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rN |HIS ISSUE...Letter frorn the editor

Presidentts letter

Pub crawl

Glinical revue

Glinical dinner

Glicendales

Eubject review

ll,ledsin

Real-life medicine

Book review

Horoscopes

Essential elective vocabulary

Letter from the editor

Well, this is my secofld, ard last letter to you all. Its been a year of arse-kissingpotential sponsors, and Matt Laugftame, and also ofteally, really creatively draininghard urork. Okay, skip the last bir

It has been arr wentfirl year, largely summarised in two copies of Black Bag. Theents reps have provided us with many hours of amusemeng not always at theirexpense, ald the test ofthe committee have done a great job ofkeeping theGalenicals committee ticking over All this in the face of the stressfirl "subjectteviev/'.

As an aside to all tJris nostalgia, I'd like to say "tlank God it's handover tirne". Myadvice for any buddiag committee members is "Okay, go for iq but get your headread fust!". Being on the committee ar hard wotl doing jobs that most of thestudent body don't reahse exisg and then taking the flack when the ptoverbial hitsthe fao.

However, it's also a bloody good laugh, and there's a meal thrown in at the end,rvhich is nice. Angela has done a great iob as presideng acting as figurehead forthe comrnittee, arrd geneally takirg the lead with Cleopatra like authority. As haveall the members, inclu.ling "e mail vrhiz", Mike. The bar has taken on a newidentity, we've made money for out chosen cbarity, Motivation, arrd not one of ushas been kicked out ofrnedicine. Yet.

Good luck to all the nevr committee memben. Make sure you have as good a timeas rve did. Hepatomegaly is unfornmately an occupatioralhaztxd. And finally,take care of youtselwes, and each other. . .

Anna and Li.

From the President:

Creetings. I hope this finds you allwell. lts hard to believe that my twelve

months as president are coming to an end, but here is a final note from your

soon-to-be-ex president.

The calenicals committee have been working really hard on your behalf

and I think we have achieved some important things. We put forward a proposal

to have a week of A and E incorporated into year three which has happened, we

had the sfiucture of the second clinical attachment changed (into separate

medical and surgical firms), we have protected the option for third year students

to go away on the EcTs scheme and we have represented medical students on

the issue of the controlled parking zone, improving library facilities and

handbooks, organising student representation during subject review.. ..and

generally fighting the monster that is medical education.

I owe thanks to so many people for making my time as president

easier...Gavin Dreyer is an absolute legend as are Matt Laugharn and James

Dodd. Thanks for keeping me sane! Thanks are also due to the poor souls who

have had to live with me: Joy Sanders, Sally John and Rachael Hardaker'..than k

you for your suppon and for putting up with my tantrums. Thanks to the

committee that I have been part of and who have worked so hard on your

behalf.

As I write this rehearsals for the revue se€m to be more or less

continuing around the clock....but it will all be over by the time you read this, as

will Clicendales....a pre-emptive thank you to the organisers for all their hard

work.

To finish...best of luck tonew president, Carmen. I thinkwork but quite a laugh.

the recently elected new committee and to theyou'll find the next twelve months fairly hard

Take care,

Anqela Atalla,

calenicals President, 1999 2000.

Medics ub crowl 2000

Jusf when you thought it wos safely forgotlen about, ond thot you hod guietlyslipped bock into ononymity, we bring you the photos. 5o broce yourselves, anddesperolely try to remember if you pulled cnyone that night, while yourboyfriend was tucked up in bed ot home. Then try to remember if there wos o

cchero neor by, ond stort soving for the ronsom money you'llsend us to stop us

forwording copies to your porents...

c

Double exposure-you know who you ore...

Pub crowl cont...

Oh look, o medic drinking, how gueer... Morsh-pul them down...

Some people look the pyjamo theme q little too seriously....

Pub Crowl cont...

Hod o pint hove we... wos lhis before or ofter you goi his knob out...z

And finolly, someone who doesn't suffer with brewer's droop. (Look closely)

Lordy, lord...

It's the Clinicol Revue

2000!

"Oh! whot o night" (or four) thof turned out to be, os the song in theperformance nightly declored. Yet onother exhibition of whoi con

hoppen when you gather togelher a gong of clinicol medicol students,alol of face point, o bewildered oudience ond mony, mony pints ofthe demon drink.

