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Babywearing and Traveling By Jackie de la Motte

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With family living in the other end of the country, long distance plane travel is a given. Pre-children this wasn’t an issue – off one plane and on to another with no worries about keeping an eye on children or the extra baggage that goes along with them. Not only does Babywearing make our everyday lives much easier but it sure has made long distance travel with children a lot more carefree. No need to worry about where the littlest one is whilst making our way through arrivals and departures or managing a pram or stroller with the rest of the luggage.

I have never been so glad to be a Babywearing Mama than my last trip to see family. Our youngest was only 10 months old when my dear sister in-law lost her battle to Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. The last minute booking meant that for financial reasons I had to do what I never wanted to do – leave both my husband and my then 3 year old at home and travel 3000km with just my youngest. Nevertheless, young Jessica and I took off Northward bound with our trusty and well used soft structure carrier.

There was only one brief stopover on the way up but I was still glad of babywearing. It made getting off the plane and finding our way through all the other passengers to the next boarding gate very quick and easy. Our return flight not only included two stopovers but also a

change in airline carriers which meant a long hike through the car park to find my way to the next airline’s departure lounge. There is no way I could have managed to lug a suitcase and a small carry on bag through the airports without babywearing. As much as we’d love

to have more hands, a mother only has two!

Not only does babywearing make getting through the airport easier but the pure convenience of being able to wear your little one straight on to the plane and getting back off again is excellent. Your baby carrier, be it a sling, wrap or SSC comes onboard with you so there is no waiting around for other baby transport.

Once we’d reached our destination, babywearing was convenient as it is every day at home. Jessica was happy because she was close to me in a not-so-familiar and very emotional environment. In the circumstances, I too was very glad to have her close to me.

There was only one occasion that we travelled without any kind of babywearing carrier. I’m still not 100% sure why but I decided to take our double buggy with us on this particular holiday, leaving the wrap at home. My girls were 2 years old and 3 months old and for some reason I thought the buggy was the better option. The buggy only left the boot once but there were many times I was longing for the ease and convenience of the wrap!

So it was a given that when we recently embarked on our first international trip, with the two children, that the first thing on our list was the carrier. Okay, maybe the passports were slightly more important! It made late night stopovers, sleep times, numerous flights so much easier!

Much to the disappointment of Miss

Jessica, our beloved carrier has been put away due to my pregnant tummy not being so comfortable with babywearing. I think we both miss it!

Jackie is Mama of two little girls, wife to an amazing hubby and owner of Lulu & Jess. As with babywearing, we love reusable products!

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Baby Steps and Felicity Ryan BalletA Mumpreneur InterviewBy Kate Sward, Hobart Mumpreneur Coordinator

Felicity Ryan, the Mumpreneur behind Baby Steps and Felicity Ryan Ballet has just been nominated for the 2014 Telstra Business awards in its first 12 months of operation. Felicity is a fine example of how adversity can challenge yet inspire you to ‘live your dream’. She has followed her heart and made a true success of her passion in life-ballet.

Who is Felicity Ryan?

I am a 37 year old mother of two (ages 3 and 5) who presently owns and runs two businesses, Baby Steps Ballet and Felicity Ryan Ballet. Tell us about your businesses and what you do.

At Baby Steps Ballet I teach fun pre-ballet classes to little dancers ages 2 and up, and at Felicity Ryan Ballet, I teach classical ballet to children of all ages (including adult ballet).

What were you doing prior to Baby Steps & Felicity Ryan Ballet?

I was working for the Department of Human Services.

Who was your inspiration growing up? Why?

Famous ballerina Margot Fonteyn. She had such a presence on stage that you could sense her before you could see her. She is the reason why I fell in love with this beautiful art form.

What was the inspiration behind starting Baby Steps & Felicity Ryan Ballet?

My husband. Several years ago he was diagnosed with nasopharyngeal cancer. My children were only 3 months and 2 ½ years old at the time. It reminded me how fragile life really is, and that not a moment should be wasted doing something that doesn’t bring you, and everyone around you, joy.

What was your first step in setting up your business?

I would write down a series of goals at the beginning of each week, and meet them.

How do you balance home/work life?

Not easily, especially when you are working from home with young children. I guess I just try and set regular

working hours for myself at home and in the studio, and stick to them as much as possible. Knowing when to switch off the computer and the phone is vital to achieving this!

Favourite Quote?

The only thing to fear in life is fear itself.

Biggest challenge as a business woman?

Recognising my own limitations and that I cannot please everybody.

Perks of being a Mumpreneur?

Being my own boss, and negotiating my working hours so I can spend more time with my beautiful little family.

What has been your biggest achievement to date?

Baby Steps Ballet being nominated for the 2014 Telstra Business awards in its first 12 months of operation. It is just so lovely and humbling to have all your hard work acknowledged.

Tips for aspiring Mumpreneurs

• Just do it. You can spend a life time waiting for the “right time” to come along.

• Let your business be the thing you are most passionate about.

• Stay focused, and don’t worry about what everyone else is doing.

• Recognise your own worth, but don’t be greedy.• Support and collaborate with other local

businesses.• Never ever give up.

