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REVISION: DOING IT AND TEACHING ITBrian Mossop

June 27, 2008

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Revision: a low-tech activity

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Revision is reading, not writing “People tend to turn to the computer

when they need flexible tools for a writing task and turn to paper when they need flexible support for a reading task. Very often, they use both together when doing combined reading and writing tasks.” Abigail Sellen & Richard Harper, The Myth of the Paperless Office

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Input to revision is changingNew kinds of error are being

generated

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Are translators being turned into revisers?

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Teaching revision

Workshops for professionals

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Teaching revision to studentsTo revise or not to revise - that is a

question students with no professional experience can’t answer

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Essential content of revision training Learning the proper mental attitude What am I supposed to be doing

as I revise?

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Main danger in revision workshops/coursesRevision seminars are always in

danger of turning into translation seminars

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TO ERR IS HUMAN

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Purpose of workshop

• Opportunity for you to reflect on how you currently go about revising your own work or the work of others

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Am I spotting the problems in translations? • You can’t correct a problem until

you’ve noticed it!

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Am I fixing the most serious problems? There’s no point fixing minor

problems and missing major ones. Did you notice that a whole

paragraph has been left out? That the word ‘not’ has been left out?

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Should I change this wording or leave it? Each change takes time (and

therefore costs money). So how do I decide whether to

make a change? Are there some principles I can

use?

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Topics

1 How do I revise my own work? 2 What is quality? 3 The revision parameters 4 Degrees of revision effort 5 Checking procedure 6 Correcting 7 Correcting on screen or on paper? 8 Conflicts of loyalty

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Revision terminology

There is no standard terminology (terms with agreed meanings).

In English, the following verbs are used, each one having a variety of meanings: revise, review, check, re-read, proofread, edit, quality control

My definition of revision: The process of checking a translation and possibly making corrections or improvements

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Topic 1: How do I revise my own work? Do I have a definite procedure for

revising my own translation work?

Exercise 1

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Is there a best approach to self-revision? Is there an ideal distribution of

effort between the drafting and post-drafting phases?

Ref: Englund Dimitrova (Handout p.5)

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Topic 2: What is quality? “the totality of characteristics of an entity that bear on

its ability to satisfy stated and implied needs” (ISO 8402)

“the degree to which the characteristics of a translation fulfill the requirements of the agreed-upon specifications” (ASTM F2575)

“…The translator shall check…that the defined service specifications have been met”

“…The reviser shall examine the translation for its suitability for purpose…” (EN 15038)

Ref: Handout pages 5 &10

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Quality - Suitability for purpose Is the translation suited to its future readers? Expert or non-expert readers?

“large vehicle fleet operator requirement”: no problem for expert readers

for non-expert: “need for people to operate a fleet of large vehicles”

Large anonymous readership or handful of known readers? Readers are native speakers of target language or not?

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Quality - Suitability for purpose Is the translation suited to the way the translation

will be read? Translation will or will not be read straight through(e.g. a manual)? Translation will be read on a sign, Web page, standing in lab, sitting at

desk? Translation will be read aloud (e.g. a speech)

Public Service WORKPLACE WELLNESS WEEKSemaine du bien-être en milieu de travail DE LA FONCTION PUBLIQUE

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Quality - Suitability for purpose Is the translation suited to the use that will be made of

it, that is, its importance? Will it be read in order to make a decision, or will it just be read for

information and discarded? For how long will it be read? Are there prestige/image concerns?

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Quality - Suitability for purpose Is the translation suited to the client? Is client fussy? Is the client a Very Important Person? Do you want to keep this client?

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Quality - Levels of quality Levels of quality you can have in

mind, given the readers and the use to be made of the translation:

1. Intelligible translation (roughly accurate,

minimal readability) 2. Fully accurate translation (and fairly readable) 3. Well written translation 4. Finely crafted translation

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Quality - fairly readable versus well written Fairly readable draft translation: The increase in the cost of the project is

attributable to several reasons, including: Is there really a need to change it to: There are several reasons for the increase in

project costs:

Tendency to aim at the highest level with every text

Quality is not absolute: different levels suited to different cases

Exercise 2 - Scenario 1

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Place of revision in creating translation quality Quality factors in ideal descending order of

importance: Training of translators Assigning the right translator to a given text Giving clear pre-translation instructions Revision by a second translator

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Place of revision in creating translation quality Revision by a second translator should play the

smallest possible role. If a really dreadful translation has been produced, it

should not be revised; it should be thrown away. However, Translation Memory may be increasing the

requirement for revision.

