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TTaarrggeettss oofftteenn hhaavvee vveerryy lliimmiitteedd wwiinnddoowwss ooff ooppppoorrttuunniittyy ttoo tteellll tthheeiirr ssttoorryy……ssoo iitt iiss ccrruucciiaall tthhaatt tthheeyy mmaakkee tthhee mmoosstt ooff tthheeiirr ttiimmee..
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Eight Tactics for Explaining Workplace Abuse to Decision-Makers
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+,1O#K)112#';8>,'*#',11#0%:L/:0/:>#*'%8/,*#'%#<,0/*/%:!S;C,8*G# ##
1) Be rational
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2) Express emotions appropriately
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#
bI feel like I have “Kick Me” tattooed on my
forehead.”
“It (the bullying) pushed me into the role of being a
child. That I was being scolded for doing something so
horrible and the emptiness and that blackness that I
felt because automatically I took on the role of ‘Oh my
God. I did something wrong’.”
“I was getting to the point where I was not
emotionally equipped to handle dealing with my
family. I was no longer happy. I couldn’t deal with
anything and I turned my back on my family. . . . I was
either online, reading a book, watching TV, I didn’t
care. Just whatever I could do to be alone. It was just
an emotional nightmare.” #
#
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.Sometimes I scream because I don’t want to go there. I don’t want to go. . . I’m in a
terrible depression. They keep raising my medications.c##
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3) Provide consistent details #
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“And she come after me and just started screaming and the
finger was out and she was in my face and I kept backing up
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because I was sitting there thinking ‘This woman is going to hit me.’ I just remember her
screaming ‘don’t you ever EVER blind side me again. You EVER blind side me again in a
meeting . . .’ And just the look on her face. . .”
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4) Offer a plausible story #
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5) Be relevant #
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'+,#K)112_*#K,+;L/%8#;:<#8,;0'/%:*G#7*#*)0+N#*/>:/./0;:'#';1C#'/S,#*+%)1<#</*0)**#'+,#K)112#
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+;8S#%.#'+,#;K)*,#K,0;)*,#/'#;..,0'*#S%8,#'+;:#%:,#,SO1%2,,G#7*#
%:,#';8>,'#8,L,;1,<N#bI’m like number fourteen in people of who
she has tried to get rid of.c
[:<,,<N#0%11,0'/L,#8,*/*';:0,#0;:#K,#S)0+#S%8,#,..,0'/L,#'+;:#
8,*/*'/:>#;1%:,G#[:#;#*')<2#%.#K)11/,<#,SO1%2,,*#0%:<)0',<#K2#
@;S,1;#D)'>,:!H;:<L/C#V455`WN#:%:,#%.#'+,#,SO1%2,,*#&+%#
0%11,0'/L,12#8,*/*',<#&,8,#./8,<N#&+/1,#45o#%.#'+%*,#&+%#8,*/*',<#
%:#'+,/8#%&:#&,8,#./8,<G ?+8%)>+#<,';/1/:>#'+,#&;2*#'+;'#%'+,8*#/:#
'+,#%8>;:/9;'/%:#;8,#K)11/,<N#';8>,'*#0;:#/:08,;*,#'+,/8#%&:#
08,</K/1/'2#K2#0%):',8/:>#;:2#K,1/,.R;8>)S,:'#'+;'#'+,#';8>,'#/*#
*%1,12#;'#.;)1'G#=;'+,8N#*/:0,#S;:2#%'+,8*#;1*%#;8,#';8>,',<N#'+,#
