20 photo sessions that should have never happened

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20 Photo Sessions That Should Have NeverHappenedMay 13, 2009 by Brotha Jonze

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Comments (23)

Hello there! If you are new here, you might want to subscribe to the Banned InHollywood RSS feed for updates.

When life gives you lemons, dress in matching outfits, head on down to the local photographer, get yourfamily portrait taken, and post your family portrait on the internet so that I can compile anotherinstallment of 20 Photo Sessions That Should Have Never Happened.

Until you do, enjoy these 20 Photo Sessions That Should Have Never Happened .

**Update**

We have just been informed that many of these photos originated at AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com Wedlike to say thanks for creating our new favorite website .

20. Frodo & Co.

hoto Sessions That Should Have Never Happened http://www.bannedinhollywood.com/20-photo-sessions-that-should-hav ...

17 02.06.2009 05:53
http://www.bannedinhollywood.com/20-photo-sessions-that-should-havhttp://www.bannedinhollywood.com/20-photo-sessions-that-should-hav


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The baby is the only one who realizes how completely gay dressing up as Lord of the Rings characters forthe family Christmas photo is.

A hundred bucks says he grows up to be one of those trench-coat wearing types who kills their family and this little guy, at age 17, will follow through with the stereotype unless big frodobro in the back beats him to it.

19. Chicks, sit on the floor, were the D-Bags


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Nothing says douchebag like seven douchebags being douchebags Then they had to go and flex theirmuscles.

Is that a young Michael Phelps on the far left?

18. Duct tape Ameritux

Points for being patriotic, but what the fuck is going on here? Are two photographers taking pictures in the


17 02.06.2009 05:53


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studio at the same time and the couple couldnt decide which camera to look at?

Oh, wait, these two cant afford studio time When I said two photographers I meant, his mom andher mom .

17. She wears the pants, he wears the baby pink bunny ears

I cant figure out if the person standing middle back is a boy or a girl possibly the familys maid?

I see the mom wears black bunny ears and the father and son standing on the left both wear baby-pink


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ears. The fact that the person standing in the back also wears baby-pink bunny ears leads me to believethis is in fact a boy because wearing baby-pink bunny ears makes you a man at least in this family.

Though, no one is getting laid any time soon so I guess it doesnt really matter.

16. Fewer words mean more

So Ill let the photo speak for its subject.

15. Awkward hand pat

I cant decide what is more awkward, that a) he doesnt want to passionately embrace the chick becausehell have to grab onto her jolly jelly rolls, or b) that she cannot sit comfortaby in his lap because hisstomach is in the way.

Next time, take the picture standing up And maybe not wear the zip-up-collared-athletic-wear thatclearly hasnt been getting very much use.


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14. Wat?

Whats with the shoes above the heads and the zebra-print 3/4 sleeve jacket and the astroturf floor

and all the crap going on in the background and the wait a sec, if you take her out of that hot pink dog house, shes kinda cute

13. Just look at the camera, buddy


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Cmon Mario, you got this buddy, front and center.

OK, good, much better

Now smile, annnnnnnd say cheeeeee

*Wonnk* (the sound of his eyes crossing)Dammit Mario, look at the camera

*he looks up cross eyed at the camera-man*


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Ah, fuck it.

*click*

12. A penguin, really?

You can get away with the little grey stuffed animal on the left, people will still think youre kind of strange, but no stranger than you already look.

Now, if you get overzealous and throw in the massive stuffed penguin that takes up about as much screen

space as your kids, people start asking questions.

11. Whinnie the really ghetto black guy

When you reach into his jar of honey he shoots you in the face and steals your shoes.


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10. Shoulda left the kids at home

No ones putting this up on their fridge, except maybe me.

9. Soap Oprah focus


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Nothing says classy like a naked, pregnant, tattooed, bleach tipped, earing wearing, subtle ass-grab in frontof a mystical matte-painting, through a soft focus lens.

8. Just hangin with Mom and Dads


f 17 02.06.2009 05:53


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Hey Mom.Hi Stevie.

Hey Dad.

Hi Steve.

Phil.

Steve, you know, you can call me Dad too you know

FML.

7. The Pensive Ginger


f 17 02.06.2009 05:53


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The little matchstick in the middle got it bad.

6. Twister with no mat?


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Dad makes the whole family twisterfuck just so he can say he was in four states at the same time, which isanother way of saying, check out these triceps, pussy .

5. Bet you can guess whos idea this was

If you guessed the guy wearing the Canadian Tuxedo (all of them?) sucking on some persian chick-stache, youre wrong.

If you guessed the kid sitting on the windowsill that has his leg up to hide the fact that he has a hard on,you are correct.

4. When it comes to Mom, hand placement is key


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Nuff said.

3. I thought you said you had a son?


f 17 02.06.2009 05:53


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Uh, that is my son, stupid.

Oh.

2. Nothing about this is OK


f 17 02.06.2009 05:53


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Once the little girl starts playing with dads faux junk they might as well be naked, because explicitpedo-incest, I assume, is much less disturbing than seeing pedo-incest and then realizing its only fauxpedo-incest that looks identical to real pedo-incest mindfuck.

1. Family Tree


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This is what happens after Ted Haggard does some crystal meth and has sex with someone in your familytree.

Nothing says happy holidays like the denim-clad Goldsteins vertical-spooning one another and nuttingthemselves on the tree branch in the backyard.

And Liftoff!


20 photo sessions that should have never happened

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