3c&t 11-1-12
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By Ronnie Narmour
Three Chords and the Truth
Turkey bowling is finally here…As you probably know, it was the last weekend
of the season for the Back Porch in Port A. There was a lot of fanfare leading up to it. Captain Legendary played and they had a Halloween Costume Contest with Cruise Control, a Doggie Costume Contest and a Pajama Party with Jerry Diaz and Hanna’s Reef… yeah, yeah. All good stuff but really it was all just foreplay leading up to the main event: TURKEY BOWLING!!! We do it every year on the last day of the season. This was the sixth annual and I was determined to win it this year. Ask anyone. When the subject of turkey bowling came up, the first thing out of my mouth was, “I’m gonna win it this year.” This was mostly received with “yeah, sure, whatever” looks and the general consensus that I really do need a hobby (which is true.)
Put the ball in the hole…In past years, I never even came close to
winning. And it’s not like the concept is all that challenging. You hurl a 15 pound frozen turkey at ten bowling pins from 30 feet away. I’ve played plenty of pool using an onion for an 8 ball and understand the theory of introducing a somewhat spherical organic product into the world of an otherwise inanimate object. Get a grip. All you do is just roll that baby down there and knock those suckers down. What’s the big deal? Well, the big deal is that launching a frozen turkey with precision is about a manageable as my ex-girlfriends… who never did what I wanted them to either. Shocker!
You just never know…So, on the big day I focused. Kept my breakfast
light and watched the caffeine intake. There’s nothing worse than an unfocused jittery frozen turkey hurler on game day. Someone could get hurt. I was still reeling from the excitement of winning 5th place in the Halloween Costume Contest as a vampire chicken, the night before, which won me a very nice lava lamp. BTW. the bright yellow fluffy chicken costume that I wore once belonged to the Island Moon founder, Mike Ellis, who, when asked why he bought it replied, “You just never know.” Thanks Mike! I’ll think of you every time I look at my cool lava lamp.
Put up or shut up…When I got to the Porch and tried to sign up I
was met with some opposition. The bar always donates the money generated by this fun event to the local Animal Shelter… we usually pass the hat. Well, this year an ambitious volunteer decided to make the $5 donation mandatory and
all I had on me was my debit card. She held her hand out and told me, “PAY ME NOW OR YOU DON’T BOWL NO TURKEY” (or words to that effect.) What a quandary. I was right in the middle of the pack on the sign up sheet, where I wanted to be and she didn’t take checks. But, my pal Susan Powell showed up and came to my rescue. Perfect! I was number 41 on a list that would grow to 78. Eventually the crowd grew to standing room only. You could cut the tension in the room with a knife. I noticed side wagering in the back room. There wasn’t a soul there that didn’t want the coveted title of “King of the Turkey Bowlers 2012.” I kept telling myself, “focus, focus, focus.”
T-Joe where are you…As we neared the time to start, another problem
arose. T-Joe was sick. He and Wylie the Kid always manned the pit and kept the bowling pins turning. This is a big part of the process and one of our key players was absent. We still had Mayor Keith manning the microphone and Manager Amy as scorekeeper… but no T-Joe.
So, you guessed it. I drew the short straw and got the dubious duty of “human pin setter.” I’m here to tell you, after about four hours of chasing down bowling pins and dodging projectile turkeys… the glamour wears off. Thank God for young Wylie or I’d probably be in traction right now.
Legal bragging rights…Well, Mayor Keith got us through the first
78 contestants in round one and the next 25 contestants in round two and so on until it was just me and two other guys and the kid gloves came off. By then, I was so in the zone that a UFO could have landed on my head and I wouldn’t have noticed. It finally came down to the last turkey and two pins and, by the grace of the turkey gods, I WON! Now, the only thing you win as “King of the Turkey Bowlers 2012” is bragging rights. I’ve never actually been given the legal right to brag before. Bragging is at best, annoying and I generally try to avoid the practice. BUT, since I actually own the “Bragging Rights” to this deal I think I’ll give it a try… here goes.
