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The Warp Pipe Forums Newspaper

• Edited by Hasfarr• Issue #2, 1-2-2012

Karts and NotesComing off the release of Mario Kart 7 last month, forum members have been racing against each other very often in the past few weeks.

Members usually get together online every night and race each other for fun.

User Smashogun has started a tournament, which will be held today.

Here is the code to join The Warp Pipe’s Mario Kart community: 22-4111-4039-8465

THE WARP PIPE FORUMS1-2-2012 - Since 2009

Members of the forum have also used their 3DS handhelds to communicate and share some drawings with each other.

Swapnote for the Nintendo 3DS is an app where one can send drawings, referred to as “notes”, to a group of people, and vice-versa. To see a video of the various notes that have been sent recently, go to my YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/hasfarr

You haters slippin’, we bacon flippin’

How to survive The Warp PipeGreetings lost children! My name is Mustachio Joe. You may know me as gamefreak043, a proud, beloved and totally not egotistical member of the Warp Pipe Forums. Why am I going under a different name for this column, you ask? The reason being is that I have found new that few people trust individuals with such a *ahem* "ghey" name such as "gamefreak043". As such, I have changed my name to a more "trustworthy" alias. Why did I tell you all I'm gamefreak043 anyway? Because shut up.


Anyway, that's enough about me. This column is a paradise for all the sad little lost children who wish to have a decent stay. To be honest, this place and the previous incarnations of this place has a problem concerning any possible new members leaving us after their introduction threads due to being scared off by veteran members.

A column by GameFreak043

How to survive The Warp PipeThis weekly column is here to provide you with the information you need in order to survive The Warp Pipe Forums. We may look intimidating at first, but if you follow this column you will be able to fit right in and realize just how great of a community we are.

Now, let us begin.


How to Survive the Warp Pipe Forums Day 2: This "Rahpeed" fellow seems like a pretty kewl guy

Now that you know the majority of the terms that this forum and newspaper column will be using, it is time to do some reconnaissance on the various individuals you will meet in this forum. In internet speak, this translates into "Lurk moar".

To do this, we will be sorting the members into 3 general categories. These 3 categories are as follows.

Good Fella: These individuals are the good-hearted and nicer individuals in this god-forsaken cesspool of a forum. These are the people who you can always rely on and they will happily assist you in any way you can.

Bad Fella: These people aren't the good-hearted and nicer individuals in this forum. They may know how to have a good time and you may want to hang around them, but be cautious. These people are troubled, have questionable motives, and/or are jackasses. Always have your guard up around these people.

Borderline Fella: People who are not quite the saints of good fella nor the likes of bad fella.


How to survive The Warp Pipe



That said, we are all different judges of character, so your list may differ from everyone else's. I will walk you through a few members to set you on the right track.

And if you say something about "But Joe, that's judging a book by it's cover. Mommy told me that's BAAAAAAD", then you can go piss off.

gamefreak043: This fella is an oddball. He seems to be the kind of guy who rarely contributes to conversations at hand and his posts are often either irrelevant or off-topic. Of course, he was the person who convinced me to write this article for you sad little children, so he seemed like a good fella at first glance. However, he insisted that he was a bad fella, which I thought was crazy. He told me that he is the embodiment of our worst nightmares, just waiting to strike when we are at our most vulnerable. I thought he was just plain wacky. But after he knocked me to the ground, nailed my wrists to the ground, hacked both my legs off with a cup of ramen noodles, and forced me to watch Garbage Pail Kids, I decided he had a point.





BAD FELLA

Gameboii64: This individual delights getting various topics derailed due to his constant usage of the phrases "nou" and "nou@all" all while calling the other members of the forum homosexuals. It has gotten to the point where his and Zel's antics got so bad that he got the above terms and "fgt" censored from the forum for a time.

BAD FELLA

Zel: He was one of the individuals responsible for a number of derailed threads and the previously mentioned censoring due to his constant making out with bickering with Gameboii64. I would also like to point out that Chiara, A former alias of his, is a girl's name.

BAD FELLA

Mirage2777: An administrator for the forum, he seems like a pretty kewl guy. However, confirmed rumors persist that he has a gas chamber in his dorm room where he sticks jewish individuals to die a horrible death. Unconfirmed rumors also state that he enjoys *ahem* "fapping" to a certain character in the popular video game "The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword". Personally, I would keep my distance if I were you.





BAD FELLA

wolfenflautist0994: Let's just say there's a pretty good reason why she is a demoted moderator.

BAD FELLA

Blue-Wolf-330: The fact that he admitted to watching iCarly makes him a troubled member. In what category do troubled members go to?

BAD FELLA

These examples should set you in the right track to complete the rest of the list for yourself. Now, you may be thinking "But Joe, how come everyone you analyzed is a bad fella?". Well, the answer is really quite simple.

...Errrr- GOODNESS, just look at the time! That is all the time we have for today. Join us next week for Day 3 of How to Survive the Warp Pipe Forums, where I will give you a brief glimpse into our history so you know just what the hell your fellow comrades are talking about.


An Interview with TasoI asked forum member Taso (A.K.A. Person) about the RP and other things.

H: Who had the idea for the RP?

T: I'm pretty sure it was Emerald and I at first, we thought of the idea of an RP. ID helped us out later with the plot/factions/emblems.

H: Why did you make ID post the topic?

