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2 Let us control our emotions in good spirit

On different occasions in our life we have to face different experiences. Onsuch occasions various feelings are generated in our minds. We act on certain feel-ings and even respond to them. These responses may sometimes be unsuitable andimproper. Hence it is extremely important that we identify the various feelings oremotions that crop up in our day-to-day life, control them and express them insuitable manner. Further, we might at times have to face certain incidents that disturbour mind. In such a situation our mind gets confused and on account of it our feelingswill be hurt. Therefore, we must make it a point to identify the emotions that occur inour minds as well as the mental stresses we experience, and control them in afavourable manner. By studying this lesson, you will be able to identify the variousemotions and mental stresses you experience in your day-to-day life, to learn howto respond to them meaningfully, and to act accordingly.

Look at the following figures. Can you identify the feelings expressed by thefaces depicted in these faces?

Fig 2.1 - Faces that depict diverse sentiments^5&^4&

^2& ^3&^1&

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You will notice from the faces depicted in these figures, the nature of the variousthoughts that come up in our minds. Such varying sentiments would have occurred inyour mind too, in different situations at different times. If we do not properly controlthe various sentiments that spring in our minds, they will react quickly and bring aboutharmful responses. For example, when we are angry, if we do not control this angerproperly we will have to react quickly to this disturbed feeling. You may have heard ofincidents of being abused and assaulted, as well as causing damage to furniture andother household items, and even the murder of others when a person is enraged.Recollect an instance where you were enraged. Recollect how you behaved in thatsituation. Were you able to control your feelings then? How did you react to thesituation? When you are angry how do you control that feeling appropiately? We mustthink about these matters.

2.1 Let us identify the various emotions and the various behaviour patterns resulting from them.

The above are our physical reactions to the emotions that spring in our minds.These reactions are expressed externally while some reactions occur within, which arenot revealed. Some such reactions are speedy blood circulation and release of

trembling of lips and limbs;face flushes;movement of muscles in face;stammering, scowling.

sighing, tearing, wailing, shouting, pale face,beating of chest

widening eyes, shouting, trembling of limbs,running away, difficulty in talking,stammering

laughing, dancing, jumping, cheering,shouting

Physical reactionsFeeling/emotion

Anger

Sadness

Fear

Joy


hormones. As normal human beings sometimes we find it difficult to bear up ouremotions. Yet, what we should identify specifically is facing different emotions in ourday-to-day life, and when responding to them we show suitable, meaningful andeffective responses.

Example 1

Miss Amali, the teacher in charge of Grade 8 asked the class a question that day:" What do you feel when a sense of anger (or rage) occurs in your mind? " She wroteon the blackboard the various answers given by the pupils:

� I feel like scolding;� I feel like beating;� I feel like shouting and dashing my feet;� I feel like shouting and crying;� Keeping quiet;� I feel like making a loud noise;� Avoiding food the whole day.

Observing these responses, the teacher presented a conclusion thus: "Whenresponding to emotions, every individual displays a different type of behaviour.We should control these emotions and get used to adjusting ourselves to suit thesituation."

Activity 1Copy down the following chart in your exercise book. Write against each of thefollowing emotions, how individuals normally respond to them. Write in the nextcolumn the possible results of such responses. One example is provided foryou.


Activity IICleaning up the classroom in Grade 8A had been assigned to groups of pupils

on all five days of the week. On Monday the cleaning task was assigned to Malika,Tharaka and Pradeepa. When Malika arrived in the class late that day Tharakawas sweeping the classroom and Pradeepa was absent that day. As Tharaka sawMalika enter the classroom quitely, she said:

Tharaka: (In a rage) You never come to sweep the classroom. TodayPradeepa is also absent. Remove this heap of litter.

Emotion/Sentiment

Responses Results of the responses

Sadness

Happiness

Fear

cryingrefusing foodremaining silent/quietnot doing anythingdiscussing it with another

Coyness(shyness)


Malika: (Smiling) You have done the sweeping. So, you can throw awaythe heap of litter too, yourself!

Tharaka: (Insulting vehemently) I am telling you, do it immediately. Here isthe broom. (So saying, she throw the broom forcefully at Malika)

The broomstick stuck Malika's eye causing an injury.

Read the above incident carefully. Present your ideas under the following points.

� Cause for Tharaka's rage and itsresults.

� How Malika behaved.� How you would react if you were a

friend of both Malika and Tharaka.

Now we are aware, that as human beings,we experience emotions in varying degrees. Theemotions that occur in us in our childhoodchange later as we grow older. Moreover, theway they are expressed too differ. A small childoften shows emotional sentiments. The numberof times a small child expresses his emotions ismore than a grown up person's. It is the nature

of a small child, to cry for a moment and then change over to laughter the nextmoment. How certain emotions are expressed differ from person to person and fromsociety to society. Such differences are caused by factors such as social environment,and education. The widely used medium to express our emotions is sound or noise.In a situation of joy we react by breaking into laughter making a loud noise, in pain wemurmur and in grief we cry loud.

