1 managing people transactional analysis c jalasayanan
TRANSCRIPT
1
Managing People
Transactional Analysis
C Jalasayanan
2
What is T.A.?
TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS IS ...
• PERSONALITY THEORY SIMPLIFIED
• MOTIVIATION THEORY SIMPLIFIED
• A LEADERSHIP STYLE
• A TRAINING TOOL
• AN EASY WAY OF UNDERSTANDING WHO SAYS WHAT, AND WHY PEOPLE ACT AND INTERACT THE WAY THEY DO
• AN AID IN DEALING WITH CONFLICT PROBLEMS
3
REASONS FOR POPULARITY OF T.A. IN MANAGEMENT
SIMPLE LANGUAGE
USEFUL AT WORK & AT HOME
DEMONSTRATED SUCCESS IN BUS. ORGANIZATIONS
NON-THREATENING SELF-ANALYSIS
APPROPRIATE FOR “NORMAL
PEOPLE”
BUILT-IN HUMOR
4
BASIC HUMAN EGO STATES(PERSONALITY STATES)
THREE BASIC
EGO STATES
FURTHER BREAKDOWN OF EGO STATES
P(PARENT)
A(ADULT)
C(CHILD)
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
LECTURING, CRITICIZING, MANY “OUGHTS”, “SHOULD” &”DON’TS”
CONSOLING, “TAKING CARE” OF OTHERS, SYMPATHY
OBJECTIVE, RATIONAL, ORIENTED TOWARD PROBLEM SOLVING, DE-EMPHASIZE EMOTION
MODIFIED BEHAVIOUR TO CONFORM TO ADULT EXPECTATIONS, MANUPULATIVE, SUMBISSIVE
PLAYFUL, IMPULSIVE, NATULRALLY CURIOUS &CREATIVE, FUN LOVING, REBELLIOUS
5
TYPICAL WAYS OF EXPRESSING EGO STATES ON THE JOB
CRITICAL PARENT
NURTURING PARENT
ADULT
“CAN’T YOU TURN IN A REPORT ON TIME JUST ONCE?”
“WHAT, IT TAKES TWO WEEKS TO ANSWER AN E-MAIL?”
“I’M SURPRISED AT YOU… THE QUALITY OF THIS DOCUMENT IS LOUSY”
“I’M ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU”
“LET ME CLEAN UP THAT DESK FOR YOU, MR. SMITH”
“YOU’VE DONE A SWELL JOB”
ADAPTED CHILD
NATURAL CHILD
“WHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVES?”
“CAN’T WE REACH SOME SORT OF COMPROMISE?”
“WHAT CONSEQUENCES WILL THIS ACTION HAVE?”
“ANYTHING YOU SAY, SIR!”
“SORRY, I’LL TRY TO IMPROVE.”
“WHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT YOU”
“NOBODY FOLLOWS THAT RULE ANYWAY.”
“FORGET ABOUT IT, HE’S JUST THE BOSS”
“LET’S KNOCK OFF FOR TODAY! WHO WANTS TO WORK ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON ANYWAY?”
6
TYPES OF INTERPERSONAL TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
COMPLEMENTARY CROSSED ULTERIOR
EXPECTED RESPONSE, NO CONFLICT
PRODUCE CONFLICT, STOP COMMUNICATION, HURT FEELINGS
VERBAL COMMUNICATION
NON-VERBAL HIDDEN MEANING
7
EXAMPLES OF COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) ACS: “CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING FROM DOWN STAIRS?”
(2) MANAGER: “YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF ME, ”
NURTURING PARENT TO ADAPTED CHILD
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER: “WHAT COULD WE DO TO MEET THE DEADLINE ON THIS PROJECT?”
(2) EMPLOYEE: “WE COULD TAKE A COUPLE OF PEOPLE OFF THE OTHER PROJECT FOR A WHILE AND PUT THEM ON THIS ONE.”
(1) FIRST PTL: “GEE, I WISH I WERE OUT ON THE GOLF COURSE RIGHT NOW.”
(2) SECOND PTL: “LET’S TAKE OFF. WHO WANTS TO LISTEN TO THE VP ANYWAY?’
ADULT TO ADULT TRANSACTION
NATURAL CHILD TO NATURAL CHILD
(1)
(2) (1)
(2)
8
EXAMPLES OF CROSSED TRANSACTIONS ON THE JOB
P P
A
CC
A
P P P
A
CC
A
(1) MANAGER: “ DID YOU FINISH THE BUDGET ESTIMATES?”