.;)1'#/*#S%8,#./8S12#O1;0,<#%:#'+,#K)112G#
#
6) Emphasize your own competence #
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0%SO,',:'#;:<#*'8%:>#,SO1%2,,*G#F%/:>#*%#+,1O*#,*';K1/*+#'+,#.;0'#'+;'#'+,#K)112/:>#/*#:%'#
;#8,*)1'#%.#O%%8#O,8.%8S;:0,#%:#'+,#A%K#;:<#8,/:.%80,*#'+;'#';8>,'#,SO1%2,,*#;8,#:%'#
*/SO12#bO8%K1,S#,SO1%2,,*Gc#B+,:#',11/:>#'+,/8#*'%8/,*N#/'#/*#+,1O.)1#.%8#';8>,'*#'%#8,S/:<#
1/*',:,8*#'+;'#'+,2#;8,#O8%.,**/%:;1#;:<#+/>+12#8,>;8<,<#K2#%'+,8*G#?+/*N#/:#')8:N#*)OO%8'*#
'+,#%L,8;11#01;/S#'+;'#they#;8,#:%'#8,*O%:*/K1,#.%8#'+,#K)112/:>G#
##
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#
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'+,2#;8,#:%'#L/0'/S*N#K)'#./>+',8*#;:<#*)8L/L%8*G##
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8,*%1L,#'+,#O8%K1,S*#;'#&%8CG#B+,:#';8>,'*#O8,*,:'#'+,S*,1L,*#;*#
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';8>,'*#&,8,#*%#K,;',:#<%&:#K2#'+,#K)112/:>#'+;'#&+,:#8,1;2/:>#
'+,/8#*'%8/,*N#'+,2#*;/<#'+/:>*#*)0+#;*N#bI am a bad employeeGc##
#
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O%%8#O,8.%8S;:0,G#H%S,#';8>,'*#./11,<#'+,/8#*'%8/,*#&/'+#:,>;'/L,#*,1.!8,O8,*,:';'/%:*#
&%8<,<#/:#&;2*#'+;'#*)>>,*',<#'+;'#'+,#';8>,'#;00,O',<#'+,S#;*#'8)'+G#7*#*)0+N#'+,#,..,0'#
%.#'+,*,#8,O8,*,:';'/%:*#/*#'%#08,;',#;#O/0')8,#%.#'+,#';8>,'#'+,#O8%K1,SG##
#
7) Show consideration for others’ perspectives ##
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TTiippss
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%8>;:/9;'/%:#;*#;#&+%1,G#-:,#';8>,'#,XO1;/:,<Q#
It’s like I used to give 120 percent all the time. I felt like it was
my job to lead an example. Come in early, do that job, get it done,
get it done right. And was getting beat up because my projects
were successful, my work was successful. Now I do C+ work which
grates against my nature to fly under the radar. I don’t want to be
noticed. . . And it’s just that I’m not gonna give them more than I
have to. I will do what I have to to keep my job, to get my
paycheck, and get my retirement. . . And that’s your taxes hard at
work right there.
T%:L,8*;'/%:;1#S%L,*#*)0+#;*#'+,*,#*)>>,*'#'+;'#';8>,'*#;8,#
0%:0,8:,<#;K%)'#'+,#K)112/:>#:%'#%:12#K,0;)*,#%.#;#:,>;'/L,#/SO;0'#%:#'+,S*,1L,*N#K)'#
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#
8) Be specific #
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,XO1;:;'/%:*#01,;8#;:<#,;*/12#):<,8*'%%<G#?+,#1,;*'#08,</K1,#*'%8/,*#;8,#L;>),#;:<#)*,#
/:<,./:/',#O8%:%):*#*)0+#;*#b'+,2c#;:<#b*+,Nc#'%#8,.,8#'%#S)1'/O1,#O;8'/,*N#;:<#1/*',:,8*#
+;L,#0%:*/<,8;K1,#</../0)1'2#.%11%&/:>#*)0+#*'%8/,*G#Y%8#,X;SO1,N#%:,#';8>,'#/:#'+,#*')<2#
%..,8,<#'+,#.%11%&/:>#b,XO1;:;'/%:c#%.#'+,#K)112/:>#,XO,8/,:0,Q###
“These supervisors were giving me evaluations but were not getting any
input from the faculty, which they’re supposed to do because that’s who we
work for. And that’s what they’re going on is what they’re writing themselves
which meant that I didn’t get a raise because they had gotten input from faculty
last fall but they somehow have not put that together yet.”
