11 8 - cheapass games€¦ · dear diary: today iplayed poker with some of the gambler’s friends....

Draft BeerFood

Special Effect: DwI

As my turn, I can hand this card from my

Stuff to anyone with a car. This card goes

into their Stuff, and their Cars go away!

5Points

Cost: 4Lawyer’s House: -1Doctor’s House: -1Doctor’s Best Friend: -2

Golfing HatClothing

Special Effect: Bonus Points

Check it out! The Golfing Hat is worth 3

more points if I also have the Golfing

Shoes! How good is that!

5Points


Golfing ShoesClothing


Check it out! The Golfing Shoes are

worth 3 extra points if I also have the

Golfing Hat! That’s a total bonus of 6!

6Points


Spare BedroomShelter

Dear Diary:Today I scored a place to sleep. It’s just a

spare bedroom, but to me it’s like a bottom-less dump for all my trash!

7Points

Cost: 5Doctor’s House: -1Doctor’s Best Friend: -2

Doctor’s Guest HouseShelter

11Points


Dear Diary:I am like totally in the guest house of this

awesome old clown who wants badly to get meout of his main house! It’s Dope!

Golf ClubsFiner Thing

Special Effect: Free Favors

Surprise! I can discard this card from my

Hand and put 4 favors at the Lawyer’s

House. This takes my whole turn!

8Points


Doctor’s CarFiner Thing

Special Effect: Car

Radical! Whenever I move, I can roll

one, two, or three dice! This totally rocks!

Plus I can park wherever I want!

12Points

Cost: 6Doctor’s House: -1Doctor5’s Best Friend: -3

Doctor’s Hot TubFiner Thing

Dear Diary:I am like completely hanging out with this

totally awesome chick who like thinks I’m likedangerous and like really smart and stuff.

18Points


Plastic SurgeryFiner Thing



Hand and put 4 favors at the Waitress’


14Points


Leftover PorkFood


Dude! The Leftover Pork is worth 2

more points if I also have the Leftover

Beans! Get it? Pork and Beans!

4Points

Cost: 4Waitress’ House: -1Waitress’ Best Friend: -2

Leftover BeansFood


Dude! The Leftover Beans are worth 2

more points if I also have the Leftover

Pork! Zang!

3Points


Leftover RiceFood

Dear Diary:I am like obsessed with convincing this

chick to buy more Richard Dreyfuss moviesbut she is totally ignoring my obvious hints.

2Points

Cost: 2Waitress’ House: -1

Leftover GravyFood

Dear Diary:It made my eyes water, but she begged me

to like take this leftover gravy off her hands,so I sucked it up and, uh, did.

1Point


Sun DressClothing



Hand and put 3 favors at the Artist’s House.

This takes my whole turn!

5Points


Work-Out ClothesClothing

Special Effect: Extra Die

lookit! I can roll one extra die when I

move and ignore the lowest! This doesn’t

stack up with other Extra Dice! Narf!

7Points

Cost: 4Hippies’ House: -1Waitress’ House: -1Waitress’ Best Friend: -1

Jogging ShoesClothing


Gee Whiz! I can roll one extra die when

I move and ignore the lowest! This doesn’t

stack up with other Extra Dice! Yowza!

5Points

Cost: 4Doctor’s House: -1Waitress’ House: -1Waitress’ Best Friend: -1

Waitress’ Guest BedShelter



Hand and put 3 favors at the Gambler’s


9Points


Entertainment BookFiner Thing

Special Effect: Bus Tokens

This kicks ass! Whenever I take the Bus I

can always decide where to stop! It’s

almost like I just won the game!

4Points


Buffet ScrapsFood

Dear Diary:The Gambler is totally awesome. He keeps

weird hours, buys expensive stereo equipment,and gets free food sitting around on his ass!

4Points

Cost: 2Gambler’s House: -1Gambler’s Best Friend: -1

Bag of Corn ChipsFood

Dear Diary:Last night someone bet me that I couldn’t

eat an entire bag of Wonder Bread. I saidthrow in a bag of corn chips and you’re on.

3Points

Cost: 2Gambler’s House: -1

Mirage Souvenir CapClothing

Dear Diary:Man, The Gambler is moody.

3Points

Cost: 2Gambler’s House: -1

Crashing in the DenShelter

Dear Diary:...I’m like “who comes down here?” and he’s

like “that’s not the point,” and I’m like “do yougot any toothpaste?” and he’s like “But,”...

6Points


Fake WatchFiner Thing



Hand and put 4 favors at the Gambler’s


10Points


Lucky DiceFiner Thing

Special Effect: Re-Rolls

Dude! Whenever I want, I can re-roll a

die that I rolled if it’s a “1.” That’s like,

when I move, when I fight, whenever!

4Points


Diamond RingFiner Thing

Dear Diary:He’s letting me borrow it, but I don’t think

it means we’re engaged. It’s just as well. Ithink he’s a little compulsive.

8Points

Cost: 5Doctor’s House: -1Gambler’s House: -1Gambler’s Best Friend: -3

Poker ChipsFiner Thing

Dear Diary:Today I played poker with some of the

Gambler’s friends. It was totally sweet. I gotThree Pair, a Blaze, and a Gimpsey Doodle.

7Points


Gambler’s CarFiner Thing

Special Effect: Car

Zoom! Whenever I move, I can roll one,

two, or three dice! This totally rocks!

16Points


Thai TakeoutFood

Dear Diary:Hot peanut butter and ramen noodles?

They call this a culture? Dude, I need frieswith that. I am not kidding.

