10thAnniversaryEdition

WhereverYouGo,ThereYouAre

MindfulnessMeditationInEverydayLife

JonKabat-Zinn

ForMyla,Will,Naushon,andSerena,whereveryougo

Contents

Introduction

PartOneTheBloomofthePresentMoment

WhatIsMindfulness?

SimplebutNotEasy

Stopping

ThisIsIt

CapturingYourMoments

KeepingtheBreathinMind

Practice,Practice,Practice

PracticeDoesNotMeanRehearsal

YouDon’tHavetoGoOutofYourWaytoPractice

WakingUp

KeepingItSimple

YouCan’tStoptheWavesbutYouCanLearntoSurf

CanAnybodyMeditate?

InPraiseofNon-Doing

TheNon-DoingParadox

Non-DoinginAction

DoingNon-Doing

Patience

LettingGo

Non-Judging

Trust

Generosity

YouHavetoBeStrongEnoughtoBeWeak

VoluntarySimplicity

Concentration

Vision

MeditationDevelopsFullHumanBeings

PracticeasaPath

Meditation:NottoBeConfusedwithPositiveThinking

GoingInside

PartTwoTheHeartofPractice

SittingMeditation

TakingYourSeat

Dignity

Posture

WhattoDowithYourHands

ComingOutofMeditation

HowLongtoPractice?

NoRightWay

AWhat-Is-My-Way?Meditation

TheMountainMeditation

TheLakeMeditation

WalkingMeditation

StandingMeditation

Lying-DownMeditation

GettingYourBodyDownontheFlooratLeastOnceaDay

NotPracticingIsPracticing

LovingKindnessMeditation

PartThreeIntheSpiritofMindfulness

SittingbyFire

Harmony

EarlyMorning

DirectContact

IsThereAnythingElseYouWouldLiketoTellMe?

YourOwnAuthority

WhereverYouGo,ThereYouAre

GoingUpstairs

CleaningtheStoveWhileListeningtoBobbyMcFerrin

WhatIsMyJobonthePlanetwithaCapitalJ?

MountAnalogue

Interconnectedness

Non-Harming—Ahimsa

Karma

WholenessandOneness

EachnessandSuchness

WhatIsThis?

Selfing

Anger

Cat-FoodLessons

ParentingasPractice

ParentingTwo

SomePitfallsAlongthePath

IsMindfulnessSpiritual?

Afterword

MindfulnessMeditationPracticeCDs

Acknowledgments

AbouttheAuthor

Credits

Copyright

Introduction

Guesswhat?Whenitcomesrightdowntoit,whereveryougo,thereyouare.Whateveryouwindupdoing,that’swhatyou’vewoundupdoing.Whateveryouarethinkingrightnow,that’swhat’sonyourmind.Whateverhashappenedtoyou,ithasalreadyhappened.Theimportantquestionis,howareyougoingtohandleit?Inotherwords,“Nowwhat?”

Likeitornot,thismomentisallwereallyhavetoworkwith.Yetwealltooeasilyconductourlivesasifforgettingmomentarilythatwearehere,wherewealreadyare,andthatweareinwhatwearealreadyin.Ineverymoment,wefindourselvesatthecrossroadofhereandnow.Butwhenthecloudofforgetfulnessoverwherewearenowsetsin,inthatverymomentwegetlost.“Nowwhat?”becomesarealproblem.

Bylost,Imeanthatwemomentarilylosetouchwithourselvesandwiththefullextentofourpossibilities.Instead,wefallintoarobotlikewayofseeingandthinkinganddoing.Inthosemoments,webreakcontactwithwhatisdeepestinourselvesandaffordsusperhapsourgreatestopportunitiesforcreativity,learning,andgrowing.Ifwearenotcareful,thosecloudedmomentscanstretchoutandbecomemostofourlives.

Toallowourselvestobetrulyintouchwithwherewealreadyare,nomatterwherethatis,wehavegottopauseinourexperiencelongenoughtoletthepresentmomentsinkin;longenoughtoactuallyfeelthepresentmoment,toseeitinitsfullness,toholditinawarenessandtherebycometoknowandunderstanditbetter.Onlythencanweacceptthetruthofthismomentofourlife,learnfromit,andmoveon.Instead,itoftenseemsasifwearepreoccupiedwiththepast,withwhathasalreadyhappened,orwithafuturethathasn’tarrivedyet.Welookforsomeplaceelsetostand,wherewehopethingswillbebetter,happier,morethewaywewantthemtobe,orthewaytheyusedtobe.Mostofthetimeweareonlypartiallyawareofthisinnertension,ifweareawareofitatall.Whatismore,wearealsoonlypartiallyawareatbestofexactlywhatwearedoinginandwithourlives,andtheeffectsouractionsand,moresubtly,ourthoughtshaveonwhatweseeanddon’tsee,whatwedoanddon’tdo.

Forinstance,weusuallyfall,quiteunawares,intoassumingthatwhatwearethinking—theideasandopinionsthatweharboratanygiventime—are“thetruth”aboutwhatis“outthere”intheworldand“inhere”inourminds.Mostofthetime,itjustisn’tso.

Wepayahighpriceforthismistakenandunexaminedassumption,forouralmostwillfulignoringoftherichnessofourpresentmoments.Thefalloutaccumulatessilently,coloringourliveswithoutourknowingitorbeingabletodosomethingaboutit.Wemayneverquitebewhereweactuallyare,neverquitetouchthefullnessofourpossibilities.Instead,welockourselvesintoapersonalfictionthatwealreadyknowwhoweare,thatweknowwhereweareandwherewearegoing,thatweknowwhatishappening—allthewhileremainingenshroudedinthoughts,fantasies,andimpulses,mostlyaboutthepastandaboutthefuture,aboutwhatwewantandlike,andwhatwefearanddon’tlike,whichspinout

continuously,veilingourdirectionandtheverygroundwearestandingon.Thebookyouhaveinyourhandsisaboutwakingupfromsuchdreamsandfromthenightmaresthey

oftenturninto.NotknowingthatyouareeveninsuchadreamiswhattheBuddhistscall“ignorance,”ormindlessness.Beingintouchwiththisnotknowingiscalled“mindfulness.”Theworkofwakingupfromthesedreamsistheworkofmeditation,thesystematiccultivationofwakefulness,ofpresent-momentawareness.Thiswakingupgoeshandinhandwithwhatwemightcall“wisdom,”aseeingmoredeeplyintocauseandeffectandtheinterconnectednessofthings,sothatwearenolongercaughtinadream-dictatedrealityofourowncreation.Tofindourway,wewillneedtopaymoreattentiontothismoment.Itistheonlytimethatwehaveinwhichtolive,grow,feel,andchange.WewillneedtobecomemoreawareofandtakeprecautionsagainsttheincrediblepulloftheScyllaandCharybdisofpastandfuture,andthedreamworldtheyofferusinplaceofourlives.

Whenwespeakofmeditation,itisimportantforyoutoknowthatthisisnotsomeweirdcrypticactivity,asourpopularculturemighthaveit.Itdoesnotinvolvebecomingsomekindofzombie,vegetable,self-absorbednarcissist,navelgazer,“spacecadet,”cultist,devotee,mystic,orEasternphilosopher.Meditationissimplyaboutbeingyourselfandknowingsomethingaboutwhothatis.Itisaboutcomingtorealizethatyouareonapathwhetheryoulikeitornot,namely,thepaththatisyourlife.Meditationmayhelpusseethatthispathwecallourlifehasdirection;thatitisalwaysunfolding,momentbymoment;andthatwhathappensnow,inthismoment,influenceswhathappensnext.

Ifwhathappensnowdoesinfluencewhathappensnext,thendoesn’titmakessensetolookaroundabitfromtimetotimesothatyouaremoreintouchwithwhatishappeningnow,sothatyoucantakeyourinnerandouterbearingsandperceivewithclaritythepaththatyouareactuallyonandthedirectioninwhichyouaregoing?Ifyoudoso,maybeyouwillbeinabetterpositiontochartacourseforyourselfthatistruertoyourinnerbeing—asoulpath,apathwithheart,yourpathwithacapitalP.Ifnot,thesheermomentumofyourunconsciousnessinthismomentjustcolorsthenextmoment.Thedays,months,andyearsquicklygobyunnoticed,unused,unappreciated.

Itisalltooeasytoremainonsomethingofafog-enshrouded,slipperysloperightintoourgraves;or,inthefog-dispellingclaritywhichonoccasionprecedesthemomentofdeath,towakeupandrealizethatwhatwehadthoughtallthoseyearsabouthowlifewastobelivedandwhatwasimportantwereatbestunexaminedhalf-truthsbasedonfearorignorance,onlyourownlife-limitingideas,andnotthetruthorthewayourlifehadtobeatall.

Nooneelsecandothisjobofwakingupforus,althoughourfamilyandfriendsdosometimestrydesperatelytogetthroughtous,tohelpusseemoreclearlyorbreakoutofourownblindnesses.Butwakingupisultimatelysomethingthateachoneofuscanonlydoforourselves.Whenitcomesdowntoit,whereveryougo,thereyouare.It’syourlifethatisunfolding.

Attheendofalonglifededicatedtoteachingmindfulness,theBuddha,whoprobablyhadhisshareoffollowerswhowerehopinghemightmakeiteasierforthemtofindtheirownpaths,summeditupforhisdisciplesthisway:“Bealightuntoyourself.”

Inmypreviousbook,FullCatastropheLiving,ItriedtomakethepathofmindfulnessaccessibletomainstreamAmericanssothatitwouldnotfeelBuddhistormysticalsomuchassensible.Mindfulnesshastodoaboveallwithattentionandawareness,whichareuniversalhumanqualities.Butinoursociety,wetendtotakethesecapacitiesforgrantedanddon’tthinktodevelopthemsystematicallyintheserviceofself-understandingandwisdom.Meditationistheprocessbywhichwegoaboutdeepeningourattentionandawareness,refiningthem,andputtingthemtogreaterpracticaluseinourlives.

FullCatastropheLivingcanbethoughtofasanavigationalchart,intendedforpeoplefacingphysicaloremotionalpainorreelingfromtheeffectsoftoomuchstress.Theaimwastochallengethereadertorealize,throughhisorherdirectexperiencesofpayingattentiontothingsweallsooftenignore,thattheremightbeveryrealreasonsforintegratingmindfulnessintothefabricofone’slife.

NotthatIwassuggestingthatmindfulnessissomekindofacureallordimestoresolutiontolife’sproblems.Farfromit.Idon’tknowofanymagicalsolutionsand,frankly,Iamnotlookingforone.Afulllifeispaintedwithbroadbrushstrokes.Manypathscanleadtounderstandingandwisdom.Eachofushasdifferentneedstoaddressandthingsworthpursuingoverthecourseofalifetime.Eachofushastochartourowncourse,andithastofitwhatwearereadyfor.

Youcertainlyhavetobereadyformeditation.Youhavetocometoitattherighttimeinyourlife,atapointwhereyouarereadytolistencarefullytoyourownvoice,toyourownheart,toyourownbreathing—tojustbepresentforthemandwiththem,withouthavingtogoanywhereormakeanythingbetterordifferent.Thisishardwork.

IwroteFullCatastropheLivingthinkingofthepeoplereferredtousaspatientsinourstressreductionclinicattheUniversityofMassachusettsMedicalCenter.Iwasmovedtodosobytheremarkabletransformationsinmindandbodythatmanypeoplereportastheyputasidetryingtochangethesevereproblemsthatbroughtthemtotheclinicinthefirstplace,andengageoveraneight-weekperiodintheintensivedisciplineofopeningandlisteningthatcharacterizesthepracticeofmindfulness.

Asanavigationalchart,FullCatastropheLivinghadtosupplyenoughdetailsothatsomeoneinsignificantneedcouldplothisorherowncoursewithcare.Ithadtospeaktothepressingneedsofpeoplewithseriousmedicalproblemsandchronicpain,aswellastothosesufferingindifferentkindsofstressfulsituations.Forthesereasons,ithadtoincludeagooddealofinformationonstressandillness,healthandhealing,aswellasextensiveinstructionsonhowtomeditate.

Thisbookisdifferent.Itismeanttoprovidebriefandeasyaccesstotheessenceofmindfulnessmeditationanditsapplications,forpeoplewhoselivesmayormaynotbedominatedbyimmediateproblemsofstress,pain,andillness.Itisofferedparticularlyforthosewhoresiststructuredprogramsandforpeoplewhodon’tliketobetoldwhattodobutarecuriousenoughaboutmindfulnessanditsrelevancetotrytopiecethingstogetherforthemselveswithafewhintsandsuggestionshereandthere.

Atthesametime,thisbookisalsoofferedtothosewhoarealreadypracticingmeditationandwishtoexpand,deepen,andreinforcetheircommitmenttoalifeofgreaterawarenessandinsight.Here,inbriefchapters,thefocusisonthespiritofmindfulness,bothinourformalattemptsatpracticeandinoureffortstobringitintoallaspectsofourdailylives.Eachchapterisaglimpsethroughonefaceofthemultifaceteddiamondofmindfulness.Thechaptersarerelatedtoeachotherbytinyrotationsofthecrystal.Somemaysoundsimilartoothers,buteachfacetisalsodifferent,unique.

Thisexplorationofthediamondofmindfulnessisofferedforallthosewhowouldchartacoursetowardgreatersanityandwisdomintheirlives.Whatisrequiredisawillingnesstolookdeeplyatone’spresentmoments,nomatterwhattheyhold,inaspiritofgenerosity,kindnesstowardoneself,andopennesstowardwhatmightbepossible.

PartOneexplorestherationaleandbackgroundfortakingonordeepeningapersonalpracticeofmindfulness.Itchallengesthereadertoexperimentwithintroducingmindfulnessintohisorherlifeinanumberofdifferentways.PartTwoexploressomebasicaspectsofformalmeditationpractice.Formalpracticereferstospecificperiodsoftimeinwhichwepurposefullystopotheractivityandengageinparticularmethodsofcultivatingmindfulnessandconcentration.PartThreeexploresarangeofapplicationsandperspectivesonmindfulness.Certainchaptersinallthreepartsendwithexplicitsuggestionsforincorporatingaspectsofbothformalandinformalmindfulnesspracticeintoone’slife.Thesearefoundundertheheading“TRY.”

Thisvolumecontainssufficientinstructionstoengageinmeditationpracticeonone’sown,withouttheuseofothermaterialsorsupports.However,manypeoplefindithelpfultouseaudiotapesinthebeginningtosupportthedailydisciplineofaformalmeditationpractice,andtoguidethemintheinstructionsuntiltheygetthehangofitandwishtopracticeontheirown.Othersfindthatevenafteryearsofpractice,itishelpfulonoccasiontomakeuseoftapes.Tothisend,anewseriesofmindfulness

meditationpracticetapes(Series2)hasbeenpreparedinconjunctionwiththisbook.Thesetapesrangeinlengthfromtenminutestohalfanhour;theygivethereaderwhoisnewtomindfulnesspracticearangeoftechniquestoexperimentwith,aswellasroomtodecidewhatlengthofformalpracticeisappropriateforagiventimeandplace.TheSeries2tapesarelistedintheorderformatthebackofthisbook,alongwiththe45-minutetapesfromSeries1whichaccompanyFullCatastropheLiving.

PartOne

TheBloomofthePresentMoment

Onlythatdaydawnstowhichweareawake.

HENRYDAVIDTHOREAU,Walden

WhatIsMindfulness?

MindfulnessisanancientBuddhistpracticewhichhasprofoundrelevanceforourpresent-daylives.ThisrelevancehasnothingtodowithBuddhismperseorwithbecomingaBuddhist,butithaseverythingtodowithwakingupandlivinginharmonywithoneselfandwiththeworld.Ithastodowithexaminingwhoweare,withquestioningourviewoftheworldandourplaceinit,andwithcultivatingsomeappreciationforthefullnessofeachmomentwearealive.Mostofall,ithastodowithbeingintouch.

FromtheBuddhistperspective,ourordinarywakingstateofconsciousnessisseenasbeingseverelylimitedandlimiting,resemblinginmanyrespectsanextendeddreamratherthanwakefulness.Meditationhelpsuswakeupfromthissleepofautomaticityandunconsciousness,therebymakingitpossibleforustoliveourliveswithaccesstothefullspectrumofourconsciousandunconsciouspossibilities.Sages,yogis,andZenmastershavebeenexploringthisterritorysystematicallyforthousandsofyears;intheprocesstheyhavelearnedsomethingwhichmaynowbeprofoundlybeneficialintheWesttocounterbalanceourculturalorientationtowardcontrollingandsubduingnatureratherthanhonoringthatweareanintimatepartofit.Theircollectiveexperiencesuggeststhatbyinvestigatinginwardlyourownnatureasbeingsand,particularly,thenatureofourownmindsthroughcarefulandsystematicself-observation,wemaybeabletolivelivesofgreatersatisfaction,harmony,andwisdom.ItalsooffersaviewoftheworldwhichiscomplementarytothepredominantlyreductionistandmaterialisticonecurrentlydominatingWesternthoughtandinstitutions.Butthisviewisneitherparticularly“Eastern”normystical.ThoreausawthesameproblemwithourordinarymindstateinNewEnglandin1846andwrotewithgreatpassionaboutitsunfortunateconsequences.

MindfulnesshasbeencalledtheheartofBuddhistmeditation.Fundamentally,mindfulnessisasimpleconcept.Itspowerliesinitspracticeanditsapplications.Mindfulnessmeanspayingattentioninaparticularway:onpurpose,inthepresentmoment,andnonjudgmentally.Thiskindofattentionnurturesgreaterawareness,clarity,andacceptanceofpresent-momentreality.Itwakesusuptothefactthatourlivesunfoldonlyinmoments.Ifwearenotfullypresentformanyofthosemoments,wemaynotonlymisswhatismostvaluableinourlivesbutalsofailtorealizetherichnessandthedepthofourpossibilitiesforgrowthandtransformation.

Adiminishedawarenessofthepresentmomentinevitablycreatesotherproblemsforusaswellthroughourunconsciousandautomaticactionsandbehaviors,oftendrivenbydeepseatedfearsandinsecurities.Theseproblemstendtobuildovertimeiftheyarenotattendedtoandcaneventuallyleaveusfeelingstuckandoutoftouch.Overtime,wemayloseconfidenceinourabilitytoredirectourenergiesinwaysthatwouldleadtogreatersatisfactionandhappiness,perhapseventogreaterhealth.

Mindfulnessprovidesasimplebutpowerfulrouteforgettingourselvesunstuck,backintotouchwithourownwisdomandvitality.Itisawaytotakechargeofthedirectionandqualityofourownlives,includingourrelationshipswithinthefamily,ourrelationshiptoworkandtothelargerworldandplanet,andmostfundamentally,ourrelationshipwithourselfasaperson.

Thekeytothispath,whichliesattherootofBuddhism,Taoism,andyoga,andwhichwealsofindintheworksofpeoplelikeEmerson,Thoreau,andWhitman,andinNativeAmericanwisdom,isanappreciationforthepresentmomentandthecultivationofanintimaterelationshipwithitthroughacontinualattendingtoitwithcareanddiscernment.Itisthedirectoppositeoftakinglifeforgranted.

Thehabitofignoringourpresentmomentsinfavorofothersyettocomeleadsdirectlytoapervasivelackofawarenessoftheweboflifeinwhichweareembedded.Thisincludesalackofawarenessandunderstandingofourownmindandhowitinfluencesourperceptionsandouractions.Itseverelylimitsourperspectiveonwhatitmeanstobeapersonandhowweareconnectedtoeachotherandtotheworldaroundus.Religionhastraditionallybeenthedomainofsuchfundamentalinquirieswithinaspiritualframework,butmindfulnesshaslittletodowithreligion,exceptinthemostfundamentalmeaningoftheword,asanattempttoappreciatethedeepmysteryofbeingaliveandtoacknowledgebeingvitallyconnectedtoallthatexists.

Whenwecommitourselvestopayingattentioninanopenway,withoutfallingpreytoourownlikesanddislikes,opinionsandprejudices,projectionsandexpectations,newpossibilitiesopenupandwehaveachancetofreeourselvesfromthestraitjacketofunconsciousness.

Iliketothinkofmindfulnesssimplyastheartofconsciousliving.Youdon’thavetobeaBuddhistorayogitopracticeit.Infact,ifyouknowanythingaboutBuddhism,youwillknowthatthemostimportantpointistobeyourselfandnottrytobecomeanythingthatyouarenotalready.Buddhismisfundamentallyaboutbeingintouchwithyourowndeepestnatureandlettingitflowoutofyouunimpeded.Ithastodowithwakingupandseeingthingsastheyare.Infact,theword“Buddha”simplymeansonewhohasawakenedtohisorherowntruenature.

So,mindfulnesswillnotconflictwithanybeliefsortraditions—religiousorforthatmatterscientific—norisittryingtosellyouanything,especiallynotanewbeliefsystemorideology.Itissimplyapracticalwaytobemoreintouchwiththefullnessofyourbeingthroughasystematicprocessofself-observation,self-inquiry,andmindfulaction.Thereisnothingcold,analytical,orunfeelingaboutit.Theoveralltenorofmindfulnesspracticeisgentle,appreciative,andnurturing.Anotherwaytothinkofitwouldbe“heartfulness.”

Astudentoncesaid:“WhenIwasaBuddhist,itdrovemyparentsandfriendscrazy,butwhenIamabuddha,nobodyisupsetatall.”

SimplebutNotEasy

Whileitmaybesimpletopracticemindfulness,itisnotnecessarilyeasy.Mindfulnessrequireseffortanddisciplineforthesimplereasonthattheforcesthatworkagainstourbeingmindful,namely,ourhabitualunawarenessandautomaticity,areexceedinglytenacious.Theyaresostrongandsomuchoutofourconsciousnessthataninnercommitmentandacertainkindofworkarenecessaryjusttokeepupourattemptstocaptureourmomentsinawarenessandsustainmindfulness.Butitisanintrinsicallysatisfyingworkbecauseitputsusintouchwithmanyaspectsofourlivesthatarehabituallyoverlookedandlosttous.

Itisalsoenlighteningandliberatingwork.Itisenlighteninginthatitliterallyallowsustoseemoreclearly,andthereforecometounderstandmoredeeply,areasinourlivesthatwewereoutoftouchwithorunwillingtolookat.Thismayincludeencounteringdeepemotions—suchasgrief,sadness,woundedness,anger,andfear—thatwemightnotordinarilyallowourselvestoholdinawarenessorexpressconsciously.Mindfulnesscanalsohelpustoappreciatefeelingssuchasjoy,peacefulness,andhappinesswhichoftengobyfleetinglyandunacknowledged.Itisliberatinginthatitleadstonewwaysofbeinginourownskinandintheworld,whichcanfreeusfromtherutswesooftenfallinto.Itisempoweringaswell,becausepayingattentioninthiswayopenschannelstodeepreservoirsofcreativity,intelligence,imagination,clarity,determination,choice,andwisdomwithinus.

Wetendtobeparticularlyunawarethatwearethinkingvirtuallyallthetime.Theincessantstreamofthoughtsflowingthroughourmindsleavesusverylittlerespiteforinnerquiet.Andweleavepreciouslittleroomforourselvesanywayjusttobe,withouthavingtorunarounddoingthingsallthetime.Ouractionsarealltoofrequentlydrivenratherthanundertakeninawareness,drivenbythoseperfectlyordinarythoughtsandimpulsesthatrunthroughthemindlikeacoursingriver,ifnotawaterfall.Wegetcaughtupinthetorrentanditwindsupsubmergingourlivesasitcarriesustoplaceswemaynotwishtogoandmaynotevenrealizeweareheadedfor.

Meditationmeanslearninghowtogetoutofthiscurrent,sitbyitsbankandlistentoit,learnfromit,andthenuseitsenergiestoguideusratherthantotyrannizeus.Thisprocessdoesn’tmagicallyhappenbyitself.Ittakesenergy.Wecalltheefforttocultivateourabilitytobeinthepresentmoment“practice”or“meditationpractice.”

Question:HowcanIsetrightatanglewhichisentirelybelowthelevelofmyconsciousness?

Nisargadatta:Bybeingwithyourself…bywatchingyourselfinyourdailylifewithalertinterest,withtheintentiontounderstandratherthantojudge,infullacceptanceofwhatevermayemerge,becauseitisthere,youencouragethedeeptocometothesurfaceandenrichyourlifeandconsciousnesswithitscaptiveenergies.Thisisthegreatworkofawareness;itremovesobstaclesandreleasesenergiesbyunderstandingthenatureoflifeandmind.Intelligenceisthedoortofreedomandalertattentionisthemotherofintelligence.

NISARGADATTAMAHARAJ,IAmThat

Stopping

Peoplethinkofmeditationassomekindofspecialactivity,butthisisnotexactlycorrect.Meditationissimplicityitself.Asajoke,wesometimessay:“Don’tjustdosomething,sitthere.”Butmeditationisnotjustaboutsitting,either.Itisaboutstoppingandbeingpresent,thatisall.Mostlywerunarounddoing.Areyouabletocometoastopinyourlife,evenforonemoment?Coulditbethismoment?Whatwouldhappenifyoudid?

Agoodwaytostopallthedoingistoshiftintothe“beingmode”foramoment.Thinkofyourselfasaneternalwitness,astimeless.Justwatchthismoment,withouttryingtochangeitatall.Whatishappening?Whatdoyoufeel?Whatdoyousee?Whatdoyouhear?

Thefunnythingaboutstoppingisthatassoonasyoudoit,hereyouare.Thingsgetsimpler.Insomeways,it’sasifyoudiedandtheworldcontinuedon.Ifyoudiddie,allyourresponsibilitiesandobligationswouldimmediatelyevaporate.Theirresiduewouldsomehowgetworkedoutwithoutyou.Nooneelsecantakeoveryouruniqueagenda.Itwoulddieorpeteroutwithyoujustasithasforeveryoneelsewhohaseverdied.Soyoudon’tneedtoworryaboutitinanyabsoluteway.

Ifthisistrue,maybeyoudon’tneedtomakeonemorephonecallrightnow,evenifyouthinkyoudo.Maybeyoudon’tneedtoreadsomethingjustnow,orrunonemoreerrand.Bytakingafewmomentsto“dieonpurpose”totherushoftimewhileyouarestillliving,youfreeyourselftohavetimeforthepresent.By“dying”nowinthisway,youactuallybecomemorealivenow.Thisiswhatstoppingcando.Thereisnothingpassiveaboutit.Andwhenyoudecidetogo,it’sadifferentkindofgoingbecauseyoustopped.Thestoppingactuallymakesthegoingmorevivid,richer,moretextured.Ithelpskeepallthethingsweworryaboutandfeelinadequateaboutinperspective.Itgivesusguidance.

TRY:Stopping,sittingdown,andbecomingawareofyourbreathingonceinawhilethroughouttheday.Itcanbeforfiveminutes,orevenfiveseconds.Letgointofullacceptanceofthepresentmoment,includinghowyouarefeelingandwhatyouperceivetobehappening.Forthesemoments,don’ttrytochangeanythingatall,justbreatheandletgo.Breatheandletbe.Dietohavingtohaveanythingbedifferentinthismoment;inyourmindandinyourheart,giveyourselfpermissiontoallowthismomenttobeexactlyasitis,andallowyourselftobeexactlyasyouare.Then,whenyou’reready,moveinthedirectionyourhearttellsyoutogo,mindfullyandwithresolution.

ThisIsIt

NewYorkercartoon:TwoZenmonksinrobesandshavedheads,oneyoung,oneold,sittingsidebysidecross-leggedonthefloor.Theyoungeroneislookingsomewhatquizzicallyattheolderone,whoisturnedtowardhimandsaying:“Nothinghappensnext.Thisisit.”

It’strue.Ordinarily,whenweundertakesomething,itisonlynaturaltoexpectadesirableoutcomeforourefforts.Wewanttoseeresults,evenifitisonlyapleasantfeeling.ThesoleexceptionIcanthinkofismeditation.Meditationistheonlyintentional,systematichumanactivitywhichatbottomisaboutnottryingtoimproveyourselforgetanywhereelse,butsimplytorealizewhereyoualreadyare.Perhapsitsvalueliespreciselyinthis.Maybeweallneedtodoonethinginourlivessimplyforitsownsake.

Butitwouldnotquitebeaccuratetocallmeditationa“doing.”Itismoreaccuratelydescribedasa“being.”Whenweunderstandthat“Thisisit,”itallowsustoletgoofthepastandthefutureandwakeuptowhatwearenow,inthismoment.

Peopleusuallydon’tgetthisrightaway.Theywanttomeditateinordertorelax,toexperienceaspecialstate,tobecomeabetterperson,toreducesomestressorpain,tobreakoutofoldhabitsandpatterns,tobecomefreeorenlightened.Allvalidreasonstotakeupmeditationpractice,butallequallyfraughtwithproblemsifyouexpectthosethingstohappenjustbecausenowyouaremeditating.You’llgetcaughtupinwantingtohavea“specialexperience”orinlookingforsignsofprogress,andifyoudon’tfeelsomethingspecialprettyquickly,youmaystarttodoubtthepathyouhavechosen,ortowonderwhetheryouare“doingitright.”

Inmostdomainsoflearning,thisisonlyreasonable.Ofcourseyouhavetoseeprogresssoonerorlatertokeepatsomething.Butmeditationisdifferent.Fromtheperspectiveofmeditation,everystateisaspecialstate,everymomentaspecialmoment.

Whenweletgoofwantingsomethingelsetohappeninthismoment,wearetakingaprofoundsteptowardbeingabletoencounterwhatisherenow.Ifwehopetogoanywhereordevelopourselvesinanyway,wecanonlystepfromwherewearestanding.Ifwedon’treallyknowwherewearestanding—aknowingthatcomesdirectlyfromthecultivationofmindfulness—wemayonlygoincircles,foralloureffortsandexpectations.So,inmeditationpractice,thebestwaytogetsomewhereistoletgooftryingtogetanywhereatall.

Ifyourmindisn’tcloudedbyunnecessarythings,Thisisthebestseasonofyourlife.

WU-MEN

TRY:Remindingyourselffromtimetotime:“Thisisit.”Seeifthereisanythingatallthatitcannotbeappliedto.Remindyourselfthatacceptanceofthepresentmomenthasnothingtodowithresignationinthefaceofwhatishappening.Itsimplymeansaclearacknowledgmentthatwhatishappeningishappening.Acceptancedoesn’ttellyouwhattodo.Whathappensnext,whatyouchoosetodo,thathastocomeoutofyourunderstandingofthismoment.Youmighttryactingoutofadeepknowingof“Thisisit.”Doesitinfluencehowyouchoosetoproceedorrespond?Isitpossibleforyoutocontemplatethatinaveryrealway,thismayactuallybethebestseason,thebestmomentofyourlife?Ifthatwasso,whatwoulditmeanforyou?

CapturingYourMoments

Thebestwaytocapturemomentsistopayattention.Thisishowwecultivatemindfulness.Mindfulnessmeansbeingawake.Itmeansknowingwhatyouaredoing.Butwhenwestarttofocusinonwhatourownmindisupto,forinstance,itisnotunusualtoquicklygounconsciousagain,tofallbackintoanautomatic-pilotmodeofunawareness.Theselapsesinawarenessarefrequentlycausedbyaneddyofdissatisfactionwithwhatweareseeingorfeelinginthatmoment,outofwhichspringsadesireforsomethingtobedifferent,forthingstochange.

Youcaneasilyobservethemind’shabitofescapingfromthepresentmomentforyourself.Justtrytokeepyourattentionfocusedonanyobjectforevenashortperiodoftime.Youwillfindthattocultivatemindfulness,youmayhavetorememberoverandoveragaintobeawakeandaware.Wedothisbyremindingourselvestolook,tofeel,tobe.It’sthatsimple…checkinginfrommomenttomoment,sustainingawarenessacrossastretchoftimelessmoments,beinghere,now.

TRY:Askingyourselfinthismoment,“AmIawake?,”“Whereismymindrightnow?”

KeepingtheBreathinMind

Ithelpstohaveafocusforyourattention,ananchorlinetotetheryoutothepresentmomentandtoguideyoubackwhenthemindwanders.Thebreathservesthispurposeexceedinglywell.Itcanbeatrueally.Bringingawarenesstoourbreathing,weremindourselvesthatweareherenow,sowemightaswellbefullyawakeforwhateverisalreadyhappening.

Ourbreathingcanhelpusincapturingourmoments.It’ssurprisingthatmorepeopledon’tknowaboutthis.Afterall,thebreathisalwayshere,rightunderournoses.Youwouldthinkjustbychancewemighthavecomeacrossitsusefulnessatonepointoranother.Weevenhavethephrase,“Ididn’thaveamomenttobreathe”(or“tocatchmybreath”)togiveusahintthatmomentsandbreathingmightbeconnectedinaninterestingway.

Touseyourbreathingtonurturemindfulness,justtuneintothefeelingofit…thefeelingofthebreathcomingintoyourbodyandthefeelingofthebreathleavingyourbody.That’sall.Justfeelingthebreath.Breathingandknowingthatyou’rebreathing.Thisdoesn’tmeandeepbreathingorforcingyourbreathing,ortryingtofeelsomethingspecial,orwonderingwhetheryou’redoingitright.Itdoesn’tmeanthinkingaboutyourbreathing,either.It’sjustabarebonesawarenessofthebreathmovinginandthebreathmovingout.

Itdoesn’thavetobeforalongtimeatanyonestretch.Usingthebreathtobringusbacktothepresentmomenttakesnotimeatall,onlyashiftinattention.Butgreatadventuresawaityouifyougiveyourselfalittletimetostringmomentsofawarenesstogether,breathbybreath,momenttomoment.

TRY:Stayingwithonefullinbreathasitcomesin,onefulloutbreathasitgoesout,keepingyourmindopenandfreeforjustthismoment,justthisbreath.Abandonallideasofgettingsomewhereorhavinganythinghappen.Justkeepreturningtothebreathwhenthemindwanders,stringingmomentsofmindfulnesstogether,breathbybreath.Tryiteveryonceinawhileasyoureadthisbook.

Kabirsays:Student,tellme,whatisGod?Heisthebreathinsidethebreath.

KABIR

Practice,Practice,Practice

Ithelpstokeepatit.Asyoubeginbefriendingyourbreath,youseeimmediatelythatunawarenessiseverywhere.Yourbreathteachesyouthatnotonlydoesunawarenessgowiththeterritory,itistheterritory.Itdoesthisbyshowingyou,overandoveragain,thatit’snotsoeasytostaywiththebreathevenifyouwantto.Lotsofthingsintrude,carryusoff,preventusfromconcentrating.Weseethatthemindhasgottenclutteredovertheyears,likeanattic,witholdbagsandaccumulatedjunk.Justknowingthisisabigstepintherightdirection.

PracticeDoesNotMeanRehearsal

Weusetheword“practice”todescribethecultivationofmindfulness,butitisnotmeantintheusualsenseofarepetitiverehearsingtogetbetterandbettersothataperformanceoracompetitionwillgoaswellaspossible.

Mindfulnesspracticemeansthatwecommitfullyineachmomenttobeingpresent.Thereisno“performance.”Thereisjustthismoment.Wearenottryingtoimproveortogetanywhereelse.Wearenotevenrunningafterspecialinsightsorvisions.Norareweforcingourselvestobenon-judgmental,calm,orrelaxed.Andwearecertainlynotpromotingself-consciousnessorindulginginself-preoccupation.Rather,wearesimplyinvitingourselvestointerfacewiththismomentinfullawareness,withtheintentiontoembodyasbestwecananorientationofcalmness,mindfulness,andequanimityrighthereandrightnow.

Ofcourse,withcontinuedpracticeandtherightkindoffirmyetgentleeffort,calmnessandmindfulnessandequanimitydevelopanddeepenontheirown,outofyourcommitmenttodwellinstillnessandtoobservewithoutreactingandwithoutjudging.Realizationsandinsights,profoundexperiencesofstillnessandjoy,docome.Butitwouldbeincorrecttosaythatwearepracticingtomaketheseexperienceshappenorthathavingmoreofthemisbetterthanhavingfewerofthem.

Thespiritofmindfulnessistopracticeforitsownsake,andjusttotakeeachmomentasitcomes—pleasantorunpleasant,good,bad,orugly—andthenworkwiththatbecauseitiswhatispresentnow.Withthisattitude,lifeitselfbecomespractice.Then,ratherthandoingpractice,itmightbetterbesaidthatthepracticeisdoingyou,orthatlifeitselfbecomesyourmeditationteacherandyourguide.

YouDon’tHavetoGoOutofYourWaytoPractice

HenryDavidThoreau’stwoyearsatWaldenPondwereaboveallapersonalexperimentinmindfulness.Hechosetoputhislifeonthelineinordertorevelinthewonderandsimplicityofpresentmoments.Butyoudon’thavetogooutofyourwayorfindsomeplacespecialtopracticemindfulness.Itissufficienttomakealittletimeinyourlifeforstillnessandwhatwecallnon-doing,andthentuneintoyourbreathing.

AllofWaldenPondiswithinyourbreath.Themiracleofthechangingseasonsiswithinthebreath;yourparentsandyourchildrenarewithinthebreath;yourbodyandyourmindarewithinthebreath.Thebreathisthecurrentconnectingbodyandmind,connectinguswithourparentsandourchildren,connectingourbodywiththeouterworld’sbody.Itisthecurrentoflife.Therearenothingbutgoldenfishinthisstream.Allweneedtoseethemclearlyisthelensofawareness.

TimeisbutthestreamIgoa-fishingin.Idrinkatit;butwhileIdrink,Iseethesandybottomanddetecthowshallowitis.Itsthincurrentslidesaway,buteternityremains.Iwoulddrinkdeeper;fishinthesky,whosebottomispebblywithstars.

THOREAU,Walden

Ineternitythereisindeedsomethingtrueandsublime.Butallthesetimesandplacesandoccasionsarenowandhere.Godhimselfculminatesinthepresentmoment,andwillneverbemoredivineinthelapseofalltheages.

THOREAU,Walden

WakingUp

Takingupaformalmeditationpracticebymakingsometimeforiteachdaydoesn’tmeanthatyouwon’tbeabletothinkanymore,orthatyoucan’trunaroundorgetthingsdone.Itmeansthatyouaremorelikelytoknowwhatyouaredoingbecauseyouhavestoppedforawhileandwatched,listened,understood.

ThoreausawthiseversoclearlyatWaldenPond.Hisclosingmessage:“Onlythatdaydawnstowhichweareawake.”Ifwearetograsptherealityofourlifewhilewehaveit,wewillneedtowakeuptoourmoments.Otherwise,wholedays,evenawholelife,couldslippastunnoticed.

Onepracticalwaytodothisistolookatotherpeopleandaskyourselfifyouarereallyseeingthemorjustyourthoughtsaboutthem.Sometimesourthoughtsactlikedreamglasses.Whenwehavethemon,weseedreamchildren,dreamhusband,dreamwife,dreamjob,dreamcolleagues,dreampartners,dreamfriends.Wecanliveinadreampresentforadreamfuture.Withoutknowingit,wearecoloringeverything,puttingourspinonitall.Whilethingsinthedreammaychangeandgivetheillusionofbeingvividandreal,itisstilladreamwearecaughtin.Butifwetakeofftheglasses,maybe,justmaybe,wemightseealittlemoreaccuratelywhatisactuallyhere.

Thoreaufelttheneedtogooffonasolitaryretreatforanextendedperiodoftime(hestayedtwoyearsandtwomonthsatWaldenPond)todothis.“IwenttothewoodsbecauseIwishedtolivedeliberately,tofrontonlytheessentialfactsoflife,andseeifIcouldnotlearnwhatithadtoteach,andnot,whenIcametodie,discoverthatIhadnotlived.”

Hisdeepestconviction:“Toaffectthequalityoftheday,thatisthehighestofarts….Ihaveneveryetmetamanwhowasquiteawake.HowcouldIhavelookedhimintheface?”

TRY:Askingyourselffromtimetotime,“AmIawakenow?”

Myinside,listentome,thegreatestspirit,theTeacher,isnear,wakeup,wakeup!

Runtohisfeet—heisstandingclosetoyourheadrightnow.Youhavesleptformillionsandmillionsofyears.Whynotwakeupthismorning?

KABIR

KeepingItSimple

Ifyoudodecidetostartmeditating,there’snoneedtotellotherpeopleaboutit,ortalkaboutwhyyouaredoingitorwhatit’sdoingforyou.Infact,thereisnobetterwaytowasteyournascentenergyandenthusiasmforpracticeandthwartyoureffortssotheywillbeunabletogathermomentum.Besttomeditatewithoutadvertisingit.

Everytimeyougetastrongimpulsetotalkaboutmeditationandhowwonderfulitis,orhowharditis,orwhatit’sdoingforyouthesedays,orwhatit’snot,oryouwanttoconvincesomeoneelsehowwonderfulitwouldbeforthem,justlookatitasmorethinkingandgomeditatesomemore.Theimpulsewillpassandeverybodywillbebetteroff—especiallyyou.

