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TRANSCRIPT
“EARTHBOUND”
By
Alex
2
NESS, age 13, kind, innocent young boy. Slightly immature,
but not to a point where it will annoy the audience. As he
encounters his fears throughout the story, he become
stronger more mature and starts behave like a young man.
WEAPON: Baseball Bat, PSI
PUALA, age 13, personality almost the same as NESS, just a
girl. WEAPON: PSI, PRAYER, FRYING PAN
JEFF, age 12-14, The token NEEEEERD. WEAPON: LAZER
POO, age 14, Strong, Chinese ninja? Very “cool” with the
girls. Mr. Tough guy of the group. WEAPON: KUNG FU FIST OF
FURY
POKEY, age 13- 14, Starts off as just a normal brat. Over
the course of the story Pokey gets more and more power
through the works of the evil alien GIYGAS.
GIYGAS, age ?, ???
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Open with shot of night sky. Zoom down to a rural house.
Text on screen says “1925.” A STARMAN disguised as a Mormon
walks toward the door. Inside the house live a married
couple, GEORGE and MARIA. MARIA is looking out the window.
MARIA: GEEEORGE! [concerned]
GEORGE: (half asleep) *snore* {Holding gun like teddy}
MARIA: GEEEEEOOORGE! [Mad]
GEORGE: What yes? OOOH! Maria what is it. [confused]
MARIA: They’re here!
STARMORMON knocks on the door.
STARMORMON: Have you heard the Good News? [Robot Voice]
MARIA: (scared) Yes. Amen. Alleluia. Now will you please go
away.
STARMORMON: If you don’t comply with Master Giygas’s
orders, you will be destroyed.
GEORGE: Why don’t you tell your Master Giygas he can ea—
MARIA: George, stop!
STARMORMON crashes through door. He reveals his true form.
STARMAN: You will comply with our cosmic dark over lord
Master Giygas.
George charges at Starman from the other side of the room.
GEORGE: Not on your watch!
STARMAN grabs him. GEORGE tries to fire his shotgun, but it
ends up hitting the ceiling. Then, the STARMAN teleports
behind MARIA and grabs her by the shoulder. A UFO appears
off-screen. Star man carries them outside. Then they get on
UFO. Inside the ship there are dials of the time. Then the
Starman sends them Billions of years to the past. INT. Of
Space Ship, loud flashing noises are seen and the Ship
comes to a halt.
STARMAN: You will need these.
He gives him some airnorkles.
The door opens showing the primordial ooze that was Earth.
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Establishing shots of rocky and steamy planet. STARMAN
waves them on to move forward. They then go inside a dark
cave. The Starman guards lowers their spears. We discover
Giygas; he is contained in a machine. Not much of him is
visible. Maria runs to him screaming.
MARIA: OH NO! MY BABY!
GEORGE: *Takes off glasses* My God… what have they done to
you?
MARIA crying next to Apple of Enlightenment, kneeling on
the ground. GEORGE walks forward to try and comfort her.
Before he can, she gets up, furious, and charges toward one
of the guards. She tries to take his spear. They struggle,
and then GEORGE comes from behind and tries to put him in a
stranglehold. The STARMAN gives them a tiny shock, and the
let go, startled, and fall to the ground. Suddenly a noise
kind of like a scream comes from the walls. The STARMEN
quickly retreat outside of the cave. The exit to the cave
seals off. GEORGE and MARIA bang on the walls.
MARIA: (screaming) WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO US, SON!?
GEORGE and MARIA hold each other. The machine begins to
shake. For a split second, NESS’s face can see on the
machine, but it’s barely visible. The lighting flashes red
and black. Then, everything fades to black. Opening title.
Fade into a shot of the daytime sky. The camera zooms down
toward a sign which says “Welcome to Onett: the wildflower
of Eagleland.” We then see a montage of sorts of
establishing shots of Onett intercut with shots of NESS
walking. Over this, the opening credits play.
NESS arrives home from his bike. He walks inside the house.
NESS’s MOM: Hi, did you have a totally rad day at school
homie.
NESS: *chuckles* Hi mom.
TRACY is playing with a Furby.
NESS’s MOM: Joking aside how was your day?
NESS: Well, Pokey called me pigs butt during recess.
NESS’S MOM: You need to stop letting that boy push you
around.
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TRACY: Yeah! Kick his butt and spit in eyes, and make him
wet his pants!
NESS’S MOM: TRACY?! Watch your mouth! I think you have had
enough of these violent cartoons.
NESS: Well, I mean, he is not that bad. But he can be a
jerk sometimes. e
She turns off the TV.
NESS: Hey mom can I play that new video game I got for my
birthday.
NESS’S MOM: Sure, that’s fine.
Ness runs upstairs.
NESS: Yeah!
NESS’S MOM: Not past your time limit!
[Night] Ness is asleep while his controller hanging off the
bed. Some game is on the TV.
AERIAL view of ONNET at NIGHT. [1min]
A METEOROID flashes across the sky.
AERIAL on ONNET continues.
Ness’s windowsill outside. The curtains move gently with
the wind.
Camera on Ness who is sleeping in his own bed.
Camera pans right showing the rest of Ness’s room.
Left through the hallway showing all pictures of Ness’s
family, except his dad who is just a phone. The camera
continues through the hallway showing his little sister
Tracy’s room. Mother sleeping on a couch with a book.
Camera is on the windowsill. Then you hear explodey.
POV shot of Ness briefly opening his eyes. Everything is
blurry. Opens eyes again. Bright lights. All this time
police sirens are gradually getting louder. Becomes
clearer. Sees police cars out of his bedroom window. News
cameras are also there. Knock on back door.
NESS gets out of bed. He changes into normal clothes. He
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exits his room. He sneaks through the hallway. He grabs his
broken baseball bat from Tracy’s room. Knocking
intensifies. NESS opens the door. POKEY is at the door.
POKEY: (nervous, fake confidence) Hey! Ness! So… how’s it
goin’?
NESS: (annoyed, sleepy) Pokey look at me. How do you think
it’s-?
NESS’ mom snoring. Another pause.
NESS (quietly): What do you want, Pokey?
POKEY: Well, I… uh… How do I put this…? I kinda sorta may
or may not have left my little brother at a meteor
investigation site. Nothin’ major, right?
NESS gives him an annoyed look. He starts to close the door
on POKEY. Pokey puts his foot in the door.
POKEY: No, no, no, wait! Come on, man! Don’t do this to me!
I have my little brother on the line here!
NESS: How did you lose him in the first place?
POKEY: Well, y’see, uh… Let’s just say I lost him somehow.
The end.
NESS: Well your brother is lucky to have such a caring
older sibling.
Ness starts to shut the door one more time. Pokey holds it
open
POKEY: Wait, wait, wait! Come on! This is my little brother
we’re talking about! I’m worried!
(pause)
NESS: Alright, alright, fine.
