101 Haiku

for the Beloved(Meher Baba)

Joe DiSabatino

With illustrations by Joe DiSabatino

2005

GLOW

I remembered You 5000 times to see what happens insidemy heart churned pink ice cream all day

Chanting Baba's Namebrings the deepest pleasurepink pina coladas on a spring evening

O beautiful Ancient One —Your eyes must be weepingthis summer drizzle

On this Silence Daythe birds can'tstop singing

If I could say the wordMeher, that one word alone,the way earthworms sing

Dancing with You alone in the Lagoon Cabinraindrops drumming the roof

Flat on the boathouse deckdevouring the noon sun of Youin the reeds a blue heron

Beneath the footbridgewhere You once pausedthe white water lily blossom

Exhausted, I arriveat the gate of Your homeI fall asleep there for ten lifetimes

A lifetime of mistakeswashed cleanby the fragrance of wisteria

To die before you dielisten to what themagnolia bloom whispers

If I could only surrenderthe way that alligatorstares at nothing all day

Before Your Center came into beingwhat native people lived here?who was I before I knew You?

On Baba's birthdaymy friend's father dies of cancerhe was weary and beaming

Walking this pathOriginal Kitchen to Your housemy shadow follows cautiously

Wandering Your gardenlooking over Long Lakeso much sadness in the world

By the footbridgethe pine tree You leaned onhow gentle it feels

Shoes on the stepsof the lagoon cabinwelcome home

As I journey throughthis world of illusionYour turquoise Edsel turns to rust

Journeying the white marble veiling Your beautiful facean ant and I fall through a window

In Your Samadhithe still point of the turning wheelroses crumble into Nothingness

Bowing to the stonethat sunk You back downa sudden chorus of birds by the well

Halfway up the hillhurrying to evening artia crow teaches me to pray

Inside Your jhopdiwhere the Silence beganthe Silence began. the Silence. the.

As the whole world sleepsfaces kiss the pillowon Your Meherazad bed

Silence Daythe sound It makes insidehelped build the pyramids

Another Amartithi comes and goesanother bicycle bellalerts me to You

Fresh snowflakeson Your birthdaypure white mind — the open gift

Your glowing facethe eternal dhuni flamealways consuming

Behind Your tomba lamppostupon entering Narnia, what the children saw

Yesterday's garlands rotby the night watchman's postcompost for the soul

Your presence alights in the hearta butterfly on a rose petalone quiver and it flees

Even in the Samadhihow I long for the Samadhiwhen I hear the distant cowbell

In Your bedrooma fragrance not from flowerssends me in search of that garden

On its endless journeyfrom You to Youa caterpillar travels a leaf

Happy newlywedson the path to Your housedo I tell them they do not exist?

Leave the church, the synagogue,come out to inhale His infinite beautyin this single camellia bloom

In my right earthe sound of Ocean singingin my left Highway 17 humming

Remembering You by the deep woods trailthe white dogwood sheds one petal

On Silence Daya long conversationwith a bemused green lizard

Today dolphins just beyond the breakersYour Name weaving everywhere

Spanish moss —I steal some from a treeand You ask me why

Pelicans in the wakeof a shrimp boata crowd in Your bedroom this morning

The white swanreturned to Long Lake todaywe were afraid it had died

The sand in Your gardenraked clean of footprintsno trace of self for a moment

Your birthday giftsa clean blue skya light frost at night

Walking the beachlistening to those wavesand the inner swells of You

Sunset, the sea on soft firethe beach where You still sitall those years ago

Your Silence shattersa drop of dewslides down the water lily

Geese in a perfect Vthe heart just knowsto sing Your Name

All those dogwood blossomscheerfully twirlinginto Your open lap

Such deep surrender:the silver perch leapingtoward Your waiting hand

Frog concert tonighta two note symphonylisten to the inner lake

Baba at Window

Perfect obedience:the butterfly snaggedby a spider web, napping

Summer moon swimminginside the midnight lakeshimmering in my heart, Your face

Over the boat housea full moon wandersYour face transits deep within

Inside the porch roofof Your Samadhiblack squirrels nesting

We lower the tomb clothwith a prayera lizard looks on

Sponging the thresholdof Your Samadhibillions more feet yet to cross

Ages ago You stopped here this ancient pondseven turtles dozing on a log

Listening for Your voiceinside and outin the quietude of the redbud tree

O Ancient Onelight from Your facetrickles through the midnight pines

Why do You allowall this pain?why these turtle tracks into the sea?

In the lagoon cabinsleep descendsa dream of napping in Your arms

A cold spring dayamid cherry blossomsall of Your mercy, all of Your peace

Irises on either sideof Your empty chairoutside, roses demand their turn

At dusk a black vinedangles over Long Lakemonkeys grasping for the moon

Your lovers have strong heartsyet they're sickhappy in pain, tortured in happiness

You become even more beautifulin the wavesof the caterpillar's walking

Sun coming uptrees, lake, sky catch firemystical glow in the heart

Coolness of marbleon the foreheadthe foot of Your Samadhi

O Ancient OneYou are even this broken twigso what excuse is there for myself?

Morning tea enjoyedon the boathouse deckin the company of dragonflies

Down the beach roadseeking a hint from Youa Sparrow for all sparrows

A Particle of dustfor all particles of duston her eyelash

An Ant for allants wanderingacross my blue jeans

Ancient pottery shardseasily unearthednear the Original Kitchen

Waning moonover Your SamadhiArangaon celebrates

Sticks tossedin the dhuni firehobbled bull coaxed home

Black gondolaglides across Long Lakealligator eyes watching

Huddled aroundYour empty bedsleepers awakening

Once againin Mandali Hallthe gong chimes

A crowd gatherson Meherazad porchso close, so far away

Christmas dayon the CenterYou left pine cones everywhere

Your infinite sufferingin this ant dragginga struggling beetle home

Silence Daymows throughthe garbage mind

Your great mysteryin every leafevery friend

This black antwalking the path to Allahthe Most High

Leaving the lagoon cabinmy heart fillswith gratitude

Leaving the lagoon cabinmy soul absorbslight upon light

There is no godbut Godin this lilac blossom

The door to the heartswings openas I enter Your bedroom

Coming down the hillfrom morning artiyellow orange green saris

The majestic stillnessof this solitary water lilyYour Silence in full bloom

Early autumn sunset — ducks on Long Lake,the heart's winged migration

A gift of zen rakingYour sandy gardena matrix of tranquility

A pine cone fallson the lagoon cabin roofYour Silence deepens

The seathe beautiful seaI hear It all night long

On Your birthdayice-laced treeswithin, the melting candle

At the Beloved's thresholda terrible oceanso many tears of separation

Crescent moonhigh over Your tombbismi 'llah ir-rahman ir-rahim

FINIS