(2) ANALYST: “HOW CAN I IF THE WHOLE PROCESS DOESN’T MAKE SENSE.”
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSED BY
CRITICAL PARENT-TO-CHILD RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
(1) MANAGER: COME OVER HERE!” (DEMANDING TONE OF VOICE)
(2) EMPLOYEE: “WHY DON’T YOU COME OVER HERE? IT’S JUST AS FAR!”
(1) SUPERVISOR: “HOW COME GETTING A LAPTOP FOR TRAVEL IS ALWAYS HARD ”
(2) IT SPECIALIST: “HOW SHOULD I KNOW, I ONLY WORK HERE’
PARENT-TO-CHILD CROSSED BY CRITICAL PARENT OR REBELLIOUS
CHILD RESPONSE
ADULT-TO-ADULT CROSSES UP BY DISCOUNTED CHILD TO
PARENT RESPONSE
(1)
(2)
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
(1)
(2) (2)
(1)
9
EXAMPLES OF ULTERIOR TRANSACTIONS
P P
A
CC
A
P P
A
CC
A
(1) EMPLOYEE: “SORRY, I WON’T HAVE THE PROJECT DOCUMENT READY FOR TOMORROW’S DEADLINE.”
(2) MANAGER: “IT’S O.K. I’VE BEEN THINKING OF ASSIGNING THE JOB TO SOMEONE ELSE ANYWAY.”
(1)
(2)
(1) SALESMAN: “THIS CAR HAS GOT EVERYTHING YOU’D EVER WANT FROM A PERFROMANCE SPORTS CAR – BUT IT MAY BE TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOU.”
(2) CUSTOMER: “WELL LET’S GIVE IT A TEST DRIVE..” (HIDDEN MEANING: “WHO DOES HE THINK I AM?”)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
(2)
(1)
10
STROKINGTHE TYPES OF STROKES YOU SEEK DEPEND ON YOUR OKAYNESS
PRAISE
COMPLEMENTS
RECOGNITION
AFFECTION
REWARDS
SYMPATHY
CONSOLATION
SELF-SATISFACTION FROM JOB WELL
DONE
PUT-DOWNS
CRITICISM
DEGRADING
RIDICULE
SCOLDING
PUNISHMENT
DISCOUNTING
POSITIVE STROKES
NEGATIVESTROKES
CONDITIONAL STROKES
STROKES WITH ULTERIOR MOTIVES
STROKES GIVEN FOR WHAT YOU DO,
RATHER THAN FOR WHAT YOU ARE:
(1) PERFORMANCE ORIENTED STROKES
(2) ACCOMODATION & CONFORMITY ORIENTED STROKES
11
BASIC PSYCHOLOGICAL (LIFE) POSITIONS: YOUR SELF IMAGE
1. I’M OK; YOU’RE OK
• THE “WINNER”, HEALTH, OPTIMISTIC, USUALLY ADULT-TO-ADULT EGO STATE. IDEAL LIFE POSITION ON & OFF THE JOB.
3. I’M NOT OK; YOU’RE OK
• CHILD-TO-ADULT EGO STATE ACTIVATED. FEELINGS OF INFERIORITY; HERO WORSHIP; LOOKING FOR PARENT SUBSTITUTES. SEEKS DOMINANCE FROM OTHERS.
2. I’M OK; YOU’RE NOT OK
• USUALLY CRITICAL PARENT EGO STATE ACTIVATED. MAY EVOLVE FROM HURT OR DISCOUNTED CHILD GIVING HIMSELF STROKES. FEELS DISTRUST, ANGER, SUPERIORITY.
4. I’M NOT OK; YOU’RE NOT OK
• LACKS TRUST IN SELF & OTHERS. FEELINGS OF HOPELESSNESS OFTEN EXTREME DEPRESSION.
5. I’M OK, I’M NOT SURE ABOUT YOU
12
CONFLICT AT WORK: I
POOR ME
• EMPLOYEE LOOKING FOR NURTURING PARENT TO SOOTH HIS/HER I’M NOT OK FEELING LOVES TO PLAY VICTIM. SELF-PITY, MARTYR COMPLEX FREQUENT SYMPTOMS
“WHY IS EVERYBODY
ALWAYS PICKING ON ME?”