Fig 2.2


2.2 Results of emotions

See the above extracts of reports. They are the results of the inability to controlthe emotions of shame and grief meaningfully . How should we think and act in such asituation?

Merely because you failed an examination, you have not lost your entire career.You should not feel ashamed. You can prepare better for the examination once again.There are hardly any individuals in the world who achieved all their aims in the firstattempt itself. We do hear and see numerous reports of persons who reached theirgoals with courage in face of obstacles and hardship, with firm determination. Hence,merely because we feel ashamed we should not be discouraged. You may considerother things you can do when you have failed an examination. You can think of thealternative courses of action by which you can respond to that emotion, such asappearing for the examination again after better preparation, otherwise following avocational training course, or even exploring the possibility of starting aself-employment venture, thus selecting the most appropriate avenue and actingaccordingly. You must also consider in particular, the result you may obtain through it.

When emotions are activated in our mind, various reactions take place within ourbody too. Since blood circulation rises during impulsive situations, our body is flushed.It is on account of this that our face turns red when we are ashamed or enraged.Owing to the release of various types of hormones various changes occur within ourbody. It has now been revealed that this type of situation is physically harmful.

It has been discovered that those who are subject to emotions constantly arenot only succeptible to complaints such as high blood pressure and asthma,but also frequently fall sick due to decline in the immunity of the body.

The pupil who feltashamed after failing

the examinationthinks of giving up

studies

The farmer set fire tohis harvest struck by

grief over his inabilityto sell the harvest


2.3 Let us express our emotions positively

By now we have realized that emotions occur in life and that they cannot beavoided. Hence we must control effectively the emotions that spring in us.

Read the above news extracts. They are two instances of expressing the emotionsthat spring in the mind, in a wholesome manner. It is clear from the donation of a houseto a homeless person, in memory of one's deceased mother that we can express ouremotions in a wholesome way. You may have heard of the world famous monumentTaj Mahal in India. This monument, considered as one of the seven wonders of theworld, was also erected as expression of sorrow over the departed. Emperor ShahJahan expressed his sorrow over the death of his beloved queen Mumtaz Mahal bybestowing to the world a unique creation. How honorable is it to perform somethingmeaningful instead of spending time on the occasion of a sad experience by sheddingtears, wailing and sighing. Do you not feel that you too can do something meaningful ina similar situation in your life? You can attempt to compose a verse or write a shortstory or do a drawing at a time when you areworried and sad. You can even listen to asweet piece of music in such a situation. Whenyou are enraged, without sticking to aparticular place until your rage becomesacute, leaving that place and avoiding thescene will bring you solace. How light willyour mind be when you go to a place that willcalm your mind, a calm place with ample

Fig 2.5 - Taj Mahal

Fig 2.3 - A person who built a house anddonated it in memory of his dead mother

Fig 2.4 - Gifts to the children's homecelebrating a birthday


vegetation around a park, flower garden or to a waterfall, brook or stream ? You willfeel for yourself how your rage subsides. The blue sky with scattered clouds, the nightsky full of twinkling stars, the moonlit night, the trees and creepers that tremble underthe gentle breeze - all these things bring tranquility to your disturbed mind. Hence it isimportant that you go to a place which will settle your mind, whenever you aredisturbed by impulses.

Similarly, you may have had experiences when you were elated and jubilant. Yourbirthday celebrations, an occasion when you had a brilliant success at an examination,when you had won a competition - all these events would have brought you immensejoy. In such situations when you experienced emotional sentiments, you can undertakea meaningful task than spending money on parties. One of the examples mentionedabove narrates an incident where the money set apart for birthday parties has beenused to donate gifts to a Children's Home. When the children in that Home werelaughing happily after receiving the gifts, how happy would you be? Hence, always tryyour best, whenever possible, to respond to your emotions in a wholesome manner.

Apart from the above, you can engage yourself in exercises that calm down yourmind. Try to concentrate your mind on one object alone. Think of your environmentwalking quietly or sitting relaxed and comfortably. Think of the sounds you hear in theenvironment. See whether you can identify them. Or else, think of your body. Picturein your mind, the body from top to bottom(head to feet). Concentrate only on oneobject. You will feel that your emotions subside gradually. When you experience afeeling of anger you stop all other activities and start counting from 01 to 10. Countfrom 10 to 01 in reverse order. Try to control your emotions always in a balancedmanner. Most differences of opinion and conflicts in the world occur when emotionsare not controlled properly. Clashes and misunderstandings between individuals, damageto property, loss of life and many such disasters have occurred due to the uncontrolled

Fig 2.6 - Beauty of nature tranquilizes your mind


release of emotions. You too may be concerned always about the emotions that comeup in your mind. Do not react immediately to your impulses. During impulses react ina balanced manner. This will not only bring solace to your mind, but you will also be apleasant individual among others. You will be well recognized, and be subject to therespect, affection and esteem of others.