Cut to an establishing shot of the crash site. Then, cut to
NESS and POKEY climbing over the fence into the site.
PICKY, POKEY’s little brother, runs to them.
POKEY (pretending to be brave): Picky! I came to rescue
you!
NESS: We.
PICKY: Pokey, I thought you abandoned me, you fartknocker!
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They argue for a few seconds. Pan over to the meteor.
Meteor begins to crack. NESS looks over.
NESS: Uhhh… guys? Do either of you have experience with
smoldering piles of space rock? Because somethings going on
here.
Meteor cracks a little more. Strange noises come from it.
It bursts open. Distant shot of a light shining straight
into the air.
POKEY stares in awe. He tries to walk away. NESS grabs him.
Meteor begins to make loud noises. Suddenly, the light
stops. NESS, POKEY, and PICKY stare agape. Long pause.
PICKY: What gives?
BUZZ BUZZ flies out of the crater.
PICKY: Oh, it’s just a stupid bee.
Buzz Buzz: Okay so a giant glowing meteor crash lands in
your home town and you think the thing that comes out is a
bee!
The boys shrug
Buzz Buzz: Don’t worry, for I am only a tiny floating head
from the future.
PICKY: EEEH…
Ness: Nah, that really doesn’t help.
Buzz Buzz: However, you must listen! Giygas, The
universal cosmic destroyer, sent all of us to the
horror of his eternal darkness.... Where I am from,
there is a well-known legend that has been handed
down from ancient times. The legend tells of three
boys and a girl who defeat Giygas. I believe Ness you
are one of those boys.
Ness: Okay, so far you haven’t given us any useful
information. So tell me, who is this Giygas!?
Buzz Buzz: That is for you to know later, but I will
tell you this, Giygas isn’t something you can
describe in mere words. Three things are of utmost
importance for his defeat: wisdom, courage, and
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friendship. ...I will tell you more later. And do not
be anxious about the future.
Buzz Buzz starts to fly away.
Short pause
Pokey: Well that’s enough for today, I think I going home.
PICKEY: y-y-eah me too guess.
Buzz Buzz stops in his tracks.
Buzz Buzz: Somethings off.
Starman Jr appears out of nowhere.
Star Man Jr: Buzz Buzz, you have been violating sector law
2.05 and have sentenced for treason. You are no longer
considered a hero anymore, just a stupid Bee.
BUZZ BUZZ: Stop calling a Bee! Time Travel is hard okay!
STARMAN: Shut up. Your death will continue in 3..
NESS: WHAT?
POKEY & PICKEY: *Jibber Jabber*
STARMAN JR: 2.
BUZZ BUZZ: Stand back!
STARMAN JR: 1
Star man Jr’s head starts to flash with colors.
BUZZ BUZZ: Stand back!
Buzz Buzz uses his psychokinesis to create a shield. He
shoots a lazer at the Starman
STAR MAN EXPLOOODES
Pause…
NESS: …What!?
PICKEY: Okay, explain everything that just happened.
BUZZ-BUZZ: That was Starman sent to brutally murder me.
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(Passive aggressive)
NESS: okey. WHAT’S A STAR MAN?!
BUZZ BUZZ: A Starman is an Alien soldier controlled by
Giygas to eradicate the human race.
NESS: Alright that was with all those laser thingy’s?
BUZZ BUZZ: What you just witnessed was the manipulation of
one’s surroundings, or as you humans call it Psychokinesis
or PSI for short. All of us have the potential power of PSI
locked in our brains.
PICKEY: Cool how do I learn it.
BUZZ BUZZ: Ah, good question. One way is through years of
practice and dedication. Although it can also be obtained
by passing it on, from one person to another.
(POKEY is having seizures.)
BUZZ BUZZ: I think; your friend seems distraught.
PICKEY: Nah he does this all the time.
BUZZ BUZZ: I’ll never understand the human race and their
bodily functions.
Ness: *chuckles*.
They walk home.
Cut to NESS, POKEY, PICKEY, and BUZZ-BUZZ walking into
POKEY and PICKEY’s house. POKEY and PICKEY’s mom is
standing in a dark corner, barely visible. their dad is on
the couch reading something. He hides it as soon as they
walk in.
P&P’s DAD (creepily): Hello… (extreme close up) son.
POKEY looks flabbergasted.
P&P’s DAD: I’m really sorry my kids troubled you, Ness. (to
P&P, between his teeth) You two are really gonna get it
now.
(P&P yell in protest.)
(P&P’s dad drags them off-screen. It is heavily implied
that they get a spanking. The dad comes back. Things are
really awkward now.)
10
P&P’s DAD: By the way, I would be happy if you left
sometime soon.
NESS: kay.
(NESS starts to walk away. He then notices P&P’s mom. She’s
staring at him with a stupid look on her face. NESS
continues to walk away with a confused look on his face.
Suddenly, she screams. NESS turns his head, startled.
Brief close-up of BUZZ-BUZZ. She swats him with a
newspaper. His blood and guts are all over the wall.)
NESS: Buuuuuuuuuuuuuzzzzzzz-Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
NOOOOOOOO!
(He runs to him. His curled up body is on the floor.)
P&P’s MOM: Ugh, what a mess. (She starts cleaning away.)
BUZZ-BUZZ: Ness… I don’t think I have much time left. Here
is what you need to know: To defeat Giygas your own power
must unite Mother Earth’s. The Earth will then channel your
power and multiply it. Each of these locations are your
sanctuary; one of them is near Onett. Alright Ness you are
becoming a very intelligent young man and before I go I
need to pass my *OOOOOH THE PAIN IT HURTS, EVERYTHING IS
GETTING DARK*. Before I pass on I need to give you my Psi.
GIVES PSI
BUZZ-BUZZ: Take this Rock, it is the sound stone it records
the melodies the four Sanctuary locations. The first one is
in Giant step. The second one…
Rock SMMMMAAAAAAAAASHES BUZZ-BUZZ. NESS takes rock
Ness(overwhelmed) Oh yah I think I got all of that, uum
Buzz-BUZZ? [Looks at the floor, then the rock and Ness has
a (startled face). Awkward pause.)
P&P’s MOM: Honey, where’s the disinfectant?
P&P’s DAD (offscreen): I dunno, you’re the maid in the
house.
POKEY (sarcastically, walking out of his room): What a
happy family we have here.
(cut to outside shot of NESS walking out of the house. The
sun is starting to rise. He walks to his house as the title
and opening credits roll. Once inside his house, he crawls
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into bed.)
NESS’s MOM: Ness, breakfast!
(NESS groans and rolls out of bed. He hits the drawer and
says “ow!”)
(at the table. TRACY is watching Animaniacs in the
background. NESS and his MOM are eating steak. Brief
silence before NESS says…)
NESS: Wait, why are we eating steak for breakfast?
NESS’s MOM: Oh, leftovers.
