© samantha bennett 2009


Hello! And welcome to the Get It Done Home Study Kit (aka the Overcoming Procrastination Toolkit). I want to sincerely congratulate you for making this investment in yourself, your life and your art. It’s a big leap from, “Yeah, I should look into that sometime,” and actually purchasing the darn thing, so I really want to acknowledge both your good effort and your faith in me. I’m honored. The worksheets herein are, obviously, created to accompany the recordings. Some of the worksheets have enough written explanation that you can probably just figure them out for yourself, and a few have whole articles attached, but some don’t because for whatever reason I think it’s important that I talk you through them. Plus, listening to the recordings is fun. Feel free to use (and re-use) the exercises you love and to ignore – or better yet reinvent – the ones you don’t. Please contact me with any questions, comments, suggestions, thoughts or success stories. I love hearing from you.

Yours,

Samantha Bennett, Creator

The Organized Artist Company [email protected]


Session One: Clarifying Your Goals, or, What To Do

When You Have 37 Projects In Mind And You Can’t

Decide

- Suggestions for Success (article)

- Mission Statement and Agreements

- Ten Nice Things

- The Pure Preference Worksheet

- The Naming and Claiming (article and worksheet)


Suggestions for Success with

Your Get It Done Home Study Kit First of all, there is no way to screw this up.

This is not school. There are no rules and no grades and no way to do “better” or

“worse” in this process. This is your life. You are the expert on you and you will

automatically do whatʼs “best” and moreover, whatʼs right, for you.

My mission with this Toolkit is to give you some support and inspiration around the

projects that mean the most to you and, more importantly, give you an opportunity

to take a good, long, compassionate look at your own creative process so you can

figure out whatʼs working, what can be jettisoned and how to best get out of your

own way so your Big, Genius-y Ideas can get out into the world where they belong.

That being said, I do have a few tips that will help you get the most out of this

process. And you might want to try them, if only to help you figure out what doesnʼt

work for you.

1) Allot 15 Minutes Per Day To Your Project

Plunging into your day knowing that youʼve already made even a little bit of

progress on the work that is dearest to your heart will improve your whole world.

If I could actually make you do stuff, this is the number one thing I would enforce.

As it happens, you are the agent of change in this relationship and I canʼt make you

do anything. But I strongly urge you to set aside 15 minutes per day for your

project. Itʼs amazing how much work you can get done in 15 minutes. Itʼs even


more amazing how much progress you can make if you put in 15 minutes a day,

seven days a week. Try it. Youʼll see.

Let me put it this way: my clients who do the daily 15 minutes see astonishing,

mind-blowing results, usually accompanied by a few miracles. My clients who donʼt

do the daily 15 minutes...well, some of them have amazing results and some donʼt.

How you spend these 15 minutes is entirely up to you, of course. I recommend

that you make a list of possible 15 minute tasks, some easy, like daydreaming;

some fun, like brainstorming titles; some tedious, like database updating; some

requiring courage, like a phone call to an important person. With that list at hand,

you can select a task for each day that suits your mood.

Finally, I strongly recommend that you allot these 15 minutes in the morning,

before you check your email or go online at all. It takes an iron will to resist the

siren call of the Internet, but itʼs worth it. Whateverʼs out there can wait for you to

put yourself first for just these few minutes.

2) Find An Idea Catcher Paying attention to your creativity causes increased creativity.

You are a genius and you are having a lot of really good ideas every day. But

chances are, youʼre not writing them down. And the half-life of an unrecorded idea

is…well, itʼs pretty short. So find a system that works for you (I like index cards,

but other people like notebooks, voice memos, journals, calling their own phone

and leaving a message, Post-Its, etc.) and use it every day.


Then you need to create a home for these great ideas. (This is my number one

organizational tip: everything needs the right-sized home.) I suggest creating a file,

folder or envelope, labeling it “Genius” and at the end of each day, put your ideas in

there. They will nest and grow and turn into something fabulous.

3) Allot 15 Minutes A Day For Some Very Dull “Exercise” A body in motion puts the mind in motion.

Thatʼs right – I want you to do some simple, repetitive motion for 15 minutes per

day, every day. But itʼs not to get fit or to lose weight or to lower your blood

pressure – itʼs to enhance your creativity. So find some simple, repetitive exercise

that you donʼt hate (walking, running, swimming, calisthenics, dancing, jump rope;

if your range of motion is impaired, you can knit, toss cards into a hat, chop

vegetables, fold laundry, sort paper…even going for a drive can be good) and find

time for it every single day.

Any repetitive task tends to occupy the left (logical) brain just enough for the right

(creative) brain to flower. Thatʼs why you always have such great ideas in the

shower, or while youʼre out walking the dog. So letʼs cultivate that.

I think itʼs important to make the “every day” commitment in order to automate your

decision-making and free yourself up from the internal debate that sounds like,

“Should I walk today? I walked yesterday. But I might not walk tomorrow. And it

might rain. Iʼm sort of tired…” That kind of circular, inside-your-head conversation

is just a big energy drain.

Tell yourself youʼre going to do it every day (and you donʼt have to do it well – half-

hearted efforts count just as much as a full-on attack) and then do it. No excuses.


And let me reiterate: this is NOT for your health. It is for your creativity and your

creativity alone.

Here are a few more suggestions: - Get a notebook in which to keep all these worksheets and stuff

- Fill out your Weekly Project Tracking Sheet before you listen to the weekʼs

recording

- Keep a doodle pad & magic markers handy while listening to the recordings

- Get a kitchen timer - one you like - so you can track your daily 15 minutes

- Keep a running list of all the compliments you receive

And most of all, be proud of yourself for taking this action towards a fuller, richer,

more creatively fulfilling life.

Thank you for undertaking this process. You are good and brave.


MISSION STATEMENT The Organized Artist Company exists to provide a secure, structured, goal-oriented environment for artists. We seek to facilitate growth, enrichment and achievement in all areas of the artistʼs life.

AGREEMENTS I agree to graciously accept success, love, health, prosperity and overall well-being for the greater good of all concerned. I agree to honor the confidentiality of the group. I agree to honor all commitments of time, money and other resources. I understand that there are no excused absences. I understand that extra help is available for an additional fee. I agree to maintain an openhearted and supportive attitude towards my colleagues and towards my own self, and to do my part to create an atmosphere that is positively charged for success. Agreed: _____________________________________ Date: _______________________________________


NOTES:


TEN NICE THINGS

Ten Really, Really, Really Nice Things About Me This is not a trick question. Just quickly – without pondering – write down ten things about you that are nice. Maybe you have good posture or cute shoes or a wicked backhand or a great sense of humor or youʼre a very safe driver or...

1. ___________________________________________________________________

2. ___________________________________________________________________

3. ___________________________________________________________________

4. ___________________________________________________________________

5. ___________________________________________________________________

6. ___________________________________________________________________

7. ___________________________________________________________________

8. ___________________________________________________________________

9. ___________________________________________________________________

10. ___________________________________________________________________

Ten Successes/Wins/Blessings That Have Happened In The Past 12 Months Again, work swiftly. These could be ten things that you made happen, or just nice things that happened in your world. No victory is too small, no event too big.

1. ___________________________________________________________________

2. ___________________________________________________________________

3. ___________________________________________________________________

4. ___________________________________________________________________

5. ___________________________________________________________________

6. ___________________________________________________________________

7. ___________________________________________________________________

8. ___________________________________________________________________

9. ___________________________________________________________________

10. ___________________________________________________________________

These lists can serve as the beginnings of a daily gratitude practice or just as an occasional pick-me-up. They are also great conversation starters, Facebook postings, elements in a personals ad, etc. Notes:


NOTES:


PURE PREFERENCE WORKSHEET This worksheet is designed to help you hear what your heart and gut are telling you, quite apart from whatʼs “realistic,” “practical” or what you “should” do.

STEP ONE: Listing Your Options List your options. Assume all factors are equal. For example, if you are deciding between jobs, assume they each pay oodles of money, are an easy commute, work with great people, etc., even if thatʼs not “realistic.” Weʼre not concerned with practicalities; weʼre just trying to discern what, all things being equal, you prefer.

1) ___________________________________________________________________

2) ___________________________________________________________________

3) ___________________________________________________________________

4) ___________________________________________________________________

5) ___________________________________________________________________

STEP TWO: Ranking Your Options Ask yourself, “Between choices 1 and 2, which do I truly prefer?” and circle your preference at Line A, below. Continue to Line B, asking, “Between 1 and 3, which do I prefer? And between 2 and 3, which do I prefer?” Circle your preference each time. Keep going until all choices have been ranked against one another. A) 1 / 2 B) 1 / 3 2 / 3 C) 1 / 4 2 / 4 3 / 4 D) 1 / 5 2 / 5 3 / 5 4 / 5

STEP THREE: Scoring Your Options Count how many times each number is circled. Remember to count both down and across. 1 = 2 = 3 = 4 = 5 =

STEP FOUR: Results What do you notice about your results? Is there something on the list that got zero votes? What information do you have now that you didnʼt have before?


NOTES:


Naming Where You Are And Claiming Where Youʼre At This article walks you through how to fill out the “Naming and Claiming” Worksheet. It should be pretty close to the information on the recording, but sometimes itʼs nice to read instead of, or in addition to, listening.

You may already have a project idea in mind, or maybe not. Or maybe your project

idea is to create a project idea. Either way is OK.