2.4 Simple mental strains

During our lifetime all of us have to face mental confusions. If something does nothappen in the way we expected, we experience mental unrest or shock. Sometimesthis feeling expresses itself within our body too. Such expressions are shivering, throatturning dry, talking haltingly, and disturbed flow of words. The condition of strain thatoccurs in this manner in our minds, is called mental stress. Every living being has toexperience mental stresses and also bear them up. For example when we hear of thedeath of a very close person or we face a vast financial loss, we will experience a stateof severe confusion and it might result in an impulsive situation. The responses thatoccur in ourselves due to mental stress can often devolop into violence.

We experience most of the incidents that cause mental stress in relation to thesurrounding in which we live. These are determined by our experiences mostly athome, in school, place of work, worksite and on the way. The mental stress thatoccurs in different individuals on account of the same incident too may differ. For

Activity III

� Discuss with your classmates the possibility of harmful emotionsspringing up in your mind. Make a resolution to control theunwholesome emotions that occur among yourselves. Maintain it,without disruption.

� Now you have an idea about identifying your emotions and directingthem for your own welfare. Discuss with your classmates what thepossible changes that may occur within your classroom are if all of youput into practice the knowledge you have gained so far.


example, on a day of continuous rain, mental stress can occur in a day-to-day laboureror a small scale trader. Various questions such as

" Will I be able to earn my day's income ?"" Will I be able to purchase household requirements today?"" Will the children have to starve ?" will occur in his mind due to the rain.

However, there may not occur such a mental stress in an Executive Officer handlingfiles in an office room, on account of rain. The mental disturbance that occurs in a childwho travels to school by public transport is greater than that of a child who travels toschool by private transport. You too may have experienced such mentalinconveniences. In such a situation what type of thoughts sprang in you? Read thefollowing example and the diagram.

Tharindu is a pupil in Grade 8. He is lazy to get up in the morning at the time he hasto wake up to get ready for school. One day he woke up very late. Accordingly hespent that day in the following manner.

Arriving late atschool

Forgetting to carry theMathematics book toschool

Sleeping till late Waking up in a hurry Slipped when he went towash his face

Skipping breakfast

Missing the busSpending the wholeday in sad mood


See the incidents Tharindu experienced that day. He had to spend the whole daysad and under stress. On account of his mental disturbances, he slipped near the well,had to skip his breakfast, missed the bus, and forgot to carry the Mathematics bookto school. You too may have had similar experiences. Most mental stresses spring inour minds due to our carelessness. Due to our waking up late, as school children, weare disturbed over the delay that occurs throughout. When working with an unsettledmind, we are liable to be subjected to accidents and forgetfulness. Due to mentaldisturbance, even essential matters are forgotten. Hence, by working according to aplan, most mental stresses can be reduced.

2.5 Methods of effective control of mental stress

Now we are aware that man has to face various states of mental strain not only athome, in school, office and worksite but also in buses, trains and even on the way.Generally, the mental stress we experience differs due to the nature of each incident.For instance when a member of the household falls seriously ill the stress weexperience is great. Similarly people experience mental stress on account of naturaldisasters such as floods, earthquakes and tidal waves (Tsunami).

In certain instances with mental stress a type of strength is activated within thebody leading to an increase of the tasks performed. Merely due to the unsettled stateof mind when the examination approaches, we somehow prepare for it. Although weprepare for it effectively by recollecting what we learnt and discussing questionpapers, if this situation continues our efficiency might decrease again. In a situationwhen mental stress continues, we may get headaches, insomnia, loss of appetite, whichmight lead to a risk of heart conditions.

Medical opinion is that continuous negligence of simple mental stress maycause mental disturbances such as fatigue, loneliness and discontent.

Activity IV

As mentioned in the above example, if you were Tharindu, state your opinion onhow you can minimise the mental stresses you experienced that day.


Mental stresses are matters associated with man'sday-to-day life. In the olden days the farmer who wasengaged in watch-hut vigil, got over the mental fatiguecaused by breaking rest at night by reciting watch-hutverses. See the following verse:

Lassana himavate mavee pesenneDuk dena ali atun panna harinneRekmena deviyane vela bath budinneDuppat kama nisai api pal rakinne

(Paraphrase : mavee grows in the beautiful land.Wild elephants who come to distroy the crop are scaredaway. We enjoy the paddy from the field with God's grace. We keep vigil from thewatch hut since we are poor).

