2013 paragraph structuring
TRANSCRIPT
Structuring a paragraph
CENTRE FOR TEACHING AND LEARNING LIBRARY 3RD FLOOR
09 441-8143 [email protected]
1. CTL online resources
2. How many paragraphs? How long?
3. Principles of effective paragraphs
4. Introductory paragraphs
5. Conclusion paragraphs
1. CTL ONLINE RESOURCES
http://tinyurl.com/6xy9hy podcast (can also be accessed through OWLL)
http://tinyurl.com/slcvideos video presentations (can also be accessed through OWLL)
http://tinyurl.com/albanyctl Centre for Teaching and Learning, Albany
http://owll.massey.ac.nz online writing and learning link
Handouts: http://tinyurl.com/albanyhandouts
2. HOW MANY PARAGRAPHS
Typical essays will consist of 8 – 14 paragraphs (1200 – 2000 words)
ONE introductory paragraph
ONE concluding paragraph
Between SIX and TWELVE body paragraphs
Handouts: http://tinyurl.com/albanyhandouts
2. PARAGRAPH PLANNING GUIDE
500 words: 3 – 5 paragraphs
800 words: 5 – 6 paragraphs
1000 words: 6 – 8 paragraphs
1500 words: 8 – 10 paragraphs
1800 words: 9 – 12 paragraphs
2000 words: 10 – 14 paragraphs
2500 words: 12 – 16 paragraphs
Handouts: http://tinyurl.com/albanyhandouts
2. SAMPLE PARAGRAPH PLAN
2 & 3: future housing needs & plans
4 & 5: future economic needs & plans
6 & 7: future transport needs & plans
1: intro
8: conclusion
Discuss how Auckland is planning for growth. (1200 words)
Handouts: http://tinyurl.com/albanyhandouts
2. PARAGRAPH LENGTH
No fixed length, but at undergraduate level between 100 and 200 words (4 – 8 sentences) is typical.
Shorter than four sentences? It could be ok, but have another look in case you haven’t fully supported your claim.
Over 8 sentences? It could be ok, but have another look in case some of the details are unnecessary or it would be better split: two well-focused paragraphs are better than one fuzzy one.
Handouts: http://tinyurl.com/albanyhandouts
3. EXAMPLE PARAGRAPH
- GOOD OR BAD?The political challenge of becoming a republic needs to be considered. Firstly, Australians voted by 55% to 45% against becoming a republic in the national referendum held on November 6th 1999, with only the State of Victoria giving a narrow majority in favour of the change (Campbell, 1999) and New Zealanders are more attached to the Monarchy than Australians (Singh, 2010). Secondly, like New Zealand, Canada etc, Australia continues to be governed according to the authority of the ‘Crown’ as the executive branch of Government, an authority inherited from the colonial power, Britain (Radley & Foreman, 2003). In New Zealand, the current Governor General is Sir Jerry Mataparae (New Zealand Government, n.d.). Thirdly, Brown (2003) points out that Republicanism has traditionally replaced ‘top-down’ authority with a concept of a generalised power of the people and that diversity and biculturalism are ignored. However, in New Zealand, the Treaty Principles uphold partnership, protection and participation (Massey University, 2009). Therefore, it is even harder for New Zealand to abolish the Monarchy than it was for Australia, where indigenous rights and biculturalism have been less prominent. The Australian Premier, Julia Gillard, has said the issue is no longer even on the agenda (Behan, 2011).
3. PRINCIPLES OF EFFECTIVE PARAGRAPHS
By the end of this presentation, you should have a clear understanding of the problems which make this original ‘Republic’ paragraph
confusing and hard to read …
… and of the principles which make the improved ‘Republic’ paragraph (which you will read in full later) more readable and
convincing.
3. PRINCIPLES OF EFFECTIVE PARAGRAPHS
UnityThe paragraph should focus on ONE claim about ONE topic
CoherenceEach sentence in the paragraph should build logically on the one before
Development
The paragraph’s claim must be supported with relevant evidence
3. TOPIC SENTENCE
Paragraph UNITY is made stronger by including a TOPIC SENTENCE:
makes a clear and concise claim
usually the first or second sentence
this claim ‘controls’ the rest of the paragraph – nothing should be included in the paragraph which doesn’t support or develop the claim made in the topic sentence
3. TOPIC SENTENCE EXAMPLE
Can you identify the topic sentence in this paragraph?