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Topic 3: The revision parameters (things to check) Transfer of meaning Content (logic and facts) Language and style Presentation Consistency

Ref: Handout p.1

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Parameters – transfer

Accuracy – a semantic parameter Completeness – a mechanical

parameter Don’t forget to check numbers,

which may be a very important part of the message

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Parameters - content

Unlike transfer errors, content errors will be apparent to (expert) readers

Unlike transfer errors, factual and logical errors can be checked by reading the translation alone (i.e. without comparison to the source)

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Exercise on Content

Negative effects of stress

- Lack of concentration- Recourse to improvisation at the

expense of established procedure- Focused attention- Alternative solutions ignored- Inability to solve complex problems- Inflexibility

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Parameters - language Smoothness – consciously ignore for ‘intelligible’

and ‘fully accurate’ quality Tailoring – less important with expert readers Sub-language – correct terminology can

sometimes be ignored Idiom – some unidiomatic language allowable in

‘intelligible’ and ‘fully accurate’ quality fire exercise - fire drill

Mechanics – ignore if there’s a proofreader (except for commas that affect meaning)

Exercise 2 Scenario 2

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Skip

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Parameters - presentation Layout – a check for basic neatness

may suffice; leave other matters to proofreader

Typography – perhaps just check translation-related matters (e.g. italics transfered from source text which don’t make sense in the target language)

Organization – limit check to non-proofreading matters (e.g. will readers understand the acronym ZQT in section 6(b)(iii) of a manual if they are consulting that section only?)

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Topic 4: Degree of revision effort Check some parameters or many

parameters? Compare to source text or just

read translation? Read entire text or just parts?

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Degree of revision effort

Will depend on: the importance of the translation who did the translation:

Translator’s years of experience Translator’s experience with this kind of text

whether anyone else will be checking the translation

Ref: Handout p.10

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Degrees - Risks of comparative revision Not a natural reading process:

does not resemble the future reader’s experience.

Sense of text flow is lost: hard to identity problems of readability, inter-sentence connections and the like.

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Degrees - Problems of comparative revision

Negative effects of stress

- Lack of concentration- Recourse to improvisation at the expense of

established procedure- Focused attention- Alternative solutions ignored- Inability to solve complex problems- Inflexibility

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Degrees - Risks of unilingual revision Omissions may not be caught. Some mistranslations may not be

caught.

Ref: Brunette (2005) Handout p.5

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Degrees - Requirements of EN 150385.4.3 Revision: “…The reviser shall examine the

translation for its suitability for purpose. This shall include, as required by the project, comparison of the source and target texts…”

5.4.2 Checking: “On completion of the initial translation, the translator shall check his/her own work. This process shall include checking that the meaning has been conveyed, that there are

no omissions or errors…”

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Degrees - Partial revision - Spot-checking When revising others, it may be possible

to spot-check: read sentence or paragraph at random spots or regular intervals, including some near end of text

Or just take a glance (read front page, or title and first paragraph)

Self-revision must never be partial: read entire text

Exercise: Partial re-reading

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Degrees - Scanning for specific parameters “Follow your finger” looking for just one

or two specific features (e.g. client’s special terminology)

Obvious risk: you miss errors in other parameters.

Even with focused reading, make sure there are no typos or missing words on the front page, in the title or in the first paragraph (first impressions!)

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Degrees - Acceptable risk Ultimately, the degree of revision work you do

depends on the acceptability of undiscovered errors

No risk-free approach. Spending more time on revision may not produce

a better final product.

Ref: Lorenzo (Handout p. 6)

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Topic 5: Checking procedure • You can’t correct a problem until

you’ve noticed it!

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Checking procedure: will you spot the errors? Macro-attention versus micro-

attention Attention to meaning versus

attention to language and style Depending on your own

psychology, you may need to do more than one reading

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Checking procedure: will you spot the errors? Order of reading during

comparison: source-text first or translation first?

Which do you do? Do you think one of these approaches

might be better?

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Topic 6: Correcting

Keep checking and correcting separate in your mind

You may notice that a sentence is not concise, but if conciseness is not a goal, then don’t stop to make a sentence more concise

Thus: 1) spot potential problem 2) decide whether it merits change 3) make change

Think of revision as mostly reading, with just the occasional change

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Correcting principle #1

Default action: do nothing! If in doubt, make no change You may introduce an error. First, do no harm!

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Correcting principle #1

Avoid perfectionism – no unnecessary changes!

Not: Can this passage be improved?

But rather: Does it need to be improved?

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Correcting principle # 1

A correction is necessary if, without it, the translation will not be suited to purpose.

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Correction is definitely necessary when: You can’t understand the

translation without consulting the source text.

You need to read a sentence twice to understand it.

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Correcting principle #1

You can always improve a translation. There is no logical endpoint to improvement.

But that is not the job of the reviser. Revision is not a literary, stylistic

exercise. It’s hard for ‘language people’ to stop

themselves from making changes. Very important when revising others.