The revue this yeon wos ogoin on excellent example of teom spirii,orgonisofionol mostery, ond blotont olcoholism. The writerstriumphed with their rozor-shorp wit, the producers wifh theirsheer tenacity, the director with o constont supply of Red Bull, ond

fhe performers with their fronk ottention-seekin9. Nof to mentionihe fobulous bond ond stage c?ew.

Quotes from bockstoge included:

No reolly Jonny, purple is this seoson's block...

Ru, you've left some stoge point on your chin...oh, ifs reol, oh sorry...Morry me, Nicky...Chris, Chris puf the omphetominas owoy, you're meonf to be on

stage...Mikey, wheee's the block rubber dildo this f ime? Righf bend over...

So Son, just how long is ifZ No,no I meont your whip...

So here's lhe evidence fo prove whot o greot time wos hod by oll.

Enjoyl

REVUE CONT...

Chris ond Don con't sfoy off olcohol for long enough even to pzrform.

Boo-yoko-shol

REVUE CONT...

Down boys...

The wolnus of lurrve. Nice pelvic oction Rob.

REVUE CONT...

Cotmen gels oscites oftera week of posf-revue beers.

Bevis & Blooferreod "How to pull binds"

And the oudiencebreoth o sigh ofrelief-the finolel

Moff mokes himself ot home

THE CLINICAL DINNERAt the Grand(the only place that hasn't banned us-yct)

'Ihe clinical dinner was a roating success again this year, with the Rristol Medicsmanagng to produce their own vomit-slick in the Rjver Avon. Thc food was,er,top quality, and \r'orti every penny, and the drinks were, well, more thanreasonable, at a mere {ive pounds for a doublc. This didn't detcr many of ourmore seasoncd alcoholic chums, who chose to "bdng thcir own", in the fotm of a

variety ofcheap spidts picked up at Spat on thc way to the hotel. Putc gcnius...

Mike proves he officially has thc largcst hcad in lrurope, by wearing all d:e partyhats.

Chaz finds ont that wher he shuts up, girls wi// tal\< to hir'.

Clinical dinner cont. . .

(

Itob and Gav celebratc thc fact that they have both pulled. Tn the past. Oncc.

Nlore patty hats for Nfike.

S//68/YD/#lES 2000Feather dusters and whips are put away for another yearand people have stopped making jokes about me and mydancing partriers, but befote memories of Clicendales 2000

fade, let me iust say a big thank-you to everyone involved.Whethet you came along to boogie to the bandr swoon ovetsexy men, drool ovet those gorgeous gitls or were on stage

strutting your stufq you helped raise nearly {3000 fotCancer and [eukaemia In Childhood.

If you werentt there, what can I say? You missed Satahshowing how to put a whip to good use, Nav with a ttsillry

smooth" chest, Bloater in a size ten skitt (wasntt that a

trcat), Bevis (with what remained of his resistant-to-all-known-epilation- eatment shouldet hair)' Niggsy (of theamazing legs), Toby in sttategic camouflage and of coutse,

Joe showing off his bottom!

Luckily (or not), some of out antics have been captured oncamera. [,ook and laugh, although not too hard as younevet know, next yeal it could be you up there in yourpants!!

Eve Scuffil

A huge thanks go to Eve, Satah and Polly forchoteogtaphing and organising a spectacular show whichwill undoubtedly ptouide many a lonely medic with enoughwank material to last the next academic yeat. Anyway getthose tissues teady, here come the photos!

Thot's one woy to secure your house-job...

The best of Bristol beef?l

Preporing for o normol Fridoy night ot Wedgies'

Nigrgsy's legs mokeevery girl jeolous....

Thonks go to llike Whitehouse for" kindly lendinq the naledoncers o few choice items from his wordrobe..........

Off ts ride o tdsy younq bucking bronco loter.

The girls cssume the usucl Fr"idoy ni-oht.bosition for" oll -ooodfeminists..-...

"Ona tura thnee and nrrsh" tha midwife iells Fva

MedSlN UK exists to provide medical students with an objectiveunbiased understanding of health issues that face all humanity. lt alsoaims to improve the health status of local communities as an adjunct toother health services. As part of MedSlN UK, MedSlN Bristol hopes toencourage students to take an active role in the design andimplementation of humanitarian and educational projects on a local anda global scale.

