11 editing tips to wow a publisher
DESCRIPTION
As a professional editor I identified 11 things to improve writing. Take note of these while writing and in your final edit, and you have a better chance to wow a publisher.TRANSCRIPT
One professional editor’s most prevalent changes, and how to avoid them in your writing.
Ann Narcisian Videan • anvidean.com
Feb. 22, 2014
“Let the reader find that he cannot afford to omit any line of your writing
because you have omitted every word that he can spare.”
Ralph Waldo
Emerson...
What’s not
to love?
Inspiration
“‘Got’ is never
a word!”
—Your high-
school English
teacher
Inspiration
Image courtesy of Omega 1982/FreeDigitalPhotos.net.
Pre-editing1. Use active voice/verbs
2. Use deep point-of-view (POV)
3. Show, don't tell.
4. Avoid "as if," "like," or "seem”
5. Use punctuation correctly
6. Minimize "that,” "then,” and “got”
7. Use action tags
8. Position characters/action clearly
Some people
would call
pre-editing...
“writing”
1st Aspect of Editing
Post-writing review9. Search/replace
10. Read in small chunks
11. You are not your own best editor
Some people
would call
post-writing...
“editing”
2nd Aspect of Editing
Inactive/"to be" verbs =
is, was, has, have, be, been
Passive voice often uses inactive verbs followed by words ending in “-ed” or “-ing”
Passive voice =
is jumping, are shouting, have enticed
Active voice =
jumps, shout, enticed
Do:
Use active voice and active verbs
Don’t:
Use passive voice and passive verbs
Pre-editing
1a. Active voice
Passive: The voice was mesmerizing to the student.
Active: The voice mesmerized the student.
Passive: The young girl was overwhelmed by the depths of the woman’s presence.
Active: The woman’s deep presence overwhelmed the young girl.
In active voice,
you start your
sentences with
the subject and
use an active
verb to describe
what the subject
does.
Pre-editing
1b. Active voice
Sample call to action
Passive: Click here to complete our short project assessment form so we are able to better assist you.
Active: Need personal help to move you to the next level? Complete our short project assessment form and someone will respondquickly.
Learn more
(see handout):
Words.Music.
Village blog
"Writing”
and
FutureNow.com
Pre-editing
1c. Active voice
Sensory-engaging media for readers
Deep POV isn't active voice or showing rather than telling.
Stay in the action. Climb into a character's skin and taste, feel, hear, and smell what they do.
Tips A–D
from Michelle
Massaro,
assistant editor,
Clash of the
Titles
Pre-editing
2. Write in deep
POV
Just state the action. ”She saw" phrases distance the reader.
No: She saw the lights come on in the kitchen.
Yes: The lights came on in the kitchen.
A. Delete the
phrases:
“she saw,”
“she heard,” “she
realized,” etc.
Pre-editing
2. Deep POV
What would you say in the situation where someone points a gun at you?
No: She was terrified.
Yes: He planned to kill her.
or
She expected to die.
B. Use realistic
internal
dialogue
Pre-editing
2. Deep POV
Example: Anger
No: He felt angry.
Yes: He narrowed his eyes, curled his lip, and restrained his tensed muscles from hurling his fist into the wall.
Example: Love
No: He realized he was in love with her.
Yes: He closed his eyes and heard her gentle voice calming him. Felt her in his arms. Her lavender scent made his head spin and filled him with the belief he could do anything if it meant being with her.
C. Don’t label
emotions
Pre-editing
2. Deep POV
Describe: Knees buckling
Chest tightening
Throat clamping
An adrenaline rush
Goose bumps
Nausea
Dizziness
Sweating
Etc.
D. Provide
physiological
responses to
pull the reader
deep into the
story
Pre-editing
2. Deep POV
No: Steve was clearly angry. (telling)
Yes: Steve clenched his hands until his knuckles whitened and a tight muscle ticked along his jaw. (showing, fits deep POV)
No: Preparations for the meal were underway. (telling)
Yes: She pulled out the pot, filled it with water she'd pumped from the well, and dumped in the pre-peeled potatoes. (showing)
Beauty is in the
details. No
broad brush
strokes telling
the action.
Show how it
happens!
Pre-editing
3. Show,
Don’t Tell
Avoid “as if”
No: It was as if the floor shook beneath her feet.
Yes: The floor shook beneath her and paintings rattled on the walls. A low rumble echoed through the apartment.
Usually,
something either
happens or it
doesn’t.
Think Yoda:
"Either do or do
not. There is no
try."