“SORRY, I COULDN’T FINISH THAT DAMN JOB OF YOURS… TOO MANY
INTERUPTIONS”
(ULTERIOR MESSAGE: “PLEASE KICK ME!”)
KICK ME
“I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN…”
(ULTERIOR MESSAGE: “HERE’S THE KICK YOU ASKED FOR…
GLAD TO COMPLY!”)
LOOKS FOR PUT-DOWN FROM CRITICAL PARENT WILLING TO PLAY PERSECUTOR. SUBCONSCIOUSLY REINFORCES HIS/HER I’M NOT OK CHILD FEELING. NEGATIVE STROKE BETTER THAN NONE. PARTNER’S SCRIPT: I’M OK; YOU’RE NOT OK.
13
CONFLICT AT WORK: II
WOODEN LEG
IF IT WEREN’T FOR MY BACK TROUBLE, I COULD
WORK A LOT FASTER.
“WHY DON’T YOU CALL THE SERVICE MANAGER FOR AN ESTIMATE?”
YES, BUT…
“YES, BUT HE IS AWFULLY BUSY, YOU KNOW.
A FREQUENT GAME BETWEEN STAFF AND LINE PERSONNEL. THE “HOOKER” MAY ACTUALLY ASK THE OTHER PERSON FOR HELP WITH A PROBLEM, THEN SYSTEMATICALLY FIND FAULT WITH ONE SUGGESTION AFTER ANOTHER.
USES REAL OR IMAGINED HANDICAP AS CONSTANT EXCUSE. NEGATIVE SELF-IMAGE: I’M NOT OK; SELF-PITY. CONTINUALLY LOOKING FOR CONSOLATION OR PITY FROM NURTURING PARENT.
14
CONFLICT AT WORK: III
AIN’T IT AWFUL
“THESE YOUNG GUYS STRAIGHT OUT OF
COLLEGE, THE WAY THEY….”
“…I’VE GOT TO DO EVERYTHING MYSELF AROUND HERE!”
HURRIED MANAGER
COMPULSIVE MANAGER WHO TAKES ON MORE AND MORE RESPONSIBILITY, OFTEN MORE THAN HE CAN HANDLE, THEN COMPLAINS ABOUT HOW BUSY HE IS. MAY STILL BE PLAYING OUT THE ADAPTED CHILD EGO STATE IN RESPONSE TO CRITICAL PARENT WITH HIGH EXPECTATIONS. SEEKS PARENT STROKES.
GOSSIP TYPE COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS BETWEEN TWO CRITICAL PARENT EGO STATES. MAY FOSTER TEAM SPIRIT, BU TIN A NONPRODUCTIVE, NON-OBJECTIVE DIRECTION. POPULAR WITH COMMITTEES.
“YEAH, AIN’T IT AWFUL? WHEN I
WAS THAT AGE….”
15
CONFLICT AT WORK: IV
STUPID
“HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO STUPID, THROWING THAT PHONE MESSAGE AWAY!”
“NOW, I’VE GOT YOU, YOU S.O.B”
NIGYSOB
EXAMPLE:
MANAGER: “I HEAR THEY ARE LOOKING FOR A TECHNICAL WRITER IN HEADQUARTERS”.
SUBORDINATE: “HOW ABOUT YOUR RECOMMENDING ME FOR THAT POSITION?”
MANAGER: “YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF A TECHNICAL WRITER?”
(NIGYSOB PLAYERS CAN REPEAT THIS GAME DAY AFTER DAY IF THEY CAN FIND A KICK-ME PARTNER).
MAKES DUMB MISTAKES, OFTEN GETS NEGATIVE STROKES FROM CRITICAL PARENT (KICK-ME), OR INVITING OTHER PLAYER TO FALL INTO POOR-ME GAME. A SET-UP TO MOVE INTO OTHER GAMES. OVER-ADAPTED CHILD. NEGATING SELF.
CLASSIC EXAMPLE OF PERSECUTOR SETTING UP HIS VICTIM. LOVES TO ACTIVATE HIS CRITICAL PARENT EGO STATE. OFTEN SETS IMPOSSIBLE TASKS FOR SUBORDINATES, GIVES INCOMPLETE INSTRUCTIONS, THEN GETS READY TO GIVE A KICK.
16
CONFLICT AT WORK: V
UPROAR
“CAN’T YOU DO ANYTHING
RIGHT?”