YouCan’tStoptheWavesbutYouCanLearntoSurf

Itisacommonlyheldviewthatmeditationisawaytoshutoffthepressuresoftheworldorofyourownmind,butthisisnotanaccurateimpression.Meditationisneithershuttingthingsoutnoroff.Itisseeingthingsclearly,anddeliberatelypositioningyourselfdifferentlyinrelationshiptothem.

Peoplewhocometoourclinicquicklylearnthatstressisaninevitablepartoflife.Whileitistruethatwecanlearn,bymakingintelligentchoices,nottomakethingsworseforourselvesincertainways,therearemanythingsinlifeoverwhichwehavelittleornocontrol.Stressispartoflife,partofbeinghuman,intrinsictothehumanconditionitself.Butthatdoesnotmeanthatwehavetobevictimsinthefaceoflargeforcesinourlives.Wecanlearntoworkwiththem,understandthem,findmeaninginthem,makecriticalchoices,andusetheirenergiestogrowinstrength,wisdom,andcompassion.Awillingnesstoembraceandworkwithwhatisliesatthecoreofallmeditationpractice.

Onewaytoenvisionhowmindfulnessworksistothinkofyourmindasthesurfaceofalakeoroftheocean.Therearealwayswavesonthewater.Sometimestheyarebig,sometimestheyaresmall,andsometimestheyarealmostimperceptible.Thewater’swavesarechurnedupbywinds,whichcomeandgoandvaryindirectionandintensity,justasdothewindsofstressandchangeinourlives,whichstirupwavesinourminds.

Peoplewhodon’tunderstandmeditationthinkthatitissomekindofspecialinnermanipulationwhichwillmagicallyshutoffthesewavessothatthemind’ssurfacewillbeflat,peaceful,andtranquil.Butjustasyoucan’tputaglassplateonthewatertocalmthewaves,soyoucan’tartificiallysuppressthewavesofyourmind,anditisnottoosmarttotry.Itwillonlycreatemoretensionandinnerstruggle,notcalmness.Thatdoesn’tmeanthatcalmnessisunattainable.It’sjustthatitcannotbeattainedbymisguidedattemptstosuppressthemind’snaturalactivity.

Itispossiblethroughmeditationtofindshelterfrommuchofthewindthatagitatesthemind.Overtime,agooddealoftheturbulencemaydiedownfromlackofcontinuousfeeding.Butultimatelythewindsoflifeandofthemindwillblow,dowhatwemay.Meditationisaboutknowingsomethingaboutthisandhowtoworkwithit.

Thespiritofmindfulnesspracticewasnicelycapturedinaposterofaseventy-ishyogi,SwamiSatchitananda,infullwhitebeardandflowingrobesatopasurfboardridingthewavesoffaHawaiianbeach.Thecaptionread:“Youcan’tstopthewaves,butyoucanlearntosurf.”

CanAnybodyMeditate?

Igetaskedthisquestionalot.Isuspectpeopleaskbecausetheythinkthatprobablyeverybodyelsecanmeditatebuttheycan’t.Theywanttobereassuredthattheyarenotalone,thatthereareatleastsomeotherpeopletheycanidentifywith,thosehaplesssoulswhowerebornincapableofmeditating.Butitisn’tsosimple.

Thinkingyouareunabletomeditateisalittlelikethinkingyouareunabletobreathe,ortoconcentrateorrelax.Prettymucheverybodycanbreatheeasily.Andundertherightcircumstances,prettymuchanybodycanconcentrate,anybodycanrelax.

Peopleoftenconfusemeditationwithrelaxationorsomeotherspecialstatethatyouhavetogettoorfeel.Whenonceortwiceyoutryandyoudon’tgetanywhereoryoudidn’tfeelanythingspecial,thenyouthinkyouareoneofthosepeoplewhocan’tdoit.

But,meditationisnotaboutfeelingacertainway.It’saboutfeelingthewayyoufeel.It’snotaboutmakingthemindemptyorstill,althoughstillnessdoesdeepeninmeditationandcanbecultivatedsystematically.Aboveall,meditationisaboutlettingthemindbeasitisandknowingsomethingabouthowitisinthismoment.It’snotaboutgettingsomewhereelse,butaboutallowingyourselftobewhereyoualreadyare.Ifyoudon’tunderstandthis,youwillthinkyouareconstitutionallyunabletomeditate.Butthat’sjustmorethinking,andinthiscase,incorrectthinkingatthat.

True,meditationdoesrequireenergyandacommitmenttostickwithit.Butthen,wouldn’titbemoreaccuratetosay,“Iwon’tstickwithit,”ratherthan,“Ican’tdoit”?Anybodycansitdownandwatchtheirbreathorwatchtheirmind.Andyoudon’thavetobesitting.Youcoulddoitwalking,standing,lyingdown,standingononeleg,running,ortakingabath.Buttostayatitforevenfiveminutesrequiresintentionality.Tomakeitpartofyourliferequiressomediscipline.Sowhenpeoplesaytheycan’tmeditate,whattheyreallymeanisthattheywon’tmaketimeforit,orthatwhentheytry,theydon’tlikewhathappens.Itisn’twhattheyarelookingfororhopingfor.Itdoesn’tfulfilltheirexpectations.Somaybetheyshouldtryagain,thistimelettinggooftheirexpectationsandjustwatching.

InPraiseofNon-Doing

Ifyousitdowntomeditate,evenforamoment,itwillbeatimefornon-doing.Itisveryimportantnottothinkthatthisnon-doingissynonymouswithdoingnothing.Theycouldn’tbemoredifferent.Consciousnessandintentionmatterhere.Infact,theyarekey.

Onthesurface,itseemsasiftheremightbetwokindsofnon-doing,oneinvolvingnotdoinganyoutwardwork,theotherinvolvingwhatwemightcalleffortlessactivity.Ultimatelywecometoseethattheyarethesame.Itistheinwardexperiencethatcountshere.Whatwefrequentlycallformalmeditationinvolvespurposefullymakingatimeforstoppingalloutwardactivityandcultivatingstillness,withnoagendaotherthanbeingfullypresentineachmoment.Notdoinganything.Perhapssuchmomentsofnon-doingarethegreatestgiftonecangiveoneself.

Thoreauwouldoftensitinhisdoorwayforhoursandjustwatch,justlisten,asthesunmovedacrosstheskyandthelightandshadowschangedimperceptibly:

ThereweretimeswhenIcouldnotaffordtosacrificethebloomofthepresentmomenttoanywork,whetheroftheheadorhand.Iloveabroadmargintomylife.Sometimes,inasummermorning,havingtakenmyaccustomedbath,Isatinmysunnydoorwayfromsunrisetillnoon,raptinarevery,amidstthepinesandhickoriesandsumachs,inundisturbedsolitudeandstillness,whilethebirdssangaroundorflittednoiselessthoughthehouse,untilbythesunfallinginatmywestwindow,orthenoiseofsometraveller’swagononthedistanthighway,Iwasremindedofthelapseoftime.Igrewinthoseseasonslikecorninthenight,andtheywerefarbetterthananyworkofthehandswouldhavebeen.Theywerenottimesubtractedfrommylife,butsomuchoverandabovemyusualallowance.IrealizedwhattheOrientalsmeanbycontemplationandtheforsakingofworks.Forthemostpart,Imindednothowthehourswent.Thedayadvancedasiftolightsomeworkofmine;itwasmorning,andlo,nowitisevening,andnothingmemorableisaccomplished.Insteadofsinging,likethebirds,Isilentlysmiledatmyincessantgoodfortune.Asthesparrowhaditstrill,sittingonthehickorybeforemydoor,soIhadmychuckleorsuppressedwarblewhichhemighthearoutofmynest.

THOREAU,Walden

TRY:Recognizingthebloomofthepresentmomentinyourdailymeditationpracticeifyouhaveone.Ifyouareupearlyinthemorning,trygoingoutsideandlooking(asustained,mindful,attentivelooking)atthestars,atthemoon,atthedawninglightwhenitcomes.Feeltheair,thecold,thewarmth(asustained,mindful,attentivefeeling).Realizethattheworldaroundyouissleeping.Rememberwhenyouseethestarsthatyouarelookingbackintimemillionsofyears.Thepastispresentnowandhere.

Thengoandsitormeditatelyingdown.Letthisoranytimeyoupracticebeyourtimeforlettinggoofalldoing,forshiftingintothebeingmode,inwhichyousimplydwellinstillnessandmindfulness,attendingtothemoment-to-momentunfoldingofthepresent,addingnothing,subtractingnothing,affirmingthat“Thisisit.”

TheNon-DoingParadox

Theflavorandthesheerjoyofnon-doingaredifficultforAmericanstograspbecauseourcultureplacessomuchvalueondoingandonprogress.Evenourleisuretendstobebusyandmindless.Thejoyofnon-doingisthatnothingelseneedstohappenforthismomenttobecomplete.Thewisdominit,andtheequanimitythatcomesoutofit,lieinknowingthatsomethingelsesurelywill.

WhenThoreausays,“itwasmorning,andlo,nowitisevening,andnothingmemorableisaccomplished,”thisiswavingaredflaginfrontofabullforgo-getting,progress-orientedpeople.Butwhoistosaythathisrealizationsofonemorningspentinhisdoorwayarelessmemorableorhavelessmeritthanalifetimeofbusyness,livedwithscantappreciationforstillnessandthebloomofthepresentmoment?

Thoreauwassingingasongwhichneededhearingthenasitdoesnow.Heis,tothisday,continuallypointingout,foranyonewillingtolisten,thedeepimportanceofcontemplationandofnon-attachmenttoanyresultotherthanthesheerenjoymentofbeing,all“farbetterthananyworkofthehandswouldhavebeen.”ThisviewrecallstheoldZenmasterwhosaid,“Hoho.ForfortyyearsIhavebeensellingwaterbytheriverandmyeffortsaretotallywithoutmerit.”

Itreeksofparadox.Theonlywayyoucandoanythingofvalueistohavetheeffortcomeoutofnon-doingandtoletgoofcaringwhetheritwillbeofuseornot.Otherwise,self-involvementandgreedinesscansneakinanddistortyourrelationshiptothework,ortheworkitself,sothatitisoffinsomeway,biased,impure,andultimatelynotcompletelysatisfying,evenifitisgood.Goodscientistsknowthismindstateandguardagainstitbecauseitinhibitsthecreativeprocessanddistortsone’sabilitytoseeconnectionsclearly.

Non-DoinginAction

Non-doingcanarisewithinactionaswellasinstillness.Theinwardstillnessofthedoermergeswiththeoutwardactivitytosuchanextentthattheactiondoesitself.Effortlessactivity.Nothingisforced.Thereisnoexertionofthewill,nosmall-minded“I,”“me,”or“mine”tolayclaimtoaresult,yetnothingisleftundone.Non-doingisacornerstoneofmasteryinanyrealmofactivity.Here’saclassicstatementofitfromthird-centuryChina:

PrinceWenHui’scookWascuttingupanox.Outwentahand,Downwentashoulder,Heplantedafoot,Hepressedwithaknee,TheoxfellapartWithawhisper,ThebrightcleavermurmuredLikeagentlewind.Rhythm!Timing!Likeasacreddance,Like“TheMulberryGrove,”Likeancientharmonies!

“Goodwork!”thePrinceexclaimed,“Yourmethodisfaultless!”“Method?”saidthecookLayingasidehiscleaver,“WhatIfollowisTaoBeyondallmethods!

“WhenIfirstbeganTocutupoxenIwouldseebeforemeThewholeoxAllinonemass.AfterthreeyearsInolongersawthismass.Isawthedistinctions.

“ButnowIseenothingWiththeeye.Mywholebeing

Apprehends.Mysensesareidle.ThespiritFreetoworkwithoutplanFollowsitsowninstinctGuidedbynaturalline,Bythesecretopening,thehiddenspace,Mycleaverfindsitsownway.Icutthroughnojoint,chopnobone.

“Therearespacesinthejoints;Thebladeisthinandkeen:WhenthisthinnessFindsthatspaceThereisalltheroomyouneed!Itgoeslikeabreeze!HenceIhavethiscleavernineteenyearsAsifnewlysharpened!

“True,therearesometimesToughjoints.Ifeelthemcoming,Islowdown,Iwatchclosely,Holdback,barelymovetheblade,Andwhump!thepartfallsawayLandinglikeaclodofearth.

“ThenIwithdrawtheblade,IstandstillAndletthejoyoftheworkSinkin.IcleanthebladeAndputitaway.”PrinceWenHuisaid,“Thisisit!MycookhasshownmeHowIoughttoliveMyownlife!”

CHUANGTZU

DoingNon-Doing

Non-doinghasnothingtodowithbeingindolentorpassive.Quitethecontrary.Ittakesgreatcourageandenergytocultivatenon-doing,bothinstillnessandinactivity.Norisiteasytomakeaspecialtimefornon-doingandtokeepatitinthefaceofeverythinginourliveswhichneedstobedone.

Butnon-doingdoesn’thavetobethreateningtopeoplewhofeeltheyalwayshavetogetthingsdone.Theymightfindtheygetevenmore“done,”anddonebetter,bypracticingnon-doing.Non-doingsimplymeanslettingthingsbeandallowingthemtounfoldintheirownway.Enormouseffortcanbeinvolved,butitisagraceful,knowledgeable,effortlesseffort,a“doerlessdoing,”cultivatedoveralifetime.

Effortlessactivityhappensatmomentsindanceandinsportsatthehighestlevelsofperformance;whenitdoes,ittakeseverybody’sbreathaway.Butitalsohappensineveryareaofhumanactivity,frompaintingtocarrepairtoparenting.Yearsofpracticeandexperiencecombineonsomeoccasions,givingrisetoanewcapacitytoletexecutionunfoldbeyondtechnique,beyondexertion,beyondthinking.Actionthenbecomesapureexpressionofart,ofbeing,oflettinggoofalldoing—amergingofmindandbodyinmotion.Wethrillinwatchingasuperbperformance,whetherathleticorartistic,becauseitallowsustoparticipateinthemagicoftruemastery,tobeuplifted,ifonlybriefly,andperhapstoshareintheintentionthateachofus,inourownway,mighttouchsuchmomentsofgraceandharmonyinthelivingofourownlives.

Thoreausaid,“Toaffectthequalityoftheday,thatisthehighestofarts.”MarthaGraham,speakingoftheartofdance,putitthisway:“Allthatisimportantisthisonemomentinmovement.Makethemomentvitalandworthliving.Donotletitslipawayunnoticedandunused.”

Nomeditationmasterscouldhavespokentruer.Wecanapprenticeourselvestothiswork,knowingfullwellthatnon-doingistrulytheworkofalifetime;andconsciousallthewhilethatthedoingmodeisusuallysostronginusthatthecultivatingofnon-doingironicallytakesconsiderableeffort.

Meditationissynonymouswiththepracticeofnon-doing.Wearen’tpracticingtomakethingsperfectortodothingsperfectly.Rather,wepracticetograspandrealize(makerealforourselves)thefactthatthingsalreadyareperfect,perfectlywhattheyare.Thishaseverythingtodowithholdingthepresentmomentinitsfullnesswithoutimposinganythingextraonit,perceivingitspurityandthefreshnessofitspotentialtogiverisetothenextmoment.Then,knowingwhatiswhat,seeingasclearlyaspossible,andconsciousofnotknowingmorethanweactuallydo,weact,makeamove,takeastand,takeachance.Somepeoplespeakofthisasflow,onemomentflowingseamlessly,effortlesslyintothenext,cradledinthestreambedofmindfulness.

TRY:Duringtheday,seeifyoucandetectthebloomofthepresentmomentineverymoment,the

ordinaryones,the“in-between”ones,eventhehardones.Workatallowingmorethingstounfoldinyourlifewithoutforcingthemtohappenandwithoutrejectingtheonesthatdon’tfityourideaofwhat“should”behappening.Seeifyoucansensethe“spaces”throughwhichyoumightmovewithnoeffortinthespiritofChuangTzu’scook.Noticehowifyoucanmakesometimeearlyinthedayforbeing,withnoagenda,itcanchangethequalityoftherestofyourday.Byaffirmingfirstwhatisprimaryinyourownbeing,seeifyoudon’tgetamindfuljumponthewholedayandwindupmorecapableofsensing,appreciating,andrespondingtothebloomofeachmoment.

Patience

Certainattitudesormentalqualitiessupportmeditationpracticeandprovidearichsoilinwhichtheseedsofmindfulnesscanflourish.Bypurposefullycultivatingthesequalities,weareactuallytillingthesoilofourownmindandensuringthatitcanserveasasourceofclarity,compassion,andrightactioninourlives.

Theseinnerqualitieswhichsupportmeditationpracticecannotbeimposed,legislated,ordecreed.Theycanonlybecultivated,andthisonlywhenyouhavereachedthepointwhereyourinnermotivationisstrongenoughtowanttoceasecontributingtoyourownsufferingandconfusionandperhapstothatofothers.Itamountstobehavingethically—asorelymalignedconceptinmanycircles.

Ontheradio,Iheardsomeonedefineethicsas“obediencetotheunenforceable.”Notbad.Youdoitforinnerreasons,notbecausesomeoneiskeepingscore,orbecauseyoumightbepunishedifyoubreaktherulesandgetcaught.Youaremarchingtothebeatofyourowndrummer.Itisaninnerhearingyouareattendingto,justasitisaninnersoilthatisbeingtilledforthecultivationofmindfulness.Butyoucannothaveharmonywithoutacommitmenttoethicalbehavior.It’sthefencethatkeepsoutthegoatsthatwilleatalltheyoungshootsinyourgarden.

Iseepatienceasoneofthesefundamentalethicalattitudes.Ifyoucultivatepatience,youalmostcan’thelpcultivatingmindfulness,andyourmeditationpracticewillgraduallybecomericherandmoremature.Afterall,ifyoureallyaren’ttryingtogetanywhereelseinthismoment,patiencetakescareofitself.Itisarememberingthatthingsunfoldintheirowntime.Theseasonscannotbehurried.Springcomes,thegrassgrowsbyitself.Beinginahurryusuallydoesn’thelp,anditcancreateagreatdealofsuffering—sometimesinus,sometimesinthosewhohavetobearoundus.

Patienceisaneverpresentalternativetothemind’sendemicrestlessnessandimpatience.Scratchthesurfaceofimpatienceandwhatyouwillfindlyingbeneathit,subtlyornotsosubtly,isanger.It’sthestrongenergyofnotwantingthingstobethewaytheyareandblamingsomeone(oftenyourself)orsomethingforit.Thisdoesn’tmeanyoucan’thurrywhenyouhaveto.Itispossibleeventohurrypatiently,mindfully,movingfastbecauseyouhavechosento.

Fromtheperspectiveofpatience,thingshappenbecauseotherthingshappen.Nothingisseparateandisolated.Thereisnoabsolute,end-of-the-line,the-buck-stops-hererootcause.Ifsomeonehitsyouwithastick,youdon’tgetangryatthestickoratthearmthatswungit;yougetangryatthepersonattachedtothearm.Butifyoulookalittledeeper,youcan’tfindasatisfactoryrootcauseorplaceforyourangerevenintheperson,wholiterallydoesn’tknowwhatheisdoingandisthereforeoutofhismindatthatmoment.Whereshouldtheblamelie,orthepunishment?Maybeweshouldbeangryattheperson’sparentsfortheabusetheymayhaveshoweredonadefenselesschild.Ormaybeattheworldforitslackofcompassion.Butwhatistheworld?Areyounotapartofthatworld?Donotyouyourselfhaveangryimpulsesandundersomeconditionsfindyourselfintouchwithviolent,evenmurderousimpulses?

TheDalaiLamashowsnoangertowardtheChinese,eventhoughthepolicyoftheChinesegovernmentforyearshasbeentopracticegenocidetowardTibetans,culturicidetowardtheirinstitutions,beliefs,andeverythingtheyholddear,andgeocidetowardtheverylandtheyliveon.WhenaskedabouthisapparentlackofangertowardtheChinesebyanincredulousreporteratthetimehewontheNobelPeacePrize,theDalaiLamarepliedsomethingtotheeffectthat:“Theyhavetakeneverythingfromus;

shouldIletthemtakemymindaswell?”Thisattitudeisitselfaremarkabledisplayofpeace…theinnerpeaceofknowingwhatismost

fundamental,andtheouterpeaceofembodyingthatwisdomincarriageandaction.Peace,andawillingnesstobepatientinthefaceofsuchenormousprovocationandsuffering,canonlycomeaboutthroughtheinnercultivationofcompassion,acompassionthatisnotlimitedtofriends,butisfeltequallyforthosewho,outofignoranceandoftenseenasevil,maycauseyouandthoseyoulovetosuffer.

ThatdegreeofselflesscompassionisbasedonwhatBuddhistscall“rightmindfulness”and“rightunderstanding.”Itdoesn’tjustspringupspontaneously.Itneedstobepracticed,cultivated.It’snotthatfeelingsofangerdon’tarise.It’sthattheangercanbeused,workedwith,harnessedsothatitsenergiescannourishpatience,compassion,harmony,andwisdominourselvesandperhapsinothersaswell.

Intakingupmeditation,wearecultivatingthequalityofpatienceeverytimewestopandsitandbecomeawareoftheflowofourownbreathing.Andthisinvitationtoourselvestobemoreopen,moreintouch,morepatientwithourmomentsnaturallyextendsitselftoothertimesinourlivesaswell.Weknowthatthingsunfoldaccordingtotheirownnature.Wecanremembertoletourlivesunfoldinthesameway.Wedon’thavetoletouranxietiesandourdesireforcertainresultsdominatethequalityofthemoment,evenwhenthingsarepainful.Whenwehavetopush,wepush.Whenwehavetopull,wepull.Butweknowwhennottopushtoo,andwhennottopull.

Throughitall,weattempttobringbalancetothepresentmoment,understandingthatinpatiencelieswisdom,knowingthatwhatwillcomenextwillbedeterminedinlargemeasurebyhowwearenow.Thisishelpfultokeepinmindwhenwegetimpatientinourmeditationpractice,orwhenwegetfrustrated,impatient,andangryinourlives.

Doyouhavethepatiencetowaittillyourmudsettlesandthewaterisclear?Canyouremainunmovingtilltherightactionarisesbyitself?

LAO-TZU,Tao-te-Ching

IexistasIam,thatisenough,IfnootherintheworldbeawareIsitcontent,AndifeachandallbeawareIsitcontent.

Oneworldisaware,andbyfarthelargesttome,andthatismyself,AndwhetherIcometomyowntodayorintenthousandortenmillionyears,Icancheerfullytakeitnow,orwithequalcheerfulness,Icanwait.

WALTWHITMAN,LeavesofGrass

TRY:Lookingintoimpatienceandangerwhentheyarise.Seeifyoucanadoptadifferentperspective,onewhichseesthingsasunfoldingintheirowntime.Thisisespeciallyusefulwhenyouarefeelingunderpressureandblockedorstymiedinsomethingyouwantorneedtodo.Hardasitmayseem,trynottopushtheriverinthatmomentbutlistencarefullytoitinstead.Whatdoesittellyou?Whatisit

tellingyoutodo?Ifnothing,thenjustbreathe,letthingsbeastheyare,letgointopatience,continuelistening.Iftherivertellsyousomething,thendoit,butdoitmindfully.Thenpause,waitpatiently,listenagain.

Asyouattendthegentleflowofyourownbreathingduringtimesofformalmeditationpractice,noticetheoccasionalpullofthemindtogetontosomethingelse,towanttofillupyourtimeorchangewhatishappening.Insteadoflosingyourselfatthesetimes,trytositpatientlywiththebreathandwithakeenawarenessofwhatisunfoldingineachmoment,allowingittounfoldasitwill,withoutimposinganythingonit…justwatching,justbreathing…embodyingstillness,becomingpatience.

LettingGo

Thephrase“lettinggo”hastobehighintherunningforNewAgeclichéofthecentury.Itisoverused,abuseddaily.Yetitissuchapowerfulinwardmaneuverthatitmeritslookinginto,clichéorno.Thereissomethingvitallyimportanttobelearnedfromthepracticeoflettinggo.

Lettinggomeansjustwhatitsays.It’saninvitationtoceaseclingingtoanything—whetheritbeanidea,athing,anevent,aparticulartime,orview,ordesire.Itisaconsciousdecisiontoreleasewithfullacceptanceintothestreamofpresentmomentsastheyareunfolding.Toletgomeanstogiveupcoercing,resisting,orstruggling,inexchangeforsomethingmorepowerfulandwholesomewhichcomesoutofallowingthingstobeastheyarewithoutgettingcaughtupinyourattractiontoorrejectionofthem,intheintrinsicstickinessofwanting,oflikinganddisliking.It’sakintolettingyourpalmopentounhandsomethingyouhavebeenholdingonto.

Butit’snotonlythestickinessofourdesiresconcerningoutereventswhichcatchesus.Norisitonlyaholdingonwithourhands.Weholdonwithourminds.Wecatchourselves,getstuckourselves,byholding,oftendesperately,tonarrowviews,toself-servinghopesandwishes.Lettinggoreallyreferstochoosingtobecometransparenttothestrongpullofourownlikesanddislikes,andoftheunawarenessthatdrawsustoclingtothem.Tobetransparentrequiresthatweallowfearsandinsecuritiestoplaythemselvesoutinthefieldoffullawareness.

Lettinggoisonlypossibleifwecanbringawarenessandacceptancetothenitty-grittyofjusthowstuckwecanget,ifweallowourselvestorecognizethelensesweslipsounconsciouslybetweenobserverandobservedthatthenfilterandcolor,bendandshapeourview.Wecanopeninthosestickymoments,especiallyifweareabletocapturetheminawarenessandrecognizeitwhenwegetcaughtupineitherpursuingandclingingorcondemningandrejectinginseekingourowngain.

Stillness,insight,andwisdomariseonlywhenwecansettleintobeingcompleteinthismoment,withouthavingtoseekorholdontoorrejectanything.Thisisatestableproposition.Tryitoutjustforfun.Seeforyourselfwhetherlettinggowhenapartofyoureallywantstoholdondoesn’tbringadeepersatisfactionthanclinging.

Non-Judging

Itdoesn’ttakelonginmeditationtodiscoverthatpartofourmindisconstantlyevaluatingourexperiences,comparingthemwithotherexperiencesorholdingthemupagainstexpectationsandstandardsthatwecreate,oftenoutoffear.FearthatI’mnotgoodenough,thatbadthingswillhappen,thatgoodthingswon’tlast,thatotherpeoplemighthurtme,thatIwon’tgetmyway,thatonlyIknowanything,thatI’mtheonlyonewhodoesn’tknowanything.Wetendtoseethingsthroughtintedglasses:throughthelensofwhethersomethingisgoodformeorbadforme,orwhetherornotitconformstomybeliefsorphilosophy.Ifitisgood,Ilikeit.Ifitisbad,Idon’tlikeit.Ifitisneither,Ihavenofeelingsaboutitonewayortheother,andmayhardlynoticeitatall.

Whenyoudwellinstillness,thejudgingmindcancomethroughlikeafoghorn.Idon’tlikethepaininmyknee….Thisisboring….Ilikethisfeelingofstillness;Ihadagoodmeditationyesterday,buttodayI’mhavingabadmeditation….It’snotworkingforme.I’mnogoodatthis.I’mnogood,period.Thistypeofthinkingdominatesthemindandweighsitdown.It’slikecarryingaroundasuitcasefullofrocksonyourhead.Itfeelsgoodtoputitdown.Imaginehowitmightfeeltosuspendallyourjudgingandinsteadtoleteachmomentbejustasitis,withoutattemptingtoevaluateitas“good”or“bad.”Thiswouldbeatruestillness,atrueliberation.

Meditationmeanscultivatinganon-judgingattitudetowardwhatcomesupinthemind,comewhatmay.Withoutit,youarenotpracticingmeditation.Thatdoesn’tmeanjudgingwon’tbegoingon.Ofcourseitwill,becauseitisintheverynatureofthemindtocompareandjudgeandevaluate.Whenitoccurs,wedon’ttrytostopitorignoreit,anymorethanwewouldtrytostopanyotherthoughtsthatmightcomethroughourmind.

Thetackwetakeinmeditationissimplytowitnesswhatevercomesupinthemindorthebodyandtorecognizeitwithoutcondemningitorpursuingit,knowingthatourjudgmentsareunavoidableandnecessarilylimitingthoughtsaboutexperience.Whatweareinterestedininmeditationisdirectcontactwiththeexperienceitself—whetheritisofaninbreath,anoutbreath,asensationorfeeling,asound,animpulse,athought,aperception,orajudgment.Andweremainattentivetothepossibilityofgettingcaughtupinjudgingthejudgingitself,orinlabelingsomejudgmentsgoodandothersbad.

Whileourthinkingcolorsallourexperience,moreoftenthannotourthoughtstendtobelessthancompletelyaccurate.Usuallytheyaremerelyuninformedprivateopinions,reactionsandprejudicesbasedonlimitedknowledgeandinfluencedprimarilybyourpastconditioning.Allthesame,whennotrecognizedassuchandnamed,ourthinkingcanpreventusfromseeingclearlyinthepresentmoment.Wegetcaughtupinthinkingweknowwhatweareseeingandfeeling,andinprojectingourjudgmentsoutontoeverythingweseeoffahairlinetrigger.Justbeingfamiliarwiththisdeeplyentrenchedpatternandwatchingitasithappenscanleadtogreaternon-judgmentalreceptivityandacceptance.

Anon-judgingorientationcertainlydoesnotmeanthatyouceaseknowinghowtoactorbehaveresponsiblyinsociety,orthatanythinganybodydoesisokay.Itsimplymeansthatwecanactwithmuchgreaterclarityinourownlives,andbemorebalanced,moreeffective,andmoreethicalinouractivities,ifweknowthatweareimmersedinastreamofunconsciouslikinganddislikingwhichscreensusfromtheworldandfromthebasicpurityofourownbeing.Themindstatesoflikinganddislikingcantakeuppermanentresidencyinus,unconsciouslyfeedingaddictivebehaviorsinalldomainsoflife.Whenweare

abletorecognizeandnametheseedsofgreedinessorcraving,howeversubtle,inthemind’sconstantwantingandpursuingofthethingsorresultsthatwelike,andtheseedsofaversionorhatredinourrejectingormaneuveringtoavoidthethingswedon’tlike,thatstopsusforamomentandremindsusthatsuchforcesreallyareatworkinourownmindstooneextentoranotheralmostallthetime.It’snoexaggerationtosaythattheyhaveachronic,viral-liketoxicitythatpreventsusfromseeingthingsastheyactuallyareandmobilizingourtruepotential.

Trust

Trustisafeelingofconfidenceorconvictionthatthingscanunfoldwithinadependableframeworkthatembodiesorderandintegrity.Wemaynotalwaysunderstandwhatishappeningtous,ortoanother,orwhatisoccurringinaparticularsituation;butifwetrustourselves,oranother,orweplaceourtrustinaprocessoranideal,wecanfindapowerfulstabilizingelementembracingsecurity,balance,andopennesswithinthetrustingwhich,insomeway,ifnotbasedonnaivete,intuitivelyguidesusandprotectsusfromharmorself-destruction.

Thefeelingstateoftrustisimportanttocultivateinmindfulnesspractice,forifwedonottrustinourabilitytoobserve,tobeopenandattentive,toreflectuponexperience,togrowandlearnfromobservingandattending,toknowsomethingdeeply,wewillhardlypersevereincultivatinganyoftheseabilities,andsotheywillonlywitherorliedormant.

Partofmindfulnesspracticeistocultivateatrustingheart.Let’sbeginbylookingdeeplyintowhatwecantrustinourselves.Ifwedon’timmediatelyknowwhatthereistotrustinourselves,maybeweneedtolookalittledeeper,todwellalittlelongerwithourselvesinstillnessandinsimplybeing.Ifweareunawareofwhatwearedoingagooddealofthetime,andwedon’tparticularlylikethewaythingsturnoutinourlives,perhapsit’stimetopaycloserattention,tobemoreintouch,toobservethechoiceswemakeandtheirconsequencesdowntheroad.

Perhapswecouldexperimentwithtrustingthepresentmoment,acceptingwhateverwefeelorthinkorseeinthismomentbecausethisiswhatispresentnow.Ifwecantakeastandhere,andletgointothefulltextureofnow,wemayfindthatthisverymomentisworthyofourtrust.Fromsuchexperiments,conductedoverandoveragain,maycomeanewsensethatsomewheredeepwithinusresidesaprofoundlyhealthyandtrustworthycore,andthatourintuitions,asdeepresonancesoftheactualityofthepresentmoment,areworthyofourtrust.

Bestrongthen,andenterintoyourownbody;thereyouhaveasolidplaceforyourfeet.Thinkaboutitcarefully!Don’tgooffsomewhereelse!Kabirsaysthis:justthrowawayallthoughtsofimaginarythings,andstandfirminthatwhichyouare.

KABIR

Generosity

Generosityisanotherqualitywhich,likepatience,lettinggo,non-judging,andtrust,providesasolidfoundationformindfulnesspractice.Youmightexperimentwithusingthecultivationofgenerosityasavehiclefordeepself-observationandinquiryaswellasanexerciseingiving.Agoodplacetostartiswithyourself.Seeifyoucangiveyourselfgiftsthatmaybetrueblessings,suchasself-acceptance,orsometimeeachdaywithnopurpose.Practicefeelingdeservingenoughtoacceptthesegiftswithoutobligation—tosimplyreceivefromyourself,andfromtheuniverse.

Seeifyoucanbeintouchwithacorewithinyouwhichisrichbeyondreckoninginallimportantways.Letthatcorestartradiatingitsenergyoutwardly,throughyourentirebody,andbeyond.Experimentwithgivingawaythisenergy—inlittlewaysatfirst—directingittowardyourselfandtowardotherswithnothoughtofgainorreturn.Givemorethanyouthinkyoucan,trustingthatyouarericherthanyouthink.Celebratethisrichness.Giveasifyouhadinexhaustiblewealth.Thisiscalled“kinglygiving.”

Iamnottalkingsolelyofmoneyormaterialpossessions,althoughitcanbewonderfullygrowth-enhancing,uplifting,andtrulyhelpfultosharematerialabundance.Rather,whatisbeingsuggestedhereisthatyoupracticesharingthefullnessofyourbeing,yourbestself,yourenthusiasm,yourvitality,yourspirit,yourtrust,youropenness,aboveall,yourpresence.Shareitwithyourself,withyourfamily,withtheworld.

TRY:Noticingtheresistancetotheimpulsetogive,theworriesaboutthefuture,thefeelingthatyoumaybegivingtoomuch,orthethoughtthatitwon’tbeappreciated“enough,”orthatyouwillbeexhaustedfromtheeffort,orthatyouwon’tgetanythingoutofit,orthatyoudon’thaveenoughyourself.Considerthepossibilitythatnoneoftheseareactuallytrue,butthattheyarejustformsofinertia,constriction,andfear-basedself-protection.Thesethoughtsandfeelingsaretheroughedgesofself-cherishing,whichrubupagainsttheworldandfrequentlycauseusandotherspainandasenseofdistance,isolation,anddiminishment.Givingsandsdownsuchroughedgesandhelpsusbecomemoremindfulofourinnerwealth.Bypracticingmindfulnessofgenerosity,bygiving,andbyobservingitseffectsonourselvesandothers,wearetransformingourselves,purifyingourselves,discoveringexpandedversionsofourselves.

Youmayprotestthatyoudon’thaveenoughenergyorenthusiasmtogiveanythingaway,thatyouarealreadyfeelingoverwhelmed,orimpoverished.Oryoumayfeelthatallyoudoisgive,give,give,andthatitisjusttakenforgrantedbyothers,notappreciatedorevenseen,orthatyouuseitasawayofhidingfrompainandfear,asawayofmakingsureotherslikeyouorfeeldependentonyou.Suchdifficultpatternsandrelationshipsthemselvescalloutforattentionandcarefulscrutiny.Mindlessgivingisneverhealthyorgenerous.Itisimportanttounderstandyourmotivesforgiving,andtoknowwhensomekindsofgivingarenotadisplayofgenerositybutratheroffearandlackofconfidence.

Inthemindfulcultivationofgenerosity,itisnotnecessarytogiveeverythingaway,orevenanything.Aboveall,generosityisaninwardgiving,afeelingstate,awillingnesstoshareyourownbeingwiththe

world.Mostimportantistotrustandhonoryourinstinctsbut,atthesametime,towalktheedgeandtakesomerisksaspartofyourexperiment.Perhapsyouneedtogiveless,ortotrustyourintuitionaboutexploitationorunhealthymotivesorimpulses.Perhapsyoudoneedtogive,butinadifferentway,ortodifferentpeople.Perhapsmostofall,youneedtogivetoyourselffirstforawhile.Thenyoumighttrygivingothersatinybitmorethanyouthinkyoucan,consciouslynotingandlettinggoofanyideasofgettinganythinginreturn.

Initiategiving.Don’twaitforsomeonetoask.Seewhathappens—especiallytoyou.Youmayfindthatyougainagreaterclarityaboutyourselfandaboutyourrelationships,aswellasmoreenergyratherthanless.Youmayfindthat,ratherthanexhaustingyourselforyourresources,youwillreplenishthem.Suchisthepowerofmindful,selflessgenerosity.Atthedeepestlevel,thereisnogiver,nogift,andnorecipient…onlytheuniverserearrangingitself.

YouHavetoBeStrongEnoughtoBeWeak

Ifyouareastrong-willedandaccomplishedperson,youmayoftengivetheimpressionthatyouareinvulnerabletofeelinginadequateorinsecureorhurt.Thiscanbeveryisolatingandultimatelycauseyouandothersgreatpain.OtherpeoplewillbealltoohappytotakeinthatimpressionandtocolludeinpropagatingitbyprojectingaRockofGibraltarpersonaontoyouwhichdoesn’tallowyoutohaveanyrealfeelings.Infact,youcanalltooeasilygetoutoftouchwithyourowntruefeelingsbehindtheintoxicatingshieldofimageandaura.Thisisolationhappensalottofathersinthenuclearfamilyandtopeopleinpositionsofrelativepowereverywhere.

Thinkingofyourselfasgettingstrongerthroughthemeditationpracticecancreateasimilardilemma.Youcanstartbelievinginandactingoutthepartofthesupremelyinvulnerable,correctmeditator—onewhohaseverythingundercontrolandiswiseenoughtodealwitheverythingwithoutbeingcaughtupinreactiveemotions.Intheprocess,youcancleverlyarrestyourowndevelopmentwithoutevenknowingit.Weallhaveanemotionallife.Wewallourselvesofffromitatourownperil.

So,whenyounoticeyourselfbuildingupanimageofinvincibility,orstrength,orspecialknowledge,orwisdombasedonyourmeditativeexperiences,thinkingperhapsthatyou’regettingsomewhereinyourpractice,andyoustarttalkingalotaboutmeditationinawaythatisself-promotionalandinflationary,it’sagoodideatobringmindfulnesstothatmind-setandtoaskyourselfwhetheryouarerunningfromyourvulnerability,orperhapsfromgriefyoumaybecarrying,orfromfearofsomesort.Ifyouaretrulystrong,thereislittleneedtoemphasizeittoyourselfortoothers.Besttotakeanothertackentirelyanddirectyourattentionwhereyoufearmosttolook.Youcandothisbyallowingyourselftofeel,eventocry,tonothavetohaveopinionsabouteverything,tonotappearinvincibleorunfeelingtoothers,butinsteadtobeintouchwithandappropriatelyopenaboutyourfeelings.Whatlookslikeweaknessisactuallywhereyourstrengthlies.Andwhatlookslikestrengthisoftenweakness,anattempttocoverupfear;thisisanactorafacade,howeverconvincingitmightappeartoothersoreventoyourself.

TRY:Recognizingthewaysinwhichyoumeetobstacleswithharshness.Experimentwithbeingsoft

whenyourimpulseistobehard,generouswhenyourimpulseistobewithholding,openwhenyourimpulseistocloseuporshutdownemotionally.Whenthereisgrieforsadness,trylettingitbehere.Allowyourselftofeelwhateveryouarefeeling.Noticeanylabelsyouattachtocryingorfeelingvulnerable.Letgoofthelabels.Justfeelwhatyouarefeeling,allthewhilecultivatingmoment-to-momentawareness,ridingthewavesof“up”and“down,”“good”and“bad,”“weak”and“strong,”untilyouseethattheyareallinadequatetofullydescribeyourexperience.Bewiththeexperienceitself.Trustinyourdeepeststrengthofall:tobepresent,tobewakeful.

VoluntarySimplicity

Theimpulsefrequentlyarisesinmetosqueezeanotherthisoranotherthatintothismoment.Justthisphonecall,juststoppingoffhereonmywaythere.Nevermindthatitmightbeintheoppositedirection.