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Moroccan Cracked Wheat, Prawns and Zucchini BraiseBy Penni Lamprey

Penni is a mum of three, Alex (5), Ryan (3) and Grace (21mths) she has operated A Method of Cookery for over a year, her vision is to help clients identify healthy

food choices and how to prepare them, while being the ultimate wingman on a journey of long term sustainable change. http://amethodofcookery.com/

Bowen Therapy has been used for over 40 years! Rather than focusing on a single complaint, Bowen Therapy addresses the entire body, by restoring balance via the autonomic nervous system (ANS). The ANS controls over 80% of bodily functions and is very susceptible to external stressors.

Bowen Therapy can be performed on neonates within a day or so after birth. It is so gentle, the child is barely aware of being treated. The birth is one of the most traumatic processes we go through and can affect the growing posture of a child. Bowen Therapy helps the child by realigning the structure of the spine and pelvis, and most importantly the cranium and Temporal Mandibular Joint.

Bowen Therapy can also help treat:Sleeping problems, ADHD, asthma, autism, allergies, bed-wetting, constipation, cerebral palsy, chest infections, clicky hips, colic, croup, dyspraxia, eczema, glue ear, growing pains, headaches, muscular and skeletal problems, misalignment of the spine, panic attacks, psoriasis sinusitis, stress and many more. In addition it can improve/correct posture, balance and co-ordination helping the child learn new skills and improve confidence.

Bowen benefits include:• Improved sleeping patterns, • more balanced energy levels,• better concentration and

application,

• enhanced motor control and behaviour

• and generally happier, quieter children.

It also aids recovery from trauma e.g. difficult birth, accident, a family death, divorce/separation within family. Some childhood ailments may require regular treatments.Unlike many other hands-on-therapies, the Bowen Technique does not use forceful manipulation. It is safe to use on anyone from newborns to the aged and provides lasting relief from pain and discomfort.

For more information please contact Miriam on 0427 641 994 or visit her website at www.bowenforeverybody.com.au

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Hi everyone!

The weather is finally starting to warm up and hopefully it’ll be T-shirt weather soon! There are a variety of things on this month. Don’t forget the Show Holiday on Thursday, 24 October.

Hobart

The Bush Adventures program. Visit http://www.hobartcity.com.au/Recreation/Bushland/Bush_Adventures to find out more

Parenting courses through Anglicare123 Magic and Emotion Parenting starts 30 OctoberEngaging Adolescents starts 21 OctoberContact Anglicare for details

TMAG Family day – last Sunday of the month

Kingborough

Social Circus Tasmania – Kingston Beach Hall, Thursday 10 October

thINK drawing festival – Channel Court Shopping Centre, 7-13 October details at bradfielddumppleton.com

Activities at the ‘Kids Allowed’ shop Channel CourtPlant a seedling, make a bookworm and lots more. Activities throughout October. Kingborough council has the details.

Glenorchy

Brixhibition Lego Show – Kennel Pavilion, Hobart Showgrounds, 6&7 October.

Hobart show, 23-26 October

LINC & Play at Glenorchy LINC, 11am-2pm, 24 October

Clarence

Shannons Car and Bike Expo – Charles Hand Memorial Park, Rosny Hill Rd, Kangaroo Bay 10am-3pm, 20 October – come see a century of motor vehicle design.

The Barn Market – 10am – 3pm, 5 October

What’s On - OctoberBy Anna Stam, Community Liaison

While ABC2 is like liquid gold on a cranky day, there are only so many episodes of Thomas the Tank Engine to cycle through before you know them by heart. Sure there are the classic Disney films to rent, all those lovely Pixar movies too, but here are two off-the-radar family films worthy of a test run.

Nanny McPhee

This is a really clever movie about a snaggle-toothed lady called Nanny McPhee who is mysteriously called upon to mend the Brown family. Consisting of seven children and their bedraggled yet loving father (Colin Firth), the Brown family are trying to recover from the untimely death of their mother. As a result, the children take pride in terrorising every governess hired until they meet Nanny McPhee.

Played by the incorrigible Emma Thompson, McPhee is a calm yet imposing force to be reckoned with. Madcap shenanigans ensue as the kids try to outwit McPhee but with time and a good dose of magic, the family begin to repair their frayed seams. Misguided romance is peppered through the film as Mr Brown seeks a wife, a difficult pursuit until he admits his love for his scullery maid, played by the perky Kelly Macdonald. With a stellar cast that includes Derek Jacobi, Imelda Staunton and Angela Lansbury, this underrated family flick is funny, intelligent and visually appealing (lots of pretty English countryside and brightly coloured Edwardian costumes).

The brilliant screenplay written by Emma Thompson also plays a large part in the film’s charm. Adapted from the Nurse Matilda books penned by Christianna Brand and published in the 1960s, Thompson lends wit and flair to a tried and true storyline. A perfect rainy day film for preschool age kids, this is one the mum’s can watch too. Because let’s face it, when does the sight of Colin Firth standing at the altar surrounded by a magical flurry of snow not make you weak at the knees?