Hurricanes, also known as cyclones or typhoons, exert tremendous power. These storms are often a hundred kilometres in diameter, and their winds can reach velocities well in excess of 120 kph (Snowdon, 2006). With such wind velocities, typically accompanied by heavy rain, hurricanes have the potential to completely destroy a small town in a matter of hours (Jameson, 1987). So great, in fact, is the energy released by a single hurricane that it has been estimated to exceed the total energy consumed by mankind throughout the world in one year (Fowles, 2001).
3. COMPONENTS OF A TOPIC SENTENCE
TOPIC CLAIM+
Hurricanes, also known as cyclones or typhoons, exert tremendous power. These storms are often a hundred kilometres in diameter, and their winds can reach velocities well in excess of 120 kph (Snowdon, 2006). With such wind velocities, typically accompanied by heavy rain, hurricanes have the potential to completely destroy a small town in a matter of hours (Jameson, 1987). So great, in fact, is the energy released by a single hurricane that it has been estimated to exceed the total energy consumed by mankind throughout the world in one year (Fowles, 2001).
3. TYPES OF TOPIC SENTENCE
A claim is basically an answer to a question:
WHO?
WHAT?
WHERE?
WHEN?
WHY?
Hurricanes … mainly affect people of a certain socio-economic class.
Hurricanes … only occur in certain areas.
Hurricanes … are powerful weather phenomena.
Hurricanes … only occur at specific times of the year.
Hurricanes … are caused by certain atmospheric conditions.
A sentence is a claim if it’s possible to say, “No, that’s not true”
3. EVALUATION OF TOPIC SENTENCES
… is weak: it introduces the topic (vaguely) but makes no claim about it.
Topic sentence in the Original ‘Republic’ Paragraph
Topic sentence in the Improved ‘Republic’ Paragraph
Another barrier to the elimination of the Monarchy is the lack of an alternative concept of State power.
The political challenge of becoming a republic needs to be considered.
TOPIC
CLAIM
3. PROBLEMS OF VAGUE TOPIC SENTENCE
Because the original topic sentence was so vague, the paragraph includes too much irrelevant detail
Facts are only worth including if they make any difference to the claim made in the topic sentence
... the current Governor General is Sir Jerry Mataparae
Australians voted by 55% to 45% against becoming a republic in the national referendum held on November 6th 1999, with only the State of Victoria giving a narrow majority in favour of the change ...
3. PRINCIPLES OF EFFECTIVE PARAGRAPHS
UnityThe paragraph should focus on a single claim
CoherenceEach sentence in the paragraph should build logically on the one before
Development
The paragraph’s claim must be supported with relevant evidence
3. TECHNIQUES FOR GREATER COHERENCE
Coherence can be achieved by creating language bridges from one sentence to another. This allows the claim to be supported and developed as the paragraph goes on. This can be done by:
Repetition and Variation of topic vocabulary: keeps the focus on the same topic
Back-reference devices: Using ‘this’ / ‘these’ / ‘such’ etc means that each sentence builds on the one before, helping your argument move forwardSentence adverbials: Words or phrases like ‘Moreover’ or ‘On the other hand’ highlight important steps in the argument – but should not be used too much or too loosely.
3. EXAMPLE OF PARAGRAPH COHERENCE
What makes this paragraph coherent?
Hurricanes, also known as cyclones or typhoons, exert tremendous power. These storms are often a hundred kilometres in diameter, and their winds can reach velocities well in excess of 120 kph (Snowdon, 2006). With such wind velocities, typically accompanied by heavy rain, hurricanes have the potential to completely destroy a small town in a matter of hours (Jameson, 1987). So great, in fact, is the energy released by a single hurricane that it has been estimated to exceed the total energy consumed by mankind throughout the world in one year (Fowles, 2001).
3. EXAMPLE OF PARAGRAPH COHERENCE
Repetition and Variation of vocabulary about the topic (hurricanes) and the claim (exert power) means that all the sentences are strongly linked back to the topic sentence
Hurricanes, also known as cyclones or typhoons, exert tremendous power. These storms are often a hundred kilometres in diameter, and their winds can reach velocities well in excess of 120 kph (Snowdon, 2006). With such wind velocities, typically accompanied by heavy rain, hurricanes have the potential to completely destroy a small town in a matter of hours (Jameson, 1987). So great, in fact, is the energy released by a single hurricane that it has been estimated to exceed the total energy consumed by mankind throughout the world in one year (Fowles, 2001).