NESS: Oh. (disappointed)
(pause.)
NESS’s MOM: Ness, did you hear that big boom last night?
NESS: Umm…yep. Mm-hmm.
NESS’s MOM: It sounded big. I sure hope no one was hurt.
NESS: I’m, uh, pretty sure no one was hurt.
NESS’s MOM: Really? How would you know?
NESS: Intuition.
Phone rings
NESS’s MOM: Sorry can you hold that thought, I need to take
a phone call.
(In the background, the cartoon is interrupted for a news
break. It talks about the meteor; it shows NESS. The
reporter says to “stop this boy at all costs.”
TRACY: Is that my…
NESS: Wha-at? Oh no.
NESS turns around and gasps. He goes to turn off the TV.
Red static on the TV for a split second. He tries to cover
up the TV.)
NESS’s MOM: Julien I am sorry that the sunflower shipment
hasn’t arrived yet, but could you please give me maybe a
week to fill in paperwork. (Phone yells) Hey is my fault
that the seller gave us dandelions! (Phone yells more) Fine
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three days.
TRACY: Hey, I can’t see the TV! Let me see!
NESS: No, you’re not! No, you’re not!
(switches back to Animaniacs)
NESS’s MOM: I am sorry I going to have to get back to you
later. (Hangs up) I am on the phone!
NESS: What? But— (looks back) oh, OK. (gets out of the way)
NESS’s MOM: Ness, how old are you?
NESS: *mumble* Fuzzy Pickles
NESS’s MOM: How old are you?
NESS: Thirteen…
TRACY: And I’m FIVE!!!
NESS’s MOM: AWW you knew exactly what I was going to say my
little love bug.
TRACY: YAY! I’m a freak of nature!
NESS’s MOM: By the way, I think someone has a play date.
TRACY: Yay! MOOMY TRACY TIME! Hey you are not just going to
do errands are you?
NESS’s MOM: Well of course not. Ness, I’m leaving you at
home alone, so please take care of yourself. There’s
microwavable steak in the fridge if you get hungry. If you
need anything, the phone’s over there. I’ll be gone for a
REALLY LONG TIME.
(NESS nods obediently. NESS’s MOM Leaves the house very
slowllllyyyyyy.)
(He hangs up. Cut to him making a sandwich. He hears a
knock on the door. He is watching TV. He starts to walk
toward the door. Knocking continues. Weird alien noises can
be faintly heard.)
NESS: Alright, I’m coming!
(He looks through the eye window. A policeman with strange,
13
red eyes is standing in the doorway.)
NESS hides.
POLICEMAN: Onett police department. I’m only here to ask
you a few questions.
NESS: Uuuh, why is that?
The policeman barges into the house.
NESS: Hey!!
POLICEMAN: Last night, did you or did you not visit the
meteor crash site?
NESS: Actually, I… (thinks about answering honestly, but
then decides against it) Was your mom at the meteor crash
site?
The policeman contemplates.
POLICEMAN: That was your final chance. Prepare for
annihilation.
NESS is stunned. He starts to walk backward slowly. The
POLICEMAN shoots a laser with. NESS ducks. It destroys a
potted plant.
NESS: WH-at the?!
The POLICEMAN TURNS INTO STARMAN JR
STARMAN JR:
(Starman Jr. starts to advance. He continues to shoot
lasers from his eye. It blows stuff up. NESS dodges. They
move into the kitchen as this happens. NESS looks for a
knife in the drawers. He finds the knives, but they’re
child-locked. He exclaims angrily. He then remembers his
baseball bat. He has a look that says “wait a minute…” He
runs to his room. The Starman, Jr. chases after him and
continues to fire lasers. Once he’s in his room, he grabs
his baseball bat. He swings it at the Starman, Jr.)
NESS: Eat plastic, Johnny 5!
(The bat breaks. NESS smiles nervously and chuckles.
Starman Jr. shoots another laser, which barely misses and
burns ness’ hat. Ness hides under the bed. He contemplates
his next move and decides to try his psi.)
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NESS (turns to the audience): Oh, wait! I have psychic
powers now! PSI power!
(Awkward pause. An action figure falls over. )
NESS: Well, it was worth a try.
(The Starman, Jr. pulls NESS out from under the bed. NESS
screams. The Starman, Jr. aims directly at NESS and charges
up for another blast. Suddenly, a butterfly lands on NESS’s
head. Things become still and quiet)
(Then the butterfly disappears. Everything speeds back to
normal. NESS pushes his hands on the Starman. The Starman
glitches out and starts turning into other people one of
them is Ness. A power blast shoots out of his hands
unexpectedly. The Starman Jr. explodes on the ground on the
other side of the house. The walls of the house are gone in
that room. NESS falls down on the floor.)
NESS (freaking out): Uh… OK… OK… stay calm… everything’s
cool… but what the fuzzy pickles was that thing? (thinks)
(Quick flashback to Buzz-Buzz telling the prophecy. Ness
has a sad look on his face. Then he has a determined look
that says, “okay, I’m gonna do this.” Cut to him packing
his things in his backpack with a bat. Then, cut to him
walking out of the house. He pauses and looks at the house
one more time. He starts to get emotional, but stops.)
NESS: *sigh* No crying ‘till the end.
Ness walks around (establishing shots) of forest.
Out of Nowhere a guy falls out of a tree. Then the guy
says,
Photo Man: Pictures taken instantaneously! I’m a
photographic genius if I do say so myself! Okay, get ready
an instant memory! Look at the camera… Ready… Look at the
camera… Ready… Say Fuzzy Pickles.
Ness is confused, then shrugs and decides to give in.
Ness: Fuzzy pickles.
Photo Man: Wow, what a great photograph! It will always
15
bring back the fondest of memories…
The photo man climbs up the tree like a majestic squirrel.
Ness: Well that happened.
ONETT TOWN
Ness reads a sign that is the entrance to Onett and it
says “Welcome to Onett: The Wildflower of Eagle Land”.
Ness walks to town with a lot of establishing shots. More
shots, he looks for the place. Then Ness finds Hint man.
Ness: Sounds like a good idea.
NESS walks to the Hint man.
NESS: So, um. How does this work? (confused)
HINT MAN: *Money gesture*.
NESS: Oh.
NESS takes out money and puts it in the can.
NESS: So? Do your magic? (Nervous)*jazz hands*
The HINT MAN stares off into space
NESS: HELLO-OO? *waves hand*
NESS turns around to see what he is looking at.
NESS: (annoyed)
He then turns around to see that
NESS turns around for split second and then Hint man is
dressed up like a fortune teller.
NESS: WOAH!
HINT MAN: What are your troubles boy?
NESS: Uh, [Long pause] I need to know how to get to Giant
step.
HINT MAN: Boy, whatchoo askin me fo'? Go ask the may-a or
somethin. You wasting my time boy.
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NESS: Alright jeez what a rip-off.
He starts to walk away.
