1.Jennine E. Estes, MFT #47653 San Diego Marriage and Family TherapistRebuilding Trust10 Quick Tips to Rebuild Trust http://www.EstesTherapy.com http://www.estestherapy.com/relationshiptips Providing Counseling services for San Diego: Individual counseling, marriage counseling, premarital therapy, and LGBT/Gay counseling

2. 1. Be Honest, no matter what! Time is of the essence. Every step you make countswhen rebuilding trust. Be honest and truthful ineverything you do. If you want your partner to trust, youcant slack off. Be TRUTHFUL! Share all! If your partner just found out about yourhidden behavior, the worst has been found out. Nowyou have to be honest about all of it. 3. 2. Follow Through Follow through with what you say. If you tell your partner that you will be home by 8:00, come home no later than 8:00pm. If you are going to be late, call them and let them know ahead of time. 4. 3. Dont Be Unrealistic Dont be unrealistic. Avoid saying that you will Alwayshave your cell phone on or you will Never turn yourphone off. This is unrealistic. Sometimes your phone willdie or you might forget it or you might not hear it ring.Instead, tell your partner that you will try your best toanswer the phone. And then.follow through with whatyou say (tip #2). 5. 4. Open Up Let your Partner in. If you have a wall up, it hides things andcreates a suspicious feeling from your partner. Avoid thesuspicious behavior and be an open book. The more open youare, the more trust you can build. 6. 5. No Wandering Eyes Keep your eyes on your goal. Body language speaks louderthan words.and so does your eye focus. If you are talking toyour partner and a beautiful woman walks by, keep your eyeson your partner. If your goal is to build trust, then your actionshave to show it. If you want your partner to be self-conscious, then keep looking at other women. It is yourchoice. 7. 6. Communicate! Make time for Communication. Communication can create asafe and comfortable feeling in your relationship. The morecommunication and feelings of safety, the more the trust canbuild. 8. 7. Comfort Your Partner Rebuilding trust isnt simply about showing behaviorally thatyou are safe and honest, but it is about the process of healingas a couple. Show your partner that you care for how they feel. Dont avoid your partners pain. Lean into the pain andcomfort your partner. Once again, time is of the essence. 9. 8. Apologize in All Ways Your partner is hurt. So rebuilding trust also requires you tosay sorry in every way possible. Your words have lost valuesince the trust was lost. So now you must show behaviorallythat you are sorry. If you feel hurt, show the hurt and remorse. 10. 9. Become Prince Charming! Grab your white horse and jump on it. You must be the princecharming and say sorry in every way possible. Okay, you did wrong. But doing just a little isnt going to beenough. You need to be prince charmingand you need to bean consistent one! Dont stop showing her the man she fell inlove with. 11. 10. Dont Stop Many people will do what they can to win their partnerback, but they end up dropping the ball a few months downthe road. Dont stop the communication, dont stop openingup, and dont stop showing her that you love her! Your partner may not trust that you have turned a corner, norshould they have to trust it. You have to show them that nomatter what, you will be strong and consistent. No matterwhat, you will always have their back no matter how difficultthings get! 12. For More Information San Diego Couples Counseling to Rebuild Trust:http://www.estestherapy.com Relationship Advice and Tips: Relationships in theRawhttp://www.RelationshipsInTheRaw.com Jennine Estes, MFT Marriage and Family Therapist in San Diego MFC#47653 www.EstesTherapy.com jestes@estestherapy.com