I’velearnedtoidentifythisimpulseandmistrustit.Iworkhardatsayingnotoit.Itwouldhavemeeatbreakfastwithmyeyesrivetedtothecerealbox,readingforthehundredthtimethedietarycontentsofthecontents,ortheamazingfreeofferfromthecompany.Thisimpulsedoesn’tcarewhatitfeedson,aslongasit’sfeeding.Thenewspaperisanevenbetterdraw,ortheL.L.Beancatalogue,orwhateverelseisaround.Itscavengestofilltime,conspireswithmymindtokeepmeunconscious,lulledinafogofnumbnesstoacertainextent,justenoughtofilloroverfillmybellywhileIactuallymissbreakfast.Ithasmeunavailabletoothersatthosetimes,missingtheplayoflightonthetable,thesmellsintheroom,theenergiesofthemoment,includingargumentsanddisputes,aswecometogetherbeforegoingourseparatewaysfortheday.

Iliketopracticevoluntarysimplicitytocountersuchimpulsesandmakesurenourishmentcomesatadeeplevel.ItinvolvesintentionallydoingonlyonethingatatimeandmakingsureIamhereforit.Manyoccasionspresentthemselves:takingawalk,forinstance,orspendingafewmomentswiththedoginwhichIamreallywiththedog.Voluntarysimplicitymeansgoingfewerplacesinonedayratherthanmore,seeinglesssoIcanseemore,doinglesssoIcandomore,acquiringlesssoIcanhavemore.Italltiesin.It’snotarealoptionformeasafatherofyoungchildren,abreadwinner,ahusband,anoldestsontomyparents,apersonwhocaresdeeplyabouthisworktogoofftooneWaldenPondoranotherandsitunderatreeforafewyears,listeningtothegrassgrowandtheseasonschange,muchastheimpulsebeckonsattimes.Butwithintheorganizedchaosandcomplexityoffamilylifeandwork,withalltheirdemandsandresponsibilities,frustrationsandunsurpassedgifts,thereisampleopportunityforchoosingsimplicityinsmallways.

Slowingeverythingdownisabigpartofthis.Tellingmymindandbodytostayputwithmydaughterratherthanansweringthephone,notreactingtoinnerimpulsestocallsomeonewho“needscalling”rightinthatmoment,choosingnottoacquirenewthingsonimpulse,oreventoautomaticallyanswerthesirencallofmagazinesortelevisionormoviesonthefirstringareallwaystosimplifyone’slifealittle.Othersaremaybejusttositforaneveninganddonothing,ortoreadabook,orgoforawalkaloneorwithachildorwithmywife,torestackthewoodpileorlookatthemoon,orfeeltheaironmyfaceunderthetrees,orgotosleepearly.

Ipracticesayingnotokeepmylifesimple,andIfindIneverdoitenough.It’sanarduousdisciplineallitsown,andwellworththeeffort.Yetitisalsotricky.Thereareneedsandopportunitiestowhichonemustrespond.Acommitmenttosimplicityinthemidstoftheworldisadelicatebalancingact.Itisalwaysinneedofretuning,furtherinquiry,attention.ButIfind

thenotionofvoluntarysimplicitykeepsmemindfulofwhatisimportant,ofanecologyofmindandbodyandworldinwhicheverythingisinterconnectedandeverychoicehasfar-reachingconsequences.Youdon’tgettocontrolitall.Butchoosingsimplicitywheneverpossibleaddstolifeanelementofdeepestfreedomwhichsoeasilyeludesus,andmanyopportunitiestodiscoverthatlessmayactuallybemore.

Simplicity,simplicity,simplicity!Isayletyouraffairsbeastwoorthree,andnotahundredorathousand;insteadofamillioncounthalfadozen….Inthemidstofthischoppingseaofcivilizedlife,sucharethecloudsandstormsandquicksandsandthethousand-and-oneitemstobeallowedfor,thatamanhastolive,ifhewouldnotfounderandgotothebottomandnotmakehisportatall,bydeadreckoning,andhemustbeagreatcalculatorindeedwhosucceeds.Simplify,Simplify.

THOREAU,Walden

Concentration

Concentrationisacornerstoneofmindfulnesspractice.Yourmindfulnesswillonlybeasrobustasthecapacityofyourmindtobecalmandstable.Withoutcalmness,themirrorofmindfulnesswillhaveanagitatedandchoppysurface,andwillnotbeabletoreflectthingswithanyaccuracy.

Concentrationcanbepracticedeitherhandinhandwithmindfulnessorseparately.Youcanthinkofconcentrationasthecapacityofthemindtosustainanunwaveringattentionononeobjectofobservation.Itiscultivatedbyattendingtoonething,suchasthebreath,andjustlimitingone’sfocustothat.InSanskrit,concentrationiscalledsamadhi,or“onepointedness.”Samadhiisdevelopedanddeepenedbycontinuallybringingtheattentionbacktothebreatheverytimeitwanders.Whenpracticingstrictlyconcentrativeformsofmeditation,wepurposefullyrefrainfromanyeffortstoinquireintoareassuchaswherethemindwentwhenitwanderedoff,orthatthequalityofthebreathfluctuates.Ourenergyisdirectedsolelytowardexperiencingthisbreathcomingin,thisbreathgoingout,orsomeothersingleobjectofattention.Withextendedpractice,themindtendstobecomebetterandbetteratstayingonthebreath,ornoticingeventheearliestimpulsetobecomedistractedbysomethingelse,andeitherresistingitspullinthefirstplaceandstayingonthebreath,orquicklyreturningtoit.

Acalmnessdevelopswithintensiveconcentrationpracticethathasaremarkablystablequalitytoit.Itissteadfast,profound,hardtodisturb,nomatterwhatcomesup.Itisagreatgifttooneselftobeableperiodicallytocultivatesamadhioveranextendedperiodoftime.Thisismostreadilyaccomplishedonlong,silentmeditationretreats,whenonecanwithdrawfromtheworldàlaThoreauforthisverypurpose.

Thestabilityandcalmnesswhichcomewithonepointedconcentrationpracticeformthefoundationforthecultivationofmindfulness.Withoutsomedegreeofsamadhi,yourmindfulnesswillnotbeverystrong.Youcanonlylookdeeplyintosomethingifyoucansustainyourlookingwithoutbeingconstantlythrownoffbydistractionsorbytheagitationofyourownmind.Thedeeperyourconcentration,thedeeperthepotentialformindfulness.

Theexperienceofdeepsamadhiisverypleasant.Inattendingtothebreathwithonepointedconcentration,everythingelsefallsaway—includingthoughts,feelings,theoutsideworld.Samadhiischaracterizedbyabsorptioninstillnessandundisturbedpeacefulness.Atasteofthisstillnesscanbeattractive,evenintoxicating.Onenaturallyfindsoneselfseekingthispeacefulnessandthesimplicityofastatecharacterizedbyabsorptionandbliss.

Butconcentrationpractice,howeverstrongandsatisfying,isincompletewithoutmindfulnesstocomplementanddeepenit.Byitself,itresemblesastateofwithdrawalfromtheworld.Itscharacteristicenergyisclosedratherthanopen,absorbedratherthanavailable,trancelikeratherthanfullyawake.Whatismissingistheenergyofcuriosity,inquiry,investigation,openness,availability,engagementwiththefullrangeofphenomenaexperiencedbyhumanbeings.Thisisthedomainofmindfulnesspractice,inwhichonepointednessandtheabilitytobringcalmnessandstabilityofmindtothepresentmomentareputintheserviceoflookingdeeplyintoandunderstandingtheinterconnectednessofawiderangeoflifeexperiences.

Concentrationcanbeofgreatvalue,butitcanalsobeseriouslylimitingifyoubecomeseducedbythepleasantqualityofthisinnerexperienceandcometoseeitasarefugefromlifeinanunpleasantand

unsatisfactoryworld.Youmightbetemptedtoavoidthemessinessofdailylivingforthetranquilityofstillnessandpeacefulness.Thisofcoursewouldbeanattachmenttostillness,andlikeanystrongattachment,itleadstodelusion.Itarrestsdevelopmentandshort-circuitsthecultivationofwisdom.

Vision

Itisvirtuallyimpossible,andsenselessanyway,tocommityourselftoadailymeditationpracticewithoutsomeviewofwhyyouaredoingit,whatitsvaluemightbeinyourlife,asenseofwhythismightbeyourwayandnotjustanothertiltingatimaginarywindmills.Intraditionalsocieties,thisvisionwassuppliedandcontinuallyreinforcedbytheculture.IfyouwereaBuddhist,youmightpracticebecausethewholeculturevaluedmeditationasthepathtoclarity,compassion,andBuddhahood,apathofwisdomleadingtotheeradicationofsuffering.ButintheWesternculturalmainstream,youwillfindpreciouslittlesupportforchoosingsuchapersonalpathofdisciplineandconstancy,especiallysuchanunusualoneinvolvingeffortbutnon-doing,energybutnotangible“product.”Whatismore,anysuperficialorromanticnotionswemightharborofbecomingabetterperson—morecalmormoreclearormorecompassionate—don’tendureforlongwhenwefacetheturbulenceofourlives,ourmindsandbodies,oreventheprospectofgettingupearlyinthemorningwhenitiscoldanddarktositbyyourselfandbeinthepresentmoment.It’stooeasilyputofforseenastrivialorofsecondaryimportance,soitcanalwayswaitwhileyoucatchalittlemoresleeporatleaststaywarminbed.

Ifyouhopetobringmeditationintoyourlifeinanykindoflong-term,committedway,youwillneedavisionthatistrulyyourown—onethatisdeepandtenaciousandthatliesclosetothecoreofwhoyoubelieveyourselftobe,whatyouvalueinyourlife,andwhereyouseeyourselfgoing.Onlythestrengthofsuchadynamicvisionandthemotivationfromwhichitspringscanpossiblykeepyouonthispathyearinandyearout,withawillingnesstopracticeeverydayandtobringmindfulnesstobearonwhateverishappening,toopentowhateverisperceived,andtoletitpointtowheretheholdingisandwherethelettinggoandthegrowingneedtohappen.

Meditationpracticeishardlyromantic.Thewaysinwhichweneedtogrowareusuallythosewearethemostsupremelydefendedagainstandareleastwillingtoadmitevenexist,letalonetakeanundefended,mindfulpeekatandthenactontochange.Itwon’tbesustainingenoughtohaveaquixoticideaofyourselfasameditator,ortoholdtheopinionthatmeditationisgoodforyoubecauseithasbeengoodforothers,orbecauseEasternwisdomsoundsdeeptoyou,orbecauseyouareinthehabitofmeditating.Thevisionwearespeakingofhastoberenewedeveryday,hastoberightoutfrontallthetime,becausemindfulnessitselfrequiresthislevelofawarenessofpurpose,ofintention.Otherwise,wemightaswellstayinbed.

Thepracticeitselfhastobecomethedailyembodimentofyourvisionandcontainwhatyouvaluemostdeeply.Itdoesn’tmeantryingtochangeorbedifferentfromhowyouare,calmwhenyou’renotfeelingcalm,orkindwhenyoureallyfeelangry.Rather,itisbearinginmindwhatismostimportanttoyousothatitisnotlostorbetrayedintheheatandreactivityofaparticularmoment.Ifmindfulnessisdeeplyimportanttoyou,theneverymomentisanopportunitytopractice.

Forexample,supposeangryfeelingscomeupatsomepointinyourday.Ifyoufindyourselffeelingangryandexpressingit,youwillalsofindyourselfmonitoringthatexpressionanditseffectsmomentbymoment.Youmaybeintouchwithitsvalidityasafeelingstate,withtheantecedentcausesofyourstrongfeeling,andthewayitiscomingoutinyourbodygesturesandstances,inyourtoneofvoice,inyourchoiceofwordsandarguments,aswellastheimpressionitismakingonothers.Thereismuchtobesaidfortheconsciousexpressionofanger,anditiswellknownmedicallyandpsychologicallythat

suppressingangerinthesenseofinternalizingitisunhealthy,particularlyifitbecomeshabitual.Butitisalsounhealthytoventangeruncontrollablyasamatterofhabitandreaction,however“justifiable.”Youcanfeelitcloudthemind.Itbreedsfeelingsofaggressionandviolence—eveniftheangerisintheserviceofrightingawrongorgettingsomethingimportanttohappen—andthusintrinsicallywarpswhatis,whetheryouareintherightornot.Youcanfeelthisevenwhenyoucan’tstopyourselfsometimes.Mindfulnesscanputyouintouchwiththetoxicityoftheangertoyourselfandtoothers.Ialwayscomeawayfromitfeelingthatthereissomethinginadequateaboutanger,evenwhenIamobjectivelyonhighground.Itsinnatetoxicitytaintsallittouches.Ifitsenergycanbetransmutedtoforcefulnessandwisdom,withoutthesmokeandfireofself-absorptionorself-righteousness,thenitspowermultiplies,andsodoesitscapacitytotransformboththeobjectoftheangerandthesource.

So,ifyoupracticepurposefullyexpandingthecontextoftheanger(yoursorsomeoneelse’s)rightinthoseverymomentsthatitisarisingandpeaking,knowingthattheremustbesomethinglargerandmorefundamentalthatyouareforgettingintheheatoftheemotion,thenyoucantouchanawarenessinsideyourselfwhichisnotattachedtoorinvestedintheanger-fire.Awarenessseestheanger;itknowsthedepthoftheanger;anditislargerthantheanger.Itcanthereforeholdtheangerthewayapotcontainsfood.Thepotofawarenesshelpsuscradletheangerandseethatitmaybeproducingmoreharmfuleffectsthanbeneficialones,evenifthatisnotouraim.Inthisway,ithelpsuscooktheanger,digesttheanger,sothatwecanuseiteffectively,and,inchangingfromanautomaticreactingtoaconsciousresponding,perhapsmovebeyonditaltogether.Thisandotheroptionsstemfromacarefullisteningtothedictatesofthewholesituation.

Ourvisionhastodowithourvalues,andwithourpersonalblueprintforwhatismostimportantinlife.Ithastodowithfirstprinciples.Ifyoubelieveinlove,doyoumanifestitorjusttalkalot?Ifyoubelieveincompassion,innon-harming,inkindness,inwisdom,ingenerosity,incalmness,insolitude,innon-doing,inbeingeven-handedandclear,doyoumanifestthesequalitiesinyourdailylife?Thisisthelevelofintentionalitywhichisrequiredtokeepyourmeditationpracticevital,sothatitdoesn’tsuccumbtobecomingpurelyamechanicalexercise,drivenonlybytheforcesofhabitorbelief.

Renewthyselfcompletelyeachday;doitagain,andagain,andforeveragain.

CHINESEINSCRIPTIONCITEDBYTHOREAUINWalden

TRY:Askingyourselfwhyyoumeditateorwhyyouwanttomeditate.Don’tbelieveyourfirstanswers.Justwritedownalistofwhatevercomestomind.Continueaskingyourself.Also,inquireaboutyourvalues,aboutwhatyouhonormostinlife.Makealistofwhatisreallyimportanttoyou.Askyourself:Whatismyvision,mymapforwhereIamandwhereIamgoing?Doesthisvisionreflectmytruevaluesandintentions?AmIrememberingtoembodythosevalues?DoIpracticemyintentions?HowamInowinmyjob,inmyfamily,inmyrelationships,withmyself?HowdoIwanttobe?HowmightIlivemyvision,myvalues?HowdoIrelatetosuffering,bothmyownandothers’?

MeditationDevelopsFullHumanBeings

I’mtoldthatinPali,theoriginallanguageoftheBuddha,thereisnoonewordcorrespondingtoourword“meditation,”eventhoughmeditationmightbesaidtohaveevolvedtoanextraordinarydegreeinancientIndianculture.Onewordthatisfrequentlyusedisbhavana.Bhavanatranslatesas“developmentthroughmentaltraining.”Tome,thisstrikesthemark;meditationreallyisabouthumandevelopment.Itisanaturalextensionofcuttingteeth,growinganadult-sizedbody,workingandmakingthingshappenintheworld,raisingafamily,goingintodebtofonekindoranother(evenifonlytoyourselfthroughbargainsthatmayimprisonthesoul),andrealizingthatyoutoowillgrowoldanddie.Atsometimeoranother,youarepracticallyforcedtositdownandcontemplateyourlifeandquestionwhoyouareandwherethemeaningliesinthejourneyoflife…yourlife.

Theoldfairytales,wearetoldbytheirmoderninterpreters,BrunoBettelheim,RobertBly,JosephCampbell,andClarissaPinkolaEstes,areancientmaps,offeringtheirownguidanceforthedevelopmentoffullhumanbeings.Thewisdomofthesetalescomesdowntoourdayfromatimebeforewriting,havingbeentoldintwilightanddarknessaroundfiresforthousandsofyears.Whiletheyareentertainingandengagingstoriesintheirownright,theyaresoinlargepartbecausetheyareemblematicalofthedramasweencounterasweseekwholeness,happiness,andpeace.Thekingsandqueens,princesandprincesses,dwarfsandwitches,arenotmerelypersonages“outthere.”Weknowthemintuitivelyasaspectsofourownpsyches,strandsofourownbeing,gropingtowardfulfillment.Wehousetheogreandthewitch,andtheyhavetobefacedandhonoredortheywillconsumeus(eatusup).Fairytalesareancientguidance,containingawisdom,distilledthroughmillenniaoftelling,forourinstinctualsurvival,growth,andintegrationinthefaceofinnerandouterdemonsanddragons,darkwoodsandwastelands.Thesestoriesremindusthatitisworthseekingthealtarwhereourownfragmentedandisolatedbeing-strandscanfindeachotherandmarry,bringingnewlevelsofharmonyandunderstandingtoourlives,tothepointwherewemightactuallylivehappilyeverafter,whichreallymeansinthetimelesshereandnow.Thesestoriesarewise,ancient,surprisinglysophisticatedblueprintsforourfulldevelopmentashumanbeings.

Onerecurrentthemeinthefairystoriesisthatofayoungchild,usuallyaprinceoraprincess,wholoseshisorhergoldenball.Whetherweourselvesaremaleorfemale,oldoryoung,weeachcontainbothprinceandprincess(amongcountlessotherfigures),andtherewasatimeweeachradiatedwiththegoldeninnocenceandinfinitepromisecarriedbyyouth.Andwestillcarrythatgoldenradiance,orcanrecoverit,ifwetakecarenottoletourdevelopmentarrest.

Blypointsoutthatbetweenlosingthegoldenball,whichseemstohappenfirstaroundageeight,andtakinganystepstorecoveritoreventorecognizethatithasgottenawayfromus,mighttakethirtyorfortyyears,whereasinfairytales,whichtakeplace“onceuponatime,”andthereforeoutsideofordinarytime,usuallyitonlytakesadayortwo.Butinbothinstancesabargainneedstobemadefirst,abargainwithourownsuppressedshadowenergies,symbolizedbyafrogorperhapsbyahairywildmanwhoresidesunderthepondintheforest,asinIronJohn.

Beforethatbargaincanbemade,youhavetoknowthatthesecreaturesarethere,princeandprincess,frog,wildmanorwildwoman.Conversingwiththoseaspectsofourpsychesthatweinstinctivelyturnawayfromintounconsciousnessisaprerequisite.Andthatmaybeplentyscary,because

thefeelingstatethatarisesistheonethatcomeswhenwegodownintodark,unknown,mysteriousplaces.TheformofBuddhismthattookrootandfloweredinTibetfromtheeighthcenturyuntilourday

developedperhapsthemostrefinedartisticexpressionoftheseterrifyingaspectsofthehumanpsyche.ManyTibetanstatuesandpaintingsareofgrotesquedemonicbeings,allrespectedmembersofthepantheonofhonoreddeities.Keepinmindthatthesedeitiesarenotgodsintheusualsense.Rather,theyrepresentdifferentmindstates,eachwithitsownkindofdivineenergywhichhastobefaced,honored,andworkedwithifwearetogrowanddevelopourtruepotentialasfullhumanbeings,whethermenorwomen.Thesewrathfulcreaturesarenotseenasbad,eventhoughtheirappearanceisfrighteningandrepulsive,withtheirnecklacesofskullsandgrotesquegrimaces.Theirterribleoutwardappearanceisactuallyadisguiseadoptedbydeitiesembodyingwisdomandcompassiontohelpusattaingreaterunderstandingandkindnesstowardourselvesandtowardothers,who,itisunderstood,arenotfundamentallydifferentfromourselves.

InBuddhism,thevehicleforthisworkofinnerdevelopmentismeditation.Eveninthefairytales,togetintouchwiththewildmanunderthepondrequiresbucketingoutthepond,somethingBlypointsouttakesrepetitiveinnerworkoveralongtime.Thereisnothingglamorousaboutbucketingoutapond,orworkingatahotforge,orintheswelteringvineyards,dayafterday,yearafteryear.Butrepetitiveinnerworkofthiskind,comingtoknowtheforcesofone’sownpsyche,isitsowninitiation.Itisatemperingprocess.Usuallyheatisinvolved.Ittakesdisciplinetotoleratetheheat,topersevere.Butwhatcomesofkeepingatitismasteryandnon-naivete,attainmentofaninwardorderunattainablewithoutthediscipline,theheat,thedescentintoourdarknessandfear.Eventheinteriordefeatswesufferserveusinthistempering.

ThisiswhatJungianscallsoulwork,thedevelopmentofdepthofcharacterthroughknowingsomethingofthetortuouslabyrinthinedepthsandexpansesofourownminds.Theheattempers,rearrangingtheveryatomsofourpsychicbeingand,mostlikely,ofourbodiesaswell.

Thebeautyofmeditativeworkisthatitispossibletorelyonthepracticeitselftoguideusthroughthemaze.Itkeepsusonthepath,eveninthedarkestofmoments,facingthemostterrifyingofourownmindstatesandexternalcircumstances.Itremindsusofouroptions.Itisaguidetohumandevelopment,aroadmaptoourradiantselves,nottothegoldofachildhoodinnocencealreadypast,buttothatofafullydevelopedadult.But,formeditationtodoitswork,wehavetobewillingtodoours.Wemustbewillingtoencounterdarknessanddespairwhentheycomeupandfacethem,overandoveragainifneedbe,withoutrunningawayornumbingourselvesinthethousandsofwaysweconjureuptoavoidtheunavoidable.

TRY:Beingopentotheprinceandtheprincess,thekingandthequeen,thegiantandthewitch,the

wildmanandthewildwoman,thedwarfandthecrone,andthewarrior,thehealer,andthetricksterwithinyourself.Whenyoumeditate,putthewelcomematouttoallofthem.Trysittinglikeakingorqueen,orawarrior,orasage.Intimesofgreatturmoilordarkness,useyourbreathasthestringwhichwillguideyouthroughthelabyrinth.Keepmindfulnessaliveeveninthedarkestmoments,remindingyourselfthattheawarenessisnotpartofthedarknessorthepain;itholdsthepain,andknowsit,soithastobemorefundamental,andclosertowhatishealthyandstrongandgoldenwithinyou.

PracticeasaPath

InthemiddleofthisroadwecallourlifeIfoundmyselfinadarkwoodWithnoclearpaththrough.

DANTEALIGHIERI,DivineComedy,“Inferno”

Thejourneymetaphorisusedinallculturestodescribelifeandthequestformeaning.IntheEast,thewordTao,Chinesefor“Way”or“Path,”carriesthismeaning.InBuddhism,meditationpracticeisusuallyspokenofasapath—thepathofmindfulness,thepathofrightunderstanding,thepathofthewheeloftruth(Dharma).TaoandDharmaalsomeanthewaythingsare,thelawthatgovernsallofexistenceandnon-existence.Allevents,whetherweseethemonthesurfaceasgoodorbad,arefundamentallyinharmonywiththeTao.Itisourjobtolearntoperceivethisunderlyingharmony,andtoliveandmakedecisionsinaccordwithit.Yet,frequently,itisnotexactlyclearwhattherightwayis,whichleavesplentyofroomforfreewillandprincipledaction,andalsofortensionandcontroversy,tosaynothingofgettinglostentirely.

Whenwepracticemeditation,wearereallyacknowledgingthatinthismoment,weareontheroadoflife.Thepathunfoldsinthismomentandineverymomentwhilewearealive.Meditationismorerightlythoughtofasa“Way”thanasatechnique.ItisaWayofbeing,aWayofliving,aWayoflistening,aWayofwalkingalongthepathoflifeandbeinginharmonywiththingsastheyare.Thismeansinpartacknowledgingthatsometimes,oftenatverycrucialtimes,youreallyhavenoideawhereyouaregoingorevenwherethepathlies.Atthesametime,youcanverywellknowsomethingaboutwhereyouarenow(evenifitisknowingthatyouarelost,confused,enraged,orwithouthope).Ontheotherhand,itoftenhappensthatwecanbecometrappedintobelievingtoostronglythatwedoknowwherewearegoing,especiallyifwearedrivenbyself-servingambitionandwewantcertainthingsverybadly.Thereisablindnessthatcomesfromself-furtheringagendasthatleavesusthinkingweknowwhenactuallywedon’tknowasmuchaswethink.

“TheWaterofLife,”afairytaleintheGrimmBrothers’collection,tellsofthecustomarytrioofbrothers,princesall.Thetwooldestbrothersaregreedyandselfish.Theyoungestiskindandcaring.Theirfather,theKing,isdying.Anoldmanwhomysteriouslyappearsinthepalacegardeninquiresaftertheirgrief,andwhenhehearstheproblem,suggeststhatacuremightbehadinthewateroflife.“IftheKingdrinksofit,hewillbecomewellagain;butitishardtofind.”

First,theoldestbrotherobtainspermissiontogoforthtoseekthewateroflifeforhisfather,harboringthesecrethopeofcurryinghisfavorandbecomingKinghimself.Almostassoonashesetsoutonhishorse,heencountersadwarfbesidetheroadwhostopshimandaskswhereheisgoingsofast.Inhishurry,thebrothertreatsthedwarfwithscornandcondescension,orderinghimoutofhisway.Thepresumptionhereisthattheprinceknowsthewayjustbecauseheknowswhatheislookingfor.Notso.Butthisbrotherisunabletoreininhisarrogance,andhisignoranceofthemanywaysthingsmightunfold

oropenupinlife.Ofcourse,thedwarfinfairytalesisnoouterpersoneither,butsymbolicofthehigherpowersofthe

soul.Inthiscase,theselfishbrotherisunabletoapproachhisowninnerpowerandfeelingselfwithkindnessandwisdom.Becauseofhisarrogance,thedwarfarrangesforhispathtoenteranever-narrowingravine,inwhichheeventuallyfindshimselfunabletogoforward,unabletogoback,andunabletoturnaround;inaword,stuck.Andtherehestayswhilethestorycontinues.

Whenthefirstbrotherdoesnotreturn,thesecondbrothergoesforthtotryhisluck,meetsthedwarf,treatshiminthesamefashion,andwindsupstuckjustlikethefirstbrother.Sincetheyaredifferentpartsofthesameperson,youmightsaysomepeopleneverlearn.

Aftersometime,thethirdbrothereventuallysetsofftobringbackthewateroflife.Hetooencountersthedwarf,whoaskswhereheisgoinginsuchahurry.However,unlikehisbrothers,hestops,dismounts,andtellsthedwarfofhisfather’sgraveillnessandofseekingthewateroflife,admittingthathehasnoideawheretolookorinwhatdirectiontogo.Atthat,ofcourse,thedwarfsays,“Oh,Iknowwherethatistobefound,”andheproceedstotellhimwhereitisandhowheistogoaboutgettingit,whichisquitecomplicated.Thisbrotherlistenscarefullyandrememberswhatheistold.

Thisrichlycraftedtaletakesmanyturnsinitsunfolding,whichIwillleavetotheinterestedreadertoexplore.Thepointhereissimplythatitisusefulattimestoadmittoyourselfthatyoudon’tknowyourwayandtobeopentohelpfromunexpectedplaces.Doingthismakesavailabletoyouinnerandouterenergiesandalliesthatariseoutofyourownsoulfulnessandselflessness.Ofcourse,theselfishbrothersarealsointernalfiguresofthepsyche.Themessageisthatgettingcaughtupinthenormalhumantendenciesofself-cherishingandarrogance,andignoringthelargerorderofthings,willultimatelyleadtoanimpasseinyourlifeinwhichyouareunabletogoforward,unabletogoback,andunabletoturnaround.Thestorysaysyouwillneverfindthewateroflifewithsuchanattitude,andthatyouwillremainstuck,potentiallyforever.

Theworkofmindfulnessdemandshonoringandheedingourowndwarfenergy,ratherthanrushingheadlongintothingswithamindthatissorelyoutoftouchwithlargepartsofourself,aminddrivenbynarrowambitionandideasofpersonalgain.Thestorysayswecanonlyfarewellifweproceedwithanawarenessofthewaythingsare,includingawillingnesstoadmitnotknowingwherewearegoing.Theyoungestbrotherhasalongroadtotravelinthestorybeforeitcanbesaidthathefullyunderstandsthewaythingsare(withhisbrothers,forinstance).Heendurespainfullessonsintreacheryandbetrayal,andhepaysahighpriceforhisnaivetebeforefinallyowningthefullrangeofhisenergyandwisdom.Thesearesymbolizedbyhisultimatelyridingstraightdownthemiddleofaroadpavedingoldandmarryingtheprincess(Ihaven’ttoldyouabouther)andbecomingKing—afullydevelopedman,notofhisfather’skingdombutofhisown.

TRY:Seeingyourownlifethisverydayasajourneyandasanadventure.Whereareyougoing?

Whatareyouseeking?Whereareyounow?Whatstageofthejourneyhaveyoucometo?Ifyourlifewereabook,whatwouldyoucallittoday?Whatwouldyouentitlethechapteryouareinrightnow?Areyoustuckhereincertainways?Canyoubefullyopentoalloftheenergiesatyourdisposalatthispoint?Notethatthisjourneyisuniquelyyours,nooneelse’s.Sothepathhastobeyourown.Youcannotimitatesomebodyelse’sjourneyandstillbetruetoyourself.Areyoupreparedtohonoryouruniquenessinthisway?Canyouseeacommitmenttothemeditationpracticeasanintimatepartofthiswayofbeing?Canyoucommittolightingyourpathwithmindfulnessandawareness?Canyouseewaysinwhichyoucouldeasilygetstuck,orhaveinthepast?

Meditation:NottoBeConfusedwithPositiveThinking

Ourabilitytothinkthewaywedodifferentiatesourspeciesfromallothersandismiraculousbeyondcompare.Butifwearenotcareful,ourthinkingcaneasilycrowdoutotherequallypreciousandmiraculousfacetsofourbeing.Wakefulnessisoftenthefirstcasualty.

Awarenessisnotthesameasthought.Itliesbeyondthinking,althoughitmakesuseofthinking,honoringitsvalueanditspower.Awarenessismorelikeavesselwhichcanholdandcontainourthinking,helpingustoseeandknowourthoughtsasthoughtsratherthangettingcaughtupinthemasreality.

Thethinkingmindcanattimesbeseverelyfragmented.Infact,italmostalwaysis.Thisisthenatureofthought.Butawareness,teasedoutofeachmomentwithconsciousintent,canhelpustoperceivethateveninthemidstofthisfragmentation,ourfundamentalnatureisalreadyintegratedandwhole.Notonlyisitnotlimitedbythepotpourriofourthinkingmind,awarenessisthepotwhichcradlesallthefragments,justasthesouppotholdsallthechopped-upcarrots,peas,onions,andthelikeandallowsthemtocookintoonewhole,thesoupitself.Butitisamagicalpot,muchlikeasorcerer’spot,becauseitcooksthingswithouthavingtodoanything,evenputafireunderneathit.Awarenessitselfdoesthecooking,aslongasitissustained.Youjustletthefragmentsstirwhileyouholdtheminawareness.Whatevercomesupinmindorbodygoesintothepot,becomespartofthesoup.

Meditationdoesnotinvolvetryingtochangeyourthinkingbythinkingsomemore.Itinvolveswatchingthoughtitself.Thewatchingistheholding.Bywatchingyourthoughtswithoutbeingdrawnintothem,youcanlearnsomethingprofoundlyliberatingaboutthinkingitself,whichmayhelpyoutobelessofaprisonerofthosethoughtpatterns—oftensostronginus—whicharenarrow,inaccurate,self-involved,habitualtothepointofbeingimprisoning,andalsojustplainwrong.

Anotherwaytolookatmeditationistoviewtheprocessofthinkingitselfasawaterfall,acontinualcascadingofthought.Incultivatingmindfulness,wearegoingbeyondorbehindourthinking,muchthewayyoumightfindavantagepointinacaveordepressionintherockbehindawaterfall.Westillseeandhearthewater,butweareoutofthetorrent.

Practicinginthisway,ourthoughtpatternschangebythemselvesinwaysthatnourishintegration,understanding,andcompassioninourlives,butnotbecausewearetryingtomakethemchangebyreplacingonethoughtwithanotheronethatwethinkmaybemorepure.Rather,itistounderstandthenatureofourthoughtsasthoughtsandourrelationshiptothem,sothattheycanbemoreatourserviceratherthantheotherwayround.

Ifwedecidetothinkpositively,thatmaybeuseful,butitisnotmeditation.Itisjustmore

thinking.Wecanaseasilybecomeaprisonerofso-calledpositivethinkingasofnegativethinking.Ittoocanbeconfining,fragmented,inaccurate,illusory,self-serving,andwrong.Anotherelementaltogetherisrequiredtoinducetransformationinourlivesandtakeusbeyondthelimitsofthought.

GoingInside

Itiseasytocomebytheimpressionthatmeditationisaboutgoinginside,ordwellinginsideyourself.But“inside”and“outside”arelimiteddistinctions.Inthestillnessofformalpractice,wedoturnourenergiesinward,onlytodiscoverthatwecontaintheentireworldinourownmindandbody.

Dwellinginwardlyforextendedperiods,wecometoknowsomethingofthepovertyofalwayslookingoutsideourselvesforhappiness,understanding,andwisdom.It’snotthatGod,theenvironment,andotherpeoplecannothelpustobehappyortofindsatisfaction.It’sjustthatourhappiness,satisfaction,andourunderstanding,evenofGod,willbenodeeperthanourcapacitytoknowourselvesinwardly,toencountertheouterworldfromthedeepcomfortthatcomesfrombeingathomeinone’sownskin,fromanintimatefamiliaritywiththewaysofone’sownmindandbody.

Dwellinginstillnessandlookinginwardforsomepartofeachday,wetouchwhatismostrealandreliableinourselvesandmosteasilyoverlookedandundeveloped.Whenwecanbecenteredinourselves,evenforbriefperiodsoftimeinthefaceofthepulloftheouterworld,nothavingtolookelsewhereforsomethingtofillusupormakeushappy,wecanbeathomewhereverwefindourselves,atpeacewiththingsastheyare,momentbymoment.

Don’tgooutsideyourhousetoseetheflowers.Myfriend,don’tbotherwiththatexcursion.Insideyourbodythereareflowers.Oneflowerhasathousandpetals.Thatwilldoforaplacetosit.Sittingthereyouwillhaveaglimpseofbeautyinsidethebodyandoutofit,beforegardensandaftergardens.

KABIR

Theheavyistherootofthelight.Theunmovedisthesourceofallmovement.

ThustheMastertravelsalldaywithoutleavinghome.Howeversplendidtheviews,

shestaysserenelyinherself.Whyshouldthelordofthecountryflitaboutlikeafool?Ifyouletyourselfbeblowntoandfro,youlosetouchwithyourroot.Ifyouletrestlessnessmoveyou,youlosetouchwithwhoyouare.

LAO-TZU,Tao-te-Ching

Directyoureyerightinward,andyou’llfindAthousandregionsinyourmindYetundiscovered.TravelthemandbeExpertinhome-cosmography.

THOREAU,Walden

TRY:Thenexttimeyoufeelasenseofdissatisfaction,ofsomethingbeingmissingornotquiteright,turninwardjustasanexperiment.Seeifyoucancapturetheenergyofthatverymoment.Insteadofpickingupamagazineorgoingtothemovies,callingafriendorlookingforsomethingtoeatoractingupinonewayoranother,makeaplaceforyourself.Sitdownandenterintoyourbreathing,ifonlyforafewminutes.Don’tlookforanything—neitherflowersnorlightnorabeautifulview.Don’textolthevirtuesofanythingorcondemntheinadequacyofanything.Don’teventhinktoyourself,“Iamgoinginwardnow.”Justsit.Resideatthecenteroftheworld.Letthingsbeastheyare.

PartTwo

TheHeartofPractice

Whatliesbehindusandwhatliesbeforeusaretinymatterscomparedtowhatlieswithinus.

OLIVERWENDELLHOLMES

SittingMeditation

Whatissospecialaboutsitting?Nothing,whenwespeakofthewayweordinarilysit.It’sjustoneconvenientwayourbodiestakealoadoffourfeet.Butsittingisveryspecialwhenitcomestomeditation.

Youcanknowthatsuperficiallyeasilyenoughfromtheoutside.Forinstance,youmightnotknowthatapersonismeditatingwhenyouseehimstandingorlyingdown,orwalking,butyouknowitimmediatelywhenheissitting,especiallyifheissittingonthefloor.Fromanyangle,thepostureitselfembodieswakefulness,evenwhentheeyesareclosedandthefaceissereneandpeaceful.Itismountainlikeinitsmajestyandsolidity.Thereisastabilitytoitwhichspeaksvolumes,broadcastinginwardlyandoutwardly.Themomentthepersondozesoff,allthesequalitiesevaporate.Themindcollapsesinwardly,thebodyvisibly.

Sittingmeditationinvolvessittinginanupright,dignifiedposture,oftenforextendedperiodsoftime.Whileitisrelativelyeasytoassumeanerectposture,thatisjustthebeginningofthischallengingprocessofcontinualunfolding.Youmayreadilyenough“park”yourbody,butthereisstillthequestionofwhatthemindisupto.Sittingmeditationisnotamatteroftakingonaspecialbodyposture,howeverpowerfulthatmaybe.Itisadoptingaparticularposturetowardthemind.Itismindsitting.

Onceyouaresitting,therearemanywaystoapproachthepresentmoment.Allinvolvepayingattentiononpurpose,non-judgmentally.Whatvariesiswhatyouattendtoandhow.

Itisbesttokeepthingssimpleandstartwithyourbreathing,feelingitasitmovesinandout.Ultimately,youcanexpandyourawarenesstoobserveallthecomingsandgoings,thegyrationsandmachinationsofyourownthoughtsandfeelings,perceptionsandimpulses,bodyandmind.Butitmaytakesometimeforconcentrationandmindfulnesstobecomestrongenoughtoholdsuchawiderangeofobjectsinawarenesswithoutgettinglostinthemorattachedtoparticularones,orsimplyoverwhelmed.Formostofus,ittakesyearsanddependsagooddealonyourmotivationandtheintensityofyourpractice.So,atthebeginning,youmightwanttostaywiththebreath,oruseitasananchortobringyoubackwhenyouarecarriedaway.Tryitforafewyearsandseewhathappens.

TRY:Settingasideatimeeverydayforjustbeing.Fiveminuteswouldbefine,ortenortwentyorthirtyifyouwanttoventurethatfar.Sitdownandwatchthemomentsunfold,withnoagendaotherthantobefullypresent.Usethebreathasananchortotetheryourattentiontothepresentmoment.Yourthinkingmindwilldrifthereandthere,dependingonthecurrentsandwindsmovingintheminduntil,atsomepoint,theanchorlinegrowstautandbringsyouback.Thismayhappenalot.Bringyourattentionbacktothebreath,inallitsvividness,everytimeitwanders.Keepthepostureerectbutnotstiff.Thinkofyourselfasamountain.

TakingYourSeat

Ithelpstocometothecushionortothechairwithadefinitesenseoftakingyourseat.Sittingmeditationisdifferentfromjustsittingdowncasuallysomewhere.Thereisenergyinthestatementthesittingmakesasyoutakeyourseat,bothinthechoiceofspot,andinmindfulnessfillingyourbody.Thepostureembodiesastand,asin“takingastand,”eventhoughyouaresitting.Thereisastrongsenseofhonoringplaceandplacementofbodyandmindandmoment.

Wetakeourseattomeditatekeepingallthisinmind,yetwithoutanyinvestmentinlocationorposture.Theremayindeedbedefinite“powerspots”indoorsandout,yetwiththisattitudeoftakingastand,youcansitanywhereinanypostureandbeathome.Whenyourmindandbodycollaborateinholdingbody,time,place,andpostureinawareness,andremainunattachedtohavingithavetobeacertainway,thenandonlythenareyoutrulysitting.

Dignity

Whenwedescribethesittingposture,thewordthatfeelsthemostappropriateis“dignity.”