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Correcting principle: SatisficingThe term ‘satisfice’ (a combination of ‘satisfy’ and

‘suffice’) means to do what is good enough, what suffices while satisfying needs minimally. So in a satisficing approach to revision, you will either do nothing to the draft translation or you will choose the first solution you find that works (rather than continuing to search for the best possible solution).

Exercise: Criticizing a revision

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Correcting: Don’t get fixated on minor problems

“I was working on the proof of one of my poems all morning, and took out a comma. In the afternoon, I put it back.” (Oscar Wilde)

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Correcting: Don’t get fixated on

minor problems Dangerous feeling of satisfaction from

fixing many minor evident problems.

You notice things like a space between a word and a comma, but you don’t notice that a whole paragraph has been omitted, or that the word ‘not’ has been left out.

A matter of attention: what is your mind attending to as you revise?

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Correcting: Don’t get fixated on consistency

Even checking internal consistency can be very time-consuming with long texts.

Synonyms aren’t a bad thing. Consistency is not the most important feature of

a good translation.

Exercise 2 Scenario 3

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Correcting: When revising others

“No passion in the world is equal to the passion to alter someone else’s text.” (H.G. Wells)

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Correcting: When revising others Can I justify the change I am now making? If not, don’t make

it. Am I spending time imposing my own approach to

translating? Am I spending time imposing my own linguistic preferences?

Replace “bear in mind” with “keep in mind”? Can I live with those decisions of the translator where

correcting would require a major effort? Change every passive sentence to imperative: “the red button must be pressed”

to “press the red button”?

Do I need to spend time on this bit of research?

Exercise 2 Scenario 4

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Correcting: Composing the corrections

Don’t retranslate – make small changes. (This is easier to do when you are working into your first language.)

Ask what other changes are required by the change you just made.

Be wary of global Search&Replace. “However, difficult the text, I can translate

it.”

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Topic 7: Correcting on screen or on paper? Revise on screen (perhaps using Word’s

revision toolbar). Print out draft, find problems, correct them

on paper, transfer corrections to screen (make sure you transfer all of them!!).

Print out draft, find problems, enter corrections on screen.

Which of the above do you do? Does it depend on the text? Does it depend on whether you are revising yourself or someone else?

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Correcting on screen or on paper?Factors favouring screen: fewer steps, no need to write corrections twice, no forgetting to transfer

handwritten corrections to screen less paper used

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Correcting on screen or on paper?Factors favouring paper: more likely to spot errors, greater speed of reading, less eye strain, better geometry of work documents, easier to undo changes

Ref: Dayton (Handout p.5)

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Topic 8: Conflicts of loyalty Conflicts can arise because revisers feel a duty

toward: (1) the translator (2) the client (3) the end user (3) the employer (4) the source-text writer (5) professional organizations of translators

Exercise 2 Scenarios 5 and 6

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Review of issues: Some bad attitudes I wonder if this passage can be improved There are two ways of saying this (‘bear in mind’

or ‘keep in mind’). Which one is better? I’m revising, so I have to make some changes. This sounds better, so I’ll substitute it. (when revising others) I would have done it this

way, so I’ll just substitute that. I’ve just thought of a better translation, so I’ll

substitute it.

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Review of issues - What is the basis for making a change? Make a change if that is necessary to achieve

suitability for purpose What makes a problem serious? If it is interfering with

achieving suitability for purpose Suitability: means suitable to the the particular readers

and to the reason they are reading the translation? Default action: do nothing. Stop changing once you have achieved suitability.

Don’t look for an even better translation.

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Review of issues - Am I spotting the problems? Pay attention both to the micro-level and the macro-

level Pay attention both to meaning and to language/style Know your own weaknesses

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Review of issues - How can I speed up the revision process? Focus on certain parameters - don’t change other parameters When revising others, focus on the translation in front of you;

don’t think about how you would have translated the passage Avoid checking things you have already checked Avoid duplicating the work of other checkers (e.g.

proofreaders) Use fudging, omission, even literal translation (judiciously of

course!) Make high-impact decisions early in the drafting phase (e.g.

level of language – hard to change later). When revising others, have them indicate problems they had

and things they already checked Have in mind the right quality level for the text at hand

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Review of issues - The benefits of revision Revision is necessary because people make mistakes. Revision by a second translator provides a fresh look

at the text, somewhat similar to the the final user’s experience (though not completely, because the final user is interested in the subject matter, not the language).

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Review of issues - The disadvantages of revision Revision can waste time if you make unnecessary changes. Revision can introduce errors. Revision can end up as a substitute for proper training and for

assigning the right translator to a job Revision can make for bad working relationships with other

translators. Revision can create dependency. Revising the work of others is, for most people, not enjoyable because

it there is no opportunity for creativity.