First off, letʼs take a look at the circumstances that are causing you to think that

maybe a project would be a good idea with the “Naming And Claiming” Worksheet.

Because you canʼt get anywhere until you know where you are.

This exercise has a bunch of parts to it, so I advise doing one segment at a time,

and donʼt skip ahead, or you might get sort of confused.

The first line of the worksheet asks you to answer the question, “Right Now I Feel

___________.” So, without pondering, just write down the word that describes how

you feel right now, as you contemplate starting this process. Do you feel excited?

Nervous? Happy? Discouraged? Terrified? Giggly? On Fire? About to jump off

the high dive?

I encourage you to be completely honest here – thereʼs no reason that the feeling

youʼre having ought to be a “good” feeling. And if you are feeling some trepidation

or anxiety, well, fine. Letʼs haul that monster out from underneath the bed and call

it by its name. No sense pretending you feel all chipper and yippee-skippy if you donʼt.


The other reason to be honest is because itʼs possible that as you look at this word

youʼve written, you may realize that this is a feeling you often have when you are

beginning something new. So in the same way that performers feel “butterflies”

and immediately think to themselves, “Wait a minute, Iʼm not nervous, Iʼm just

about to go on stage and I always feel this way before I go on stage” and thereby

are able to transform the feeling into energy (rather than fear) so you, too, may be

able to realize that this feeling you have is merely your bodyʼs signal that it knows

something new is coming down the pike.

And while weʼre on the subject of stage fright, letʼs just straighten one thing out

once and for all: performers get stage fright. People sometimes say things like,

“Oh, you performers, you just love the spotlight!” Implying that performers are

some kind of ego freaks.

Now, some performers are ego freaks. But some dentists are ego freaks, too.

Most of the performers I know are, at heart, tremendously shy. But since according

to The Book Of Lists, “fear of public speaking” is ranked number one and “fear of

death” ranks number seven, the average person assumes that anyone crazy

enough to go in front of a crowd voluntarily must not feel any fear. Or, perhaps

they must have some pathalogical need for recognition and applause.

To the contrary!

Performers feel the exact same “fight or flight” reaction we all do when facing a

crowd: the blood rushes to the internal organs so your hands and feet get cold,

your breathing gets shallow, you feel like you have to pee and you wish for all the


world that you could just disappear. But performing artists have one secret

advantage: a compulsion to share the story. Whether through theatre or dance or

storytelling, the drive to share the story overrides the “butterflies” and eventually,

the seasoned performer learns to look forward to that rush of energy that occurs

while standing in the wings.

Artists are not addicted to applause. Weʼre addicted to telling the story.

OK, back to the business at hand. The next line of the worksheet asks you to

describe, in just a few words, what your current situation is. For example, letʼs say

youʼre considering a project goal called “lose ten pounds.” The current situation

thatʼs causing you to consider that goal might be: clothes donʼt fit, feel sluggish,

donʼt feel sexy. Bottom line it. You donʼt need to write down the whole story – in

fact, Iʼd prefer that you didnʼt. Just write down a few of the prevailing conditions.

The next line asks “What You Want To Keep.” By which I mean, what aspect of

this current situation do you honestly want to hang on to?

For example, you may hate being unemployed, but you love not having to get up in

the morning. Filling in this line might lead you to realize that you would love to find

a job that didnʼt start until after 12noon. Or, to go back to our “lose ten pounds”

person, perhaps you hate feeling overweight, but you love baking treats for your

sweetie. This line might inspire you to bake delicious healthy treats for your

sweetie.


Maybe you hate your full time job but want to keep your sense of security, or youʼre

tired of writing alone, but you love your ability to work in your pajamas. Any little

thing or big thing is fine. Sometimes we donʼt make a change in our life because weʼre afraid that if we do, everything might change. This line helps

you figure out what you prefer not change, and then you can construct your goal

with that in mind.

As I will remind you plenty of times, you cannot screw this up. There is no “right”

way to complete these exercises; there is only your way.

Now write down one idea of what your project goal might be on the next line. And

you arenʼt making a commitment yet – you may well change your mind, in fact

youʼll probably change your mind before youʼre done here – so feel free to

experiment, make a guess, take a flyer.

On the next three “So That” lines, I want you to write down three things you think

might happen as a result of your completing the project goal you just recorded.

They can be three sequential things:

My Goal Might Be: to audition for a play

So That: I get cast

So That: I get noticed by an agent

So That: I become a huge international movie star and live in a mansion


Notice that these “So Thats” do not need to particularly realistic. I donʼt care

about realism right now.

Or your “So Thats” might be three concurrent, simultaneous things:

My Goal Might Be: to clean my apartment

So That: I can concentrate on my work

So That: I can invite people over whenever I want

So That: I can find my socks in the morning

The next line is a bit of a mind-bender. I want you to write down your “Opposite

Goal.” That is to say, I want you to write down the exact opposite of what

youʼd like to have happen. The “Bizarro World” version. So if your goal is to lose

ten pounds, your “Opposite Goal” might be to stay the same weight, or even to gain

another ten pounds. If your goal is to audition for a play, your “Opposite Goal”

might be to never act again.

I know – it seems a little silly. But Neuro-Linguistic Programming teaches us that

people are motivated both “toward” and “away from.” To be “motivated toward” is

how most creative people are: you see a vision in your mind of something that

doesnʼt exist yet and you work to make it come true. But many are also “motivated

away from”: you see a vision of what you donʼt want, and work to make it not come

true. In other words, you see a vision of yourself ten pounds thinner and you work

to make it come true; you see a vision of yourself suffering from obesity, heart

disease and diabetes and work to make that not come true. (Lawyers and housing

inspectors tend to be “motivated away from” people, and thank goodness for that.)


Since we all have at least a little bit of each kind of motivation, it pays to give a name to that which you are fleeing.

And now you are to write three more “So Thats,” but these are three consequences

of your “Opposite Goal.”

For example:

Opposite Goal: to never act again

So That: I never express myself creatively

So That: I spend all my days stuck in a cubicle dying under fluorescent lights

So That: I end up lonely and alone in a house with thirteen cats

Or maybe:

Opposite Goal: to gain another ten pounds

So That: I end up with heart disease

So That: I have to buy a whole new wardrobe

So That: I end up lonely and alone in a house with thirteen cats

Go ahead and exaggerate. Be a little silly. Again, Iʼd rather call those monsters by their right names than pretend theyʼre not there.

Great job so far. Youʼre doing really well. Pat yourself on the back again.


Now, this next part is about values. And itʼs sort of a sneaky way to figure out what

your own personal values are. Iʼve found that if you just straight-out ask someone

what their values are, they are likely to say things like, “health, family, friendship…”

And those things are certainly valuable. But theyʼre a bit generic.

Iʼm looking for the values that truly motivate you and really get you fired up. Or as

my client Laura put it, “I work out, and I could tell you itʼs because I value my

health, but itʼs not really for my health. I work out because of my vanity!” And

sheʼs right – vanity is an excellent value and a highly motivating one. So is

money. As is the desire to share your work, shine your light and be seen by

important people.

I want you to go through your worksheet and extract any words that reflect a

“positive” value. If you look at the example on the next page, you can see the

words highlighted in yellow are then listed at the bottom – and they got transposed

into the form of a value, if necessary. So the word “excited” gets written down as a

value of “excitement” and the word “fit” gets written down as a value of “good fit.”

The words highlighted in blue represent “negative” values, so you just need to flip

them around to determine the value they represent. In other words, if you wrote

down words like poverty, failure and loss, those might get recorded as values of

prosperity, success and winning. And you might have to fudge around with them a

bit – thatʼs OK, this isnʼt an exact science. As you can see on our example sheet,

“nervous” got written down as a value of “calm,” “sluggish” become “energized” and

a little further down, “have to buy” reflects a value of “thriftiness.”


You might want to keep playing around with this list of values, and add to it as new

ideas occur to you. These unique-to-you values will be your inspiration when you feel dried up, and they will give you courage when you feel weak. These

values are what will motivate you to pick up the phone and call an important

person, or to make a bold move you might otherwise shy away from.

Great. Almost done. Just make a few quick notes about anything youʼve noticed

while doing this work – anything you want to make sure you remember – and call it

a day.


NAMING AND CLAIMING

Right Now I Feel: ___nervous, excited____________________

The Situation Is: clothes don’t fit, feel sluggish, dont feel sexy ____________

What I Want To Keep: ____making delicious treats for my sweetie__

My Goal Might Be: ____to lose ten pounds_____________________

So That:__I like myself_______________________________ So That: ___I can feel strong and healthy_____________

So That: _I feel more confident & can ask for a raise____

Opposite Goal: ____gain ten more pounds_______________________

So That: ____I get heart disease___________________ So That: ____I have to buy a whole new wardrobe_______ So That: _I end up alone and lonely in a house with 13 cats_

Values: excitement, good fit, sex appeal, delicious treats, my sweetie, self-love, strength, health, confidence, asking and receiving, money, wardrobe and looking good, calm, energized, good heart, thriftiness, friends, companionship and community

Hereʼs What I Notice About This: _______________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________


NAMING AND CLAIMING

Right Now I Feel:____________________________________________________

The Situation Is: _____________________________________________________________

What I Want To Keep: ________________________________________________________

My Goal Might Be: ___________________________________________________________

So That: ___________________________________________________

So That: ___________________________________________________

So That: ___________________________________________________

Opposite Goal: ______________________________________________________________

So That: ___________________________________________________

So That: ___________________________________________________

So That: ___________________________________________________

Values: ____________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________

Hereʼs What I Notice About This: _______________________________________________


Session Two: Creating Your Personalized Project

Plan, or, Budgeting And Scheduling The FUN,

Creative Way...(Kind Of...)