3. EXAMPLE OF PARAGRAPH COHERENCE
Back-reference … means that each sentence builds on the one before
Hurricanes, also known as cyclones or typhoons, exert tremendous power. These storms are often a hundred kilometres in diameter, and their winds can reach velocities well in excess of 120 kph (Snowdon, 2006). With such wind velocities, typically accompanied by heavy rain, hurricanes have the potential to completely destroy a small town in a matter of hours (Jameson, 1987). So great, in fact, is the energy released by a single hurricane that it has been estimated to exceed the total energy consumed by mankind throughout the world in one year (Fowles, 2001).
3. EVALUATION OF PARAGRAPH COHERENCE
Improved ‘Republic’ ParagraphAnother barrier to elimination of the Monarchy is the lack of an alternative concept of State power. This difficulty is said to explain why Australians, less attached to the Monarchy than New Zealanders (Singh, 2010), voted against change in a referendum a decade ago (Campbell, 1999).
The clear back-reference and the omission of irrelevant details makes it more coherent and easy to follow.
The political challenge of becoming a republic needs to be considered. Firstly, Australians voted by 55% to 45% against becoming a republic in the national referendum held on November 6th 1999, with only the State of Victoria giving a narrow majority in favour of the change (Campbell, 1999). On the other hand, Australians are less attached to the Monarchy than New Zealanders (Singh, 2010).
Original ‘Republic’ Paragraph
Each sentence seems to set off in a new direction, so it’s hard to follow the argument
3. EXAMPLE OF PARAGRAPH COHERENCE
Sentence adverbials … highlight key ‘moves’ in the argument (eg important links, contrasts, limitations etc)
Hurricanes, also known as cyclones or typhoons, exert tremendous power. These storms are often a hundred kilometres in diameter, and their winds can reach velocities well in excess of 120 kph (Snowdon, 2006). With such wind velocities, typically accompanied by heavy rain, hurricanes have the potential to completely destroy a small town in a matter of hours (Jameson, 1987). So great, in fact, is the energy released by a single hurricane that it has been estimated to exceed the total energy consumed by mankind throughout the world in one year (Fowles, 2001).
3. EVALUATION OF PARAGRAPH COHERENCE
…. uses sentence adverbials – in a desperate attempt to cover up the lack of real coherence
Original ‘Republic’ Paragraph
Firstly, ........ On the other hand, ....... Secondly, ...... Thirdly, ..... However, ....... Therefore, ......
Improved ‘Republic’ Paragraph
…. uses just a couple of sentence adverbials strategically – to highlight important ‘moves’
... the issue is no longer even on the agenda (Behan, 2011). In the meantime, like New Zealand, Canada etc, Australia continues to be governed according to the authority of the ‘Crown’ .... Republicanism has traditionally replaced this ‘top-down’ authority with a concept of power of the people. However, this ‘people-power’ concept has been criticised ......
3. PRINCIPLES OF EFFECTIVE PARAGRAPHS
UnityThe paragraph should focus on a single claim
CoherenceEach sentence in the paragraph should build logically on the one before
Development
The paragraph’s claim must be supported with relevant evidence
3. CLAIM DEVELOPED THROUGH EVIDENCE
Hurricanes, also known as cyclones or typhoons, exert tremendous power. These storms are often a hundred kilometres in diameter, and their winds can reach velocities well in excess of 120 kph (Snowdon, 2006). With such wind velocities, typically accompanied by heavy rain, hurricanes have the potential to completely destroy a small town in a matter of hours (Jameson, 1987). So great, in fact, is the energy released by a single hurricane that it has been estimated to exceed the total energy consumed by mankind throughout the world in one year (Fowles, 2001).