Then more establishing shots. He walks in town hall and
speaks to the receptionist.
NESS: Hi can I speak to the mayor.
THE REALLY WHITE RECEPTIONIST: *southern accent* Wait just
a minute dearie.
THE REALLY WHITE RECEPTIONIST hangs up the phone.
THE REALLY WHITE RECEPTIONIST: Now how can I help you
sweetheart?
NESS: Is the mayor available?
THE REALLY WHITE RECEPTIONIST: Oh you came here right in
the nick o-of time.
NESS: Awesome!
He walks into the Mayor’s office. The MAYOR is on his
computer.
(SMALL AWKWARD PAUSE)
MAYOR barely notices NESS.
NESS: Hi, excuse me do you know how to get to Giant step?
MAYOR: YAHUH.
(PAUSE)
NESS: …Could you tell me?
MAYOR: *Points at map stand*
NESS looks at map stand and grabs map.
(Brief pause)
NESS: Can you show me where on the map? (slightly annoyed)
MAYOR: Wait… let me finish.
The MAYOR is playing solitaire on Windows 95’.
NESS presses the escape tab.
MAYOR: WHA-HEY!
17
NESS: Can you please tell me where giant step is!? This is
a matter of national security.
MAYOR: For what nation, your club house? Let me guess, is
the vice president your mom!
NESS: Yeah, the mom who would happily gossip with all of
her lady friends about how their mayor spends more time
playing solitaire then paying off our debt! If she finds
out.
MAYOR snatches the map and scribbles in a thing while he
mutters something to himself.
MAYOR: THERE!!
NESS: Thank you.
NESS Walks away.
MAYOR: And you can tell your mother I’m going to destroy
that debt you hear me!?
NESS: UH-HUH. (Sarcastically)
Establishing shot of somewhere near Giant step.
Biking NESS, finds the shack.
Then he brakes and gets off the bike.
NESS: *Looks at map and cave then compares.
Ness traverses through the cavern.
NESS is nervously walking through the cave. It is a dark
cave. He walks ahead and sees a shadow of a giant ant on
the wall.
NESS is scared and notices another shadow. He soon is in
shock when he sees the giant ant.
TITANIC ANT: I am one of the sanctuary guardians. Defeat me
and then you may pass!
THE TITANIC ANT is finally shown. It turns out to be the
size of a mutt.
NESS: (relieved, stuttering) Oh, uh, yeah, okay, sure.
Then he puts up his hands in a fighting position. The ANT
fires a PSI blast at NESS’s feet, but Ness screams and
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jumps out of the way.
NESS: *pant pant* Alright… so that’s how you wanna play
this, huh? Alright, fine!
NESS turns his hat backward, picks up a rock, and tries to
throw it at the TITANIC ANT. The TITANIC ANT zaps it in
midair and it explodes. NESS ducks. He takes out his bat,
yells, and charges at the TITANIC ANT. The TITANIC ANT
fires blasts at NESS; he dodges a few, but some of them hit
him. One blast knocks the bat out of his hand. The blasts
weaken him a little, but he charges on. Once he gets close,
he tries to tackle the TITANIC ANT. He lands on top of the
ant, and they struggle. NESS accidentally fires a few PSI
blasts into the air. He is startled.
NESS: Whoa!
One blast fires at the ceiling of the cave. One of the
stalactites falls down. The TITANIC ANT is now on top. NESS
struggles out from underneath. Once NESS is out of the way,
the stalactite impales the TITANIC ANT off-screen. NESS is
tired from the fight. He pants and is out of breath. He has
a shocked look on his face, trying to take in everything
that just happened. He looks at his hand. He goes to pick
up his bat. He slowly walks past the boulders. He walks
through a small tunnel. Through the tunnel is a spring
shaped like a footprint. He walks up to the water; he then
brings out the sound stone. Suddenly, everything becomes
brighter.
There is a sudden flash, we suddenly find NESS at his
house. Confused, he walks around slowly. He notices a
younger version of KING. He hears someone talking on the
phone in another room (presumably his father). He then
walks into his room, and he sees himself as a baby in a
crib. His MOM is there rocking him and singing a lullaby.
They don't seem to notice him. He hears distorted noises
coming from outside, so he turns around and leaves the
room. Once he is out of the room, the hallway is completely
different. He looks out a window and sees a bad
neighborhood. In the distance, a sign which originally said
"Podunk" can be seen ("Threed" is now spray-painted over
it). He walks into another room with a baby in a crib. The
baby is barely visible. NESS approaches it. Soon, we can
see a pale, wrinkled hand.
Cut back to Giant Step, where NESS wakes up as if it were a
dream. He looks at the sound stone. There is now a light
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inside of it, which was not there before.
Cut to NESS walking out of the cave. He finds his bicycle,
gets on it, and rides away. It cuts to NESS’s MOM in the
car with TRACY.
They are driving until they reach their house in ruins.
NESS’s MOM: (Whisper) what the hell
TRACY: Mommy what’s going on?
They leave the car.
NESS’s MOM is shocked at Ness’s room. TRACY screams on the
side of the house.
TRACY: MOMMY!!! WAAAAAAAAAAH!
NESS’s MOM runs to TRACY.
Cut to NESS, still on his bike, whistling the bicycle theme
from the game. He comes across a suburb with a sign that
says "Twoson—It's like Onett, but two." He bikes into the
suburb. He comes across a house surrounded by policemen. He
stares curiously. Suddenly, he hears a voice in his head.
He is startled. He suddenly stops his bike.
PAULA VOICE (in NESS's head): NESS, NESS, NESS!
He is confused at first, but then dismisses it. He looks
side to side and picks his ears. He keeps riding, then it
comes back.
PAULA VOICE: Ness!
NESS stops again. This time, he is freaked out. He
hesitates, then tries to communicate with the voice.
NESS (looking toward the sky): H-hello?
PAULA: Yes, finally! A response!
NESS: What's going on? Why are there voices in my head? Who
are you? How do you know my name? Are you my guardian angel
or something?
(A random NEW AGE RETRO HIPPIE in the background is staring
at the whole situation. His eyes are a little red.)
PAULA: My name is Paula. I've been trapped in darkness for
a long time.
20
NESS: Uh... how are you talking to me?
(The hippie walks forward. He looks toward the sky to try
and see what NESS is looking at.)
PAULA: I'm communicating through PSI. You know what that
is, right?
NESS: Wait, seriously? I have that, too!
PAULA: Really? Wow, what a weird coincidence!
NESS: Right? So, uh, what, you just calling to say hi?
PAULA: Well, I've been captured by a religious cult and I'm
about to be sacrificed.
NESS: Wha—that's terrible!
PAULA: I know, right?
NESS: Wait—so you're not my guardian angel then?
PAULA: If I was, this whole exchange would be even weirder
than it is.
NESS: Good point.