My Neighbour Totoro

Set in a rural Japanese village full of rice fields hemmed by thick forest, My Neighbour Totoro is a captivating and critically regarded film with a strong emphasis on childhood, nature and tenacity. The film revolves around the everyday lives of Satsuki and Mei, young sisters discovering their new surrounds after moving house to be closer to their hospitalised mother. Out in their garden one day, Mei discovers a small “Totoro”- a furry, rabbit-like nature spirit akin to a very cute troll - scattering acorns through the grass. She

follows it into the forest to an ancient camphor tree. Tripping over a tree root, Mei falls into a hole at the base of the tree and tumbles out into a wooded grotto where she meets another, much larger “king” Totoro. He becomes a friendly guardian of sorts to Mei and Satsuki, sweeping them up into his quiet, mysterious world of natural wonder at a time when they need it most.

Created by the renowned

Japanese animation company Studio Ghibli and directed by Hayao Miyazaki, this film was originally released in 1988. There have been several English translations with the best being released by Disney in 2006 (Dakota and Elle Fanning voice the sisters). The animation is old school, hand drawn 2D and the character design is delightfully eccentric. The story is easy to follow and leaves you with a lovely sense of magical wonder. My daughter discovered this film when she was 18 months old and she would watch it from start to finish. It is still one of her favourites. A plush version of Totoro can even be seen in Bonnie’s room in Toy Story 3 – a subtle homage to Miyasaki included by Pixar’s John Lassiter.

Briony is a freelance arts writer based in Hobart. She currently divides her time between writing for magazines and chasing a toddler called Clementine.

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3 Magical Snow and Cutie TrollsBy Briony Downes

I have this conversation a few times a week. I am usually with my 9 month old so it generally starts like this:

Them: Is he your first?Me: No, I have two older boys.Them: Wow – three boys! How old are they?Me: Seven.Them: Twins?!Me: No.Them: (blank look)

Then I usually explain that my eldest child, H, isn’t mine. Not biologically.

He’s mine in the sense that I make his lunches every day and I get up in the night to him when he is sick. I know which fruit he will eat on any given day (currently not mandarines, but he’s back onto eating bananas so…. you win some, you lose some). I know who his best friend is and I organise the playdates. I know which days are library, PE, art and his sharing day at school. I know what he looks like asleep and I know what to do when he is upset.

But I didn’t give birth to him. He has a mother who loves him and whom he loves. But he lives with me.

I feel like we’ve come through the hardest bit (although the teenage years loom like a dark cloud filled with door slamming, loud music and a healthy dose of: “You can’t tell me what to do! You’re not my mum!”). We’ve taken a 6 year old who has lived mostly with his daddy for the past few years and a 5 year old who has lived mostly with his mummy for the past few years and stuck them together in one house. We’ve relocated the 5 year old , Z, from his home and from his loving father in London and moved him to another country, another school, another everything.

The children took time to adjust.

H is energetic, impulsive and sometimes daft. He skitters around the house, hanging onto doors as he screeches around corners and repeating everything twenty times. He loves Lego and zombies.

Z is sensitive, thoughtful and sometimes daft. He drifts around the house wanting to discuss in detail something you mentioned briefly two weeks ago. He loves deer and baby animals.

One of the best things about jamming together our two little families has been seeing both boys gain so much from the other one. H will now sit and draw for hours. Z will now throw himself around a trampoline like a stuntman. They’ve grown together, they are best friends and it’s beautiful.

The parents took time to adjust.

My husband and I used to have the same argument quite frequently (thankfully, we now have it very rarely). We call it: “Your child/my child”. It usually stems from trying to ‘defend’ our biological child from their step-parent. We feel the need to ‘protect’, to justify and to explain their behavior. We have been known to undermine each other in order to give our child what they want. We have had long talks about this (I’d call them talks, my husband might call them arguments…) and we are much better at not doing it, but it’s still a work in progress.

My husband and I brought different parenting styles to our new family. This is a problem for lots of couples but, in our case, the children had lived with these separate styles for years. I brought bedtimes, regular baths and lots of cleaning. I was much stricter. My husband brought a love of outdoor play, adventurous food choices and lots of computer games. He was much more fun.

It took me a long time to realise that me being ‘bad cop’ and my husband being ‘good cop’ wasn’t just about step-parenting, about me being the ‘evil step-mother’. The ‘fun daddy’ and the ‘rule-driven mummy’ is a common theme in many households, after all….

But things are good. They’re really good. We’ve lived like this for almost two years now. The birth of E, in December, means that our family is no longer two separate units, him and his son and me and mine. We are a family of five. We are one unit. But when you throw in my children’s other parents, their new partners and more half siblings.… we are so much more.

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Things You Can and Can’t Do with a KidBy Naomi Rainbird

My name is Naomi and I’m a first-time mum to baby Jim.

I’ve been a mum for exactly two hundred and ninety four days. Or, to be more precise, two hundred and ninety four sleepless nights. And for one hundred and thirty of those days… and nights, I’ve been a single mum.

With the sudden, and unexpected absence of a husband to work through the initial ‘Why is the hospital

letting us take this tiny human home when it’s obvious we have no idea what to do with it?’ phase of parenting with, I’ve been figuring out exactly ‘What to do with it’ on my own ever since.

