2-the virtuous whore

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The Panhandlers Paradox - Chapter Two

The Whore With A Heart of Gold

Sharon is a physicist.

The old joke about physicists asks, How many physicists does it take to screw in alight bulb? The answer? Only one, but thirty seven applied for the job.

Sharon was fortunate. She found a job screwing in light bulbs at a national laboratory.

Heres what a physicist like Sharon does these days at a national laboratory:

Her first responsibility is to figure out how to get associated with a funded project. Thismight mean finding one thats already funded and attaching herself to that effort. But

often, it means creating a proposal for funding before ever getting down to real work.

Next, her project, once funded, will demand frequent sponsor briefings: to echo thepurpose, to reinforce support, and to feed the auditors. These projects demand thatSharon spend about one week each month preparing for briefings, one week in transitbetween her office and the briefing location (where the status update will be reviewedby many people, most of whom are so disconnected from the effort that they will rush

into her Powerpoint presentation without ever reviewing the briefing packetdistributed the week before, and ask absurd, often malevolent questions intendedmore to assert authority than provide useful insight), one week recovering from the

briefing trip and incorporating the briefing input, and, when fortunate, a week toactually work on science making some progress toward the objective.

That one week in four where Sharon will actually be screwing in light bulbs will, ofcourse, be hobbled by the usual human intrigues: politics, disagreements both pettyand significant, emergency requests from the sponsor, and the usual absolutelyessential, non-value added administrative interruptions: emails, phone calls, andteam-coordination meetings.

A few times each year, surprises come up at the sponsor briefing. Sometimes Sharonmust call some her team to the briefing site to respond. This usually means a couple of

late-night or all-night sessions, where she and her team members feverishly craft anew plan for approval before returning to the lab. Then, that one week in four whereprogress actually gets made is spent recrafting team assignments and trying to figureout exactly how to proceed. This often takes more than the week to accomplish, so thesubsequent status report is more aspiration than actual fact. Shell tap-dance throughthat next briefing.

Sharon works for a big machine which seems indifferent to the science she dedicated


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her career, her life to pursue. That she is able to deliver world-class breakthroughs isremarkable. That she often questions the value of her contribution, not surprising.

When she appeared for our first lunch meeting, she seemed stooped, as if carrying agreat burden. After a half hour of quiet conversation, tears drizzled from her eyes, as if

to acknowledge the untenability of her position. Having realized her dream, employedas one of the one-in-thirty-seven Ph.D. physicists lucky enough to land a job actuallydoing physics, she is painfully aware that her job often amounts to little more thanscrewing in light bulbs that cast very little visible light.

Yet she persists. She gets up in the morning, sees her daughter off to school, makesthe commute, and submits, once again, to the security checkpoint which reminds herof her employers unending suspicion of her.

Its too easy to conclude that Sharon continues this mad ballet for a paycheck and thepromise of a secure retirement, but she contributes more of herself to her work than

any paycheck could ever compensate for.

Shes not much of a politician. Shes been passed over for several distantly promisedpromotions. She doesnt brown-nose very effectively or gladly suffer politicalfoolishness. The politically connected, the conniving confabulators who manage thelab, were scientists before they earned their MBAs. They treat their employees as ifthey were gifted but poorly-socialized children.

Much of the great work that actually gets accomplished inside organizations todayoccurs in just such complicating contexts. Hundreds of best-selling business bookshave touted collaboration, community, and shared commitment, but few companies

practice what these noted authors preach.

They rely, instead, upon the Virtuous Whores within them to produce results whilehampering their every move. Most are rather like Sharon. Not naturally assertive. Notpolitical players. Much of what they manage to accomplish, they slip under the radar,security fence, and auditors nose. They make their projects and their organizationswork in spite of, not to spite, their organizations many, conflicting layers ofmanagement.

These whores sometimes get caught violating some conflicting commandment,working around some sponsors requirement. They nudge their effort slightly off the

expected course. In science as well as in business, divergences from the expectedcourse are how real progress gets made. The overseers want to know why, they wantthe whore to justify before investigating the unexpected meander. When caught, shecan create some plausible fiction for the presumed mistake. Shes learning not to takethese intrusions personally. Its just business, just bullshit. She shovels herself someatonement and proceeds.

Whether it has to be this way or not is beside any useful point. This is the way it is.


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Some would counsel Sharon to educate her management to the realities of laboratorylife, but they already know. They feel no more powerful within this system where theyseem to possess so much power than the lowliest virtuous whore. For they are whores,too, perhaps virtuous in their own ways.

No revolution is coming. There is no insurrection seething to change the way it is onthe horizon. Some will retire early. Some will move on to private industry or anotherlaboratory only to find the situation little changed there. A few will start their ownbusinesses and find that theyve merely change the location of their anguish and their

joy.

Perhaps its not about the field we play on. Or the game we play. Or the role we playwhen we play that game. But about our being who we are. Sharon is a physicist. Shewould be embodying her inquiring mind even if she was foaming lattes for a living.She wouldnt be able to help being herself, even if that made her seem the ultimateschlemeil. No one can take advantage of her as long as she remains clear about who

she is in the world.

The thirty six other physicists who are not employed screwing in light bulbs at aprestigious national laboratory might seem unfortunate. As if theyd wasted theireducation. And some might feel as though they have wasted their energy, fallen short.Ive re-learned this lesson several times in my life. First, when I decided that I couldntsurvive as a musician. After Id packed away my guitar, people would lament for me,saying what a shame it was that I couldnt make my living making music. But I felt noshame once I realized that whatever work I did, I could engage with the same passionthat I had once reserved for my music. Its just a different shaped guitar, I would tellmy disappointed fans, then proceed to passionately engage in whatever work I did.

I think this is a lesson worth learning over and over and over again. If its true that thetypical person will have not one, but multiple careers in their lifetime, we must developthe ability to avoid mistaking the medium within which we exude our passion for thepassion itself. Its always just a different shaped guitar. No master guitar player wouldever complain about the shape of their guitar.

I have a friend who graduated from Julliard. A musical savant, her first career was as aconcert pianist. Later, she attended culinary school, but dropped out to work in aprestigious New York restaurant. Later, without a degree and with far too little practicalexperience, she talked herself into another, even more prestigious restaurant as the

dessert chef. Later still, she married an electronics executive and became a kept wifein Silicon Valley. When her husband abandoned her, she started a catering businesswhich served her friends. She was often called out of the kitchen and invited to performat the piano at the dinner parties she catered. No one who watched her perform in thekitchen or at the piano would call her anything but a remarkable artist.

We each whore ourselves to survive. Whether we have hearts of gold will always bethe real issue. The virtuous whore retains that golden sense of herself no matter what


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the world requires her to do. Whether she screws in light bulbs, creates new science,caters gourmet meals, or just slings hash makes no difference to the world. Whatmatters is that she is present and persistent, performing her beautiful music,personifying golden virtue no matter whos company she keeps.

2010 by David A. Schmaltz - All Rights Reserved

2-the virtuous whore

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