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What are we really “saying”? Non-verbal communication in advising

Mississippi Advisors MeetingDr. Allison Pearson

Professor of Management

Mississippi State University

Tuesday, Oct. 7, 2008

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Advising Students

Advisor StudentMessageMessageTake Action

Make Decision

What is the appropriate atmosphere for advising interactions?

QuestionQuestion

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Advising Context

What is the appropriate atmosphere for student growth & development? What is the tone we want to set? I’m here to help you. I care about you/your problem. I’m listening. I want you to succeed.

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Face-to-Face Advising

Highest in information richness Words are important Documents are important

Curriculum Sheets Transcripts Policies

What about what we don’t “say”? Non-words? Actions?

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An estimated 65-90% of the meaning in a message is conveyed through nonverbal communication.

Nelson & Quick, 2006

1. Advisor Question: Am I sending a clear & intended message to the students I advise?

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Non-verbal communication includes all non-word

communication.

2. Advisor Question: Do my word & non-word messages to students match?

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Non-Verbal Communication

Facial & Eye Behavior Use of Space Body Movements & Posture Variations in speech

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Non-verbal Communication?

Test of the old adage:

Actions Speak Louder Than WordsActions Speak Louder Than Words

3. Advisor Question: What message do my actions, i.e., non-verbal communications, send to my students?

4. Advisor Question: How will these non-verbal messages influence student behavior & decisions?

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What is he “saying”?

Would his non-verbal communication influence how you interact with him?

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What is she “saying”?

Would her non-verbal communication influence how you interact with her?

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Facial & Eye Behavior

Face & Eyes add cues/emphasis for receiver of message.

Face often gives unintended clues of “real feelings” of the sender. Eye Contact (US): honesty, truthfulness,

forthrightness, paying attention.

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Facial & Eye Behavior

Other common Facial/Eye Behaviors – what message do they convey? Smiling: __________ Frowning: ___________ Scowl:__________ Rolling Eyes: _________ Pursed Lips: __________

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What do the eyes say?

What do the facial expressions say?

5. Advisor Question: What message do my eyes and facial expression send to my students?

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Stink Eye, Snake Eye, or Skunk Eye!

What is the message?

Identify this eye behavior

a. Stink eye?

b. Skunk eye?

c. Snake eye?

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Use of Space

“Don’t invade my space!” Intimate Distance: 1-1.5 feet Personal Distance: 1.5-4 feet Social Distance: 4-12 feet Public Distance: >12 feet

6. Advisor Question: At what distance do advising encounters often take place? What does that distance communicate?

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Use of Space in Advising

Pull people in closer: may open up more because you have invited them into your personal space.

Move people further apart: may clam up because space seems more formal.

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What does the use of space communicate in these images?

7. Advisor Question: What use of space is appropriate to effectively communicate with students?

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Body Movements & Posture

Common Body Movements: What message do they convey? Rubbing hands together with sharp intake

of breath: _____________ Tight fists, hand wringing: ____________ Rubbing temples: ___________ Drumming fingers or pacing: _________ Slumped over, head down: __________

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What message do these gestures convey?

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8. Advisor Question: What do you want your body movements and gestures to say to your students?

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Paralanguage

Variation in speech, such as pitch, loudness, tempo, tone, duration. What do these convey: Rapid, loud words: __________ Cluck of tongue: ___________ Sharp, shrill, rapid words: ___________

9. Advisor Question: What message do we want our paralanguage to communicate to our students?

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Say What? Do what?Advisor “says” Student “hears” Student reaction

1. Little eye contact with student. Advisor may be on phone; on computer

2. Advisor fails to acknowledge greeting or question

3. Rolls eyes

4. Smiles; makes eye contact; listens even though phone is ringing.

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Why does non-verbal communication matter in advising?

1) Am I sending a clear & intended message to the students I advise?

2) Do my word & non-word messages to students match? 3) What message do my actions, i.e., non-verbal

communications, send to my students?4) How will these non-verbal messages influence student

behavior & decisions?5) What message do my eyes and facial expression send to my

students?6) At what distance do advising encounters often take place?

What does that distance communicate?7) What use of space is appropriate to effectively communicate

with students? 8) What do you want your body movements and gestures to say

to your students?9) What message do we want our paralanguage to communicate

to our students?

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Non-verbal communication messages used to enhance Advising

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Advising Goal:

Communicate effectively through every possible means to support, encourage, educate, correct, and guide student behavior

How to achieve goal:

1. Take stock of your non-verbal habits

2. Evaluate if habits send the appropriate message.

3. If not, break the habit.

4. If so, use them for emphasis.