Some of you may be aware of the exciting China project we now have upand running. This summer four medical students from Bristol andpossibly some from London are going out the Dapu districl in rural Chinato teach English in a small village. This continues a project started lastyear and we have high hopes for the future. Long term we hope torebuild a house (126 rooms!) in the village, making it a base for Bristolstudents and maybe even turn it into a clinic or school. The universityhas been very supportive of our endeavours with funding coming fromthe Alumni foundation and the lnternational Department and theopportunity to do Chinese as a second year SSM option.

Two of our new poects have been inspired by MedslN groups at otheruniversities. The first of these, "Easy Tige/ aims to teach safe sexeducation in local schools. The second, "Marrow", hopes to get studentsand staff to register for bone marrow donation. ln addition to this wehope to establish a committee of students who have the skills needed torun their own bone marrow screening clinics. Both of these projects needyour involvement and so if you are interested contact Sarah onmedsinbristol@hotmail.com (Easy TigeQ, or Warren onwarrengrant@ukonline.co.uk (Manow). A third project of ours is todevelop an electives database. Work is currently being done to obtain alist of contacts from all the fifth year students and this will hopefully beextended to a short obligatory questionnaire to be completed as part ofthe elective report.

MedSlN now has groups running at many of the UK med schools.Projects which have been set up include incorporation of a sign languagecourse as an SSM option, performing arts in hospitals to provideentertainment for long stay patients, working with Medical Foundation forthe Care of Victims of Torture, getting involved with projects to help the

homeless, working withfor local charities.

refugees living in the local area, and fundraising

By becoming involved with MedSlN you automatically have access toprojects run by the lnternational Federation of Medical Students'Association (IFMSA). These include working with refugees in Burma,

findsite

displaced people in the Sudan, orphans in Romania, and childreneiiected by HIV and AIDS in a number of countries io name but a few. To

out more contact Maaike on mm8086 or go direct to the IFMSA web(www. if msa. oro/proiects).

The more you become involved with a group like MedslN UK, the moreideas there are for projects which could be set up in Bristol, the more youwill hear ahelu! inrnlrino evenJ.e thzt are haaoenino 2ll ovAr the world tomake a difference to peoples'lives, and the more opportunities there arefor interesiing ways to spenct'that summer holiday some of you are stililucky enough to have. lf you want to qet involved there is a role for you toplay so contact me (Eve) on es581 1 or give me ring on 9737169, or Lisa

Ar x nFmb.r of rl. Mcdi.rl Pmtedion so.ier\! )our neels arc foFnono.r'r d . rorr',.d' rl

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lisien ro )rn and respond by dllering tlr. belp you nccd \n.n L! ned ir

How can we help 1rcu?our nud.nt sclcnc has btrn de!.loped o\tr a numb.r oaqr a.dis .onri.uallv reviend io Ftl..r rour .odncn* and sngg€nionrOur .urrenr s.hene gdrs ]ou:

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stdnt .,fd 'ariht" b ,vP.s ,a,rrJntdtuhtNboak a d jru'"al aianr L]i.uhtts ,tdgnzin.

Becoming a member\lenbersnip is free until tou qua[6: For n]or. infor.ratnrn rnd ddpplication lorm plcas..all o!r Nlcmbcr5bip HelpLin.o. 01.r1 137 L3ilall calk.harg.d at lo.al raie\r

Committed to srpporting student life\\i arc lacr pr.scDr ii rcnr (hool and often supp.n k,.rl lude.tmednal so.ieri.s.rganising imp.itant edu.rin,nal rnd so.nl c\tfFShonld vou lvnh b dis.u$ x sponr.hip opponuni$r plea$..nh.t

io todar and enlor rh. r.rs;uran.r ol belons,ng ro th. wondslcadin-q do.io^ lor do.t.r p(ne.t.n orgr.nrt.n.

MEDIcAL

M.dicil Prot..rion So.idl, a,ranrrr\\harJ H.use, L.cds LSll iP\'. Lll.