IF IT WEREN’T FOR YOU
“IF IT WEREN’T FOR SOMEONE OR SOMETHING” IS A FAVORITE COP-OUT, BLAME OTHERS OR SUPPOSEDLY UNAVOIDABLE CIRCUMSTANCES FOR LACK OF ACHIEVEMENTS, MANIPULATING CHILD EGO STATE ACTIVATED.
BOTH PLAYERS TRADE INSULTS OR ABUSES, ENGAGE IN ATTACK AND COUNTER-ATTACK. OFTEN DETERIORATES INTO SHOUTING MATCH. TWO I’M OK; YOU ARE NOT OK POSITIONS CLASHING. YES, BUT.. MAY BE ONE METHOD OF COUNTER-ATTACK.
“IF IT WEREN’T FOR THAT BOSS OF MINE, I COULD HAVE BEEN A SUPERVISOR BY NOW.”“LOOK WHO
TRAINED ME FOR THIS JOB!”
17
CONFLICT AT WORK: VI
LET’S YOU AND HIM FIGHT
“I WOULD’T WANT YOU TO TELL
ANYBODY WHO CLUED YOU IN, BUT DO YOU
KNOW WHAT MR. XXX SAID ABOUT YOUR
WORK…?”
RAPO
SAYING THINGS “IN CONFIDENCE” IS OFTEN AN ULTERIOR TRANSACTION. PLAYER HAS A HIDDEN AGENDA, ACTIVATES HIS MANIPULATIVE CHILD EGO STATE.
“KHALED IS ALEX IN YET?”
“NO, PAUL ALEX NEVER GETS IN THIS EARLY!”
USED TO DEVELOP TRANSFORM THE “I”M OK, I’M NOT SURE ABOUT YOU” MODE INTO “I’M OK, HE IS NOT OK”
“THAT NO-GOOD
SO-&-SO!”
18
That’s His Job Amnesia
CONFLICT AT WORK: VII CONFLICT AT WORK: VII
“I’M ALWAYS DOING HIS
JOB”
SOMEONE CONSTANTLY FORGETING A REQUEST OR DOING SOMETHING OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU ASK. COULD DETERIORATE INTO “I’M OK; YOU ARE NOT OK” IF YOUR NOT CAREFUL.
BOTH PLAYERS TRADE INSULTS OR ABUSES, ENGAGE IN ATTACK AND COUNTER-ATTACK. OFTEN DETERIORATES INTO SHOUTING MATCH. TWO I’M OK; YOU ARE NOT OK POSITIONS CLASHING.
“OH, I’M SORRY I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT WHAT YOU ASKED ME TO DO.”“MY JOB, YOUR
NOT EVEN DOING YOURS”
19
CONFLICT AT WORK: VIIICONFLICT AT WORK: VIII
YES SIR ……..YES SIR ……..
“I THINK WE SHOULD APPROACH THE
PROBLEM THIS WAY ….”
“I NEVER SAID YOU COULD JUST WALK INTO MY OFFICE WITHOUT SCHEDULING
AN APPOINTMENT”
DO YOU KNOW WHO YOUR TALKING TO?
MANAGER WHO ALL OF A SUDDEN WANTS TO BE FORMAL. MAY BE PLAYING CRITICAL PARENT
COMPLEMENTARY TRANSACTIONS BETWEEN PARENT AND CHILD EGO STATES. POPULAR GAME IN COMMITTEES.
“YES, WHAT A GREAT IDEA.
BUT, ISN’T THAT JUST WHAT I JUST
SAID?”
20
Transactional Analysis
• The 80/20 rule: 80 percent of your success is in managing people and 20 percent relates to doing your job well.
• If this is true, what is the level of “okayness” with your subordinates, peers, supervisors and most important clients?
• It is important to take the following self test to determine where you stand.
21
Transactional Analysis
• Answer the following questions:
• Of the people working with you the most, picking a round number of 10, how would you categorize your level of “okayness” with them?
• In my current job this is how I see things:
22
Transactional Analysis
• How I see them
• Boss: I am OK he is OK
• Peers: I am OK they are OK
• Subordinates: 6 of them, I am OK they are not OK
• Note. Not I am not OK your not OK
• How they see me
• Boss: I am not OK, he is OK
• Peers: He is OK were OK
• Subordinates: 4 of them, I am not OK they are OK
23
Transactional Analysis
• Back to the 80/20 rule: This rule also says that your job environment is functional when 80 percent of your relationships at work are based on the I am OK your OK principle
• If the opposite is the case than your job is dysfunctional
• Most of us are somewhere in between.• You can still have a lot of “not OK” situations at
work and still be effective – it just won’t be fun.