- Project Calendar

- Project Mind Map

- Weekly Project Tracking

- The Indispensable “Feeling Overwhelmed” Prioritization

Worksheet

- How To Do Your To-Do List (article)

- Your Inaugural Statement


YOUR PROJECT CALENDAR

This sample calendar is reverse-engineered. In other words, we started at the end, first writing down the result we want on the day we would like to be complete and then we scheduled backwards from there. Notice that there is only one or two tasks per day, that there are “catch-up” days and that there are other people being consulted throughout the project.


NOTES:


YOUR PROJECTʼS MIND MAP (Demonstration Version)

Mind Maps are a fun way to break free of the tyranny of lists and visualize your project in a new way. Feel free to adapt this any which way – use images and shapes in whatever way appeals to you.


NOTES:


YOUR PROJECTʼS MIND MAP Have fun filling this out – think of it as an exploration and an experiment rather than a final product. Let your natural creativity assist you in your planning.


NOTES:


WEEKLY PROJECT TRACKING

Completed Last Week:

1. ________________________________

2. ________________________________

3. ________________________________

4. ________________________________

5. ________________________________

What Do I Know Now That I Didnʼt Know

Then?

__________________________________

__________________________________

__________________________________

__________________________________

__________________________________

The “Critical, Rational” Voice Tells Me:

__________________________________

__________________________________

But My Inner Wisdom Says:

__________________________________

__________________________________

To Do This Week:

1. ________________________________

2. ________________________________

3. ________________________________

NOTES:


NOTES:


THE INDISPENSABLE “FEELING OVERWHELMED” PRIORITIZATION WORKSHEET

First, list everything on your “Could-Do” list under “Item/Task.” Any order is fine. Then next to each item note: 1) itʼs deadline, if any 2) approximately how much time you estimate the task will take (over-estimate by at least 10%) 3) how much money completing this item will take (if any) 4) the relative “urgency” of the task 5) the relative “importance” of your task (how much will this matter 3 years from now?) 6) your estimated Return On Investment (make a guess about how much you might benefit in the future from completing this task and score it on a scale from 1 -10) and then, finally, 7) do a “gut check” and rank your level of inclination (how much do you really want to do this task right now?)

Use this information to prioritize, eliminate meaningless “shadow goals” and keep yourself on track.

ITEM/TASK DEAD-LINE

EST. TIME TO

COMPLETE

EXPENSE URGENCY (Scale of 1-10)

IMPORTANCE (Scale of 1-10)

ROI (Scale of 1-10)

INCLINATION (Scale of 1-10)

NOTES


NOTES:


HOW TO DO YOUR TO-DO LIST

Here’s a little article about the previous worksheet. As you can see, I’ve continued

to add to the sheet, but the general principles remain the same.

I come from a long line of list-makers.

I’m a list-maker, my mother is a list-maker, my grandmother and great-

grandmother were list-makers... (We’re also a bunch of do-gooders, get-‘er-done-

ers and eyebrow-cocking-know-it-alls, but that’s another article entirely.)

The nice thing about making a list is that I get the to-do chatter out of my head

and on to a piece of paper. But there’s no way to prioritize. There’s no indication

of how important anything is relative to anything else, how much time each task

might take, and there’s no good way to determine the order in which I ought to

attack the list.

And when one is an artist/entrepreneur like you and me, one usually has a bunch

of pretty big projects going on at once, and so looking at that long,

undifferentiated list of apparently urgent and/or important actions makes me feel

tired. Also overwhelmed and overworked – even before I’ve actually done

anything.

And I know there’s some conventional wisdom out there that says You Should

Just Focus On One Thing. I say: Hooey. People who like to focus on one thing

should focus on one thing, and those of us who like to have lots of things going on

should have lots of things going on. (Although I notice that “lots” like 3-5 projects

rather than “lots” like 8-12 projects is often the better part of valor.)


Here is the story about a way to make lists that is both practical and heart-

centered, and the positive effect this system has had on my life, and

subsequently, on the lives of my clients.

One year, just before Christmas, I found myself with an extremely long to-do list

(you know how the holidays are) and I was feeling that exhausted-before-I-even-

begin feeling.

The number one item on my list was “Make and Send Christmas Cards” which

was something I had proudly done for years. Everybody I knew got a Christmas

card with a personal hand-written note – always. I loved the tradition of it, I loved

letting people know that I was thinking of them and I loved the little feeling of

superiority that I felt sneak up on me when I thought about how much time and

care I always took at this busy time of year. I’ll note that this superiority-thing is

not my favorite thing about myself, but it’s important to realize how big a

motivator one’s vanity can be. And I was quite vain about my Christmas Cards.

Adding to the pressure was this: that year I had gotten divorced. So not only had

I moved and changed address, but also there were a number of people I felt I

might “lose” in the divorce if I didn’t reach out to them. Finally, I felt it was

important to reassure people that even though I was no longer married to the man

I had been with for nearly 15 years, I was still me, and I could still be counted on

to do all the things I had always done. Even though I wasn’t entirely sure that was

true.

And Christmas Cards were just one of the complicated things on my long, long,

loooooong list of things that had to be done before December 25th. Clearly, I

needed to prioritize.


So I took a sheet of paper and with a big blue marker I made four columns with

grid lines going across. The first column I labeled “ITEM/TASK,” and under that

heading I listed all the bits and pieces of things I felt I needed to do. Every last

little one I could think of. The first one was “Christmas Cards” and the rest of the

list filled two pages.

The next column I labeled “TIME,” so next to each item I estimated how much

time each task might take. “Call my sister” was 10 minutes. “Finish baby gift”

was about an hour. “Pay bills” got 45 minutes. If I didn’t know how long

something might take, I just made a wild guess or I put a “?” next to it and moved

on.

“Christmas Cards” got 12.5 hours. Which seems impossible, I know, but I figured

out that if I sent 150 cards and each card took five minutes to write a note,

address, stamp and send, then that was 750 minutes, or, 12.5 hours. And that

was assuming that I only sent 150 cards.

The third column I labeled “EXPENSE,” and there I listed how much money, if any,

was required to complete the item. “Call my sister” got zero, since we’re on the

same cell phone plan. “Finish baby gift” was also a zero, because I’d already

bought the supplies. “Pay bills” got $1200, because as far as I could remember,

that was about what was due. “Christmas Cards” got…$130. That’s 150 stamps

at 33 cents each (this was some years ago) equals $49.50 and the cards

themselves would probably cost $80 or so. Most nice boxed holiday cards run

about a dollar or so apiece, but I had a great little discount store near my house

that sold beautiful cards for roughly half-price. Now $130 isn’t a fortune, but at

the time, it represented a significant investment for me.


The final column I labeled “INCLINATION.” That column wasn’t for facts like time

or money: it was for feeling. On a scale of 1-10, how much did I really feel like

doing the project?

It was the gut-check that I often forgot to do.

And when I neglected that gut-check, I ended up with my plate piled high with

obligations to other people that left me tired, stressed out and with very little time

for the things in my life that were important to me.

So “Call my sister” got a 9 – I love talking to her. “Finish baby gift” got a 7 – the

little sock monkey I was making was really darling and I was excited to finish it.

“Pay bills” got a 10 – I’ve actually never minded paying bills, even when I’ve been

broke, and I’d much rather get in there and know that they’re done and taken care

of than have them floating around, gathering late fees and causing trouble. (I told

you I was a get-‘er-done-r.)

“Christmas Cards.” I took a deep breath. How much did I really want to send

cards? Setting aside my guilt, my fear that I would lose friends, my concern that I

would lose my standing as a “good girl,” my sense of tradition, my vanity…how

much did I want to do it?

Zero.

That’s right – I had absolutely no inclination at all to send even one card.

And then, in what was possibly the single most radical action of my adult life, I

crossed “Christmas Cards” off the list.


My little worksheet helped me determine that not only was sending cards time-

consuming and pricey, I just plain didn’t want to. So I crossed it off my list. I felt

strange and liberated and free and a bit like a “bad girl” and it made me laugh and

laugh. After all, any friends that I might lose because of a silly Christmas card

probably weren’t friends worth keeping anyway. I had gotten the mandate from

my deep inner self and it said, “NO CARDS, BABY”

One final word about that Christmas season: Eventually, I started to feel some

twinges about a few of the people that I discovered I really did want to send cards

to… my favorite aunt, a girlhood friend, an old neighbor of mine. But I was so

enraptured by my “No Christmas Cards” policy that I dared not break it. See, I

know me – I’d go to the store to buy just those few cards and my resolve would

crumble and I’d end up doing the whole damn thing after all. So six weeks later, I

handmade some lovely Valentine’s Day cards and sent them off. Why? Because

it wasn’t that expensive, it was only a little time-consuming, and I really, really

wanted to do it.

(I tell this story in my Get It Done Workshop, and last year one of my clients, a

mid-twenties actress with a staunch spirit, got inspired and sent some heartfelt

Valentine’s cards to some of the teachers, casting directors and producers she

had come to know and care for. I believe she got three separate phone calls,

thanking her. Now that’s good marketing – honest communication that comes

straight from the heart.)