TTiippss
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#
###
Summary and Conclusion
-:0,#&%8CO1;0,#K)112/:>#K,0%S,*#;#:%8S;1#O;8'#%.#%8>;:/9;'/%:;1#/:',8;0'/%:N#/'#/*#
</../0)1'#'%#;<<8,**N#S;:;>,#;:<#0+;:>,G#?+/*#*/');'/%:#/*#,*O,0/;112#0+;11,:>/:>#.%8#
';8>,'*#&+%#;'',SO'#'%#08,;',#;#08,</K1,#*'%82#%.#;K)*,G#?+,#.;0'#'+;'#7S,8/0;:*#<%#:%'#
1/C,#'%#+,;8#%8#K,1/,L,#L/0'/S#*'%8/,*#S;2#K,#:,/'+,8#.;/8#:%8#A)*'N#2,'#/*#;#8,;1/'2#'+;'#S)*'#
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?+,8,.%8,N#8,*,;80+,8*#.8%S#'+,#@8%A,0'#.%8#B,11:,**#;:<#
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):<,8*';:<#+%&#'+,/8#*'%8/,*#%.#;K)*,#S/>+'#K,*'#K,#
0%:*'8)0',<#;:<#'%1<N#/:#'+,#+%O,*#'+;'#';8>,'*#0;:#O,8*);<,#
<,0/*/%:!S;C,8*#'%#/:',8L,:,G##
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%.#:,>;'/L,#,..,0'*#'+;'#/SO;0'#'+,#%8>;:/9;'/%:_*#K%''%S#1/:,N#8;:>/:>#.8%S#
O*20+%*%S;'/0#/11:,**N#'%#<,O8,**/%:N#O%*'!'8;)S;'/0#*'8,**#</*%8<,8#V@?HFWN#;:<#*)/0/<,#
%8#*)/0/<;1#/<,;'/%:G#['#/*#'+,8,.%8,#/:#'+,#K,*'#/:',8,*'#%.#K%'+#'+,#/:</L/<);1#K,/:>#';8>,',<#
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TTiippss
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#
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IItt iiss iinn tthhee bbeesstt iinntteerreesstt ooff tthhee eemmppllooyyeeee aanndd tthhee oorrggaanniizzaattiioonn ttoo hheellpp ssttoopp wwoorrkkppllaaccee bbuullllyyiinngg..
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#
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#
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TTeellll aa ssttoorryy…… #
…with a clear beginning, middle, and end.
…that clearly identifies the bully.
…that focuses on the bad behavior of the bully, not the target.
…with specific details about the bullying experiences, not other smaller complaints.
…that can anticipate and meet potential objections by
acknowledging the perspectives of others.
…that vividly conveys the cost of the abuse, yet is not so emotional that the listener must console rather than work
toward solving the problem.
…that is consistent, with details of quotations, times, places, and people.
…that uses metaphors or examples that others may find
familiar.
…that includes references to other people who have been bullied.
…that provides details about the negative effects of
bullying on peers and workplace productivity.
…that paints the target as a survivor, not a victim.
!"f!#$%&#'%#()*'#'+,#-../0,#()112# ################## ######3#4556#78/9%:;#(%;8<#%.#=,>,:'*###
?+,#@8%A,0'#.%8#B,11:,**#;:<#B%8C!D/.,#
References#
FA)8C%L/0N#\GN#]0T%8S;0CN#FGN#^#T;*/S/8N#pG#V455eWG#?+,#O+2*/0;1#;:<#O*20+%1%>/0;1#,..,0'*#%.#
&%8CO1;0,#K)112/:>#;:<#'+,/8#8,1;'/%:*+/O#'%#/:',:'/%:#'%#1,;L,Q#7#',*'#%.#'+,#O*20+%*%S;'/0#
;:<#</*;K/1/'2#+2O%'+,*/*G#International Journal of Organizational Theory and Behavior, 7N#
e`h!eh6G#
d/*,:+;8'N#]GN#^#D;&8,:0,N#\G#V"hheWG#7:/';#$/11N#T1;8,:0,#?+%S;*#;:<#'+,#0)1')8,#%.#8%S;:0,G#
GendersN#"hN#he!"4"G##
d/:;8*,:N#HG#V"hhhWG#?+,#:;')8,#;:<#0;)*,*#%.#K)112/:>#;'#&%8CG#International Journal of
Manpower, 20N#"`!46G#
d/:;8*,:N#HGN#^#]/CC,1*,:N#dG#pG#V455MWG#[:</L/<);1#,..,0'*#%.#,XO%*)8,#'%#K)112/:>#;'#&%8CG#[:#HG#
d/:;8*,:N#$G#$%,1N#FG#q;O.#^#TG#DG#T%%O,8#Vd<*GWN#Bullying and emotional abuse in the
workplace: International perspectives in research and practice#VOOG#"46!"eeWG#D%:<%:Q#
?;21%8#^#Y8;:0/*G#
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Political Communication, 11VMWN#4`M!46fG#
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