24
Transactional Analysis
• Keep in mind that the 80/20 rule can still be in your favor but you could still have major problems.
• Why? Because having an I am not OK your not OK relationship with your driver is irrelevant – having this relationship with your boss is relevant
• Keep this in mind for your home situation as well
25
Transactional Analysis
• To understand why some of your relationships work and others don’t you need to assess your own behavior and that of others.
• Which mode are you in the most, parent, adult, child?
• Which mode are your subordinates and peers in?
• Which mode is your boss in?
26
Transactional Analysis: Understanding others through Simple Classification
• How I see them:• Boss: Critical parent• Peers: Nurturing
parents• Subordinates: Most
natural children, some adapted children, few adults
• How they see themselves:
• Boss: Nurturing parent
• Peers: Adults
• Subordinates: Mostly consider themselves adults except some admit to being natural children
27
Transactional Analysis
• Your people management skills are your key to success
• For example, I try to keep my adult mode active for as long as possible during the day
• I seldom achieve this and but I know when I have ventured away from adult mode
• In most instances you succeed because of you, or you fail because of you
• In most instances you reap what you sow.
28
Transactional Analysis:
• Understanding your relationships with others relates to gold stamps and gray stamps
• Whether we like it or not we accrue gold stamps for situations we handle well and gray stamps for situations we handle badly
• This is what defines our “okayness” with other people
• For some one gray stamp is enough to put you in the category of “I am OK your not OK”
• For others a ton of gold stamps may not do much at all
29
Transactional Analysis: Role Playing
• Boss: I have a few comments on your performance -- I think you say “yes” to often to me, I think you try to be non confrontational with others in the work place. You know what, I don’t think these are good qualities of a senior manager.
• Translation: You are not OK – how would you respond?
• Is the boss being a critical parent?
• How do you avoid conflict? What mode should you adapt?
30
Transactional Analysis: role playing
• Boss: you have been doing a wonderful job for me. Really great. This is why I have decided to transfer you to another department. With more experience you can become even more valuable to all of us
• My my …… what is this?
• Is this a critical parent or someone who really sees potential in you.
• What should you look for, what are the signs?
31
Transactional Analysis: role playing
• Boss: The report you gave me had some strong points but it needs polishing. Let’s give it to Ms. X to finish it for you. Good job.
• Interesting – critical parent again? What should be your mode of response?
• Do you fight this or do you go along wit the boss
• A serious gray stamp is waiting to happen here.
32
Transactional Analysis: role playing
• Peer: You really have to watch out, Mr. X really has it in for you. You should hear what I hear about what he says about you. Just don’t tell him you heard it from me.
• Is your peer being a nurturing parent?
• How do you avoid conflict? What role should you adapt and what should you do?
33
Transactional Analysis: role playing
• Peer: Honestly, I don’t think you were being very professional when you promised the client a deliverable for next week. You should have consulted me first. I will speak to the boss about this because you are always doing it.
• Is your peer being a critical parent?
• Is he OK and are you OK?
• What mode should you be in and how should you handle this?
34
Transactional Analysis: role playing
• Peer: I really want this promotion and I am looking to you for help. You know him so put in a good word, I deserve this, right?
• What is your peer looking for, clearly a nurturing parent response.
• How do you avoid conflict if you really don’t want to be involved.
• How do you maintain an I am OK your OK position? How do you avoid a gray stamp
35
Transactional Analysis: role playing
• Subordinate: She really irritates me. It is not her work necessarily, it’s just the way she does things. She is all over the place, always late, not taking anything seriously especially me.
• A I am OK she is not OK presentation of fact.
• How do you handle this?
• How do you avoid conflict with both of them?
• How can you correct for this?
36
Transactional Analysis: role playing
• Secretary: here is the bill for mailing the material you wanted. I assumed this was personal so I made sure the mail room charged you. You didn’t want me to break a rule did you?
• Is this an I am OK your not OK situation?
• How would you respond to this?
• Should you respond to this or just take note
37
Transactional Analysis: role playing
• Employee: I am really having problems with Ms. X. I don’t mean to come to you with one personnel problem after the other.
