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Interpersonal Relationships:Building and Redefining Relations

after Brain Injury

Kristine Cichowski, MS, Director

Judson Paschen, Brain Injury Peer Mentor

Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago - LIFE Center

Community Life Skills TrainingMidwest Regional Traumatic Brain Injury Model System at the Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago - 2010

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Brain Injury: Impact on Relationships

Changes in – Thinking– Personality – Behavior– Emotion

Grief and acceptance– Family– Friends– Children– Spouse

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Types of Relationships

Acquaintances– Know each other and

interests

Casual Friends– See each other

occasionally at events

Close Friends– Share the same interests

and special experiences

Intimate Friends– Provide emotional support

and encouragement

– May or may not involve physical contact

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Basic Elements of Friendship

– Common interests or skills– Shared values– Inviting personality– Positive outlook

Know yourself outside of your brain injury

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Make a Good Impression

Take pride in yourself Take care of your health

– Exercise– Good nutrition– Rest

Pay attention to your physical appearance– Neatly groomed

• Hair, teeth, nails• Clean body

– Clothing and personal style Project a positive attitude

– Confidence• Smile, positive body language• Dress for success, be

approachable

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How do we get to know each other?

Share your interests– Let people know what you

care about

Show that you care about others– Be helpful

Make a habit of active listening– Show genuine interest in

getting to know someone

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Develop Social Skills

Pay attention to your mannerisms– Polite, good manners– Connect by smiling,

maintaining eye contact and listening

– Conversation skills• Use icebreakers – where

are you from, I see you’re interested in…

– Refrain from interrupting– Show a sense of humor

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Nurture Relationships

Social Interactions– As a friend or couple

• Be considerate of each others feelings

• Support conversations– Be patience with word

finding and emotional swings

• Recognize and respect hyper / hypo sensitivity

– Altered sensations

– With groups of people• Be a supportive coach in

conversations, sharing or reminiscing

Help each other grow

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Stress and Relationships

Starting Over Confront grief Embrace the person for

who they are now Set goals with realistic

expectations Celebrate progress

Keep Moving Forward

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Knowledge is Power!

LIFE Centerhttp://lifecenter.ric.org

ORwww.ric.org ~ “Quick Links”- LIFE Center

Phone: (312) 238-LIFE(5433)Fax: (312) 238-2860

eMail: lifecenter@ric.org

This program is supported in part by a grant from theNational Institute on Disability and Rehabilitation Research (NIDRR)

and is part of the Midwest Regional Traumatic Brain Injury Model System at the Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago.

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Tips for Family & Friends Speak slowly and clearly, but not

demeaning. Use meaningful examples

Focus conversations - one person, one topic, one task at a time

Minimize distractions – it can be hard work to interact with others

Be mindful of fatigue and how it affects thinking, behavior – brain and physical stamina

Be time sensitive and true to your word

Verify that information is understood Write down information for recall at

another time Use visuals to simplify / clarify Reinforce use of a to do list or

memory book Identify and communicate with the

“Coach”

Take time to get to know each other

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Tips for Family & Friends

Coaching Tips As you observe behavior, give

supportive feedback - be fair Establish a signal to help a person

“stop & think” – use the signal in a fair way

Rehearse answers to questions - Keep it simple and positive.

Reach out to others to help them stay connected with you and your loved one

Clarify misinformation and misunderstandings – nurture relationships

Embrace the person for who they are now – refrain from comparisons to the old self

Practice forgiveness

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References:

Gainer, PhD, Rolf B., Mason, Michael, Sex & the Single Synapse: Maintaining Sexual Intimacy following Brain Injury.(2004) Neurologic Rehabilitation Institute at Brookhaven Hospital. www.traumaticbraininjury.net

Diaz-Duraski, RN, Sylvia, Brain Injury: Sexuality, Brain Injury Program: Patient and Family Resource Guide. (2008). Chicago: Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago LIFE Center.

Karp, Gary, Disability and the Art of Kissing. (2006) Life on Wheels Press.

Nussbaum, Susan, Sex Resource Guide for People with Disablities. (2005) Access Living of Metropolitan Chicago.

Kroll, Ken, Levy Klein, Erica, Enabling Romance. (1996) Harmony Books, New York.

Wake, Joyce, Growing and Maturing our Friendships: Nine Lessons. (1998). Revival In the Home Ministries. www.watke.org