I am the champion of the world…That’s right. I’m bad. I beat all you 78 turkey
bowling wannabees. I’ve never heard of another turkey bowling competition, so that makes me the “Turkey Bowling King of the World.” When it comes to bowling turkeys, I am the greatest turkey bowler in the history of turkey bowlers. Yea me!
Or not…That was gross and I apologize. Maybe, they
can just give me a trophy and we’ll call it even. Pretend I never said that. I don’t think I’m cracked up to be a bragger.
Music from the Moon…Moving on…we are still collecting songs for
our compilation CD from Coastal Bend artists. Send me your original songs or show up at the Sunday jam at the Tarpon Ice House and I’ll make a quick video. We are gathering quite a collection of material right now, so get us your song as soon as possible. Time is running out! My email address is at the top of this page.
DO NOT MISS LIST
There’s a ton music coming up. Take a deep breath… here we go. The Gaff, everyone’s favorite pirate bar, will host their 4th Annual Reggae Festival on Saturday the 3rd, with The Raspas, The Bad Chords and Flatbroke. Also on the 3rd, the Third Coast Theater will have two of the finest singer-songwriters on the circuit today, Michael Hearne (Taos, NM) and Shake Russell (Houston, TX). Michael is the nephew of the great team of Bill and Bonnie Hearne (San Antonio, TX) and hosts a fabulous festival in Taos each September, called Michael Hearne’s Barn Dance. This year’s event featured Bob Livingston, The Trishas, Walt Wilkins, Chuck Pyle, Radney Foster and others. Shake Russell has written and co-written hundreds of songs which have been recorded by the likes of Waylon Jennings, Jessi Colter, Ricky Skaggs, Clint Black and Carolyn Dawn Johnson. I was fortunate to have seen Shake play with Dana Cooper many, many times back in the late 70’s at Steamboat
Springs in Austin. On November 8th the great Americana -rockin’ soul act, Uncle Lucius (Austin, TX) will play Brewster Street with the Dirty River Boys and the Wheeler Brothers. On Saturday, the 10th, the Third Coast Theater will have another great singer-songwriter bill with the great Bruce Robison (Austin, TX) and Brian Keane (Nashville, TN). More on that next time. On the 16th, the House of Rock will bring back The Wailers… as in Bob Marley’s band from Jamaica. I saw this show a couple of years ago and it is definitely a DO NOT MISS. Also, on November 30th, the House of Rock will bring in a pioneer of rock-a-billy, Wanda Jackson on a bill with Folk Family Revival (Houston, TX). I saw the young Folk Family Revival a few months ago and was blown away. Miss Jackson was scheduled at the HoR earlier in the year but cancelled due to illness. I really look forward to this show. Down the road in December, there are a couple of shows I want to mention, Ray Wylie Hubbard (Wimberley, TX will play Third Coast on the 1st and (drum roll please…) Los Lonely Boys (Austin, TX) and Alejandro Escovedo (Wimberley, TX) will play Brewster on the 13th.
And that’s the truth!