T: Because she's a girl, and that would obviously attract perverts like Bacon or something. We're like "Oh hey, this girl made the thread, it must be good!"

THE WARP PIPE FORUMS12-26-11 - Since 2009Hasfarr’s Interviews

H: And I assume ID is doing other things for the RP?

T: Well, she might be game master, but we (Taso, Emerald and ID) are not sure of that. She will be drawing everyone's character.

H: How will the RP work?

T: Basically like a normal RP. Everyone will have their own input and side-stories, characters can collide, etc. You can do whatever you want, even rebel against your own faction.

An Interview with TasoT: The game master won't do too much to destroy the RP aspects of it though, he/she won't control the RP in general. The only thing the game master will be doing is correcting god-modders and stuff.

H: Why do you call yourself “Person” on the forum?

T: Only Mirage knows the reason, I don't plan on making the reason public. In fact Mirage himself is the reason I am now called Person instead of anything else.


H: What is your favorite video game company and game?

T: Geez, that’s a hard question, maybe Bethesda or Nippon Ichi Software. Favorite game? Well I can't pick a certain one, however I will say that I enjoy RPGs.

H: If you could have any super-powers, what would it be?

T: Hmm, shapeshifting, or seeing into the future. It would be nice.

An Interview with TasoH: And finally, do you have any suggestions to make the forum more interesting?

T: I hope the RP becomes pretty popular, that would be interesting. I also wish people would post something that was actually worth reading in the forums, all we get nowadays is "nou fgts" and other 2 worded posts, it gets boring and there's nothing exciting about it.


I would like to thank Taso for participating in the interview. If you would like for me to interview you, just ask me on the forums or in the Xat chat. - Hasfarr

Nintendo Weekly – A ReviewLast month, Mario Kart 7 was released to rave reviews. Here’s my take on the game.

Let’s start with the graphics. The character models have been greatly improved from Mario Kart DS, Mario’s last handheld go-kart outing. The models even look better than they were in Mario Kart Wii, the last Mario Kart game. The tracks are neatly detailed, and look even better in 3D mode.


On to the music. Kenta Negata does a nice job of composing music for the game. He has helped retain the fast-paced feel that most Mario Kart music has had. Retro courses re-use the original music from their game.

Fun-fact: When you are in first place in this game and you have a good lead, an added drum track will play.

Too big to fail

Nintendo Weekly – A ReviewTo the courses. The courses range from normal (Toad Circuit, for example) to throwback (Piranha Plant Slide has some elements of Super Mario Bros.) to the absolutely absurd (Music Park). Courses based off other games appear as well. DK Jungle is a course based on Donkey Kong Country Returns and was designed by its developer, Retro Studios. Wuhu Island from Wii Sports Resort and Wii Fit also appears. There are 16 retro courses in addition to the 16 new ones.


Now for the Karts. A new feature has appeared that allows people to customize their karts with different wheels, bodies and gliders. This allows for experimenting with all the different options, allowing for more strategy.

The characters in this game include the regulars: Mario, Yoshi, Luigi, Bowser, Peach, etc. New characters include Metal Mario (Super Mario 64) and the Honeybee Queen (Super Mario Galaxy 1 & 2).

Too big to fail

Nintendo Weekly – A ReviewNow for the biggest aspect of this game - the gameplay.

The gameplay still maintains the tried and true Mario Kart formula while keeping it fresh. While most of the gameplay is the same, new features like air gliders have been added. If you launch off a blue speed panel, you will be able to glide through the air for a few seconds. This allows for a chance to get in front of other racers.


Another feature is the ability to drive underwater. Previously in the series, if you went underwater, you would be pulled out by Lakitu. While that is still possible, many courses have underwater portions where you drive underwater. This has been reflected in retro courses like Koopa Cape (Wii) and Daisy Cruiser (GCN).

These gameplay elements have been done great and show that Mario Kart is one of the best racing series out there.

Too big to fail

Nintendo Weekly – A ReviewHowever, that’s not to say that there aren’t any problems with the game. Some courses, like Wario Shipyard, come off as bland and boring to me. And the choice of retro courses is not perfect – irritating courses like Maple Treeway (Wii), which is hard to navigate through, have returned only to be more irritating to players.

And the biggest problem is something that Mario Kart has been synonymous with: rubberband AI.


Yes, at first, in the 50cc and 100cc cups, it seems relatively easy to get in 1st place. But once you get to the 150cc cups, it seems like hell just to get to 3rd. When you get to a top 4 position while racing, it seems like the other racers get all the items they want. For example, if you are in 1st place, it only takes a few seconds for you to get hit by a Red or Blue Shell.

Too big to fail

Nintendo Weekly – A ReviewLast, but not least, the Wi-Fi. The Wi-Fi is outstanding in this game. For the most part, there is no lag and you are able to smoothly race with others around the world.

You can also join communities of racers on Wi-Fi, competing to get the most points. The Warp Pipe community’s code can be seen on the front page of the paper.


When all is said and done, though, Mario Kart 7 is a fun and well-done game to play. This is a must-have for your 3DS system, and one of the best games out there.

I give this game a 9/10 for fun gameplay, cool courses and great Wi-Fi. It’s a great game to play with friends, and I recommend you buy this game immediately.

- Hasfarr

Too big to fail

The End

• I apologize for the lack of content from other users this week. Hopefully we will have more next week. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoyed this week’s issue. - Hasfarr

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