4. Its energy
1. Its size
2. Its speed
3. Its capacity for destruction
3. INEFFECTIVE PARAGRAPH DEVELOPMENT
… lacks DEVELOPMENT. Its loosely-connected ideas create a ‘shopping-list’ effect through:
• Lack of focus on the topic and claim• Overuse of vague adverbials like ‘Firstly’, ‘Secondly’• Inclusion of irrelevant details• Random shifts between NZ and Australia• Adding one fact after another without explaining
how they support the argument
A shopping-list paragraph takes the reader on a confusing journey that leads nowhere
Original ‘Republic’ Paragraph
3. INEFFECTIVE PARAGRAPH DEVELOPMENT Political challenge must
be considered
Conclusion
Topic Sentence
Australians voted against - Victoria voted in favour – Australia not as keen on monarchy as NZ
Australia etc governed by authority of Crown
Supporting argument 1
Supporting argument 2
Supporting argument 3
Julia Gillard says the issue is not on the agenda in Australia
Sir Jerry Mataparae is NZ Governor General
Republics have people power – but not diverse or bicultural
Supporting argument 4 NZ’s treaty
principles mean it’s harder to abolish Monarchy
Supporting argument 5
3. EFFECTIVE PARAGRAPH DEVELOPMENT
... Uses the same ideas, but ...
• they’ve been more carefully selected (UNITY)
• they’ve been clearly built from one sentence to the next (COHERENCE)
• the claim made at the beginning is supported, leading up to a strong conclusion (DEVELOPMENT)
Improved version
A well-constructed paragraph tells the reader where they are going, guides them along the way and lets them know they’ve
reached the destination
3. EXAMPLE OF EFFECTIVE PARAGRAPH
Another barrier to elimination of the Monarchy is the lack of an alternative concept of State power. This difficulty is said to explain why Australians, less attached to the Monarchy than New Zealanders (Singh, 2010), voted against change in the referendum a decade ago (Campbell, 1999). The Australian Premier has recently said the issue is no longer even on the agenda (Behan, 2011). In the meantime, like New Zealand, Canada etc, Australia continues to be governed according to the authority of the ‘Crown’ as the executive branch of Government; an authority inherited from the colonial power, Britain (Radley & Foreman, 2003). Republicanism has traditionally replaced this ‘top-down’ authority with a concept of power of the people. However, this ‘people-power’ concept has been criticised for suppressing diversity and bi-culturalism in favour of ‘One Nation’ (Brown, 2003) and would clearly be especially problematic for New Zealand, where the Treaty Principles uphold partnership, protection and participation (Massey University, 2009). If Australia, where indigenous rights and biculturalism have been less prominent, has struggled to develop an alternative to the power of the Crown, how much more difficult would such a process be in New Zealand, where national identity is a complex and central political issue?
3. EFFECTIVE PARAGRAPH DEVELOPMENT Another barrier to
elimination of the Monarchy is developing an alternative
concept of State power
This barrier led to Australians voting to keep the Monarchy, even though they’re not really so keen on it
The alternative concept of ‘people power’ has been criticised for being monocultural
This criticism is especially valid in the NZ context of biculturalism.
Supporting argument 1
Supporting argument 2
Supporting argument 3
If this barrier was strong enough to stop Australia
eliminating the monarchy, it’s going to even more difficult for NZ to do so
Topic Sentence
Conclusion
4. INTRODUCTION PARAGRAPHS
… puts the issue into a context that shows why it’s
both important and problematic
... includes a brief definition of the topic
... briefly previews the structure of the essay
... presents the main argument of the essay in a thesis statement
4. EXAMPLE OF EFFECTIVE INTRODUCTION PARAGRAPH
During the early 2000s, the apparent success of the Euro increased global interest in regional common currencies (Siddiqi, 2003). As Mundell (2002, p. 4) argued, “if it’s right for Europe to scrap its national currencies, why is it wrong for other countries to do the same thing?” Especially, it might be added, when those countries have such strong cultural, social, economic and historical ties as Australia and New Zealand. It is unsurprising, therefore that a few years ago, a majority of New Zealand businesses were said to support a move to a currency union (Baker, 2007), though support has since slipped against the background of ongoing problems with the Euro (Brown, 2011). Currency union would involve the gradual reduction of monetary policy flexibility between the two nations to the point at which the currencies cease to be independent (Obiyathulla, 2008) – and can be merged. This essay will examine the arguments for and against this proposed currency union, evaluating its possible effects not only on the economy but also on key sectors of New Zealand society. It will be argued that although the adoption of a single currency with Australia might strengthen New Zealand’s financial system and ease international trade, it is not in New Zealand’s interests because its economy and society are fundamentally different from those of its more powerful neighbour.