Sittingdowntomeditate,ourposturetalkstous.Itmakesitsownstatement.Youmightsaythepostureitselfisthemeditation.Ifweslump,itreflectslowenergy,passivity,alackofclarity.Ifwesitramrod-straight,wearetense,makingtoomuchofaneffort,tryingtoohard.WhenIusetheword“dignity”inteachingsituations,asin“Sitinawaythatembodiesdignity,”everybodyimmediatelyadjuststheirposturetositupstraighter.Buttheydon’tstiffen.Facesrelax,shouldersdrop,head,neck,andbackcomeintoeasyalignment.Thespinerisesoutofthepelviswithenergy.Sometimespeopletendtositforward,awayfromthebacksoftheirchairs,moreautonomously.Everybodyseemstoinstantlyknowthatinnerfeelingofdignityandhowtoembodyit.

Perhapswejustneedlittleremindersfromtimetotimethatwearealreadydignified,deserving,worthy.Sometimeswedon’tfeelthatwaybecauseofthewoundsandthescarswecarryfromthepastorbecauseoftheuncertaintyofthefuture.Itisdoubtfulthatwecametofeelundeservingonourown.Wewerehelpedtofeelunworthy.Weweretaughtitinathousandwayswhenwewerelittle,andwelearnedourlessonswell.

So,whenwetakeourseatinmeditationandremindourselvestositwithdignity,wearecomingbacktoouroriginalworthiness.Thatinitselfisquiteastatement.Youcanbetourinsidewillbelistening.Arewereadytolisten,too?Arewereadytolistentothecurrentsofdirectexperienceinthismoment,andthisone,andthis…?

TRY:Sittingwithdignityforthirtyseconds.Notehowyoufeel.Tryitstandingwithdignity.Whereareyourshoulders?Howisyourspine,yourhead?Whatwoulditmeantowalkwithdignity?

Posture

Whenyousitwithstrongintentionality,thebodyitselfmakesastatementofdeepconvictionandcommitmentinitscarriage.Theseradiateinwardandoutward.Adignifiedsittingpostureisitselfanaffirmationoffreedom,andoflife’sharmony,beauty,andrichness.

Sometimesyoufeelintouchwithit;othertimesyoumaynot.Evenwhenyoufeeldepressed,burdened,confused,sittingcanaffirmthestrengthandvalueofthislifelivednow.Ifyoucanmusterthepatiencetosustainyoursittingforevenabrieftime,itcanbringyouintouchwiththeverycoreofyourbeing,thatdomainwhichisbeyondupordown,freeorburdened,clear-sightedorconfused.Thiscoreisakintoawarenessitself;itdoesn’tfluctuatewithmentalstateorlifecircumstances.Itismirrorlike,impartiallyreflectingwhatcomesbeforeit.Thisincludesadeepknowingthatwhateverispresent,whateverhashappenedtoshakeyourlifeoroverwhelmyou,willofitselfinevitablychange,andforthisreasonalone,bearssimplyholdinginthemirrorofthepresentmoment—watchingit,embracingitspresence,ridingitswavesofunfoldingjustasyouridethewavesofyourownbreathing,andhavingfaiththatyouwillsoonerorlaterfindawaytoact,tocometoterms,tomovethroughandbeyond.Notbytryingsomuchasbywatching,bylettingthingsbe,andfeelingthemfullymomentbymoment.

Mindfulsittingmeditationisnotanattempttoescapefromproblemsordifficultiesintosomecut-off“meditative”stateofabsorptionordenial.Onthecontrary,itisawillingnesstogonosetonosewithpain,confusion,andloss,ifthatiswhatisdominatingthepresentmoment,andtostaywiththeobservingoverasustainedperiodoftime,beyondthinking.Youseekunderstandingsimplythroughbearingthesituationinmind,alongwithyourbreath,asyoumaintainthesittingposture.

IntheZentradition,oneteacher(ShunruSuzukiRoshi)putitthisway:“Thestateofmindthatexistswhenyousitintherightpostureisitselfenlightenment….Theseforms[sittingmeditation]arenotthemeansofobtainingtherightstateofmind.Totakethispostureisitselftherightstateofmind.”Inthesittingmeditation,youarealreadytouchingyourowntruestnature.

So,whenwepracticesittingmeditation,firstandforemostitmeanssittinginsuchawaythatyourbodyaffirms,radiates,broadcastsanattitudeofpresence,thatyouarecommittedtoacknowledgingandacceptingwhatevercomesupinanymoment.Thisorientationisoneofnon-attachmentandunwaveringstability,likeaclearmirror,onlyreflecting,itselfempty,receptive,open.Thisattitudeiscontainedintheposture,intheverywayyouchoosetosit.Thepostureembodiestheattitude.

Thisiswhymanypeoplefindtheimageofamountainhelpfulindeepeningconcentrationandmindfulnessinthesittingpractice.Invokingqualitiesofelevation,massiveness,majesty,unmovingness,rootedness,helpsbringthesequalitiesdirectlyintopostureandattitude.

Itisimportanttoinvitethesequalitiesintoyourmeditationallthetime.Practicingoverandoveragainembodyingdignity,stillness,anunwaveringequanimityinthefaceofanymindstatewhichpresentsitself,especiallywhenyouarenotinagravestateofdistressorturmoil,canprovideasolid,reliablefoundationformaintainingmindfulnessandequanimity,eveninperiodsofextremestressandemotionalturmoil.Butonlyifyoupractice,practice,practice.

Althoughitistemptingtodoso,youcan’tjustthinkthatyouunderstandhowtobemindful,andsaveusingitforonlythosemomentswhenthebigeventshit.Theycontainsomuchpowertheywilloverwhelmyouinstantly,alongwithallyourromanticideasaboutequanimityandknowinghowtobemindful.

Meditationpracticeistheslow,disciplinedworkofdiggingtrenches,ofworkinginthevineyards,ofbucketingoutapond.Itistheworkofmomentsandtheworkofalifetime,allwrappedintoone.

ComingOutofMeditation

Themomentstowardtheendofaperiodofformalmeditationhavetheirowntrickytopology.Mindfulnesscanbecomelaxwiththeanticipationoffinishing.Howyouhandlethisisimportant.Itispreciselysuchtransitionsthatchallengeustodeepenourmindfulnessandextenditsrange.

Towardtheendofaperiodofformalpractice,ifyouarenotparticularlyattentive,beforeyouknowityou’llbeoffdoingsomethingelse,withnoawarenesswhatsoeverofhowthemeditationcametoanend.Thetransitionwillbeabluratbest.Youcanbringmindfulnesstothisprocessbybeingintouchwiththethoughtsandimpulseswhichtellyouit’stimetostop.Whetheryou’vebeenstillforanhourorforthreeminutes,apowerfulfeelingallofasuddenmaysay,“Thisisenough.”Oryoulookatyourwatchandit’sthetimeyousaidyouwouldquit.

Inyourmeditationpractice,especiallywhenyouarenotusingatapeforguidance,seeifyoucandetecttheveryfirstimpulsetoquit,andanyothersthatmayfollow,growinginstrength.Asyourecognizeeachimpulse,breathewithitforafewmoments,andaskyourself,“Whohashadenough?”Trylookingintowhatisbehindtheimpulse.Isitfatigue,boredom,pain,impatience;orisitjusttimetostop?Whateverthecase,ratherthanautomaticallyleapingupormovingon,trylingeringwithwhateverarisesoutofthisinquiry,breathingwithitforafewmomentsorevenlonger,andallowingthemovingoutofyourmeditationposturetobeasmuchanobjectofmoment-to-momentawarenessasanyothermomentinthemeditation.

Practicinglikethiscanincreasemindfulnessinmanydifferentsituationsthatinvolveclosingorendingsomethingandmovingontosomethingelse.Itcanbeassimpleandbriefasbeingintouchwithclosingadoor,orascomplicatedandpainfulaswhenanerainyourlifecomestoanend.Somuchautomaticitycancreepintoclosingadoor,becauseit’ssounimportantintheoverallschemeofthings(unlessthebabyissleeping).Butitispreciselybecauseitisrelativelyunimportantthatclosingthedoormindfullyactivatesanddeepensoursensitivity,ourcapacitytobeintouchwithallofourmoments,andsmoothsoutsomeofthedeeperwrinklesofourhabitualunconsciousness.

Curiously,justasmuchifnotmoremindlessbehaviorcancreepintoourmostmomentousclosuresandlifetransitions,includingourownagingandourowndying.Here,too,mindfulnesscanhavehealingeffects.Wemaybesodefendedagainstfeelingthefullimpactofouremotionalpain—whetheritbegrief,sadness,shame,disappointment,anger,orforthatmatter,evenjoyorsatisfaction—thatweunconsciouslyescapeintoacloudofnumbnessinwhichwedonotpermitourselvestofeelanythingatallorknowwhatwearefeeling.Likeafog,unawarenessblanketspreciselythosemomentsthatmightbethemostprofoundoccasionstoseeimpermanenceatwork,tobeintouchwiththeuniversalandimpersonalaspectsofbeingandbecomingthatunderlieourpersonalizedemotionalinvestments,totouchthemysteryofbeingsmall,fragile,andtemporary,andtocometopeacewiththeabsoluteinevitabilityofchange.

IntheZentradition,groupsittingmeditationsaresometimesendedwithaloudwoodenclackerwhichiswhackedtogetherforcefully.Noromanticlingeringwiththesoundofasoftbelltoeasetheendofasitting.Themessagehereistocut—timetomoveonnow.Ifyou’redaydreaming,evenslightly,whentheclackergoesoff,thesoundwillstartleyouandtherebypointouthowlittleyouwereactuallypresentinthatmoment.Itremindsyouthatthesittingisalreadyoverandnowweareinanewmoment,tobefacedanew.

Inothertraditions,thegentleringofabellisusedtomarktheendofgroupsittings.Thesoftnessofthebellbringsyoubacktoo,andalsopointsoutwhetheryourmindwasonthelooseatthemomentitrang.So,whenitcomestoendingasitting,softandgentleisgood,andhardandloudisgood.Bothremindustobefullypresentinmomentsoftransition,thatallendingsarealsobeginnings,thatwhatismostimportant,inthewordsoftheDiamondSutra,isto“developamindthatclingstonothing.”Onlythenwillwebeabletoseethingsastheyactuallyareandrespondwiththefullrangeofouremotionalcapacityandourwisdom.

TheMasterseesthingsastheyare,withouttryingtocontrolthem.Sheletsthemgotheirownway,andresidesatthecenterofthecircle.

LAO-TZU,Tao-te-Ching

TRY:Bringingawarenesstohowyouendyourmeditations.Whethertheyarelyingdown,sitting,standing,orwalking,zeroinon“who”endsit,howitends,whenitends,andwhy.Don’tjudgeitoryourselfinanyway—justobserve,andstayintouchwiththetransitionfromonethingtothenext.

HowLongtoPractice?

Q:Dr.Kabat-Zinn,howlongshouldImeditate?A:HowshouldIknow?

Itkeepscomingup,thisquestionofhowlongtomeditate.Wefeltfromthebeginningofourworkusingmeditationwithpatientsinthehospitalthatitwouldbeimportantforthemtobeexposedrightfromthestarttorelativelyextendedperiodsofpractice.Sincewebelievedstronglyintheprinciplethatifyouaskalotofpeopleoraskthemtoaskalotofthemselves,thenyouwillgetalot,whereasifyouaskonlyalittle,themostyouarelikelytogetisalittle,wewentwithforty-fiveminutesasthebasicrequiredpracticetimeathomeeveryday.Forty-fiveminutesseemedlongenoughtosettleintostillnessandsustainedattendingfrommomenttomoment,andperhapstoexperienceatleasttastesofadeepeningrelaxationandsenseofwell-being.Italsoseemedlongenoughtoallowforampleopportunitytoengagethemorechallengingmindstatesthatweordinarilyhopetoavoidbecausetheytakeoverourlivesandseverelytax(whentheydon’toverwhelmcompletely)ourabilitytoremaincalmandmindful.Theusualsuspects,ofcourse,areboredom,impatience,frustration,fear,anxiety(whichwouldincludeworryingaboutallthethingsyoumightbeaccomplishingifyouweren’twastingtimemeditating),fantasy,memories,anger,pain,fatigue,andgrief.

Itturnedouttobeagoodintuition.Mostofthepeoplecomingthroughourclinichavewillinglymadethealmostnevereasyadjustmentsintheday-to-dayconductoftheirlivestopracticedailyforforty-fiveminutesatastretch,atleastoveraperiodofeightweeks.Andmanyneverstrayfromthatnewlifepath.Itnotonlybecomeseasy,itbecomesnecessary,alifeline.

Butthereisaflipsidetothiswayoflookingatthings.Whatmaybechallengingbutdoableforonepersonatonetimeinherorhislifemaybenighimpossibleatanothertimeevenforthatsameperson.Perceptionsof“long”and“short”areatbestrelative.Thesinglemotherofsmallchildrenisunlikelytohaveforty-fiveminutesatastretchforanything.Doesthatmeanshecan’tmeditate?

Ifyourlifeisinperpetualcrisis,oryoufindyourselfimmersedinsocialandeconomicchaos,youmayhavetroublefindingthepsychicenergytomeditateforextendedperiods,evenifyouhavethetime.Somethingalwaysseemstocomeuptogetintheway,especiallyifyouarethinkingyouhavetohaveaforty-five-minuteclearinginyourdayeventogetstarted.Practicingincrampedquartersaroundthelivesofotherfamilymemberscanmakeforuncomfortablefeelingswhichmaybecomeobstaclestodailypractice.

Medicalstudentscanhardlybeexpectedroutinelytocarveoutextendedperiodsfornon-doing,norcanmanyotherpeopleinhigh-stressjobsanddemandingsituations.Norcanfolkswhoarejustcuriousaboutmeditationbuthavenostrongreasontopushthelimitsofconvenienceandoftheirownsenseoftimepressureorcomfort.

Forthoseseekingbalanceintheirlives,acertainflexibilityofapproachisnotonlyhelpful,itisessential.Itisimportanttoknowthatmeditationhaslittletodowithclocktime.Fiveminutesofformalpracticecanbeasprofoundormoresothanforty-fiveminutes.Thesincerityofyoureffortmattersfarmorethanelapsedtime,sincewearereallytalkingaboutsteppingoutofminutesandhoursandintomoments,whicharetrulydimensionlessandthereforeinfinite.So,ifyouhavesomemotivationto

practiceevenalittle,thatiswhatisimportant.Mindfulnessneedstobekindledandnurtured,protectedfromthewindsofabusylifeorarestlessandtormentedmind,justasasmallflameneedstobeshelteredfromstronggustsofair.

Ifyoucanonlymanagefiveminutes,orevenoneminuteofmindfulnessatfirst,thatistrulywonderful.Itmeansyouhavealreadyrememberedthevalueofstopping,ofshiftingevenmomentarilyfromdoingtobeing.

Whenweteachmeditationtomedicalstudentstohelpthemwiththestressandsometimesthetraumaofmedicaleducationinitspresentform,ortocollegeathleteswhowanttotraintheirmindsalongwiththeirbodiestooptimizeperformance,ortopeopleinapulmonaryrehabilitationprogramwhoneedtolearnalotofotherthingsaswellasmeditate,ortoemployeesinalunchtimestressreductionclass,wedon’tinsistonforty-fiveminutesofpracticeaday.(Weonlydothatwithourownpatients,orwithpeoplewhoarereadytomakesuchanintenselifestylechangeforreasonsoftheirown.)Instead,wechallengethemtopracticeeverydayforfifteenminutesatatime,ortwiceadayiftheycanmanagethat.

Ifyouthinkaboutitforamoment,fewofus—nomatterwhatwedoorwhatsituationwefindourselvesin—wouldbeunabletofreeuponeortwofifteen-minuteblocksoftimeoutoftwenty-fourhours.Andifnotfifteen,thenten,orfive.

Recallthatinalinesixincheslong,thereareaninfinitenumberofpoints,andinalineoneinchlongtherearejustasmany.Well,then,howmanymomentsarethereinfifteenminutes,orfive,orten,orforty-five?Itturnsoutwehaveplentyoftime,ifwearewillingtoholdanymomentsatallinawareness.

Formingtheintentiontopracticeandthenseizingamoment—anymoment—andencounteringitfullyinyourinwardandoutwardposture,liesatthecoreofmindfulness.Longandshortperiodsofpracticearebothgood,but“long”mayneverflourishifyourfrustrationandtheobstaclesinyourpathloomtoolarge.Farbettertoadventureintolongerperiodsofpracticegraduallyonyourownthannevertotastemindfulnessorstillnessbecausetheperceivedobstaclesweretoogreat.Ajourneyofathousandmilesreallydoesbeginwithasinglestep.Whenwecommittotakingthatstep—inthiscase,totakingourseatforeventhebriefestoftimes—wecantouchthetimelessinanymoment.Fromthatallbenefitflows,andfromthatalone.

Whenyoureallylookforme,youwillseemeinstantly—youwillfindmeinthetiniesthouseoftime.

KABIR

TRY:Sittingforvaryinglengthsofclocktime.Seehowitaffectsyourpractice.Doesyourconcentrationlapseasyousitlonger?Doyougethungupinhowmuchlongeryou“have”tobepresent?Doesimpatiencecomeupatsomepoint?Doesthemindgetreactiveorobsessive?Isthererestlessness?Anxiety?Boredom?Timepressure?Sleepiness?Dullness?Ifyouarenewtomeditation,areyoufindingyourselfsaying,“Thisisstupid,”or,“AmIdoingitright?”,or,“IsthisallIamsupposedtobefeeling?”

Dothesefeelingsstartrightawayordotheyonlycomeupafterawhile?Canyouseethemasmindstates?Canyouobservethemwithoutjudgingthemoryourselfforevenbriefperiods?Ifyouputthewelcomematoutforthemandinvestigatetheirqualitiesandletthembe,youmaylearnalotaboutwhatisstrongandunwaveringinyourself.Andwhatisstronginyoumaybecomeevenstrongerasyounourish

innerstabilityandcalmness.

NoRightWay

BackpackingwithmyfamilyinTetonwilderness,Iamrecurrentlystruckbythequestionoffooting.Witheachstep,thefoothastocomedownsomewhere.Climbingordescendingoverboulderfields,steepinclines,onandofftrails,ourfeetmakesplit-seconddecisionsforusaboutwhereandhowtocomedown,whatangle,howmuchpressure,heelortoe,rotatedorstraight.Thekidsdon’teverask:“Daddy,wheredoIputmyfeet?ShouldIsteponthisrockorthatone?”Theyjustdoit,andI’venoticedthattheyfindaway—theychoosewheretoputtheirfeetateachstep,andit’snotsimplywhereIputmine.

Whatthissaystomeisthatourfeetfindtheirownway.Watchingmyown,IamamazedathowmanydifferentplacesandwaysImightputmyfootdownwitheachstep,andhowoutofthisunfoldingmomentarypotential,thefootultimatelycommitstooneway,executeswithfullweightonit(orlessifit’sahazardoussituation),andthenletsgoasthenextfootmakesitschoiceandImoveforward.Allthisoccursvirtuallywithoutthinking,exceptattheoccasionaltrickyspotswherethoughtandexperiencedocomeintoplayandImighthavetogivemyyoungestchild,Serena,ahand.Butthatistheexception,nottherule.Ordinarilywearenotlookingatourfeetandthinkingabouteachstep.Wearelookingout,aheadonthetrail,andourbrain,takingitallin,makessplit-seconddecisionsforusthatputthefootdowninawaythatconformstotheneedsoftheterrainunderfootinthatmoment.

Thisdoesn’tmeanthatthereisnowrongwaytostep.Youdohavetobecarefulandsenseyourfooting.It’sjustthattheeyesandthebrainareverygoodatrapidassessmentofterrainandgivingdetaileddirectionstotorso,limbs,andfeet,sothatthewholeprocessoftakingasteponroughgroundisoneofexquisitebalanceinmotion,evenwiththecomplicationofbootsandheavypacks.Thereisbuilt-inmindfulnesshere.Roughterrainbringsitoutinus.Andifwedoatrailtentimes,we’lleachsolvetheproblemofeachfootstepdifferentlyeachtime.Coveringgroundonfootalwaysunfoldsoutoftheuniquenessofthepresentmoment.

It’snodifferentinmeditation.Thereisreallyandtrulynoone“rightway”topractice,althoughtherearepitfallsalongthispathtooandtheyhavetobelookedoutfor.Itisbesttoencountereachmomentwithfreshness,itsrichpotentialheldinawareness.Welookdeeplyintoit,andthenweletgointothenextmoment,notholdingtothelastone.Eachmomentthencanbefresh,eachbreathanewbeginning,anewlettinggo,anewlettingbe.Justaswithoursteppingoverrockyterrain,thereisno“supposedto”here.True,thereismuchtobeseenandunderstoodalongthispath;butitcan’tbeforced,anymorethanyoucanforcesomeonetoappreciatethegoldenlightofthelowsunshiningoverfieldsofwheatorthemoonriseinthemountains.Bestnottospeakatallinmomentssuchasthese.Allyoucandoisbepresentwiththeenormityofityourselfandhopeothersseeitinthesilenceofthemoment.Sunsetsandmoonrisesspeakforthemselves,intheirownlanguages,ontheirowncanvases.Silenceattimesleavesspacefortheuntamedtospeak.

Inthesameway,inthemeditationpractice,itisbesttoholdtoandhonorone’sowndirectexperience,andnotworrytoomuchaboutwhetherthisiswhatyouaresupposedtofeelorseeorthinkabout.Whynottrustyourexperienceinthismomentjustasyouwouldtrustyourfoottofindawaytokeepyoubalancedasyoumoveoverrocks?Ifyoupracticethiskindoftrustinthefaceofinsecurityandthestronghabitofwantingsomeauthoritytoanointyourexperience(howeverminuscule,anditusuallyis)withhis/herblessing,youwillfindthatsomethingofadeepeningnaturedoeshappenalongthepath.Our

feetandourbreathbothteachustowatchourstep,toproceedmindfully,totrulybeathomeineverymoment,whereverourfeetcarryus,toappreciatewhereweare.Whatgreatergiftcouldbebestoweduponus?

TRY:Beingawareofallthetimesinmeditationwhenthethoughtcomesup:“AmIdoingthisright?”

“IsthiswhatIshouldbefeeling?”“Isthiswhatis‘supposed’tohappen?”Insteadoftryingtoanswerthesequestions,justlookmoredeeplyintothepresentmoment.Expandyourawarenessinthisverymoment.Holdthequestioninawarenessalongwithyourbreathingandwiththefullrangeofthisparticularmoment’scontext.Trustthatinthismoment,“Thisisit,”whateverandwherever“this”is.Lookingdeeplyintowhateverthe“this”ofthepresentmomentis,keepupacontinuityofmindfulness,allowingonemomenttounfoldintothenextwithoutanalyzing,discoursing,judging,condemning,ordoubting;simplyobserving,embracing,opening,lettingbe,accepting.Rightnow.Onlythisstep.Onlythismoment.

AWhat-Is-My-Way?Meditation

Wearequicktotellourchildrenthattheycan’talwayshavetheirownway,evenimplyingthatthereissomethingwrongwithwantingit.Andwhentheyask,“Whynot,Mommy?”,“Whynot,Daddy?”,andwehavecometotheendofourexplanationsorourpatience,wearelikelytosay,“Nevermind.Justlistentome.You’llunderstandwhenyougrowup.”

Butisn’tthismorethanalittleunfair?Don’tweadultsbehaveinexactlythesamewayasourchildren?Don’twewanttohavethingsourownwaytoo,allthetimeifpossible?Howarewedifferentfromthechildrenexceptthatwearelesshonestandopenaboutit?Andwhatifwecouldhaveourownway?Whatwoulditbe?Doyourememberthetroublethatpeoplegetintoinfairytaleswhentheyareofferedthreewishesbyagenieoradwarforawitch?

ThepeopleofMaineareknownforsaying,“Youcan’tgettherefromhere,”whenaskedfordirections.Intermsoflifedirections,perhapsitistruertosay,“Youcanonlygetthereifyouarefullyhere.”Howmanyofusareawareofthislittletwistinthefabricoffate?Wouldweknowwhatourwayisifwecouldhaveit?Wouldgettingourwaysolveanythingatall,orwoulditonlymakemoreofamessofourliveswereitpossibletorealizeourwishesonimpulseoutofoursofrequentlymindlessstatesofmind?

Thetrulyinterestingquestionhereis,“Whatexactlyismyway?”,meaningmy“Way”withacapitalW.Rarelydowecontemplateourlifewiththisdegreeofprobing.Howfrequentlydowelingerinsuchbasicquestionsas“WhoamI?”,“WhereamIgoing?”,“WhatpathamIon?”,“Isthistherightdirectionforme?”,“IfIcouldchooseapathnow,inwhichdirectionwouldIhead?”,“Whatismyyearning,mypath?”,“WhatdoItrulylove?”

Contemplating“WhatismyWay?”isanexcellentelementtoinjectintoourmeditationpractice.Wedon’thavetocomeupwithanswers,northinkthattherehastobeoneparticularanswer.Betternottothinkatall.Instead,onlypersistinaskingthequestion,lettinganyanswersthatformulatejustcomeofthemselvesandgoofthemselves.Aswitheverythingelseinthemeditationpractice,wejustwatch,listen,note,letbe,letgo,andkeepgeneratingthequestion,“WhatismyWay?”,“Whatismypath?”,“WhoamI?”

Theintentionhereistoremainopentonotknowing,perhapsallowingyourselftocometothepointofadmitting,“Idon’tknow,”andthenexperimentingwithrelaxingabitintothisnotknowinginsteadofcondemningyourselfforit.Afterall,inthismoment,itmaybeanaccuratestatementofhowthingsareforyou.

Inquiryofthiskinditselfleadstoopenings,tonewunderstandingsandvisionsandactions.Inquirytakesonalifeofitsownafterawhile.Itpermeatestheporesofyourbeingandbreathesnewvitality,vibrancy,andgraceintothebland,thehumdrum,theroutine.Inquirywill

windup“doingyou”ratherthanyoudoingit.Thisisagoodwaytofindthepaththatliesclosesttoyourheart.Afterall,thejourneyisoneofheroicproportions,butsomuchmoresoifenlivenedbywakefulnessandacommitmenttoadventurousinquiry.Asahumanbeing,youarethecentralfigureintheuniversalhero’smythicjourney,thefairytale,theArthurianquest.Formenandwomenalike,thisjourneyisthetrajectorybetweenbirthanddeath,ahumanlifelived.Nooneescapestheadventure.Weonlyworkwithitdifferently.

Canwebeintouchwithourownlifeunfolding?Canwerisetotheoccasionofourownhumanity?Canwetakeonthechallengeswemeet,evenseekingthemouttotestourselves,togrow,toactinaprincipledway,tobetruetoourselves,tofindourownway,andultimatelynotonlyhaveitbut,moreimportantly,liveit?

TheMountainMeditation

Whenitcomestomeditation,mountainshavealottoteach,havingarchetypalsignificanceinallcultures.Mountainsaresacredplaces.Peoplehavealwayssoughtspiritualguidanceandrenewalinandamongthem.Themountainisthesymboloftheprimeaxisoftheworld(Mt.Meru),thedwellingplaceofthegods(Mt.Olympus),theplacethespiritualleaderencountersGodandreceiveshis(her)commandmentsandcovenant(Mt.Sinai).Mountainsareheldsacred,embodyingdreadandharmony,harshnessandmajesty.Risingaboveallelseonourplanet,theybeckonandoverwhelmwiththeirsheerpresence.Theirnatureiselemental,rock.Rock-hard.Rock-solid.Mountainsaretheplaceofvisions,whereonecantouchthepanoramicscaleofthenaturalworldanditsintersectionwithlife’sfragilebuttenaciousrootings.Mountainshaveplayedkeyrolesinourhistoryandprehistory.Totraditionalpeoples,mountainswereandstillaremother,father,guardian,protector,ally.

Inmeditationpractice,itcanbehelpfulsometimesto“borrow”thesewonderfularchetypalqualitiesofmountainsandusethemtobolsterourintentionalityandresolvetoholdthemomentwithanelementalpurityandsimplicity.Themountainimageheldinthemind’seyeandinthebodycanfreshenourmemoryofwhywearesittinginthefirstplace,andofwhatittrulymeans,eachtimewetakeourseat,todwellintherealmofnon-doing.Mountainsarequintessentiallyemblematicofabidingpresenceandstillness.

Themountainmeditationcanbepracticedinthefollowingway,ormodifiedtoresonatewithyourpersonalvisionofthemountainanditsmeaning.Itcanbedoneinanyposture,butIfinditmostpowerfulwhenIamsittingcross-leggedonthefloor,sothatmybodylooksandfeelsmostmountainlike,insideandout.Beinginthemountainsorinsightofamountainishelpfulbutnotatallnecessary.Itistheinnerimagewhichisthesourceofpowerhere.

Picturethemostbeautifulmountainyouknoworknowoforcanimagine,onewhoseformspeakspersonallytoyou.Asyoufocusontheimageorthefeelingofthemountaininyourmind’seye,noticeitsoverallshape,theloftypeak,thebaserootedintherockoftheearth’scrust,thesteeporgentlyslopingsides.Noteaswellhowmassiveitis,howunmoving,howbeautifulwhetherseenfromafarorupclose—abeautyemanatingfromitsuniquesignatureofshapeandform,andatthesametimeembodyinguniversalqualitiesof“mountainness”transcendingparticularshapeandform.

Perhapsyourmountainhassnowatthetopandtreesonthelowerslopes.Perhapsithasoneprominentpeak,perhapsaseriesofpeaksorahighplateau.Howeveritappears,justsitandbreathewiththeimageofthismountain,observingit,notingitsqualities.Whenyoufeelready,seeifyoucanbringthemountainintoyourownbodysothatyourbodysittinghereandthemountainofthemind’seyebecomeone.Yourheadbecomestheloftypeak;yourshouldersandarmsthesidesofthemountain;yourbuttocksandlegsthesolidbaserootedtoyourcushiononthefloorortoyourchair.Experienceinyourbodythesenseofuplift,theaxial,elevatedqualityofthemountaindeepinyourownspine.Inviteyourselftobecomeabreathingmountain,unwaveringinyourstillness,completelywhatyouare—beyondwordsandthought,acentered,rooted,unmovingpresence.

Now,aswellyouknow,throughoutthedayasthesuntravelsthesky,themountainjustsits.Lightandshadowandcolorsarechangingvirtuallymomenttomomentinthemountain’sadamantinestillness.Eventheuntrainedeyecanseechangesbythehour.TheseevokethosemasterpiecesofClaudeMonet,whohadthegeniustosetupmanyeaselsandpaintthelifeofhisinanimatesubjectshourbyhour,movingfrom

canvastocanvasastheplayoflight,shadow,andcolortransformedcathedral,river,ormountain,andtherebywakeuptheviewer’seye.Asthelightchanges,asnightfollowsdayanddaynight,themountainjustsits,simplybeingitself.Itremainsstillastheseasonsflowintooneanotherandastheweatherchangesmomentbymomentanddaybyday.Calmnessabidingallchange.

Insummer,thereisnosnowonthemountain,exceptperhapsfortheverytoporincragsshieldedfromdirectsunlight.Inthefall,themountainmaydisplayacoatofbrilliantfirecolors;inwinter,ablanketofsnowandice.Inanyseason,itmayattimesfinditselfenshroudedincloudsorfog,orpeltedbyfreezingrain.Thetouristswhocometovisitmaybedisappointediftheycan’tseethemountainclearly,butit’sallthesametothemountain—seenorunseen,insunorclouds,broilingorfrigid,itjustsits,beingitself.Attimesvisitedbyviolentstorms,buffetedbysnowandrainandwindsofunthinkablemagnitude,throughitallthemountainsits.Springcomes,thebirdssinginthetreesonceagain,leavesreturntothetreeswhichlostthem,flowersbloominthehighmeadowsandontheslopes,streamsoverflowwithwatersofmeltingsnow.Throughitall,themountaincontinuestosit,unmovedbytheweather,bywhathappensonthesurface,bytheworldofappearances.

Aswesitholdingthisimageinourmind,wecanembodythesameunwaveringstillnessandrootednessinthefaceofeverythingthatchangesinourownlivesoverseconds,hours,andyears.Inourlivesandinourmeditationpractice,weexperienceconstantlythechangingnatureofmindandbodyandoftheouterworld.Weexperienceperiodsoflightanddark,vividcoloranddrabdullness.Weexperiencestormsofvaryingintensityandviolence,intheouterworldandinourownlivesandminds.Buffetedbyhighwinds,bycoldandrain,weendureperiodsofdarknessandpainaswellassavoringmomentsofjoyanduplift.Evenourappearancechangesconstantly,justlikethemountain’s,experiencingaweatherandaweatheringofitsown.

Bybecomingthemountaininourmeditation,wecanlinkupwithitsstrengthandstability,andadoptthemforourown.Wecanuseitsenergiestosupportoureffortstoencountereachmomentwithmindfulness,equanimity,andclarity.Itmayhelpustoseethatourthoughtsandfeelings,ourpreoccupations,ouremotionalstormsandcrises,eventhethingsthathappentousaremuchliketheweatheronthemountain.Wetendtotakeitpersonally,butitsstrongestcharacteristicisimpersonal.Theweatherofourownlivesisnottobeignoredordenied.Itistobeencountered,honored,felt,knownforwhatitis,andheldinhighawarenesssinceitcankillus.Inholdingitinthisway,wecometoknowadeepersilenceandstillnessandwisdomthanwemayhavethoughtpossible,rightwithinthestorms.Mountainshavethistoteachus,andmore,ifwecancometolisten.

Yet,whenallissaidanddone,themountainmeditationisonlyadevice,afingerpointingustowardsomewhere.Westillhavetolook,thengo.Whilethemountainimagecanhelpusbecomemorestable,humanbeingsarefarmoreinterestingandcomplexthanmountains.Wearebreathing,moving,dancingmountains.Wecanbesimultaneouslyhardlikerock,firm,unmoving,andatthesametimesoftandgentleandflowing.Wehaveavastrangeofpotentialatourdisposal.Wecanseeandfeel.Wecanknowandunderstand.Wecanlearn;wecangrow;wecanheal;especiallyifwelearntolistentotheinnerharmonyofthingsandholdthecentralmountainaxisthroughthickandthin.

Thebirdshavevanishedintothesky,andnowthelastclouddrainsaway.

Wesittogether,themountainandme,untilonlythemountainremains.

LIPO

TRY:Keepingthismountainimageinmindasyousitinformalmeditation.Exploreitsusefulnessindeepeningyourcapacitytodwellinstillness;tositforlongerperiodsoftime;tositinthefaceofadversity,difficulties,andstormsordrabnessinthemind.Askyourselfwhatyouarelearningfromyourexperimentswiththispractice.Canyouseesomesubtletransformationoccurringinyourattitudetowardthingsthatchangeinyourlife?Canyoucarrythemountainimagewithyouindailylife?Canyouseethemountaininothers,andallowthemtheirownshapeandform,eachmountainuniquelyitself?

TheLakeMeditation

Themountainimageisonlyoneofmanythatyoumayfindsupportsyourpracticeandmakesitmorevividandelemental.Imagesoftrees,rivers,clouds,skycanbeusefulalliesaswell.Theimageitselfisnotfundamental,butitcandeepenandexpandyourviewofpractice.

Somepeoplefindtheimageofalakeparticularlyhelpful.Becausealakeisanexpanseofwater,theimagelendsitselftothelying-downposture,althoughitcanbepracticedsittingupaswell.Weknowthatthewaterprincipleiseverybitaselementalasrock,andthatitsnatureisstrongerthanrockinthesensethatwaterwearsdownrock.Wateralsohastheenchantingqualityofreceptivity.Itpartstoallowanythingin,thenresumesitself.Ifyouhitamountainorarockwithahammer,inspiteofitshardness,oractuallybecauseofit,therockchips,fragments,breaksapart.Butifyouhittheoceanorapondwithahammer,allyougetisarustyhammer.Akeyvirtueofwaterpowerrevealsitselfinthis.

Topracticeusingthelakeimageinyourmeditation,pictureinyourmind’seyealake,abodyofwaterheldinareceptivebasinbytheearthitself.Noteinthemind’seyeandinyourownheartthatwaterlikestopoolinlowplaces.Itseeksitsownlevel,askstobecontained.Thelakeyouinvokemaybedeeporshallow,blueorgreen,muddyorclear.Withnowind,thesurfaceofthelakeisflat.Mirrorlike,itreflectstrees,rocks,sky,andclouds,holdseverythinginitselfmomentarily.Windstirsupwavesonthelake,fromripplestochop.Clearreflectionsdisappear.Butsunlightmaystillsparkleintheripplesanddanceonthewavesinaplayofshimmeringdiamonds.Whennightcomes,it’sthemoon’sturntodanceonthelake,orifthesurfaceisstill,tobereflectedinitalongwiththeoutlineoftreesandshadows.Inwinter,thelakemayfreezeover,yetteemwithmovementandlifebelow.

Whenyouhaveestablishedapictureofthelakeinyourmind’seye,allowyourselftobecomeonewiththelakeasyouliedownonyourbackorsitinmeditation,sothatyourenergiesareheldbyyourawarenessandbyyouropennessandcompassionforyourselfinthesamewayasthelake’swatersareheldbythereceptiveandacceptingbasinoftheearthherself.Breathingwiththelakeimagemomentbymoment,feelingitsbodyasyourbody,allowyourmindandyourhearttobeopenandreceptive,toreflectwhatevercomesnear.Experiencethemomentsofcompletestillnesswhenbothreflectionandwaterarecompletelyclear,andothermomentswhenthesurfaceisdisturbed,choppy,stirredup,reflectionsanddepthlostforatime.Throughitall,asyoudwellinmeditation,simplynotingtheplayofthevariousenergiesofyourownmindandheart,thefleetingthoughtsandfeelings,impulsesandreactionswhichcomeandgoasripplesandwaves,notingtheireffectsjustasyouobservethevariouschangingenergiesatplayonthelake:thewind,thewaves,thelightandshadowandreflections,thecolors,thesmells.

Doyourthoughtsandfeelingsdisturbthesurface?Isthatokaywithyou?Canyouseearippledorwavysurfaceasanintimate,essentialaspectofbeingalake,ofhavingasurface?Canyouidentifynotonlywiththesurfacebutwiththeentirebodyofthewater,sothatyoubecomethestillnessbelowthesurfaceaswell,whichatmostexperiencesonlygentleundulations,evenwhenthesurfaceiswhippedtofrothing?

Inthesameway,inyourmeditationpracticeandinyourdailylife,canyouidentifynotonlywiththecontentofyourthoughtsandfeelingsbutalsowiththevastunwaveringreservoirofawarenessitselfresidingbelowthesurfaceofthemind?Inthelakemeditation,wesitwiththeintentiontoholdinawarenessandacceptanceallthequalitiesofmindandbody,justasthelakesitsheld,cradled,contained

bytheearth,reflectingsun,moon,stars,trees,rocks,clouds,sky,birds,light,caressedbytheairandwind,whichbringoutandhighlightitssparkle,itsvitality,itsessence.

Insuchaday,inSeptemberorOctober,Waldenisaperfectforestmirror,setroundwithstonesasprecioustomyeyeasiffewerorrarer.Nothingsofair,sopure,andatthesametimesolarge,asalake,perchance,liesonthesurfaceoftheearth.Skywater.Itneedsnofence.Nationscomeandgowithoutdefilingit.Itisamirrorwhichnostonecancrack,whosequicksilverwillneverwearoff,whosegildingNaturecontinuallyrepairs;nostorms,nodust,candimitssurfaceeverfresh;—amirrorinwhichallimpuritypresentedtoitsinks,sweptanddustedbythesun’shazybrush,—thisthelightdust-cloth,—whichretainsnobreaththatisbreathedonit,butsendsitsowntofloatascloudshighaboveitssurface,andbereflectedinitsbosomstill.

THOREAU,Walden

TRY:Usingthelakeimagetosupportsittingorlyinginstillness,notgoinganywhere,heldandcradledinawareness.Notewhenthemindreflects;whenitisembroiled.Notethecalmbelowthesurface.Doesthisimagesuggestnewwaysofcarryingyourselfintimesofturmoil?

WalkingMeditation

Peaceiseverystep.

THICHNHATHANH,PeaceIsEveryStep

Iknowpeoplewhoatonetimefounditverydifficulttositbutgotdeeplyintomeditationpracticethroughwalking.Nomatterwhoyouare,youcan’tsitallthetime.Andsomepeoplejustfinditvirtuallyimpossibletostayseatedandmindfulwiththelevelsofpainandagitationandangertheyfeel.Buttheycanwalkwithit.

Intraditionalmonasticsettings,periodsofsittingmeditationareinterspersedwithperiodsofwalkingmeditation.Theyarethesamepractice.Thewalkingisjustasgoodasthesitting.Whatisimportantishowyoukeepyourmind.