Initially, I read parenting books, downloaded the latest ‘What your baby should be doing today’ apps and even, horror of all horrors, asked the all-knowing oracle, Google, how to be a parent. But eventually, the sheer volume of information and research and opinions made me feel more confused than empowered, and

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3 one day, after trying to decide whether it would be worse for Jim to be psychologically damaged by being taken for a walk in a forward facing carrier or potentially suffering from hip dysplasia if I instead used the Baby Bjorn, I had enough. I threw all the literature away and decided to just go with my gut and a whole lot o’ lovin’ instead.

And now, day-by-day, I’m discovering exactly what I can and cannot do with a kid.

Every day is full of questions. Things like ‘Can I take Jim camping on my own?’ or ‘Can I hope to work with any sort of productivity after yet another night of teething?’ or even something as simple as ‘Can I take Jim to a public toilet on my own?’

The first time I went to a public toilet with Jim was at my local doctor’s surgery. After months of very little social contact and working hard to lose my baby weight, I decided I’d head out to my appointment in my skinniest skinny jeans and finest heels, even if it was only for the benefit of my sixty year old, female doctor. Feeling like Posh Spice, I strutted through the waiting room and, deciding to take a pit-stop compliments of my newly stretched pelvic floor, elegantly pushed the loo door open with my hip, locked it behind me and began to de-robe as appropriate.

It was only then that I realised carrying a baby meant that I only had one hand free.

And with the few extra kilos I was still carrying post-baby, my jeans were practically painted on to my body. And I hadn’t worn high heels for over twelve months, so my balance was that of a one-legged seagull on a waterbed.

So after much one-handed shimmying, grunting and struggling to pull down my denims with one hand

while trying to hold my baby up by the armpits with the other, I was finally ready to pee.

But one conundrum still remained…What to do with Jim while I did so? My first instinct was to sit him on the floor beside me. But thankfully, as I was mere millimetres from resting his nappy clad behind on the concrete floor, my inbuilt mummy alarm kicked in told me that sitting my five month old on a dirty concrete floor could possibly not end well on many levels.

So with no better ideas, and a bladder fuller than Play School’s Useful Box, I decided he’d just have to sit on my lap and I went about my business as quickly as I could with a baby who, after being very patient with his new and slightly clueless mum, was now wiggling around like a worm on hot cement.

Finally done, I went to button up my jeans. The jeans that I had earlier that day had to lie on my bed to do up.

Very quickly, I knew I had to concede defeat, so made the call to leave them undone and make a sneaky dash back to my car, only to open the door and bump straight into the practice nurse. But instead of dashing past her as would’ve been sensible, I thrust my hip towards her and asked her if she could possibly do up my pants.

Surprisingly, she kindly obliged.

In hindsight, it may have been more appropriate to ask her to hold Jim while I did up my own pants, but that would’ve been a lot less humiliating now, wouldn’t it?So, after all this… Can you take you child to a public toilet by yourself? Yes, you can, but if you do, I’d recommend wearing a skirt and a pair of thongs.

We all have an idea in our minds of what our near perfect partner would be like. Let me describe some characteristics that would make it easy to love someone.

We would love a partner who continually points out all our good qualities and achievements and who compliments us on even the small things we do. Someone who reminds us of our good looks and charm, our ability to be clever, insightful, courageous, caring and sensitive.

We would love a partner who is patient with our bad habits and understanding of our moods and emotions; a lover who turns a blind eye when we make mistakes and can pretend to be deaf when we say something wrong.

We can easily create in our minds exactly how we would like another person to be.Now if we were to decide, and choose, to be that kind of person for our partner, imagine how near perfect

you could be for them They would feel understood, appreciated and loved.

Be the kind of lover toward your partner that you would like them to be as your lover. It’s the golden rule for a great marriage.

Hans is a marriage counsellor, husband, father, step-father, and local minister. You can contact him via www.hobartmarriagecounselling.com.au. He also writes a regular Marriage Q&A for HMN Monthly. You can ask him any question to be answered by emailing info@hobartmarriagecounselling.com.au .

Golden Rule for MarriageBy Hans Kelder

A few years ago, I heard Dr. Cathrine Neilsen-Hewitt from the Institute of Early Childohod at Macquarie University speak on the topic, “The Effects of Media Violence on Children.” She spoke about the statistics of media violence, the reactions of children and how media violence affects children’s development.

Following is a snapshot of what I learnt….

Children watch an average of 2 - 4 hrs of TV daily. This means by the end of Primary School, they will have seen 8,000 murders, and 100,000 acts of violence – this is from the news you watch, the shows you watch the ‘cartoon’ violence in kids shows etc. A horrifying statistic. Over time children become desensitized to it – meaning they can see a violent act being committed (on TV or in real life) and have no response to it.

Just as every exposure to cigarettes leads to an increase in the risk of developing cancer, every exposure to violence leads to an increase in the risk of behaving violently. (due to the desensitization mentioned above).

People may say: “I played with guns (toy) and it didn’t affect me”. On an individual basis may be true. As a society however, there has been a significant increase in violence in the past 30 years. Obviously there are many contributing factors.

Children less than 6 years old are at a very significant time, in terms of learning patterns of behaviour (both passive and aggressive) from those around them, and what they watch on the screen. After 9 years of age, exposure to violence has less significance (in terms of repeating it) as their patterns of ‘normal’ behaviour have already been established in the first 6 years.