3Points

Cost: 3Hippies’ House: -1Waitress’ House: -1Lawyer’s House: -1

Vegetarian PizzaFood

Dear Diary:Today I was like totally Iron Chef. My

ingredient was Vegetarian Pizza, transformedinto actual food using simple meat items.

4Points

Cost: 3Hippies’ House: -1Doctor’s House: -1

Wheat Grass JuiceFood

Dear Diary:Bleah! Wheat grass juice! They owe me for

even trying that stuff. It tasted like Frenchkissing a lawnmower.

0.1 Points

Cost: 0Hippies’ House: -1

Tie Dyed Pants SuitClothing

Dear Diary:They said it looked good on me. They also

said that Dwight Eisenhower ran the countryfrom a secret bunker until 1994.

5Points

Cost: 3Hippies’ House: -1Hippies’ Best Friend: -2

Crashing on the FloorShelter

Dear Diary:Today the ants conspired against me.

Acting as one, they destroyed my sense ofself-worth with their orchestrated wandering.

1Point


Dog HouseShelter

Dear Diary:What can I say? I needed to get out of the

rain. Plus this dog food makes it own gravy. Atleast, I think that’s what it’s doing.

0.5Points

Cost: 1Lawyer’s House: -1Waitress’ House: -1

Bird SanctuaryShelter

Dear Diary:Today I saw a red-breasted hornblower

and a three-legged Harlequin. It was just likeliving in paradise, except cold and wet.

1Point

Cost: 1Hippies’ House: -1

Camp HighwayShelter

Dear Diary:This is what I get for moving out of my

parents basement? Sometimes I wish I wasstill playing “Get Out.”

2Points

Cost: 1

Hippies’ Micro-BusFiner Thing

Special Effect: Car

ROck on! Whenever I move, I can roll


8Points


Smooth Irish WhiskeyFood

Special Effect: DwI

As my turn, I can hand this card from my

Stuff to anyone with a car. This card goes

into their Stuff, and their Cars go away!

5Points

Cost: 7Artist’s House: -2Lawyer’s House: -2Doctor’s Best Friend: -3

Jacket, 42 ShortClothing



Hand and put 2 favors at the lawyer’s


5Points

Cost: 3Lawyer’s House: -2

Silk TieClothing

Dear Diary:I am the hottiest hottie ever to figure out

a half-Windsor.

2Points

Cost: 1Lawyer’s Best Friend: -1

Hallway Hide-a-BedShelter

Dear Diary:I opened up this “hide-a-Bed” and when it

fell out, I thought it was still hiding.

4Points

Cost: 3Lawyer’s House: -1Lawyer’s Best Friend: -1

Couch in the FoyerShelter

Dear Diary:Once I put the coat rack on the porch,

unplugged the doorbell,and locked the cat inthe basement, I finally got some sleep.

2Points

Cost: 1Lawyer’s House: -1

Lawyer’s CarFiner Thing

Special Effect: Car

Bitchin’! Whenever I move, I can roll


Plus the cops never hassle me!

15Points

Cost: 8Lawyer’s House: -1Lawyer’s best Friend: -3

Learn Spanish in a Day TapeFiner Thing



Hand and put 4 favors at the Waitress’


10Points

Cost: 6Lawyer’s House: -1Lawyer’s Best Friend: -3

Laptop ComputerFiner Thing


Check it out! The laptop Computer is

worth 5 more points if I also have Time on

the Internet! No surprise there!

10Points

Cost: 7Hippies’ House: -1Lawyer’s House: -1Lawyer’s Best Friend: -3

Time on the InternetFiner Thing


Check it out! Time on the Internet is

worth 5 more points if I also have the

laptop Computer! That’s 10 extra points!

8Points

Cost: 6Hippies’ House: -1Lawyer’s House: -1Lawyer’s Best Friend: -3

Bagel with LoxFood

Dear Diary:I have never enjoyed Lox more. In fact, I

have never enjoyed it at all.

1Point

Cost: 1Artist’s House: -1

Comfortable SmockClothing

Dear Diary:Now my look is perfect.

3Points


Real French BeretClothing

Dear Diary:Nothing says “Bonjour Mademoiselle, avez-

vous trois francs pour une tasse de café?” likea real French beret.

2Points


Fine Italian ShoesClothing


Zoot! I can roll one extra die when I

move and ignore the lowest! This doesn’t

stack up with other Extra Dice! Egad!

7Points

Cost: 5Lawyer’s House: -1Artist’s House: -1Artist’s Best Friend: -3

A Bed in the AtticShelter

Dear Diary:“Drafty” doesn’t begin to describe it. The

cold wind is like the nagging memory of anunspeakable act. Plus it smells funny.

2Points


The Room Under the StairsShelter

Dear Diary:So many things I would have done, but

stairs got in the way.

2Points

Cost: 2Artist’s House: -1Artist’s Best Friend: -2

Fine ArtFiner Thing

Dear Diary:The Artist finally came through with a gift

I will treasure forever. Mostly because there’sno way I can sell it.

16Points


Bust of LeonardoFiner Thing

Dear Diary:I had always thought that Leonardo was a

turtle. Apparently I was partially right. He wasALSO a turtle.

8Points

Cost: 5Artist’s House: -1Artist’s best Friend: -2

Artist’s CarFiner Thing

Special Effect: Car

Zoing! Whenever I move, I can roll one,

two, or three dice! This totally rocks! This

is even cooler than free Jim Rose tickets!

16Points


11 8 - cheapass games€¦ · dear diary: today iplayed poker with some of the gambler’s friends....

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