Informalwalkingmeditation,youattendtothewalkingitself.Youcanfocusonthefootfallasawhole;orisolatedsegmentsofthemotionsuchasshifting,moving,placing,shifting;oronthewholebodymoving.Youcancoupleanawarenessofwalkingwithanawarenessofbreathing.

Inwalkingmeditation,youarenotwalkingtogetanyplace.Usuallyitisjustbackandforthinalane,orroundandroundinaloop.Literallyhavingnoplacetogomakesiteasiertobewhereyouare.What’sthepointoftryingtobesomewhereelseonyourwalkingpathwhenitreallyisallthesame?Thechallengeis,canyoubefullywiththisstep,withthisbreath?

Walkingmeditationcanbepracticedatanypace,fromultra-slowtoverybrisk.Howmuchofthefootcycleyoucanattendtowilldependonthespeed.Thepracticeistotakeeachstepasitcomesandtobefullypresentwithit.Thismeansfeelingtheverysensationsofwalking—inyourfeet,inyourlegs,inyourcarriageandgait,asalways,momentbymoment,andinthiscase,stepbystepaswell.Youmightcallit“watchingyourstep,”punintended,althoughitisaninnerwatching.You’renotlookingatyourfeet!

Justasinthesittingmeditation,thingswillcomeupwhichwillpullyourattentionawayfromthebareexperienceofwalking.Weworkwiththoseperceptions,thoughts,feelingsandimpulses,memoriesandanticipations,thatcomeupduringthewalkingintheverysamewaythatwedoinsittingmeditation.Ultimately,walkingisstillnessinmotion,flowingmindfulness.

It’sbesttodoformalwalkingmeditationinaplacewhereyouwon’tbecomeaspectacletootherpeople,especiallyifyouaregoingtodoitveryslowly.Goodplacesareyourlivingroom,fields,oraclearinginthewoods;isolatedbeachesaregood,too.Pushashoppingcartinfrontofyouthroughasupermarketandyoucanwalkasslowlyasyoulike.

Youcanpracticewalkingmeditationinformallyanywhere.Informalwalkingmeditationdoesn’tinvolvepacingbackandforthorgoingaroundaloop,butjustwalkingnormally.Youcanwalkmindfullyalongasidewalk,downacorridoratwork,goingforahike,walkingyourdog,walkingwithchildren.Itinvolvesrecallingthatyouarehereinyourbody.Yousimplyremindyourselftobeinthismoment,takingeachstepasitcomes,acceptingeachmomentasitcomes.Ifyoufindyourselfrushingorbecoming

impatient,slowingthepacecanhelptaketheedgeoffyourrushingandremindyouthatyouareherenow,andthatwhenyougetthere,youwillbethere.Ifyoumissthehere,youarelikelyalsotomissthethere.Ifyourmindisnotcenteredhere,itislikelynottobecenteredjustbecauseyouarrivesomewhereelse.

TRY:Bringingawarenesstowalking,whereveryoufindyourself.Slowitdownabit.Center

yourselfinyourbodyandinthepresentmoment.Appreciatethefactthatyouareabletowalk,whichmanypeoplecannot.Perceivehowmiraculousitis,andforamoment,don’ttakeforgrantedthatyourbodyworkssowonderfully.KnowthatyouareambulatinguprightonthefaceofMotherEarth.Walkwithdignityandconfidence,andastheNavahosayinggoes,walkinbeauty,whereveryouare.

Trywalkingformallyaswell.Beforeorafteryousit,tryaperiodofwalkingmeditation.Keepacontinuityofmindfulnessbetweenthewalkingandthesitting.Tenminutesisgood,orhalfanhour.Rememberonceagainthatitisnotclocktimeweareconcernedwithhere.Butyouwilllearnmoreandunderstandwalkingmeditationmoredeeplyifyouchallengeyourselftokeepatitpastyourfirstorsecondimpulsetostop.

StandingMeditation

Standingmeditationisbestlearnedfromtrees.Standclosetoone,or,betterstill,inastandoftreesandjustpeeroutinonedirection.Feelyourfeetdevelopingrootsintotheground.Feelyourbodyswaygently,asitalwayswill,justastreesdoinabreeze.Stayingput,intouchwithyourbreathing,drinkinwhatisinfrontofyou,orkeepyoureyesclosedandsenseyoursurroundings.Sensethetreeclosesttoyou.Listentoit,feelitspresence,touchitwithyourmindandbody.

Useyourbreathtohelpyoutostayinthemoment…feelingyourownbodystanding,breathing,being,momentbymoment.

Whenmindorbodyfirstsignalsthatperhapsitistimetomoveon,staywiththestandingawhilelonger,rememberingthattreesstandstillforyears,occasionallylifetimesiftheyarefortunate.Seeiftheydonothavesomethingtoteachyouaboutstillnessandaboutbeingintouch.Afterall,theyaretouchingthegroundwithrootsandtrunk,theairwithtrunkandbranches,sunlightandthewindwiththeirleaves;everythingaboutastandingtreespeaksofbeingintouch.Experimentwithstandingthiswayyourself,evenforshortperiodsoftime.Workatbeingintouchwiththeaironyourskin,thefeelofthefeetincontactwiththeground,thesoundsoftheworld,thedanceoflightandcolorandshadow,thedanceofthemind.

TRY:Standinglikethiswhereveryoufindyourself,inthewoods,inthemountains,byariver,inyour

livingroom,orjustwaitingforthebus.Whenyouarealone,youmighttryopeningyourpalmstotheskyandholdingyourarmsoutinvariouspositions,likebranchesandleaves,accessible,open,receptive,patient.

Lying-DownMeditation

Lyingdownisawonderfulwaytomeditateifyoucanmanagenottofallasleep.Andifyoudofallasleep,yoursleepmaybemorerestfulifyouenteritthroughmeditation.Youcanwakeupfromsleepinginthesameway,bringingfullawarenesstothosefirstmomentsofwakefulnessreturning.

Whenyourbodyislyingdown,youcanreallyletthewholeofitgomuchmoreeasilythanyoucaninanyotherposture.Yourbodycansinkintothebed,mat,floor,orgrounduntilyourmusclesstopmakingtheslightestefforttoholdyoutogether.Thisisaprofoundlettinggoatthelevelofyourmusclesandthemotorneuronswhichgovernthem.Themindquicklyfollowsifyougiveitpermissiontostayopenandwakeful.

Usingthebodyasawholeastheobjectofyourattentioninlying-downmeditationisablessing.Youcanfeelthebodyfromheadtotoe,breathingandradiatingwarmthovertheentireenvelopeofyourskin.It’sthewholebodythatbreathes,thewholebodythatisalive.Inbringingmindfulnesstothebodyasawhole,youcanreclaimyourentirebodyasthelocusofyourbeingandyourvitality,andremindyourselfthat“you,”whoeveryouare,arenotjustaresidentofyourhead.

Youcanalsofocusondifferentareasineitherafree-flowingoramoresystematicwaywhenpracticingmeditationlyingdown.Weintroducethepeopleinourclinictolying-downmeditationintheformofaforty-five-minutebodyscan.Noteverybodycansitforforty-fiveminutesrightawaybutanybodycandothebodyscan.Allyouneedtodoisliehereandfeeldifferentregionsofyourbodyandthenletgoofthem.Thebodyscanissystematicinthesensethatwemovethroughthevariousregionsofthebodyinaparticularorder.Butthereisnoonewaytodoit.Itcouldbedonescanningfromheadtofeetorfromfeettoheadorfromsidetosideforthatmatter.

Onewaytopracticeistoinwardlydirectyourbreathintoandoutfromthevariousregionsofyourbodyasifyoucouldbreatherightintoyourtoesoryourknee,oryourear,andbreatheout“from”thoseplaces.Whenyoufeelready,onanoutbreathyoujustletgoofthatregion,allowing/invitingittodissolveinyourmind’seye(yourimagination)asthemusclesthemselvesletgoandyoudropintostillnessandopenawarenessbeforemovingonandconnectingwiththenextregionofthebody,whichyouwouldcometoonanotherinbreath.Asmuchaspossible,allowallthebreathingtobethroughyournose.

Youdon’thavetodolying-downmeditationassystematicallyasinthebodyscan,however.Youcanalsofocusonparticularregionsofyourbodyatwill,orastheybecomedominantinthefieldofyourawareness,perhapsduetopainoraproblemwithaparticularregion.Enteringintothemwithopennessandattentionandacceptancecanbeprofoundlyhealing,especiallyifyoupracticeregularly.Itfeelslikeadeepnourishingofcellsandtissuesaswellasofpsycheandspirit,wholebodyandsoul.

Lying-downmeditationisagoodwaytogetintouchwithyouremotionalbody,too.Wepossessametaphorical,amythicalheartaswellasaphysicalone.Whenwefocusontheregionoftheheart,itcanbehelpfultotuneintoanysensationsofconstrictioninthechest,tightness,orheaviness,andbeawareofemotionssuchasgrief,sadness,loneliness,despair,unworthiness,orangerwhichmayliejustbeneaththesurfaceofthosephysicalsensations.Wespeakofbrokenhearts,ofbeinghard-heartedorheavy-hearted,becausetheheartisknowninourcultureastheseatofouremotionallife.Theheartisalsotheseatoflove,joy,andcompassion,andsuchemotionsareequallydeservingofattentionandofhonoringasyoudiscoverthem.

Anumberofspecializedmeditativepracticessuchaslovingkindnessmeditationarespecificallyorientedtowardcultivatinginoneselfparticularfeelingstatesthatexpandandopenthemetaphoricalheart.Acceptance,forgiveness,lovingkindness,generosity,andtrustallarestrengthenedbyintentionallycenteringandsustainingattentionintheheartregion,andinvokingsuchfeelingsaspartofformalmeditationpractice.Butthesefeelingsarealsostrengthenedthroughsimplyrecognizingthemwhentheyarisespontaneouslyinyourmeditationpracticeandbyencounteringthemwithawareness.

Otherbodyregions,too,havemetaphoricalmeaningandcanbeapproachedinmeditations,lyingdownandotherwise,withthiskindofawareness.Thesolarplexushasasunlike,radiantqualityandcanhelpustocontactfeelingsofcenteredness,lyingasitdoesatthecenterofgravityofthebody,andofvitality(digestivefires).Thethroatvocalizesouremotionsandcanbeeitherconstrictedoropen.Feelingscanget“stuckinthethroat”sometimes,eveniftheheartisopen.Whenwedevelopmindfulnessofthethroatregion,itcanputusmoreintouchwithourspeechanditstonalqualities—suchasexplosiveness,speed,harshness,volume,automaticityontheonehand,orsoftness,gentleness,sensitivityontheother—aswellasitscontent.

Eachregionofthephysicalbodyhasitscounterpartinanemotionalbodyormapwhichcarriesadeepermeaningforus,oftencompletelybelowourlevelofawareness.Inordertocontinuegrowing,weneedtocontinuouslyactivate,listento,andlearnfromouremotionalbody.Lying-downmeditationscanhelpalotwiththisaslongaswhenyougetupyouarewillingtoriskthestandsthatyourinsightsmightrequire.Intheolddays,ourcultures,mythologies,andritualshelpedintheprocessofactivatingouremotionalbodyandhonoringitsvitalityanditsimpermanence.Usuallythiswasdoneinsame-sexinitiationpracticesorganizedbythecommunityofelders,whosejobitwastoeducatetheadolescentsaboutwhatitmeanttobeafulladultwithinthetribeorculture.Theimportanceofthedevelopmentoftheemotionalbodyishardlyrecognizedtoday.Weareprettymuchlefttoourowndevicestocometofulladulthood,whethermanorwoman.Oureldersmayhavebecomesodenaturedthemselvesfromalackofsuchnurturancethatthereisnolongeracollectiveknowledgeofhowtoguidetheawakeningemotionalvitalityandauthenticityofouryoungpeople,ourchildren.Mindfulnessmaycontributetoareawakeningofthisancientwisdominourselvesandinothers.

Sinceweliedownforsomuchofourlives,lying-downmeditationprovidesareadilyaccessiblegatewaytoanotherdimensionofconsciousness.Beforesleep,uponwaking,whilerestingorlounging,thelyingdowncanitselfinviteyoutopracticemindfulness,bringingbreathandbodytogethermomentbymoment,fillingyourbodywithawarenessandacceptance,listening,listening,hearing,hearing,growing,growing,lettinggo,lettingbe…

TRY:Tuningintoyourbreathwhenyoufindyourselflyingdown.Feelitmovinginyourentirebody.

Dwellwiththebreathinvariousregionsofyourbody,suchasthefeet,thelegs,thepelvisandgenitals,thebelly,thechest,theback,theshoulders,thearms,thethroatandneck,thehead,theface,thetopofyourhead.Listencarefully.Allowyourselftofeelwhateverispresent.Watchthesensationsinthebodyfluxandchange.Watchyourfeelingsaboutthemfluxandchange.

Trymeditatingonpurposelyingdown,notjustaroundbedtime.Doitoutofbed,onthefloor,atdifferenttimesoftheday.Doitinfieldsandmeadowsonoccasion,undertrees,intherain,inthesnow.

Bringparticularattentiontoyourbodyasyouaregoingtosleepandasyouarewakingup.Evenforafewminutes,stretchyourselfoutstraight,onyourbackifpossible,andjustfeelthebodyasawholebreathing.Givespecialattentiontoanyregionsthatareproblematicforyouandworkatlettingthebreathinvitethembackintoasenseofmembershipandwholenesswiththerestofyourbody.Keepyouremotionalbodyinmind.Honor“gut”feelings.

GettingYourBodyDownontheFlooratLeastOnceaDay

Thereisaparticularfeelingoftimestoppingwhenyougetyourbodydownonthefloor,whetherit’stopracticealying-downmeditationsuchasthebodyscanortosystematicallyworkthebodygentlybutfirmlytowarditslimitsinfirstthisdirection,thenthat,aswedoinmindfulhathayoga.Justbeinglowdowninaroomtendstoclearthemind.Maybeit’sbecausebeingonthefloorissoforeigntousthatitbreaksupourhabitualneurologicalpatterningandinvitesustoenterintothismomentthroughasuddenopeninginwhatwemightcallthebodydoor.

Inhathayogapractice,theideaistobefullyinyourbodyasyoubringawarenesstothevarioussensations,thoughts,andfeelingswhichcomeupwhileyouaremoving,stretching,breathing,holdingpositions,reachingorliftingwitharms,legs,andtorso.Therearesaidtobeover80,000basicyogapostures.Onewon’tquicklyrunoutofnewchallengesforthebody;butIfindIkeepcomingbacktoacoreroutineofmaybetwentyorsopostures,whichovertheyearsjustkeeptakingmedeeperintomybodyanddeeperintostillness.

Yogafoldsmovementandstillnessintooneanother.Itisawonderfullynourishingpractice.Asintheotherformsofmindfulnesspractice,youarenottryingtogetanywhere.Butyouarepurposefullymovingrightuptotheverylimitsofyourbodyinthismoment.Youareexploringaterrainwheretheremaybeconsiderableintensityofsensationassociatedwithstretchingorliftingormaintainingyourbalanceinunusualspatialconfigurationsoflimbs,head,andtrunk.Thereyoudwell,usuallyforlongerthanpartofyourmindwouldlike,justbreathing,justfeelingyourbody.Youarenotlookingtobreakthroughtoanything.Youarenotcompetingwithanybodyelse’sbodyorevenaimingtoimproveyourown.Youarenotjudginghowyourbodyisdoing.Youaresimplyresidinginstillness,withinthefullrangeofyourexperiences,includinganyintensityordiscomfort(whichshouldinanycasebebenignifyouhavenotforcedyourselftogobeyondyourlimits),tastingthebloomofthesemomentsinyourbody.

Allthesame,forthedevotedpractitioner,it’shardnottonoticethatthebodylovesasteadydietofthisandchangesonitsown.Thereisfrequentlyan“onthewayto”qualitytothispracticeatthesametimethatthereisthe“justasitisnow”feelingasthebodysinksmoreandmoredeeplyintoastretchorintolettinggo,lyingonthefloorbetweenmoreeffortfulpostures.Notforcinganything,wejustdoourbesttolineupwiththewarpandwoofofbodyandmind,floor,andworld,stayingintouch.

TRY:Gettingdownontheflooronceadayandstretchingyourbodymindfully,ifonlyforthreeor

fourminutes,stayingintouchwithyourbreathingandwithwhatyourbodyistellingyou.Remindyourselfthatthisisyourbodytoday.Checktoseeifyouareintouchwithit.

NotPracticingIsPracticing

SometimesIliketopointoutthatnotdoingyogaisthesameasdoingyoga,althoughIhopepeopledon’tgetthewrongideaandthinkIamsayingit’sthesamewhetheryoupracticeornot.WhatImeanissimplythateverytimeyoucomebacktoyogapractice,youseetheeffectofnothavingdoneitforawhile.Soinawayyoulearnmorebycomingbacktoitthanyouwouldbyjustkeepingitup.

Ofcourse,thisisonlytrueifyounoticethingssuchashowstillyourbodyfeels,howharditistoholdaposture,howimpatientthemindbecomes,howitresistsstayingonthebreath.Thesethingsarereallyhardnottonoticewhenyouaredownonthefloorholdingontoyourkneeasyoudrawyourheaduptowardit.Theyaremuchhardertobeawareofwhenit’slifeitselfthatwearetalkingaboutratherthanyoga.Butthesameprincipleapplies.Yogaandlifearedifferentwaysofsayingthesamething.Forgettingorneglectingtobemindfulcanteachyoualotmorethanjustbeingmindfulallthetime.Fortunately,mostofusdon’thavetoworryonthatscore,sinceourtendenciestowardmindlessnessaresorobust.Itisinthecomingbacktomindfulnessthatseeinglies.

TRY:Noticingthedifferenceinhowyoufeelandhowyouhandlestressinperiodswhenyouareintothedisciplineofdailymeditationandyogapracticeandinperiodsofyourlifewhenyouarenot.Seeifyoucanbecomeawareoftheconsequencesofyourmoremindlessandautomaticbehaviors,especiallywhentheyareprovokedbypressuresstemmingfromworkorhomelife.Howdoyoucarryyourselfinyourbodyinthoseperiodswhenyouarepracticingandwhenyouarenot?Whathappenstoyourcommitmenttoremembernon-doing?Howdoesthelackofregularpracticeaffectyouranxietyabouttimeandaboutachievingcertainresults?Howdoesitaffectyourrelationships?Wheredosomeofyourmostmindlesspatternscomefrom?Whattriggersthem?Areyoureadytoholdtheminawarenessastheygripyoubythethroat,whetheryourformalpracticeisstrongthisweekornot?Canyouseethatnotpracticingisanarduouspractice?

LovingKindnessMeditation

NomanisanIsland,entireofitself;Everymanisapieceofthecontinent,apartofthemain;Ifaclodbewashedawaybythesea,Europeistheless,aswellasifapromontorywere,Aswellasifamanorofthyfriendsorofthineownwere;Anyman’sdeathdiminishesme,becauseIaminvolvedinmankind;Andtherefore,neversendtoknowforwhomthebelltolls;Ittollsforthee.

JOHNDONNE,MeditationXVII

Weresonatewithoneanother’ssorrowsbecauseweareinterconnected.Beingwholeandsimultaneouslypartofalargerwhole,wecanchangetheworldsimplybychangingourselves.IfIbecomeacenterofloveandkindnessinthismoment,theninaperhapssmallbuthardlyinsignificantway,theworldnowhasanucleusofloveandkindnessitlackedthemomentbefore.Thisbenefitsmeanditbenefitsothers.

Youmayhavenoticedthatyouarenotalwaysacenterofloveandkindness,eventowardyourself.Infact,inoursociety,onemightspeakofanepidemicoflowself-esteem.InconversationswiththeDalaiLamaduringameetinginDharamsalain1990,hedidadoubletakewhenaWesternpsychologistspokeoflowself-esteem.ThephrasehadtobetranslatedseveraltimesforhimintoTibetan,althoughhisEnglishisquitegood.Hejustcouldn’tgraspthenotionoflowself-esteem,andwhenhefinallyunderstoodwhatwasbeingsaid,hewasvisiblysaddenedtohearthatsomanypeopleinAmericacarrydeepfeelingsofself-loathingandinadequacy.

SuchfeelingsarevirtuallyunheardofamongtheTibetans.TheyhaveallthesevereproblemsofrefugeesfromoppressionlivingintheThirdWorld,butlowself-esteemisnotoneofthem.Butwhoknowswhatwillhappentofuturegenerationsastheycomeintocontactwithwhatweironicallycallthe“developedworld.”Maybeweareoverdevelopedoutwardlyandunderdevelopedinwardly.Perhapsitiswewho,forallourwealth,arelivinginpoverty.

Youcantakestepstorectifythispovertythroughlovingkindnessmeditation.Asusual,theplacetobeginiswithyourself.Mightyouinviteasenseofkindnessandacceptanceandcherishingtoariseinyourownheart?Youwouldhavetodosooverandoveragain,youknow,justasyouwouldbringyourmindbacktothebreathoverandoveragaininthesittingmeditation.Themindwon’ttakeeasilytoit,becausethewoundswecarryrundeep.Butyoumighttry,justasanexperiment,toholdyourselfinawarenessandacceptanceforatimeinyourpractice,asamotherwouldholdahurtorfrightenedchild,withacompletelyavailableandunconditionallove.Canyoucultivateforgivenessofyourself,ifnotofothers?Isitevenpossibletoinviteyourselftobehappyinthismoment?Isitokayforyoutofeelokay?Isthebasisofhappinesspresentinthismomentatall?

Lovingkindnesspracticeisdoneinthefollowingway,butpleasedon’tmistakethewordsforthepractice.Asusual,theyarejustsignpostspointingtheway:

Startbycenteringyourselfinyourpostureandinyourbreathing.Then,fromyourheartorfromyourbelly,invitefeelingsorimagesofkindnessandlovetoradiateuntiltheyfillyourwholebeing.Allowyourselftobecradledbyyourownawarenessasifyouwereasdeservingoflovingkindnessasanychild.Letyourawarenessembodybothbenevolentmotherenergyandbenevolentfatherenergy,makingavailableforyouinthismomentarecognitionandanhonoringofyourbeing,andakindnessyouperhapsdidnotreceiveenoughofasachild.Letyourselfbaskinthisenergyoflovingkindness,breathingitinandbreathingitout,asifitwerealifeline,longindisrepairbutfinallypassingalonganourishmentyouwerestarvingfor.

Invitefeelingsofpeacefulnessandacceptancetobepresentinyou.Somepeoplefinditvaluabletosaytothemselvesfromtimetotimesuchthingsas:“MayIbefreefromignorance.MayIbefreefromgreedandhatred.MayInotsuffer.MayIbehappy.”Butthewordsarejustmeanttoevokefeelingsoflovingkindness.Theyareawishingoneselfwell—consciouslyformedintentionstobefreenow,inthismomentatleast,fromtheproblemswesooftenmakeforourselvesorcompoundforourselvesthroughourownfearandforgetfulness.

Onceyouhaveestablishedyourselfasacenterofloveandkindnessradiatingthroughoutyourbeing,whichamountstoacradlingofyourselfinlovingkindnessandacceptance,youcandwellhereindefinitely,drinkingatthisfount,bathinginit,renewingyourself,nourishingyourself,enliveningyourself.Thiscanbeaprofoundlyhealingpracticeforbodyandsoul.

Youcanalsotakethepracticefurther.Havingestablishedaradiantcenterinyourbeing,youcanletlovingkindnessradiateoutwardlyanddirectitwhereveryoulike.Youmightfirstdirectittowardthemembersofyourimmediatefamily.Ifyouhavechildren,holdtheminyourmind’seyeandinyourheart,visualizingtheiressentialselves,wishingthemwell,thattheynotsufferneedlessly,thattheycometoknowtheirtruewayintheworld,thattheymayexperienceloveandacceptanceinlife.Andthenincluding,asyougoalong,apartner,spouse,siblings,parents….

Youcandirectlovingkindnesstowardyourparentswhethertheyarealiveordead,wishingthemwell,wishingthattheymaynotfeelisolatedorinpain,honoringthem.Ifyoufeelcapableofitanditfeelshealthytoyou,andliberating,findingaplaceinyourownhearttoforgivethemfortheirlimitations,fortheirfears,andforanywrongactionsandsufferingtheymayhavecaused,rememberingYeats’sline,“Why,whatcouldshehavedone,beingwhatsheis?”

Andthere’snoneedtostophere.Youcandirectlovingkindnesstowardanybody,towardpeopleyouknowandpeopleyoudon’t.Itmaybenefitthem,butitwillcertainlybenefityoubyrefiningandextendingyouremotionalbeing.Thisextensionmaturesasyoupurposefullydirectlovingkindnesstowardpeopleyouhaveahardtimewith,towardthoseyoudislikeorarerepulsedby,towardthosewhothreatenyouorhavehurtyou.Youcanalsopracticedirectinglovingkindnesstowardwholegroupsofpeople—towardallthosewhoareoppressed,orwhosuffer,orwhoselivesarecaughtupinwarorviolenceorhatred,understandingthattheyarenotdifferentfromyou—thattheytoohavelovedones,hopesandaspirations,andneedsforshelter,food,andpeace.Andyoucanextendlovingkindnesstotheplanetitself,itsgloriesanditssilentsuffering,totheenvironment,thestreamsandrivers,totheair,theoceans,theforests,toplantsandanimals,collectivelyorsingly.

Thereisreallynonaturallimittothepracticeoflovingkindnessinmeditationorinone’slife.Itisanongoing,ever-expandingrealizationofinterconnectedness.Itisalsoitsembodiment.Whenyoucanloveonetreeoronefloweroronedogoroneplace,oronepersonoryourselfforonemoment,youcanfindallpeople,allplaces,allsuffering,allharmonyinthatonemoment.Practicinginthiswayisnottryingtochangeanythingorgetanywhere,althoughitmightlooklikeitonthesurface.Whatitisreallydoingisuncoveringwhatisalwayspresent.Loveandkindnessarehereallthetime,somewhere,infact,everywhere.Usuallyourabilitytotouchthemandbetouchedbythemliesburiedbelowourownfearsandhurts,belowourgreedandourhatreds,belowourdesperateclingingtotheillusionthatwearetrulyseparateandalone.

Byinvokingsuchfeelingsinourpractice,wearestretchingagainsttheedgesofourownignorance,justasintheyogawestretchagainsttheresistanceofmuscle,ligament,andtendon,andasinthatandallotherformsofmeditation,againsttheboundariesandignoranceofourownmindsandhearts.Andinthestretching,painfulasitsometimesis,weexpand,wegrow,wechangeourselves,wechangetheworld.

Myreligioniskindness.

THEDALAILAMA

TRY:Touchingbasewithfeelingsoflovingkindnesswithinyourselfatsomepointinyourmeditationpractice.Seeifyoucangetbehindanyobjectionsyoumayhavetothispractice,orbehindyourreasonsforbeingunlovableorunacceptable.Justlookatallthatasthinking.Experimentwithallowingyourselftobatheinthewarmthandacceptanceoflovingkindnessasifyouwereachildheldinalovingmother’sorfather’sarms.Thenplaywithdirectingittowardothersandoutintotheworld.Thereisnolimittothispractice,butaswithanyotherpractice,itdeepensandgrowswithconstantattending,likeplantsinalovinglytendedgarden.Makesurethatyouarenottryingtohelpanybodyelseortheplanet.Rather,youaresimplyholdingtheminawareness,honoringthem,wishingthemwell,openingtotheirpainwithkindnessandcompassionandacceptance.If,intheprocess,youfindthatthispracticecallsyoutoactdifferentlyintheworld,thenletthoseactionstooembodylovingkindnessandmindfulness.

PartThree

IntheSpiritofMindfulness

Allofusareapprenticedtothesameteacherthatthereligiousinstitutionsoriginallyworkedwith:reality.Reality-insightsays…masterthetwenty-fourhours.Doitwell,withoutself-pity.ItisashardtogetthechildrenherdedintothecarpoolanddowntheroadtothebusasitistochantsutrasintheBuddha-hallonacoldmorning.Onemoveisnotbetterthantheother,eachcanbequiteboring,andtheybothhavethevirtuousqualityofrepetition.Repetitionandritualandtheirgoodresultscomein

manyforms.Changingthefilter,wipingnoses,goingtomeetings,pickinguparoundthehouse,washingdishes,checkingthedipstick—don’tletyourselfthinkthesearedistractingyoufromyourmoreseriouspursuits.Sucharoundofchoresisnotasetofdifficultieswehopetoescapefromsothatwemaydoour“practice”whichwill

putusona“path”—itisourpath.

GARYSNYDER,ThePracticeoftheWild

SittingbyFire

Intheolddays,oncethesunwentdown,theonlysourceoflightpeoplehad,otherthanthechangingmoonandfirmamentofstars,wasfire.Formillionsofyears,wehumanbeingssataroundfires,gazingintotheflamesandemberswithcoldanddarknessatourbacks.Maybethisiswhereformalmeditationfirstgotitsstart.

Firewasacomforttous,oursourceofheat,light,andprotection—dangerousbut,withgreatcare,controllable.Sittingbyitgaveusrelaxationattheendoftheday.Initswarm,flickeringlight,wecouldtellstoriesandtalkaboutthedaypast,orjustsitsilently,seeingthereflectionofourmindsintheever-changingflamesandtheglowinglandscapesofamagicalworld.Firemadethedarknessbearable,andhelpedusfeelsecureandsafe.Itwascalming,reliable,restoring,meditative,andabsolutelynecessaryforsurvival.

Thisnecessityhasflownfromoureverydaylives,andwithitalmostalloccasiontobestill.Intoday’sfast-pacedworld,firesareimpracticaloranoccasionalluxurytosetacertainmood.Wehaveonlytoflipaswitchwhentheouterlightbeginstodim.Wecanlightuptheworldasbrightlyaswewantandkeepgoingwithourlives,fillingallourwakinghourswithbusyness,withdoing.Lifegivesusscanttimeforbeingnowadays,unlessweseizeitonpurpose.Wenolongerhaveafixedtimewhenwehavetostopwhatwearedoingbecausethere’snotenoughlighttodoitby…welackthatformerlybuilt-intimewehadeverynightforshiftinggears,forlettinggooftheday’sactivities.Wehavepreciousfewoccasionsnowadaysforthemindtosettleitselfinstillnessbyafire.

Instead,wewatchtelevisionattheendoftheday,apaleelectronicfireenergy,andpaleincomparison.Wesubmitourselvestoconstantbombardmentbysoundsandimagesthatcomefrommindsotherthanourown,thatfillourheadswithinformationandtrivia,otherpeople’sadventuresandexcitementanddesires.Watchingtelevisionleavesevenlessroominthedayforexperiencingstillness.Itsoaksuptime,space,andsilence,asoporific,lullingusintomindlesspassivity.“Bubblegumfortheeyes,”SteveAllencalledit.Newspapersdomuchthesame.Theyarenotbadinthemselves,butwefrequentlyconspiretousethemtorobourselvesofmanypreciousmomentsinwhichwemightbelivingmorefully.

Itturnsoutthatwedon’thavetosuccumbtotheaddictiveappealsofexternalabsorptionsinentertainmentandpassionatedistraction.Wecandevelopotherhabitsthatbringusbacktothatelementalyearninginsideourselvesforwarmth,stillness,andinnerpeace.Whenwesitwithourbreathing,forinstance,itismuchlikesittingbyfire.Lookingdeeplyintothebreath,wecanseeatleastasmuchasinglowingcoalsandembersandflames,reflectionsofourownminddancing.Acertainwarmthisgenerated,too.Andifwearetrulynottryingtogetanywherebutsimplyallowourselvestobehereinthismomentasitis,wecanstumbleeasilyuponanancientstillness—behindandwithintheplayofourthoughtsandfeelings—thatinasimplertime,peoplefoundinsittingbythefire.

Harmony

AsIpullintotheparkinglotofthehospital,severalhundredgeesepassoverhead.TheyareflyinghighandIdonotheartheirhonking.Whatstrikesmefirstisthattheyclearlyknowwheretheyaregoing.Theyareflyingnorthwest,andtherearesomanyofthemthattheformationtrailsoutfartotheeast,wheretheearlyNovembersunishuggingthehorizon.Asthefirstofthemflyover,Iammovedbythenobilityandbeautyoftheirpurposefulassemblytograbpaperandpenrightthereinthecarandcapturethepatternasbestmyunskilledhandandeyeareable.Rapidstrokessuffice…theywillshortlybegone.

HundredsareinV’s,butmanyareinmorecomplexarrangements.Everythingisinmotion.Theirlinesdipandascendwithgraceandharmony,likeaclothwavingintheair.Itisclearthattheyarecommunicating.Eachonesomehowknowswhereitis,hasaplaceinthiscomplexandconstantlychangingpattern,belongs.

Ifeelstrangelyblessedbytheirpassage.Thismomentisagift.IhavebeenpermittedtoseeandshareinsomethingIknowisimportant,somethingIamnotgracedwiththatoften.Partofitistheirwildness,partistheharmony,order,andbeautytheyembody.

Myusualexperienceoftimeflowingissuspendedwhilewitnessingtheirpassing.Thepatterniswhatscientistscall“chaotic,”likecloudformationsortheshapesoftrees.Thereisorder,andwithinit,embeddeddisorder,yetthattooisorderly.Formenow,itissimplythegiftofwonderandamazement.NatureisshowingmeasIcometoworktodayhowthingsactuallyareinonesmallsphere,remindingmehowlittlewehumansknow,andhowlittleweappreciateharmony,orevenseeit.

Andso,readingthenewspaperthatevening,InotethatthefullconsequencesofloggingtherainforestscoveringthehighgroundintheSouthPhilippineswerenotapparentuntilthetyphoonoflate1991struck,whenthedenudedearth,nolongerabletoholdwater,letitrushuncheckedtothelowlandsatfourtimestheusualvolumeanddrownedthousandsofpoorinhabitantsoftheregion.Asthepopularbumperstickersays,“Shithappens.”Thetroubleis,toooftenweareunwillingseeourroleinit.Therearedefiniteriskstodisdainingtheharmonyofthings.

Nature’sharmonyisaroundusandwithinusatalltimes.Perceivingitisanoccasionforgreathappiness;butitisoftenonlyappreciatedinretrospectorinitsabsence.Ifallisgoingwellinthebody,ittendstogounnoticed.Yourlackofaheadacheisnotfront-pagenewsforyourcerebralcortex.Abilitiessuchaswalking,seeing,thinking,andpeeingtakecareofthemselves,andsoblendintothelandscapeofautomaticityandunawareness.Onlypainorfearorlosswakeusandbringthingsintofocus.Butbythentheharmonyishardertosee,andwefindourselvescaughtupinturbulence,itselfcontaining,likerapidsandwaterfalls,orderofamoredifficultandsubtlelevelwithintheriveroflife.AsJoniMitchellsings,“Youdon’tknowwhatyou’vegottillit’sgone…”

AsIgetoutofthecar,Iinwardlybowtothesewayfarersforanointingtheairspaceofthisnecessarilycivilizedhospitalparkinglotwitharefreshingdoseofnaturalwildness.

TRY:Drawingbacktheveilofunawarenesstoperceiveharmonyinthismoment.Canyouseeitin

clouds,insky,inpeople,intheweather,infood,inyourbody,inthisbreath?Look,andlookagain,righthere,rightnow!

EarlyMorning

Eventhoughhehadnojobtogoto,nochildrentofeedandgetofftoschool,noexternalreasonstogetupearly,itwasThoreau’scustom,forthetimehelivedatWalden,towakeearlyinthemorningandbatheinthepondatdawn.Hediditforinnerreasons,asaspiritualdisciplineinitself:“Itwasareligiousexercise,andoneofthebestthingsIdid.”

BenjaminFranklinalsoextolledthevirtuesofhealth,wealth,andwisdomobtainedfromwakingupearlyinhiswell-knownadageonthesubject.Buthedidn’tmouthit;hepracticedtoo.

Thevirtuesofgettingupearlyhavenothingtodowithcrammingmorehoursofbusynessandindustryintoone’sday.Justtheopposite.Theystemfromthestillnessandsolitudeofthehour,andthepotentialtousethattimetoexpandconsciousness,tocontemplate,tomaketimeforbeing,forpurposefullynotdoinganything.Thepeacefulness,thedarkness,thedawn,thestillness—allcontributetomakingearlymorningaspecialtimeformindfulnesspractice.

Wakingearlyhastheaddedvalueofgivingyouaveryrealheadstartontheday.Ifyoucanbeginyourdaywithafirmfoundationinmindfulnessandinnerpeacefulness,thenwhenyoudohavetogetgoingandstartdoing,itismuchmorelikelythatthedoingwillflowoutofyourbeing.Youaremorelikelytocarryarobustmindfulness,aninnercalmnessandbalanceofmindwithyouthroughouttheday,thanhadyoujustjumpedoutofbedandstartedinonthecallofdemandsandresponsibilities,howeverpressingandimportant.

Thepowerofwakingupearlyinthemorningissogreatthatitcanhaveaprofoundeffectonaperson’slife,evenwithoutformalmindfulnesspractice.Justwitnessingthedawneachdayisawake-upcallinitself.

ButIfindearlymorningawondroustimeforformalmeditation.Nooneelseisup.Theworld’srushhasn’tlauncheditselfyet.Igetoutofbedandusuallydevoteaboutanhourtobeing,withoutdoinganything.Aftertwenty-eightyears,ithasn’tlostitsallure.Onoccasionitisdifficulttowakeupandeithermymindormybodyresists.Butpartofthevalueisindoingitanyway,evenifIdon’tfeellikeit.

Oneoftheprincipalvirtuesofadailydisciplineisanacquiredtransparencytowardtheappealsoftransitorymoodstates.Acommitmenttogettingupearlytomeditatebecomesindependentofwantingornotwantingtodosoonanyparticularmorning.Thepracticecallsustoahigherstandard—thatofrememberingtheimportanceofwakefulnessandtheeasewithwhichwecanslipintoapatternofautomaticlivingwhichlacksawarenessandsensitivity.Justwakingupearlytopracticenon-doingisitselfatemperingprocess.Itgeneratesenoughheattorearrangeouratoms,givesusanewandstrongercrystallatticeofmindandbody,alatticethatkeepsushonestandremindsusthatthereisfarmoretolifethangettingthingsdone.

Disciplineprovidesaconstancywhichisindependentofwhatkindofadayyouhadyesterdayandwhatkindofadayyouanticipatetoday.Iespeciallytrytomaketimeforformalpractice,ifjustforafewminutes,ondayswhenmomentouseventshappen,happyordistressing,whenmymindandthecircumstancesareinturmoil,whenthereislotstobedoneandfeelingsarerunningstrong.Inthisway,Iamlesslikelytomisstheinnermeaningofsuchmoments,andImightevennavigatethroughthemabitbetter.

Bygroundingyourselfinmindfulnessearlyinthemorning,youareremindingyourselfthatthingsare

alwayschanging,thatgoodandbadthingscomeandgo,andthatitispossibletoembodyaperspectiveofconstancy,wisdom,andinnerpeaceasyoufaceanyconditionsthatpresentthemselves.Makingthedailychoicetowakeupearlytopracticeisanembodimentofthisperspective.Isometimesspeakofitasmy“routine,”butitisfarfromroutine.Mindfulnessistheveryoppositeofroutine.

Ifyouarereluctanttogetupanhourearlierthanyouordinarilymight,youcanalwaystryhalfanhour,orfifteenminutes,orevenfiveminutes.It’sthespiritthatcounts.Evenfiveminutesofmindfulnesspracticeinthemorningcanbevaluable.Andevenfiveminutesofsacrificedsleepislikelytoputyouintouchwithjusthowattachedwearetosleep,andthereforehowmuchdisciplineandresolvearerequiredtocarveouteventhatlittletimeforourselvestobeawakewithoutdoinganything.Afterall,thethinkingmindalwayshastheverycredible-soundingexcusethatsinceyouwillnotbeaccomplishinganythingandthere’snorealpressuretodoitthismorning,andperhapsrealreasonsnotto,whynotcatchtheextrasleepwhichyouknowyouneednow,andstarttomorrow?

Toovercomesuchtotallypredictableoppositionfromothercornersofthemind,youneedtodecidethenightbeforethatyouaregoingtowakeup,nomatterwhatyourthinkingcomesupwith.Thisistheflavoroftrueintentionalityandinnerdiscipline.Youdoitsimplybecauseyoucommittedtoyourselftodoit,andyoudoitattheappointedtime,whetherpartofthemindfeelslikeitornot.Afterawhile,thedisciplinebecomesapartofyou.It’ssimplythenewwayyouchoosetolive.Itisnota“should,”itdoesn’tinvolveforcingyourself.Yourvaluesandyouractionshavesimplyshifted.