The farmers sought relief from bitter cold, drowsiness, darkness, loneliness andfatigue by reciting aloud such verses as the above. In the same manner barge versesand bullock verses too have developed.

They recited barge verses to express theconfusion that occurs when rowing boats andbarges in rivers full of water, and in canals.

Matara gange inna kimbulige patiyaTalla sudui belle gomara katiyaYana ena oru paru navatha gena hitiyaMini nokai Matara kimbulige patiya

(Paraphrase: The young one of the crocodile ofMatara river, has a white patch on his chin. He haltedthe boats and barges that rowed up and down. Theyoung one of the crocodile of Matara river does notbite)

Reading the above verses we notice how ourforefathers effectively controlled their mental strain.You of the present generation too can resort to suchdevices to get relief from distress. You can resort tocalming acts such as singing a song or reciting a verse

aloud, reading books or magazines that will provide entertainment, engaging in somecreative activity, and appreciating your own creations.

Fig 2.8

Fig 2.7

Fig 2.9


Similarly, by engaging in activities suchas drawing, playing and swimming, youcan control your mental stress fruitfully.Engaging in religious activities and ritualstoo is an effective treat for your disturbedmind. How refreshing it is when the leavesof Bo-tree of the temple tremble! Themind is relaxed when listening to thestanzas chanted at a Bodhi Pooja, andwhen engaged in cleaning up the temple

compound. Hymns sung in the temple and the Thevaram recited in the Kovil consoleyour mind. If possible, it is better to engage in simple meditation.

Training yourself to work according to a timeschedule too is a method of minimising mentalstrain. Unnecessary disturbances do not occurwhen one works according to a plan and in anappropriate way. This saves time. There will beno omissions or commissions. All your work willbe performed methodically, expressly, and ontime. Furthermore, prior preparation too isimportant. On an occasion as when preparing foran examination or participating in a sports meet,since there is prior preparation, they can be facedwith a settled mind and with confidence.

It is also not proper to do several jobs at thesame time. Get a break within the job or betweenjobs. For example it is a mental strain to beengaged in lessons continuously. Get a break in between and engage in a free activitysuch as singing a song, walking, or enjoying the environment.

Planning work is also important. Allocate the day's activities with time asdevoting the morning hours to studies and the evening to play. Successful results canbe achieved by working according to the advice of others, particularly, teachers andelders. This will minimise mental strains. Resolve to do every activity you do, correctly

Fig 2.10Meditation tranquilises the mind

Fig 2.11Mental stresses are

minimised when working according to a time schedule


and methodically. You can achieve success by avoiding doing what is inappropriateand what leads to regret or remorse. Become victorious through success, and rejoicein it. Then you will not experience stress that disturbs your mind.

2.6 Controlling simple mental strain effectively

By now you have studied properly, how mental strain springs in us, and abouthow to control that strain effectively. What you should do finally is to follow the abovemethods of controlling mental strain, effectively. The activities in your life will followautomatically through methods such as prior preparation, working according to a timeschedule, getting the assistance and instructions of others and developingself-confidence. This will facilitate the achievement of your life's ambitions. You willbecome a person with a balanced personality and not subject to emotions or impulses.Simple behavioural patterns, smiling pleasant facial expressions, and attractive waysof speech will develop in you automatically. You will become a person who will nothurt others' feelings. You will be able to maintain human relationships co-operativelyand peacefully with the other members of society and you will be blessed with the

Activity VSudhira, a Grade 8 pupil established a record at a national level race, andon account of this, he was invited for a press conference. At this conferenceone reporter asked him this question: "Did you feel any fear ornervousness before the race started? How did you face it?"

Sudhira answered thus:" Before the commencement of the race I thought whether I would be

able to win or would I collapse on the way. Would the others push me? I feltas if my legs were shivering. However, since I did my practice properly,since I followed the instructions of my coach and since I held the view thatin sports one will experience victory as well as defeat, I faced thecompetition lightheartedly, undisturbed. Because of this I was able to winthe race."Read the above incident carefully.

� How did Sudhira minimise his mental stress?� If you are Sudhira's best friend, write in three sentences how you

would wish him before the commencement of the race?


ability to lead a successful life soliciting the confidence and respect of the others. Youwill be able to easily reach the proper goal of your life, and be endowed with the abilityto be the individual you wish to be.

Activity IVTaking into consideration your class time table and your other daily activities,plan a time table suitable for all seven days of the week. Follow it. Pay attentionto the advantages and disadvantages you get from it.

Summary� On various occasions in life various emotions and mental stress

occur in us.� Through these emotions and mental stress various behaviour

patterns and results occur.� The emotions should be expressed in a wholesome manner.� There are methods of controlling mental stress effectively and

they must be followed up.

AssignmentCollect articles on the proper control of emotions, published in variousnewspapers. For this you can obtain the assistance of your teacher andelders.

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