In time, I added one more column to my list: “ROI” which stands for “Return On

Investment.” That’s a way of determining (and again, I just guess on a scale of 1-

10) what, or how much, I might get back from completing that item.


For example, few months ago I had a to-do item that had been hanging around

my desk for a few weeks – it was silly, really – I had found a product in a

catalogue that I thought a client of mine might like. I had thought that I would just

slip the clipping in an envelope with a quick note, but I just hadn’t gotten around

to it.

When I worked the list, it came up like this:

ITEM/TASK TIME EXPENSE INCLINATION ROI

Send Clipping To D.G.

2 minutes

.44 cents

10

10

Wait just a dip-dang minute.

This was something I really wanted to do, that I thought would really pay off in the

future, that cost almost no time and no money. Duh. I did it right that second, got

it in the mail that day and she called me three days later to book me for another

ten sessions. That little “to-do” item netted me over a thousand dollars, but more

than that, it helped me be the person I want to be – the kind of person who sends

thoughtful little notes to clients that I like.

Again – good marketing is honest communication that comes straight from the

heart.

This worksheet is not something I use every day, but I do use it when my list feels

long, unwieldy and confusing. Whenever I use it I discover something new, and I

find it helps me remember why some things are important and some things,

darling, just aren’t.


MY INAUGURAL STATEMENT As always, work right off the top of your head and donʼt second-guess yourself.

The lesson from the past eight years has been:

_______________________________________________________________

And today I inaugurate a new era of:

_______________________________________________________________

The hallmarks of which are:

_______________________________________________________________

And I give thanks for:

_______________________________________________________________

And I know that with the help of my friends, both seen and unseen:

YES WE CAN!


NOTES:


Session Three: Looking Under The Rock, or,

Breaking Through Internal Barriers To Success


- How Many Kinds of Artist Are You?

- All The Time In The World

- The Hallmarks Of Joyful Ease

- Looking Under The Rock

- Bonus Recording: Bouncing Back From

Disappointment (Three Strategies to REALLY Get

Over It)




1. ________________________________

2. ________________________________

3. ________________________________

4. ________________________________

5. ________________________________

What Do I Know Now

That I Didnʼt Know Then?

__________________________________

__________________________________

__________________________________

__________________________________

__________________________________


__________________________________

__________________________________


__________________________________

__________________________________

To Do This Week:

1. ________________________________

2. ________________________________

3. ________________________________

NOTES:


NOTES:


HOW MANY KINDS OF ARTIST ARE YOU?

Creative Activity

Me, Too/Makes Me Think Of....

Acro-Yoga Actress Acupuncturist ADR (Additional Dialogue Recording)

Agenda Planning All Things Mac Lover :D Alphabetized Animal Husbandry Animation Assembling Things Awesome Salad Maker Baking Bargain-Hunting Beadwork Bear Hugger Big Picture Thinker Biking In La Bodhran (Irish Drum) Bomb Diggidy Smoothie Maker ;) Boot Camp Sergeant Building Junk Buying Presents Cake Decorating Calculated Risk-Taker Calligraphy Camerawork Care Giver Cartoons Chameleon Choreography Clothing Design Coffee-Making Complimenting Others Creative Listener


Creative Space-Maker (For The Art Of Others)

Crochet Cyclone of Activity Dance - Boogie-Oogie-Oogie Dance - Ballet Dance - Modern Dancer Decoupage Detail Designer (The Devil Is In The Details)

Doll-Maker Doodling Dream-Board Maker Driving In LA Drumming Editor Emote - er Empathic Encourager Entrepreneur Event Planning Expressing Myself Honestly Without Being Cruel

Facebook Status Reports Fashion Fashionista Faux Painting Film Critic Filmmaking Finds Order In Chaos If It Kills Me Fix-It Expert Flute Flutist Foley Foley Artist Footwear Design Furniture-Making Gardening Gift Wrapping


Go-To-The-Mat Person Grant-Writing Graphic Designer Guitar - Electric Guitar - Folk/Acoustic Gunsmith Handmade Cards For Prisoners Home Cooking Home Decorating Honest About Self (With Wit, Sometimes)

Horse Back Rider Idea Man Improviser Information Sharing Interior Design Internet Marketer Invoke - Er Jewelry Making Joke Writing Kissing Life Coaching Lighting Designer Listener & Advice-Giver Logistics Long Car Trips Love Notes Lover Lucid Dreamer Make Others Comfortable With Themselves

Make-Up Making Fairy Houses Marketing Concept Designer Masseuse Mediator Mind-Body-Soul Coach Motivational Speaker Music Producer - Stage And Studio Needlework - Crochet


Needlework - Embroidery Needlework - Hand-Sew Needlework - Knit Needlework - Needlepoint Networker Nurse Ocarina Organizing Paint-By-Numbers Painter Party-Throwing Personal Trainer Philosopher Photography Piano - Rudimentary Playwright Poet – Limerick Poet Of The Obscene Poet – Romantic Poetry Politician In Hiding Posters Producing Public Speaking Pull Business Concepts Out Of My Ass (Entrepreneur?)

Quad Rider Raw Food Juicer Raw Food Wanna Be Reading Reading Aloud Reading To Oneself Reciting Recorder Recovery Specialist Roller Blader Roller Skater Sales Saying “No” Scabbard-Making


Scenic Design Scrapbooking Screenwriting Script Coverage Sculpey Set Design Sewing Shopping Show Producer - Multiple Genres Shrinky-Dinks Silk Screen Singer Singing - Classical Music Singing - Gospel Snow Boarder Soap Making Social Media Personality ;) Software Design Spiritual Leader Stand-Up Comedy Staying In Touch Student Stunt Fighting/Stage Combat Stunts T-Shirt Design Talk To Animals Teacher Teaching Technology Geek Theatre - Avant-Garde Theatre - Classical Theatre - Clowning Theatre - Directing Theatre - Improvisation Theatre - Industrial/Business Theatre

Theatre - Mime Theatre - Musical Comedy Theatre - Shakespeare Theatre - Sketch Comedy


Throwing Theme Parties Tom Boy Toy-Making Traveler Tree Hugger Twitter-er Urban Living Vegan Backer Vegan Cook Video Blogger Video Games Vocalist Water Skier Web Designer Whitewater River Guide Woodcut Woodworking Wrapping Presents Writer Writing Meditations Yoga - Iyengar Yogie Youtuber

NOTES:


ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD

(Demonstration Version)

MON TUE WED THUR FRI SAT SUN

7am prayertime and tea and first emails

8am sweetie-

time!

church

9am record admin (website)

mastermind group call

swim swim

10am poems coach with Amy Ahlers

teach teach teach

11am here teach

12pm acupuncture swim

1pm

2pm swim

3pm

4pm private client teach private client

5pm coffee with Melanie

6pm teach

7pm

8pm dinner with sweetie

dinner with sweetie

improv dinner with sweetie

dinner with sweetie

9pm show


NOTES:


ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD Use this grid to block out your already-scheduled time and get a real picture of your “free” time.

Time

MON TUE WED THUR FRI SAT

SUN


NOTES:


THE HALLMARKS OF JOYFUL EASE This worksheet asks you to recall a joyful, “on top of the world” memory and some of the hallmarks, or distinguishing characteristics, of that moment. When you are done recording those hallmarks, let your creative brain have fun thinking of ways you might re-use that information on your current project. For example, remembering that your primary emotion was “felt rewarded” might inspire you to plan a nice reward treat for yourself, and noticing that your “friends were near” might inspire you to make your reward a coffee date with a friend.

TRIGGER QUESTION

HALLMARK

INSPIRATION

(a way I might use this now)

MY MEMORY WAS OF

THE SOURCE OF LIGHT

MY PRIMARY EMOTION

I WAS WEARING

I REMEMBER THINKING

THE FEELING IN MY BODY

WHO ELSE WAS THERE

WEATHER/TEMPERATURE

MY FEELING ABOUT THE FUTURE

WHAT, EXACTLY, MADE IT SO

SATISFYING?

I ALSO REMEMBER


NOTES:


LOOKING UNDER THE ROCK: TEN QUESTIONS

1. Whatʼs stopped me from succeeding before this?

2. Whatʼs my most likely gremlin/pitfall/self-sabotage?

3. If that pitfall were to occur, how might I choose to answer that?

4. Whatʼs my worst fear about this project in general?

5. Whatʼs my worst fear regarding the success of this project?

6. On a scale of 1–10, whatʼs the likelihood of that “success fear” happening?

7. If that “success fear” did happen, how might I choose to answer that?

8. What qualities do I possess that can really help me out in this process?

9. What is the TRUTH?

10. What question has not been asked that you need to answer?


NOTES:


Session Four: Truth In Advertising, or, How To Talk

About Your Work Honestly And Without Feeling

Like You’re Bragging


- My Heroes

- Get It Out There

- Five Nice Things




1. ________________________________

2. ________________________________

3. ________________________________

4. ________________________________

5. ________________________________

What Do I Know Now


__________________________________

__________________________________

__________________________________

__________________________________

__________________________________


__________________________________

__________________________________


__________________________________

__________________________________

To Do This Week:

1. ________________________________

2. ________________________________

3. ________________________________

NOTES:


NOTES:


MY HEROES

HERO FROM:

NAME

QUALITY

Your Own Field:

Literature, or Writer:

Business:

Fashion:

TV Character:

Film Character:

Cartoon Character:

Music:

Politics:

Cooking, or Food-Related:

Ancient History:

Modern History:

Myth:

Sports:


NOTES:


GET IT OUT THERE This is a very dense, action-packed worksheet designed to let your genius-y, creative self inform your marketing, networking and promotional efforts. I go through it pretty quickly on the recording, so I thought Iʼd break it down a bit more here.