PRoTEcTIoN SocIETY

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REAL LIFE MEDICINE

You never think it will happen to you. Four years at medical school,inumerable resuscitation sessions, hundreds of episodes of casualty, but neverwill it happen to you. You sit through the simulated scenarios, ,.Help, help, mybaby's stopped breathing", or "Come quickly, I think My Dad,s having a heartattack", but it's hard to apply it to real lii'e, and if you do it's in the context of acasualty department, with the crash team just a phone call away.

Not so. Recently, I was in the car, on the M5 driving to Nottingham with myboyfriend, also a medic. It was a stunning Spring day, and life was great. Until,out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a coach parked on the hard shoulder. Nobig deal. Until I looked again, and saw a black leather-clad motor cyclists lyingon the tarmac, his bike over-rumed on the embankment.

"Oh God, there's been an accident, what do we do?". My boyfriend repeatedthe question back to me, "What do we do, what do we do?"and a second laterhad safely parked the car on the hard shoulder. "We've got to at least see if wecan help." Ils was sure that it was our duty to offer any assistance we could. Ion the other hand, was not.

Millions of thoughts travelled rhrough my mind, "We'll just be in the way","Someone else will stop who'll know what they're doing", "The ambulancewill be here soon". But I was also sprinting down the caffiageway. By now allmy head was filled with was " Oh, shit, oh shit, oh shit, mirror, signalmanoeuvre, no, shit, ABC, oh shit, what if he's already dead. . .,'

As we approached the cyclist, my heart was thumping against my chest like ahungry prisoner on the wall of his cell. Suddenly, the sky had clouded over, thenoise from the carriageway was deafening, and, in just my T-shirt, I was cold.And scared. On getting nearer I saw the man lying on the gravel, with a streamofblood pouring from the back ofhis helmet. Real blood. Lots ofit. panic. Tryto stay calm.

We arrived and introduced ourselves as medical students. The cyclist's wifewas screaming at a woman, who we later discovered was a nurse, desperatelytrying to stop her from pulling his helmet off. I stood to one side, and tried toissue instructions to my now-colleague who was kneeling by the patient."Tell people to stand back and calm down". "Has somebody called anambulance?""Is he breathing, yes, well then leave the helmet and keep his neck supported,,.

"Check pulse" "Present but weah about 50" "Pupils, both dilated" "Is that goodor bad?" "Just wait with him, keep monitoring his breathing, if it goes off beforethe ambulance arrives, we'll have to take his helmet off'.

In the meantime another woman arrives who tells us she is a doctor. She alsojust kneels by him and waits. That makes me feel better. Finally the policearrive, followed by the arnbulance, air ambulancg and ire brigade. We leamthat the rucksack he had been carrying had come off and got trapped in hiswheels, throwing him across the carriageway. His wife had been on anotherbike behind him, and had seen the whole thing. She had already lost a husbandin a bike accident. Stupid woman, is all I can think, for which I later beratemyself.

His pulse was now down to about ten, and he was unresponsive. I stood there,helpless, and watched the life draining out of him. And now all we could dowas step back, and watch the professionals take over.

I spent the rest of the joumey asking myself, had we done all we could, wouldhe survive, and if he did what would his quality of life be like? However, theone recurring question in my mind, which will probably always haunt me, is,would I have stopped if I had been on my own? The question isn't as scary as

the answer, which is probably not. Does that make me a selfish person, a

coward, or just hunan? I don't know.

All I do know is that this could happen to anyone, and that its never as simpleas your teachers tell you. And that, when it comes down to it, we're all onlyhuman.

Anna Clarke.

JamesDodd &Iackie Earl

'Multidisciplinary team','self directed leaming','vertical themes', .integrated

teaching',......whal do these have in common? Well they have all become catchphrasesamongst students, they induce a stmnge combination of boredom and nausea but I,mafraid the subject of this article is likety to produce a similar reflex, 'student fee(lback'.Whether you autonatically add it iffo your 20% scheduled non attendance, or you feelthat it is your duty to suggest that they extend the l5-hour seminar on rulny noses,feedback holds a special place in the hearts ofus all.

We have decided that it is time to come out, it is time that we explained ou$elves andrevealed the dirty secret that we have been carrying around with us for some time, yes,we thirft st:Jdent feedback h actually fairly interesting! Now bear with us, we, like youwent through similar experiences of feedback hell. You may cringe when some loudmouth in a plenary session denaDds that the shower on the fouith floor of unit 6a inTaunton wasn't 41 C or when Mr. Keeay Mckeen decides that it would be great tosuggest doubling the cou$e content to give us something to do at the weekends!