(He turns around. The hippie is still staring up into the
sky. The hippie notices NESS looking at him, then walks
away. NESS then looks away, as if nothing had happened.)
NESS: So, uh, you want me to rescue you or...?
PAULA: That'd be nice, yeah.
NESS: So, can you tell me where you are?
PAULA: For starters you don't need to look at the sky or
talk out loud.
NESS: Thanks. (looks down) Ow, my eyes!
*NESS's eyes hurt from looking at the sun*
Cut to NESS biking through the woods.
NESS (in his head this time): You sure this is the right
way?
PAULA: Yes, I'm sure. Now turn right at that river.
NESS walks through the forest some more. Then he comes to a
21
valley. He sees a small town in the valley.
NESS: (a little skeptical) Okay...
He walks toward the village. After getting a closer look,
NESS notices that the place is a bit "too happy." He walks
around for a short time, then a random lady comes up to
him.
RANDOM LADY (very enthusiastically): Well hi there, young
man! How do you like our little town, friend?
NESS (nervous): It's, uh, charming. (in his head) Psst...
Paula... where do I go now?
PAULA: See that old house in the distance? I'm under it.
LADY: What's your name, little boy?
NESS (sarcastic): Will Smith. (in his head) I think I see
it.
LADY: Where do you live?
NESS: Bellaire Avenue. (starts to walk quickly toward the
house.)
LADY: What's your social security number?
NESS: (in his head) Uh oh, I think I'm being followed.
PAULA: She may be trying to recruit you. Just ignore her.
She suddenly stops and stares at him intently. NESS walks
on, confused.
Cut to NESS arriving at the house.
NESS: This the place?
PAULA: Yup, just head on in.
NESS looks at the camera a little suspicious. Then he
shrugs and goes in. He finds the trap door to the basement.
He opens it and goes down the ladder. It's very dark in the
basement. He sees a cage with a girl his age inside.
NESS (yells): Hey! Are you in there!?
PAULA: Ness, is that you?
NESS: Uh, yeah, hold on, I'm coming!
22
He walks toward the cage.
NESS: It's really dark in here, is there a light somewhere?
PAULA: Hold on, I think I can help.
She uses PK Thunder and the lights turn on. They can see
each other for the first time. They stare at each other for
a while. After a pause...
PAULA: Well, are you gonna save me or not?
NESS: Oh, uh, right.
He walks toward the cage.
NESS: Where are the keys?
PAULA: Hmm... wow, I really didn't think this through.
NESS: Can't you use your PSI or something?
PAULA: I haven't been fed in 2 days. I was only able to
communicate with you because you were close.
NESS: Oh. Yeah, that would do it. Wait, so what do we do
now?
PAULA: Well... (thinks for a little while) I guess they
might have some keys at their headquarters.
NESS: Where's that?
PAULA: It's the building with the statue of a person
holding a paintbrush on top of a bucket. Trust me, you
can't miss it.
NESS: 'Kay. (starts to walk away, then yells back) I'll be
back!
PAULA: I should hope so!
Cut to NESS outside of the house. Suddenly, 2 CULTISTS grab
NESS and chloroform him.
Cut to him waking up at the cult headquarters. He and PAULA
are there, and they are both tied to a chair. PAULA is also
tied to a harness. The cult leader, CARPAINTER, is there,
as well as several other cultists walking in a circle. CAR
PAINTER is wearing a ridiculous costume which includes a
tesla coil taped to his head.
23
CARPAINTER: Welcome one and all to this glorious ceremony,
in which we, the servants of the almighty Happy Happy, will
paint this girl blue.
PAULA: Really? That’s it?
Then, some cultists pull back a curtain, revealing a pot of
boiling blue paint.
CARPAINTER: Yeah. That's it.
PAULA gulps nervously. Suddenly, NESS begins to laugh.
CARPAINTER: Do you find your demise amusing, boy?
NESS: Oh, incredibly. I mean, a boiling pot of blue paint?
(laughs some more) I'll give you points for originality.
PAULA gives him a disgusted and confused look.
CARPAINTER: SHUT UP! Tell me, what do you find so
ridiculous about a death worthy of the almighty Happy
Happy?
NESS: Oh, where to begin? I mean, for starters, you guys
are all probably gonna die with us, what with all the
fumes. Oh, and the boiling isn't exactly helping.
A couple of the cultists cover their mouths and shuffle out
of the room. Meanwhile, PAULA is using a tiny PSI beam to
break herself free.
CARPAINTER: SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!
NESS: And of all the ways to go...paint? What, was a pit
full of paper too much? I'd rather die of papercuts! The
horror!
CARPAINTER: (fuming) Boy, you've tested my patience long
enough! That's it, you perish first!
A cultist begins to raise NESS using his harness. He winks
at PAULA. She slowly scoots out of the room in her chair.
Once she is out of sight, she slips out of the ropes. She
looks around, then finds a bunch of switches. She flips one
of them, then a trap door opens, causing the cultists
walking in a circle to sequentially fall in.
CARPAINTER: What the...?
24
The cultist lowering NESS into the pot stands around
confused.
CARPAINTER: Well, don't just stand there, keep going!
The cultist continues. Meanwhile, PAULA is frustrated. She
punches the wall of switches in anger. She uses PSI to send
electricity through the wall. It hits CARPAINTER's tesla
coil and he falls unconscious. PAULA finds a frying pan
among a pile of junk. She sneaks up behind the cultist and
knocks him out. NESS begins to fall; he screams. PAULA
grabs the rope just as NESS is about to fall in. He sighs
in relief. She lifts NESS to safety. Then, she runs over
and unties him.
NESS: (relieved) Thankyouthankyouthankyouthank--!
PAULA: Okay, you're welcome, you're welcome...
NESS: Hey, what's with the frying pan?
PAULA: Oh, I, uh, knocked out a guy. I had limited options.
It's not really important.
NESS: (looks over at CARPAINTER) Whoa, check out that guy's
face.
Half of CARPAINTER's face is that of an alien.
PAULA: Well, that explains a lot.
NESS: Wait, it does?
PAULA starts to walk out. NESS follows.
Cut to NESS and PAULA riding through the suburbs on NESS's
bike. They reach PAULA's house.
PAULA: This is my house.
NESS: Alright.
He stops. PAULA gets off.
PAULA: Well, I'll see you around.
NESS: Really?
PAULA: Hey, anything's possible.
She starts to walk away.
25
PAULA: Well, 'bye.
NESS begins to wave goodbye, then remembers something.
NESS: Hey, wait!
PAULA turns around.
NESS: Um... This is gonna sound weird, but... you have PSI,
right?
PAULA: (a little confused) yeah...
NESS: And... you're a girl, right?
PAULA gives him a look that says "duh."
NESS: Well... There's, like, this prophecy...
PAULA: Go on...
NESS: Well, it's like, there's three boys and a girl and
they gotta stop this evil dude and--
PAULA: Wait! I know exactly what you're talking about!