Letʼs get one thing straight: nobody likes schmoozing. Even people who are good

at it donʼt like it and think it sounds icky. So letʼs first eliminate the following words

from our vocabulary: schmoozing, networking, pitching, selling, promoting,

elevator-speechifying, cold calling and any other word or phrase that makes you

feel bad about helping your work find itʼs right audience.

Because make no mistake, you do need to help your work find itʼs right audience.

You deserve it, your work deserves it and most of all, the world needs it.

OK – now, letʼs have some fun brainstorming.

1) What am I marketing right now? What is my “product”?

__________________________________________________________________

This is the most important question, and itʼs amazing how difficult it can be to

answer. Mostly because we all have a bunch of things going on and we hate to

feel like weʼre narrowing our options. After all, if we have the ability to write and act

and teach and quilt and sing opera, why would we just want to promote one thing?

Because you cannot chase two bunnies. Thatʼs why.


So for right now, I want you to get as specific as you can about which of your many

products and skills you want to focus on right now. You can always come back

and do this worksheet again and again for each different project, or for different

facets of your project.

2) Who is my Target Market? Whom do I want to reach? __________________________________________________________________

Imagine your end user. Imagine the person or people who could make the biggest

difference for you. And again – pick one. You might be thinking, “Well, I need to

meet agents and Iʼd like to get featured in that magazine and then thereʼs the

actual ticket-buying public...” And you can see how quickly a person can feel

overwhelmed and exhausted. So for now, just pick one person, group or audience

segment.

3) What are their demographics (age, education, income, mobility, etc.) and

psychographics (interests, activities, opinions)?

__________________________________________________________________

Sometimes this is where people realize that they need to do some research to find

out more about literary agents or composers or contemporary ballet fans.

Excellent! You can go ahead and do that now, or just put down what you do know

and keep going.

And if you are able to make a little pencil-portrait of your Target Marketʼs lifestyle,

that may spark some ideas about how to reach them. Maybe you realize that your

Target Market are thirty-something women and that most of them have kids. That


might inspire you to sponsor a school event, or to ask if you can put brochures in

the pediatricianʼs office.

(Remember – weʼre just brainstorming here. Donʼt rule anything out because it

seems too wacky, or because it frightens you in its boldness. You can go back and

refine and commit to your ideas later on.)

We donʼt want to ask chronically over-scheduled people (moms, doctors, casting

directors, etc) to read something long and complicated and we donʼt want to ask

quiet, thoughtful people (classics majors, some retirees, poets, etc) to respond to a

big red ticking “buy now!” count-down clock on our web page.

The more you know about your Target Market, the more easily you can help them

recognize for themselves how much they need what you have to offer.

4) What is my Call To Action? What do I want them to do?

__________________________________________________________________

Do you want them to join your mailing list? Do you want them to invest? To buy a

ticket? To tell a friend? To sample? To keep you on file? To introduce you to

their boss? To just become aware of your existence?

Being specific in your request makes life so much easier for your Target Market

and for you. And NOT having a specific Call To Action is a recipe for awkward

confusion. As one of my clients (an excellent fine art photographer) said, “No

wonder I hate meeting gallery owners! I never thought about what I wanted them

to DO!!!” Exactly.


Also, you generally only want to ask them to do ONE thing. When people are

presented with too many options they often feel confused and do nothing. So while

it may feel restrictive, itʼs actually much more productive (and profitable) to narrow

down your Call To Action.

5) What pain are they in? What nightmares do they have? What problems do they have?

__________________________________________________________________

This will be easy for you because you are so naturally empathetic: put yourself in

their shoes. What are they worried about? What troubles them? Imagine their day

and the pressures they face. This question alone will give you some wonderful

insights into how you might approach your Target Market.

6) How do I help solve or ease their problem?

__________________________________________________________________

Now weʼre really having fun – as you imagine your Target Market and the pain they

are in, how can you help them? Perhaps your paintings offer them an escape. Or

perhaps your lithographs help them feel as though they are on the cutting edge of

culture. You can help them emotionally, practically, socially, romantically,

physically, financially... thereʼs no limit to the ways you might be of service to them.

Your art is of service to them.


That feels better than “selling,” huh? You are not pushing anyone to do anything –

you canʼt. Nobody ever sold anybody anything. People do (and buy) whatever it is

they are going to do (and buy) exactly when they are ready to do it.

All you can do is try to be the one they think of when theyʼre ready.

You do that by giving out a clear, authentic and consistent message about who you

are and what you do. You try to make that message fun, or at least not offensive.

(Unless, of course, “offensive” is an important part of what you do – donʼt laugh –

lots of people make lots of money promoting that which is offensive. And donʼt be

too quick to judge - “offensive” is also often hilarious, boundary-pushing and

thrilling.)

So now letʼs take a look at how we might communicate that clear, authentic and

consistent message.

7) How could I appeal through the SENSES in order to convey/reinforce my

message? Sight: ____________________________________________________________

Sound: ___________________________________________________________

Touch: ___________________________________________________________

Taste: ____________________________________________________________

Smell: ____________________________________________________________

6th Sense = Intuition: ___________________________________________

Logic does not make our decisions for us. Our heart (gut, belly, instinct, emotion)

makes our decisions for us and then our logic finds reasons to justify that decision.


(This is not just my opinion – check out any and all of the most recent brain science

on what motivates people and how people make decisions. Itʼs fascinating stuff.)

So you canʼt convince people to do anything based on whatʼs logically the best

decision. You must speak to their heart, their belly and their intuition.

First, hold an image of your product (or your business or whatever) in your mind.

Then let your imagination run wild. What would your product be if it were a smell?

What sound evokes your product? If your product were a texture, how would it

feel? A smell?

For the 6th Sense = Intuition, you can just go ahead and make an intuitive leap, or

maybe youʼd prefer to think of a way you could appeal to your Target Marketʼs

intuition. For example, when Iʼm writing emails marketing a workshop, Iʼll often

throw in something like, “Are you getting a niggling feeling that this might be right

for you? Then go ahead and sign up...”

Reminding people that they can trust their own good judgment is a very honorable

way to offer up oneʼs work.

7) Features vs. Benefits

FEATURES (skill set, knowledge capital,

etc.)

BENEFITS (how does this help them?)


This goes back to the logic/heart issue as well as the “how do I ease their pain”

issue. As the creators, we are often very interested in the Features of a product

(itʼs made with lavender essence from France) and forget to focus on the Benefits to our Target Market (it smells yummy and relaxing).

Creating the list of Features should be pretty easy for you but then, once you write

down some of the things that you think make your work exciting, put yourself in your Target Marketʼs shoes. How does each Feature benefit them?

FEATURE = BENEFIT

it only takes 15 minutes = itʼs quick and easy

itʼs made with the lost-wax process = itʼs artisanal and unique

itʼs crafted from driftwood = itʼs eco-friendly and natural

Even your own Features can be translated into Benefits, which can come in handy

during job interviews and meet-and-greets. For example, the fact that you went to

an Ivy-League School might mean that you offer the Benefit of academic credibility,

or that youʼre a quick learner, or that you mingle well with the prosperous. The fact

that you like to go camping might translate to a Benefit of being adventuresome, resourceful and have a high tolerance for discomfort.


8) What is my budget? How much money am I willing/able to spend and in what time frame? __________________________________________________

Pretty self-explanatory, but often ignored. Be realistic with yourself about how

much you can and will allot to this particular marketing effort. Any budget

(including zero) can be worked with, but if your project is important enough to be

ready for the marketplace, then it probably deserves to have some money spent on it.

9) What is my time allowance? How much time am I willing/able to spend and over what time frame?___________________________________________

Again – be real with yourself and adjust your expectations accordingly.

You can see how saying something like: “I am going to spend $200 over the next

three weeks to contact six yoga studio owners and see if theyʼd like to sell my

wildly expensive handmade greeting cards created from the photographs I took in

India in their lobby or gift shop. I can use that budget to create a sample case that

is lined with pink silk, that smells faintly of Nag Champa and maybe I can print six

copies of that one gorgeous photo of the monk as a ʻthanks for meeting with meʼ gift.”

Is very, very different from, “I should really get my greeting cards out there more.”

10) Other considerations? (Financial or time constraints, prevailing conditions, etc.) ___________________________________________________


It may be that the timing isnʼt quite right, or that the current political climate is

unfavorable. Use this space to note any other elements that might affect your ability to Get It Out There.

11) Action Steps for This Week:

1) __________________________________________________________

2) __________________________________________________________

3) __________________________________________________________

Notice that there are THREE Action Steps. Not thirty and not three hundred. Set yourself up to succeed by managing your expectations of yourself.

Use this worksheet as a jumping-off point whenever you need to communicate

about your work. And if you find any of this particularly interesting I urge you to

read up on small-business ownership and marketing and how it works. There are a

lot of great books, blogs and articles out there that can help you prosper, and itʼs well worth educating yourself.


NOTES:


Date: _________________

GET IT OUT THERE

Work swiftly. Allow your creative brain to have fun filling this out, OK?

1) What am I marketing right now? What is my “product”?

__________________________________________________________________

2) Who is my Target Market? Whom do I want to reach?