Children less than six years old are more likely to be influenced by exposure to violence as they: have difficulty distinguishing between reality and fantasy; are more likely

to initiate violence; and, their visual memory is better than their auditory memory, (ie they will remember the picture, but not the ‘why’).

Parents are powerful in this….. when parents ignore or approve of the violence their children watch (or in the computer games they play), the children are more at risk (of developing violent behaviours). The key issues is: Do the children get the message from you, that the seen violent behaviour is acceptable, or not? – at an early age this value judgement is made by the parents. This means is they are watching something ‘unsuitable’, and you say nothing, they assume that you approve!

If children do see violent acts (on TV or in life) talk about it– eg. “Why do you think that kid hit the dog? What else could s/he have done if they were angry?” This gives your children that violence does occur, but that it is unacceptable.

Be aware of what your children are watching – every now and then sit through a show with your child and check in, to see if the values portrayed are consistent with those you desire for your family! And remember that even when they aren’t sitting down ‘watching’ the TV, they are still hearing and absorbing what is being seen and heard.

As parents, remember that there is an OFF button on the TV, and it’s okay for you to use it

For more information:

http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2004/10/03/1096741898399.html

http://www.elctoys.com.au/images/documents/pr_media/media_4-10-2004.pdf

Sonja Preston was a Parenting Consultant with the NSW Dept Education for 10 years, working with the ‘Parents as Teachers’ program, before moving to Tasmania 2 years ago. She now works part time at the Tasmanian Aboriginal Centre as an Early Learning Home Visitor, and runs her own business as a Success Strategist at “Three Wise Owls”. Sonja is a National Trainer for the ‘Parents as Teachers’ program, run by Macquarie University, NSW. She runs ‘123 Magic & Emotion Coaching’ parenting workshops, and is Tasmania’s only ‘Dunstan Baby Language’ Educator.

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3 Violence on TVBy Sonja Preston

I read Richard Ferber's book 'Solve your child's sleep problems', expecting to hate it.  After all, he advocates leaving a baby to cry for long periods, alone, doesn't he?  Didn't he make 'crying it out' acceptable?  Maybe these distasteful ideas are in one of his other books?

Later, I read the preface, in which Ferber explains his method of 'graduated extinction' ( leaving a baby to settle for longer and longer intervals and giving 5-10 minutes of comfort at each 'visit' as a reaction against full 'extinction' methods where small babies were left in their beds until to following morning, regardless of whether the baby settled and went to sleep or was crying for the duration.  Ferber has also done a lot of work with co-sleeping families and families who implement other 'attachment' methods of settling.  He only urges changes when they fit with the families and their parenting ideology.  What a guy!

1.Ferber's approach is of course, clinical, he is a pediatrican and the Director of a Pediatric Sleep Disorders Unit at a Children's Hospital.  His case studies generally feature children over 6 months up to 6 years of age. His book cites actual sleep disorders diagnosed and resolved, not your average baby that cries a few times a night. 

A real strength of Ferber's book is his knowledge of the physiology of sleep in adults and infants.  If you want to read about sleep cycles and REM and non-REM cycles, it is quite comprehensive.  However, if all you want to know is 'Why does my baby wake more between the hours of 10pm and 5 am?',  well, apparently babies enter deep sleep in the first part of their night and lighter sleep in the later part before re-entering deep sleep again between 5- 8 am.This is why babies may wake a lot more after a certain point but usually sleep really well in the early part of the night.  It is also why babies may still demand a feed at the time despite being strapping 15 kg toddler on three hearty meals a day.  These are usually the cases he works with.

Another helpful point Ferber makes is that 'naturally' our circadian clock is at odds with the 24 clock we all must work, eat, sleep and live by most of the time.  'Naturally' left to our own devices we would operate on a 25-26 hour clock, according to Ferber, which is why unless we implement a routine with babies, they take some time to 'find their own'.  Some babies never find their own and toddlers have long ranging sleep problems from being allowed to follow their own 'clocks', so if you were trying to find optimum nap time every day would be like hitting a moving target and that bedtime would get later and later until it was at 2am and then eventually became 7 again, you get the idea.Hence he encourages  relatively set times for feeding and naps especially in the early days, even if these times don't really 'stick'. Don't have a cow about

making baby have a X hour schedule and exactly two 2 hour naps a day and catnap, but keep persevering, as you are attempting to show an infant/child some order to give structure to their sleep.

Ferber doesn't only advocate crying methods but particularly when the disorders are extreme (drinking 20 bottles a night and only taking a little bit then waking after 4 bottles with soaked nappies), Ferber recommends graduated (with timed intervals set by parents and their capacity to cope) crying sleep methods. In some cases when parents do not want to use a crying method, such as the all familiar multiple bottles one above, a toddler was given fewer bottles in the night over the course of a few weeks and when the final bottle was removed, some crying 'for five minutes' over two nights occurred. Sounds ok, yes?