It's when you get down to the business of trying to sort out these tbedback nightmeresthat you realise the potential of the whole process. We all feel rhat sometimcs feedbackcan be collected as a matter of habit ar the expense of good or essential issues, Studentsand staff arc both guilty of playing the student feedback game without getting to the heartof the matter, plobably because to do snrdent feedback well is difficult. it takes a kx ofco[unitment and some would argue an entire chaoge in the culture towards oureducation. Fortunately most of us are comnircd to improving this process.

So what can be done to get to the truth about what's happening wirh the course? How canwe make everyone feel involved and represented? Why does the whole process make uswant to boil our heads at the end of it? It is the in these areas, especially head boiling, rhatwe have been working. Some of the answers revealed themselves to us whilst stufling ourtaces wirh hot dogs and 'Moose watching'oo a recent holiday, ooops SSM to Canada. Itseems that the Canadian rnedics had a similar problem with student tbedback but havemoved to a program of 'student led' feedback.

Having successfully half inched this idea and jiggled about wilh it ro make it our own weare cuffently trialing it here in Bristol. The p nciples behind this initiative are rhatstudent feedback should be a wortlrwhile and fulfilling process for all involved, studeftthemselves should develop the quesrions rhat ne€d addressing and highlight arcas thatmay be better dealt with in small group discussions. Fhally students should also co-ordiDate its collection ard analysis. The reaction so far has been a positive one, studentshave been morc involved and consequeody been producing higher quality feedback.Realistically not all feedback can or should be colducted in this way but it is atr extra toolat the disposal of the course organisors to find out exactly what is happening on the frontline in inedical education

Mystic medics

HOROSCOPEPISCESWith the moon in Uranus, you're likely tosuffer from a bout of piles in the future.But don't worry-a pissed up gang ofmedics will be sure to examine you oneafter another whilst on a surgical firm.

ARIESStrange things will happen to you afteryou drink ten pints of lager. You maymeet an attractive stranger, who comesto your aid as you vomit into a drain.

TAURUSImportant decisions will need to bemade very soon-Wedgies or Lizardlounge, for example. Choose wisely, o'you may end up getting piss drippingonto your head.

GEMINIMoney could be tight in the near future,as you are forced to wait for the arrivalof your grant cheque. Beansfordinneragain, then?

CANCERLove is in the air, and you may findyourself getting lucky on a night out.Venus is rising, which could mean thiswill be on a wednesday.

LEOProblems at work may mean that youwill be tempted to miss ward roundsand/or lectures. Use this time prudentlyto sleep off any hang-over from theprevious niqht.

VIRGOTravel is on the cards for you, as thewandering Pluto circles your sun. Don'tignore the travel bug, butmake the decision to visit one of thelovely hospitals in the Southwest. Or goskiing.

LIBRAAn interesting letter may arrive for you.It is likely to be from a stranger, whomake take the pseudonym of "bankmanager", and could potentially mean af15 charge, and a night in.

SCORPIOYou find yourself strangely drawntowards a new shopping experience at avenue called Sainsbury's. Do not befooled by its bright lights and breadsmells. Ten pounds does not stand achance of surviving in such a place.

SAGITTARIUSFamily disputes may get you down thismonth. Parents in particular may beespecially likely to kick off once you tellthem you have exceeded your overdraftlimit again. Saturn is in the house oftaurus, which suggests you should sackit off and get a professional studies loan.

CAPRICORNFriends may turn against you and youcould find them intolerant of your minorirritating habits. This could includevomiting in the communal sink, orurinating in non-acceptable parts of thehouse whilst hammered.

AQUARIUSYour appearance may cause you someangst this month. Do not ljsten topeople if they accuse you of beingminging. Try not to focus on the factthat you may not have known thepleasures of the flesh for quitesometime. Perhaps consider a hobby.Preferably one which allows you to stay

BOOK REVIEW:

TRUST ME (I'm c doctor)- A Consumer's guideto how the system works

By

Dr. Phil Hommond ond Michoel Mosley1999 Metro Books 89.99

This is the lotest offering from the utti-estoblishment crusader, thistirne in book fonmot. For those of you who hove not yet become

ccqucinted with him, Phil Hammond is o local 6P turned comic,leocher ofcommunication skills. whistle-blower, ofter dinner speoker ond now

outhon.

