar.
(Is he really your role model? Lord help us!)
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31. The Coalition wants startups.
(Good job you’re here to save the day, eh?)
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32. You hate your day job.
(But you love paying your mortgage, right?)
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33. You’ve got something to prove.
(Try counselling, it’s quicker and easier.)
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34. You’re hungry and ambitious.
(Most entrepreneurs are just plain hungry.)
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35. The world needs your gadget.
(Oh, so you asked the world, did you?)
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36. You’ve read 100 good books.
(History as written by lottery winners.)
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37. You understand economics.
(Manitee husbandry is just about as useful.)
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38. You’ve got great tech skills.
(Shame about the rest, though.)
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39. You’ve got an MBA.
(So get a proper consultancy job, then.)
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40. You see things others don’t.
(Opportunities, or dead people? Or both?)
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Despite all that, there is still…
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…One Reason To Start Up
(…but you’re not going to like it)
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1. You absolutely have to.
The raging animal inside you won’t let go.
You come to realize: this is how it ends.
You will battle the consequences till you die.
Worse still, you know it isn’t a real reason.
But… you have no choice.
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(I said you wouldn’t like it)