He gives a checklist to create good sleep habits, most of which we see echoed by the Gina Ford's, Tizzie Hall's and Tracy Hogg's of this world and it was frankly good to see where these (usually unreferenced) ideas come from.  Hogg doesn't like Ferber thoughand believes he does not pay enough attention to baby temperament, (Cooke, p.139) I can't comment on that as it wasn't really apparent from this book. However, a lot of what we know about sleep, routines and the order ( or lack thereof) of baby sleeping and waking patterns is covered by Ferber in a well laid out sort of a way.

Anyhoo, here is that checklist he advocates for teaching your baby/toddler to sleep if you're unhappy with the current state of affairs.

1. Correct the sleep association for the CHILD's benefit, not your own convenience ( i.e decide what they need and be consistent, don't pike because you are having second thoughts or chop and change to a different way each night)

2. Correct the sleep association for the CHILD's benefit, not your own convenience ( i.e decide what they need and be consistent, don't pike because you are having second thoughts or chop and change to a different way each night)

3. Sleep associations/conditions ought not be stimulating or continuous.  ( i.e baby falls asleep in moving car/swing/arms/near buzzing tv) How can a baby stay in deep sleep if the swing stops, the sucking of a dummy stops ( when it falls out) the bottle is empty or the tv changes from soothing infomercials to reruns of 'Two and a half men?' Also, the quality of sleep while in motion is less beneficial than sleep in bed/motionless place according to his studies of brainwaves. He doesn't rule out motion methods but when sleep training he recommends a bed and no TV!

4. Baby wakes where baby falls asleep.  Don't transplant baby from your arms to bed and expect him to stay there all night! When he wakes again, he

Is Ferber Asking Us to Let Them ‘Cry It Out’?By Amy Isham

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will need your arms again. He does an illustration for you about how you would feel if you went to sleep in your bed and woke somewhere else - i.e the floor and the blanket was different or you were suddenly wearing pajamas.

5. Wait until the baby is old enough to have props changed/removed.  Ferber suggests 5 months as a good age to change sleep associations although he does say you can change things for little babies ( maybe not breastfeeding to sleep for example can be changed relatively easily earlier) but to be quick to stop if baby responds badly. Tread carefully, a lot of sleep props can be fixed later so don't stress too much.

6. Different sleep associations can exist at different times and places - this is ok.  You may take baby for a walk for afternoon nap and not need to walk them at bedtime, they may need their alligator at Nana's but their cuddle blanket at home etc.  You might find feeding your baby to sleep for naps is fine but bedtime causes middle of the night waking for unnecessary feeds... Whatever the associations, they are not necessarily problematic in themselves for some conditions. They can be changed if they start to cause trouble.  You may find a similarity with Pinky McKay here.

7. If baby can settle well during naps but not in the middle of the night, don't fret, the self settling itself shows they will sort it out and that they are able to re settle. He doesn't say not to do anything but just says that it is a good thing.

8. Back to sleep cycles and times of night, waking is more frequent between the hours you REALLY need to zzzzzzzzzz. ( 10pm to 5 am)

9. Don't worry about 'spoiling' your baby by breaking the rules for travelling, sickness, nightmares etc.  Just be firm and go back to the limits you originally set when illness is over and you are home from holiday.  He has a chapter on nightmares and night terrors that I didn't read which you may find helpful if you have a child with these issues. The complexity of sleep phases is something I would like revisit some day.

10. LOTS and LOTS of love during the day is vital if you allow some crying methods for settling at night, the context of a loving home is essential or don't bother with a crying method.

11. Be consistent in what you do. ( notice a trend?)12. Be consistent in the amount of time you leave a

child to cry to settle ( i.e don't shorten the time to 2 mins if it was 5 mins the night before - however if baby sounds likes they are settling and you think they are not stressed but falling asleep, wait longer if need be)

13. Share settling responsibilities if you have a partner, the milk lady can often have trouble re-settling a night waker who no longer needs the milk but can smell it maddeningly within reach.

14. Vomitting.  Hmm, this is where I think most people would pull the plug or throw the book across the room, he says toddlers can often arc themselves up to vomit a lot and that it often passes, just clean it up and stay the course ( don't forget we're talking a doctor who works with extreme sleep disorders, not a tiny baby whose needs are not being met). Robin Barker says something about this too but dryly mentions that vomitting is pretty inconvenient so it may be hard to stay the course if you are cleaning up vomit 4 times a night.

15. Stick to the settling technique, if its crying, don't fear waking an older child as they tend to be more resilient than you. ( ??? Not sure about this one)

16. Explain crying to neighbours and that you are not just off watching tv or surfing the interwebs but poised outside toddler/baby/s door.  This if just for your own peace of mind, or not, if your walls are paper thin.

17. DIY - don't get babysitters to look after kids with settling regime in place, unless you can involve them in the process. (Again ?) Trusted babysitter is emphasised, no strangers, preferably family and someone who can stay the course.

18. Last but not least, once your baby knows how to sleep, try not to stress if things fall apart temporarily but stay the course and don't let slips become the new settling regime.

So there you have it, Ferber.  A very interesting and helpful read.  Overall, quite reassuring that often night waking is more sleep than hunger after a certain age and that changes can be made - it will be difficult, but there are ways to make it happen if you are committed to it.