NESS: Say what now?
PAULA: Yeah, to defeat the evil Giygas, right?
NESS: That's... exactly right. So, uh, I'm one of the boys
and I was thinking maybe you were the...?
PAULA: Yeah, so was...I...
They both realize what's happening. After a little pause.
PAULA: Are we going or what?
NESS: Oh, sorry I was, thinking?
PAULA hops on. They ride for a little while. PAULA's
stomach growls, then they look at each other.
Establishing shot of the outside of a burger restaurant.
Then, cut to the inside, where NESS and PAULA are eating.
PAULA: Man, it's been way too long since I've had a good
burger. Pretty much the only ones I've had recently have
been made by my dad. He's not very good at grilling, but
he's great at setting them on fire.
NESS: (chuckles) My mom's a pretty good cook. My dad's...
26
uh... not around much.
PAULA looks confused at first, but then brushes it off.
PAULA: So... where do we go next?
NESS: I don't kn—hey!
PAULA steals a few of NESS's fries. Then, NESS comes to a
realization. Brief flashback to the vision he had earlier.
NESS: Wait a minute...
PAULA: (with fries in her mouth) What? I've been locked in
a cellar for three days?
NESS: Paula, have you ever heard of a place called Podunk?
PAULA: Umm... nope. Can't say I have.
NESS: Hold on. (takes the map out of his backpack) Dang, I
don't see a Podunk on here. Could be in another country for
all I know.
PAULA: Why-why do you ask?
NESS: I had this vision... I saw a sign that said Podunk...
I thought maybe it meant something.
At another table, a band called the RUNAWAY 5—GREGORY,
T.J., NICKY, LUCKY, GIL, and KENNETH--are talking. NESS and
PAULA overhear them.
NICKY: ...So our next stop is Fourside, right?
LUCKY: Yeah, but the streets in Threed are closed, so we'll
have to take a detour.
Back at NESS and PAULA's table, NESS comes to a
realization.
NESS: Threed... Threed... Why does that sound so familiar?
GIL: Hey, are you kids eavesdropping on us?
NESS: (studders) Uh... n-no, no.
PAULA: Hey, someone took your briefcase!
GIL: You think we're stupid or somethin'?
PAULA: No, seriously, look!
27
GIL: (starts to turn around) I swear, this'd better not be-
-
KENNETH: Hey, someone took our briefcase!
They leave the restaurant and start to run after him, but
they get tired really quickly.
PAULA: (holding NESS's food) Hey, are you gonna finish
this!? (pause. She shrugs, then goes back inside.)
GREGORY: Man—there goes our million dollars.
NESS: What were you doing keeping a million dollars in a
briefcase?
GREGORY shrugs. Then, NESS notices that the thief stole his
bike.
NESS: Hey, that’s my bike! You’re going to pay for that!
He starts to run after the thief, but can't catch up with
him on the bike.
NESS gets out his bat. It knocks the thief unconscious off
screen.
NESS: Wow, I didn't think that would work...
The Runaway 5, who did not see NESS fire the blast, walk
up to him.
LUCKY: What happened?
NESS: Uh... that guy took your money!
LUCKY: Oh yeah, that's right!
They all run up to the thief and GREGORY grabs the
briefcase and hugs it. PAULA comes running behind.
PAULA: Hey, what happened? (notices the bike) Aw, dang it!
NESS: Well, we could always take a bus. (a bus leaves
behind them) ...tomorrow.
NESS and PAULA sulk for a little bit.
GIL: Where did you guys say you were going again?
NESS and PAULA look at each other.
NESS forth wall breaks
28
NESS: To all the kids out there, remember not to try this
at home.
Cut to them inside the Runaway 5's tour bus. They are all
holding their instruments, except for T.J., who is just
holding drumsticks. At first, everyone just sits there,
silent, bored. Then, GIL the bus driver, turns on the turn
signal. NESS starts tapping his leg to the rhythm. NICKY
begins to hum "Being Friends" (from Mother 1). T.J. starts
to play along by hitting his drumsticks on random objects.
KENNETH, the bassist, begins to play along also. Then NICKY
starts to play along on the guitar. LUCKY starts to play
the saxophone. NESS starts singing loudly, and then
everyone immediately shuts up. They stare at him, then they
act as if nothing had ever happened. After a pause, NESS
says to PAULA:
NESS: So, uh, I wonder who those other 2 guys from the
prophecy are?
PAULA: Beats me.
NESS: How are we even gonna find them?
PAULA: I dunno. Come to think of it, they might be in a
whole other country for all we know.
NESS: Oh yeah. Hmm... Well, you found me through telepathy,
right? Maybe you should try that again. It'd at least be a
step in the right direction.
PAULA: I dunno, the range probably isn't that big...
NESS: Hey, it's worth a shot.
PAULA: Well, I guess I could give it a try.
She closes her eyes and concentrates. Then she instantly
falls asleep.
NESS: Uh... Paula?
He pokes her, then shrugs.
Then, zoom out of the bus. Then, cut to some establishing
shots of WINTERS, JEFF's England-like home country. Then,
some establishing shots of JEFF's boys' boarding school.
Cut to JEFF suddenly waking up (with his homework on his
stomach) in his bunk bed with his friend TONY. TONY is
listening to boy band music on a Discman. He removes one of
his headphones.
29
TONY: Are you alright, mate?
JEFF: Hm?... Yeah, sure... I just had a weird dream is
all... (notices his homework all over the floor) Oh, you've
got to be kidding me...
TONY: (chuckles, then looks at his watch) Oops, we'd
probably better get to class.
JEFF: Blimey, you're right! (tries to pick up his things)
Cut to them in the hallway. JEFF is carrying a machine.
TONY is carrying both of their books.
TONY: You ready?
JEFF: Ready as I'll ever be, I guess...
They walk into class.
TEACHER: (annoyed) Ah, Tony, fashionably late as usual, I
see. (more happily) Hello, Jeff.
JEFF: Uh... hi.
TEACHER: Well, could you show us your project?
They walk to the front of the class nervously.
TONY: (whispering) Don't worry, we've got this.
JEFF places the machine on the teacher's desk.
TONY: Alright, I'm the test dummy and Jeff does everything
else. Take it away.
JEFF: (nervous) Uh... th-thanks. Everyone... this is our
project... It's called... uh... brain wave transmitter.
It... picks up brain waves... and, uh... transmits them in
an visual form. M-my assistant Tony and I will demonstrate.
Tony, will you, uh, step toward the machine, please? (he
does) N-now... as you can see... I'm pushing the on b-
button... (he pushes it) and b-behold, a, uh, visual
representation of Tony's brain!
Nothing happens. A cough can be heard from one of the
students.
JEFF: Um... I, uh, believe there has been a malfunction. I
will...uh... attempt it myself to s-see if it is working.
He walks over to the machine. Nothing happens.