__________________________________________________________________

3) What are their demographics (age, education, income, mobility, etc.) and

psychographics (interests, activities, opinions)?

__________________________________________________________________

4) What is my Call To Action? What do I want them to do?

__________________________________________________________________

5) What pain are they in? What nightmares do they have? What problems do they

have?

__________________________________________________________________

6) How do I help solve or ease their problem?

__________________________________________________________________

7) How could I appeal through the SENSES in order to convey/reinforce my

message?

Sight: _______________________________________________________

Sound: ______________________________________________________

Touch: ______________________________________________________

Taste: _______________________________________________________

Smell: _______________________________________________________

6th Sense = Intuition: ___________________________________________


7) Features vs. Benefits

FEATURES (skill set, knowledge capital,

unique qualities, etc.)

BENEFITS (how does this help them?)

8) What is my budget? How much money am I willing/able to spend and in what time frame? _____________________________________________________

9) What is my time allowance? How much time am I willing/able to spend and over what time frame?____________________________________________________

10) Other considerations? (Financial or time constraints, prevailing conditions, etc.) _____________________________________________________________

11) Action Steps for This Week:

1) __________________________________________________________

2) __________________________________________________________

3) __________________________________________________________

NOTES:


FIVE NICE THINGS

You know how to do this by now – just let your highest, best self fill this out.

Five Nice Things About My Mind

1. __________________________________________________________________

2. __________________________________________________________________

3. __________________________________________________________________

4. __________________________________________________________________

5. __________________________________________________________________

Five Nice Things About My Spirit

1. __________________________________________________________________

2. __________________________________________________________________

3. __________________________________________________________________

4. __________________________________________________________________

5. __________________________________________________________________

Five Nice Things About My Body

1. __________________________________________________________________

2. __________________________________________________________________

3. __________________________________________________________________

4. __________________________________________________________________

5. __________________________________________________________________

Five Nice Things I̓ d Love To Hear Somebody Say To Me

1. __________________________________________________________________

2. __________________________________________________________________

3. __________________________________________________________________

4. __________________________________________________________________

5. __________________________________________________________________


NOTES:


Week Five: Teaching Our Shadows Grace


- Teaching Our Shadows Grace

- Your Creative Twin

- Values-Based Decision Making Worksheet

- Incremental Life Improvements Worksheet

- It’s Who You Know




1. ________________________________

2. ________________________________

3. ________________________________

4. ________________________________

5. ________________________________

What Do I Know Now


__________________________________

__________________________________

__________________________________

__________________________________

__________________________________


__________________________________

__________________________________


__________________________________

__________________________________

To Do This Week:

1. ________________________________

2. ________________________________

3. ________________________________

NOTES:


NOTES:


TEACHING OUR SHADOWS GRACE There is a common phrase in the self-help world that says, “What you canʼt be with,

runs you.” Also sometimes expressed as, “What you resist persists.” In other

words, if you are afraid of being rude – if you canʼt even handle the idea that you

might be rude sometime – then the fear of rudeness will be making all of your

decisions for you. Put in slightly more concrete terms, if you are terrified of spiders,

then your whole life will be spent avoiding places that you think might contain

spiders. But if you have the ability to just be with spiders (even if you donʼt like

them) then you can go anywhere.

NOTE: This worksheet can call up some deep feelings, so I urge you to be take

good psychic care of yourself as you work. Also, youʼll notice that it calls you to

quote your “Imaginary” lover and parents – because the version that lives in our

minds is infinitely more powerful that the real person, and it is your ideas, shadows

and nightmares that weʼre concerned with here, not what actual people might or might not say or do.

1) Write down one sentence that your Imaginary Lover could say to you that would really hurt your feelings:_______________________________________________

2) Write down one sentence that your Imaginary Mother could say to you that would really hurt your feelings:__________________________________________

3) Write down one sentence that your Imaginary Critic could say to you about your work that would really hurt your feelings:__________________________________

Now, continued on the next page, re-write the sentence from line 1, but this time youʼll add the magic word “sometimes.”


So, for example, if the hurtful sentence your Imaginary Lover said was “You are bad in bed,” then you would write, “I am bad in bed sometimes.”

__________________________________________________________________

Now read that sentence aloud a few times, slowly.

Let it circulate through your body. Try to just be with it. Is it true? Can you

see/feel that it is the truth that sometimes you are that way? Can you find a specific example of when it has been true? Can you peacefully accept that?

Repeat this process with each sentence, attempting only to feel some grace

around each one. If the sentence on line 2 is, “You are a big disappointment,” then

you would write out and say aloud, “I am a big disappointment sometimes.” Is it

true? Have you ever been a big disappointment to yourself? To others? And, sometimes you have not been a big disappointment, right?

Having the ability to gracefully sit with a self-concept that frightens you allows you

to develop the ability to (psychically, creatively, spiritually, interpersonally…) go anywhere.

NOTES: This exercise is derived from the amazing, life-giving work of Byron Katie,

and I heartily urge you to check her out at www.TheWork.com


YOUR CREATIVE TWIN VISUALIZATION EXERCISE

My “Creative Property” Was:

What Caught My Eye:

My Twin Was:

My Twinʼs Name:

My Nickname:

The Project My Twin Suggested:

My Reaction Was:

My Twinʼs Gift To Me:

My Twinʼs Advice To Me:

A “Real World” Version Of This Project Might Be:

Other Things I Noticed:


NOTES:


VALUES-BASED DECISION MAKING WORKSHEET

Often when making a decision we try to consider all the variables at once, ending

up confused and frustrated. This worksheet is designed to help you determine

what is REALLY important to you.

For example, Suzy is planning a vacation and sheʼs thinking, “Well, Iʼd love to go to

Hawaii, but maybe it would be better to go to Napa because itʼs closer to home and

then maybe we could stay longer but the lodging in Napa can be really expensive

and Iʼve never been to Hawaii but the carbon footprint of going to Hawaii is sort of

disturbing but Iʼve already been to Napa twice but maybe we could try that new

retreat center or maybe we should ....”

Sound familiar? In this case, Suzy might fill out the worksheet like this:

1) List all the concerns (both pro and con) about going to Napa in no

particular order.

2) In the same way, list all the concerns about Hawaii.

3) Make a note next to each concern about what value is involved in that

concern.

4) Now going down each outside column, give each concern a “score” from

1-10, indicating how important each item is, based on personal value

system.

As you can see on the next page, Suzy values staying close to home and

relaxation pretty highly (an 8 on a scale of 1-10) and while the budget is a concern,

sheʼs saved up for this trip, so it only gets a 5. Plus, she remembers that Hawaii is

pretty expensive, too. Looking at her Hawaii list, Suzy can see that she is really

thrilled by the prospect of going somewhere sheʼs always dreamed of, and even


though it involves a lot of travel time, sheʼs really into the idea. And, she reasons,

she already drives an electric car, so maybe the carbon footprint thing isnʼt that big

a deal in this instance.

This worksheet wonʼt necessarily make the decision for you, but it can be a big

help in discovering what the real issues are for you, and what a new solution might

be.

VALUE

How important is this item to me on a scale

of 1-10?

OPTION #1

List all the pros and cons that come to mind

Go to Napa

OPTION #2

List all the pros and cons that come to mind

Go to Hawaii

VALUE


of 1-10?

8 Close to home = easy

to get to

Would love to go =

enthusiasm &

excitement

10

8 Could stay longer =

more relaxing

Far from home = long

travel time 3

5 Expensive lodging =

budget concerns

Never been there = new

experience 9.5

4 Stay in new retreat

center = new experience

Carbon footprint =

concern for environment 4

Notes:


YOUR VALUES WORKSHEET

Work swiftly – right off the top of your head – no pondering, please.

VALUE


of 1-10?

OPTION #1

List all the pros and cons that come to mind, then make a note of

the Personal Value reflected therein

OPTION #2

List all the pros and cons that come to mind, then make a note of the Personal Value reflected therein

VALUE


of 1-10?

What do you notice about your lists and your values? Any next action steps come to mind?


NOTES:


INCREMENTAL LIFE IMPROVEMENTS WORKSHEET

This is another “”Could Do” list – weʼre just brainstorming. Each item should be small, fairly easy to accomplish, easily within your budget and require less than 15 minutes of your time.

1. One small thing I could do that would improve the quality of my

life today would be:

___________________________________________________

2. One small thing that I could not do (or stop doing) that would

improve the quality of my life today would be:

___________________________________________________

3. One small thing I could do for someone else that would improve

the quality of life (mine or theirs) today would be:

___________________________________________________

4. One small thing I could ask someone else to do that would

improve the quality of my/our life today would be:

___________________________________________________

5. One small thing I could ask the Universe to do that would

improve the quality of my life today would be:

___________________________________________________

NOTES:


NOTES:


ITʼS WHO YOU KNOW We hear it all the time: “Itʼs who you know.” Makes a person feel like if they werenʼt born royalty in whatever world theyʼre looking to break into, theyʼre never going to get ahead. So letʼs investigate this idea. Even if you live in the sticks and feel like you donʼt know anybody useful, still…just play around with this worksheet. You may be right - maybe there isnʼt anyone you know who can help you. But maybe writing a few names out might stimulate a new idea, contact or strategy. Give it a try and see what happens.

1) Write down the name of a person you know (a person you vibe with) whom you

might call for some good advice, input and general supportiveness about your project?

__________________________________________________________________

2) Now, write down someone that first person knows that they could introduce to

you. In other words, who is a friend of that friend who might be able to help you? (Not that they will, just that they could.)