The book is divided into iwo parts: the first obout the'medicol culture',the second oimed ot ihe public with regord to heolth motters, heohhpromoiion, ond how to 9et tha best out of their doctors.

The first section offers on overwhelmingly cynical look ot medicol culturewith regord to the noture of student teoching by consultdnts (lika breedslika), medical mishaps ond misfokes, getiing jobs, student behoviour, ond

stondords of medicol ond surgicol treotments (which vory notionwide). ftis predomindntly dnecdotol in content with toles of rocisln, Sexism,

secrecy, omozing stotistics, demon doctors ond butchering surgeons. ftmokes for entertoining, sometimes shocking reoding. buf the moin

criticism thof f would moke is thot it is o wholeheortedly criticol look atthe medicol profession. This is not on enfirely true representotion ofmedicine, ond cppeors lo be structured purely to chollanga the perceived

views of the great British public. ft would be refreshing to heor some

mone optimistic views.

However, f think that three voluoble points mcy be gained from reoding

this section. The first is that for those of us who do not reollyundersfond the details of the Bristol heort scondsl, Dr. Hommond offerson infonmofive, unbiosed, chronologiccl account of the events. This isworthwhile reoding for onyone, but especiolly Bristol groduotes. Thesecond point is that Dr. Hqmmond oddresses issues which will offeci us

all in the future: occountobiliiy, self governonce cnd medio involvement in

medicine. This offers on importont iniroduction with o few onecdotes.

The final point is ihot as future doctors we musf begin to reolise, thot inthese changin9, Iitigation-conscious times, secrecy ond pnotection ofcolleogues will soon be o thing of the post. The culture of tnedicine is

changing.

f feel thot ihe finol seciion is mcinly oimed of fhe public, fl offers some

cdvice on heolth promotion ond how to ensure thqt you teceive the 6estcane, but it tends to be inflcnmotory , encouroging people nol to 5elieve

informofion given to them by doctors, ond to believe thot lhey ore 6eing

denied optimol medicotion. A point which Dr. Hqmmond, in my view foils tomoke, is fhot shortcomings in heolthcore mcy not olways be the result ofbod doctoring, but of economic shortfolls ond government. Howevet,

within this section is o worning to us oll: in this oge of technology ond theintemet, people now hove occess fo much information, and it moy not be

longbefore there is increosed demond for new ond expensive treotments.

YHA Adventure Shop,

l0/l 2 Foirfox Street,

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FOR FORTH.COMING

With so many of us due to travel to far-flung parts of the globe for electives,we thought it helpful to provide you wlth a collection of really rude insults in avariety of languages. We hope this guide will prove an lnvaluable aid if youshould find yourself having any run-ins with the locals, and aim to cover avariety of indigenous common insults(which you can then translate using yourmini{ictionary), so that no nation should be left unoffended.

*Your stinking foreskin filth"Polynesian insult.

'As flash as a rat with a gold tooth"Australian expression.

'Your arse-hole is filled with blue mud"North American Indian insult.

'Your blistered crotch"Insult from the Marquesas islands.

'I will tear your crotch apart"Iranian insult between women.

'I'll stick a pig's leg up your c**t until your back teeth rattle"Japanese insult.

'C.opulab with my father, who is dead"Admiralty island's most unpardonable insutt.

'I s**t in your mothe/s milk"Spanish insult

'I hoF that your piles hang down like a bunch of grapes"Greek irEult directed at homosoruals.

'I s**t on your father's nose"Iranian insult.

'May a fart be on your beard/s**t be on your hair"Iranian insult.

"Go to the prick's house"Cuban insult.

"May you dig up your father by moonlight and make soup of hisbones"Fiji islands curse.

"Go to your mother's c**t"Serbian insult.

"I shit on the balls of your dead ones"Spanish curse.

"May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits"Arab curse.

"May you get f**ked by a donkey! May your wife get f**ked by adonkey! May your child f{{k your wife!"Egyptian curse, 950 BC.

"Go to holy shit"Cuban insult.

And finolly, bye from us, ondcommittee - .

best of luck lo the newANNA ond LTZ xxxx