Ifyouarenotreadyforthatyet(orevenifyouare),youcanalwaysusetheverymomentofwakingup,nomatterwhattimeitcomes,asamomentofmindfulness,theveryfirstofthenewday.Beforeyouevenmove,trygettingintouchwiththefactthatyourbreathismoving.Feelyourbodylyinginbed.Straightenitout.Askyourself,“AmIawakenow?DoIknowthatthegiftofanewdayisbeinggiventome?WillIbeawakeforit?Whatwillhappentoday?RightnowIdon’treallyknow.EvenasIthinkaboutwhatIhavetodo,canIbeopentothisnot-knowing?CanIseetodayasanadventure?CanIseerightnowasfilledwithpossibilities?”

MorningiswhenIamawakeandthereisadawninme….Wemustlearntoreawakenandkeepourselvesawake,notbymechanicalaids,butbyaninfiniteexpectationofthedawn,whichdoesnotforsakeusinoursoundestsleep.Iknowofnomoreencouragingfactthantheunquestionableabilityofmantoelevatehislifebyconsciousendeavor.Itissomethingtobeabletopaintaparticularpicture,ortocarveastatue,andsotomakeafewobjectsbeautiful;butitisfarmoreglorioustocarveandpainttheveryatmosphereandmediumthoughwhichwelook….Toaffectthequalityoftheday,thatisthehighestofarts.

THOREAU,Walden

TRY:Makingacommitmenttoyourselftogetupearlierthanyouotherwisemight.Justdoingitchangesyourlife.Letthattime,whateveritslength,beatimeofbeing,atimeforintentionalwakefulness.Youdon’twanttofillthistimewithanythingotherthanawareness.Noneedtogoovertheday’scommitmentsinyourheadandlive“ahead”ofyourself.Thisisatimeofno-time,ofstillness,ofpresence,ofbeingwithyourself.

Also,atthemomentofwakingup,beforegettingoutofbed,getintouchwithyourbreath,feelthevarioussensationsinyourbody,noteanythoughtsandfeelingsthatmaybepresent,letmindfulnesstouchthismoment.Canyoufeelyourbreathing?Canyouperceivethedawningofeachinbreath?Canyouenjoythefeelingofthebreathfreelyenteringyourbodyinthismoment?Askyourself:“AmIawakenow?”

DirectContact

Weallcarryaroundideasandimagesofreality,frequentlygarneredfromotherpeopleorfromcourseswehavetaken,bookswehaveread,orfromtelevision,theradio,newspapers,thecultureingeneral,whichgiveuspicturesofhowthingsareandwhatisoccurring.Asaresult,weoftenseeourthoughts,orsomeoneelse’s,insteadofseeingwhatisrightinfrontofusorinsideofus.Often,wedon’tevenbothertolookorcheckhowwefeelbecausewethinkwealreadyknowandunderstand.Sowecanbeclosedtothewonderandvitalityoffreshencounters.Ifwearenotcareful,wecanevenforgetthatdirectcontactispossible.Wemaylosetouchwithwhatisbasicandnotevenknowit.Wecanliveinadreamrealityofourownmakingwithoutevenasenseoftheloss,thegulf,theunnecessarydistanceweplacebetweenourselvesandexperience.Notknowingthis,wecanbeallthemoreimpoverished,spirituallyandemotionally.Butsomethingwonderfulanduniquecanoccurwhenourcontactwiththeworldbecomesdirect.

VikiWeisskopf,amentorofmineandfriend,andarenownedphysicist,tellsthefollowingpoignantstoryaboutdirectcontact:

SeveralyearsagoIreceivedaninvitationtogiveaseriesoflecturesattheUniversityofArizonaatTucson.IwasdelightedtoacceptbecauseitwouldgivemeachancetovisittheKittsPeakastronomicalobservatory,whichhadaverypowerfultelescopeIhadalwayswantedtolookthrough.IaskedmyhoststoarrangeaneveningtovisittheobservatorysoIcouldlookdirectlyatsomeinterestingobjectsthroughthetelescope.ButIwastoldthiswouldbeimpossiblebecausethetelescopewasconstantlyinuseforphotographyandotherresearchactivities.Therewasnotimeforsimplylookingatobjects.Inthatcase,Ireplied,Iwouldnotbeabletocometodelivermytalks.WithindaysIwasinformedthateverythinghadbeenarrangedaccordingtomywishes.Wedroveupthemountainonawonderfullyclearnight.ThestarsandtheMilkyWayglistenedintenselyandseemedalmostcloseenoughtotouch.Ienteredthecupolaandtoldthetechnicianswhoranthecomputer-activatedtelescopethatIwantedtoseeSaturnandanumberofthegalaxies.ItwasagreatpleasuretoobservewithmyowneyesandwiththeutmostclarityallthedetailsIhadonlyseenonphotographsbefore.AsIlookedatallthat,Irealizedthattheroomhadbeguntofillwithpeople,andonebyonetheytoopeekedintothetelescope.Iwastoldthatthesewereastronomersattachedtotheobservatory,buttheyhadneverbeforehadtheopportunityoflookingdirectlyattheobjectsoftheirinvestigations.Icanonlyhopethatthisencountermadethemrealizetheimportanceofsuchdirectcontacts.

VICTORWEISSKOPF,TheJoyofInsight

TRY:Thinkingthatyourlifeisatleastasinterestingandmiraculousasthemoonorthestars.Whatisitthatstandsbetweenyouanddirectcontactwithyourlife?Whatcanyoudotochangethat?

IsThereAnythingElseYouWouldLiketoTellMe?

Ofcourse,directcontactishardlyofminimalconsequenceinthedoctor-patientrelationship.Wegotogreatlengthstohelpmedicalstudentsunderstandthetopologyofthislandscape,andnotrunawayfromitinterrorbecauseitinvolvestheirownfeelingsasindividualsandtheneedtoreallylistenempathically,treatingpatientsaspeopleratherthansolelyasdiseasepuzzlesandopportunitiestoexercisejudgmentandcontrol.Somanythingscangetinthewayofdirectcontact.Manydoctorslackformaltraininginthisdimensionofmedicine.Theyremainunawareofthecrucialimportanceofeffectivecommunicationandcaringinwhatwecallhealthcarebutwhichtoooftenisjustdiseasecare;andevengooddiseasecarecanbesorelylackingifthesubjectisexcludedfromtheequation.

Mymother,exasperatedatherinabilitytofindadoctorwillingtotreatherconcernsseriously,describedhow,atafollow-upvisitinitiatedbyherbecauseshewasstillnotwalkingwellandwasinalotofpain,theorthopedicsurgeon,whohadreplacedherhipwithanartificialone,studiedtheX-ray,commentinghowgooditlooked(“superb”wasthewordheused),anddidn’tmakeanyattempttoexamineherreal,in-the-fleshhipandlegortoevenacknowledgehercomplaintuntilshehadinsistedonitseveraltimes.Andthen,itheldlittleweight—theX-raywasenoughtoconvincehimthatsheshouldn’tbehavinganypain—exceptshewas.

Doctorscanunknowinglyhidebehindtheirhandiwork,theirinstruments,medicaltests,andtechnicalvocabulary.Theymaybereluctanttocomeintotoodirectcontactwiththepatientasawholeperson,anindividualwithuniquethoughtsandfears,values,cares,andquestions,spokenandunspoken.Theyoftendoubttheirowncapacitytodothisbecauseitissuchunchartedandpotentiallyfrighteningterritory.Inpartitmaybethattheyareunaccustomedtolookingattheirownthoughtsandfears,values,cares,anddoubtssosomeoneelse’scanfeelprettyintimidating.Anditmaybethattheydon’tfeeltheyhavetimetoopenthesepotentialfloodgates,orthattheydoubttheywouldknowhowtorespondadequately.Butwhatisrequiredmostbypatientsissimplylistening,beingpresent,takingthepersonseriously,notjustthedisease.

Tothisend,weteachourmedicalstudents,amongotherthings,toasktheopen-endedquestion,“Isthereanythingelseyouwouldliketotellme?”attheendofthemedicalinterview.Weencouragethemtopause,forquiteawhileifnecessary,leavingthepatientenoughpsychicspacetoconsiderhisorherneedsandperhapstherealagendaforbeingthere.Thisisoftennotwhatgetstalkedaboutfirstorsecond,orevenatallifthedoctorisn’tparticularlytunedinorisinahurry.

Atafacultydevelopmentsessiononeday,someexpertsfromanotherinstitutionweredescribingtheirtrainingprogramforthemedicalinterview,whichusesvideotapingtogivethestudentsdirectfeedbackontheirpatient-interviewingstyle.Atonepoint,theyshowedusaseriesofveryshortclipsofjustthatlastquestionbeingaskedfromanumberofdifferentinterviews,eachstudentsimplyaskingonepatient,“Isthereanythingelseyouwouldliketotellme?”Beforeshowingtheseclips,wewereassignedthetaskofnoticingandlaterreportingonwhatwasgoingon.

Bythethirdone,IwasdoingeverythingIcouldtokeepmyselffromrollingonthefloorwithlaughter.Tomysurprise,therewereagoodmanyblankfacesalthoughsomecaughtonquickly.Thesamethingwashappeninginclipafterclip,butitwassoobviousthatitwashardtosee,justlikelotsofthingsthatarerightunderournoses.

Invirtuallyeveryclip,whilethestudentwassayingwhatheorshehadbeentaughttosaytoclosetheinterview,namely:“Isthereanythingelseyouwouldliketotellme?”,everysingleonewasnoticeablyshakinghisorherheadfromsidetoside,non-verballyconveyingthemessage:“No,please,don’ttellmeanymore!”

YourOwnAuthority

WhenIstartedworkatthemedicalcenter,Iwasgiventhreelongwhitecoatswhichhave“Dr.Kabat-Zinn/DepartmentofMedicine”neatlyembroideredonthepocket.Theyhavehungonthebackofmydoornowforfifteenyears,unused.

Tome,thesewhitecoatsareasymbolofexactlywhatIdon’tneedinmyjob.Isupposetheyareagoodthingforphysicians,enhancingastheydotheauraofauthorityandthusthepositiveplaceboeffectwiththeirpatients.Theauraisaugmentedfurtherifthereisastethoscopehangingoutofthepocketatjusttherightangle.Youngdoctorssometimestryintheirenthusiasmtogothisonebetterandwearitwithstudiedcasualnessacrossthebackoftheneckandshoulders.

Butworkinginthestressreductionclinic,thewhitecoatwouldbeatrueimpediment.IhavetoworkovertimeasitistoreflectbackalltheprojectionsIgetfrompeoplethatIam“Mr.Relaxation”or“Dr.Have-it-all-together”or“Mr.WisdomandCompassion-incarnate.”Thewholepointofmindfulness-basedstressreduction—andforthatmatterhealthpromotioninitslargestsense—istochallengeandencouragepeopletobecometheirownauthorities,totakemoreresponsibilityfortheirownlives,theirownbodies,theirownhealth.Iliketoemphasizethateachpersonisalreadytheworldauthorityonhim-orherself,oratleastcouldbeiftheystartedattendingtothingsmindfully.Agreatdealoftheinformationeachofusneedstolearnmoreaboutourselvesandourhealth—informationwedesperatelyneedinordertogrowandtohealandtomakeeffectivelifechoices—isalreadyrightatourfingertips,atthetipsof,orrather,rightbeneath,ournoses.

Whatisrequiredtoparticipatemorefullyinourownhealthandwell-beingissimplytolistenmorecarefullyandtotrustwhatwehear,totrustthemessagesfromourownlife,fromourownbodyandmindandfeelings.Thissenseofparticipationandtrustisalltoofrequentlyamissingingredientinmedicine.Wecallit“mobilizingtheinnerresourcesofthepatient”forhealing,orforjustcopingbetter,forseeingalittlemoreclearly,forbeingalittlemoreassertive,foraskingmorequestions,forgettingbymoreskillfully.It’snotareplacementforexpertmedicalcare,butitisanecessarycomplementtoitifyouhopetoliveatrulyhealthylife—especiallyinthefaceofdisease,disability,healthchallenges,andafrequentlyalienating,intimidating,insensitive,andsometimesiatrogenichealthcaresystem.

Developingsuchanattitudemeansauthoringone’sownlifeand,therefore,assumingsomemeasureofauthorityoneself.Itrequiresbelievinginoneself.Deepdown,sadly,alotofusdon’t.

Mindfulinquirycanheallowself-esteem,forthesimplereasonthatalowself-estimationisreallyawrongcalculation,amisperceptionofreality.Youcanseethisveryclearlywhenyou

starttoobserveyourownbodyorevenjustyourbreathinginmeditation.Youquicklycometoseethatevenyourbodyismiraculous.Itperformsamazingfeatsbythemomentwithnoconsciouseffort.Ouresteemproblemssteminlargepartfromourthinking,coloredbypastexperiences.Weseeonlyourshortcomingsandblowthemoutofallproportion.Atthesametime,wetakeallourgoodqualitiesforgranted,orfailtoacknowledgethematall.Perhapswegetstuckintheoftendeepandstillbleedingwoundsofchildhood,andforgetorneverdiscoverthatwehavegoldenqualitiestoo.Thewoundsareimportant,butsoareourinnergoodness,ourcaring,ourkindnesstowardothers,thewisdomofthebody,ourcapacitytothink,toknowwhat’swhat.Andwedoknowwhat’swhat,muchmorethanweallow.Yet,insteadofseeinginabalancedway,wefrequentlypersistinthehabitofprojectingontoothersthattheyareokayandwearenot.

Ibalkwhenpeopleprojectontomeinthisway.ItrytoreflectitbacktothemascommonsensicallyasIcan,inthehopethattheywillcometoseewhattheyaredoingandunderstandthattheirpositiveenergyformeisreallytheirs.Thepositivityistheirown.Itistheirenergy,andtheyneedtokeepitanduseitandappreciateitssource.Whyshouldtheygiveawaytheirpower?Ihaveenoughproblemsofmyown.

[People]measuretheiresteemofeachotherbywhateachhas,andnotbywhateachis….Nothingcanbringyoupeacebutyourself.

RALPHWALDOEMERSON,Self-Reliance

WhereverYouGo,ThereYouAre

Haveyouevernoticedthatthereisnorunningawayfromanything?That,soonerorlater,thethingsthatyoudon’twanttodealwithandtrytoescapefrom,orpaperoverandpretendaren’tthere,catchupwithyou—especiallyiftheyhavetodowitholdpatternsandfears?Theromanticnotionisthatifit’snogoodoverhere,youhaveonlytogooverthereandthingswillbedifferent.Ifthisjobisnogood,changejobs.Ifthiswifeisnogood,changewives.Ifthistownisnogood,changetowns.Ifthesechildrenareaproblem,leavethemforotherpeopletolookafter.Theunderlyingthinkingisthatthereasonforyourtroublesisoutsideofyou—inthelocation,inothers,inthecircumstances.Changethelocation,changethecircumstances,andeverythingwillfallintoplace;youcanstartover,haveanewbeginning.

Thetroublewiththiswayofseeingisthatitconvenientlyignoresthefactthatyoucarryyourheadandyourheart,andwhatsomewouldcallyour“karma,”aroundwithyou.Youcannotescapeyourself,tryasyoumight.Andwhatreason,otherthanpurewishfulthinking,wouldyouhavetosuspectthatthingswouldbedifferentorbettersomewhereelseanyway?Soonerorlater,thesameproblemswouldariseifinfacttheysteminlargepartfromyourpatternsofseeing,thinking,andbehaving.Toooften,ourlivesceaseworkingbecauseweceaseworkingatlife,becauseweareunwillingtotakeresponsibilityforthingsastheyare,andtoworkwithourdifficulties.Wedon’tunderstandthatitisactuallypossibletoattainclarity,understanding,andtransformationrightinthemiddleofwhatishereandnow,howeverproblematicitmaybe.Butitiseasierandlessthreateningtooursenseofselftoprojectourinvolvementinourproblemsontootherpeopleandtheenvironment.

Itissomucheasiertofindfault,toblame,tobelievethatwhatisneededisachangeontheoutside,anescapefromtheforcesthatareholdingyouback,preventingyoufromgrowing,fromfindinghappiness.Youcanevenblameyourselfforitalland,intheultimateescapefromresponsibility,runawayfeelingthatyouhavemadeahopelessmessofthings,orthatyouaredamagedbeyondrepair.Ineithercase,youbelievethatyouareincapableoftruechangeorgrowth,andthatyouneedtospareothersanymorepainbyremovingyourselffromthescene.

Thecasualtiesofthiswayoflookingatthingsareallovertheplace.Lookvirtuallyanywhereandyouwillfindbrokenrelationships,brokenfamilies,brokenpeople—wandererswithnoroots,lost,goingfromthisplacetothat,thisjobtothat,thisrelationshiptothat,thisideaofsalvationtothat,inthedesperatehopethattherightperson,therightjob,therightplace,therightbookwillmakeitallbetter.Orfeelingisolated,unlovable,andindespair,havinggivenuplookingandevenmakinganyattempt,howevermisguided,tofindpeaceofmind.

Byitself,meditationdoesnotconferimmunityfromthispatternoflookingelsewhereforanswersandsolutionstoone’sproblems.Sometimespeoplechronicallygofromonetechniquetoanother,orfromteachertoteacher,ortraditiontotradition,lookingforthatspecialsomething,thatspecialteaching,thatspecialrelationship,thatmomentary“high”whichwillopenthedoortoself-understandingandliberation.Butthiscanturnintoseriousdelusion,anunendingquesttoescapelookingatwhatisclosesttohomeandperhapsmostpainful.Outoffearandyearningforsomeonespecialtohelpthemtoseeclearly,peoplesometimesfallintounhealthydependencyrelationshipswithmeditationteachers,forgettingthatnomatterhowgoodtheteacher,ultimatelyyouhavetolivetheinnerworkyourself,andthatworkalwayscomesfromtheclothofyourownlife.

Somepeopleevenwindupmisusingteacher-ledmeditationretreatsasawaytokeepafloatintheirlivesratherthanasanextendedopportunitytolookdeeplyintothemselves.Onretreat,inacertainwayeverythingiseasy.Thebarenecessitiesoflivingaretakencareof.Theworldmakessense.AllIhavetodoissitandwalk,bemindful,stayinthepresent,becookedforandfedbyacaringstaff,listentothegreatwisdomthatisbeingputoutbypeoplewhohaveworkeddeeplyonthemselvesandhaveattainedconsiderableunderstandingandharmonyintheirlives,andIwillbetransformed,inspiredtolivemorefullymyself,knowhowtobeintheworld,haveabetterperspectiveonmyownproblems.

Toalargeextent,thisisalltrue.Goodteachersandlongperiodsofisolatedmeditationonretreatcanbeprofoundlyvaluableandhealing,ifoneiswillingtolookateverythingthatcomesupduringaretreat.Butthereisalsothedanger,whichneedstobelookedoutfor,thatretreatscanbecomearetreatfromlifeintheworld,andthatone’s“transformation”will,intheend,beonlyskindeep.Perhapsitwilllastafewdays,weeks,ormonthsaftertheretreatends,thenit’sbacktothesameoldpatternandlackofclarityinrelationships,andlookingforwardtothenextretreat,orthenextgreatteacher,orapilgrimagetoAsia,orsomeotherromanticfantasyinwhichthingswilldeepenorbecomeclearerandyouwillbeabetterperson.

Thiswayofthinkingandseeingisanall-too-prevalenttrap.Thereisnosuccessfulescapingfromyourselfinthelongrun,onlytransformation.Itdoesn’tmatterwhetheryouareusingdrugsormeditation,alcoholorClubMed,divorceorquittingyourjob.Therecanbenoresolutionleadingtogrowthuntilthepresentsituationhasbeenfacedcompletelyandyouhaveopenedtoitwithmindfulness,allowingtheroughnessofthesituationitselftosanddownyourownroughedges.Inotherwords,youmustbewillingtoletlifeitselfbecomeyourteacher.

Thisisthepathofworkingwhereyoufindyourself,withwhatisfoundhereandnow.This,then,reallyisit…thisplace,thisrelationship,thisdilemma,thisjob.Thechallengeofmindfulnessistoworkwiththeverycircumstancesthatyoufindyourselfin—nomatterhowunpleasant,howdiscouraging,howlimited,howunendingandstucktheymayappeartobe—andtomakesurethatyouhavedoneeverythinginyourpowertousetheirenergiestotransformyourselfbeforeyoudecidetocutyourlossesandmoveon.Itisrightherethattherealworkneedstohappen.

So,ifyouthinkyourmeditationpracticeisdull,ornogood,orthattheconditionsaren’trightwhereyoufindyourself,andyouthinkthatifonlyyouwereinacaveintheHimalayas,oratanAsianmonastery,oronabeachinthetropics,orataretreatinsomenaturalsetting,thingswouldbebetter,yourmeditationstronger…thinkagain.Whenyougottoyourcaveoryourbeachoryourretreat,thereyouwouldbe,withthesamemind,thesamebody,theverysamebreaththatyoualreadyhavehere.Afterfifteenminutesorsointhecave,youmightgetlonely,orwantmorelight,ortheroofmightdripwateronyou.Ifyouwereonthebeach,itmightberainingorcold.Ifyouwereonretreat,youmightnotliketheteachers,orthefood,oryourroom.Thereisalwayssomethingtodislike.Sowhynotletgoandadmitthatyoumightaswellbeathomewhereveryouare?Rightinthatmoment,youtouchthecoreofyourbeingandinvitemindfulnesstoenterandheal.Ifyouunderstandthis,thenandonlythenwillthecave,themonastery,thebeach,theretreatcenter,offeruptheirtruerichnesstoyou.Butsowillallothermomentsandplaces.

Myfootslipsonanarrowledge:inthatsplitsecond,asneedlesoffearpierceheartandtemples,eternityintersectswithpresenttime.Thoughtandactionarenotdifferent,andstone,air,ice,sun,fear,andselfareone.Whatisexhilaratingistoextendthisacuteawarenessintoordinarymoments,inthemoment-by-momentexperiencingofthelammergeierandthewolf,which,findingthemselvesatthecenterofthings,havenoneedforanysecretoftruebeing.Inthisverybreaththatwetakenowliesthesecretthatallgreatteacherstrytotellus,whatonelamareferstoas“theprecisionandopennessandintelligenceofthepresent.”Thepurposeof

meditationpracticeisnotenlightenment;itistopayattentionevenatunextraordinarytimes,tobeofthepresent,nothing-but-the-present,tobearthismindfulnessofnowintoeacheventofordinarylife.

PETERMATTHIESSEN,TheSnowLeopard

GoingUpstairs

Occasionstopracticemindfulnessindailylifeabound.Goingupstairsisagoodoneforme.IdoithundredsoftimesadaywhenI’mathome.UsuallyIneedsomethingfromupstairs,ortospeakwithsomeoneupstairs,butmylong-termagendaistobedownstairs,soI’mfrequentlytornbetweentwoplaces.I’monmywayuponlytobeonmywaydown,afterI’vefoundwhatI’mlookingfor,orgonetothebathroom,orwhatever.

SoIdiscoverthatIamfrequentlypulledbymyneedtobesomewhereelse,orbythenextthingIthinkneedstohappen,orthenextplaceIthinkI’msupposedtobe.WhenIfindmyselfracingupstairs,usuallytwostepsatatime,Isometimeshavethepresenceofmindtocatchmyselfinmid-freneticdash.Ibecomeconsciousofbeingslightlyoutofbreath,awarethatmyheartisracingaswellasmymind,thatthewholeofmybeinginthatmomentisbeingdrivenbysomehurriedpurposewhichofteneveneludesmebythetimeI’mupthere.

WhenIamabletocapturethiswaveofenergyinawarenesswhileIamstillatthebottomofthestairsorstartingonmywayup,Iwillsometimesslowmyascent—notjustonestepatatime,butreallyslow,maybeonebreathcycleperstep,remindingmyselfthatthereisreallynoplaceIhavetogoandnothingIhavetogetthatcan’twaitanothermomentforthesakeofbeingfullyinthisone.

IfindthatwhenIremembertodothis,Iammoreintouchalongthewayandmorecenteredatthetop.Ialsofindthatthereishardlyeveranoutwardhurry.Onlyaninnerone,usuallydrivenbyimpatienceandamindlesstypeofanxiousthinking,whichvariesfromsosubtleIhavetolistencarefullytodetectitatall,tosodominantthatalmostnothingwilldeflectitsmomentum.Buteventhen,Icanbeawareofitandofitsconsequences,andthisawarenessbyitselfhelpskeepmefromlosingmyselfcompletelyintheturbulenceofthemindinthosemoments.And,asyoumightguess,thisworksgoingdownthestairstoo,buthere,becausethemomentumofgravityisworkingforme,it’sevenmoreofachallengetoslowthingsdown.

TRY:Touseordinary,repetitiveoccasionsinyourownhouseasinvitationstopracticemindfulness.Goingtothefrontdoor,answeringthetelephone,seekingoutsomeoneelseinthehousetospeakwith,goingtothebathroom,gettingthelaundryoutofthedryer,goingtotherefrigerator,canallbeoccasionstoslowdownandbemoreintouchwitheachpresentmoment.Noticetheinnerfeelingswhichpushyoutowardthetelephoneorthedoorbellonthefirstring.Whydoesyourresponsetimehavetobesofastthatitpullsyououtofthelifeyouwerelivingintheprecedingmoment?Canthesetransitionsbecomemoregraceful?Canyoubemorewhereyoufindyourself,allthetime?

Also,trybeingpresentforthingsliketakingashower,oreating.Whenyouareintheshower,areyoureallyintheshower?Doyoufeelthewateronyourskin,orareyousomeplaceelse,lostinthought,missingtheshoweraltogether?Eatingisanothergoodoccasionformindfulnesspractice.Areyoutastingyourfood?Areyouawareofhowfast,howmuch,when,where,andwhatyouareeating?Canyoumake

yourentiredayasitunfoldsintoanoccasiontobepresentortobringyourselfbacktothepresent,overandoveragain?

CleaningtheStoveWhileListeningtoBobbyMcFerrin

Icanlosemyselfandfindmyselfsimultaneouslywhilecleaningthekitchenstove.Thisisagreat,ifrareoccasionformindfulnesspractice.BecauseIdon’tdoitregularly,itisquiteachallengebythetimeIgetaroundtoit,andtherearelotsoflevelsofcleantoaimfor.IplaywithgettingthestovetolookasifitwerebrandnewbythetimeI’mfinished.

IuseascrubberwhichisabrasiveenoughtogetthecakedfoodoffifIrubhardenoughwithbakingsoda,butnotsoabrasivethatIscratchthefinish.Itakeofftheburnerelementsandthepansunderneath,eventheknobs,andsoaktheminthesink,tobetackledattheend.ThenIscrubeverysquareinchofstovesurface,favoringacircularmotionattimes,atothers,abackandforth.Italldependsonthelocationandtopologyofthecrud.Igetintotheroundandroundorthebackandforth,feelingthemotioninmywholebody,nolongertryingtocleanthestovesoitwilllooknice,onlymoving,moving,watching,watchingasthingschangeslowlybeforemyeyes.Attheend,Iwipethesurfacescarefullywithadampsponge.

Musicaddstotheexperienceattimes.Othertimes,Iprefersilenceformywork.OneSaturdaymorning,atapebyBobbyMcFerrinwasplayinginthecassetteplayerwhentheoccasionarosetocleanthestove.Socleaningbecamedancing,theincantations,sounds,andrhythmsandthemovementsofmybodymerging,blendingtogether,soundsunfoldingwithmotion,sensationsinmyarmaplenty,modulationsinfingerpressureonthescrubberasrequired,cakedremainsofformercookingsslowlychangingformanddisappearing,allrisingandfallinginawarenesswiththemusic.Onebigdanceofpresence,acelebrationofnow.And,attheend,acleanstove.Thevoiceinsidethatordinarilyclaimscreditforsuchthings(“SeehowcleanIgotthestove”)andseeksapprovalforit(“Didn’tIdoagoodjob?”)stirs,butisquicklyheldinalargerunderstandingofwhathadtranspired.

Mindfullyspeaking,Ican’tgetawaywithclaimingthat“I”cleanedthestove.It’smorelikethestovecleaneditself,withthehelpofBobbyMcFerrin,thescrubber,thebakingsoda,andthesponge,withguestappearancesbyhotwaterandastringofpresentmoments.

WhatIsMyJobonthePlanetwithaCapitalJ?

“Whatismyjobontheplanet?”isonequestionwemightdowelltoaskourselvesoverandoveragain.Otherwise,wemaywindupdoingsomebodyelse’sjobandnotevenknowit.Andwhat’smore,thatsomebodyelsemightbeafigmentofourownimaginationandmaybeaprisonerofitaswell.

Asthinkingcreatures,packaged,asarealllifeforms,inuniqueorganismicunitswecallbodies,andsimultaneouslytotallyandimpersonallyembeddedinthewarpandwoofoflife’sceaselessunfolding,wehaveasingularcapacitytotakeresponsibilityforouruniquepieceofwhatitmeanstobealive,atleastwhilewehaveourbriefmomentinthesun.Butwealsohavethesingularcapacityoflettingourthinkingmindentirelycloudourtransitthroughthisworld.Weareatriskofneverrealizingouruniqueness—atleastaslongasweremainintheshadowcastbyourthoughthabitsandconditioning.

BuckminsterFuller,thediscoverer/inventorofthegeodesicdome,atagethirty-twocontemplatedsuicideforafewhoursonenightattheedgeofLakeMichigan,asthestorygoes,afteraseriesofbusinessfailuresthatlefthimfeelinghehadmadesuchamessofhislifethatthebestmovewouldbeforhimtoremovehimselffromthesceneandmakethingssimplerforhiswifeandinfantdaughter.Apparentlyeverythinghehadtouchedorundertakenhadturnedtodustinspiteofhisincrediblecreativityandimagination,whichwereonlyrecognizedlater.However,insteadofendinghislife,Fullerdecided(perhapsbecauseofhisdeepconvictionintheunderlyingunityandorderoftheuniverse,ofwhichheknewhimselftobeanintegralpart)tolivefromthenonasifhehaddiedthatnight.

Beingdead,hewouldn’thavetoworryabouthowthingsworkedoutanylongerforhimselfpersonallyandwouldbefreetodevotehimselftolivingasarepresentativeoftheuniverse.Therestofhislifewouldbeagift.Insteadoflivingforhimself,hewoulddevotehimselftoasking,“Whatisitonthisplanet[whichhereferredtoasSpaceshipEarth]thatneedsdoingthatIknowsomethingabout,thatprobablywon’thappenunlessItakeresponsibilityforit?”Hedecidedhewouldjustaskthatquestioncontinuouslyanddowhatcametohim,followinghisnose.Inthisway,workingforhumanityasanemployeeoftheuniverseatlarge,yougettomodifyandcontributetoyourlocalebywhoyouare,howyouare,andwhatyoudo.Butit’snolongerpersonal.It’sjustpartofthetotalityoftheuniverseexpressingitself.

Rarelydowequestionandthencontemplatewithdeterminationwhatourheartsarecallingustodoandtobe.Iliketoframesucheffortsinquestionform:“WhatismyjobontheplanetwithacapitalJ?”,or,“WhatdoIcareaboutsomuchthatIwouldpaytodoit?”IfIasksuchaquestionandIdon’tcomeupwithananswer,otherthan,“Idon’tknow,”thenIjustkeepaskingthequestion.Ifyoustartreflectingonsuchquestionswhenyou’reinyourtwenties,bythetimeyouarethirty-fiveorforty,orfiftyorsixty,theinquiryitselfmayhaveledyouafewplacesthatyouwouldnothavegonehadyoumerelyfollowedmainstreamconventions,oryourparents’expectationsforyou,orevenworse,yourownunexaminedself-limitingbeliefsandexpectations.

Youcanstartaskingthisquestionanytime,atanyage.Thereisneveratimeoflifewhenitwouldnothaveaprofoundeffectonyourviewofthingsandthechoicesyoumake.Itmaynotmeanthatyouwillchangewhatyoudo,butitmaymeanthatyoumaywanttochangehowyouseeitorholdit,andperhapshowyoudoit.Oncetheuniverseisyouremployer,veryinterestingthingsstarttohappen,evenifsomeoneelseiscuttingyourpaycheck.Butyoudohavetobepatient.Ittakestimetogrowthiswayofbeinginyour

life.Theplacetostartofcourseisrighthere.Thebesttime?Howaboutnow?Youneverknowwhatwillcomeofsuchintrospections.Fullerhimselfwasfondofstatingthatwhat

seemstobehappeningatthemomentisneverthefullstoryofwhatisreallygoingon.Helikedtopointoutthatforthehoneybee,itisthehoneythatisimportant.Butthebeeisatthesametimenature’svehicleforcarryingoutcross-pollinationoftheflowers.Interconnectednessisafundamentalprincipleofnature.Nothingisisolated.Eacheventconnectswithothers.Thingsareconstantlyunfoldingondifferentlevels.It’sforustoperceivethewarpandwoofofitallasbestwecanandlearntofollowourownthreadsthroughthetapestryoflifewithauthenticityandresolve.

Fullerbelievedinanunderlyingarchitectureofnature,inwhichformandfunctionwereinextricablylinked.Hebelievedthatnature’sblueprintswouldmakesenseandwouldhavepracticalrelevancetoourlivesonmanylevels.Beforehedied,X-raycrystallographicstudieshaddemonstratedthatmanyviruses—submicroscopicassembliesofmacromoleculesontheedgeoflifeitself—arestructuredalongthesamegeodesicprinciplesasthosehediscoveredbyplayingaroundwithpolyhedra.

Hedidn’tlivelongenoughtoseeit,butinadditiontoallhisotherseminalinventionsandideas,awholenewfieldofchemistryopeneduparoundtheunpredicteddiscoveryofsoccerball—likecarboncompoundswithremarkablepropertieswhichquicklybecameknownasBuckminsterfullerenesorbuckyballs.Playinginhissandbox,followinghisownpath,hismusingsledtodiscoveriesandworldsheneverdreamedof.Socanyours.Fullerneverthoughtofhimselfasspecialinanysense,justaregularpersonwholikedtoplaywithideasandwithforms.Hismottowas:“IfIcanunderstandit,anybodycanunderstandit.”

Insistonyourself;neverimitate.Yourowngiftyoucanpresenteverymomentwiththecumulativeforceofawholelife’scultivation;butoftheadoptedtalentofanotheryouhaveonlyanextemporaneoushalfpossession….Dothatwhichisassignedtoyou,andyoucannothopetoomuchordaretoomuch.

RALPHWALDOEMERSON,Self-Reliance

MountAnalogue

“Hemay.Butintheend,it’sthemountainthatwilldecidewhowillclimbit.”

EVERESTCLIMBLEADERwhenaskedwhetheranolderveteranclimberwouldgetachanceatthesummit

Thereareoutermountainsandinnermountains.Theirverypresencebeckonstous,callsustoascend.Perhapsthefullteachingofamountainisthatyoucarrythewholemountaininsideyourself,theouteroneaswellastheinner.Andsometimesyousearchandsearchforthemountainwithoutfindingituntilthetimecomeswhenyouaresufficientlymotivatedandpreparedtofindawaythrough,firsttothebase,thentothesummit.Themountainclimbisapowerfulmetaphorforthelifequest,thespiritualjourney,thepathofgrowth,transformation,andunderstanding.Thearduousdifficultiesweencounteralongthewayembodytheverychallengesweneedinordertostretchourselvesandtherebyexpandourboundaries.Intheend,itislifeitselfwhichisthemountain,theteacher,servingusupperfectopportunitiestodotheinnerworkofgrowinginstrengthandwisdom.Andwehavealotoflearningandgrowingtodooncewechoosetomakethejourney.Therisksareconsiderable,thesacrificesawesome,theoutcomealwaysuncertain.Ultimately,itistheclimbitselfwhichistheadventure,notjuststandingatthetop.

Firstwelearnwhatit’slikeatthebase.Onlylaterdoweencountertheslopes,andfinally,perhaps,thetop.Butyoucan’tstayatthetopofamountain.Thejourneyupisnotcompletewithoutthedescent,thesteppingbackandseeingthewholeagainfromafar.Havingbeenatthesummit,however,youhavegainedanewperspective,anditmaychangeyourwayofseeingforever.

Inawonderfullyunfinishedstorycalled“MountAnalogue,”RenéDaumaloncemappedapieceofthisinwardadventure.ThepartIremembermostvividlyinvolvestheruleonMountAnaloguethatbeforeyoumoveupthemountaintoyournextencampment,youmustreplenishthecampyouareleavingforthosewhowillcomeafteryou,andgodownthemountainawaystosharewiththeotherclimbersyourknowledgefromfartherupsothattheymayhavesomebenefitfromwhatyouhavelearnedsofaronyourownascent.

Inaway,that’sallanyofusdowhenweteach.Asbestwecan,weshowotherswhatwehaveseenuptonow.It’satbestaprogressreport,amapofourexperiences,bynomeanstheabsolutetruth.Andsotheadventureunfolds.WeareallonMountAnaloguetogether.Andweneedeachother’shelp.

Interconnectedness

Itseemsweknowfullwellfromchildhoodthateverythingisconnectedtoeverythingelseincertainways,thatthishappensbecausethathappened,thatforthistohappen,thathastohappen.Justrecallallthoseoldfolktales,suchastheoneaboutthefoxwhodrinksmostofanoldwoman’spailofmilkwhichsheneglectedtowatchasshewasgatheringwoodforafire.Shecutsoffhistailinafitofanger.Thefoxasksforhistailback,andtheoldwomansaysshewillsewhistailbackonforhimifhewillgiveherbackhermilk.Sohegoestothecowinthefieldandasksforsomemilk,andthecowsaysshewillgivethefoxsomemilkifthefoxbringshersomegrass.Sothefoxgoestothefieldandasksforsomegrass,andthefieldsays,“Bringmesomewater.”Sohegoestothestreamandasksforwaterandthestreamsays,“Bringmeajug.”Thisgoesonuntilamiller,outofkindnessandsympathy,givesthefoxsomegraintogivethehentogettheeggtogivetothepeddlertogetthebeadtogivetothemaidentogetthejugtofetchthewater…andsothefoxgetshistailbackandgoesawayhappy.Thishastohappeninorderforthattohappen.Nothingcomesfromnothing.Everythinghasantecedents.Eventhemiller’skindnesscamefromsomewhere.

Lookingdeeplyintoanyprocess,wecanseethatthesameapplies.Nosunlight,nolife.Nowater,nolife.Noplants,nophotosynthesis,nophotosynthesis,nooxygenforanimalstobreathe.Noparents,noyou.Notrucks,nofoodinthecities.Notruckmanufacturers,notrucks.Nosteelworkers,nosteelforthemanufacturers.Nomining,nosteelforthesteelworkers.Nofood,nosteelworkers.Norain,nofood.Nosunlight,norain.Noconditionsforstarandplanetformationintheformativeuniverse,nosunlight,noEarth.Theserelationshipsarenotalwayssimpleandlinear.Usuallythingsareembeddedinacomplexweboffinelybalancedinterconnections.Certainlywhatwecalllife,orhealth,orthebiosphere,areallcomplexsystemsofinterconnections,withnoabsolutestartingpointorendpoint.

Soweseethefutilityandthedangeroflettingourthinkingmakeanythingorcircumstanceintoanabsolutelyseparateexistencewithoutbeingmindfulofinterconnectednessandflux.Everythingisrelatedtoeverythingelseand,inaway,simultaneouslycontainseverythingelseandiscontainedbyeverythingelse.Whatismore,everythingisinflux.Starsareborn,gothroughstages,anddie.Planetsalsohavearhythmofformationandultimatedemise.Newcarsarealreadyontheirwaytothejunkheapevenbeforetheyleavethefactory.Thisawarenessmighttrulyenhanceourappreciationofimpermanenceandhelpustotakethingsandcircumstancesandrelationshipslessforgrantedwhiletheyarearound.Wemightappreciatelifemore,peoplemore,foodmore,opinionsmore,momentsmore,ifweperceive,byourownlookingmoredeeplyintothem,thateverythingweareincontactwithconnectsustothewholeworldineachmoment,andthatthingsandotherpeople,andevenplacesandcircumstances,areonlyheretemporarily.Itmakesnowsomuchmoreinteresting.Infact,itmakesnoweverything.

Mindfulnessofbreathingisonestringonwhichthebeadsofourexperience,ourthoughts,ourfeelings,ouremotions,ourperceptions,ourimpulses,ourunderstanding,ourveryconsciousnesscanbethreaded.Thenecklacecreatedissomethingnew—notathingreally,butanewwayofseeing,anewwayofbeing,anewwayofexperiencingthatpermitsanewwayofactingintheworld.Thisnewwayseemstoconnectwhatseemstobeisolated.Butactually,nothingiseverisolatedandneedsreconnecting.It’sourwayofseeingwhichcreatesandmaintainsseparation.