Pre-editing
4a. Nix
nebulous phrases
No: He seemed to want to say something.
Yes: He studied her for a moment, opened his mouth and took a breath. Just as quickly, he snapped his mouth shut, huffed, and turned away.
Do not overuse
“seemed to”
phrases
Pre-editing
4b. Nix
nebulous phrases
No: It was like they had known each other their entire lives.
Yes: She felt comfortable with him, two old friends sharing lunch even though they'd only met that morning.
Don’t use “like,”
unless it’s a
simile.
Pre-editing
4c. Nix
nebulous phrases
Comma use. Typically, used to show a pause or change in thought, and in lists.
No double space after period.
"Always include punctuation inside quotation marks!”
Most common
punctuation
edits:
• comma
• spacing
after (.)
• quotation
punctuation
Pre-editing
5a. Correct
punctuation
Semicolons equals an equal sign, or introduces a list with commas
Ellipsis (...) = indicates pause, drifting off
Dash = shows interruption Hyphen (-), en (–) and em (—) dashes
Example:
"Wha— I... I don't know what you mean. Could you—”
“Quiet!”
Most common
punctuation
edits:
• semicolons
• ellipsis vs.
dash
Pre-editing
5b. Correct
punctuation
“THAT”
No: I see that you wondered the same thing.
Yes: I see you wondered the same thing.
No: He shadowed the creature that stalked him in the night.
Yes: He shadowed the creature stalking him in the night.
Delete
“THAT/which,”
“then” and “got”
whenever
possible
Pre-editing
6a. Avoid
useless words
“THEN”
No: I opened the bus door just wide enough for Fred to squeeze outside, and thenquickly closed it.
Yes: I opened the bus door just wide enough for Fred to squeeze outside, and quickly closed it.
Delete
“that/which,”
“THEN” and
“got” whenever
possible
Pre-editing
6b. Avoid
useless words
“GOT”:
Another word can always replace it.
No: He got the check from the mailbox.
Yes: He retrieved the check from the mailbox.
Delete
“that/which,”
“then” and
“GOT”
whenever
possible
Pre-editing
6c. Avoid
useless words
No:
Brad dropped on the couch with a groan. "When was the last time we ran that far?" he asked.
Emily walked past him into the kitchen. "Do you want a drink?" she asked.
"Sure," he replied.
Yes:
Brad dropped on the couch with a groan. "When was the last time we ran that far?”
Emily walked past him into the kitchen. "You want a drink?
"Sure.”
Use as few
dialog tags as
possible, replace
with action tags
Pre-editing
7a. Use action
tags
No: He said, "I'm investigating this crime, one way or another. You in?”
She replied, "Of course.”
He stood and said, "Then, let's go.”
Yes: "I'm investigating this crime one way or another. You in?"
"Of course."
He stood and headed to the door. "Let's go."
The main point
is variation. Less
can be more
with traditional
tags. Prefer end
dialog tag, if
used.
Pre-editing
7b. Use action
tags
No: They rolled toward the edge. The demon creature shoved his weight to the right, and they started to fall until Michael grabbed onto the edge, the creature squeezing his ankles together.
Yes: They rolled toward the edge. The demon creature shoved his weight to the right, and they started to fall until Michael grabbed onto the edge. The creature's bony hands squeezed around Michael's ankles as they both dangled from the roofline.
Wording must
clarify
movement and
positioning.
Pre-editing
8. Positioning
and flow
Search for: “As if”
“Seem”
Double spaces after periods
Inactive verbs
Homework: Search, especially for “is,” “was,” “had,”
“been,” and other “to be” verbs.
If you have more than five such words on a page, rewrite in a more active voice.
Use your word
processor’s
global search
and replace
function to look
for items we’ve
talked about.
Post-writing
9. Search and
replace
Backward by section
Read out loud, and listen for: Flow
Dialog
Edit for one thing at a time: Consistent headers
Specific trouble words
Spelling
Edit in small
chunks.
Post-writing
10. Line edit
Your manuscript needs fresh eyes.
Professional editor (content and line edits)
A co-worker in your marketing department
Several fellow authors or editors (beta readers)
A critique partner or group
Not solely your mother or good friends, even if they are avid readers.
You cannot edit
your own
writing. No
exceptions!
Post-writing
11. No self-editing
Get Support...Words.Music.Village blog
http://anvidean.com
See you...Sa., March 8
"Market Outside the Books: Outrageous Ideas to Entice Readers to Talk You Up”