__________________________________________________________________

3) Which person do you know with whom you should NOT discuss this project?

__________________________________________________________________

4) Which person (whom you do not know) should you maybe research a bit? __________________________________________________________________

5) Anybody else you might want to call about this? __________________________________________________________________

NOTES:


NOTES:


Week Six: The Beginning Of Wisdom


- Sitting On Santa’s Lap

- The Pure Preference Worksheet Redux

- I Have This Friend...

- The Beginning Of Wisdom Is To Call Things By Their

Right Names




1. ________________________________

2. ________________________________

3. ________________________________

4. ________________________________

5. ________________________________

What Do I Know Now That I Didnʼt Know Then?

__________________________________

__________________________________

__________________________________

__________________________________

__________________________________


__________________________________

__________________________________


__________________________________

__________________________________

To Do This Week:

1. ________________________________

2. ________________________________

3. ________________________________

NOTES:


NOTES:


SITTING ON SANTAʼS LAP

Imagine that Santa Claus (or the wish-granter of your choice) is here and heʼs asking you a few straight-out questions that you must answer without pondering. Be truthful. Be brief.

1) What do you want?

________________________________________________________

2) Are you ready to receive it? Is there space in your house, in your heart, in your life? Are you emotionally prepared to receive it? How so? 3) What do you give back? If Santa grants your wish, what will you do? How will you behave? Metaphorically speaking, what do you bring to the party? 4) Do you believe that your wish can be granted? That it will be granted? What would need to happen for your faith that this (or something better for the greater good of all concerned) to be at 100%? Good work. Say, “Thank you, Santa!”


NOTES:


PURE PREFERENCE WORKSHEET This worksheet is designed to help you hear what your heart and gut are telling you, quite apart from whatʼs “realistic,” “practical” or what you “should” do.

STEP ONE: Listing List your choices. Assume all factors are equal. For example, if you are deciding between jobs, assume they each job pays oodles of money, is an easy commute, works with great people, etc., even if thatʼs not realistic. Weʼre not concerned with practicalities; weʼre just trying to discern what, all things being equal, you prefer.

1) ____________________________________________________________

2) ____________________________________________________________

3) ____________________________________________________________

4) ____________________________________________________________

5) ____________________________________________________________

STEP TWO: Ranking Ask yourself, “Between choices 1 and 2, which do I truly prefer?” and circle your preference at Line A, below. Continue to Line B, asking, “Between 1 and 3, which do I prefer? And between 2 and 3, which do I prefer?” Circle your preference each time. Keep going until all choices have been ranked against one another. A) 1 / 2 B) 1 / 3 2 / 3 C) 1 / 4 2 / 4 3 / 4 D) 1 / 5 2 / 5 3 / 5 4 / 5

STEP THREE: Scoring Count how many times each number is circled. Remember to count both down and across. 1 = 2 = 3 = 4 = 5 =

STEP FOUR: Results What do you notice about your results? Is there something on the list that got zero votes? What information do you have now that you didnʼt have before?


NOTES:


I HAVE THIS FRIEND….

Round One: I have this wonderful friend who has this problem:

__________________________________________________________________

What advice do you have for them?

__________________________________________________________________

Thank you, thatʼs wonderful advice.

Round Two: I have this wonderful friend who has this problem:

__________________________________________________________________


__________________________________________________________________


Round Three: I have this wonderful friend who has this problem:

__________________________________________________________________


__________________________________________________________________



Round Four: I have this wonderful friend who has this problem:

_________________________________________________________________


__________________________________________________________________


Round Five: I have this wonderful friend who has this problem:

__________________________________________________________________


__________________________________________________________________


Round Six: I have this wonderful friend who has this problem:

__________________________________________________________________


__________________________________________________________________


NOTES:


THE BEGINNING OF WISDOM The Chinese Proverb “The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names” is not just a beautiful idea; it is a very practical tool. Think of all the people walking around who believed themselves to be “stupid,” when actually the right name was “dyslexic.” Some people seem “aloof” when really, they are shy. What names are you calling yourself inside of your mind? What is the right name? As always, work swiftly and without pondering.

1. I Sometimes Might Seem Like Iʼm________________________________, But Really Iʼm ________________________________________________

2. Iʼm Afraid I Seem ______________________________________________, When Really Iʼm ______________________________________________

3. I Might Get Criticized For Being __________________________________, When Iʼm Really Being __________________________________________

4. I Sometimes Think I Am ________________________________________, When Really Iʼm ______________________________________________

5. My Family Might Think I Am _____________________________________, But Really Iʼm_________________________________________________

6. My Friends Might Think Iʼm ______________________________________, But Really Iʼm _________________________________________________

7. My Art Might Seem ____________________________________________,

But Really Itʼs _________________________________________________

NOTES:


NOTES:


Bonus Articles and Worksheets

- Do I Love It? Do I Use It? (article)

- Your Problem Area Worksheet

- Bye-Bye!

- I’ve Really Got To Get Organized Because...


DO I USE IT? DO I LOVE IT? I donʼt spend too much time in workshops talking about how to actually organize your stuff anymore. (Turns out Iʼm way more interested in your internal clutter than your external clutter.) But I thought you might enjoy this article on fighting off the “But I Might Need It Sometime!” demon and other gremlins that keep you from having the clear creative space you deserve.

Hereʼs the simple way to sift through your belongings: ask yourself, “Do I use it?

Do I love it?” Thatʼs it.

If you love it, then keep it. End of story.

It is OK to keep things that you love. You donʼt need to explain it or defend why

you love it. But it does need to be True Love. That is – it must make your heart

swell. It must make you feel good. Feelings of nostalgia, guilt, sadness,

sentimentality, shame, fear, anxiety, or depression are not the same as the feeling

of love. Be honest. Be remorseless. This clutter has already cost you plenty in

space, time and unease. You deserve to have things around you that you love.

And you deserve to let go of the things you donʼt love – to make room for more

love, of course!

Now, answering the question, “Do I use it?” is generally pretty easy. The stuff you

use, keep! The tricky part comes when the answer is “No, I donʼt use it, but…”

The words that come after that “but” are the thoughts that stand between you and a

clear, organized space.

“But I might need it sometime.”


“But if it were fixed I would use it.”

“But if I fit into it I would wear it.”

“But itʼs so nice.”

“But it was so expensive.”

“But it was such a great deal.”

“But my mother gave it to me.”

“But I could sell it on the Internet.”

“But it reminds me of that special time.”

“But itʼs a family treasure – I want to keep it for my children and my childrenʼs

children.”

The “buts” are endless. I encourage you to enlist a high-quality friend to help you

be honest with yourself as you sift through your things.

If you prefer to do this work alone, let me provide a few challenges to your “buts.”

“But I might need it sometime.”

If you havenʼt needed it up to now, the chances that youʼll need it in the future are

pretty slim. And if you do need it in the future, I bet youʼll be able to find an even

better one easily and inexpensively. Have a little faith, OK?

“But if it were fixed I would use it.”

But you havenʼt fixed it yet, and youʼve lived without it working for how long?

Seriously, hanging on to broken things is bad karma. If you really, really, really

want to fix it, then take it out to your car and put it in the front seat right now. The

next place you go is the repair shop. Or the frame shop or the tailor or whomever.

If itʼs worth hanging on to, then itʼs worth being treated with respect.

“But if I fit into it I would wear it.”


There is a Big Myth in the world that hanging on to clothes that are too small for

you is a good incentive to lose weight. Guess what – itʼs not. It doesnʼt work. If it

worked, you would fit into those clothes. What is not a big myth is that having a

closet full of clothes that fit and feel great will elevate your self-esteem and help

you achieve the body you want. Let the small (or big) sizes go – someone else

needs it while itʼs still in style. And when you do reach your ideal weight, you will

be able to find fabulous, current fashions that delight you. I promise.

“But itʼs so nice!”

Yes. Itʼs very nice. Letʼs all take a moment to admire how nice of a thing it is. But

it doesnʼt work with your life. So let it go to a place where it will be loved and used

and appreciated. Think of this way: what if I told you that I had a wonderful friend

who was in need of that exact nice thing? Youʼd probably hand it right over if you

knew there was someone else who needed it.

I am amazed by how often this tactic works: a client is filled with the desire to keep

something that they never use, and I say, “Well, you know, I have a friend who

could really use that exact thing.” And immediately the client says, “Oh! Well, in

that case, go ahead and give it to her.” I donʼt know if itʼs natural generosity, or if

people feel better knowing that their stuff is going to a “good home,” but even just

imagining that there is some wonderful, deserving person out there waiting to find

your item at the thrift store and use it and love it makes it easier to let things go.

(Once the item is handed over, I do ʻfess up about my fictional “friend” in order to

help the client realize how changing their internal story about what would happen to

their item once they released it helped change their need to hang on to stuff.)

So create that deserving friend in your mind. Or maybe you know an actual

someone that you would like to give it to (today!) or perhaps, as an act of faith, you


could just donate it to your local charity thrift store and trust that the perfect person

will find it.

“But it was so expensive!”

My father-in-law has a great expression to describe things that are expensive that

donʼt work out: tuition. Tuition is the money you pay to find out that something isnʼt

right for you. It costs a bit, but itʼs a valuable lesson to learn that, say, having an

elliptical trainer in your spare bedroom does not inspire you to work out more often.