Thisnewwayofseeingandnewwayofbeingholdslifefragmentsandgivesthemplace.Ithonors

eachmomentinitsownfullnesswithinalargerfullness.Mindfulnesspracticeissimplytheongoingdiscoveryofthethreadofinterconnectedness.Atsomepoint,wemayevencometoseethatitisnotquitecorrecttosaythatwearedoingthethreading.It’smorelikewebecomeconsciousofaconnectednesswhichhasbeenhereallthetime.Wehaveclimbedtoavantagepointfromwhichwecanmorereadilyperceivewholeness,andcancradletheflowofpresentmomentsinawareness.Theflowofthebreathandtheflowofpresentmomentsinterpenetrate,beadsandthreadtogethergivingsomethinglarger.

Onemergesintoanother,groupsmeltintoecologicalgroupsuntilthetimewhenwhatweknowaslifemeetsandenterswhatwethinkofasnon-life:barnacleandrock,rockandearth,earthandtree,treeandrainandair….Anditisastrangethingthatmostofthefeelingwecallreligious,mostofthemysticaloutcryingwhichisoneofthemostprizedandusedanddesiredreactionsofourspecies,isreallytheunderstandingandtheattempttosaythatmanisrelatedtothewholething,relatedinextricablytoallreality,knownandunknowable.Thisisasimplethingtosay,buttheprofoundfeelingofitmadeaJesus,aSt.Augustine,aSt.Francis,aRogerBacon,aCharlesDarwin,andanEinstein.Eachoftheminhisowntempoandwithhisownvoicediscoveredandreaffirmedwithastonishmenttheknowledgethatallthingsareonethingandthatonethingisallthings—plankton,ashimmeringphosphorescenceontheseaandspinningplanetsandtheexpandinguniverse,allboundtogetherbytheelasticstringoftime.

JOHNSTEINBECKANDEDWARDF.RICKETTS,

SeaofCortez

Non-Harming—Ahimsa

AfriendcamebackafterseveralyearsinNepalandIndiain1973andsaidofhimself,“IfIcan’tdoanythinguseful,atleastIwouldliketodoaslittleharmaspossible.”

Iguessyoucanbringbackallsortsofcommunicablethingsfromdistantpartsifyou’renotcareful.Iwasinfectedwiththeideaofahimsarightthenandthereinmylivingroom,andIhaveneverforgottenthemomentithappened.Ihadhearditbefore.Theattitudeofnon-harmingliesattheheartofyogapracticeandoftheHippocraticOath.ItwastheunderlyingprincipleofGandhi’srevolutionandofhispersonalmeditationpractice.Buttherewassomethingaboutthesinceritywithwhichmyfriendmadehiscomment,coupledwiththeincongruityofthepersonIthoughtIknewsayingit,thatimpressedme.Itstruckmeasagoodwaytorelatetotheworldandtooneself.Whynottrytolivesoastocauseaslittledamageandsufferingaspossible?Ifwelivedthatway,wewouldn’thavetheinsanelevelsofviolencethatdominateourlivesandourthinkingtoday.Andwewouldbemoregeneroustowardourselvesaswell,onthemeditationcushion,andoffit.

Likeanyotherview,non-harmingmaybeaterrificprinciple,butit’sthelivingofitthatcounts.Youcanstartpracticingahimsa’sgentlenessonyourselfandinyourlifewithothersinanymoment.

Doyousometimesfindthatyouarehardonyourselfandputyourselfdown?Rememberahimsainthatmoment.Seeitandletitgo.

Doyoutalkaboutothersbehindtheirbacks?Ahimsa.Doyoupushyourselfbeyondyourlimitswithnoregardforyourbodyandyourwell-being?Ahimsa.Doyoucauseotherpeoplepainorgrief?Ahimsa.Itiseasytorelatewithahimsatosomeonewho

doesn’tthreatenyou.Thetestisinhowyouwillrelatetoapersonorsituationwhenyoudofeelthreatened.

Thewillingnesstoharmorhurtcomesultimatelyoutoffear.Non-harmingrequiresthatyouseeyourownfearsandthatyouunderstandthemandownthem.Owningthemmeanstakingresponsibilityforthem.Takingresponsibilitymeansnotlettingfearcompletelydictateyourvisionoryourview.Onlymindfulnessofourownclingingandrejecting,andawillingnesstograpplewiththesemindstates,howeverpainfultheencounter,canfreeusfromthiscircleofsuffering.Withoutadailyembodimentinpractice,loftyidealstendtosuccumbtoself-interest.

Ahimsaistheattributeofthesoul,andtherefore,tobepracticedbyeverybodyinalltheaffairsoflife.Ifitcannotbepracticedinalldepartments,ithasnopracticalvalue.

MAHATMAGANDHI

Ifyoucan’tloveKingGeorgeV,say,orSirWinstonChurchill,startwithyourwife,oryourhusband,oryourchildren.Trytoputtheirwelfarefirstandyourownlasteveryminuteoftheday,andletthecircleofyourloveexpandfromthere.Aslongasyouaretryingyour

verybest,therecanbenoquestionoffailure.

MAHATMAGANDHI

Karma

I’veheardZenmasterssaythatdailymeditationpracticecouldturnbadkarmaintogoodkarma.Ialwayschalkedthisuptoaquaintmoralisticsalespitch.Ittookmeyearstogetthepoint.Iguessthat’smykarma.

Karmameansthatthishappensbecausethathappened.BisconnectedinsomewaytoA,everyeffecthasanantecedentcause,andeverycauseaneffectthatisitsmeasureanditsconsequence,atleastatthenon-quantumlevel.Overall,whenwespeakofaperson’skarma,itmeansthesumtotaloftheperson’sdirectioninlifeandthetenorofthethingsthatoccuraroundthatperson,causedbyantecedentconditions,actions,thoughts,feelings,senseimpressions,desires.Karmaisoftenwronglyconfusedwiththenotionofafixeddestiny.Itismorelikeanaccumulationoftendenciesthatcanlockusintoparticularbehaviorpatterns,whichthemselvesresultinfurtheraccumulationsoftendenciesofasimilarnature.So,itiseasytobecomeimprisonedbyourkarmaandtothinkthatthecausealwayslieselsewhere—withotherpeopleandconditionsbeyondourcontrol,neverwithinourselves.Butitisnotnecessarytobeaprisonerofoldkarma.Itisalwayspossibletochangeyourkarma.Youcanmakenewkarma.Butthereisonlyonetimethatyoueverhavetodoitin.Canyouguesswhenthatmightbe?

Here’showmindfulnesschangeskarma.Whenyousit,youarenotallowingyourimpulsestotranslateintoaction.Forthetimebeing,atleast,youarejustwatchingthem.Lookingatthem,youquicklyseethatallimpulsesinthemindariseandpassaway,thattheyhavealifeoftheirown,thattheyarenotyoubutjustthinking,andthatyoudonothavetoberuledbythem.Notfeedingorreactingtoimpulses,youcometounderstandtheirnatureasthoughtsdirectly.Thisprocessactuallyburnsupdestructiveimpulsesinthefiresofconcentrationandequanimityandnon-doing.Atthesametime,creativeinsightsandcreativeimpulsesarenolongersqueezedoutsomuchbythemoreturbulent,destructiveones.Theyarenourishedastheyareperceivedandheldinawareness.Mindfulnesscantherebyrefashionthelinksinthechainofactionsandconsequences,andindoingsoitunchainsus,freesus,andopensupnewdirectionsforusthroughthemomentswecalllife.Withoutmindfulness,wearealltooeasilystuckinthemomentumcomingoutofthepast,withnocluetoourownimprisonment,andnowayout.Ourdilemmaalwaysseemstobetheotherperson’sfault,ortheworld’sfault,soourownviewsandfeelingsarealwaysjustified.Thepresentmomentisneveranewbeginningbecausewekeepitfrombecomingone.

Howelsetoexplain,forexample,theall-too-commonobservationthattwopeoplewhohavelivedtheirwholeadultlivestogether,hadchildrentogether,tastedsuccessintheirownrealmstoadegreenotusuallyachieved,mightintheirlateryears,whenbyallaccountstheyshouldbeenjoyingthefruitsoftheirlabors,eachblametheotherformakinglifemiserable,forfeelingisolated,trappedinabaddream,somistreatedandabusedthatangerandhurtarethefabricofeachday?Karma.Inoneformoranother,youseeitoverandoveragaininrelationshipsgonesourormissingsomethingfundamentalfromthestart,theabsenceofwhichinvitessadness,bitterness,hurt.Soonerorlater,wearemostlikelytoreapthatwhichwehavesown.Practiceangerandisolationinarelationshipforfortyyears,andyouwindupimprisonedinangerandisolation.Nobigsurprise.Anditishardlysatisfactorytoapportionblamehere.

Ultimately,itisourmindlessnessthatimprisonsus.Wegetbetterandbetteratbeingoutoftouchwiththefullrangeofourpossibilities,andmoreandmorestuckinourcultivated-over-a-lifetimehabitsofnot-seeing,butonlyreactingandblaming.

Workinginprisons,Igettoseetheresultsof“bad”karmaupclose,althoughit’shardlyanydifferent

outsidetheprisonwalls.Everyinmatehasastoryofonethingleadingtoanother.Afterall,that’swhatstoriesare.Onethingleadingtoanother.Manyhardlyknowwhathappenedtothem,whatwentwrong.Usuallyit’salongchainofeventsstartingwithparentsandfamily,thecultureofthestreets,povertyandviolence,trustingpeopleyoushouldn’t,lookingforaneasybuck,soothingthehurtanddullingthesenseswithalcoholandotherchemicalswhichcloudmindandbody.Drugsdoit,butsodohistory,deprivation,andarresteddevelopment.Theywarpthoughtsandfeelings,actionsandvalues,leavingfewavenuesformodulatingorevenrecognizinghurtful,cruel,destructiveandself-destructiveimpulsesorcravings.

Andso,inonemoment,whichallyourothermomentsledupto,unbeknownsttoyou,youcan“loseyourmind,”commitanirreversibleact,andthenexperiencethemyriadwaysinwhichitshapesfuturemoments.Everythinghasconsequences,whetherweknowitornot,whetherweare“caught”bythepoliceornot.Wearealwayscaught.Caughtinthekarmaofit.Webuildourownprisonseveryday.Inoneway,myfriendsinprisonmadetheirchoices,whethertheyknewitornot.Inotherways,theydidn’thavechoices.Theyneverknewchoiceswerethere.Onceagain,weencounterwhatBuddhistscall“unawareness,”orignorance.Itisignoranceofhowunexaminedimpulses,especiallythosecoloredbygreedorhatred,howeverjustified,rationalized,orlegal,canwarpone’smindandone’slife.Suchmindstatesaffectusall,sometimesinbigdramaticways,butmostoftenbymoresubtlepaths.Wecanallbeimprisonedbyincessantwanting,byamindcloudedwithideasandopinionsitclingstoasiftheyweretruths.

Ifwehopetochangeourkarma,itmeanswehavetostopmakingthosethingshappenthatcloudmindandbodyandcoloroureveryaction.Itdoesn’tmeandoinggooddeeds.Itmeansknowingwhoyouareandthatyouarenotyourkarma,whateveritmaybeatthismoment.Itmeansaligningyourselfwiththewaythingsactuallyare.Itmeansseeingclearly.

Wheretostart?Whynotwithyourownmind?Afterall,itistheinstrumentthroughwhichallyourthoughtsandfeelings,impulsesandperceptionsaretranslatedintoactionsintheworld.Whenyoustopoutwardactivityforsometimeandpracticebeingstill,rightthere,inthatmoment,withthatdecisiontosit,youarealreadybreakingtheflowofoldkarmaandcreatinganentirelynewandhealthierkarma.Hereinliestherootofchange,theturningpointofalifelived.

Theveryactofstopping,ofnurturingmomentsofnon-doing,ofsimplywatching,putsyouonanentirelydifferentfootingvis-à-visthefuture.How?Becauseitisonlybybeingfullyinthismomentthatanyfuturemomentmightbeoneofgreaterunderstanding,clarity,andkindness,onelessdominatedbyfearorhurtandmorebydignityandacceptance.Onlywhathappensnowhappenslater.Ifthereisnomindfulnessorequanimityorcompassionnow,intheonlytimeweeverhavetocontactitandnourishourselves,howlikelyisitthatitwillmagicallyappearlater,understressorduress?

Theideathatthesoulwilljoinwiththeecstaticjustbecausethebodyisrotten—thatisallfantasy.Whatisfoundnowisfoundthen.

KABIR

WholenessandOneness

Whenweareintouchwithbeingwhole,wefeelatonewitheverything.Whenwefeelatonewitheverything,wefeelwholeourselves.

Sittingstillorlyingstill,inanymomentwecanreconnectwithourbody,transcendthebody,mergewiththebreath,withtheuniverse,experienceourselvesaswholeandfoldedintolargerandlargerwholes.Atasteofinterconnectednessbringsdeepknowledgeofbelonging,asenseofbeinganintimatepartofthings,asenseofbeingathomewhereverweare.Wemaytasteandwonderatanancienttimelessnessbeyondbirthanddeath,andsimultaneouslyexperiencethefleetingbrevityofthislifeaswepassthroughit,theimpermanenceofourtiestoourbody,tothismoment,toeachother.Knowingourwholenessdirectlyinthemeditationpractice,wemayfindourselvescomingtotermswiththingsastheyare,adeepeningofunderstandingandcompassion,alesseningofanguishanddespair.

Wholenessistherootofeverythingthatthewordshealth,healing,andholysignifyinourlanguageandourculture.Whenweperceiveourintrinsicwholeness,thereistrulynoplacetogoandnothingtodo.Thus,wearefreetochooseapathforourselves.Stillnessbecomesavailableindoingandinnon-doing.Wefinditlyingwithinourselvesatalltimes,andaswetouchit,tasteit,listentoit,thebodycannotbuttouchit,tasteit,listenaswell,andinsodoing,letgo.Andthemindtoocomestolisten,andknowsatleastamomentofpeace.Openandreceptive,wefindbalanceandharmonyrighthere,allspacefoldedintothisplace,allmomentsfoldedintothismoment.

Ordinarymenhatesolitude.ButtheMastermakesuseofit,embracinghisaloneness,realizingheisonewiththewholeuniverse

LAO-TZU,Tao-te-Ching

PeacecomeswithinthesoulsofmenWhentheyrealizetheironenesswiththeuniverse.

BLACKELK

Siddharthalistened.Hewasnowlisteningintently,completelyabsorbed,quiteempty,takingineverything.Hefeltthathehadnowcompletelylearnedtheartoflistening.Hehadoftenheardallthisbefore,allthesenumerousvoicesintheriver,buttodaytheysoundeddifferent.Hecouldnolongerdistinguishthedifferentvoices—themerryvoicefromtheweepingvoice,thechildishvoicefromthemanlyvoice.Theyallbelongedtoeachother:thelamentofthosewhoyearn,thelaughterofthewise,thecryofindignationandthegroanofthedying.Theywereallinterwovenandinterlocked,entwinedinathousandways.Andallthevoices,allthegoals,allthepleasures,allthegoodandevil,allofthemtogetherwastheworld.Allofthemtogetherwasthestreamofevents,themusicoflife.WhenSiddharthalistenedattentivelytothisriver,tothissongofathousandvoices,whenhedidnotlistentothesorroworthelaughter,whenhedidnotbindhissoultoanyoneparticularvoiceandabsorbitinhisSelf,butheardthemall,thewhole,theunity,thenthegreatsongofathousandvoicesconsistedofoneword.

HERMANNHESSE,Siddhartha

Whatisneededistolearnafresh,toobserve,andtodiscoverforourselves,themeaningofwholeness.

DAVIDBOHM,WholenessandtheImplicateOrder

Iamlarge;Icontainmultitudes.

WALTWHITMAN,LeavesofGrass

EachnessandSuchness

Wholenessexperiencedfirsthandcannotbetyrannical,foritisinfiniteinitsdiversityandfindsitselfmirroredandembeddedineachparticular,liketheHindugoddessIndra’snet,asymboloftheuniverse,whichhasjewelsatallthevertices,eachonecapturingthereflectionsoftheentirenetandsocontainingthewhole.Somewouldhaveusworship,uniformly,atthealtarofoneness,usingtheideaofunityratherthananongoingencounterwithittosteamroller-like,flattenoutalldifferences.Butitisintheuniquequalitiesofthisandthat,theirparticularindividualityandproperties—intheireachnessandtheirsuchness,ifyouwill—thatallpoetryandart,scienceandlife,wonder,grace,andrichnessreside.

Allfacesresembleeachother,yethoweasilyweseeineachuniqueness,individuality,anidentity.Howdeeplywevaluethesedifferences.Theoceanisawhole,butithascountlesswaves,everyonedifferentfromalltheothers;ithascurrents,eachunique,ever-changing;thebottomisalandscapeallitsown,differenteverywhere;similarlytheshoreline.Theatmosphereiswhole,butitscurrentshaveuniquesignatures,eventhoughtheyarejustwind.Lifeonearthisawhole,yetitexpressesitselfinuniquetime-boundbodies,microscopicorvisible,plantoranimal,extinctorliving.Sotherecanbenooneplacetobe.Therecanbenoonewaytobe,noonewaytopractice,noonewaytolearn,noonewaytolove,noonewaytogrowortoheal,noonewaytolive,noonewaytofeel,noonethingtoknoworbeknown.Theparticularscount.

TheChicadeeThechicadeeHopsneartome.

THOREAU

Themanpullingradishespointedthewaywitharadish.

ISSA

Oldpond,frogjumpsin—splash.

BASHO

Midnight.Nowaves,nowind,theemptyboatisfloodedwithmoonlight.

DOGEN

Gettheidea?

WhatIsThis?

Thespiritofinquiryisfundamentaltolivingmindfully.Inquiryisnotjustawaytosolveproblems.Itisawaytomakesureyouarestayingintouchwiththebasicmysteryoflifeitselfandofourpresencehere.WhoamI?WhereamIgoing?Whatdoesitmeantobe?Whatdoesitmeantobea…man,woman,child,parent;astudent,aworker,aboss,aninmate;ahomelessperson?Whatismykarma?WhereamInow?Whatismyway?WhatismyjobontheplanetwithacapitalJ?

Inquirydoesn’tmeanlookingforanswers,especiallyquickanswerswhichcomeoutofsuperficialthinking.Itmeansaskingwithoutexpectinganswers,justponderingthequestion,carryingthewonderingwithyou,lettingitpercolate,bubble,cook,ripen,comeinandoutofawareness,justaseverythingelsecomesinandoutofawareness.

Youdon’thavetobestilltoinquire.Inquiryandmindfulnesscanoccursimultaneouslyintheunfoldingofyourdailylife.Infact,inquiryandmindfulnessareoneandthesamething,cometofromdifferentdirections.Youcanponder“WhatamI”or“Whatisthis?”or“WhereamIgoing?”or“Whatismyjob?”asyouarefixingacar,walkingtowork,doingthedishes,listeningtoyourdaughtersingonastarlitspringevening,orlookingforajob.

Problemsofallshapesandsizescomeupallthetimeinlife.Theyrangefromthetrivialtotheprofoundtotheoverwhelming.Thechallengehereistomeetthemwithinquiry,inthespiritofmindfulness.Itwouldmeanasking,“Whatisthisthought,thisfeeling,thisdilemma?”“HowamIgoingtodealwithit?”Oreven,“AmIwillingtodealwithitorevenacknowledgeit?”

Thefirststepistoacknowledgethatthereisaproblem,whichmeansthereisstrainortensionordisharmonyofsomekind.Itmighttakeusfortyorfiftyyearstoevencomeclosetoacknowledgingsomeofthebigdemonswecarry.Butmaybethat’sokaytoo.There’snotimetableforinquiry.It’slikeapotsittingonyourshelf.It’sreadytodothecookingwheneveryouarereadytotakeitdown,putsomethinginit,andheatitonthestove.

Inquirymeansaskingquestions,overandoveragain.Dowehavethecouragetolookatsomething,whateveritis,andtoinquire,whatisthis?Whatisgoingon?Itinvolveslookingdeeplyforasustainedperiod,questioning,questioning,whatisthis?Whatiswrong?Whatisattherootoftheproblem?Whatistheevidence?Whataretheconnections?Whatwouldahappysolutionlooklike?Questioning,questioning,continuallyquestioning.

Inquiryisnotsomuchthinkingaboutanswers,althoughthequestioningwillproducealotofthoughtsthatlooklikeanswers.Itreallyinvolvesjustlisteningtothethinkingthatyourquestioningevokes,asifyouweresittingbythesideofthestreamofyourownthoughts,listeningtothewaterflowoverandaroundtherocks,listening,listening,andwatchinganoccasionalleafortwigasitiscarriedalong.

Selfing

Thetruevalueofahumanbeingisdeterminedprimarilybythemeasureandsenseinwhichhehasattainedliberationfromtheself.

ALBERTEINSTEIN,TheWorldAsISeeIt

“I,”“me,”and“mine”areproductsofourthinking.MyfriendLarryRosenberg,oftheCambridgeInsightMeditationCenter,callsit“selfing,”thatinevitableandincorrigibletendencytoconstructoutofalmosteverythingandeverysituationan“I,”a“me,”anda“mine,”andthentooperateintheworldfromthatlimitedperspectivewhichismostlyfantasyanddefense.Hardlyamomentpassesthatthisdoesn’thappen,butitissomuchapartofthefabricofourworldthatitgoescompletelyunnoticed,muchastheproverbialfishhasnoknowledgeofwater,sothoroughlyisitimmersedinit.Youcanseethisforyourselfeasilyenoughwhetheryouaremeditatinginsilenceorjustlivingafive-minutesegmentofyourlife.Outofvirtuallyanyandeverymomentandexperience,ourthinkingmindconstructs“my”moment,“my”experience,“my”child,“my”hunger,“my”desire,“my”opinion,“my”way,“my”authority,“my”future,“my”knowledge,“my”body,“my”mind,“my”house,“my”land,“my”idea,“my”feelings,“my”car,“my”problem.

Ifyouobservethisprocessofselfingwithsustainedattentionandinquiry,youwillseethatwhatwecall“theself”isreallyaconstructofourownmind,andhardlyapermanentone,either.Ifyoulookdeeplyforastable,indivisibleself,forthecore“you”thatunderlies“your”experience,youarenotlikelytofinditotherthaninmorethinking.Youmightsayyouareyourname,butthatisnotquiteaccurate.Yournameisjustalabel.Thesameistrueofyourage,yourgender,youropinions,andsoon.Nonearefundamentaltowhoyouare.

Whenyouinquireinthiswayasdeeplyasyoucanfollowthethreadintowhoyouareorwhatyouare,youarealmostsuretofindthatthereisnosolidplacetoland.Ifyouask:“WhoistheIwhoisaskingwhoamI?”,ultimatelyyoucometo,“Idon’tknow.”The“I”justappearsasaconstructwhichisknownbyitsattributes,noneofwhich,takensinglyortogether,reallymakesupthewholeoftheperson.Moreover,the“I”constructhasthetendencycontinuallytodissolveandreconstructitself,virtuallymomentbymoment.Italsohasastrongtendencytofeeldiminished,small,insecure,anduncertain,sinceitsexistenceissotenuoustobeginwith.Thisonlymakesthetyrannyandsufferingassociatedwithunawarenessofhowmuchwearecaughtupin“I,”“me,”and“mine”thatmuchworse.

Thenthereistheproblemofoutsideforces.The“I”tendstofeelgoodwhenoutsidecircumstancesaresupportingitsbeliefinitsowngoodness,andbadwhenitrunsintocriticism,difficulties,andwhatitperceivesasobstaclesanddefeats.Hereperhapsliesamajorexplanationfordiminishedself-esteeminmanypeople.Wearen’treallyfamiliarwiththisconstructedaspectofouridentityprocess.Thismakesiteasyforustoloseourbalanceandfeelvulnerableandinconsequentialwhenwearenotproppedupandreinforcedinourneedforapprovalorforfeelingimportant.Wearelikelytocontinuallyseekinteriorstabilitythroughoutsiderewards,throughmaterialpossessions,andfromotherswholoveus.Inthisway,wekeepourself-constructgoing.Yetinspiteofallthisself-generatingactivity,theremaystillbeno

senseofenduringstabilityinone’sownbeing,norcalmnessinthemind.Buddhistsmightsaythatthisisbecausethereisnoabsoluteseparate“self”inthefirstplace,justtheprocessofcontinualself-constructionor“selfing.”Ifwecouldonlyrecognizetheprocessofselfingasaningrainedhabitandthengiveourselvespermissiontotakethedayoff,tostoptryingsohardtobe“somebody”andinsteadjustexperiencebeing,perhapswewouldbealothappierandmorerelaxed.

Thisdoesn’tmean,bytheway,that“youhavetobeasomebodybeforeyoucanbeanobody,”oneofthebigNewAgedistortionsofmeditationpractice,bywhichismeantthatyoushouldhavearobustsenseofselfbeforeyouexploretheemptinessof“no-self.”No-selfdoesnotmeanbeinganobody.Whatitmeansisthateverythingisinterdependentandthatthereisnoisolated,independentcore“you.”Youareonlyyouinrelationshiptoallotherforcesandeventsintheworld—includingyourparents,yourchildhood,yourthoughtsandfeelings,outsideevents,time,andsoon.Moreover,youarealreadyasomebody,nomatterwhat.Youarewhoyoualreadyare.Butwhoyouareisnotyourname,yourage,yourchildhood,yourbeliefs,yourfears.Theyarepartofit,butnotthewhole.

So,whenwespeakaboutnottryingsohardtobe“somebody”andinsteadjustexperiencebeing,directly,whatitmeansisthatyoustartfromwhereyoufindyourselfandworkhere.Meditationisnotabouttryingtobecomeanobody,oracontemplativezombie,incapableoflivingintherealworldandfacingrealproblems.It’saboutseeingthingsastheyare,withoutthedistortionsofourownthoughtprocesses.Partofthatisperceivingthateverythingisinterconnectedandthatwhileourconventionalsenseof“having”aselfishelpfulinmanyways,itisnotabsolutelyrealorsolidorpermanent.So,ifyoustoptryingtomakeyourselfintomorethanyouareoutoffearthatyouarelessthanyouare,whoeveryoureallyarewillbealotlighterandhappier,andeasiertolivewith,too.

Wemightbeginbytakingthingsalittlelesspersonally.Whensomethinghappens,trytoseeitwithouttheself-orientation,justforfun.Maybeitjusthappened.Maybeit’snotaimedatyou.Watchyourmindatsuchtimes.Isitgettinginto“I”thisand“me”that?Askyourself,“WhoamI?”or,“Whatisthis‘I’thatisclaimingownership?”

Awarenessitselfcanhelpbalanceouttheselfingandreduceitsimpact.Notice,too,thattheselfisimpermanent.Whateveryoutrytoholdontothathastodowithyourselfeludesyou.Itcan’tbeheldbecauseitisconstantlychanging,decaying,andbeingreconstructedagain,alwaysslightlydifferently,dependingonthecircumstancesofthemoment.Thismakesthesenseofselfwhatiscalledinchaostheorya“strangeattractor,”apatternwhichembodiesorder,yetisalsounpredictablydisordered.Itneverrepeatsitself.Wheneveryoulook,itisslightlydifferent.

Theelusivenatureofaconcrete,permanent,unchangingselfisquiteahopefulobservation.Itmeansthatyoucanstoptakingyourselfsodamnseriouslyandgetoutfromunderthepressuresofhavingthedetailsofyourpersonallifebecentraltotheoperatingoftheuniverse.Byrecognizingandlettinggoofselfingimpulses,weaccordtheuniversealittlemoreroomtomakethingshappen.Sincewearefoldedintotheuniverseandparticipateinitsunfolding,itwilldeferinthefaceoftoomuchself-centered,self-indulgent,self-critical,self-insecure,self-anxiousactivityonourpart,andarrangeforthedreamworldofourself-orientedthinkingtolookandfeelonlytooreal.

Anger

ThelookofutterdespairandsilentpleadingformenottogetangryetchedintomydaughterNaushon’s11-year-oldfaceasIamgettingoutofthecaratherfriend’shouseearlyoneSundaymorningdoespenetratemyawareness,butnotcompletelyenoughtoreinintheannoyanceandangerwhichsheseesrisinginme,andwhichshefearswillmakeasceneandembarrassher.Iamfeelingtoomuchmomentuminthismomenttostopcompletely,althoughlaterIwouldwishIhad.IwishedthatIhadletherlookstopmeinthatmoment,touchme,turnmetowardseeingwhatwasreallyimportant—namely,thatshefeelsshecandependonmeandtrustmeratherthanfearthatIwillbetrayherormortifyheremergingsocialsensitivity.ButIamtooupsetinthismomentaboutbeingmanipulatedbyherfriend,whowassupposedtobereadyatacertaintimeandisn’t,tofullyappreciatemydaughter’sproblemhere.

Iamcaughtupinaneddyofself-righteousindignation.My“I”doesnotwanttobekeptwaiting,tobetakenadvantageof.IreassureherthatIwillnotmakeascene,butthatIalsowanttocommunicateaboutitrightnowbecauseIamfeelingused.Imakeearlymorninginquiries,tingedwithannoyance,ofhersleepymother;thenwait,inwardlyfuming,forwhatturnsouttobearemarkablyshorttime.

Andsothematterdissolved.Butnotinmymemory,whichstillcarries,andIhopealwayswill,thatlookonmydaughter’sfacethatIwasunabletoreadquicklyenoughtobefullypresentfor.HadIbeenableto,theangerwouldhavediedthenandthere.

Thereisapricewepayforbeingattachedtoanarrowviewofbeing“right.”Mypassingmoodstateisfarlessimportanttomethanhertrust.Butinthatmoment,hertrustgottrampledallthesame.Withoutcareandawareness,small-mindedfeelingstatescandominatethemoment.Ithappensallthetime.Thecollectivepainwecauseothersandourselvesbleedsoursouls.Hardasitisforustoadmit,especiallyaboutourselves,self-tingedangermaybesomethingweindulgeinandsurrendertofartoooften.

Cat-FoodLessons

Ihatefindingcakedcatdishesinthekitchensinkalongwithours.I’mnotsurewhythispushesmybuttonssostrongly,butitdoes.PerhapsitcomesfromnothavinghadapetwhenIwasgrowingup.OrmaybeIthinkit’sapublichealththreat(youknow,virusesandthelike).WhenIchoosetocleanthecats’bowls,Ifirstcleanthewholesinkofourdishes,thenIwashtheirs.Anyway,Idon’tlikeitwhenIfinddirtycatdishesinthesink,andIreactrightawaywhenIdo.

FirstIgetangry.ThentheangergetsmorepersonalandIfindmyselfdirectingitatwhoeverIthinkistheculprit,whichisusuallymywife,Myla.Ifeelhurtbecauseshedoesn’trespectmyfeelings.ItellheroncountlessoccasionsthatIdon’tlikeit,thatitdisgustsme.I’veaskedheraspolitelyasIknowhownotdoit,butsheoftendoesitanyway.ShefeelsI’mbeingsillyandcompulsive,andwhenshe’spressedfortime,shejustleavesthecakedcatdishessoakinginthesink.

Mydiscoveryofcatfoodinthesinkcanquicklyescalatetoaheateddispute,mostlybecauseIamfeelingangryandhurtandabovealljustifiedin“my”anger,“my”hurt,becauseIknow“I”amright.Catfoodshouldn’tbeinthesink!Butwhenitis,theselfingonmypartcangetratherstrong.

Recently,I’venoticedthatIamnotgettingsobentoutofshapeaboutthis.Ididn’tspecificallytrytochangehowI’mdealingwithit.Istillfeelthesameaboutthecatfood,butsomehow,I’mseeingthewholethingdifferentlytoo,withgreaterawarenessandwithmuchmoreofasenseofhumor.Forone,whenithappensnow—anditstilldoeswithannoyingfrequency—IfindthatIamawareofmyreactionthemomentithappensandIlookatit.“Thisisit,”Iremindmyself!

Iobservetheangerasitstartsrisinginme.Itturnsoutthatitisprecededbyamildfeelingofrevulsion.ThenInoticethestirringsofafeelingofbetrayalwhichisnotsomild.Someoneinmyfamilydidn’trespectmyrequest,andIamtakingitverypersonally.Afterall,myfeelingscountinthefamily,don’tthey?

Ihavetakentoexperimentingwithmyreactionsatthekitchensinkbywatchingthemverycloselywithoutactingonthem.Icanreportthattheinitialfeelingofrevulsionisnotallthatbad,andifIstaywithit,breathewithit,andpermitmyselftojustfeelit,itactuallygoesawaywithinasecondortwo.Ihavealsonoticedthatitisthesenseofbetrayal,ofbeingthwartedinmywishes,thatmakesmemadmuchmorethanthecatfooditself.So,Idiscover,it’snotreallythecatfoodbyitselfthatisthesourceofmyanger.It’sthatI’mnotfeelinglistenedtoandrespected.Verydifferentfromthecatfood.Aha!

ThenIrememberthatmywifeandkidsseethiswholethingverydifferently.TheythinkIammakingabigdealoutofnothing,andthatwhiletheywilltrytorespectmywisheswhenitfeelsreasonabletothem,atothertimesitdoesn’tandtheyjustdoitanyway,maybeevenwithoutthinkingaboutmeatall.

SoI’vestoppedtakingitpersonally.WhenIreallydon’twantcatfoodinthesink,IrollupmysleevesandIcleanthedishesinthatmoment.Otherwise,Ijustleavethemthereandgoaway.Wenolongerhavefightsaboutit.Infact,IfindmyselfsmilingnowwhenIdocomeacrosstheoffendingobjectsinthesink.Afterall,theyhavetaughtmealot.

TRY:Watchingyourreactionsinsituationsthatannoyyouormakeyouangry.Noticehoweven

speakingofsomething“making”youangrysurrendersyourpowertoothers.Suchoccasionsaregoodopportunitiestoexperimentwithmindfulnessasapotintowhichyoucanputallyourfeelingsandjustbe

withthem,lettingthemslowlycook,remindingyourselfthatyoudon’thavetodoanythingwiththemrightaway,thattheywillbecomemorecooked,moreeasilydigestedandunderstoodsimplybyholdingtheminthepotofmindfulness.

Observethewaysinwhichyourfeelingsarecreationsofyourmind’sviewofthings,andthatmaybethatviewisnotcomplete.Canyouallowthisstateofaffairstobeokayandneithermakeyourselfrightorwrong?Canyoubepatientenoughandcourageousenoughtoexploreputtingstrongerandstrongeremotionsintothepotandjustholdingthemandlettingthemcook,ratherthanprojectingthemoutwardandforcingtheworldtobeasyouwantittobenow?Canyouseehowthispracticemightleadtoknowingyourselfinnewways,andfreeingyourselffromold,worn-out,limitingviews?

ParentingasPractice

ItookupmeditatingwhenIwasinmyearlytwenties.Inthosedays,Ihadsomeflexibilityintermsofmytime,andwasabletoperiodicallyattendmeditationretreatslastingtendaysortwoweeks.Theseretreatsweredesignedsothattheparticipantscoulddevoteeachdayfromearlymorningtolateatnightsolelytomindfulsittingandwalking,withafewheartyvegetarianmealsthrownin,allinsilence.Weweresupportedinthisinnerworkbyexcellentmeditationteachers,whowouldgiveinspiringtalksintheeveningtohelpusdeepenandbroadenourpractice,andwhowouldseeuseverysooftenforindividualinterviewstocheckonhowthingsweregoing.

Ilovedtheseretreatsbecausetheyenabledmetoputeverythingelseinmylifeonhold,gooffsomeplacepleasantandpeacefulinthecountryside,gettakencareof,andliveanextremelysimplifiedcontemplativelife,wheretheonlyrealagendawastopractice,practice,practice.

Notthatitwaseasy,mindyou.Therewasoftenalotofphysicalpainjustfromsittingstillforthatmanyhours,andthatwasnothingcomparedtotheemotionalpainwhichwouldsometimessurfaceasthemindandbodybecamemorestillandlessbusy.

WhenmywifeandIdecidedtohavechildren,IknewthatIwouldhavetogiveuptheretreats,atleastforsometime.IsaidtomyselfthatIcouldalwaysreturntothecontemplativesettingwhenmychildrenhadgrownupenoughnottoneedmearoundallthetime.Therewasacertainromantictouchtothefantasyofreturningtothemonasticlifeasanoldman.Theprospectofgivinguptheseretreats,oratleastcuttingbackonthemalot,didn’tbothermetoomuchbecause,muchasIvaluedthem,Ihaddecidedthattherewasawaytolookathavingchildrenasameditationretreatinitsownright—onethatwouldhavemostoftheimportantfeaturesofthoseIwasgivingup,exceptforthequietandthesimplicity.

ThiswashowIsawit:YoucouldlookateachbabyasalittleBuddhaorZenmaster,yourownprivatemindfulnessteacher,parachutedintoyourlife,whosepresenceandactionswereguaranteedtopusheverybuttonandchallengeeverybeliefandlimityouhad,givingyoucontinualopportunitiestoseewhereyouwereattachedtosomethingandtoletgoofit.Foreachchild,itwouldbeatleastaneighteen-yearretreat,withvirtuallynotimeoffforgoodbehavior.Theretreatschedulewouldberelentlessanddemandcontinualactsofselflessnessandlovingkindness.Mylife,whichuptothattimebasicallyconsistedoflookingaftermyownpersonalneedsanddesires,perfectlynormalforayoungsingleperson,wasabouttochangeprofoundly.Becomingaparentclearlywasgoingtobethebiggesttransformationofmyadultlifesofar.TodoitwellwoulddemandthegreatestclarityofviewandthegreatestlettinggoandlettingbeIhadeverbeenchallengedwith.

Forone,babiesinviteandrequireattendingtoconstantly.Theirneedsmustbemetontheirschedule,notyours,andeveryday,notjustwhenyoufeellikeit.Mostimportantly,babiesandchildrenrequireyourfullpresenceasabeinginordertothriveandgrow.Theyneedtobeheld,themorethebetter,walkedwith,sungto,rocked,playedwith,comforted,sometimesnurturedlateatnightorearlyinthemorningwhenyouarefeelingdepleted,exhausted,andonlywanttosleep,orwhenyouhavepressingobligationsandresponsibilitieselsewhere.Thedeepandconstantlychangingneedsofchildrenareallperfectopportunitiesforparentstobefullypresentratherthantooperateintheautomaticpilotmode,torelateconsciouslyratherthanmechanically,tosensethebeingineachchildandlethisorhervibrancy,vitality,andpuritycallforthourown.Ifeltthatparentingwasnothingshortofaperfectopportunitytodeepen

mindfulness,ifIcouldletthechildrenandthefamilybecomemyteachers,andremembertorecognizeandlistencarefullytothelessonsinlivingwhichwouldbecomingfastandfuriously.

Likeanylongretreat,therehavebeeneasyperiodsandharderperiods,wonderfulmomentsanddeeplypainfulones.Throughitall,theprincipleoflookingatitasameditationretreatandhonoringthechildrenandthefamilysituationasmyteachershasprovenitsprimacyandvaluetimeandtimeagain.Parentingisahighpressurejobsituation.Intheearlyyears,itfeelslikeafull-timejobforabouttenpeople,andusuallythereareonlytwo,orevenone,todoitall,andnomanualwhichcomeswiththebabiestellingyouhowtoproceed.Itisthehardestjobintheworldtodowell,andmostofthetimeyoudon’tevenknowwhetheryouaredoingwell,orevenwhatthatmeans.Andwegetvirtuallynopreparationortrainingforparenting,onlyon-the-job,moment-to-momenttrainingasthingsunfold.

Atthebeginning,therearepreciousfewopportunitiesforrespite.Thejobcallsforyoutobecontinuallyengaged.Andthechildrenarealwayspushingyourlimitstofindoutabouttheworldandaboutwhotheyare.What’smore,astheygrowanddevelop,theychange.Nosoonerhaveyoufiguredouthowtorelatewelltoonesituationthantheygrowoutofthatandintosomethingyou’veneverseenbefore.Youhavetobecontinuallymindfulandpresentsothatyouaren’tlingeringwithaviewofthingsthatnolongerapplies.And,ofcourse,therearenostockanswersorsimpleformulasforhowtodothings“right”intheworldofparenting.Thismeansyouareunavoidablyincreativeandchallengingsituationsalmostallthetime,andatthesametime,facedwithalotofrepetitivetaskswhichyoudooverandover,againandagainandagain.