4. EXAMPLE OF EFFECTIVE INTRODUCTION PARAGRAPH
context
During the early 2000s, the apparent success of the Euro increased global interest in regional common currencies (Siddiqi, 2003). As Mundell (2002, p. 4) argued, “if it’s right for Europe to scrap its national currencies, why is it wrong for other countries to do the same thing?” Especially, it might be added, when those countries have such strong cultural, social, economic and historical ties as Australia and New Zealand. It is unsurprising, therefore that a few years ago, a majority of New Zealand businesses were said to support a move to a currency union (Baker, 2007), though support has since slipped against the background of ongoing problems with the Euro (Brown, 2011). Currency union would involve the gradual reduction of monetary policy flexibility between the two nations to the point at which the currencies cease to be independent (Obiyathulla, 2008) – and can be merged. This essay will examine the arguments for and against this proposed currency union, evaluating its possible effects not only on the economy but also on key sectors of New Zealand society. It will be argued that although the adoption of a single currency with Australia might strengthen New Zealand’s financial system and ease international trade, it is not in New Zealand’s interests because its economy and society are fundamentally different from those of its more powerful neighbour.
4. EXAMPLE OF EFFECTIVE INTRODUCTION PARAGRAPH
definition
During the early 2000s, the apparent success of the Euro increased global interest in regional common currencies (Siddiqi, 2003). As Mundell (2002, p. 4) argued, “if it’s right for Europe to scrap its national currencies, why is it wrong for other countries to do the same thing?” Especially, it might be added, when those countries have such strong cultural, social, economic and historical ties as Australia and New Zealand. It is unsurprising, therefore that a few years ago, a majority of New Zealand businesses were said to support a move to a currency union (Baker, 2007), though support has since slipped against the background of ongoing problems with the Euro (Brown, 2011). Currency union would involve the gradual reduction of monetary policy flexibility between the two nations to the point at which the currencies cease to be independent (Obiyathulla, 2008) – and can be merged. This essay will examine the arguments for and against this proposed currency union, evaluating its possible effects not only on the economy but also on key sectors of New Zealand society. It will be argued that although the adoption of a single currency with Australia might strengthen New Zealand’s financial system and ease international trade, it is not in New Zealand’s interests because its economy and society are fundamentally different from those of its more powerful neighbour.
4. EXAMPLE OF EFFECTIVE INTRODUCTION PARAGRAPH
During the early 2000s, the apparent success of the Euro increased global interest in regional common currencies (Siddiqi, 2003). As Mundell (2002, p. 4) argued, “if it’s right for Europe to scrap its national currencies, why is it wrong for other countries to do the same thing?” Especially, it might be added, when those countries have such strong cultural, social, economic and historical ties as Australia and New Zealand. It is unsurprising, therefore that a few years ago, a majority of New Zealand businesses were said to support a move to a currency union (Baker, 2007), though support has since slipped against the background of ongoing problems with the Euro (Brown, 2011). Currency union would involve the gradual reduction of monetary policy flexibility between the two nations to the point at which the currencies cease to be independent (Obiyathulla, 2008) – and can be merged. This essay will examine the arguments for and against this proposed currency union, evaluating its possible effects not only on the economy but also on key sectors of New Zealand society. It will be argued that although the adoption of a single currency with Australia might strengthen New Zealand’s financial system and ease international trade, it is not in New Zealand’s interests because its economy and society are fundamentally different from those of its more powerful neighbour.
preview
4. EXAMPLE OF EFFECTIVE INTRODUCTION PARAGRAPH
thesis statement
During the early 2000s, the apparent success of the Euro increased global interest in regional common currencies (Siddiqi, 2003). As Mundell (2002, p. 4) argued, “if it’s right for Europe to scrap its national currencies, why is it wrong for other countries to do the same thing?” Especially, it might be added, when those countries have such strong cultural, social, economic and historical ties as Australia and New Zealand. It is unsurprising, therefore that a few years ago, a majority of New Zealand businesses were said to support a move to a currency union (Baker, 2007), though support has since slipped against the background of ongoing problems with the Euro (Brown, 2011). Currency union would involve the gradual reduction of monetary policy flexibility between the two nations to the point at which the currencies cease to be independent (Obiyathulla, 2008) – and can be merged. This essay will examine the arguments for and against this proposed currency union, evaluating its possible effects not only on the economy but also on key sectors of New Zealand society. It will be argued that although the adoption of a single currency with Australia might strengthen New Zealand’s financial system and ease international trade, it is not in New Zealand’s interests because its economy and society are fundamentally different from those of its more powerful neighbour.