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We sit on the sand while the waves gently creep up the shore, our only reminder of the passing of time. Today we have thrown away the beeps and the bells and alarms that punctuate our day. We have cleared the schedule. Today we have dedicated our time to play.

The boys industriously move smooth, warm stones from pile to pile; a clear unspoken plan is in place. Today we have escaped the rules and competitiveness. For now I hear no whines, screams or shouts. There is no mine and yours. For now everything is fair.

Passing TimeBy Jessica Schmidt

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3 The ocean dictates the steady rhythm and the boy’s play falls into sync. Their brotherly bond is so clear I feel like I could reach out and touch it. The winter sunlight kisses their serious little expressions and I am jealous of its touch. I know if I approach the spell will be broken.

A smile from the youngest breaks the moment and he races off along the deserted beach. Arms out wide, face to the sky, his laugh trails off on the wind. Older brother watches for a while and then gives chase, the laughter gets louder and the seagulls shriek. The sleepy, lazy play time pace has given way to the more familiar rush, but a rush to no where. A rush just for fun.

The boy’s figures are in the distance now and they run side-by-side, thrilled by the endless space and the possibility in the lack of a destination. They have traveller’s souls.

I run to meet them, barefoot like the boys, I easily close the distance. I gather them up in my arms; we fall laughing onto the sand until it’s time to find the next adventure.

In the rock pools the boys peer into worlds that are magically revealed as the tide goes out only to be reclaimed as the icy water rushes back in. The

whirlpools suck their feet into the sand and the boys giggle and smile fascinated in the ocean’s game.Blue starfish make their acquaintance as they respectfully kneel and quietly examine. The spell is cast once again as I watch them work in an unspoken agreement of look don’t touch. I watch their restraint as tiny fingers itch to reach out and shake hands.

Large granite rocks are a majestic presence and become castles to be stormed. Sandy feet slip on surfaces worn by time. The eldest reaches the top first and pulls his younger brother to safety. They wobble locked in an embrace. I falter at the bottom and their beaming smiles send reassurance. They have it under control but I scramble up to join them and they welcome me into their newly found kingdom.

Thick seaweed becomes my princess crown and my feet glitter with golden sand. My loyal subjects remain close to my side. I feel the warmth from a head absent-mindedly resting on my shoulder. My love coats them as chocolate ice cream streams down arms and hands. We are content.

Jessica is a mum of two and a freelance copywriter who has featured on the Mamamia.com.au

Wake up Jeff, the grownups are talking.

“Gonna live while I’m alive, I’ll sleep when I’m dead” belted out the stone- wash denim loving John Bon Jovi on his Keep the Faith album in 1992. Interestingly enough the album was released 6 months before the birth of Mr Bon Jovi’s first child. I like to think that in the weeks following the new arrival he would have run his hand through his immaculately styled hair and thought back on the naivety of those lyrics. I know that personally, four and half years into this long term experiment in sleep deprivation known as parenthood, I am quite happy to sleep whether I am alive, dead or in the car at the supermarket car park.

A few months ago, at the height of my 18 month old daughter’s 18 months protest against the concept of sleep (she’s dedicated to the cause), I had the chance to catch up with some of my closest friends, all of who live out of Hobart. We were the only people there with children, so my wife and I spent the afternoon tag teaming between participating in the conversation and chasing the kids around making sure they didn’t do anything untoward like knocking over the expensive looking statuette that is inexplicably at child height, or throwing themselves (or each other) down the stairs. I must say that during my turns at talking to the grown-ups I was something of a conversational muppet.

The sleep deprivation was to the point where it was as if everything that was said took 5 seconds longer to reach my ears than everyone else’s. While they were discussing arts, politics and cracking one liners I was playing catch-up, coming up with witty remarks about 10 seconds after the topic of conversation had moved on. The few times I did attempt to contribute I found myself talking about the only thing I seem to have any real knowledge in these days – kids television. “I noticed on Sesame street that Elmo was recalling when Myles (a human character) graduated Primary School (Myles is now an adult) yet Elmo himself is a perpetual pre-schooler, isn’t that weird” This conversational gem was met with silence. My next attempt went something like “Have you ever wondered about Norman Price’s father? He’s never mentioned in Fireman Sam.”* This too was met with a quick topic change by someone else. As these were some of my closest friends, they were very forgiving of my conversational lead balloons. I’m glad it wasn’t a room full of people I had just met, who I’m sure would have thought that intellectually I was somewhere between Elvis from Fireman Sam and Pedro Pony. (Why are my only references these days from kids shows???? WHY?)

Luckily since this all occurred we have had a sleep consultant come in to help us get our littlest one to sleep better, and this has been a cracking success. The consultant arrived one morning, floating down

Tiredadventures in dadulthoodBy Richard Casey

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3 from the sky with her umbrella serenaded by morning birds. She waved her magic wand, did a couple of musical numbers and when her work was finished she opened her umbrella and was carried away by a gentle breeze to help another family in the grip of a sleeplessness. I was actually at work when she came to visit, but I’m confident my description of what happened that day is pretty accurate.

* Side Note: I have a theory about Norman Price’s father..... Let’s just say there is only one other person in Pontypandy with red hair. Think about it, this would also explain why Norman keeps getting away with his antics with little more than a slap on the wrist instead of finding himself in juvenile detention where that little delinquent belongs!