Anditgetsmorechallengingasthechildrengrowolderanddeveloptheirownideasandstrongwills.It’sonethingtolookaftertheneedsofbabies,whichareverysimple,afterall,especiallybeforetheycantalkandwhentheyareattheirabsolutecutestandmostadorable.It’squiteanothertoseeclearlyandtorespondeffectivelyandwithsomemodicumofwisdomandbalance(afterall,youaretheadult)whenthereisacontinualclashofwillswitholderchildren,whoarenotalwayssocuteandcuddly,whocanarguecirclesaroundyou,teaseeachothermercilessly,fight,rebel,refusetolisten,getintosocialsituationsinwhichtheyneedyourguidanceandclaritybutmaynotbeopentoit;inshort,whoseneedsrequireaconstantenergyoutputthatleavesyoulittletimeforyourself.Thelistofsituationsinwhichyourequanimityandclaritywillbesorelychallengedandyouwillfindyourself“losingit”isendless.Thereissimplynoescape,nohiding,nodissimilationthatwillserveeitherthemoryou.Yourchildrenwillseeitallfromtheinsideandupclose:yourfoibles,idiosyncrasies,wartsandpimples,yourshortcomings,yourinconsistencies,andyourfailures.

Thesetrialsarenotimpedimentstoeitherparentingormindfulnesspractice.Theyarethepractice,ifyoucanremembertoseeitthisway.Otherwise,yourlifeasaparentcanbecomeoneverylongandunsatisfyingburden,inwhichyourlackofstrengthandclarityofpurposemayleadtoforgettingtohonororeventoseetheinnergoodnessofyourchildrenandyourself.Childrencaneasilybecomewoundedanddiminishedfromachildhoodwhichconsistentlyfailstoadequatelyhonortheirneedsandtheirinnerbeauty.Woundingwilljustcreatemoreproblemsforthemandforthefamily,problemswithself-confidenceandself-esteem,withcommunicationandcompetencies,problemsthatdon’tdisappearontheirownasthechildrengrowolderbutusuallyamplify.Andasparents,wemaynotbeopenenoughtoperceivethesignsofthisdiminishmentorwoundingandthenbeabletoacttohealitbecauseitmayhavecomeinsomemeasurethroughourownhandsorthroughourownlackofawareness.Also,itmaybesubtle,easilydenied,orattributabletoothercauses,thusfreeingusinourownmindsfromaresponsibilitywhichmaybetrulyourstoassume.

Itisobviousthat,withallthatenergygoingoutward,therehastobesomesourceofenergycominginwhichnurturesandrevitalizestheparentsfromtimetotime,ortheprocessitselfwillnotbesustainableforlong.Wheremightthisenergycomefrom?Icanthinkofonlytwopossiblesources:outsidesupportfromyourpartner,otherfamilymembers,friends,baby-sitters,andsoonandfromdoing

otherthingsyoulove,atleastoccasionally;andinnersupport,whichyoucouldgetfromformalmeditationpracticeifyoucanmakeevenalittletimeinyourlifeforstillness,forjustbeing,forjustsitting,orfordoingalittleyoga,fornourishingyourselfinwaysthatyouneedtobenourished.

Imeditateearlyinthemorningbecausethereisnoothertimewhenthingsarequietinthehouseandnobodyisdemandingmyattention,andalsobecause,whatwithworkandotherobligations,ifIdon’tdoitthen,Imaybetootiredortoobusytogettoitlater.Ialsofindthatpracticingintheearlymorningsetsthetonefortheentireday.Itisbothareminderandanaffirmationofwhatisimportant,anditsetsthestageformindfulnesstospilloutnaturallyintootheraspectsoftheday.

Butwhenwehadbabiesinthehouse,eventhemorningtimewasupforgrabs.Youcouldn’tbetooattachedtoanythingbecauseeverythingyousetouttodo,evenifyouarrangeditverycarefully,wasalwaysgettinginterruptedorcompletelythwarted.Ourbabiessleptverylittle.Theyalwaysseemedtobeuplateandtowakeupearly,especiallyifIwasmeditating.TheyseemedtosensewhenIwasupandwouldwakeuptoo.SomedaysIwouldhavetopushmytimeformyselfbackto4:00A.M.togetanysittingoryogain.AtothertimesIwasjusttooexhaustedtocare,andfiguredthesleepwasmoreimportantanyway.AndsometimesIwouldjustsitwiththebabyonmylap,andlethimorherdecidehowlongitwouldlast.Theylovedbeingwrappedupinthemeditationblanket,withonlytheirheadsstickingout,andfrequentlywouldstaystillforextendedperiods,whileIfollowednotmybreathingbutourbreathing.

Ifeltstronglyinthosedays,andstilldo,thatanawarenessofmybodyandmybreathandofourclosecontactasIheldthemwhilewesathelpedmybabiestosensecalmnessandexplorestillnessandfeelingsofacceptance.Andtheirinnerrelaxation,whichwasmuchgreaterandpurerthanminebecausetheirmindswerenotfilledwithadultthoughtsandworries,helpedmetobemorecalmandrelaxedandpresent.Whentheyweretoddlers,Iwoulddoyogawiththemclimbingup,ridingon,orhangingfrommybody.Inplayingaroundonthefloor,wewouldspontaneouslydiscovernewyogaposturesfortwobodies,thingsthatwecoulddotogether.Amostlynon-verbal,mindful,andrespectfulbody-playofthissortwasasourceoftremendousfunandjoyformeasafatherandadeepsourceofconnectednessthatweallsharedin.

Theolderchildrenget,theharderitistorememberthattheyarestilllive-inZenmasters.Thechallengestobemindfulandnon-reactive,andtolookclearlyatmyreactionsandoverreactionsandtoownwhenIamoffseemtogetgreaterasIgraduallyhavelessandlessdirectsayintheirlives.OldtapesfrommyownupbringingseemtosurfacewiththevolumeonfullblastbeforeIknowwhatishappening.Archetypalmalestuff,aboutmyroleinthefamily,legitimateandillegitimateauthorityandhowtoassertmypower,howcomfortableIfeelinthehouse,interpersonalrelationshipsamongpeopleofverydifferentagesandstagesandtheiroft-competingneeds.Eachdayisanewchallenge.Oftenitfeelsoverwhelming,andsometimesquitelonely.Yousensewideninggulfs,andrecognizetheimportanceofdistanceforhealthypsychicdevelopmentandexploration;butthemovingapart,healthyasitmaybe,alsohurts.SometimesIforgetwhatitmeanstobeanadultmyselfandgetstuckininfantilebehaviors.Thekidsquicklystraightenmeoutandwakemeupagainifmyownmindfulnessisnotuptothetaskatthatmoment.

Parentingandfamilylifecanbeaperfectfieldformindfulnesspractice,butit’snotfortheweak-hearted,theselfishorlazy,orthehopelesslyromantic.Parentingisamirrorthatforcesyoutolookatyourself.Ifyoucanlearnfromwhatyouobserve,youjustmayhaveachancetokeepgrowingyourself.

Oncetherealizationisacceptedthatevenbetweentheclosesthumanbeingsinfinitedistancescontinuetoexist,awonderfullivingsidebysidecangrowup,iftheysucceedinlovingthedistancebetweenthemwhichmakesitpossibleforeachtoseetheotherwholeagainstthesky.

RAINERMARIARILKE,Letters

Theattainmentofwholenessrequiresonetostakeone’swholebeing.Nothinglesswilldo;therecanbenoeasierconditions,nosubstitutes,nocompromises.

C.G.JUNG

TRY:Ifyouareaparentorgrandparent,tryseeingthechildrenasyourteachers.Observetheminsilencesometimes.Listenmorecarefullytothem.Readtheirbodylanguage.Assesstheirself-esteembywatchinghowtheycarrythemselves,whattheydraw,whattheysee,howtheybehave.Whataretheirneedsinthismoment?Atthistimeintheirday?Atthisstageintheirlives?Askyourself,“HowcanIhelpthemrightnow?”Thenfollowwhatyourhearttellsyou.Andremember,adviceisprobablythelastthingthatwillbeusefulinmostsituations,unlessitisjusttherightmomentforit,andyouareverysensitivetothetimingandhowyouframethings.Justbeingcenteredyourself,fullypresentandopenandavailable,isagreatgiftforthem.Andmindfulhuggingdoesn’thurt,either.

ParentingTwo

Ofcourse,youareyourchildren’smajorlifeteacherasmuchastheyareyourteachers,andhowyoutakeonthisrolewillmakeabigdifferenceintheirlivesaswellasinyourown.Iseeparentingasextendedbuttemporaryguardianship.Whenwethinkofthemas“our”children,or“my”children,andstartrelatingtothemasourproperpossessionstoshapeandcontroltosatisfyourownneeds,weare,Ibelieve,indeeptrouble.Likeitornot,childrenareandwillalwaysbetheirownbeings;buttheyneedgreatloveandguidancetocometofullhumanness.Aproperguardianorguideneedswisdomandpatienceinabundancetopassonwhatismostimportanttothegenerationcomingalongthepath.Some—myselfincluded—needvirtuallyconstantmindfulnessinadditiontoourbasicinstinctsfornurturingandlovingandkindnessinordertodothisjobwell,protectingthemastheydeveloptheirownstrengths,views,andskillsformovingalongthepathstheywilllaterexploremorefullyontheirown.

Somepeoplewhofindmeditationvaluableintheirownlivesaresorelytemptedtoteachtheirchildrentomeditate.Thiscouldbeabigmistake.Tomymind,thebestwaytoimpartwisdom,meditation,oranythingelsetoyourchildren,especiallywhentheyareyoung,istoliveityourself,embodywhatyoumostwanttoimpart,andkeepyourmouthshut.Themoreyoutalkaboutmeditationorextolitorinsistthatyourchildrendothingsacertainway,themorelikelyyouare,Ithink,toturnthemofftoitforlife.Theywillsenseyourstrongattachmenttoyourview,theaggressionbehindyourdominatingthemandenforcingcertainbeliefsthatareonlyyourownandnottheirtruth,andtheywillknowthatthisisnottheirpathbutyours.Astheygrow,theymayalsodetectthehypocrisyofit,aswellasanydistancebetweenwhatisbeingprofessedandwhatisbeinglived.

Ifyouaredevotedtoyourownmeditationpractice,theywillcometoknowitandseeit,andacceptitmatteroffactly,aspartoflife,anormalactivity.Theymayevensometimesbedrawntoimitateyou,astheydowithmostotherthingsparentsdo.Thepointis,themotivationtolearnmeditationandtopracticeshouldforthemostpartoriginatewiththem,andbepursuedonlytothedegreethattheirinterestismaintained.

Therealteachingisalmostentirelynon-verbal.Mychildrensometimesdoyogawithmebecausetheyseemedoingit.Butmostofthetimetheyhavemoreimportantthingstodoandnointerestinit.Thesameistrueforsitting.Buttheydoknowaboutmeditation.Theyhavesomeideaofwhatitis,andtheyknowthatIvalueitandpracticeitmyself.Andwhentheywantto,theyknowhowtositfromsittingwithmewhentheywerelittle.

Ifyoupracticeyourself,youwilldiscovercertaintimeswhenitmaybesensibletomakemeditativerecommendationstoyourchildren.Thesesuggestionsmayormaynot“work”atthetime,buttheycanbeakindofplantingseedsforlater.Goodoccasionsarewhenyourchildrenareexperiencingpainorfearorarehavingahardtimelettinggointosleep.Withoutbeingover-bearingorinsistent,youcansuggestthattheytuneintotheirbreathing,slowitdown,floatonthewavesinalittleboat,watchthefearorthepain,lookforimagesandcolors,usetheirimaginationto“play”withthesituation,andthenremindthemselvesthatthesearejustpicturesinthemind,likemovies;thattheycanchangethemovie,thethought,theimage,thecolor,andsometimesfeelbetterquickerandfeelmoreincontrol.

Sometimesthisworkswellwithpreschoolers,buttheycangetembarrassedorthinkit’ssillyoncetheygettobearoundsixorseven.Thenthistoopasses,andtheybecomereceptiveagainatcertaintimes.

Inanyevent,seedshavebeenplantedsuggestingthatthereareinternalwaystoworkwithfearandpain,andoftentheywillcomebacktothisknowledgewhentheyareolder.Theywillknowfromdirectexperiencethattheyaremorethanjusttheirthoughtsandfeelings,andcanrelatetotheminwaysthatgivethemmorechoicestoparticipateinandinfluencetheoutcomesofvarioussituations;thatjustbecauseotherpeople’smindsarewavingabout,itdoesn’tmeanthattheirshavetotoo.

SomePitfallsAlongthePath

Ifyoufollowthelife-longpathofmindfulnesspractice,thebiggestpotentialobstacleatpointsalongyourjourneywillundoubtedlybeyourthinkingmind.

Forinstance,youmightcometothinkfromtimetotimethatyouaregettingsomewhere,especiallyifyouhavesomesatisfyingmomentsthattranscendwhatyouhaveexperiencedbefore.Thenyoumightgoaroundthinking,maybeevensaying,thatyouhavegottensomewhere,thatthemeditationpractice“works.”Theegowantstolayclaimandtakecreditforthisspecialfeelingorunderstanding,whateveritis.Assoonasthishappens,youarenolongerintomeditationbutintoadvertising.Itiseasytogetcaughthere,usingmeditationpracticetosupporttheself-inflationhabit.

Assoonasyou’recaught,youceaseseeingclearly.Evenaclearinsight,onceitisclaimedbythiskindofself-servingthinking,rapidlycloudsoverandlosesitsauthenticity.Soyouhavetoremindyourselfthatallcolorationsof“I,”“me,”and“mine”arejustcurrentsofthinkingthatareliabletocarryyouawayfromyourownheartandthepurityofdirectexperience.Thisreminderkeepsthepracticealiveforusattheverymomentswemayneeditthemostandarethemostreadytobetrayit.Itkeepsuslookingdeeply,inthespiritofinquiryandgenuinecuriosity,andaskingconstantly,“Whatisthis?”,“Whatisthis?”

Orperhaps,onoccasionyoumayfindyourselfthinkingthatyou’regettingnowherewithyourmeditationpractice.Nothingthatyouwanttohappenhashappened.Thereisasenseofstaleness,ofboredom.Hereagain,it’sthethinkingthat’stheproblem.Thereisnothingwrongwithfeelingsofboredomorstaleness,orofnotgettinganywhere,justasthereisnothingwrongwithfeelingthatyouaregettingsomewhereandinfact,yourpracticemaywellbeshowingsignsofbecomingdeeperandmorerobust.Thepitfalliswhenyouinflatesuchexperiencesorthoughtsandyoustartbelievinginthemasspecial.It’swhenyougetattachedtoyourexperiencethatthepracticearrests,andyourdevelopmentalongwithit.

TRY:Wheneveryoufindyourselfthinkingyouaregettingsomewhereorthatyou’renotgettingwhereyouaresupposedtobe,itcanbehelpfultoaskyourselfthingslike:“WhereamIsupposedtoget?”“Whoissupposedtogetsomewhere?”“Whyaresomemindstateslessvalidtoobserveandacceptasbeingpresentthanothers?”“AmIinvitingmindfulnessintoeachmoment,orindulginginmindlessrepetitionoftheformsofmeditationpractice,mistakingtheformfortheessenceofit?”“AmIusingmeditationasatechnique?”

Thesequestionscanhelpyoucutthroughthosemomentswhenself-involvedfeelingstates,mindlesshabits,andstrongemotionsdominateyourpractice.Theycanquicklybringyoubacktothefreshnessandbeautyofeachmomentasitis.Perhapsyouforgotordidn’tquitegraspthatmeditationreallyistheonehumanactivityinwhichyouarenottryingtogetanywhereelsebutsimplyallowingyourselftobewhereandasyoualreadyare.Thisisabittermedicinetoswallowwhenyoudon’tlikewhatishappeningor

whereyoufindyourself,butitisespeciallyworthswallowingatsuchtimes.

IsMindfulnessSpiritual?

Ifyoulookuptheword“spirit”inthedictionary,youwillfindthatitcomesfromtheLatin,spirare,meaning“tobreathe.”Theinbreathisinspiration;theoutbreathexpiration.Fromthesecomealltheassociationsofspiritwiththebreathoflife,vitalenergy,consciousness,thesoul,oftenframedasdivinegiftsbestoweduponus,andthereforeanaspectoftheholy,thenuminous,theineffable.Inthedeepestsense,thebreathitselfistheultimategiftofspirit.But,aswehaveseen,thedepthandrangeofitsvirtuescanremainunknowntousaslongasourattentionisabsorbedelsewhere.Theworkofmindfulnessiswakinguptovitalityineverymomentthatwehave.Inwakefulness,everythinginspires.Nothingisexcludedfromthedomainofspirit.

AsmuchasIcan,Iavoidusingtheword“spiritual”altogether.Ifinditneitherusefulnornecessarynorappropriateinmyworkatthehospitalbringingmindfulnessintothemainstreamofmedicineandhealthcare,norinothersettingsinwhichweworksuchasourmulti-ethnicinner-citystressreductionclinic,prisons,schools,andwithprofessionalorganizationsandathletes.NordoIfindtheword“spiritual”particularlycongenialtothewayIholdthesharpeninganddeepeningofmyownmeditationpractice.

Thisisnottodenythatmeditationcanbethoughtoffundamentallyasa“spiritualpractice.”It’sjustthatIhaveaproblemwiththeinaccurate,incomplete,andfrequentlymisguidedconnotationsofthatword.Meditationcanbeaprofoundpathfordevelopingoneself,forrefiningone’sperceptions,one’sviews,one’sconsciousness.But,tomymind,thevocabularyofspiritualitycreatesmorepracticalproblemsthanitsolves.

Somepeoplerefertomeditationasa“consciousnessdiscipline.”Ipreferthatformulationtotheterm“spiritualpractice”becausetheword“spiritual”evokessuchdifferentconnotationsindifferentpeople.Alltheseconnotationsareunavoidablyentwinedinbeliefsystemsandunconsciousexpectationsthatmostofusarereluctanttoexamineandthatcanalltooeasilypreventusfromdevelopingorevenfromhearingthatgenuinegrowthispossible.

Onoccasion,peoplecomeuptomeinthehospitalandtellmethattheirtimeinthestressreductionclinicwasthemostspiritualexperiencetheyeverhad.Iamhappythattheyfeelthatwaybecauseitiscomingdirectlyoutoftheirownexperiencewiththemeditationpractice,andnotfromsometheoryorideologyorbeliefsystem.IusuallythinkIknowwhattheymean;butIalsoknowthattheyaretryingtoputwordstoaninwardexperiencewhichisultimatelybeyondlabels.Butmydeepesthopeisthatwhatevertheirexperienceorinsightwas,itwillcontinueforthem,thatitwilltakeroot,stayalive,grow.Hopefullytheywillhaveheardthatthepracticeisnotaboutgettinganywhereelseatall,noteventopleasantorprofoundspiritualexperiences.Hopefullytheywillcometounderstandthatmindfulnessisbeyondallthinking,wishfulandotherwise,thatthehereandnowisthestageonwhichthisworkunfoldscontinuously.

Theconceptofspiritualitycannarrowourthinkingratherthanextendit.Alltoocommonly,somethingsarethoughtofasspiritualwhileothersareexcluded.Issciencespiritual?Isbeingamotherorfatherspiritual?Aredogsspiritual?Isthebodyspiritual?Isthemindspiritual?Ischildbirth?Iseating?Ispainting,orplayingmusic,ortakingawalk,orlookingataflower?Isbreathingspiritual,orclimbingamountain?Obviously,italldependsonhowyouencounterit,howyouholditinawareness.

Mindfulnessallowseverythingtoshinewiththeluminositythattheword“spiritual”ismeanttoconnote.Einsteinspokeof“thatcosmicreligiousfeeling”heexperiencedcontemplatingtheunderlyingorderofthephysicaluniverse.ThegreatgeneticistBarbaraMcClintock,whoseresearchwasbothignoredanddisdainedbyhermalecolleaguesforsomanyyearsuntilitwasfinallyrecognizedatageeightywithaNobelPrize,spokeof“afeelingfortheorganism”inhereffortstounravelandunderstandtheintricaciesofcorngenetics.Perhapsultimately,spiritualsimplymeansexperiencingwholenessandinterconnectednessdirectly,aseeingthatindividualityandthetotalityareinterwoven,thatnothingisseparateorextraneous.Ifyouseeinthisway,theneverythingbecomesspiritualinitsdeepestsense.Doingscienceisspiritual.Soiswashingthedishes.Itistheinnerexperiencewhichcounts.Andyouhavetobethereforit.Allelseismerethinking.

Atthesametime,youhavetobeonthelookoutfortendenciestowardself-deception,deludedthinking,grandiosity,self-inflation,andimpulsestowardexploitationandcrueltydirectedatotherbeings.Alotofharmhascomeinallerasfrompeopleattachedtooneviewofspiritual“truth.”Andalotmorehascomefrompeoplewhohidebehindthecloakofspiritualityandarewillingtoharmotherstofeedtheirownappetites.

Moreover,ourideasofspiritualityfrequentlyringwithaslightlyholier-than-thouresonancetotheattunedear.Narrow,literalistviewsofspiritoftenplaceitabovethe“gross,”“polluted,”“deluded”domainofbody,mind,andmatter.Fallingintosuchviews,peoplecanuseideasofspirittorunfromlife.

Fromamythologicalperspective,thenotionofspirithasanupwardlyrisingquality,asJamesHillmanandotherproponentsofarchetypalpsychologypointout.Itsenergyembodiesascent,arisingabovetheearthboundqualitiesofthisworldtoaworldofthenon-material,filledwithlightandradiance,aworldbeyondopposites,whereeverythingmergesintooneness,nirvana,heaven,acosmicunity.But,whileunityissurelyanall-too-rarehumanexperience,itisnottheendofthestory.Whatismore,alltoooftenitismerelyninepartswishfulthinking(butthinkingnonetheless)andonlyonepartdirectexperience.Thequestforspiritualunity,especiallyinyouth,isoftendrivenbynaiveteandaromanticyearningtotranscendthepain,thesuffering,andtheresponsibilitiesofthisworldofeachnessandsuchness,whichincludesthemoistandthedark.

Theideaoftranscendencecanbeagreatescape,ahigh-octanefuelfordelusion.ThisiswhytheBuddhisttradition,especiallyZen,emphasizescomingfullcircle,backtotheordinaryandtheeveryday,whattheycall“beingfreeandeasyinthemarketplace.”Thismeansbeinggroundedanywhere,inanycircumstances,neitherabovenorbelow,simplypresent,butfullypresent.AndZenpractitionershavethewhollyirreverentandwonderfullyprovocativesaying,“IfyoumeettheBuddha,killhim,”whichmeansthatanyconceptualattachmentstoBuddhaorenlightenmentarefarfromthemark.

Noticethatthemountainimageasweuseitinthemountainmeditationisnotmerelytheloftinessofthepeak,highaboveallthe“baseness”ofquotidianliving.Itisalsothegroundednessofthebase,rootedinrock,awillingnesstositandbewithallconditions,suchasfog,rain,snow,andcoldor,intermsofthemind,depression,angst,confusion,pain,andsuffering.

Rock,thestudentsofpsycheremindus,issymbolicalofsoulratherthanspirit.Itsdirectionisdownward,thesouljourneyasymbolicdescent,agoingunderground.Water,too,issymbolicalofsoul,embodyingthedownwardelement,asinthelakemeditation,poolinginthelowplaces,cradledinrock,darkandmysterious,receptive,oftencoldanddamp.

Thesoulfeelingisrootedinmultiplicityratherthanoneness,groundedincomplexityandambiguity,eachnessandsuchness.Soulstoriesarestoriesofthequest,ofriskingone’slife,ofenduringdarknessandencounteringshadows,ofbeingburiedundergroundorunderwater,ofbeinglostandattimesconfused,butperseveringnevertheless.Inpersevering,weultimatelycomeintouchwithourowngoldennessasweemergefromthedarknessandthesubmergedgloomoftheundergroundthatwemostfearedbutneverthelessfaced.Thisgoldennesswasalwaysthere,butithadtobediscoveredanewthroughthis

descentintodarknessandgrief.Itisoursevenifitremainsunseenbyothersorevenattimesbyusourselves.

Fairytalesinallculturesareforthemostpartsoulstoriesratherthanspiritstories.Thedwarfisasoulfigure,aswesawin“TheWaterofLife.”Cinderellaisasoulstory.Thearchetypethereisashes,asRobertBlypointedoutinIronJohn.You(becausethesestoriesareallaboutyou)arekeptdown,intheashes,closetothehearth,groundedbutalsogrieving,yourinnerbeautyunperceivedandexploited.Duringthistime,inwardly,anewdevelopmentistakingplace,amaturation,ametamorphosis,atempering,whichculminatesintheemergenceofafullydevelopedhumanbeing,radiantandgolden,butalsowisetothewaysoftheworld,nolongerapassiveandnaiveagent.Thefullydevelopedhumanbeingembodiestheunityofsoulandspirit,upanddown,materialandnon-material.

Themeditationpracticeitselfisamirrorofthisjourneyofgrowthanddevelopment.Ittootakesusdownaswellasup,demandsthatweface,evenembrace,painanddarknessaswellasjoyandlight.Itremindsustousewhatevercomesupandwhereverwefindourselvesasoccasionsforinquiry,foropening,forgrowinginstrengthandwisdom,andforwalkingourownpath.

Forme,wordslike“soul”and“spirit”areattemptstodescribetheinnerexperienceofhumanbeingsasweseektoknowourselvesandfindourplaceinthisstrangeworld.Notrulyspiritualworkcouldbelackinginsoul,norcananytrulysoulfulworkbedevoidofspirit.Ourdemons,ourdragons,ourdwarfs,ourwitchesandogres,ourprincesandprincesses,ourkingsandqueens,ourcrevicesandgrails,ourdungeonsandouroarsareallherenow,readytoteachus.Butwehavetolistenandtakethemoninthespiritoftheheroicnever-endingquesteachofusembodies,whetherweknowitornot,intheveryfabricofahumanlifelived,forwhatitmeanstobefullyhuman.Perhapsthemost“spiritual”thinganyofuscandoissimplytolookthroughourowneyes,seewitheyesofwholeness,andactwithintegrityandkindness.

…theireyes,theirancientglitteringeyes,aregay.

W.B.YEATS,LapizLazuli

Afterword

Idon’timaginepeoplebuybooksaboutmeditationallthatcasually.Thefactthatthisonehasnowbeeninprintfortenyearsandisinovertwentylanguagessuggeststhatpeoplearebeingdrawntoandtouchedbyitsbasicmessage,perhapsbecausewearesostarvedforourowndirectexperienceofbeingwhowesomehowknowdeepdownwealreadyare,butperhapsfeelslightlyatadistancefromallthesame.Perhapsitistappinganincreasinglywidespreadanddeepyearningforauthenticity,intimacy,andclarity,andremindingusofwhatwealreadyknow:thatthesequalitiescanbefoundonlywithinourselvesandwithintheunfoldingofourdirectexperienceofliving,andthatthatunfoldingisalwaysandonlyhere,andalwaysandonlynow,whateverourcircumstances.Perhapspeoplerecognizeinthetitlethecallingtowakeuptoourexperiencewhilewehavethechance,andhoweasyitistosleepwalkthroughandthereforemissmuchofourlife,tellingourselvesnicestoriesofwhoweareandwherewearegoing,alongthewaytosomedeludedfantasywemayneverreachandmightneverrecoverfromwerewetoarrive.

Thisbookissoclosetomyheart,anditfeelssocompletetomeasitis,that,whenaskedtowritesomethingforthistenthanniversaryedition,Ifoundmyselfreluctanttointroducenewmaterialatthebeginning,intheformofaforeword.Hence,thisAfterword.

Thereismuchtosay,and,atthesametime,nothingtosay.Themeditationpracticeitselfistimeless,anditisdeeplygratifyingtoseeittakingrootsodeeplyinoursocietyatatimeofsuchgreatinnerandouterturmoilandconfusion,andatatimeofsuchferocioustime-acceleration,drivenbytheadventofthedigitalageandfeedingourcapacityforgettingmoreandmoredoneinlessandlesstime,therebydramaticallyincreasingtheriskofneverbeingpresentwithandforourselves,oflosingtouchalmostentirelywiththedomainofbeing.Nothinglikethishaseverbeenseenintheentiretrajectoryofhumanity.Thespeciesitselfisatacriticaljuncture,atippingpoint,andmindfulness,ourinnatecapacityforwakefulnessandopen-heartedpresenceandclearseeing,hasneverbeenmorecriticallyimportant.

Tomymind,whatweneed,nowmorethanever,withinalltheturmoil,isaninnerwisdom,arotationinconsciousness,toaccompanyandshapethetrajectoryofourvariousengagementsintheworld,aswellastoguideusindividuallyandcollectivelyinthefulldevelopmentofourpotentialashumanbeings.Mindfulnessmeditation,especiallywhenitisunderstoodasawayofbeing,aslivinglifeasifitreallymattered,momentbymomentbymoment,ratherthanmerelyasatechniqueorasonemorethingyouhavetododuringyouralreadytoo-busyday,isonepowerfulvehicleforrealizingsuchtransformativeandhealingpossibilitiesinourselvesandintheworld.Andbecauseitisadoorintothetimeless,itoperatesbeyondtime,underneathtime,insideoftime,andsoallowsfortransformationwithouthavingtostrivetogetanywhereelse,orbeatoneselfupalongthewayforbeinginadequate,orimperfect.

For,asthebookaffirms,youarealreadyperfect.Weallare.Perfectlywhatweare,includingallourimperfectionsandinadequacies.Thequestionis:canwebewithit?Canwesitwithit?Canweknowit?Canweembraceourownwholenessandembodyit,here,wherewealreadyare,intheverysituations,good,bad,ugly,lost,confusing,heart-rending,terrifying,andpainful,thatwefindourselvesin?Canwebethisknowing?Canwerealizetheinfinitebeautyandmysteryandintelligenceofourownawarenessandrealize,too,thatitcanbeinfinitelyrefinedthroughtending,throughthecultivationofanaffectionateandtenderattention?Canwerealizethatwhereverwego,thereweareandthatthis“there”isalways

“here”andsorequiresatleastacknowledgmentandperhapsadegreeofacceptanceofwhatis,howeveritis,becauseitalreadyis?Canwegrowintoourselvesinourfullnessandliveourpreciousandfleetinglivesmorewisely?

Theseareallonequestionreally.Andthegutresponseis,Wecan,wecan….Whenyoucomerightdowntoit,whatelseistheretodo?Andwhatcouldbemoreimportantthantogiveourverylife,inthefullnessofitspossibilitiesanditsveryactualities,oftenunseen,unnoticed,andunused,backtoourselveswhilewehavethechance?Itiseither“Whereveryougo,thereyouare,”or“Whereveryougo,thereyouaren’t.”Botharetruetoadegreeinanymoment.Butwecanfiddlewiththedegreeness,andsoreclaimwhoandwhatwealreadyare,andalwayshavebeen,righthere,rightnow…onlytemporarilyforgotten.

Mindfulness,cultivatedforevenafewminutes,drawsthehearttowarditself.Itinvitestheintimacyweyearnforandthatiscallingtousbecause,ultimately,mindfulnessisintimacy—withourselvesandtheworld—underneathanyapparentseparationbetweenthetwo.Thepracticeofmindfulnessimmediatelymakesavailabletousboththeworld’sandourheart’sintrinsicgoodnessandbeauty,revealingthroughourdirectexperiencethepowerandsolaceofrestinginthepresentmomentinawareness,outofthewindofourafflictiveemotionsandtheagitationsofanunquietandcontinuallyjudgingmind,revealingaswellthatthesecannotbutabateontheirownifweceasedenyingthemorattemptingtoshutthemdown,whichonlyfeedstheirdisquietingenergiesandsooftenleadstoharmandsufferinginalldirections,inwardlyandoutwardly,ratherthantoilluminationandkindness.

Thedeepestofbowstoyouforthecourageandperseveranceinvolvedinthrowingyourselfwholeheartedlyintothisadventureofalifetime.Inoureverydaylives,weareallembodyingandmirroringthemyriademergentformsofthepossibleforeachotherandfortheworlditself,momentbymomentandbreathbybreath.Witheverybreath,wearecontinuallyinvitedtoembodyandthereforeactualizethepossiblemoreconsistently,moreardently,morecompassionately,withgreaterappreciationfortheclarity,sanity,andwell-beingthatarealwaysandalreadyrightbeneathournoses,andwithinallofus.

Maywecontinuetogiveourselvesovertowhatisdeepestandbestinourselves,overandoverandoveragain,encouragingthoseseedsofourtruestnaturetogrowandflowerand—forthesakeofallbeingsnearandfar,knownandunknown—nourishourlivesandworkandworldfrommomenttomoment,andfromdaytoday.

JonKabat-ZinnSpring2004

MindfulnessMeditationPracticeCDsWithJonKabat-Zinn

TherearethreesetsofMindfulnessMeditationPracticeCDs.

Theycanbeordereddirectlyfromthewebsite:www.mindfulnesstapes.com

SERIES1

(4CDs)containstheguidedmeditations[thebodyscanandsittingmeditation]andguidedmindfulyogapracticesusedbypeoplewhoenrolledinDr.Kabat-Zinn’sclassesintheStressReductionClinicattheUniversityofMassachusettsMedicalCenter.ThesepracticesaredescribedindetailinFullCatastropheLiving.EachCDis45minutesinlength.

SERIES2

(4CDs)isdesignedforpeoplewhowantarangeofshorterguidedmeditationstohelpthemdevelopand/orexpandapersonalmeditationpracticebasedonmindfulness.Theseriesincludesthemountainandlakemeditations(each20minutes)describedinthisbook,aswellasarangeofother10minute,20minute,and30minutesittingandlyingdownpractices.Thisserieswasoriginallydevelopedtocomplementthisbook.

SERIES3

(4CDs)isdesignedtoaccompanyDr.Kabat-Zinn’slatestbook,ComingtoOurSenses.Programsincludemindfulnessofbreathandbodysensations;mindfulnessofsoundsandhearing;mindfulnessofthoughtsandfeelings;cultivatingchoicelessawareness;andloving-kindnessmeditation.Allprogramsare20–30minutesinlength.

Formoreinformation,aswellastoorder,see:

www.mindfulnesstapes.com

Note:Series1andSeries2arealsoavailableasaudiocassetteprograms.

Theauthorgratefullyacknowledgespermissionfromthesesourcestoreprintthefollowing:FromIAmThat;TalkswithSriNisargadattaMaharaj.TranslatedfromtheMarathitaperecordings

byMauriceFrydman;editedbySukharS.Dikshit.Copyright1973ChetanaPvt.Ltd.,Bombay.FirstAmericaneditionpublishedbyTheAcornPress,Durham,N.C.,1982,sixthprinting1992.ReprintedbypermissionoftheAmericanpublisher.

PortionsreprintedfromTheEnlightenedHeartbyStephenMitchell(Wu-men,ChuangTzu,LiPo,Issa,Basso,Dogen),Harper&Row,1989.

FromTheKabirBookbyRobertBly.Copyright©1971,1977byRobertBly.ReprintedbypermissionofBeaconPress.

MarthaGrahamquotedinarticlebyAgnesDeMillepublishedinTheNewYorkTimes,Sunday,April7,1991.

PortionsreprintedfromTaoTeChing,trans.byStephenMitchell,HarperPerennial,1988.SpecifiedexcerptfromThePracticeoftheWildbyGarySnyder.Copyright©1990byGary

Snyder.ReprintedbypermissionofNorthPointPress,adivisionofFarrar,Straus&Giroux,Inc.SelectionreprintedfromTheJoyofInsightbyVictorWeisskopf,BasicBooks,1991.ExcerptfromTheSnowLeopard©1978byPeterMatthiessenusedbypermissionofVikingPenguin

adivisionofPenguinUSA.SelectionreprintedfromJohnSteinbeckandEdwardRicketts,SeaofCortez,1941.Usedby

permissionofAppelPublishers.SelectionreprintedfromWholenessandtheImplicateOrderbyDavidBohm,1980,Routledge&

KeganPaul,London,Boston.Usedbypermissionofthepublisher.FromTheWorldasISeeIt,©1956,1984bytheEstateofAlbertEinstein.Publishedby

arrangementwithCarolPublishingGroup.FromthebookIntroductiontoZenBuddhismbyD.T.Suzuki,copyright©1964byD.T.Suzuki.

UsedwiththepermissionofGrove/AtlanticMonthlyPress.SelectionreprintedwithpermissionofMacmillanPublishingCompanyfromThePoemsofW.B.

Yeats:ANewEdition,editedbyRichardJ.Finneran.Copyright1940byGeorgieYeats,renewed1968byBerthaGeorgiaYeats,MichaelButlerYeats,andAnneYeats.

QuotationsfromGandhiarereprintedbykindpermissionoftheNavajivanTrust,Ahmedabad14,India.

Theauthoralsowishestoacknowledgethefollowingreprintedmaterialforwhichnocopyrightholdercouldbefoundatthetimeofpublication:LettersbyRainerM.Rilke,translatedbyJaneBarnardGreeneandM.D.HertonNorton.Ifthecopyrightholderwishestocontactthepublisherregardingusehereinofitsmaterial,thepublishershallusebesteffortstoensurethatpropercreditwillappearwhenappropriateinallitsfutureeditionsofthisbook.

Acknowledgments

IwouldliketothankMylaKabat-Zinn,SarahDoering,LarryRosenberg,JohnMiller,DanielleLeviAlvares,RandyPaulsen,MartinDiskin,DennisHumphrey,andFerrisUrbanowskiforreadingearlydraftsofthemanuscriptandgivingmetheirvaluableinsightsandencouragement.MydeepappreciationtoTrudyandBarrySilversteinfortheuseofRockyHorseRanchduringanintensiveperiodofearlywriting,andtoJasonandWendyCookforWesternadventuresduringthosewonderfuldays.Profoundgratitudetomyeditors,BobMillerandMaryAnnNaples,fortheirdeepcommitmenttoexcellenceandthepleasureofworkingwiththem.Ithankthem,theHyperionfamily,literaryagent,PatriciaVanderLeun,DorothySchmidererBaker,bookdesigner,andBethMaynard,artist,forthecareandattentiontheygavetothebirthingofthisbook.

AbouttheAuthor

JonKabat-Zinn,Ph.D.,isameditationteacher,scientist,andwriter.HeisProfessorofMedicineemeritusattheUniversityofMassachusettsMedicalSchool,wherehewasfoundingexecutivedirector(in1995)oftheCenterforMindfulnessinMedicine,HealthCare,andSociety,andfounder(in1979)andformerdirectorofitsworld-renownedStressReductionClinic.Hisworkwasfeaturedinthe1993PBSSeries,HealingandtheMind,withBillMoyers.HeisalsotheauthorofFullCatastropheLiving:UsingtheWisdomofYourBodyandMindtoFaceStress,PainandIllness(Delta,1991),ComingtoOurSenses:HealingOurselvesandtheWorldThroughMindfulness(Hyperion,2005),andco-author,withhiswife,Myla,ofEverydayBlessings:TheInnerWorkofMindfulParenting(Hyperion,1997).HeisSeniorAdvisortotheConsortiumofAcademicHealthCentersforIntegrativeMedicine,andisontheBoardoftheMindandLifeInstitute,agroupthatorganizesdialoguesbetweentheDalaiLamaandWesternscientiststopromotedeeperunderstandingofdifferentwaysofknowingandresearchingthenatureofthemind,emotions,andreality.Hehastrainedgroupsofjudges,businessleaders,lawyers,clergy,Olympicathletes(the1984OlympicMen’sRowingTeam),andenvironmentalactivistsinmindfulness.Underhisdirection,theCenterforMindfulnessconductedmindfulness-basedstressreduction(MBSR)programsintheinnercityinSpanishaswellasinEnglish,andinthestateprisonsysteminMassachusetts.Heconductsannualmindfulnessretreatsforbusinessleadersandinnovators,andwithhiscolleaguesintheCenterforMindfulness,leadstrainingretreatsforhealthprofessionalsinMBSR.HisworkandthatofhiscolleaguesatUMassandaroundtheworldhascontributedtoagrowingmovementofmindfulnessintomainstreaminstitutionsinoursocietysuchasmedicine,healthcareandhospitals,schools,corporations,prisons,andprofessionalsports.

Credits

Coverdesign:DeFrancisStudioCoverphotograph:©Uniphoto,Inc.

Copyright

WHEREVERYOUGO,THEREYOUARE.Copyright©1994byJonKabat-Zinn.Afterword©2005byJonKabat-Zinn.AllrightsreservedunderInternationalandPan-AmericanCopyrightConventions.Bypaymentoftherequiredfees,youhavebeengrantedthenon-exclusive,non-transferablerighttoaccessandreadthetextofthise-bookon-screen.Nopartofthistextmaybereproduced,transmitted,down-loaded,decompiled,reverseengineered,orstoredinorintroducedintoanyinformationstorageandretrievalsystem,inanyformorbyanymeans,whetherelectronicormechanical,nowknownorhereinafterinvented,withouttheexpresswrittenpermissionofHyperione-books.

AdobeDigitalEditionDecember2009ISBN978-1-4013-9467-7

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