30
TEACHER: Perhaps you two might've been a bit overambitious.
JEFF and TONY look depressed, then walk back toward their
seats.
JEFF (suddenly): Hold on, wait! No, no, this was supposed
to work! We've been working on this for two weeks! There's
no way—H-hold on! I can make it work, I swear!
TEACHER: Calm down, Jeff. I can tell that you have
something here. This is a well-made machine. If you can get
it working within the week, I can still give you a passing
grade, but I'll have to mark it down for...obvious reasons.
JEFF: (sigh) Okay.
He turns off the machine and carries it over to his desk.
Cut to later that night; JEFF is working on the machine.
TONY is on the bed playing a Game Boy.
JEFF: I've checked every part of the source code, but
there's just nothing wrong with it.
TONY: Maybe you should try turning it off and back on
again.
JEFF: Wha—but it's so basic! That can't be it!
TONY: Have you tried it?
JEFF gives him a look; then he turns it off and back on
again. He points it at himself, then at TONY. Nothing
happens.
JEFF: See? I told you.
He starts working on some homework. Suddenly the machine
starts to pick up brain waves. JEFF doesn't notice, but
TONY does.
TONY: Uh... you may want to check on that again.
JEFF looks at the screen. He stares, amazed.
TONY: ...Aaaaaaaaand my work here is done. (slips on
headphones)
JEFF goes onto a computer next to the machine. He goes
through some coding.
JEFF: Wait a minute... Tony! Come take a look at this!
31
TONY takes off his headphones and comes to look at the
computer screen.
JEFF: This is very peculiar...
TONY: What?
JEFF: Well, for starters, these waves aren't coming from
us.
TONY: Huh? I thought it only worked within a small radius.
JEFF: That's what I thought too, but these are coming from
some unknown source. Could be miles away for all we know.
TONY: How's that even possible?
JEFF: I don't know...but we could be on the verge of a huge
scientific breakthrough here.
TONY: Sweet! We'll get that passing grade for sure!
They high five.
Switch back to NESS and PAULA. NESS is tired. First we see
PAULA waking up from sleep.
NESS: You 'wake, Paula?
PAULA: (drowzy) Ugh... barely.
They sit there for a few seconds. Then cut to GIL, who is
very tired at the wheel. Then we see the saxophonist
asleep, blowing into his saxophone as he snores. The bus
enters Threed. GIL realizes where they are, then suddenly
becomes more awake.
GIL: Hey, wake up everybody! We've reached our destination.
NESS: Sweet.
Suddenly the bus enters a dark tunnel. Things become eerie.
NESS, creeped out, looks out the window and sees a deformed
reflection of himself. He freaks out.
PAULA: What?
NESS: I thought I just saw... (shudders)
PAULA: Saw what?
32
Suddenly, the bus runs over something. GIL stops the bus.
NICKY: What was that?
GIL: Dunno. Guess I'd better go outside and check.
GIL leaves the bus. He looks at the zombie, and then has a
look of horror on his face. Cut to back inside the bus;
GIL's scream of terror can be faintly heard. Everyone
inside the bus jumps.
NESS: Hold on, I'm going out there.
NESS grabs his bat and leaves the bus. He slowly creeps
behind the bus. Suddenly, the zombie jumps at NESS. He
struggles to get it off of him for a while; then LUCKY
comes out of the bus with a gun. He tries to aim for the
zombie without hitting NESS. Eventually he fires and it
hits the zombie. NESS throws it off himself.
NESS: Are you crazy!? You almost killed me!
LUCKY: But I didn't. Also, I kinda saved your life.
NESS: Oh yeah... thanks.
Everyone else comes out of the bus.
NICKY: What happened?
NESS: This... thing just jumped at me.
They look at it on the ground.
NICKY: What even is that thing?
LUCKY: Looks almost like a zombie or something...
NICKY: But zombies aren't real!
LUCKY: Oh, so someone just decided to put on gray face
paint and walk down a dark tunnel?
NESS: Either way, we should probably get out of here.
They go back inside the bus. GIL tries to start the bus,
but it doesn't start.
GIL: Oh no... Please start... Come on, you can do it...
(tries it a few more times but it doesn't work)
He goes to the back of the bus
33
GIL: Um... Guys? Bad news. The bus won't start.
Everyone freaks out.
GIL: Okay, okay, calm down. Why don't we just walk out of
the tunnel and try to find help.
KENNY: But we can't just leave the bus here!
GIL: Okay, so maybe the adults should leave while the kids
stay behind and watch the bus.
GREGORY: One of us should probably stay behind and watch
the kids, though. Hey, T.J. are you okay with that?
T.J. shakes his head.
GREGORY: Thanks, T.J.
T.J. face palms.
Cut to 4 hours later. Subtitle on screen says "4 hours
later." NESS and PAULA are bored; T.J. is outside of the
bus trying to fix it. After a pause, PAULA looks out the
window
PAULA: Ness, you might wanna look at this...
NESS looks. There are several zombies outside.
Cut to T.J. outside of the bus. He notices the zombies,
then starts hurrying to finish fixing the bus. NESS starts
to run out of the bus.
PAULA: What're you doing!?
NESS: Come on, we gotta go help him!
They run outside and meet T.J.
PAULA: Keep working, we'll fend them off!
T.J. has a look of disbelief on his face.
NESS starts to hit zombies with his baseball bat.
PAULA: Keep fighting them off! While gonna freeze these
livid corpses!
NESS: You can do that? Cool!
PAULA charges up a big PK Freeze as NESS fights off the
zombies and T.J. is finishing up fixing the bus. Eventually
34
NESS starts to get overwhelmed by zombies.
NESS: Uh... Paula? I could really use that ice blast right
about now!
PAULA: Working on it!
After a little more fighting...
PAULA: Now!!
NESS jumps out of the way; PAULA fires the blast. All of
the zombies get frozen.
NESS: Go, go, go!
They all run inside the bus. T.J. slams the gas and they
drive off quickly. Outside the tunnel are more zombies.
They are about to hit another zombie; T.J. swerves away at
the last second, and they end up driving into a nearby
lake. NESS and PAULA get out of the lake. NESS is coughing
up water.
PAULA: Hey, wait a minute! Where's T.J.?
They start looking around and calling T.J.'s name. They
eventually wander into a foggy town.
They call T.J.'s name one more time. NESS sees a shadowy
figure in the middle of the street.
NESS: Ummm... Hey! Excuse me? We could use some help over
here!
A creepy-yet-seductive voice says:
VOICE: Come over here...
NESS: Um.... o-okay.
PAULA: Ness, maybe this isn't such a good idea. I mean,
doesn't this whole thing give off kind of a creepy vibe?
NESS: Come on, they're here to help us.
PAULA sighs, then they start walking toward the figure.
Suddenly it slides to the left quickly.
NESS: Hey, where are you going?
They follow it to an abandoned building; one of the walls
is broken. NESS looks around.