5. CONCLUSION
PARAGRAPHS
THE CONCLUDING PARAGRAPH typically ...
… rephrases the thesis statement
... highlights the main supporting arguments
... comments briefly on the implications for the present or future (eg for the world, for NZ, for the sector, for the field of study etc)
5. EXAMPLE OF EFFECTIVE CONCLUSION PARAGRAPH
As we have seen, although a currency union with Australia does offer certain concrete financial advantages to New Zealand, it is not in the wider national interests. We have argued that the loss of control over fiscal policies and the different profile of the Australian economy within international trade mean that such a currency union poses unacceptable risks even from a purely economic viewpoint. Moreover, a currency union would threaten the social and cultural differentiation from its more powerful neighbour which New Zealand has worked hard to achieve. However, the strongest argument against such a move is the fact that it is unnecessary, given the effectiveness of the current interrelationship between the two economies. Whether this positive evaluation will continue to hold in the future will depend both on the commitment of the two nations to mutual co-operation as well as the broader monetary environment. In particular, the emergence of a common currency within Asia may well require a reconsideration of this question, though the broader national interests must remain our guiding principle.
5. EXAMPLE OF EFFECTIVE CONCLUSION PARAGRAPH
As we have seen, although a currency union with Australia does offer certain concrete financial advantages to New Zealand, it is not in the wider national interests. We have argued that the loss of control over fiscal policies and the different profile of the Australian economy within international trade mean that such a currency union poses unacceptable risks even from a purely economic viewpoint. Moreover, a currency union would threaten the social and cultural differentiation from its more powerful neighbour which New Zealand has worked hard to achieve. However, the strongest argument against such a move is the fact that it is unnecessary, given the effectiveness of the current interrelationship between the two economies. Whether this positive evaluation will continue to hold in the future will depend both on the commitment of the two nations to mutual co-operation as well as the broader monetary environment. In particular, the emergence of a common currency within Asia may well require a reconsideration of this question, though the broader national interests must remain our guiding principle.
rephrases thesis statement
5. EXAMPLE OF EFFECTIVE CONCLUSION PARAGRAPH
As we have seen, although a currency union with Australia does offer certain concrete financial advantages to New Zealand, it is not in the wider national interests. We have argued that the loss of control over fiscal policies and the different profile of the Australian economy within international trade mean that such a currency union poses unacceptable risks even from a purely economic viewpoint. Moreover, a currency union would threaten the social and cultural differentiation from its more powerful neighbour which New Zealand has worked hard to achieve. However, the strongest argument against such a move is the fact that it is unnecessary, given the effectiveness of the current interrelationship between the two economies. Whether this positive evaluation will continue to hold in the future will depend both on the commitment of the two nations to mutual co-operation as well as the broader monetary environment. In particular, the emergence of a common currency within Asia may well require a reconsideration of this question, though the broader national interests must remain our guiding principle.
highlights the main supporting arguments
5. EXAMPLE OF EFFECTIVE CONCLUSION PARAGRAPH
As we have seen, although a currency union with Australia does offer certain concrete financial advantages to New Zealand, it is not in the wider national interests. We have argued that the loss of control over fiscal policies and the different profile of the Australian economy within international trade mean that such a currency union poses unacceptable risks even from a purely economic viewpoint. Moreover, a currency union would threaten the social and cultural differentiation from its more powerful neighbour which New Zealand has worked hard to achieve. However, the strongest argument against such a move is the fact that it is unnecessary, given the effectiveness of the current interrelationship between the two economies. Whether this positive evaluation will continue to hold in the future will depend both on the commitment of the two nations to mutual co-operation as well as the broader monetary environment. In particular, the emergence of a common currency within Asia may well require a reconsideration of this question, though the broader national interests must remain our guiding principle.
Comments on implications
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