• Boss: You can come to me all the time I guess … Ulterior message: Here we go again, is he a bad middle manager or what? Boss is becoming critical parent but you may not know it. Gray stamp collecting.
38
Transactional Analysis: role playing
• Employee: I thank you for bringing me back to headquarters. I just want you to know that I lost much when you transferred me but I will do my best
• Boss: Welcome back … Ulterior message: Here we go again, the if it weren’t for you game? What no one wants to work outside Cairo. Boss is becoming critical parent but you may not know it. Gray stamp collecting.
39
Transactional Analysis: role playing
• Employee: This job really is not my life you know. I put my family first too. I spend to much time in the office as it is and so do you. Do we really owe this place that much?
• Boss: An interesting observation… Ulterior message: Here we go again, the lazy SOB. Boss is becoming critical parent but you may not know it. Gray stamp collecting.
40
Transactional Analysis: role playing
• Employee: I like your cost cutting ideas, but it is not our money now is it. The ideas on saving money will cause too much disruption and it’s not as if were saving our own money.
• Boss: An interesting observation… Ulterior message: Doesn’t really much care for the company does he? Boss is becoming critical parent but you may not know it. Gray stamp collecting.
41
HOW TO STOP THE GAME PLAY
• REALIZE THAT IT TAKES TWO TO PLAY A GAME
• DO NOT GIVE EXPECTED RESPONSE
• RESIST TEMPTATION TO PLAY RESCUER, VICTIM, PERSECTOR
• TURN ON YOUR ADULT EGO STATE IN CRITICAL SITUATIONS
• BUT RELIAZE THAT SOMETIMES IT’S OK TO PLAY “NURTURING PARENT” UNTIL OTHER PERSON IS READY TO STAND ON HIS OWN FEET
• SEPARATE THE PERSON FROM THE ACT; DO NOT CRITICIZE HIS PERSONALITY
• DON’T EVER TELL HIM/HER THAT HE/SHE IS PLAYING A GAME
• IF YOU ARE ATTACKED, REALIZE THAT THERE IS NO NEED TO DEFEND YOURSELF IF YOU ARE NOT THE CAUSE OF HIS/HER PROBLEM BUT MERELY AN OPPORTUNITY TO FIND RELIEF FROM PRESSURE
• PRACTICE ACTIVE LISTENING (BUT LISTEN ALSO TO THE WHEELS THAT DON’T SQUEAK)
42
BASIC GUIDES WHICH CAN HELP YOU IN WORKING WITH PEOPLE
• Cooperation cannot be forced
• You communicate more through action than words
• Sentiment and emotion count.
• Everyone likes to feel important
• Everyone wants to know the significance of his job
• Don’t forget to show appreciation for a job well done.
• Learn to listen to people
• Be sincerely interested in your employees and their welfare.
43
REVIEW OF BUZZ WORDS(BUT THEY CAN ALSO BE TOOLS FOR BETTER UNDERSTANDING)
PARENTADULT EGO STATESCHILD
CRITICAL PARENTNURTURING PARENTNATURAL CHILDADAPTED CHILD
TRANSACTIONS:•COMPLEMENTARY•CROSSED•ULTERIOR
GAMES:•NIGYSOB•AIN’T IT AWFUL•KICK ME•RAPO•UPROAR•STUPID•(WHAT OTHERS: CAN YOU NAME?)
STROKES:•POSITIVE•NEGATIVE•CONDITIONAL
BASIC LIFE POSITION
COLLECTING STAMPS:•GOLD STAMPS•GRAY STAMPS
PAYOFF:•CONSCIOUS
•UNCONSCIOUS
ROLES:•VICTIM
•RESCUER•PERSECUTOR
PARENT TAPECHILD TAPE
44
PITFALLS OF T.A. IN MANAGEMENT
• THE “SOPHOMORE SYNDROME” (BUGGING COLLEAGUES BY POINTING OUT WHEN THEIR PARENT OR CHILD IS HOOKED, FOR EXAMPLE)
• ENCHANTMENT WITH THE LANGUAGE OF T.A., RATHER THAN VIEWING IT AS A TOOL FOR GROWTH & UNDERSTANDING
• USING T.A. MORE ON OTHERS THAN ON SELF
• DESIRE FOR CHANGING ONESELF MUST COME FROM THE INDIVIDUAL HIMSELF, NOT THE ORGANIZATION
• T.A. TRAINING MUST HAVE SPECIFIC OBJECTIVES