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day morning tea and balloon release

I could start this story quoting statistic after statistic (don’t worry I will do that later in this piece). However, initially I just want to explain why it is that I am organising a morning tea to commemorate pregnancy and infant loss remembrance day. I am doing this because the loss of a child is arguably the greatest loss a person could endure. Yet it is also the most lonely and isolating. I feel passionately that if we can acknowledge the depth of this loss in society we can create a better understanding for bereaved parents. People like to know statistics, ‘what are my odds?’, ‘are they in my favour?’ The problem with miscarriage rates is that most miscarriages occur before a women is 12 weeks pregnant. At times a women may not know she is pregnant until she begins to bleed. The other issue being, it is normal in Australia to not announce you are pregnant until after 12 weeks.

Because of this many parents choose not to disclose they have lost a child at all and as such their grief is very isolating.

Miscarriage Statistics are varied and are quoted as 1 in 4 or 1 in 6 (diagnosed pregnancies) to 50% (of all conceptions). In Australia there are 7 Perinatal deaths per day.

Regardless of the statistics (and boy they are high!) It is fair to say that thousands and thousands of Tasmanian mums and dads are suffering the loss of a child ranging from 5 weeks gestation to 40+. It is a silent, unforgiving, unrelentless and misunderstood grief. Initially, if a person has shared their pregnancy news with family and friends, they will receive a lot support after their loss. As the weeks, months and years pass it seems society ‘forgets’ or wants us to

forget and move on. Of course time has a way of propelling us forward regardless of whether we want to or not, but a parents who loses a child will forever have some part of them firmly planted in the day they lost their child. It is not true that time can heal all wounds and in many cases time can be a foe and not a friend.

I believe by allowing us all to remember and acknowledge all our lost children (whether that be at 5 weeks gestation or 40+ or after birth) we can move towards an inner peace that all bereaved parents are searching for and few find.

Please find below information regarding a morning tea and balloon release that I have organised for October 15th which is international Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Please see attached flyer.

EVENT: Bears of Hope Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support Inc. invite you to a Morning tea and balloon release to commemorate Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.VENUE: Waterside Pavilion, Mawsons Place. Hobart WaterfrontTIME: 11amDATE: Tuesday, 15 October 2013RSVP: tasmania@bearsofhope.org.au

It is my passion to provide Tasmanian families with support and guidance through their grief. I am doing this by coordinating the www.bearsofhope.org.au charity here in Tasmania. Please contact me with any queries.

Yours in Hope,

Maria Bond0400051252 / tasmania@bearsofhope.org.au

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Daymorning tea and balloon release By Maria Bond

At heart, I am a nerd. When I was 15 years old I learned how to speak German by watching episodes of Star Trek in German. Granted it’s not entirely practical to know how to say, “Beam me up, Scotty” in a foreign language ... I even have a T-shirt that features the catch phrase of Sheldon Cooper from the TV show Big Bang Theory, “Bazinga!” Now I have another nerd triumph under my belt, I MADE AN APP!

Surely only technological geniuses have the ability to make a mobile app! But when an add popped up in my Facebook newsfeed suggesting that I ... an average person ... could create an app, I was intrigued. I’ve been wanting to create one for HMN since the beginning. More than 70% of our site visitors do so on their mobile phone.

I went to Conduit’s website and was prompted to plug in HMN’s Facebook URL. Moments later the site had collected all the information and created an app. IN MINUTES! Crazy!

I spent the rest of the evening tweaking the app, adding features, and altering the design till it was just right. Then giddy with excitement, I sent images from the BETA version to several friends to test it out for me.

Our App went live at last month’s Girls Day Out event where we hosted a Swap Shop for women’s clothing. Since then over 300 people have installed the app on their mobiles.

I am most excited by the potential the app has to further connect other mums through sharing images on our Live Albums feature where you can share images from our events, food ideas, craft/learning ideas, places your kids love, etc. It’s our own mini-version of Pinterest ... but it’s all local Hobart mums.

I’m also keen to see businesses connect with local families through our coupon feature. And then there’s the ability to purchase tickets to our events or buy one of our Inspired Cooking books. It even links to both our Facebook page and that of The Haven’s. Sigh ... if only there were a way to get HMN Chat plugged in, it truly would be a one-stop-shop for all things Hobart Mums.

Download yours today via iTunes or Google Play for Androids. If your mobile does not comply with either app store, you can still install the app via the mobile site at www.hobartmums.net.

And Then There Was an Appfrom the DirectorBy Christine Jolly

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In Bellydance Classes, we use gentle, yet empowering movements to improve body awareness, breathing, posture, strength, flexibility and energy levels. No dance experience necessary.

Daytime & Evening classes,North Hobart & Kingston. New 8 week courses start mid-October.

$10 discount for HMN mobile app users (conditions apply).

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Mention this ad and get your first class FREE!  

For more info on classes check PEAB out on Facebook, contact 0428 106 411 or email or website.

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DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed within HMN Monthly are those of the writers only and do not reflect the views and opinions of the Hobart Mums Network.

Would you like to advertise or submit your own story? Email Christine Jolly at hobartmumsnetwork@gmail.com

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