Or that owning your own scuba equipment does not actually permit you to take

more scuba vacations and it would be a lot more efficient to rent. Or that lemon

yellow is a terrible color on you. So take the lesson that the tuition teaches and

remember: You can afford to let it go. If you can afford to not use it all this time,

you can afford to let it go.

“But it was such a great deal!”

Not if youʼre not using it, it wasnʼt. Congratulate yourself for being such a good

bargain hunter, though – itʼs good to know that you can find deals when you need

to.

“But my mother gave it to me.” And Iʼm sure she loves you and Iʼm sure you love her and Iʼm sure there are a lot of

complex and emotional feelings between the two of you regardless of whether or

not one or both of you is still alive. The love between parent and child – or

between friends or co-workers or sponsors or schoolmates or siblings or whoever

gave you that thing youʼre not using – is not in question.

In fact, take a moment to think about your relationship with the person who gave

you this thing you donʼt use. Itʼs probably a pretty complicated relationship. And

thatʼs OK. You can have a complicated relationship with a person and still get rid


of the thing they gave you. The thing is not their love. The thing is not your love

for them. Itʼs just a thing. A thing that you do not love nor do you use.

Also, everybody gives a dud gift every once in a while. You might have plenty of

wonderful things that were given to you by that very same person. In which case

you can certainly afford to get rid of the dud. Or maybe the person who gave that

dud to you has died or passed out of your life.

The fact that you will not receive another gift from that person is not a reason to

hang on to a gift that doesnʼt work for you. If you need to grieve, then grieve. But

donʼt hang on to some stuff just because you miss someone.

Your present life needs the space, and I canʼt imagine that anyone who would give

you a gift would begrudge you that space. Go ahead and see if you can picture the

person in your mind, and the person is telling you with a smile, “Itʼs OK – I just

wanted you to know that I care about you, and thatʼs why I got you that item. I

know you care about me, too, so itʼs OK to let it go.”

Sounds a little silly, maybe, but itʼs important that you feel you have permission to

be in charge of your own life, and that you have permission to be in charge of the

things that take up space in your life.

“But I could sell it.”

You know, selling stuff in a yard sale, on the Internet or through the classifieds is a

remarkably time-consuming process. And, not to sound like a broken record, but if

you really wanted to sell your stuff, you probably would have done it already. Itʼs

perfectly natural to want to realize some profit on things you have that have value –

or if not realize profit, at least not take a total loss. But letʼs analyze here for a

moment – how much money would you really get? Forty dollars? A hundred


dollars? A thousand dollars? And how much time and hassle is it to sell it

privately? If you consider that your time is worth, say, ten dollars an hour, how

much profit will there be? If the amount of money is significant and the time and

hassle is not too much of an issue, then go ahead and post your listing (today!)

Or perhaps you can think of another way; give it to a friend to sell for you (sharing

the profits, of course) or use an auction house or consignment shop, or try one of

those we-sell-it-for-you-on-eBay places. The commissions will mean that you

realize somewhat less money, but any money is more than the zero money the

item is worth when it is just cluttering up your space.

“But it reminds me of that special time.”

Your memories are so precious and so unique – they are just for you and they exist

just in your mind. They are a wonderful part of your make up. No one can ever

take your memories away from you. Even if you get rid of the souvenir, you will still

have the memory.

Just as you can love a person and not love the thing that person gave you, you can

love your memories of a time or an event and not love the memento itself.

If you canʼt quite bring yourself to get rid of it entirely, is it possible to just save part

of it? Maybe just the ribbon from the bouquet? Or just the scorecard from the

ballgame and not the whole program? Or maybe you can take a photo of the item

and put it with your special pictures so it will be there when youʼre reminiscing.

Honor your past, but do not allow it to inhibit your present.

“But itʼs a family treasure – I want to keep it for my children and my childrenʼs children.”


If you are fortunate enough to have valuable family items that warrant preservation,

then make sure you are honoring that responsibility by keeping those items clean

and safe from dust, bugs and the elements. Treat those items with respect, and

invest in the proper storage for them. Acid-free tissue paper is not cheap, but if

you truly want to preserve your grandmotherʼs quilt it is a necessity. Research how

to properly “bank” your items and find a safe, unobtrusive place to keep them.

If you find yourself unwilling to do the above, and you also find yourself not loving

nor using these family “treasures,” I invite you to consider the possibility that maybe

the biggest gift you could give your childrenʼs children is a life lived unencumbered

by excess.

You have the right to lead the life that is appropriate to you right now. And while it

is tempting to want to hang on to items that indicate a slightly different life (a life in

which we give frequent dinner parties, wear a size six, still have an office job, still

have toddlers, play tennis every week, hand-knit Christmas gifts and have plenty of

time for all that scrapbooking) we must commit fully to the life we have now.

This life is good.


NOTES:


YOUR PROBLEM AREA This worksheet is designed to help you take a new look at the areas of your space that are troubling you. Thereʼs no object to the game, just an opportunity to examine your thinking and brainstorm some possible courses of action. My Problem Area Is:________________________________________________

1) The Worst Thing About This Situation Is:

____________________________________________________________

2) The Best Thing About This Situation Is:

____________________________________________________________

3) Three Words Iʼd Use To Describe It As It Is Now:

a. _______________________________________

b. _______________________________________

c. _______________________________________

4) Three Words Iʼd Like Use To Describe It:

a. _______________________________________

b. _______________________________________

c. _______________________________________

5) How Much Is Required? How Much Do I Have To Offer?

a. Time:__________________________________

b. Money: ________________________________

c. Inclination (1-10): ________________________

6) What Will Have To Change? Who Will I Have To Become?_____________

7) How Will I Reward Myself?_______________________________________

Hereʼs What I Notice About This:


NOTES:


BYE-BYE!

I have a friend who is two years old, and one of things I notice about her is that she says “goodbye” with just as much enthusiasm, joy and freedom as she says “hello.” Sheʼll wave “bye-bye” to the train, “bye-bye” to her pre-school day care center and “bye-bye” to an empty milk bottle as it gets put in the recycling bin. She says, “bye-bye” with utter confidence. She is not in the least bit attached to the things that come and go in her life. The train goes by outside every seven minutes, and, if she sees it, sheʼll say “hi” and “bye” to it every time. Saying “bye-bye” doesnʼt mean you donʼt still want it (whatever “it” is) in your life, nor does it mean that it wonʼt actually happen. After all, my little friend is pretty sure that there will be more milk in her future, but if not…well, then something else will come. In the meantime, she can have fun saying “bye-bye” to the empty bottle. So, what could you say “bye-bye” to? Is there some old project? Some anxiety? Some old idea? Some grudge? Some dusty old ambition thatʼs no longer relevant to your life? And remember: saying “bye-bye” today might just mean that youʼll get to say “hello!” tomorrow.

I say a cheerful “bye-bye” to: __________________________________________________________________



Now, is there an action that you can do (or stop doing) to symbolize your farewells?

__________________________________________________________________

NOTES:


NOTES:


IʼVE REALLY GOT TO GET ORGANIZED BECAUSE…

Somewhere inside of almost everyone is the hidden belief that if we could just “get it together,” life would be smooth sailing. If we could just get the housework under control, or get to the gym more often, or corral the giant piles of paper on our desk, THEN everything would settle down for once and for all and we could concentrate on whatʼs really important. Work swiftly and without pondering – this is not about being “right” – itʼs just an investigation. What is the one thing that you (secretly or openly, habitually or just occasionally) believe that if you fixed “it,” everything would be made better? Write that down. __________________________________________________________________ Now list five things that you believe you could focus on if only that first thing were taken care of:

1)________________________________________________________________

2)________________________________________________________________

3)________________________________________________________________

4)________________________________________________________________

5)________________________________________________________________

And now ask yourself these questions: • Do you really need that first thing fixed in order to move on to any of the next

five? • Is the first thing even fixable at all? • Could you just let it go? • Is the first thing just a shadow thatʼs disguising – and distracting you from –

your true ambitions? • Is there anything on this list that could be delegated to someone else? (After

all, even if it werenʼt done as well as you would do it, at least it would be done.)

NOTES:


NOTES:


The Perfect Fit

We all sometimes feel as though we donʼt belong. “Among them but not of them,” as it were. Thatʼs OK – it is part of the artistʼs job to stand a bit apart from the crowd and to maintain a singular point of view. (In other words, youʼre weird...and thatʼs OK.) So letʼs examine the idea of “fit” and how it shows up in your life.

1) Write down one item of clothing (or pair of shoes or an accessory) you have that feels like a perfect fit and a word that describes why it feels so good:

Item: _______________________ Why: __________________________

2) Write down one item of clothing (or pair of shoes or an accessory) you have that doesnʼt fit you and a word that describes why it doesnʼt work for you:

Item: _______________________ Why: __________________________

3) Write down one area in your house that feels like a perfect fit and a word that describes why it feels so good:

Area: _______________________ Why: _________________________

4) Write down one area in your house that doesnʼt fit you and a word that describes why that space feels alienating to you:

Area: _______________________ Why: __________________________

5) Write down the name of one person or group with whom you truly fit in and a word that describes why:

Name: _______________________ Why: ________________________

6) Write down the name of one person or group with whom you truly do not fit in and a word that describes why:

Name: _______________________ Why: ________________________

What do you notice about this exercise? Do any of the descriptive words you used resonate with you? Do you notice any themes or recurrent ideas?

Are there any action steps you want to commit to based on this information?


NOTES:

© samantha bennett 2009

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