Monday Night Football
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Live Music
Thursday, November 1Randy Rogers/ Ryan Beaver (acoustic) @ Brewster StreetAntone & the All Stars @ Dr. RockitsJohn Eric @ Island ItalianValient Thorr/ Bertha/ Cavegirl/ Switchblade Jesus @ House of Rock
Friday, November 2The Spazmatics @ Brewster Street Cruise Control @ Executive Surf Club ArtWalk & Dia de los Muertos Festival @ House of RockJohn Cortez @ Dr. RockitsBrian Winfrey @ Island ItalianGary Moeller @ Coffee WavesRay T & the City Crew @ The Flats LoungeMike Williams & Rocky Arnold @ Hemingway’s RockportPenny Arcade/ The Johnny 5/ Dead Passenger @ The Texan
Saturday, November 34th Annual Reggae Fest (Raspas/Bad Chords/Flat Broke @ The GaffJohn Eric Band @ Brewster Street Michael Hearne/ Shake Russell @ Third Coast TheaterNick Gaitan & the Umbrella Man @ Executive Surf Club Another Level @ Dr. RockitsEarl Gard @ Coffee Waves Kayla French @ Scuttlebutt’sRuben Limas@ Island ItalianMike Williams & Rocky Arnold @ Hemingway’s RockportCathouse @ The Texan
Sunday, November 4Open Mic w/ Billy Snipes & Uel Jackson @ Tarpon Ice HouseExpendables/ Iration/ Cisco Adler @ House of Rock Weak Day Boys @ Dr. RockitsAcoustic Open Mic @ Neptune’s RetreatJohn Eric @ South Texas Ice House
Monday, November 5Collin Roche @ House of Rock Emily Dale @ Scuttlebutt’s Open Jam w/ Antone Perez @ Doctor Rockits
Tuesday, November 6Rich O’Toole/ Brian Burke Band @ Brewster
Street Open Mic w/ Rev Matt Martinez @ House of Rock
Steven James & Shakedown @ Dr.
RockitsJohn Eric@ Scuttlebutt’s
Wednesday, November 7Open Mic w/ Wolfjaw @
Flat’s Lounge III Egos @ Dr. Rockits
Thursday, November 8Dirty River Boys/
Wheeler Brothers/ Uncle Lucius @ Brewster Street
Cathouse @ Executive Surf Club
JBoog/ Hot Rain/ Dead Passenger @ House of Rock
John Eric @ Island ItalianMike Guerra & Trisum @
Scuttlebutt’s Antone & the All Stars @
Dr. Rockits
Friday, November 9Second Friday Sing-
Along Piano Show @ Brewster Street
Bushbullit @ Executive Surf Club
Shakedown/ Leopold & His Fiction/ Keeton Coffman @ House of
RockReno & the
Groovegetters @ Dr. Rockits The Forefront @ Coffee Waves Brian Winfrey @ Island Italian
Ray T & the City Crew @ The Flats Lounge
Analog Man @ The Texan
Mike Williams & Rocky Arnold @ Hemingway’s
Rockport
Saturday, November 10The All American Rejects
with Cherri Bomb and The Lost Element @
Brewster StreetSmileFest/ Spoonfed
Tribe/ Bad Chords/ Flatbroke/ High Bred Roots @ House of Rock
Ruben Limas@ Island ItalianChris Gober @ Coffee Waves
Bruce Robison/ Brian Keane @ Third Coast Theater
Poison Lemonade @ The Texan
Wesley Pruit Band @ Dr. Rockits
Mike Williams & Rocky Arnold @ Hemingway’s
Rockport
Sunday, November 11Open Mic w/ Billy Snipes & Uel Jackson @ Tarpon
Ice HouseBallabajoomba Poetry
Slam @ House of RockAcoustic Open Mic @ Neptune’s Retreat
John Eric @ South Texas Ice HouseParty of Three @ Dr. Rockits
Tonight
Live Music Every Friday
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Sun Noon- 2am
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Third Annual Padre Island Art
Walk FestivalSunday, Nov. 4
Noon til 4:00 pmBillish Park on Gypsy Street
This ad Sponsored by Miss K’s Catering and Bistro
Bruce Robison will play the Third Coast Studio on Nov. 10th.
Jerry Diaz and Hanna’s Reef played the Back Porch last Friday night.
Uncle Lucius will play Brewster Street on Nov. 8th.
Timmy and Jason congratulate Ronnie Narmour on winning this year’s coveted
Turkey Bowl.
“All You Can Eat” Shrimp
Just $12.95
Every Wednesday Night
Cruise Control played the Back Porch last Saturday night.