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20, Pope street,

Salt River,

Cape.

6th November, 1968.

Dearest Phyll,

Firstly, may 1 apologise for this very belated correspondence

and then enquire as to your health and that of the rest of

the family.

I also wish to thank you for the letter you wrote and give

you the assurance that 1 aim to fight for my rightfull place

in the family not only by turning my attentions to study,

but also by being a good wife to John and mother to our

children.

At the beginning 1 think it would be to adjust ourselves to

married life, with our ith in each other, the understanding

we both have 1 know we will go a long way. I aim to make

our marriage a success not because the whole world will

be looking, but because 1 love John very much~ and will spend

my entire life making him happy.

I have long since realised that he loves you and the rest of

the family very much. I don't think that he loves you all

less by loving me, 1 would be very selfish to expect him

to diminish his love you and 1 am not a selfish person.

As you no doubt are aware, the love one has for your family

is not the same type of love one has for a person one chooses

to marry.

I have given your letter carefull thought and as always

admire your frankness, I 11 take heed Phyll, your advice

1 shall value, thanks very much.

Now that summer is here atlast, the office has become quite

busy as work on the bridges and Dams which the firm specialises

can go forth. It is pretty dangerous to do this type of work

when 'the climate is like it has been these last few months.

The change of weather gives us all more work and 1 am very

pleased about this, sitting around doing nothing in the office

in'

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can be very depressing.

At home there is much to be done as mother works and

we have to do our @wn washing and ironing also the

polishing and cooking.

It is very difficult to get someone to do ones work in

Cape Town so its a real luxury to have a maid here.

To get someone to do your house and washing for you,

atleast R20 is expected. I think this is because the

factory workers are very well paid. They earn almost twice

the amount here than in Natal. A women with your experience

considering the circumstances would get up to R180-00 per

month even more.

Job reservation does not seem to affect the people here so

much as in Natal, every big Company has white and Non-white

employees on their staff with very little difference in salary ,

if any.

I seem to be getting away from the point, in the beginning,

believe me Phyll, 1 lt so darn listless,that combing my

hair was an effort. I feel worlds better now,probably

just a passing stage. I am now looking forward to the

baby's arrival. I have done lots of knitting, 1 only hope

it will not be too hot as 1 don't really know what sort of

garments babies wear in Durban.

I have bought Nighties and Matinee jackets made of Dacron

and others made of linen which 1 think will be suitable.

I would appreciate it very much if you could advise me on this

score. as 1 don't want to buy things that would not suit the

climate. I havent knitted any baby socks as 1 don't really

care to see such small little mites in socks. I have knitted

a shawl which 1 know will come in handy its been a big job

but looks really lovely.

How is Sukthi, still as lively as ever? 1 would love seeing

her again and the boys. "

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Do write and let me know about those baby things

until 1 hear from you. my love to you and the

children, not forgetting A.J., 1 am patiently

waiting for him 1 think 1 shall burst if he does

not come soon.

Yours sincerely,

, . C (it·,

P.S. Just have a little faith in me please.

, ,,"

II

27 Me.{rick Avenue,

DUPJ3.dN.

Nov. 16th, 1970.

Dear Phylliu,

You certainly have a pack of trcu-oles to contend with. I io hope your sons

are .!c;ttiYl..! better ae;ain, ami that ",hen the t~llle comes for the tOll€ila to come out,

h~ ;;rill not be fri~h ened., but rill i.,akt; 1. ,;001 an:! zpe recover)'_ It raus t

:,e lireaclful to SEe JOur once active anJ. intelli~ent father a sl~eecl:less an..i l.elpl~8s

invalid.. No -;ron;;'er you feel sore and. frustra.ted, realy to or:y out ac.:ainst th

unfairness of it all.

Now onlt want to _et involvel in ar~ment aN:.ut thL:. For t.}~oJe of' us

who be lieve il1 the ell." tence of a. God of ::oodness an.... love, the exi£: tenc'£: of pain

nd. sufferinfj, poze fl'ol)lemH wh.ich. a re not ea3.y to anS\-l.;:r. I believe there iB ~

ansgar, but not the kin of slick, u1i b a:l8Wt:r .i' ou C&_n ~.i V't. to a i'GrSOn in (!.e~1

trouble Have :vou rt:::... • . .lan Paton I s book "Instru.m~nt of Thy Pe'ice?" Be wrote it

w~ule Dorri a was seriously ill; Jr..no,l'1n", that she ,-iOulli (Let Yore~ FIn at better.

It is baaei Oll a very beaut ifLl _r a;, er of t. Franci3, who love~ Gol, his fellow

men, the biras ana ani~ale, ana all creation; a-ho cho::>e a lii\) of p"verty·

a.:w.d. j-et enjoYed lii~e !!lOrE fully than most of us manz_e to J.o. If ~ ou havend: t a. '::01-'

I can len.i you minCe It is not a. pmlosCiphical ar~ument; but it tells where

.dl""n foun.i .;;; tren~ th and ltl:llJ to ca.rr;} Lim throu. a vcry Qiffioult time.

But there is one thin~, I lo want: to Gay, a tuat is, please don't let this

eulinr.. of sorenesfI ieptroy your peace and a:11 to Jour already heavy bUXae!1l>.

I am sorr .y that Y0l... .i fn. ther I s belief In :rayer lreventE;,i hi:;} from seekin(; medical

help a.t a tilJe l~LeL. th~ lac tors 'Ili",ht h~vtl b.een b!st able to help him. Nevertne

le;,'3, fro!': ~ha.t .Jot;. tall ree, thou[):•. ue oan no lon",er speak, he Ca.;:) unier;:;t.a.n.i

-,1.Ll:i t is ,-,ai~ to him, fUl was 8.h10 to exyre;::s his love foI. you, s ud his balief

in the pOW",J:' of rr:~y6r, b the sJ"-l:Ibolic z.ction of CUl'l)in~ h~.! haniF' ill p ra:;-3r.

In spit~ of his disabilitieo, _e still f inds 8tren~th and aUPlort in tJi~ beli8f.

Shoul d. you not boa thankful that now, ".-hen he ._leeds it moet, he still h-=t3 thi~ •

ciUlJ:f,Ort? I c a n un-9rstdr.d . oii it haneuoi tnat YOUl' visit to him ~€:t him. You

1'",1t hi helr.lescness, -ou rt:H~ted the "bIer that he.d .fallon BO ltnfairly ; - aB it ~

seef!H.;GL t.o :vo'.!; you conv.ejei ;yourdi3tre0S and frustrction t o him; int!' thin!:s

WOr se fer -lim. But ... f nBzt 'tir.e .Iou ~o , ;you trj' to ,0 in a more pOsl.tive spirtt;

,iet.erm->-ll.:;l to ,us.re ,dtl hl.m, not Jot'r lia treas, but your lov il. !affer-tio'1 for

im; could ~G4 not to !Us har.r.i!le.:c" ]- oinf!? Brain l.njuri&3 cl.l'el ... ear thi~

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http:DUPJ3.dN

Ond doe$ not knO'i'T fo r SHrt: l:J.C'IJ much will be restoreri '1 fu the .!'~,:;ain~ of ti ,1

I visited a centlBman in our ohurch rE cc-ntl;y,