35
PAULA: Well, she's gone. We can go now.
NESS: Wait, we don't know that.
PAULA: Yes we do. Let's go.
NESS: Wait! Maybe she's behind the wall. Come on.
NESS walks through the torn-off wall; PAULA walks through
the door.
NESS: I'll check in the back, you check over here.
NESS walks toward the back. PAULA starts looking through
some drawers. She finds a pair of underwear.
PAULA: Ew!
She puts it down. She looks through the next door. She
finds something off-camera. She gets sick to her stomach.
Cut to NESS walking through a kitchen holding his bat,
ready for a fight. Suddenly he hears a moaning sound. He
crouches under the kitchen table. He looks out from under
the table; he sees a zombie lady drinking something that
smells really bad. NESS gets sick to his stomach. He tries
to hold his breath, but can't for very long. He takes a
gasp, and the zombie hears him. Switch back to PAULA as we
hear NESS scream. PAULA runs toward NESS; they meet up with
each other and zombies are surrounding the building from
every direction. PAULA starts PSI blasting the zombies.
PAULA: Come on, Ness, help me!
NESS (hitting them with his baseball bat): What do you
mean? I'm doing the best I can!
PAULA: Why can't you just use PSI?
NESS: Yeah... uh... funny story about that...
PAULA: Whatever, there's no time! We gotta fight!
The zombies dogpile them. Fade into NESS and PAULA, with
their arms and legs chained together, being taken by
zombies into a dungeon. They set them down on the ground
and walk away. After a little pause...
NESS: Man, this sucks.
PAULA: I wonder where the rest of the guys are...
NESS: Oh no, something horrible might've happened to them!
36
They might've been eaten alive! They might've had the skin
ripped straight from their bones and eaten right in front
of their eyes!
NICKY (from the distance): That's disgusting! We're right
here, you know!
NESS and PAULA look over; the Runaway 5 are tied up just
like them a little farther away.
PAULA: Oh, hey guys.
NICKY: So, how'd you guys end up in this joint?
PAULA: Yeah Ness how did we end up in this joint?
NESS: Hey is my fault that PSI is just a plot convenience
at this point?
PAULA: What type of excuse is that, Ness?
Long pause.
NESS: A good one.
PAULA: You’re seriously not blaming the writers at this
point are you?
NESS: Yup… (Long Pause) Do you want to advance the story?
Or are we going to sit here until the credits roll.
PAULA: Fine.
Switch to Winters.
Jeff is on the balcony trying to read more signals. He is
wearing headphones to decipher any brain waves. Tony comes
outside wearing pajamas and holding coffee.
TONY: Have-ya found anything yet? [chilled mood]
JEFF: *sigh* No.
[pause]
TONY gives the cup of coffee to Jeff.
JEFF: Thanks.
Tony sits down.
TONY: Your welcome. [Pause]
37
JEFF: Is everything working?
TONY: The language translator, the antennae and Windows 9X
are both working fine. Why do you ask?
JEFF: I haven’t gotten another signal all day.
TONY: Huh. [Pause]
JEFF: Tony.
TONY: Yes.
JEFF: What’re we doing here?
TONY: Ah, existentialism. You see reality is a mere (fig…)
[cut off].
JEFF: No Tony, I mean at this university.
TONY: Hmm, I guess to get smarter. I think it is also to
prove to the world how brilliant we can be.
Jeff doesn’t answer.
TONY: What’s wrong. [Pause]
JEFF: Do you see our classmates over there.
TONY: Yes?
JEFF: They look so happy, living life, having fun.
Tony glances and sees a girl and a boy holding hands.
TONY blushes.
TONY: YEES?
JEFF: I’m saying that I want to leave.
TONY: WHAT?! But why?
JEFF: TONY, I already have my Graduates degree. Plus, I
don’t think I can be here until I am no longer a kid
anymore.
TONY: We signed our adulthood contracts when we were seven.
Plus you’re the only one that’s nice to me, everyone else
calls me very nasty names.
JEFF: Like what?
38
TONY: I’d rather not say.
TONY & JEFF: Ugh [pause]
The clicking comes back in JEFF’s Headphones. Jeff starts
to immediately decipher the code.
TONY: BLAH BLAH BLAH are you even listening
JEFF: SHHHH.
TONY: HEY!
JEFF: SSHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
TONY: Don’t you shush mee!!
JEFF: WAIT WAIT WAIT, [wait] What?
JEFF takes off the headphones.
JEFF: No, that can’t be.
TONY: Did you find something.
JEFF: Sadly, yes.
TONY: WHHHHAAAAT?
Jeff is at the computer decrypting the message.
TONY: Hello my name is Paula; I am being held captive
against my will?
JEFF: Okey
TONY: You getting this distress signal through PSI.
JEFF: PSI!! That’s impossible! Unless! This Paula is
actually a…
TONY: NO SHE IS NOT ALIEN!
JEFF: You don’t know that!
TONY: I think the computer has found something much more
interesting.
Jeff: Yeah Numbers, what about em.
TONY: Yeah they are numbers, but what for. I mean what you
do If you were trapped somewhere.
JEFF: That’s it they’re coordinates. Thanks, TONY
39
TONY: I try.
Jeff writes them down.
TONY: Wait there is one more. Also, the fate of the
universe depends on it.
JEFF: Bloooody Hell Tony!!
TONY: Hey watch it, this is a kid’s movie.
JEFF: I’ll show, I’ll show em all who is the greatest
smartest hero ever.
TONY: Here we go again.
Switches to stylish day dream.
JEFF is Muscly and cool. Paula is play by VENUS the singer
later in the story.
You must be PAULA, let’s get married.
Thousands of people cheer.
An eagle jumps from the sky.
EAGLE: Hello I am an EAGLE. Here is the Nobel peace prize.
Dream ends.
TONY: Is this really a kids movie I mean we are kind of
stretching it at this point.
JEFF: I must go! I WILL leave this retched school!!
TONY is sad now. JEFF is packing his bags.
TONY: Um JEFF. There’s something I need to tell you.
JEFF: Yeeees Tony?
TONY: I- I – I’m going to help you escape!!!
JEFF: Thanks, man, I am glad you could help.
They are outside the school.
TONY: I guess this is it. [they are at the gate]
JEFF: The gates too tall for me to climb. [pause]
TONY: JEFF, I’m going to give you a boost.
40
JEFF: Okey
TONY pushes JEFF up the fence. JEFF is on the other side.
TONY IS stuck on the other side. A flash soon points in the
direction of Tony.
TONY: JEFF RUN GO WITHOUT JUST RUN!!
Some guards are going after TONY.
TONY: RUUN!!
JEFF runs into the forest. He is running through it now.
Soon he hits his face on a branch and becomes unconscious.
Switches to Onett Police station early morning. Ness’s mom
is talking to a police officer.
Ness’s Mom: