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This Too

BesTis For The

This Too

BesTis For The

Approaching Trials and Tribulations from a Torah Perspective

raBBi Yerachmiel moskoFF

Mosaica Press, Inc.

© 2013 by Mosaica Press

Edited by Doron Kornbluth

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ISBN 978-1-937-88705-6 ISBN-10: 1-937-88705-7

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לזכרון עולם בהיכל ה'

נשמת אדוני אבי

רבי נח משה בן רבי יצחק אלחנן

הכהן זצ"ל - מלץ

נאמן בדרכיו ומעשיו

נוח לשמים ונוח לבריות

ותמיד צהלתו על פניו

השפיע במדות אלו לכל מי שהכירו

יהי זכרו ברוך

נלב"ע ט"ז שבט תשס"ב

הונצח ע"י בנו הלל שליט"א

ויה"ר שיזכה להגדיל תורה ולהאדירה

מתוך הרחבת הדעת ומנוחת הנפש

תנצב"ה

In Loving Memory of

Mordechai and Dutzi Mezeiלעילוי נשמת

מרדכי בן משה צבי הלוידבורה בת אליעזר הכהן

Devorah bas Eliezer (HaKohen) was a true Akeres Habayis. She loved her children and grandchildren with all her heart. The beautiful homes and families that her children and grandchildren have built is

a testament to the incredible woman that she was.

Mordechai ben Moshe Tzvi (HaLevi) was truly an Ish Gam Zu L’Tova. His Emunah in Hashem was great. The trials and tribula-tions of his life were used as a vehicle to strengthen his relationship with Hashem. When once asked how he remained so steadfast in his Yiddishkeit all these years, he answered, “Obviously because of the Holocaust. How could you not see Hashem at that time?” The chal-lenges of life were met with the calm awareness that it was all part of Hashem’s plan. He radiated warmth and love to his children and grandchildren, never wasting time to focus on the negative. He gave us his smile and his calm wisdom. His legacy of a family that continu-ally grows in their Torah observance and Emunah is a testament to his unyielding belief that Hashem guides everything, and that we will

eventually see that everything is truly for the good.

DEDIcATED BY

THEIR cHILDREN,

gRANDcHILDREN

AND gREAT-gRANDcHILDREN

I wish to dedicate my first English sefer tomy dear parents,

Franklin and Sheila Moskoff

Their support and encouragement in all of my projects mean so much. They have been, and continue to be, a tremendous positive influence on me. I can never thank them enough for all they have

done and for always being there for me.

May Hashem give them all of the blessings await-ing generous and kindhearted people. They should always have much nachas from all of their offspring and merit the best of this world and the next.

Amen.

Dedicated to my dear brother

R’ YeRachMIeL

on the occasion of his new book. May you go from chayel to chayel, and continue to be a living example

of all that is written within!

LOvE, HIRScHEL Y. MOSKOff

for the speedy recovery of

chaya Batya bas chana

May Hashem Yisborach grant her a complete recovery, healing of body & soul, among all the sick

of our nation.

Contents

foreword ...............................................................................17Acknowledgments .................................................................29Preface ...................................................................................31

What are “Yissurim?” ............................................... 37

Types of Yissurim ..................................................................37

Reasons for Yissurim ................................................ 41

1. Yissurim out of love .........................................................422. Yissurim as a test ..............................................................453. Yissurim of Divine vengeance ..........................................494. Yissurim inspire a person to repent ..................................505. Yissurim as atonement ......................................................52Yissurim are custom-tailored ................................................54Atonement is conditional ......................................................586. Yissurim as liability for others ..........................................597. Yissurim to prepare for the Messianic Era ........................61Identifying Messianic Era suffering ......................................658. Suffering due to negligence ...............................................67

16 This Too Is For The Best

Foreword

By Rabbi Zev Leffmorah D’asra of moshav matityahu, israel

he Midrash1 relates that Moshe Rabbeinu said to Hash-em, “I sinned with the word ‘az’, -then, when I complained ‘mei’az basi el Pharaoh’ — [I had complained that] from then, the time I came to Pharaoh, things had only become

worse for the Jewish People. I will thus correct my sin with the word ‘az’,” as it says2 “az yashir Moshe” — then Moshe sang” (after the splitting of the Red Sea).

There are two difficulties in understanding this Midrash. firstly, if we assume that Moshe Rabbeinu sinned by complaining, why is he not also taken to task for his complaints mentioned just one sentence earlier,3 “why have You done bad things to these people?”

1 Shemos Rabbah 23:3.2 Shemos 15:1.3 Shemos 5:22.

accepting Yissurim ................................................... 70

The secret of rejoicing over Yissurim ....................................71Accepting the Divine Judgment ............................................73Rejecting the Divine Judgment.............................................75Attributing adversities to coincidence ..................................76Doubting Divine Justice .......................................................77

Greatness of Yissurim ............................................... 81

Practical Tips ............................................................ 98

Rejoicing over Yissurim ........................................... 116

Suffering comes a little at a time .........................................123

Substitutes for Yissurim .......................................... 132

Repenting applies also to poor habits ..................................148Ascertaining the quality of our repentance .........................149Other benefits of repentance ...............................................150A text for repentance ...........................................................151Physical efforts (Hishtadlus)................................................158

approaching a Friend who is Suffering ..................... 183

Judge him favorably .............................................................185

To Summarize .......................................................... 197

Financial Problems .................................................. 206

The Death of a child ................................................. 214

18 This Too Is For The Best 19Foreword

Secondly, when Moshe sang, he never mentioned the word ‘az’, rather it is the Torah which uses the word when narrating what Moshe did – if so, how did Moshe in effect correct his sin?

To explain, we may begin with the gemara.4 Moshe Rabbeinu asked Hashem: “Ribbono shel Olam, why do some tzaddikim pros-per and some suffer? Why do some wicked people prosper and some suffer?”

At first glance, Moshe’s questions seem puzzling. Of course, we understand that he was troubled by why tzaddikim suffer and why the wicked prosper. But why was he also troubled about why the tzad-dikim prosper and why the wicked suffer? Isn’t this the way it should be? After all, the concept of reward and punishment is one of the basic tenets of our faith.

Perhaps we can explain Moshe Rabbeinu’s questions in the follow-ing manner. The Telzer Rosh HaYeshiva, Rav Yosef Yehuda Leib Bloch,5 writes that there is no shame in admitting ignorance, as we are all ig-norant of many things in this world. However, someone who chooses the one thing that bothers him in order to question it, making it seem that he understands everything else, is a fool.

Moshe Rabbeinu was no fool. He therefore did not only ask about the issues that are obviously difficult, rather he admitted that he was ignorant of the full understanding of all the possibilities. Even the fact that a tzaddik prospers is not fully grasped in its minute details. We will pursue the understanding of yissurim in this vein — even con-cepts which are well-known have many details of which we remain ignorant.

The gemara6 relates that in the future, Hashem will (figuratively) take a Sefer Torah in His arms and declare: “Whoever fulfilled what it says in here should come and claim his reward”. All the nations will then gather and Hashem will receive them one by one. The Romans will enter first. When asked why they deserve a reward, they will reply,

4 Brachos 7a.5 Shiurei Da’as, Nissim V’teva 2.6 Avodah Zorah 2a.

“We established many marketplaces, built many bathhouses and amassed much gold and silver, all so that the Jewish People could oc-cupy themselves with Torah.” Hashem will respond: “fools. The mar-ketplaces you established were for immoral purposes. The bathhouses you built were for your own enjoyment. The gold and silver is Mine, as it says, “Mine is the gold and Mine is the silver, says Hashem.”

The Brisker Rav raises some questions on this gemara. How could the Romans have the audacity to lie so preposterously, claiming that ev-erything they did was to enable the Jews to learn Torah? Nothing could be further from the truth! furthermore, if they lied, why does Hashem call them ‘fools’ and not ‘liars’?

Perhaps we can find the answer in the works of the Chovos Ha-Levovos. In Sha’ar HaBitachon he writes that although we have free will, we cannot guarantee that we can bring our choices and plans to fruition. for example, a benefactor might decide to give a poor person a hundred dollars, write the check at night and intend to give it in the morning. However, the benefactor may die overnight and not give the check, or the poor person may die overnight. Alternatively, the poor person can win the lottery and become rich, etc. There are many circumstances that can prevent this benefactor from actualizing his choice. Therefore, our decisions (for better or for worse), are under our control. Hashem alone decides the outcome of those decisions. Indeed, we find this principle outlined in Mishlei:7 “Many thoughts are in the heart of man, but Hashem’s plan will endure.”

A question arises — what is Hashem’s plan? Hashem’s plan is to bring the world to its perfection, which will culminate when Mashiach comes. The purpose of Mashiach, says the Rambam8, is to enable the Jewish People to occupy themselves in Torah in the most ideal environment.

With this in mind, we can understand the Romans’ claim to re-ward. When the Romans will look back over history, they will see that, incredibly, whatever Hashem permitted them to accomplish in this

7 19:21, see the Malbim.8 Hilchos Melachim 12:4.


world fit into His plan of bringing the world to its perfection, enabling the Jewish People to be occupied with Torah. Therefore, they are not ‘liars’ for saying that what they did was for the Jewish People. It was the truth — part of Hashem’s plan. Nonetheless, they are called ‘fools’ to expect to be rewarded for it, as they never chose to help the Jewish People. Every marketplace and bathhouse they built was for their own selfish intentions. Hashem brought their plans to fruition as part of His grand design to bring the world to perfection.

The bottom line is that all that happens is god’s will. We also know that whatever Heaven does is for the good9. This leaves us with a perplexing enigma. How can we begin to understand how the evil acts of terrorists, murderers, etc. are for the good?

chana, in her song of thanksgiving10, said “There is no rock like Hashem.” The gemara11 reveals a deeper meaning. “Do not read tzur, rock, but rather tzayar, artist.”

Rav Shraga feivel Mendelovitz explains the quality of Hashem as an artist with the following analogy: If one instructs a kindergarten child to draw a picture of a person, he’ll make a circle for the head, a line down for the body, two lines on the sides for arms, and two lines down for legs. One can discern exactly what the child’s intention is at every step.

By contrast, if Rembrandt were to paint the same picture, he would first dab a black stroke, then a red stroke, etc. At first glance, these strokes appear unnecessary and even destructive. They are ruining the canvas. However, if someone questions the purpose of these red and black strokes, Rembrandt will tell them to wait until they see the completed picture. Then, they will see how the red was needed for contrast, the black for shadow, etc. to enhance the beauty of the picture.

Similarly, Hashem is in the process of painting a colossal picture, a panorama of history from creation until the end of days. We only see a fragment of that picture, the black and red strokes that at times

9 See Taanis 21a.10 Shmuel 1 2:2.11 Brachos 10a.

seem destructive. However, when the full picture will be completed we will see that everything that appeared to be damaging or unjust actu-ally turned out to fit perfectly into the picture. It was ultimately good, in the broad perspective.

Imagine that you enter a room and see a masked man wielding a knife ready to cut off someone’s leg. Deciding to be a hero, you remove the masked terrorist and drag the intended victim to safety. Instead of thanking you, the victim looks up and cries, “Why did you take away my surgeon? I have gangrene on my leg and need immediate surgery or else I will die!” Seeing only a portion of the picture and not realizing its full dimensions made an act of mercy seem like an act of terrorism.

The gemara12 comments on the verse13 “Hashem will be King over the entire world, on that day Hashem will be one and His name one.” Isn’t Hashem one now? Is His name not one already? The gemara answers that in this world, we recite the blessing Dayan Ha’Emes, god is the true judge, on bad tidings, and the blessing Hatov v’Hameitiv, god is good and bestows good, on good tidings; whereas in the Next World, everything is good. Rabbi Yecheskel Landau, in his sefer, Tzlach,14 ex-plains that this does not mean that in the Next World there is only good, rather, when looking back on all that transpired in this world, we will see that it was all for the good.

With this principle in mind, we may understand the continuation of the above gemara:

Rav Nachman Bar Yitzchak said that in this world we write Hash-em’s name ‘yud, kay, vav, kay’ and read it Adonay. In this world, we are limited by time and do not grasp the total picture. We know that everything is for the best, yet it contradicts what we see. We see black and red strokes. Therefore we write the name ‘yud, kay, vav, kay’ — representing mercy, yet read it Adonay, relating to Divine Judgment, which is how we perceive it. This is alluded to in the spelling of Adonay — ‘alef, daled, nun, yud’. Alef represents Hashem at the beginning of

12 Pesachim 50a.13 Zechariah 14:9.14 Pesachim 50a d.h. v’amar.


time, when He was “one”. The yud at the end signifies the end of time. The many creations will unite under Hashem, represented by a yud, the unit of ten. Sandwiched between the beginning and end of time are the letters daled and nun — spelling the word din — meaning Di-vine Judgment. This represents how we, sandwiched in the middle of time, perceive life. We observe things that appear damaging, the black and red strokes. This is what our Sages meant by saying that in this world we write Hashem’s name ‘yud, kay, vav, kay’ and read it Adonay.

On the other hand, in the next world Hashem’s name is written and read the same way, because it represents Hashem beyond time: He was, is and always will be. In other words, this name represents the world from the broadest point of view, looking at the complete picture. There is recognition that there are no contradictions and that everything has a positive outcome — it is the name of Divine Mercy. Of this the (above) gemara continues, “But, in the next world we will write it and read it the same way, ‘yud, kay, vav, kay.’”

According to the Ksav Sofer, this is the deeper meaning of what Hashem answered Moshe Rabbeinu15: “You will see My back, but My face you will not see.” When the world will reach its completion and you will look back in retrospect, there will be no questions. This is what is referred to as ‘Hashem’s back’. When looking ahead, one does not see the complete picture. Here, there can be no answers. This is referred to as ‘My face.’

The Chafetz Chaim relates that based on the above idea, one would think that when the world will have reached its completion and we will know that it was all for the best, it will take a long time to have all the difficult periods of history explained. There were inquisitions, pogroms, holocausts, etc. as well as personal trials and tribulations. However, says the Chafetz Chaim, there is a precedent to the contrary. Ten brothers de-scended to Egypt to innocently buy food during a famine. They were ac-cused of being spies and thrown into prison, before being sent home for their little brother, found their money returned in their sacks, had their brother accused of being a thief, etc. They probably thought that one

15 Shemos 32:23.

day they would be given a lengthy explanation to all these perplexing occurrences. However two words alone sufficiently answered all their questions: “I [am] Yosef.” With these words, everything became clear. So too, when Hashem reveals Himself and His plan with the words “I am Hashem,” the total picture will be clear and all questions will be an-swered at once.

My wife once asked me why the sedra of Mikeitz ends in such a peculiar manner, with Binyamin being accused of stealing the goblet and the brothers in danger of being slaves. As the Rabbis were respon-sible for breaking the Torah into parshios, why did they not try to end the parashah on a positive note — which is the standard procedure?16 They could have easily extended the sedra and ended it with Yosef’s revelation. We may answer based on the previously stated words of the Chafetz Chaim, that the message inherent in this ending is that, eventually, everything will be perceived as good, but you will not see it this week. One must have patience and wait until next week to see the happy ending.

The Pardes Yosef17 tells the following story: A certain city was ex-periencing difficult times. A tzaddik from that city, known for his ex-ceptionally potent prayers, lay on his deathbed. The Rav of the city ap-proached him with a request. He asked that since he would soon pass into the next world, and tzaddikim are even greater after death than they were in life, would he please promise that upon entering the Next World, he will immediately beseech Hashem that the city be relieved of its misfortune. The tzaddik died. Two weeks passed with no respite — in fact, the misfortune got worse. finally, the tzaddik appeared to the confused Rav in a dream and told him that he could not pray for the misfortune to go away, because from his perspective in the Next World, the misfortune was actually in the community’s best interest.

This leads us to a serious question. If everything is ultimately for the good, then why, when misfortune comes, do we pray for it to go away? If we truly believe that everything is for the best, we should rejoice in it!

16 See Tosafos on Kesuvos 112b d.h. Asidin. See also Talmud Yerushalmi, Megillah ch. 3 Halacha 7.17 End of parshas Shemos.


consider a patient examined by a doctor who determines that a serious, painful operation is necessary. The operation will definitely cure his patient, adding fifty happy, healthy years to his life. Avoid-ing the operation would mean certain death. Even if the patient begs the doctor not to operate, so as not to experience the pain, the doc-tor will ignore his request, knowing that the operation is in the pa-tient’s best interest.

Similarly, since all of our misfortune will have a positive outcome, why should we pray to have what we (mistakenly) believe is bad taken away? The “doctor”— Hashem — knows better!

An answer to this can be illustrated by slightly adjusting the above analogy. The doctor determines that the patient requires a serious operation that will save his life and give him an additional fifty happy, healthy years. However, the doctor also knows that the operation is only necessary because the patient’s body is too weak to integrate a bitter medicine that could accomplish the same results. He suggests that the patient exercise and strengthen his body, ren-dering the painful operation unnecessary. The patient heeds the ad-vice and exercises. The doctor re-examines the patient. He concludes that his patient’s body is now sufficiently strong to be able to take the bitter medicine and cancels the operation. The doctor then in-structs the patient to exercise more to further strengthen his body, so that a sweet medicine can be substituted for the bitter one. The patient does so, the doctor administers the sweet medicine and the person is cured.

The doctor has not changed his mind. He knew that in condition X, the operation is necessary and good for the patient. In condition Y, the bitter medicine is effective and the operation unnecessary, and in condition Z, the sweet medicine can be substituted for the bitter one. It is the patient’s condition that has changed.

This is prayer. Tefillah — l’hispallel — is reflexive, says Rav Sham-shon Refael Hirsch. It does not change Hashem’s ‘mind’ but rather changes the person’s condition. It’s like spiritual exercise (perhaps that’s why we “shuckel” when we pray!).

Hence, a person can change his spiritual condition by a myriad of possible factors — including prayer — to achieve the same posi-tive result in a manner more pleasant than suffering. (Even though he brought suffering upon himself with his actions, behavior and free choices.) He has ‘strengthened himself ’ through prayer to get by with the medicine, instead of the operation.18 Therefore, we pray for mis-fortune to go away, since prayer changes our condition.

This idea raises another question. If prayer changes the person’s condition, and not god’s mind, how can one pray for someone else?

One answer is that all Jews are interrelated,19 sharing one collec-tive, all-encompassing soul. A change in any part is in fact a change in the whole. consequently, by praying for someone else, one indirectly affects a change in that person. According to this concept, if one can effect an indirect change in another person that will bring results, surely he can effect a direct change in his own self to bring about that same result in a stronger, faster manner. This can explain why Chazal say20 that one who needs something and prays for someone else who needs a similar thing, is answered first.

Another explanation of how our tefillos can help others is based on how Rav Yisroel Salanter expounds on the verse:21 “God is a rock whose actions are perfect, as all His ways are just...” He explains that there is a gulf of a difference between Divine Justice and human jus-tice. Although humans can execute justice, it is limited to the object of the judgment. The collateral damage caused may not be just. for ex-ample, when a court issues a verdict, a proper and just action may be administered to the criminal (imprisonment, etc.), yet the collateral damage caused may not be just. His wife and children stand to suf-fer greatly from his incarceration, notwithstanding their innocence. In the human justice system people innocent of the crime also stand

18 This may explain the custom on Rosh HaShana to wish each other a good and sweet New Year. Every year is good no matter how difficult it may seem, but not every good is sweet. We wish the year to be overtly good — a good and sweet new year.

19 See Shavuos 39a.20 Bava Kama 92b.21 Devarim 32:4.


to be ‘punished.’ In contrast, when Hashem metes out justice, all col-lateral damage is taken into consideration. Hence, if it is decreed that Reuven get sick (because he needs this for his soul’s eternal good) and as a result, Reuvens wife and children will be affected and pained, Hashem will not decree sickness on Reuven until his wife, children (and anyone else negatively affected) truly deserve the yissurim that come as a consequence. The Heavenly Tribunal acts only after all of the affected parties have been accounted for.22

With this in mind, we can explain how a person who prays for someone else can change the entire situation. Take Reuven, who feels for his suffering friend Shimon and prays for him. In the merit of this mitzvah (praying for Shimon), Reuven may no longer deserve to suf-fer as a result of Shimon’s sickness. This, in turn, will serve as a cata-lyst to Shimon’s speedy recovery, as it says, “God is a rock whose actions are perfect, as all His ways are just.” All collateral damage is considered.

There is another difficulty regarding the concept that everything is for the best. Why is it that even when a situation is final, we still mourn the misfortune? Take a person’s death, which leaves no alter-natives, nothing to do. Why do we mourn over what was surely for the best? In fact, the Ramban says that one who does not mourn is considered a cruel person.

Perhaps the explanation is that we often function on two di-mensions: absolute truth and relative truth. A halachic example is the fact that every cubic centimeter of air is occupied by thousands of microorganisms. When magnified a million times by an electron microscope, they appear to be living, monsterlike creatures. They are certainly not kosher, yet there is no problem ingesting them since we approach halacha according to our five senses. Since these organisms are invisible to the naked eye, they are considered halachically non-existent — even though they definitely do exist. In other words, we abide by the relative truth.

So too, even though in absolute eternal reality everything is for the good, we must relate to incidents that we see with our limited

22 See also Pele Yoetz, Erech B’chiah.

vision as god wants us to see them — tragic and mournful. In fact, this is part of what will bring about the eternal good. Sometimes, our souls need to cry, mourn, sympathize and empathize to reach per-fection. Relative to our limited scope, these emotions have validity. However, when one makes the blessing Dayan HaEmes, he should realize that the mourning is not in vain. It serves an eternally posi-tive purpose from the broader point of view. One recites the blessing with satisfaction, knowing that ultimately, this too, is for the good. The meaning of Dayan HaEmes is not “the true Judge” but rather “the Judge of truth.” There is only one eternal truth and Hashem judges the manner in which it will be realized; sometimes sweet and pleas-ant, and sometimes bitter and painful.

Now we can return to the Midrash we began with. By asking “Why have You done bad things to these people?” Moshe Rabbeinu did not com-mit a sin. When misfortune occurs, one must question the purpose. Why is this suffering necessary? Where do I need to improve? As the Rabbis tell us,23 if suffering befalls a person, he should investigate and correct his deeds. Moshe did not question Hashem with the word madua — why (intellectually) is this happening? Rather, he used the word lamah — what is the purpose of this happening? So, this verse was not the sin.

But then he made the statement “mei’az basi el Pharaoh.” Meaning, ever since then, when I went to Pharaoh, things only got worse for the people. Moshe Rabbeinu isolated a moment in time, failing to put it into the eternal perspective, as one must do. That was his sin.

Moshe rectified this sin by singing his song of joy for the events at the splitting of the Red Sea. He did not sing for that isolated mo-ment of good alone. Rather, as the Torah itself testifies, writing yashir, will sing — in the future tense, until the resurrection of the dead — he viewed that az, that moment, in the viewpoint of eternity. He put the moment into an eternal picture and sang from that perspective, thereby correcting his original flaw.

23 See Brachos 5b.


Rabbi Yerachmiel Moskoff has presented a comprehensive study of how suffering can contribute towards the ongoing well-being of the individual as well as the Jewish People as a whole. His presentation is lucid, thorough, interesting, informative and inspiring. He has truly created an impressive work that will effectively enable one to better understand this very difficult issue.

I commend Rabbi Moskoff on his effort and on his contribution to the furtherance of Torah knowledge and observance by strengthening one’s faith. May Hashem grant him and his family a sweet and pleas-ant life to continue to be able to merit the community with further Torah works.

Sincerely,Rabbi Zev LeffMoshav Matityahu, IsraelAdar 5773

Acknowledgments

his sefer has been made possible due to the contributions of many people. They have given of their time and lent their talents. Without their quality contributions this work would not have been.

I therefore wish to express my sincere gratitude towards them:first and foremost, the Ribbono Shel Olam. No words can justly

express what He has done for me. Yisborach Shmoi Lo-ad ul - Ohlmai uhlamim.

My esteemed and honored Rav, Rabbi Moshe Mordechai Karp Shlita, who apart from being an incredible role model, has directed me in a myriad of matters with his sage wisdom and kindness.

My dear wife, Rochel Bracha, for taking such great care of the fam-ily and enabling me to write works such as these, and for offering im-portant advice.

My parents and in laws and my brothers, Jeff and Hirschel. They reviewed the manuscript and offered valuable practical advice and comments. Particular mention to Hirschel who did not leave a stone uncovered. He had a great impact on this project.

Rabbi Zev Leff, for taking of his precious time to review the man-uscript and write the foreword.


Rabbi Yehudah Aryeh cohen, for allowing me to be part of his outstanding Kollel. He provides a stimulating and vibrant Torah at-mosphere, from which this work amongst many others has sprout-ed. Rabbi Yosef Zaltsman, Rabbi A. L. Kahn and Yehuda and Miriam goldberg, for opening up their doors to allow me to deliver shiurim, which formed the roots from which this sefer grew.

The entire team at Mosaica Press. A deep thanks to Rabbi Doron Kornbluth, who was the chief editor. With his gifted pen he rendered the sefer to be smooth reading, interesting, informative and fitting for a wide audience of people. Special mention to Rabbi Yaacov Haber for ac-cepting the sefer as part of the Mosaica Press ‘family.’ He allowed me to benefit from his efficient and professional staff, which carefully shaped and molded the manuscript down to the minute details.

Rabbi Moshe Armel who translated the original Hebrew work and made many acute and valuable suggestions.

My good friend, Reb Moshe Tsvi Schaumer, who has been a won-derful source of encouragement in this project, among others.

All of the people who so generously made donations towards the editing and publishing of this work.

May Hashem bless all of them with many happy years filled with Torah and yiras Shomayim, perfection in character and good deeds, vi-brant health and true peace. Amen.

Rabbi Yerachmiel Emmanuel HaKohen MoskoffKiryat Sefer, Modiin Illit.Shvat, 5773

for comments and question, please contact me at [email protected].

Preface

t is clear to most of us that after our lives in this world are completed, what awaits us is the pleasure of a perfect and eternal world, with our level of reward commensurate to our efforts to keep the Torah and mitzvos. The Ramchal24 writes, “Man was created specifically to enjoy god and to enjoy from

the radiance of His Presence, for this is the only true joy and the great-est pleasure of all the pleasures one may find, and the place where this pleasure can be expe-rienced is truthfully only in the Next World.” Torah Jews understand this idea about the fu-

ture world, at least on an intellectual level. What is not so well-known or understood is what the Torah promises in this world to the Torah Jew, and that is serenity. As it states,25 “If you listen to Me, you shall dwell with tranquility.” Rashi26 explains that the serenity promised is concerning one’s stay in this world.

24 Mesilas Yesharim, ch. 1.25 Mishlei 1:33.26 Rashi, ad loc. See Metzudos Dovid to translate ‘betach’ as lack of mental distress, i.e.

calmness.

Man was created for pleasure

32 This Too Is For The Best 33Preface

consider the promise just men-tioned. How do you understand it? We see with our own eyes the many pains and troubles of daily life — even for those who completely adhere to the To-

rah. Indeed, throughout ancient and modern Jewish history, it seems there has been much suffering borne by Torah observant Jews. If so, where are all the blessings of this world?

One way to approach this question can be understood with the following gemara:27

“It once happened that Hillel the Elder was walking on the way, and he heard the sound of wailing from his town. He said, ‘I am sure that [the wailing] is not emanating from my house.’ Regarding him, the verse is written,28 ‘He shall not fear an evil report; his heart steadfastly trusts in Hashem.’”

The Shlah29 quotes the Tefilah LeMoshe who asks a pointed question on this gemara: How was Hillel the Elder so confident that there was no suffering in his house? After all, it is impossible to be completely free of sin (albeit minute), and with sin comes suffering as atonement.

His answer is life-changing. certainly, even the great Hillel expe-rienced difficulties in life. However, Hillel had a special attitude to-

wards his suffering. He accepted them willingly and was thankful for the atone-ment they brought. He likewise trained his household to look at whatever tra-vails they may have in a positive light. Therefore, when he heard cries of pain,

Hillel knew without a doubt that they were not coming from his house. Even if a tragedy had occurred to his family, they never would have broken down crying. This is why the gemara explains, “He shall

27 Brachos 60a.28 Tehillim 112:7.29 Asara Maamaros 5:4.

hillel instructed his family to look at difficulties in a

positive light

not fear an evil report.” It is not written, “He shall not hear an evil re-port,” for that would suggest that no suffering would ever befall him, which is not realistic. Rather, the verse writes, “He shall not fear an evil report,” meaning that even when bad news arrives, he will not be distressed because he knows that all Hashem does is for the best.

This is a critical lesson: There is a positive side to suffering. As we will learn, the travails of life are a catalyst to perfection; they polish the soul and deliver inestimable reward. A person who appreciates this concept will not only accept suffering when it comes his way, but he will embrace it, as one who has found a great treasure.

We now understand the above-quot-ed verse, “If you listen to Me, you shall dwell with tranquility.” The verse is not meant as a guarantee that a Torah observant Jew will have a life without adversity, which we know is simply not true. The verse is stating that a Torah observant Jew will dwell with calmness, and he will have a life permeated with serenity despite life’s challenges due to his deep understanding that all that happens brings with it manifold benefits.30

Superficial knowledge that “Gam Zu LeTovah” is not enough to face the challenges of life. Deep understanding is necessary, particu-larly in our days as suffering is an inevitable part of our daily lives. We find written in the Sefer HaYoshar,31 “This world is a house of troubles.

If today passes without suffer-ing, then tomorrow it will come, and if not tomorrow, surely with-in the month.” Our times espe-cially are prone to suffering as we live in the times preceding the eminent arrival of Mashiach.

30 See more about this in Chovos HaLevavos, Shaar Habitachon.31 Shaar 6.

The chazon Ish said, “There is no sadness in the world for one who is familiar with the brilliant light of

the Truth”

Saying Gam Zu LeTova generally doesn’t change one’s life; understanding

it and living it does, therefore the need for this

work

Our history has been so filled with

suffering… where is the blessing?

34 This Too Is For The Best 35Preface

Rebbi Yochanan said,32 “If you see a generation in which difficulties flow like a river, wait for him [Mashiach]…”

How wonderful it would be if the subject of suffering is explored and clarified in one place in order to help us achieve a deeper level of understanding of this important aspect of our lives. One who has a firm grasp of this will surely be able to travel the hills and valleys of life with a great inner calm and will be a beacon for others to learn from.

Hence the compilation of this work. With Hashem’s help, after much research of Torah sources over the course of many years, im-proved through dozens of seminars to a range of audiences, this sefer has been put to print. The various types of suffering have been cat-egorized, together with an explanation of their root causes. Some of the vast storehouses of goodness that accrue from yissurim are clari-fied together with practical tips on how to look at them, to follow the example of Hillel.

The reader will find himself equipped not only to successfully overcome some of life’s greatest challenges, but also to help and console others in their times of pain. Similarly, as a result of his en-hanced understanding of Hashem’s merciful ways, he will grow in his love for god. However, in order to derive the greatest possible benefit from this work, it is advisable to learn it only a little bit at a time, as opposed to reading it all in one sitting. There are many concepts mentioned which are not so well-known, and therefore, in order to be able to “digest” them properly, a slower approach is recommended.

A few words concerning the translation of the Hebrew texts: Over the course of translating these texts, it became obvious that a literal translation would simply not do. Apart from not reading well, the message being expressed became altered and sometimes even ob-scured. I therefore found it necessary not only to translate, but also to adapt the texts into English, thus enabling the reader to grasp the essence of what our Sages were teaching, while keeping the sefer eas-ily understood and pleasant to read. This has disadvantages as well.

32 Sanhedrin 98a.

As is the case in any translation, many of the nuances of the original language are lost. This applies all the more so to an adaptation.

It must also be mentioned that when dealing with the words of our holy Sages in particular, there are often several lessons implied in a single statement. In a translation, usually only one of them is brought to light. To try and compensate for this, I have quoted the sources, facilitating the reader to research the source material him-self, and thus derive the greatest possible benefit from the wisdom of our Sages.

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WhAt ARe “YissuRim?”

ne of the most commonly found words used in the To-rah to describe pain and suffering is “yissurim.” No wonder it has a negative connotation. However, after studying the sources it emerges that the word yissurim

is actually a most positive and uplifting term! We will learn that yissurim harbor untold blessings. In order to gain an ap-preciation of this, one must first iden-tify what yissurim are.

types of YissurimAll yissurim can be classified under two general categories: physi-

cal and emotional.

If understood correctly, “yissurim”

is not a negative term

38 What are “Yissurim?”This Too Is For The Best 39

Physical Yissurim:

Anything that causes even the smallest physical discomfort or pain.33 for example:

y Illness — including major disease and suffering, as well as the flu, fever, head-aches, etc.34

y Pregnancy and childbirth.35

y Bumps and scratches, even stubbing one’s toe.36

y Inclement weather, such as uncomfortable heat or cold.37

emotional Yissurim:

Anything that causes emotional pain or mental anguish. for example: y Bereavement — the loss of a family

member, beloved friend, mentor, a tzad-dik or the loss of any other individual that causes one to feel pain.38

y financial loss or damage to one’s property.39

y Hardships of raising a family,40 verbal abuse — having received hurtful words of insult or reprimand.41

y A difficult spouse.42

33 cf. Erechin 16b, Rashi, ad loc., s.v. 34 cf. Brachos 5b.35 cf. Rashi on Bereishis 3:16; Eiruvin 100b, Rashi, ad loc.36 cf. Pele Yoetz, Erech ‘Yissurim’, “Every variety of pain combines into one large sum.”37 cf. Midrash Aggadah (Buber) on Bereishis 8:22, “cold and heat are types of suffering,

for sometimes discomfort is caused by the cold, and sometimes discomfort is caused by the heat.”

38 cf. Rashi to Brachos 5b.39 Ibid. 5b, 58b.40 See Sanhedrin 19b with Rashi.41 cf. Tomer Devorah, ch. 2., citing the Arizal; Shlah, Shaar HaOsiyos, Letter Ayin. See Mishlei

18:8 with the commentary of the vilna gaon, that hurting words can be more damaging than physical abuse.

42 Eiruvin 41b: “Three will never see the face of Gehinom: the poverty stricken, sufferers of intestinal illness and those suffering aggravation from their creditors. Some add: even one whose wife is difficult.” Menoras HaMeor explains this as a reference to a woman who is

Physical yissurim include sickness,

disease, etc.

emotional yissurim include bereavement, difficulties of raisng a

family, etc.

y Minor inconveniences — including such annoyances as ordering clothes that do not fit, a hot meal that was served cold or even pulling out the wrong coin from one’s pocket.43

quick to anger. The Meiri (Yevamos 63a) writes as follows: When looking for a woman to marry, a man should always be sure to inquire after her char-

acter; is she particular about everything and quick to anger, or is she pleasant and peace-loving? There is nothing more bitter in this world than a difficult woman. As if asking a riddle, Rav said as he took leave of R’ chiyya, “May the Merciful One spare you from that which is harsher than death!” R’ chiyya pondered, “Is there really anything more harsh than death?” He then discovered a verse, “I have found a woman more bitter than death” (Koheles 7:26).

If it is a man’s lot to be married to such a woman however, he should tolerate her as much as he is able and leave room for making peace. It is said of Rav that his wife was difficult and made a habit of making him suffer. If he would ask of her, “Make me tilphichi,” she would make him chimtzi (a different type of legume). And if he would ask of her “make me chimtzi,” she would make him tilphichi. Thus it was with everything. When chiyya grew up, he began switching his father’s request. That is, if his father wanted chimtzi, he would tell his mother that his father wanted tilphichi. When his father saw that he was being served just what he asked for, he asked his son, “Has your mother improved her ways?” chiyya said, “I’m responsible; I told Mother the opposite.” Meaning, she remained adamantly re-bellious towards her husband, but chiyya had reversed his request.

Rav was pleased with the intelligence of his son, but he told him to discontinue the prac-tice, for it is written, “They have taught their tongues to speak falsely.” Though it may be true that the gemara (Yevamos 65b) permits altering the truth for the sake of peace, this is only if it is meant to avert a disaster. “But I know,” Rav said, “that I am capable of tolerat-ing her misdeeds and will not be insulted. Therefore, it is better that she remain rebellious, rather than you accustoming yourself to speak falsehood.”

Thus we see, Rav tolerated his wife and left room for making peace. Still greater is what was said of R’ chiyya, whose wife also used to cause him suffering. Despite this, when he would find something to buy for his wife that he thought she would appreciate, he would purchase it and wrap it in his kerchief, as the commoners would do, and bring it to her with affection. His students asked, “But she makes the master suffer!?” He replied, “It is enough that our wives raise our children and save us from sin,” [that is, from forbidden thoughts]. And if you find that your wife is easily appeased, then all the more so is it most appropriate to tolerate her shortcomings and let the benefits [of being married to her] outweigh the difficulties.

Rebbi Yitzchak taught R’ Yehudah his son, “‘I have found a woman more bitter than death’ — this refers to a woman like your mother.” But then he would also teach him, “‘No man finds satisfaction in any woman other than his first wife’ — as with your mother.” When his son asked about the apparent contradiction, Rebbi Yitzchak replied, “She is explosive, but she can be appeased with a word.”

43 cf. Erechin 16b. Rabbi chaim vital similarly writes in his acclaimed work Shaarei Kedusha (Shaar 2, ch. 8) “Every type of suffering brings atonement, even finding one’s shirt inside-out, and needing to turn it right-side out.”


y An upsetting dream.44

y Anguish suffered as a result of participation in a communal need. The Steipler gaon45 writes that anyone who gets involved with the needs of the community will certainly have much pain and anguish. In the merit of this suffering, these people merit much success, for “according to the pain is the reward.”

Although we have placed yissurim into different categories (physi-cal and emotional), they are not mutually exclusive. Take poverty,46 for instance: In addition to the physical pain of cold and hunger, the im-poverished person also bears despondency and humiliation.47 Indeed, the two categories often overlap.

44 cf.Brachos 55b, Rashi ad loc.45 Krayna D’Igresa, v. 1 §95.46 cf. Chagigah 9b.47 cf. Maharsha, ad loc., “Poverty is an all-encompassing class of suffering. That is why the

Torah compares it to a smelting furnace, which purifies metal from all types of impurities.”

Yissurim include any pain or suffering whatsoever,

whether physical or mental, even minor inconveniences

qualify

-2-

ReAsons FoR YissuRim

here’s an age-old question: Why do (good) people suffer? Although human beings cannot possibly un-derstand the way Hashem “thinks” or know conclu-sively the reasons He decided a person must suffer,

nonetheless, the Torah reveals many of the secrets as to why a person experiences pain. One who grasps these secrets will find himself highly enlightened, as he has an added dimension of in-sight as to why people suffer. In general, there are at least seven reasons why the Heavenly court might decree yissurim. Let us explore this in-triguing subject.

The reasons for yissurim:

1. Out of Divine Love.2. As a test.3. As a result of Divine vengeance.4. To spur a person to repent.5. As an atonement for one’s misdeeds.

There are many reasons for yissurim

42 Reasons for YissurimThis Too Is For The Best 43

6. As liability for others.7. As a preparation for the Messianic Era.

It is important to note that a person can bring suffering upon himself as a result of negligence. This is common. Such suffering is not considered yissurim, as will be elaborated upon at the end of this chapter.

1. Yissurim out of love As mentioned in the preface, a person’s troubles can be due

to previous sins. However, this is not always the case. Our Sages teach:48 If one has thoroughly reviewed his actions and his character and cannot find any infraction in deed or blemish in character to attribute as a reason for his hardship, then he can assume that his yissurim were sent “out of love.” In other words, Hashem might send a person yissurim, even if the person has done no wrong. This seems most puzzling. To make someone suffer for nothing? And to call it “Divine Love”?

Rashi49 helps us understand this difficult concept: “Hashem makes him go through yissurim in this world, though he has not sinned, in order to increase his reward in the World to come — more than what he deserved for his merits.” Hashem sends the tzaddik suffering out of His love for him to increase his portion in the World to come, beyond what he would otherwise deserve. However, fur-ther reflection is needed. How does this man’s pain in this world increase his reward — beyond his merits — in the eternal world? What is the connection?

One way to explain this can be found in what the Sages teach,50 “The righteous are held accountable for the sins of their generation.” The Shomer Emunim51 explains: “The suffering that a tzaddik endures

48 cf. Brachos 5a. s.v. yissurim; cf. Bava Metzia 85a. 49 Brachos 5a.50 Shabbos 33b, Kesuvos 8b.51 HaKadmon, one of the great Kabbalists of the times of the Achronim.

on account of his generation’s transgressions wipes away the judgment from the Jewish People as a whole.”52 In other words, it is possible for a person to suffer for no fault of his own, but rather as atonement for the sins of others in his generation. One example of this occurred in the days of Dovid HaMelech.53 Hashem sent an angel of destruction to smite the inhabitants of Yerushalayim, but reconsidered: “He said to the angel that was destroying the people, ‘Enough! Now hold back your hand.’” Rebbi Elazar, in the gemara, explains:54 “Hashem said to the angel, ‘I favor [taking one of] their leaders; for [his death] can settle many debts’. At that time, Avishai son of Tzruya passed away, whose stature equaled more than half of the Sanhedrin.”55

We have seen that a tzaddik can receive yissurim to atone for his generation. How does this work? The Ramchal, in Derech Hashem,56 addresses the issue:

The Sages teach57 that all of the Jewish People are ac-countable for one another. This means that the Jewish People are innately connected spiritually one to another. If one person does a transgression, others can also be sub-ject to bear the consequences as a result of this. On the other hand, the Sages also have informed us that the at-tribute of goodness is always stronger than the attribute of strict justice. As this is the case, it follows that just as someone can be held accountable for the sins of his fellow man, then all the more so someone can enjoy the bless-ings and bounty of the good deeds of his fellow man. It emerges from here, that one can have a situation where yissurim are visited upon one tzaddik, and that this will accomplish atonement for his entire generation … [and in

52 See also, Shlah HaKadosh, Asara Maamaros, Ma’amar Chamishi, §7.53 Shmuel 2 ch. 24.54 Brachos 62b.55 See another example of this concept in Melachim 1:22:17.56 Derech Hashem 2:3:8.57 Shavuos 39a.


the merit of accepting this hardship,] the tzaddik himself also attains great levels.58

To summarize, since all of the souls of the Jewish People are inti-mately connected, one person can atone for the sins of another. By ex-

tension, the pain of a righteous individual can sometimes atone for the entire gener-ation. Accordingly, as a result of having facilitated such atonement, the merits of this person are greatly increased.

These are deep and noble concepts, yet one more thing is still left to be under-

stood. As we learned, Rashi explains that the tzaddik receives reward beyond his merit. Why? It would seem that he does, in fact, merit the reward as a result of his suffering! The Ben Ish chai explains:59

If a man is perfectly righteous, then with the hardship he suffers he can spare the Jewish People … from immi-nent suffering, granting them a stay of Divine Wrath to allow time for repentance and other mitzvos. The tzaddik can then claim a stake in the reward of the repentance and good deeds that the Jewish People subsequently per-formed as a result of the stay of judgment given them …This is what Rashi meant when he wrote, “in order to in-crease his reward in the World to come more than what he deserved for his merits.”

A spellbinding explanation! Since the suffering of the tzaddik brings about a time of respite for the Jewish People, he takes part in the reward of all of the mitzvos performed due to that respite — thereby greatly increasing his reward, well beyond his own individ-ual merits.

58 See also Ramchal, Da’as Tevunos Sect. 166 where he explains a deeper esoteric reason why the righteous suffer without having sinned.

59 Ben Yehoyada on Brachos 5a.

Yissurim of love come to the righteous in

order to atone for the generation and give

them more merit

It is important to note that “yissurim of love” only happen to very holy people — those who haven’t even a blemish of sin, as we find above in the words of Rashi. As this is the case, ‘regular’ people should not attribute their yissurim to “yissurim of love,” but rather to one of the other reasons listed.

2. Yissurim as a testThere are cases where yissurim are sent as a test. An example

of this is the story of the Binding of Yitzchak where the Torah states,60 “And god tested Avraham.” Avraham Avinu understood that he was required to offer up his son as a sacrifice. This would be a nearly impossible challenge for any parent. for Avraham, the epitome of mercy and kindness, it was an even more formidable task. As is well-known, Avraham passed this test with flying col-ors.61 However, he was not alone in being tested. All of the Avos and Imahos underwent great tests, as one sees when reviewing Chumash Bereishis. Similarly, Iyov had a great test, and the list goes on.

It is clear that the tzaddikim are tested. Why?Our Sages62 offer the following par-

able: When the farmer knows the flax is strong, he strikes it repeatedly, to make it soft and fine. The lesson: Hashem only tests a great person who will remain strong and righteous, for if he withstands the test he will become even greater. Such were the holy Patriarchs and Matriarchs of our people, who withstood the tests they faced.

When passing a test, a person becomes greater. There remains an important question to be addressed: Why does Hashem need to test the righteous? Doesn’t Hashem already know the outcome, as it is

60 Bereishis 22:1.61 Avraham in fact faced ten such tests during the course of his lifetime. See Avos 5:3 with the

commentary of the Rambam for a description of the tests. 62 Bereishis Rabbah 32:3.

Why does God test the righteous?


written,63 “The hidden things are Hashem’s”? There are, at least, three answers to this question:

1. Tests actualize potential and thus increase reward

The Ramban explains64 that although Hashem certainly knows how each individual will perform during their tests, still, the reward we receive for what we actually do is far greater than the reward due to us for what we potentially ‘would’ do.

Thus, even though Hashem fully knows the future and thus knows that a tzaddik will certainly withstand his tests, He will nevertheless test the tzaddik in order to increase his reward in the Next World — for now he is being rewarded for a reality, not merely a potential. for added clarity, let’s consider the following scenario:

Once there was a king who wished to have a new royal robe. In his kingdom, there were two capable tailors. He hired both of them to work together and sew the

robe. Both would be paid gener-ously for their work. They began their work immediately, cutting,

trimming and stitching. Unfortunately, after just a few hours, the first tailor took ill, and the second tailor was left to finish the royal robe by himself. When it came time to get paid, the king was informed as to what had happened. The king paid the first tailor commensurate to the amount of work he had done, and so too he paid the second tailor. There was a vast difference between the salaries.

Now, the king certainly knew that the first tailor was prevented from working through no fault of his own. He certainly had the potential to do his part in its entirety; nevertheless, what the first tailor could have

63 Devarim 29:28.64 Shaar HaGemul ch. 2.

Tests bring potential into reality.

done cannot be compared to what the second tailor ac-tually accomplished.

Thus, just as the second tailor justly deserves more than the first for the extra efforts he invested, so too, the person who endures a test merits more rewards, as his potential was brought into reality.

2. Tests publicize a tzaddik’s greatness

The Menoras Hamaor65 explains that Hashem tests tzaddikim in order to publicize to others some of their true greatness. Sometimes, we know someone is special but do not quite appreciate just to what extent. In such cases, Hashem sometimes tests the tzaddik, to reveal to others a facet of greatness that was until now unrecognized. Take the following true story for an example.66

Rabbi Simcha Wasserman was in the hospital for his last and final visit. His days were numbered. The hospital staff recognized that this was not just another patient. They saw they were dealing with a man of great stature. How did they know? They saw how even though death hovered but a few hours away (as was obvious to all present including Rabbi Wasserman himself), nonetheless his total concern was dedicated exclusively for the welfare of his visitors, offering them words of consolation and encouragement. The staff was spellbound. Behavior of this nature by a man on his deathbed could only be made possible by a person who cultivated and perfected his character throughout the course of his entire life. It made a deep and lasting impression.

One can sometimes know a special Rav or Talmid Chochom, but once he bears witness to a great test that he endured, his appreciation of the righteous person grows, sometimes to no bounds.

65 Ner 5 Klal 3 Ch. 3.66 cited by Rabbi Noach Orlowek, My Disciple, My Child, introduction.

after weathering a test, one gains a new, deeper appreciation

of a Rav


3. Tests provide an example to be learned from

The Chovos HaLevavos writes 67 that the travails of a test are meant to teach others a lesson. A tzaddik facing a test teaches two lessons:

1. He does not lose his faith despite the difficult circumstances he faces.2. He shows how it is possible to serve Hashem with joy, in spite

of his situation.

The following true story proves this point:68

The late Rosh Yeshiva of the Mir, Rabbi Nachum Partzovits, who suffered for many years from physical frailty and illness,

never once complained about his dif-ficult situation. He tried with all his strength to ignore his suffering. When those close to him visited, they were

always greeted with his characteristically pleasant and shin-ing countenance. One visiting student drew up the courage to ask the Rosh Yeshiva how he was able to show such a pleasant face even as the pain was quite intense. The Rabbi explained that he conducted himself according to the Rosh Yeshiva of Lomza, Rabbi Yechiel Mordechai Gordon, who said, “A per-son’s face is akin to a public place, and the law states that it is forbidden for one to dig a pit in a public thoroughfare.”

Note: Although life abounds with tests, big ones and small ones alike, there are special tests of gigantic proportion that Hashem sends tzaddikim, as is written in Tehillim,69 “Hashem tests His righteous ones.” Therefore, a regular Torah Jew should not attribute his yissurim to this category.70

67 Shaar HaBitachon, ch. 3.68 cited in Orchos Chasidecha, p. 181.69 11:5. 70 We similarly find this point made in Shaarei Teshuvah 4:13, and Ramban in Shaar HaGemul

ch. 2.

Tests provide a healthy example for

others to follow

3. Yissurim of Divine Vengeance Regarding the destruction of the wicked town of Sodom, the To-

rah writes,71 “I shall descend, therefore, and see, if it is indeed like the cries that come to Me, then they (the angels of destruction) will perform demolition, but if not, I shall know.” Rashi explains that if they remain steadfast in their rebelliousness — Hashem shall cause destruction to befall them, but if they back down from their rebel-liousness, Hashem will not destroy them —rather He shall send them yissurim. consider carefully the implications of what is being said: if they do not change, they will be destroyed. In other words, there is a type of suffering meant to eliminate evil from the world — yissurim of vengeance. This is brought into sharp focus in the writings of the Shlah,72 “There is suffering that comes upon a person from Hashem to avenge. When a person has become despicable in the eyes of his creator, He sends upon him suffering in order to destroy this evil and eliminate him from the world...”

To be the target of Hashem’s vengeance is just about the worst-case scenario possible. But how can one know? Is there a way to iden-tify this type of yissurim? The answer is, yes. One indication is if the suffering descends swiftly and strongly, in one fell blow, and is unre-lenting — as we find in the example cited concerning the destruction of the inhabitants of Sodom.

furthermore, an average Torah Jew should not ever assume that his yissurim are of this kind. The reason for this is that we find stated concerning the people of Sodom,73 “And the people of Sodom were evil, and sinned greatly to Hashem.” Rashi explains, “They were evil — [they did evil] with their bodies, and sinned — with their money, greatly to Hashem — they knew their Master and intentionally re-belled against Him.” In other words, this type of suffering is reserved only for the utterly evil. This is also implied in the words of Rabbeinu

71 Bereishis 18:21.72 Maamar 5 of the Asara Maamaros.73 Bereishis 13:13.


Yona brought above, who describes those who suffer destruction as being “the enemies of Hashem.” Indeed, the vilna gaon in his commen-tary on Mishlei,74 says explicitly that the average person should not assume that his yissurim are those of vengeance.75

4. Yissurim inspire a person to repentThere is another type of yissurim whose purpose is to arouse a per-

son to reflect upon his deeds and to repent for his sins, as is written,76 “You humble a man and say, ‘Repent, sons of man.’”

Our Sages say,77 “If a man sees that he is suffering, he should in-spect his deeds.” The Shaarei Teshuvah states:78 “The rebuke of Hash-

em…is meant to remind a person to re-pent from his evil ways…” Even the evil King Menashe, who ignored the lessons and role modeling of his father, the righ-teous King chizkiyahu, finally repented

— but only when he was “visited” with yissurim.79 We see, therefore, there is a type of yissurim whose purpose is to

subdue a person in order to bring him to reconsider his deeds and repent. However, we must ask an honest question here: Is there no other way of motivating a person to repent? Why does Hashem need to send yissurim? The Ran explains:80

When a man is in a state of tranquility, he does not rec-ognize nor seek to know why he was created. This is due to the fact that he is faced with a constant barrage of

74 3:11-12.75 Based upon the above, we may gain a possible explanation of a cataclysmic event. In the

year 2004 a seismic tremor set off a tsunami wave which flooded the coastal areas of Thai-land. The entire world bore witness to the destruction of almost 300,000 people in the span of only a few minutes. Thailand is a country famed as an epicenter for immorality.

76 Tehillim 90:3.77 Brachos 5a.78 2:3; see also Sanhedrin 101a, and Orchos Tzaddikim in Shaar HaTeshuvah.79 See Sanhedrin 101a.80 Drush 10.

One of the most common reasons for yissurim is to inspire

repentance

materialistic lures which blur the correct vision of this world and what it affords. However, once he finds himself engulfed in yissurim, he is no longer seduced by material-ism, and begins to see the world in the light of truth…

According to the Ran’s insight, in normal circumstances, only a person who is blinded by temporal pleasures and ignores Hashem’s will needs to undergo this type of yissurim. It seems, therefore, that one who is constantly reviewing his actions and improving them will be (largely or completely) exempted from yissurim of this nature — as their function of motivating repentance has already been filled.

Interestingly, yissurim to inspire repentance are not restricted to one’s own personal suffering. Even witnessing someone else’s yissurim is meant to motivate one to take heed and repent. The Sages teach in the gemara,81 “Rebbi Elazar said: calamity only comes upon the world for the sake of the Jew-ish People, as it is written,82 ‘I have cut off the nations, their towers are abandoned, I have destroyed their marketplaces.’ And it is written: ‘I have said, “Would that you (the Jewish People) but fear Me and take the lesson.”’ Rashi explains: “for the sake of the Jewish People — to make them fear, so they will repent.”

The Ran explains at greater length:83

Sometimes calamity strikes in distant places and islands. The purpose for this is to arouse the Jewish People to re-pent, that they should see and become afraid lest they suf-fer the same lot … but when they fail to become moved upon witnessing such things, the calamities continue, drawing closer and closer. Without a doubt, a person who sees these tragic events, which are in fact warning signals

81 Yevamos 63a.82 Tzefaniah 3:6.83 Drashos 6.

One person’s yissurim can inspire another

person to repent


sent from god, yet still continues in his old ways is com-pared to a person who committed an offense, and was con-sequently warned against doing it again. If he were to now repeat the offense, he certainly deserves severe retribution.

Yissurim are meant to arouse both the ‘victim’ and bystanders to repent.

5. Yissurim as atonementWhile the idea of suffering as atonement is well known at a basic

level, many parts of the process are less understood. These points have great rami-fications in our daily lives and deserve more understanding. The Midrash states,84 “Rebbi Akiva said … a person should re-

joice over hard times more than over good occurrences, for if a man has only goodness all his days, the sins he has committed will remain unfor-given. How are they forgiven? With yissurim.” It is clear that there are yissurim whose purpose is to atone for one’s sins. Yet, this begs the question: We learned before that there are yissurim which are sent to spur a person to repent his ways, and here we see that there are yissurim sent for atonement. How are we to distinguish between the two? Are the yissurim we face for atonement or to motivate repentance?

The answer lies in the words of the Ra’ah who says,85 “If a person encounters any yissurim, he should rejoice, and have in mind that they are atonement....” We see from here that one has a license to attribute all of his yissurim to atone for his transgressions. Similarly, Rashi writes in Tehillim,86 “No difficulty befalls a person, unless he has transgressed.” In fact, this principle is an explicit gemara:87 “There is no suffering with-

84 Devarim Rabbah 32.85 Brachos 9a.86 Tehillim 107:11.87 Shabbos 55a. It is worthy of mention that the Chafetz Chaim encoded this principle in the

Mishneh Berurah, Siman 222 s,p, 4.

The main reason for yissurim is

atonement

out sin, as it is written,88 ‘I shall visit them with the staff of their own sins and with the afflictions of their own transgressions.’”89

In light of the above, we can reconcile the two concepts. It is true that a person should attribute all of his yissurim to atonement. At the same time, however, a person should regard them as a type of heav-enly reminder to consider his ways and repent from any evil. That is to say, yissurim serve a dual purpose; they serve to atone while at the same time remind one to examine his conduct. We find this concept in the Midrash90 quoting the Navi in Eicha:91

Let us investigate our ways and do introspection, and return to Hashem. What does the Navi wish to convey in this verse? He wishes to teach us that the yissurim which come to a person, all emanate from his own actions be-cause Hashem rules with perfect justice. There are no mistakes. Therefore, the Navi tells us, that when a person is visited with yissurim, he should say to himself, “What

88 Tehillim 89:33.89 It is evident from here that the primary cause of yissurim is sin. Based on this the Sefer

HaChinuch (Mitzvah 241) in explaining the prohibition not to take vengeance, shares a fascinating insight: “Amongst the reasons why one must not exact vengeance is to instill within a person the idea that everything that befalls a person, for the better or for the worse, is from Hashem. Included in this is what one suffers at the hands of his fellow man. Therefore, when one has been made to suffer as a result of what another person did to him, he should realize that it is his own transgressions which are to blame. They are the true cause. Thus, he should not think about how to take revenge from the person who caused him pain, as he was not the real cause.” The Chafetz Chaim used to give the following anal-ogy: There was once a man who found it appropriate to beat his dog with a stick. The dog responded by biting the stick, attributing the stick to his pains. When we blame someone else for our pains, are we not like the dog that bites the stick?

90 Midrash Aggadah, Vayikra 14:2.91 3:40.

Yissurim serve as atonement while

at the same time, a catalyst for Teshuva


have I done to warrant these yissurim?” and from there to introspect his ways, and to repent.

Yissurim are custom-tailoredWe have seen that all yissurim bear with them a measure of atone-

ment. Interestingly, if we pay careful attention to the specifics of the yissurim, we can sometimes discern the exact sin for which they came to atone. Rabbeinu Yona writes:92

[Heaven] exacts restitution from a person with calcula-tion. How is this done? When a person knows and re-members the transgression he commits, and when the punishment comes to him, he recognizes and is aware that it has come because of a particular sin. great is this person, for in this he justifies Heaven’s judgment and he will repent, and the sin will be atoned.

Practically speaking, how can one possibly know which sin brought forth specific yissurim? Who can fathom Hashem’s deep calculations?

The logic is as follows: Yissurim come as atonement. If so, they must be custom designed specifically for the person receiving them, to atone for the specific sin committed. connected to this concept is that Hashem gives a person his travails measure-for-measure — in-dicating that the type of yissurim themselves hint to the reason they came. Thus, the enlightened person, by contemplating the nature of his yissurim, stands to discover the purpose for why they came, and is enabled to repent thoroughly. Under the correct circumstances, this can serve to preclude the necessity of any future yissurim resulting from that sin. The Avi Ezri writes explicitly: 93

You surely know that all punishments through which Hashem makes a person suffer, are all for a sin

92 Avos 3:16.93 Vayikra 26:21 in the Mikraos Gedolos.

committed. He makes him suffer with a punishment that is similar in kind to the sin … so that the person should know clearly that this is no coincidence, but is the hand of Hashem that has struck, that he may turn away from the brink of the abyss, and make up his mind not to sin in this way again.

We glean from the words of the Avi Ezri a lesson in Divine Providence. Yissurim and the sins that bring them on bear strik-ing similarities. Examples of this principle are given in the Ge-mara Sotah:94

Shimshon strayed after his eyes, therefore, the Philistines gored out his eyes… Avshalom was prideful over his hair, therefore he was hanged by his hair.

One can argue that measure-for-measure yissurim only applied in the times when the Shechina, god’s very presence, dwelled openly in our midst. However, in our times, where the coun-tenance of Hashem is hidden from the world (hester panim), the punishments we receive no longer carry with them this measure of exacting Divine Providence. The Rambam refutes this claim. He writes that even in our days, it is still possible to ascertain for which sin a difficulty is meant to atone. The Rambam writes:95

Hillel once saw a severed head floating upon the water. He said to it, “You drowned someone, so you were drowned; and in the end those who drowned you shall also be drowned.” This means that evil acts return upon the head of those who perpetrate them... The Sages say, one is treated measure-for-

94 9b.95 Avos 2:6.

It is sometimes possible to discern

which sin brought on which yissurim


measure commensurate with his conduct and this can be plainly seen in every moment, period and place.96

One of the side advantages of this incredible Divine Precision is that the person cognizant of it will be continually strengthened in his trust in Hashem as he regularly sees the Divine Hand in his life. The person becomes increasingly encouraged to remain aloof from any evil and to strive for perfection. This can be akin to a per-son who witnesses miracles on a consistent basis becoming more and more aware of Hashem’s intimate involvement in his life, and thus becoming spiritually stronger and stronger. The Shevet Mus-sar explains:97

When a person consistently recognizes the connection between his yissurim and the sin he committed, he will set firmly in his heart that god runs all the affairs of man and counts his steps. This will move him to bring his uncircumcised heart to accept the fear [of Heaven], as he realizes there is One Who sees, and he will choose good and spurn evil. Neither will he allow his embarrass-ment of others to prevent him from fulfilling the Torah and its mitzvos, for since he accepts Hashem’s Provi-dence over all His creatures, the Day of Judgment also becomes an inescapable reality. His very kidneys will ad-vise him: Why should the derision of people prevent me from fulfilling the words of the Living god? Will he be able to say, “Master of the Universe, I was embarrassed of this man, but not of You?”

This concept (that the nature of one’s yissurim reflect their spiri-tual causes) was applied with great success by one of the great Rosh Yeshivas of our times:

96 See also Ruach Chaim 3:16.97 6:9.

The Rosh Yeshiva, R’ Isser Zalman Meltzer, was teaching a class to his students in his home. Suddenly, his wife cried out from the kitchen, “The milk boiled over!”

This may have been a common occurrence in any house, but R’ Isser Zalman understood it differently. He interrupted his class and entered the kitchen. He held a brief conversation with the Rebbetzin and promptly left the house. The students had never before seen their Rav take a break in the middle of learning, even for serious matters, and they were dumbfound-ed. What explanation could there be for interrupting Torah study for such a small matter as spilled milk?

When R’ Isser Zalman returned, he explained to his stu-dents: “It is no chance occurrence that the milk boiled over. It was decreed from Heaven. We were obligated to look into why this happened and correct whatever caused it. As it turned out, today the Rebbetzin neglected to pay the milkman his wages for bringing the milk to the house. Therefore I was ob-ligated to go immediately and pay him the debt. Are we not commanded, ‘You shall pay his wages on that very day?’”

R’ Isser Zalman did not just know that there is no such thing as coincidence, he lived it. Everything happens by Heavenly decree for a reason, even the milk spilling over.

caveat: Although it is possible to trace the source of our yissurim — even in today’s world — it is not always possible. There are times when yissurim are sent in a fashion that the recipient bears no chance of fathoming the purpose for why they came. Under what circum-stances does this occur? If a person repeatedly commits the same transgression. In a case like this, a person loses the privilege of having the yissurim guide him to understanding what was done wrong. The Avi Ezri writes,98 “If a person transgresses many times and looks at the violation as if it is permissible, then that person is prevented from being able to see the sin through his punishment. Hashem will punish

98 Vayikra 26:21.


him in an unusual manner that he will not be able to draw the connec-tion between the offense and the hardship suffered in its wake.”

Atonement is conditionalThe fact that yissurim are an atonement is not as simple as it

sounds. The gemara points out an important precondition:99 “Perhaps [yissurim atone for a person] even if he does not accept them with love? Thus we are taught, ‘If you willingly set your soul as a guilt offer-ing’100 — just as a guilt offering must be brought willingly (in order to atone), so too, yissurim must be accepted willingly.”

A person’s atonement is contingent on his acceptance of the yis-surim. One who doubts the heavenly justice of his yissurim greatly compromises the atoning factor involved in the process.

Rabbeinu Yona writes:101 If he does not accept the suffering and does not humble himself in face of the rebuke, he fails to circumcise his thick heart. Woe to him and his soul, for he has borne the burden of suffering and his transgres-sion, but it was not atoned.

So too the Pele Yoetz writes:102

He should not act like the foolish ones who kick and grow angry. When they fall or stumble they blame the

Heavenly Tribunal of a mistaken verdict. Woe to these who inher-it a double portion of purgatory, for they undergo suffering for

99 Brachos 5a.100 Yeshaya 53:10.101 Shaarei Teshuvah 2:3.102 Erech “yissurim.”

Yissurim only atone if they are accepted

willingly

naught and even add to their sinfulness by suspecting the Divine Justice.

The lesson is clear: Yissurim can atone for a person only on condi-tion that he accepts them and does not reject them. It is important to note, that accepting yissurim does not mean being happy and content with them. Accepting yissurim means that the person accepts the Di-vine Justice rendered, albeit hard and bitter. With this recognition, his yissurim effect atonement. A person who has elevated himself to the level of thanking Hashem for his yissurim, or is happy over them, greatly enhances the quality of atonement, as will be seen later.103

6. Yissurim as liability for others“All Jews are responsible for one another.”104 We are all con-

nected spiritually. As a consequence, it is possible for one person’s punishment for a sin, to affect others as well. The Malbim explains as follows:105 “All of the Jewish People are connected as one body, to the point that each individual is related to the whole community, just as a limb is related to the body. Accordingly, just as the crip-pling or loss of a single part of the body affects the entire body, so too if one sins, it has a great effect on the whole.”

We find evidence for this type of yissurim in the Torah:106 “One man stumbles over his brother, as if running from the sword, but there is no pursuer.” Rabbeinu Bachaye107 explains that one man stumbles over the sin of his brother, since all are accountable for one another. This idea is echoed in the episode concerning Achan. He was the lone thief, yet all of the Jewish People were held accountable for his trans-gression, as it is written,108 “The Jewish People have sinned, they have

103 chapters 4 and 6.104 Shavuos 39a.105 Yehoshua 7:1.106 Vayikra 26:37.107 Ibid.108 Yehoshua 7:11.


stolen, denied and placed the goods in their vessels.” One individual committed an error, yet the burden was placed on the shoulders of the entire nation.109

Our Sages teach in the Midrash:110 “To the garden of walnuts did I descend…” Why are the Jewish People compared to a walnut? When one takes a single walnut from the basket, all of them roll and shake one after the other, so too with the Jewish People. If one of them is struck, all of them feel it, as it is written,111 “One man has sinned, but You become angered at the entire community.”112

It appears that a person has no chance of avoiding hardship in life. Even while he is careful not to sin at all, someone else will surely sin and he will be dragged along with him. Is a person doomed to suffer on account of other peoples mistakes? In truth, yissurim of this nature are greatly limited both in scope and frequency. firstly, only the most serious of violations are punishable in this way; for example, the sin of false oaths.113 Secondly, we find114 that punishment of this sort only occurs at a time of general Divine Wrath, something which is rare and exceptional.115 Being that it is rare to have all these conditions met, it would be a mistake for one to attribute his sufferings to this.

However, when one is in a position to successfully prevent anoth-er from sinning, but holds back from doing so, he can be punished for that other’s sin. Although he did not play an active role in the sin, he is

109 See Ralbag on Yehoshua, ibid, who explains at length why thirty six people died on account of Achan’s sin, yet Achan himself, did not die.

110 Shir HaShirim Rabbah Parsha 6.111 Bamidbar 16.112 See Bava Kama 92a with Rashi. Also see Bereishis Rabsi (Parshas Vayeshev, p. 179) where the

sin of a Jew is compared to a ship in which one of its cabins has a leak. We do not say, “a cabin has a leak”, but rather “the entire ship is sinking,” as it is written, “the Jewish People have sinned…”

113 As is mentioned by the RiMiGash on Shavuos 39a.114 See the sefer Mizrach HaShamash on Navi Yehoshua ch. 22.115 With these quantifications, we gain a new approach to understand why many righteous

people died in the Holocaust. In those most difficult times many people strayed from the Torah path of life and joined the Haskalah, a movement that replaced sound Torah values for empty secular beliefs. It was a time when many people were performing great sins, and most certainly was a time of Divine Wrath.

nonetheless given partial ‘credit’ for it, since he could have stopped it. The gemara states,116 “Anyone who could have objected to the deeds of the members of his household but did not do so shall be held accountable (Rashi: and punished for the sins they committed). Similarly, one who could have objected to the deeds of the people of his town or country and yet failed to do so shall be held accountable for their violations.” The Rambam likewise writes :117

One who sees his friend sin or sees him becoming ac-customed to improper conduct, should know that it is a mitzvah to bring him back to the right path and to let him know he is doing wrong against himself with his evil deeds, as it is written, “You shall surely rebuke your na-tion,”… and anyone who could have protested and did not, shall be punished for the sins of these people, since he could have stopped them.118

7. Yissurim to prepare for the messianic eraThe Sages have revealed to us that in the days preceding the ar-

rival of Mashiach there will be great travails in store for the world in general and for the Jewish People in particular. The gemara says:119

Rebbi Zeira said in the name of Rebbi Yirmiyah bar Abba: The generation in which Ben Dovid (i.e. the Mashiach) comes, there will be accusations against the Torah scholars

116 Shabbos 54b.117 Mishnah Torah, Hil. Deos 6:7.118 See also the Meiri on Shabbos 54b. Some words of advice concerning rebuke: When one

contemplates correcting the conduct of someone else, one needs first to ascertain that the other person indeed is objectively wrong. Second, when administrating the rebuttal, the Sages advise us to do so using gentle words (if possible, words spoken out of sincere love) (See Shabbos 34a). Third, one must be careful not to embarrass the one receiving the rebuke, for example if rebuking one in the presence of others (See Vayikra 19:17). fourth, if it is likely that the words of rebuke will inspire the one being rebuked to hate the one giving the rebuttal, one is exempted from rebuking him (See Biur Halacha 608 dh. Chai-ev).

119 Kesuvos 112b.


[Rashi: many accusers will rise up against them]. When this forecast was repeated to Shmuel, he said, “There will be one decree after another, as it is written,120 ‘Then, upon the tenth I shall place My hand and it shall burn’ [Rashi: only a tenth of the Jewish People will remain, and even this remnant will experience burning]. Rav Yosef taught: They will be ransacked, and ransacked again.

These calamities will be of unprecedented proportions, both in their scope and in their nature, as the Midrash foretells:121

Rebbi Levy said in the name of Rebbi Iddi: The amount of yissurim that has been ordained for this world is divided into three portions. One portion is taken by the Patri-archs and all of the generations, one portion is taken by the generation of shmod (i.e. all of the generations that have suffered as a result of decrees issued against the ob-servance of Torah122), and one portion is taken by the gen-eration that greets Mashiach.

The Shomer Emunim explains the implications:123

This that the Midrash states that, “One portion is taken by the Patriarchs and all of the generations,” means that

all of the poverty, illness, captivity and other yissurim of every individ-ual of every generation, comprises one of the three portions of yis-surim allotted to the world. It fol-lows then, that the sum total of all

of that suffering equals the amount of yissurim borne by those exposed to the decrees of shmod. The last portion of

120 Yeshaya 6:13.121 Shochar Tov 16.122 As is explained in the sefer Shomer Emunim.123 In the introduction.

Yissurim purify the world in preparation

for the coming of Mashiach

suffering is reserved solely for the generation greeting Mashiach. Albeit only a single generation, there will be such a prevalence of hardships that it will equal a third of all of the yissurim destined for the world.

This concept is frightening. The yissurim that can be expected to meet the Messianic Era will rival the amount of suffering the world has experienced from the dawn of history until that very time! We can surmise that this will be a terrible period of time, witnessing epic proportions of calamity, destruction and havoc without parallel in the annals of history. The obvious question: “Why is this necessary?”

To begin to understand, let’s look at what is necessary for Mashiach. The Messianic times demand a degree of purity, requiring a process of eliminating impurities and refining the good elements which already exist. This takes place chiefly through the elevation of the Jewish Peo-ple, after which the rest of the world follows. The Maharsha writes,124 “If the Jewish People are found worthy, then they are likened to pure silver for which purification is unnecessary. But if they are not pure, then they are likened to impure metal which must be subjected to pu-rification… until they will be pure silver then we may merit the arrival of Mashiach.” In order to be elevated, we must first undergo some kind of degeneration. This occurs on a personal level, and in the future will occur on a global level. The Aruch LaNer explains:125

The natural order is that every good thing, when it rises up and adds to its perfection, loses some of its original gradeur at the very beginning. This can be illustrated by a grain of wheat. Before being planted the grain is edible, but upon being sown in the ground it deteriorates and decomposes, and only afterward sprouts forth a fresh new shoot capable of producing several more grains. Hence we see that deterioration preceded the elevation. The same is true of a man in this world. Before he can

124 Kesuvos 112b.125 Sanhedrin 96b.


attain the life of the World to come after the resurrec-tion of the dead, his body must first decompose in the ground. Only then will he be enabled to attain the addi-tional level necessary for his ensuing existence. This also explains why in the days preceding the Messianic Era, mankind will sink to a dismal level, that the righteous will be few in number and the Torah and her scholars will be neglected, because as mentioned, before the el-evation there must be degeneration.

Another question: Even if the world needs to become pure to greet Mashiach, why does the process need to be so extreme? Why can’t small measures of yissurim suffice?

The answer is deep. The tribulations that will transpire in the gen-eration of Mashiach come also with the purpose of revealing the ab-solute unity of god in the world.126 To achieve this goal in its entirety, there is a need to increase the powers of evil greatly, and then nullify them. The Ramchal explains,127 “At the end of the exile, Hashem will bring about the perfection of the world in general. Out of the great concealment of the Divine countenance shall be born the great reve-lation, and perfection shall be bestowed upon the world.” He explains this concept in greater detail in his work, Da’as Tevunos:128

This is one of the principles of the Divine Unity, to demonstrate the power of His complete reign… and that it is not limited in any way, shape or form by evil… Hashem permits and has left a place for evil to do all it is able to do, but in the end, even as the evil increases its burden on mankind, so too, shall the power of god’s unity and omnipotence be revealed in the exposure of His mighty kingdom, and out of the depth of the many

126 I.e. to bring the whole world the awareness that Hashem is One, and that He’s Om-nipotent.

127 In his work entitled Klalim Rishonim.128 Siman 40.

sufferings and evil, shall sprout salvation, through His great strength.

That is to say, that in accordance to the depths of the darkness shall there be the exposure of light. In Messianic times, Divine Unity needs to be exposed more than it has ever been exposed. Therefore, this has to be preceded by a great darkness, as only in accordance to the scope of the darkness, can the light be appreciated.129

Is there a way one can discern if our sufferings are part of the yis-surim of the Messianic Era or if they are ‘regular’ individual yissurim? The answer is yes. The Messianic yissurim have a set order and style, making them easy to identify.

identifying messianic era sufferingThe Sages130 have likened the Messianic yissurim to birth pangs.

The Chafetz Chaim131 expounds on this in the name of the vilna gaon:

The exile can be compared to pregnancy, and the end of the exile is likened to giving birth. It is known that when a woman is about to give birth, at the moment when the contractions overwhelm her to the point that she cannot take them any longer, the midwife comforts her by saying, “This is a sign that the baby is about

129 Although the times preceding the Messianic Era will be tough, nonetheless there is a great light at the end of the tunnel. With the advent of these times, war and destruction, sick-ness and famine, jealousy and strife will simply cease to exist. Riches, health and peace will prevail. Everyone will be content and happy. They will rejoice in god, and He will rejoice in them. Prophecy will abound like water. The joy and elation associated with these times can-not be put into words. The reader is referred to the Nevi’im Yeshaya, Yecheskel and Zacharia with the associated commentaries for more on the Messianic Era.

130 See Kesuvos 111a. “Bavel will not see the birth pangs of Mashiach.” See also Shabbos 118a “Anyone who eats three meals on Shabbos merits to be saved from three travails —the birth pangs of Mashiach, the suffering of Gehinom and the war of Gog and Magog.

131 Shem Olam, Shaar Hischazkus, ch. 12.

Messianic yissurim come in waves, like a birthing mother’s

contractions


to be born.” … the nature of birth pangs is that they come and then subside for a short time between [for without this respite the woman would die on the birth stool], and then the contractions resume.

Similarly, the travails accompanying the approach of the Messianic Age will pulse. There will be periods of rela-tive calm, just as there are with birth pangs. These periods of calm will get progressively smaller, each wave coming more rapidly after the one before it and becoming more intense as Mashiach approaches, exactly like birth pangs.

The very times we live in today are referred to as ‘the footsteps of Mashiach’ (Ikvesa d’Meshicha).132 This means to say that his arrival is imminent. Indeed, I heard from one of the foremost Kabbalistic scholars that there has never been a time more ripe for the arrival of Mashiach than our present times.

Being that this is the case, we can expect to see epic calamities to strike the world, becoming progressively stronger and more fre-quent, akin to childbirth. Thus the wise person will resign himself to this reality from the outset to accept all of this suffering favorably without complaint. This will stand him in good stead. As others are frantic and behave without rhyme or reason, he is calm and stead-fast in his faith. True, there will be great difficulty, but the world is not going to end. great miracles will transpire, easily overshadow-ing the ten plagues and associated miracles which occurred when leaving Egypt.133 furthermore, at the end of the travails will be the great revelation of Hashem’s unity — which usher with it unparal-leled happiness and prosperity.

considering the sources we have just quoted, it is easy to get the impression that Mashiach cannot come until the whole world has suf-fered enormously. However, we should keep in mind that Mashiach

132 cf. Tanya; also the concluding remarks of the Chafetz Chaim in his sefer, Shem Olam.133 See Gemara Brachos 12b.

can come at any moment, as our Sages state,134 “Today he will come, if we heed Hashem’s voice.” Indeed, this is the last of the Rambam’s Thirteen Principles of faith: “I believe with perfect faith in the coming of Mashiach, and even though he tarries, nevertheless I wait every day for him to come.”135 from here it would seem that a person’s “regu-lar” yissurim should not be attributed to preparation for Mashiach, but rather as atonement, since they do not follow the above said pattern of childbirth.

8. suffering due to negligenceThere is a type of suffering that a person bears solely as a result of

his own negligence. Indeed, the majority of a person’s troubles fall into this category, as is mentioned in the Gemara Yerushalmi,136 “The Rabbis say: ninety-nine die by negligence, and one by the hand of god.” The Rambam adds clarity :137

Most of a person’s trouble comes from what he causes to himself, such as getting involved in dis-putes, or by overindulging in food or intimacy, or by taking hazard-ous risks to become wealthy. Hashem will not perform a miracle to save a person who conducts himself without logic. Regarding these types of travails the verse says:138

134 Sanhedrin 98a.135 One may ask: How can Mashiach come today? Did we not just learn that a purification

process must precede his arrival? One answer is, that if we can elevate ourselves enough through Torah, teshuva and tzedakah, the purification will be achieved through these means, precluding the need for other more difficult ways of spiritual purification, as the Sages teach, that Torah, teshuva and tzedakah hastens the redemption (See Gemara Sanhe-drin 99b, Yoma 86b, Bava Basra 10a, and Yalkut Shimoni Yeshayahu 484).

136 Shabbos 75b.137 Moreh Nevuchim 3:12.138 Mishlei 19:3.

Most of our troubles are due to our own negligence, not to

yissurim


“A man’s own blunder causes his ways to fail, but his heart blames god.”

This is a most startling point: Suffering resulting from negligence accounts for most human suffering. What types of suffering are we referring to? Here are some examples:

1. One who suffers from various ailments as a result of neglect-ing to take care of his body, including overeating or consistent-ly eating foods deplete of nutritional value, smoking, alcohol abuse or lack of exercise.139

2. One who falls ill yet refrains from seeing a physician or neglects to adhere to his instruction.

3. One who, out of laziness, cannot hold a job or find a suitable means of income and becomes poverty-stricken.

4. One who is haughty and consistently has his feelings hurt as he feels people do not give him the respect he deserves.

5. One who is easy to anger and, as a result, suffers great marital strife, becomes consistently embroiled in heated disputes and other aggravating circumstances.

6. One who finds himself in a dangerous place, but does not flee.140

7. One who shows off the blessings he has been graced with. This is considered a form of negligence because through this, he causes other to be jealous of him, thus drawing himself “the evil eye.”141

139 This is evident from the above quoted Rambam and Shomer Emunim. It would appear that some of the most prevalent health problems present in the modern world (obesity, diabe-tes, etc.) can be traced to some aspect of the abovementioned types of bodily negligence.

140 As mentioned in Rema, Yoreh De’ah 116:5; See Biur haGra, No. 16.141 The Shomer Emunim writes: Many things happen to a person due to his own foolishness. If

a man received some type of benefit, it is proper for him to conceal this from other people and certainly not bring attention to it, because there are many accusers, both spiritual and physical, and they can cast upon him the evil eye ... which might succeed to break the blessing. The holy Zohar suggests that one who flaunts to others the good things that he has, is considered like he has performed a transgression as it is written, “Yaakov said to his children, ‘Why do you show off?’”

can such ‘negligence-suffering’ atone for a person’s transgres-sions? The Shomer Emunim addresses the question:142

There is suffering brought on by people’s negligence such as sniffles and colds, etc. One who brings such troubles upon himself will be taken to task for it in the Next World … Know too, that all the travails, evil and sickness that befall a person due to his poor eating habits or his habit of doing dangerous things etc. are not in the category of heavenly-sent yissurim to affect atonement (or other benefits of yissurim).

There is no redeeming factor to the suffering a person has on ac-count of his own negligence, laziness or stupidity. Such suffering ru-ins a person’s life here in this world and provides no atonement in the World to come. Our negligence in fulfilling our responsibilities only brings harm.

142 HaKadmon, Vikuach 2, Siman 8.

The suffering of negligence does

not atone — it only brings harm

Accepting Yissurim 71

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ACCePting YissuRim

ccepting yissurim is a great mitzvah.Our Sages teach:143

One is as obligated to give thanks for bad tid-ings in the same manner as for good tidings, as

it is written,144 “And you shall love Hashem your god … with all your measure,” meaning that for every measure (circumstance) that god measures out for you, you should thank Him. Rava said: this teaches us that we need to ac-cept yissurim gladly.

The gemara is teaching that one fulfills the positive command-ment of loving Hashem by accepting yissurim and not complaining

143 Brachos 54a.144 Devarim 6:5.

Loving hashem with all our hearts includes accepting

yissurim gladly

about them.145 However, this needs clarity. What precisely does it mean to “accept” yissurim? Does it mean that we are obliged only to be resigned to them and not complain, or perhaps the intention is that we are expected to be happy over them. This is a point of dispute amongst the great rabbinic authorities.

Rashi146 maintains that it is enough for one to wholeheartedly ac-cept his yissurim, and by doing so, he fulfills the Divine precept of lov-ing god. In contrast, the Rambam147 writes that accepting suffering is included in the “exceptional love” we are required to have for god, and that we should give thanks and praise for them with happiness.

The law in this matter has been decided in favor of Rashi, as we find encoded in the Tur and Shulchan Aruch.148 It is worthy to note that Rashi would concur that it is commendable and a mitzvah to be happy over one’s yissurim, but according to his opinion this is not obligatory.

Something here requires explanation. How can there be a mitz-vah to rejoice over yissurim? Are the widow and orphan supposed to rejoice over the death of their husband and father? Is this really the Torah’s approach to tragedy? It sounds callous and cruel. fur-thermore, when Shlomo HaMelech describes the Torah in the Book of Mishlei,149 he writes, “All her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all of her pathways are peaceful.” Is it really pleasant and peaceful to rejoice over suffering?

the secret of rejoicing over YissurimOur Sages say150 that if one’s father dies and he is an inheritor,

he should first recite the blessing of “Baruch Dayan HaEmes,” the blessing recognizing and declaring the Divine Justice involved in the tragedy. After, he is instructed to recite the blessing of “Baruch

145 See Rambam in his commentary to Mishnah, Brachos 10:3.146 Brachos 60b.147 adloc.148 Orach Chaim 222 §3.149 3 :17.150 Brachos 59b.

72 Accepting YissurimThis Too Is For The Best 73

HaTov v’HaMeitiv,” the blessing of gratitude pertaining to the in-heritance received.

The Sages draw a distinction between the actual tragedy in and of itself, and the positive outcome which emanates as a result. Pertaining to the actual tragedy, we say the blessing recogniz-ing the Divine Justice involved, but we certainly do not rejoice over it. However, pertaining to the side benefits which accrue to a person as a result of the death, we express our gratitude with a different blessing. This idea is echoed in the Midrash:151 “He cre-ated the fire of Gehinom on the second day (of creation), which was not qualified by the phrase, ‘ki tov — for it was good.’” The Etz Yosef quotes the Yafe Toar, “‘good’ cannot be said about the

day in which evil was created. Even though [the fire of Gehinom] is good in that it is used to purify people [who will then be able to take their place in Gan Eden], nevertheless, its essence is evil and cannot be said to be good.”

Although Gehinom has positive side results, Gehinom in and of itself, is not considered “good.”

Bringing all of this together, we draw two lessons about suffering:

1. We are expected to accept the fact of our suffering wholeheart-edly, to recognize that it is a Heavenly Decree and not complain about it.

2. We have a mitzvah (although not an obligation) to rejoice over the beneficial consequences of our suffering, such as atonement for our sins.152

Once, Reb Shmelke of Nickolsberg asked the Maggid of Miz-rich how best to fulfill the words of our Sages, “One is obli-gated to give thanks for bad tidings in the same manner as

151 Tanchuma, Chayei Sarah §3.152 See more on the benefits of yissurim in chapter 6.

We rejoice over the positive outcomes of

the tragedy, certainly not over the tragedy

itself

for good tidings.” The Maggid told him, “Go to Reb Zusha of Anipoli; he will give you the answer.” [Reb Zusha lived in ab-ject poverty and also suffered from a variety of debilitating illnesses.] Reb Shmelke went to visit Reb Zusha as his Rebbe instructed, and when he got there, he asked his question. Reb Zusha was surprised over the question and said, “That is a question you have to ask of someone who has suffered; Baruch Hashem, I’ve had nothing but good all my days…”

Reb Zusha understood that the side benefits of suffering out-weigh their ‘cost’ by several orders of magnitude, and therefore, he appreciated the positive outcomes of his yissurim and was content and happy, even throughout all of his great difficulties.

Accepting the Divine JudgmentWe have seen that one is obliged to accept his yissurim wholeheart-

edly. There is another important concept associated with this. One who finds himself with troubles should recognize the Divine Justice rendered. In Hebrew, this concept is called “Tziduk HaDin”. According to the opinion of the Smag, this constitutes the fulfillment of a Torah precept.153

The mitzvah of accepting Divine Justice carries with it great impor-tance, as it is one of the major distinctions drawn between the Jewish People and the idol worshippers, as we find in tractate Rosh Hashanah.154 Rashi explains,155 “This is the way of the Jewish People whose hearts are inclined Heavenward. If he suffers, he does not reject the Heavenlyver-dict, rather he places responsibility for his suffering on his past trans-gressions. But an idol worshipper, by way of contrast, when he suffers and feels it is undeserved, complains of Divine Injustice.”

In fact, the secret of the continuity of the Jewish People is con-nected to this mitzvah, as we find in the Midrash:156

153 See Smag, Aseh 17.154 4a.155 Ibid.156 Tanchuma, Nitzavim §3.


If you ask, “Why are the idol-worshipping nations doomed to destruction, while we continue to exist?” This is because when they are visited by suffering they rebel against it, and do not recognize the Name of Hashem (i.e. they reject the Divine Justice), as it is written,157 “Pour Your wrath upon the gentiles who do not know You.” But the Jewish People, when they are made to suffer, submit to it, as it is written,158 “Pain and sadness I find (i.e. yissurim), and in the Name of Hashem I call.”

from where do the Jewish People have the strength to continu-ally recognize the righteousness of the Divine Decree, under all con-ditions? The answer is found in a Midrash:159

Rebbi Pinchas began in the name of Rebbi chanin of Tzipporin: What is written of Avraham?160 “I shall bless you and make your name great.” Once he left his home-land to reside in the Land of Israel, a famine began and he began suffering pangs of hunger, and he neither took issue nor complained (despite the Divine Prom-ise that he would have great blessing as a result of his relocation to Israel), so it should be with you as well. If suffering has come your way, do not take issue, and do not make accusations.

We see from the Midrash that Avraham Avinu had mastered the idea of accepting the Divine Decree without questions. Does this have implications for his descendants? The answer is a resounding yes! And they are far-reaching.

157 Tehillim 89:6.158 Tehillim 116:3-4.159 Bereishis Rabbah 92§1.160 Bereishis 12.

Rabbi chaim of volozhin161 comments on a verse in Mishlei:162

“A tzaddik walks in innocence; praiseworthy are his sons after him.” There are many fine traits that a tzaddik works hard to acquire, but his children inherit them as part of their nature, and attain them with but little effort. Expe-rience shows that a great many of the simplest Jews are prepared to die to sanctify Hashem’s Name (Kiddush Hashem). This trait was stamped into us by Avraham, who was willing to die for his faith at Ur Kasdim… and the abil-ity to accept that all that Heaven does is for the best, comes from the test of famine, when [Avraham] did not question Hashem’s ways.

Every Jew has the innate ability to accept his yissurim without doubting the Divine Justice behind it. This trait comes as an inheri-tance bequeathed to him from his great forefather Avraham, which underscores the unique inherent greatness of every single Jew. The Baal HaTanya writes163 that Hashem will not test a person with something he cannot withstand. If a test seems tremendous, then surely the re-cipient has already been given the extra spiritual strength necessary to overcome it. In other words, each of us, without exception, has the ability to accept our yissurim, rather than complain about them.

Rejecting the Divine JudgmentJust as there is a mitzvah of accepting one’s yissurim, there

is a transgression to reject them. There are two ways of rejecting Hashem’s justice:

161 Ruach Chaim 4:3.162 Mishlei 20:7.163 Quoted in Likutei Sichos page 427 in the additions to Parshas Re’ei.

as descendants of avraham avinu, we

inherited the ability to accept yissurim

rather than complain about them


1. The faulty belief that everything occurs by chance and coincidence.2. Recognizing the Divine Hand involved in yissurim yet casting

doubt in their justice.

Both of these approaches are wrong, but the second approach is even worse than the first, as will be explained.

Attributing adversities to coincidenceThe person who views the source of his misfortune to ‘bad luck,’

aside from being sorely mistaken, instigates troubles of a more severe nature, to be decreed upon him. The Rambam writes:164

If … they (the afflicted people) say “this thing that hap-pened to us is a disaster caused by nature, and this trouble is a chance occurrence,” this in fact is cruelty, as it will lead them to maintain their evil deeds, and this tragedy will lead to other worse calamities. This is what is written in the Torah,165 “And if you walk with Me in happenstance, I shall add to you the wrath.”166

We find many examples of this in the Torah:167 The bedridden King Assa sought out doctors and not god, attributing his sickness to cir-cumstance. Thus, his sickness took a turn for the worse, to the point that it became incurable. To contrast, ailing King chizkiyahu, upon receiving mere verbal rebuke, immediately turned to Hashem to be-seech for mercy. Not only was he granted a complete recovery, he was also granted to have his life extended for many years, over which he bore witness to many great miracles. Pertaining to these two kings it is written,168 “A word of rebuke to a wise man is greater than a hundred lashes to a fool.”

164 Hilchos taanis ch. 1 halacha 3.165 Vayikra 26:27-28.166 See also Gemara Kiddushin 20a with Rashi and Shaarei Teshuva, ch. 2, letter 2.167 As the RaMad Valli points out in his commentary on Mishlei 17:10.168 Mishlei 17:10.

The wise man knows there is no such thing as coincidence. He rec-ognizes that all the details of his life are decided by Divine Providence. This knowledge is correct and also offers consolation: He realizes his suffering is preordained from Above, custom-designed for his ulti-mate benefit, both in this world and the next.

Doubting Divine JusticeA person who casts doubt on the Divine Justice behind his trou-

bles and dares to think Hashem made a mistake in judgment, Heaven forbid, is considered as one who is rebel-ling against his suffering. furthermore, this is considered as nullifying the posi-tive commandment of “You shall love Hashem your god with all of your heart,” as Rashi explains, “With all your heart — that your heart should not be contrary to the Omnipresent.”169 The gravity of this person’s mistaken viewpoint is apparent in the words of Rabbeinu Yona who writes:170

There are people who think that the suffering that befalls them is unfair. They think they are righteous and have not erred and do not understand why such great travail be-falls them. These people die without repenting, but their worms (that are manifest in their corpse) will not die, for they have cast aspersions on the judgment and declared themselves righteous. Woe to them, and woe to their corpses; they have caused their own demise.

Rabbeinu Yona also notes,171 “If he does not accept his lot, and does not humble himself before the Divine Rebuke and does not circumcise his heart … his transgression will not be atoned and his punishment will be doubled.”

169 Devarim 6:5.170 Avos 3:16.171 Shaarei Teshuvah 2:3.

It is forbidden to attribute misfortune

to chance or doubt hashem’s justice


We already mentioned172 that the common denominator of all yis-surim is that they atone for transgression, nullifying the necessity of suffering in Gehinom and thus serving a great benefit to the one re-ceiving them. However, one who doubts the Divine Justice enters into an ironic situation. At the same time that Hashem is in the process of healing him in a most expert way, he cries out and blames Hashem for unjustly causing him misfortune! Rabbeinu Yona continues:173

It is said about people who do not recognize the good-ness and benefit of rebuke,174 “I will redeem them, but they speak lies about Me.” And it is written,175 “I have made them suffer, I have strengthened their arms, but they think evil about Me.” And it is written,176 “I trained Ephraim, supported him by his arms, but he did not know that I had healed him.”

Hashem can never be suspected of subverting justice, as it is written,177 “The Rock, perfect is His deed, for all His ways are jus-tice; faithful power, without distortion; righteous and straight is He.” Also,178 “Hashem is righteous in all His ways, and pious in all His deeds.”

It does not make sense to believe in god, yet feel that He erred. could it be that the Almighty god, who is omnipotent, sees past, pres-

ent and future simultaneously, created the entire universe and sustains it every second, from whom absolutely nothing is hidden — makes mistakes? Hashem does

not make mistakes, but, by contrast, a human being is prone to make errors. We all do, whether it’s forgetting a mitzvah or transgressing

172 chapter 2.173 Ibid., 2:4.174 Hoshea 7:13.175 Ibid. 7:15.176 Ibid. 11:3.177 Devarim 32:4.178 Tehillim 145:17.

Simply put, God is good and he does not

make mistakes.

one that we still have not learned, as it says:179 “There is no man so righteous upon the earth that he will do [only] good and not sin.” Ev-ery sin, whether intentional or accidental, requires atonement. In general we are always in need of some type of atonement. This is al-ready enough to “justify” a person’s yissurim.

Doubting god’s justice and complaining about it is a terrible mis-take. However, there is an exception: When a person is visited with extreme yissurim and at a moment of great agony, utters words of an-ger or resentment, Heaven pays no attention to his complaints. He is not held accountable for words uttered out of great duress. Our Sages teach,180 “One is not held accountable at the moment of pain.”

There is an amazing corollary to this: if a person has immense yissurim, (in which case he would not be held accountable if he com-plained), yet in spite of it all, he accepts Hashem’s decree wholeheartedly, his reward cannot be measured. Our Sages teach,181 “Rebbi chanina bar Papa said, “Had Iyov not complained when suffering befell him, then apart from saying (three times a day in prayer) ‘the god of Avraham, the god of Yitzchak and the god of Yaakov’, we would also be saying ‘the god of Iyov.’”

There is almost no such thing as a person who does not have dif-ficulties of some sort, and praiseworthy is he who accepts them prop-erly, as the Sages teach,182 “Praiseworthy is he who overcomes his in-clination and who does not question his creator’s measure, but takes shelter in Him with all his heart.”

One who wishes to declare the justice of Hashem’s ways in prayer may wish to recite the following petition based on the writings of the Rif and the Rosh.183 When said wholeheartedly, one fulfills the mitzvah of loving Hashem. It can be said by anyone going through any sort of yissurim:

179 Koheles 7:20.180 Bava Basra 16b.181 Yalkut Shimoni, Iyov §908.182 Midrash Agadah, Vayikra §14:2.183 Brachos, Rif 11b; and Rosh §3:9.

accepting yissurim brings great reward


god, You are right for everything that has happened to me.May it find favor before You, god my Lord,

that You mend my ruptures,and the ruptures of all the house of the Jewish People,

with mercy.

צדיק אתה ה‘ על כל הבא עלי

יהי רצון מלפניך ה׳ אלהי שתגדור את פרצותי

ואת פרצות כל עמך בית ישראל ברחמים

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gReAtness oF YissuRim

nterestingly, yissurim do not constitute a negative sign from Heaven. Many people mistakenly believe that if a person is subject to yissurim, it indicates that he must be despicable in the eyes of the Almighty. Otherwise, Hash-

em surely would not have put him through this. Some may lament if only he was righteous enough, he surely would have been pro-tected from this pain.

This attitude is most unfortunate be-cause, in fact, nothing could be farther from the truth! The Torah itself testifies that even god’s most beloved servants have endured difficult periods of great suffering. The Shevet Mussar explains:184

Avraham was the greatest of believers, who made known Hashem’s existence throughout the world. This tzaddik

184 6:3.

Yissurim are a sign of Divine Love, God is

sending them to help you

82 Greatness of YissurimThis Too Is For The Best 83

was hunted down by Nimrod, and had to flee from his country and birthplace to a land he had never known. Similarly, Yitzchak went blind. Yaakov was chased about by Eisav and his cohorts. Moshe Rabbeinu suffered greatly at the hands of Dasan and Aviram. They had joined forces with Korach and his assembly who cursed and derided him. They even started rumors suspecting him of adultery. Yehoshua bin Nun left no sons, only daughters. Dovid HaMelech’s own son sought to kill him, as did King Shaul and many others. Rebbi Yochanan bur-ied all of his children.

The list goes on. In our times, the chazon Ish did not merit hav-ing any children and suffered untold physical ailments. Obviously, the presence of suffering in a person’s life is no indication at all that god “does not like him.”

Not only are yissurim not a sign of Divine dissatisfaction, but quite the contrary! Yissurim are actually a positive sign from heav-en. They indicate that Hashem loves us and desires us, as the verse says clearly:185 “Hashem chastises the one He loves.” Rav Huna said,186 “Anyone who Hashem desires, He cleanses with yissurim.” Similarly, we find it written in Sefer HaYashar,187 “If suffering, ill-ness or tragedy befall a person, or he is exiled from his land, he should know that the creator loves him, and is admonishing him as He would His own son.”188

The vilna gaon comments on this point. commenting on Mishlei,189 “Better is open rebuke, than concealed love,” the gaon writes:

185 Mishlei 3:12.186 Brachos 5a.187 Shaar 9.188 Apart from this sign of Divine Love, he mentions another sign, and that is, “If a harsh de-

cree (i.e. yissurim) should befall the citizens of a city or a family, and this particular person remains unaffected by it, he should know that this is because the creator loves him and has shown him the extent that he surpasses the others.”

189 Mishlei 27:5.

He who openly rebukes his fellow is better for him than he who loves him secretly, for the one who openly rebukes him surely loves him dearly, and his great love, as a lover to a beloved, is discerned through the added rebuke … this is also true of a father’s love for his son. Though his love for his son is great, nevertheless, he strikes his son and rebukes him openly and constantly. This is not true of other close ones who would never strike him [physically] though they might rebuke him [with words], and other people [who have no relationship with him at all] will not even rebuke him [with words].

The concept is this: To the extent that one loves an-other, so too his rebuke will manifest. This is because he intends to correct his friend’s character and perfect him through his rebuke, and this is on account of his true love for him. So too, Hashem chastises specifically his loved ones as is mentioned in the gemara,190 “It is not good for the wicked when Hashem favors them in this world… It is good for the righteous when He does not show them favor in this world.”

An amazing lesson emerges. One who receives yissurim has re-ceived a personal telegram from the Almighty Himself, saying “I love you very much and wish to improve you with these yissurim in ways you cannot fathom.” He has been privileged to receive Hashem’s per-sonal attention through customized yissurim designed precisely to bring him closer to perfection and measured out with uncanny accu-racy. The intensity of the suffering reveals the amount of love, and all of this is performed out of great Divine Mercy. It is crucial for a person bearing yissurim to keep this point in mind.

Let us try to understand this better. What does it mean that yis-surim reflect Divine Love? In what way is this love manifested? The

190 Yoma 87a.


Steipler gaon said,191 “Suffering is precious … as they amount to the bulk of one’s success and wealth in the hereafter … the profit from which is inestimable, and it is counted among Hashem’s greatest kind-nesses.” Let us consider some of the benefits of suffering and thus gain a small glimpse into the Divine Love expressed through yissurim.

1. he will be protected from future suffering

If a person accepts the judgment decreed upon him, he will pro-tect himself from other calamities which were destined to befall him, as is written in Shaarei Teshuvah,192 “If calamity befalls the sinner …

and he declares the judgment fair and ac-cepts the rebuke with love, in the merit of this attitude he will be shielded from much suffering which were bound to have befallen him…”

2. he merits the resolution of his suffering

Moshe Rabbeinu, at the burning bush,193 asked Hashem for a sign to prove his legitimacy to the people, and he was instructed to throw down his staff to the ground, where it turned into a snake. Moshe was then told to seize the snake, at which point it is written, “And it became a staff in his hand.”194 On this the chafetz chaim comments195 “in his hand,” alludes to the principle that when a man accepts the suffering brought upon him, the Heavenly Judgment against him is immediately lifted. (This is seen from the fact that Moshe Rabbeinu was not loathe to take the serpent with his very hand, which symbol-izes wholehearted acceptance of the Divine Decree, and that once he grasped it, the serpent turned into a staff, alluding to the negation of his suffering as a consequence of his recognition of Divine Justice.)

191 Krayna d’Igressa vol 1, letter 91.192 Shaarei Teshuvah 4:12.193 Shemos 4:24.194 Shemos 4:4.195 Shmiras HaLashon Part II Parshas Shemos.

accepting suffering without complaint helps avoid future

suffering

With this principle in mind, we gain insight into a baffling ge-mara in Avodah Zarah.196 Rebbi Eliezer was arrested by heretics for not capitulating to become an idol worshiper, preferring to per-sist in his loyalty to Hashem. The heretics brought him to trial to be hanged. At the proceedings, the judge said to him, “Why does an old and wise person such as yourself, spend his time with this nonsense?” [Being a Torah Jew.] Rebbi Eliezer replied, “I trust the Judge.” The magistrate thought that Rebbi Eliezer was referring to him, although he had really been referring to his Judge in Heaven. The magistrate said, “Since you have accepted my authority over you, I give you clemency. You are exonerated.”

The Chafetz Chaim explains: Once Rebbi Eliezer accepted the Di-vine Judgment, the judgment was immediately lifted, and thus the chancellor mistakenly thought that Rebbi Eliezer was according him honor and exempted him duly from all charges.

This helps us shed light on an otherwise difficult Gemara Yerushalmi:197

Once it happened that a fire broke out in the courtyard of Yossi ben Simai, in the town of Shichin. The ruler’s men came down quickly from nearby Tzipporin to put out the blaze, but Yossi ben Simai stopped them. He said to them, “let the Tax collector take His due.” (Meaning, let Hashem take retribution from me on account of my sins, as this was the ultimate cause for the fire — Pnei Moshe.) No sooner than the words were spoken, dark gray rain clouds emerged on the horizon, arriving just in time to douse the fire.

Yossi ben Simai’s acceptance of Divine Justice acted as a catalyst for the nullification of his suffering. This principle is central to our lives. We must be sure to recognize and appreciate the Divine Hand in our lives, even when things do not go according to plan. This will help bring an end to yissurim.

196 16b.197 Shabbos Ch. 15 subsection 17.


The Rosh Yeshiva of Ponevez, Rabbi Elazar Menacham Man Shach, suffered at one time from a kidney disorder. Every week, the doctor would come to his house and administer an extremely difficult and painful treatment. One day, before the treatment, Rav Shach mentioned to one of his close ones, “I thought to myself, is not the purpose of yissurim atonement? If so, I need to accept them with love, and they will atone for me.” Indeed, before the next treatment, the Rav accepted with an open heart the imminent suffering. After the treatment, he attested that, “This time there was no pain.”198

If a person can bring himself to actually rejoice in his circum-stances, then even others will merit to be saved on account of this. The gemara states:199 “Rebbi Yehoshua ben Levi said, ‘All who rejoice in their yissurim, bring redemption to the world.’” comments the Menoras HaMaor,200 “If he accepts them with joy and declares their justice, Heaven will have mercy upon him, removing from him the affliction, and bring salvation to him and others who live in that generation in his merit.”

3. He will have his wishes fulfilled

The wisest of all men, Shlomo HaMelech, said:201 “for the one whom Hashem loves, shall He rebuke, and like a father to a son He desires.” What do the words “He desires” mean? The vilna gaon clarifies, “After he withdraws his staff from [his son], as a father to his son, He will assuage you, and fulfill your desires.” Thus, the man who suffers can expect to look forward to great Heavenly compassion, expressed in the sense that his wish-es will be fulfilled.

198 cited in Orchos Chasidecha, p. 181.199 Taanis 8a.200 Ner 5, 3 §299.201 Mishlei 3:12.

God fulfills the desires of those

who accept yissurim without complaint

I know someone who, after having been through a very difficult period, capitalized on the ensuing period of grace and prayed he should have the merit to open and maintain a Kollel. His prayers were received and he successfully continues to teach Torah to this day.

4. he will merit longevity and progeny

The Sages revealed202 to us that a person who willingly accepts his suffering will merit to have offspring203 and to live a long life. The idea is thought-provoking. People try everything to prolong their lives or have children. However, even after all of the time and money invested, there are no guarantees. Bear in mind that perhaps the greatest of all these attempts is readily accessible at no cost: to accept yissurim with a whole heart.

The Klausenberger Rebbe lost his family and dynasty during the Holocaust. On several occasions he just barely managed to escape the clutches of death. After the war, he managed to rebuild his family and re-establish his Chassidic dynasty. At the occasion of marrying off one of his children, he spoke in public with great emotion:

“Many times I have thought to myself, Hashem has helped me through such peril, such suffering. I have merited to rebuild. I have children who are Rabbis, and sons-in-law who are Rabbis. I have merited establishing a glorious Ye-shiva, producing true Torah scholars. I stand amazed. What did I do to merit this? What gave me such grace in God’s eyes that he has given me all of this? I came to a firm conclusion.

202 Brachos 5a.203 A note regarding the blessing of having children: We find that the Torah considers having

children the greatest possible blessing in this world, as we find in the Radak’s commentary on Tehillim 127:3. See also the Midrash Shir HaShirim Rabbah 2 concerning Oved Edom’s bless-ing of having 62 boys. In another place I have written at length to explain the greatness of this blessing.

One who willingly accepts his sufferings

merits a long life


The one thing that I can attribute this to, is that even in the thick of those terrible years of the war, never did I complain about Hashem’s ways. Every wave of yissurim that came my way was accepted lovingly...”204

5. he will understand the Torah better

The greatness of Torah knowledge can never be overestimated. Shlomo HaMelech attests,205 “It is more precious than pearls, and all your desires cannot equal it.” It is well-known that even one word of To-rah is equal to all of the mitzvos put together,206 and of the three ‘crowns’ that are possible to possess (the crown of kingship, the crown of priesthood and the crown of Torah knowledge), it is the crown of Torah which ascends above the others.207

That Torah knowledge is the most precious commodity, reveals an-other positive aspect of yissurim. If one accepts his travails graciously, he gains a greater capacity for learning and understanding the Torah. Our Sages state in Avos,208 “One of the forty-eight ways to acquire Torah is accepting suffering,”’ and Rashi explains, “for he accepts suffering with love.”

Similarly, our Sages say,209 “And if he accepted his yissurim [out of love], what is his reward? He will remember his studies.”

The Ben Ish chai elaborates farther:210

Even though a person who has yissurim is naturally prone to forget the Torah since he is confused by the suffering

204 As recounted in the Sefer B’Michitzasam Part 2 page 659.205 Mishlei 3:15.206 cf. vilna gaon, Shenos Eliyahu to Pe’ah, ch. 1.207 cf. Rabbeinu Yona to Avos 4:12.208 Avos 6:5.209 Brachos 5a; see also Rav Nissim Gaon, ad loc.210 Ben Yehoyadah to Brachos 5a.

he will also merit deeper and better

understanding of the Torah

he experiences and he is weakened by his suffering, still, Hashem acts with him against the laws of nature to en-sure he remembers his learning.

The fact that yissurim facilitates better learning goes farther than many of us think. In truth, it is impossible to acquire Torah without having yissurim. The Sages teach:211 “Rebbi Shimon bar Yochai says, ‘Hashem gave three beneficial gifts to the Jewish People, and all of them are acquired only through suffering. They are: Torah, the land of Israel and the World to come.’” The gaon of vilna likewise states:212

It is impossible to know the Torah unless he accepts his suffering. Therefore, one who appreciates suffering, in fact, appreciates knowledge. This is because knowledge is dependent on it. However, to contrast, one who hates even verbal rebuke [and all the more so physical suffer-ing], he will remain of an unrefined nature (a boor), and will not merit Torah knowledge.

Why is this so? Why is attaining Torah knowledge dependent on undergoing yissurim?

The Menoras HaMaor213 explains that through the suffering a per-son endures, he is refined from the physicality within and thus be-comes more spiritual, thereby greatly improving his capacity to un-derstand the Holy Torah. To add clarity, one’s capacity to understand Torah is commensurate with his purity of soul. The greater the purity, the more lucid his understanding. This helps us understand a puzzling episode in the gemara:214

When Rebbi Shimon bar Yochai came out of the cave after a sojourn there of thirteen years, his flesh was split and cracked from the sand in the cave in which he had buried

211 Brachos Ibid.212 Mishlei 12:1 See more in Mishlei 29:15.213 Ner 5. See also Ramchal, Derech Hashem 1:4:8-9; Iggeres HaKodesh (Baal HaTanya) §26.214 Shabbos 33b.


himself. He went to the bathhouse where Rebbi Pinchas ben Yair (his father-in-law) saw him. commenting on his dismal physical condition, he said, “Woe to me who has seen you like this!” And Rebbi Shimon responded, “Praise-worthy are you for seeing me like this, for had you not seen me this way (full of physical calamity), you would not have found in me my present spiritual greatness.”

The gemara points out that before Rebbi Shimon entered the cave, Rebbi Pinchas’ would answer his questions in thirteen different ways. Now, after being in the cave for thirteen years, Rebbi Shimon was able to answer the questions posed by Rebbi Pinchas. Not only that, he was able to answer them in twenty-four different ways.

Rebbi Shimon’s answer, “Had you not seen me in this way,” needs explanation. Should he not have said, “Had I not hidden in the cave and learned Torah from the angel Eliyahu you would not have found me thus?” But according to what we have learned, the gemara is well understood. As a result of the yissurim Rebbi Shimon endured in the cave (his parched and cracked skin attesting to this), he became spiri-tually purified to a great degree, and thus became enabled to under-stand the Torah with great depth and clarity. Rebbi Shimon’s answer was straight and to the point, “Had you not seen me in this way, with all of the suffering, you would not have found me in my present great-ness.” It was Rebbi Shimon’s yissurim which were the chief catalyst in achieving his mastery of Torah (particularly the esoteric teachings), unsurpassed in his generation.

HaRav Moshe Samsinovitz, Mashgiach of Kollel Beis Abba, once related that HaRav Chaim Friedlander suffered greatly in the last few years of his life. R’ Chaim attested that dur-ing this period he grasped more Torah than he had learned during a period of thirty years. This was not said by way of

exaggeration. HaRav Friedlander’s remark is readily under-stood in light of the above.

6. he will merit life in the World to come

As we have mentioned, no pleasure in this world can compare to the sweetness and delight of the World to come. A person merits his reward on account of the good deeds he performed during his life. However, there is a precondition: yissurim must precede his entrance

to the Next World. The yissurim a person has through the course of his life serve as a preparation for entering the Next World. The Sages teach us in the Midrash:215

Rav Huna said “And behold it was very good.” Our tradi-tion tells us that this is referring to yissurim. can it be understood that suffering is very good? Rather, the ex-planation is, that since through suffering we gain life in the Next World, therefore it’s considered “very good,” as Shlomo HaMelech once said, “The way of life is the rebuke of yissurim.” What is the path that brings a man life in the Next World? The Torah states that it is the measure of yissurim.

Since yissurim offer such great dividends, tzaddikim have prayed for them, as is recorded in the Midrash:216

Yitzchak Avinu asked for suffering. He said before Hashem, “Master of the World! If a man dies without suffering, he stands to be judged with a strict measure of justice (as opposed to being judged with mercy), but when You bring upon him yissurim (in this world),

215 Bereishis Rabbah 9:8.216 Bereishis Rabbah §65; see also Bava Metzia 84a.

Yissurim are necessary to merit the World to come


the attribute of strict justice is removed from him.” Hashem said to him, “By your life, you have requested a good thing, and I will start with you.” from the be-ginning of the book [of Bereishis] until this point, no suffering is mentioned. But once Yitzchak arose, He gave him suffering, “And it was, that Yitzchak grew old, and he went blind.”

As we see, one’s portion of the hereafter is contingent on yis-surim. Why? The answer is, that as long as a person is tainted with the impurity of sin, he cannot enter the World to come. Only a person with a pure soul can be admitted. However, the person with a stained soul can become cleansed. How? One way is through yissurim. They purify a person to the point rendered fitting for entrance.

The Ramchal writes clearly:217

We explained that the purpose of creation is to gather a group of perfected people who are deserving of be-ing permanently attached to Hashem (referring to the bliss of the future world), and in order for this to occur properly, they all will need to undergo the previously-mentioned stages [i.e. the various types of physical and spiritual yissurim] to prepare and bring about this ultimate end… however, as long as they are tainted with sin, they are not considered suitable for attachment to Hashem.

The Chafetz Chaim writes:218

I heard from one of the Elders, who himself heard it from Rabbi Yaakov Moshe that said in the name of his grandfa-ther, the gaon of vilna, that if not for yissurim, we would

217 Derech Hashem 2:2:4-5.218 Shem Olam, Part 1, ch.3.

be in a hopeless situation. The reason for this being, that when a person dies, he goes through the following scenario:

His soul goes up into the heavens. There he sees a type of scale. On this scale is weighed all of his deeds that he performed during his sojourn in the world. The good deeds will be weighed against the bad deeds. He hears a heavenly voice call out that every meritorious act that he ever did, should come forth now. The voice rever-berates in all places that his soul is rooted. Suddenly, all of the heavenly defending angels created as a result of his mitzvos make their appearance. They take their place on the right side of the scale, weighing it down. Now an-other heavenly voice proclaims that every sinful act that he ever did should come forth now. Huge multitudes of strong creatures clothed and shrouded entirely in black appear. They take their place on the left side of the scale. Their numbers easily outweigh the heavenly angels, the scale tips down, pronouncing his guilt. The defending angels, apart from their numerical inferiority, are also weak. This is because they were created as a result of the mitzvos he performed while alive. Since these mitzvos were not performed with the enthusiasm they deserve, similarly the angels created from them are weakened. This lies in sharp contrast to his sins, which were per-formed with great happiness and vigor, hence the pow-erful accusers assembled together. He sees this reality unfold before his eyes, and begins to despair. He thinks to himself, “Where am I going to end up? for sure I am going to be declared a wicked man.” In the meantime, another heavenly voice calls out, “Where are all of the yissurim that this man endured during his life?” Immedi-ately, every bit of suffering he ever experienced runs to the right side of the scale. There is a great multitude of them. They succeed in tipping the scale to the right. He


becomes greatly elated and full of joy, thanking Hashem from his very depths for all he was made to endure. The reason for this being that the yissurim act as atonement for his sins, and he is rendered righteous as a result.219

7. he will merit future greatness


It is known that Hashem promised the Jewish People that in the fu-ture, all will merit learning Torah directly from Hashem… and they will all merit attaining great levels, until all of the Jewish People will reach the level of the prophecy, as it is written,221 “And it shall be after this, I shall pour My spirit upon all

flesh, and your sons and daughters shall have prophecy…” This is a most heartening prophecy. Imagine, being a

real prophet … but wait. Is this really fair? To become a prophet required a great deal of preparation. Asceticism, meditation and great self-refinement were the minimal requirements.222 If so, how is it fair that in the future we will receive “for free” what our ancestors achieved only af-ter much hard work and efforts? furthermore, will it not

219 We find in the last words mentioned here, that the yissurim atone and also render one righteous. from here it is evident that yissurim accomplish two things. Since they atone, they eradicate his sins (found on the left side of the scale), while at the same time render one righteous, meaning his merits become increased (they weigh down on the right side). This can be explained from what we learned before (in chapter 3), that by accepting yis-surim one fulfills the mitzvah of loving Hashem. Therefore by the end of his life, a person will have enormous merits resulting from how he accepted his yissurim with grace.

220 Shem Olam, Shaar Hischazkus, ch. 12.221 Yoel 3:1.222 See a detailed explanation of the nature of prophecy in the sefer Shaarei Kedusha chapter 4.

By accepting suffering, a person

merits future honor, prophesy and the privilege to learn

Torah directly from hashem

be embarrassing to receive prophecy without deserving it, akin to a beggar receiving free handouts?

As we know, Hashem is exceedingly merciful and desires to bestow merit upon His people who follow His Torah. Accordingly, in the future, when the true great-ness of the Jewish People will be recognized, Hashem will have it arranged that they shall not be embarrassed with free gifts. How so? By prolonging the exile and hiding His countenance, and by this, the enemies of the Jewish Peo-ple have grown strong and their yoke weighs heavily upon them to the point that their livelihood comes to them be-sieged and embattled, and they endure other difficulties and pains each day… as a result of these yissurim, when in the future Hashem lifts up the pride of the Jewish People and raises them to the level of prophecy and all of the goodness that is waiting for them, their faces will not pale on account of this, because they in fact are rightfully deserving of this on account of their manifold yissurim suffered over the course of the exile. These tribulations purify and refine them to the point that they are fitting for the powerful and sublime greatness awaiting them.

The Jewish People have a very bright future. They will achieve au-thentic prophecy and the extraordinary privilege of learning Torah di-rectly from Hashem. These treasures, however, are not for free. They were paid for by the yissurim borne throughout the duration of the exile.

8. he will merit elevation in this world and the next


When a person truly accepts upon himself the Divine Judgment, Hashem will certainly raise his standing in this world and the next. This point is gleaned from the

223 Shmiras HaLashon, Shaar HaTevunah, Ch. 8.


episode concerning King David, when Shimi ben geira cursed him and threw dust at him. King David’s servants wanted to avenge the insult to his honor, but King David stopped them. Instead, he accepted the Divine Judgment with a full heart, recognizing that this could not have hap-pened unless there was a Heavenly Decree behind it. He trusted in Hashem and His mercies. Our Sages have con-veyed to us how his attitude was greeted in heaven, “At that moment, King David merited becoming the fourth support of the Throne of glory.”

As a result of King David’s acceptance of the Divine Decree, he mer-ited elevation, both in this world and the next. In this world, he was elevated to be returned to his throne and until this day is viewed as one of the greatest kings in the annals of history. In the Next World, he merited a level almost unsurpassed. So too, anyone wise enough to follow the example set by King David — to accept the Divine Decree without reservation — stands to reap the rewards, becoming elevated in this world and the next, each person measured to his own personal circumstance.

9. he will merit extra closeness with hashem

One having yissurim enjoys a special closeness with Hashem.224 “Rebbi Yossi, the son of Rebbi Yehudah says: Yissurim are precious, for the Name of Hashem rests upon the one who endures them, as it is written, ‘Hashem your god causes you yissurim.’” Since He is related to as “your god” regarding one’s yissurim, we see that he has a measure of extra closeness with Hashem.

The Chafetz Chaim used to be careful to pray for a variety of needs at the bedside of a sick person.225 Recognizing the special level of closeness with Hashem that the sick man enjoys, the

224 Midrash Sechel Tov, Bereishis 27:1.225 As recorded in the sefer “customs of the Chafetz Chaim.”

Chafetz Chaim understood his bedside to have the status of a holy place, akin to the grave of a tzaddik.226

In conclusion, it is befitting to conclude this chapter with the timeless words of Rabbeinu Yona. He writes:227 “A person should rejoice over his suffering, for they benefit him in many important ways, and

he should give thanks for them, as he would for any other success.” Upon con-templation of all the benefits described in this chapter, one can readily under-stand these words.

226 See also tractate Shabbos 12b which states that the Divine Presence rests above a sick person.

227 Shaarei Teshuvah 2:4.

he merits great spiritual elevation

and closeness to hashem

Practical Tips 99

-5-

PRACtiCAL tiPs

n chapter 3, we learned that one who is undergoing yis-surim must not cast doubt on the Divine Judgment, rather he should wholeheartedly accept them. In chapter 4, we discussed the enormous benefits one who bears this atti-

tude will accrue. However, after all is said and done, practically speaking it seems

very difficult to really accept some of the great travails of life with a whole heart. Is there some way that even a ‘regular person’ can do this? If the Torah commands us, it must be something in the grasp of all, but how so?

There are a number of practical pieces of advice and tips in the teachings of the Torah to help us bring this concept into reality. One who keeps these words in mind during difficult times, will have an easier time accepting his lot without reservation, and thus earn great reward. Here are some helpful ideas:228

228 Not all of the points mentioned here apply to every type of yissurim. Some apply only to material loss, etc.

1. it is not a true loss

Iyov famously stated,229 “Naked did I leave my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return there; Hashem has given, and Hashem has taken, may the Name of Hashem be blessed.” The vilna gaon230 extrapolates from here four different reasons why no man should be pained over what befalls him.

“Naked did I leave my mother’s womb” — the vilna gaon explains that a person comes into the world without any worldly riches or ac-quisitions. If so, what a person accumulates during his sojourn in this world does not have an intrinsic connection to him, rather they have

only superficial value at the most. One who internalizes this will not become very upset at the loss of something, as it was something of little intrinsic worth. Just like one is not troubled over the loss

of a few cents, so too a person who realizes the vanity of materiality is not pained over the loss of things, even if they have ‘value.’ To him, their value is not worth much. Material things are not part of the es-sence of a person. This is the message to be gleaned from the verse, “Naked did I leave my mother’s womb.”

2. The loss has no real value

The verse continues with the second lesson, “And naked shall I return there.” The vilna gaon explains that the Torah is teaching us

another reason why one’s material wealth is really of little value; it does not accom-pany a person to the grave.

Let’s clarify this further. Although in this world we benefit greatly from our wealth, it is irrelevant in the Next World, which is eternal. If we compare one hun-

229 1:21.230 Aderes Eliyahu, ad loc.

Material things are only superficial value

so I should not be upset about their loss

Material things have only temporal value. It makes no sense to be bothered by their

loss.

100 Practical TipsThis Too Is For The Best 101

dred years of life against eternity, it is less than a speck of dust in the wind! Recognizing this truth, we discover that only the things that will bring benefit to us in the Next World (i.e. Torah and mitzvos) have real value and significance, whereas the material wealth amassed in this world is almost of no consequence. It is only temporary, similar to the plastic cutlery used these days — and surely does not deserve to be mourned over, as Iyov taught “And naked shall I return there.”

3. one does not mourn over something acquired without effort

The third teaching we glean from Iyov refers to the phrase, “Hash-em has given.” The vilna gaon explains: A person suffers a loss. Why should he be pained over it? After all, Hashem was the One Who gave us the object in the first place, as a man cannot acquire anything with his own strength or might. In other words, everything we have is re-ally only a conglomeration of gifts given from Hashem. If so, at the loss of one of these gifts, it is not fitting to become upset.

This can be compared to a wealthy man who told his good friend that he wanted to give him a gift as a sign of his deep affection for him — a chest full of one hundred dollar bills. The wealthy man promptly prepared and sent the chest to his grateful friend. Shortly after receiv-ing the gift, the friend brought the chest to a safe place. Then some-thing terrible happened. A fire broke out in the city engulfing much of the city, including the precious chest with all of its contents. Upon hearing the news, the friend was not terribly distraught. He reasoned that although it can-not be denied that he lost a great deal of money, nonetheless it came as a gift, and not of his own efforts, and with this he was at ease about what happened.

None of a person’s possessions were acquired on account of his own efforts and designs, rather, in truth, they are nothing but a col-lection of gifts from Hashem. One does not get upset at the loss of a gift — “Hashem has given.”

hashem gave me what I have: easy

come, easy go

4. all we have is on loan

The fourth, and perhaps the most penetrating, of the lessons learned from Iyov’s statement, is found in “And Hashem has taken.” The vilna gaon comments:

Had someone taken something away from me, which he had no rights for, I would be greatly pained. However, since Hashem Himself is the One who gives, (and He gives it only as a loan) then when he takes something away, it is merely taking away what was His all along. In this sce-nario there is not anything to be upset about.

We all must view our possessions as borrowed property. Our houses and properties, our families and even our own bodies, these are all included in what Hashem gave us conditionally, that He may take any and all of them back at whatever time He deems fitting.

The one who lives with this attitude will not get distressed when suffering a loss and will also merit the World to come, as we find in Tehillim,231 “He has borrowed life from You; You gave him many days.” The Noam Elimelech explains:232

A tzaddik sees the life he is granted in this world as some-thing borrowed for a short time. for this reason, he con-stantly increases his holiness, for he always considers that today might be the day he must return what he has bor-rowed. This is “He has borrowed life from You.” In this merit “You gave him many days,” that is to say, that he will thus be granted long life — the World to come.

This idea already finds its place in Avos,233 “Rebbi Elazar, the man of Bartosa, says: give to Him from that which is His, for you and yours

231 21:5. 232 Parshas Vayeira. 233 Avos 3:7.


is His. [King] David also said,234 ‘for all comes from You (Hashem), and from Your hand we give to You.’” Rabbeinu Yona explains: “You are not giving from your possessions, not from your body and not from your wealth, but rather from the Omnipresent, Blessed be He, for a man’s wealth is a deposit in his hand from Hashem… and he should rejoice very much since he is allowed to benefit from the deposit.”235

The Midrash illustrates this point beautifully: 236

It once happened that Rebbi Meir was sitting one Shab-bos afternoon, delivering a shiur. In the meantime, his two sons passed away. What did their mother do? She left the both of them on their beds, and spread a blan-ket over them. Upon the depar-ture of Shabbos, Rebbi Meir ar-rived back from the beis midrash. He asked his wife, “Where are my two sons?” She replied, “They went to the beis midrash.” He re-torted, “I looked for them there and did not see them.” She pro-ceeded to give him the cup for havdalah. After making havdalah he inquired again, “Where are my two sons?” She responded, “Sometimes they have a place they go, and they may be arriving back home at any time.” She proceeded to serve him some food. After eating she in-formed him, “My Rabbi, I have a question to ask you.” “Please ask,” her husband said. She proceeded, “Yester-day someone had come and deposited with me some-thing. Now he has returned to get it back. Should I give it back to him?” Rebbi Meir retorted, “My precious wife, one who has someone else’s belongings should

234 Divrei Hayamim 1 29:14.235 for more on this idea see Orchos Tzaddikim, Shaar HaZechirah §19.236 Yalkut Shimoni Mishlei 964.

My possessions were all on loan in the first

place; I am grateful to hashem, even

when he asks for his deposit back

not give it back to him?” She responded, “Without your consent, I would not have given it back.” What did she proceed to do? She took him by the hand, and led him up to the bedroom. She then removed the blanket, ex-posing his two dead sons. Rebbi Meir began to cry. “My son! My son! My Rabbi! My Rabbi! My son, by blood re-lation, and also my Rabbi as I grew so much from their insights in Torah.” At that time she told her husband, “My Rabbi, did you not instruct me that one must al-ways return a deposit upon request? Thus we may ap-ply the following verse237 to our situation: ‘Hashem has given, and Hashem has taken, may the Name of Hash-em be blessed.’” Rebbi chanina commented: the wife of Rebbi Meir successfully consoled her husband and put his mind at ease. Regarding her the verse states,238 “A woman of valor, who can find?”239

Incredibly, even when Hashem takes back what is His, it is done with great Divine Mercy, and it is befitting to thank the Almighty, even as He’s taking it back! How so? The Gemara Yerushalmi explains:240

Rebbi Yudin ben fila said: This is what Iyov said, “Hashem has given, Hashem has taken, may the Name of Hashem be blessed.” When He gave, He gave with mercy, and when He took, He took with mercy, [as is indicated by the name of Hashem written as the Tetragrammaton]. Not only that, but when He gives, He does not consult with anyone first, but when He takes, He first consults with His court. Rebbi Elazar said: Anywhere it is written “And Hashem,”

237 Iyov 1:21.238 Midrash Mishlei 31:10.239 The Midrash proceeds to give the reason why his sons died prematurely. They had habituated

themselves to ignore the study of the Torah, and indulge (excessively) in eating and drinking. 240 Brachos 9:5.


it means “Hashem and His court” [and here in Iyov it like-wise states “and Hashem took”].

It is evident that all of one’s losses are accompanied with Divine Mercy. Still, how can we be grateful over loss? This parable may help:

Reuven needed a car, and he needed it for long-term use. He arranged to borrow a beautiful car from his good and trusted friend, Shimon. Shimon, however, made a special stipulation; he reserved the right to recall the car at any time. Reuven happily agreed and used the car for many years. As time went on, Reuven forgot that the car was really Shimon’s — he saw himself as the rightful owner. One day, Shimon came to claim the car back. .

At first, Reuven was shocked at Shimon’s request, un-til Shimon reminded him of how he had lent him the car many years previously, and that it was only on condition that he could have it back whenever he wanted. Reuven recalled the details of the agreement, and subsequently apologized for acting ungrateful, recalling the great kind-ness Shimon had shown him by lending him the vehicle in the first place. He continued to thank Shimon profusely from the bottom of his heart for his generosity in lending him such a wonderful automobile for so long, and all of this without even requesting any compensation at all.

This is the case with all of us. Hashem “lends” a man everything he has: his body, his clothes, his property and everything else. Ev-erything is given on condition that He can request it back any time. Meanwhile, a person forgets and thinks that what he has is really his. When something happens, it is easy for him to err and think that Hashem is taking something away from him, and he becomes agitat-ed. The wise person will instead give thanks to the Depositor for His great kindness in letting him use the deposit in the first place. This is the meaning of the verse, “Hashem has given, Hashem has taken; may

the Name of Hashem be blessed.” Thanks is given even at the time of taking, and justly so. Is it not befitting of a borrower to thank the lender, not only at the time of receiving his goods but also at the time of returning them?241

5. We do not know how things will turn out

The Rambam writes,242 “There are many occurrences that seem at first to be beneficial, but in the end turn out to be detrimental. There-fore, the intelligent person should not be overly upset when some-thing bad happens, for he knows not what the outcome will be.”

It is natural for people confronted with difficulty and pain to see their situation as hopeless. This is an emotional assessment. One might see the evil and feel the pain, but in truth there is no way for him to know where this suffering will lead. There is no guar-antee that his hardship will lead to more of the same. It is entirely possible that

the present misfortune has set the stage for future gains whose value will far exceed the cost of the misfortune that led to it. Both scenarios are entirely possible. Therefore, the person who guides his life in ac-cordance to the dictates of logic, will on the one hand limit his happi-ness at a stroke of good fortune, as the outcome might turn out nega-tive, while on the other hand, at a stroke of misfortune he will limit

241 According to this, we gain new understanding of the verse in Tehillim (32:10), “And kind-ness shall surround the one who trusts in Hashem.” If a person trusts in Hashem and recognizes that he has nothing of his own, and that everything is quite literally a deposit from Hashem in his hand, then as a direct result, he will suddenly find himself surrounded by Hashem’s kindness. for his very body, clothes and property, all of it is on loan from Hashem in His infinite mercy, and this is “One who trusts in Hashem — automatically — kindness shall surround him.”

This also explains the phrase we recite thrice daily in Shmone Esrei (in modim): “We give thanks to You and relate Your praises… for the goodness You bestow at every moment, evening, morning and noon.” All a person has, at every moment, is counted among the goodness Hashem has given him, without requesting to be reimbursed, however on condi-tion to be returned ‘upon request.’

242 commentary to Mishnah, Brachos 9:5.

Often, what seems bad turns out to be a blessing in disguise;

one cannot judge until all outcomes have been realized


his disappointment, realizing there are great probabilities that the difficulties will turn out to be a blessing in disguise. He will reserve judgment until everything has played itself out.

The following parable makes this point clear:

A certain man accused his business partner of unfairly taking more than his share of the profits, which the part-ner vehemently denied. At the hearing, the plaintiff and defendant each brought witnesses to confirm their ver-sion of the story. After hearing the accusations and tak-ing testimony from the plaintiff, the judge turned to the defendant and asked his witnesses to take the stand, but after a few questions it became clear that the witnesses were unable to utter a single word. A doctor was sum-moned, who determined that the witnesses had been struck by a debilitating illness and were unable to speak, but that the illness would pass and their speech restored within a short time. The judge recognized how fruitless it would be to arrive at a just decision under these cir-cumstances and reserved his judgment, rescheduling the hearing for a later date.

The same is true of misfortune. Each of us is a ‘judge’ when it comes to the events that take place in our lives, deciding if what happened was good or not. The wise judge realizes that at present he cannot accurately assess the situation due to lack of evidence. The ‘chief witnesses,’ all of the outcomes of the event, have not yet ‘given testimony,’ but later they will emerge, and only then may he render a correct decision.

The Chafetz Chaim’s son once told the following story he heard from his father:243 A certain community found fault with their Rabbi. One of the complaints against him was that his children had joined the Haskalah movement. Due to this, the Rabbi endured much derision. He eventually had to

243 cited in L’shichno Sidreshu, vol. 1, p. 120.

leave the town and took a position in another, smaller city, whose Jewish community was mostly Chassidic. In the end, his children joined the Chassidic movement, married Chas-sidic women and after many years, were appointed Rabbis in various Chassidic communities in Europe, penning works of Torah, from novella to responses. When the Rabbi had been forced to leave town, it seemed like a disaster. However, as the outcome was still unknown it would have been vain to label it a disaster at the time. In truth, he had no way of knowing that it would prove to be one of the greatest blessings of his life.

6. Better people have suffered more

We find written in Eichah:244 “How shall I describe you, to what shall I compare you, daughter of Jerusalem; to what shall I equate you and console you, maiden daughter of Zion?” The Navi bemoans that the scope of the destruction of Yerushalayim was such, that there was nothing to compare it to. Apart from communicating the great tragedy that had befallen us, he brings yet another message. Rashi explains, “When hardship befalls a person, and someone says to him, ‘that also happened to so-and-so,’ for him it is consoling.” That is to say, that Yerushalayim was inconsolable. There was nothing that ever happened which could match the depth of the devastation.

from here we learn a positive lesson. When one contemplates the suffering of others, particularly the suf-fering of others in a worse-off scenario, one becomes consoled in his lot. This sen-timent is echoed in the words of the Pele Yoetz:245 “One should think about how the great ones were made to suffer, how the

upright people have endured poverty, difficulty and pain, [as is record-ed with authority in the gemara and Midrashim] … and there are also

244 2:13.245 Erech “Aniyus.”

Better people have suffered far

worse; who am I to complain?


many who contended with far more evil and pain than he, though he is no better than they.”

Here are a few examples to illustrate the point. consider, for in-stance, the troubled life of Yaakov Avinu. The Midrash recounts:246

Yaakov had suffered very much — already from when he was just in his mother’s womb, Eisav fought with him, as it is written,247 “The sons quarreled within her.” After-wards we learn of his travail in fleeing from his brother Eisav to the house of Lavan, as it states,248 “On account of his brother pursuing him with a sword and subduing his mercy.” Upon arrival at Lavan’s house, his difficulties continued, “By day, the sun devoured me…”249 When he left, Lavan chased after him to kill him, as it is written,250 “He chased after him, a journey of seven days.” He es-caped from him, but Eisav, again, came looking to kill him. On account of Eisav, Yaakov sustained great mon-etary loss [all of the gifts sent to appease Eisav]. He left Eisav only to endure the episode of Dinah,251 and to go on from there to suffer the untimely and tragic death of his most beloved wife, Rachel. After all of these tragedies, Yaakov desired a bit of respite. This was not to be, for shortly after the death of his wife, the episode of Yosef’s [kidnapping and sale] transpired, and after that, the pain of losing Yitzchak his father, who died ten years after the selling of Yosef. The Torah says concerning him,252 “I was not tranquil, and I was not silent; I did not rest, and the fury did come.” Then the travail of Shimon [who was im-prisoned by the viceroy of Egypt — Yosef — and then the

246 Midrash Rabbah, Miketz §12.247 Bereishis 25:22.248 Amos 1:11.249 Bereishis 31:40.250 Bereishis 31:23.251 She had forbidden relations, causing great disgrace to the whole family. 252 Iyov 3:26.

travail of Binyamin, whom the viceroy demanded to see]. Therefore, Yaakov prayed with the name “Eil-Shaddai,” be-seeching that He who said to heaven and earth, “Enough,” should likewise say to his suffering, “Enough.”

Our Sages teach253 that Yaakov was the greatest of all of the Patri-archs, despite that his life was full of yissurim. Of course, they were all for constructive purposes (as is the case with all yissurim), yet if we reflect on the suffering of our righteous forefather Yaakov, or other great personalities254 who suffered immensely, we feel consoled as our lot pales in comparison, notwithstanding the fact that we are not nearly as righteous as they were.

consider this true story about Rabbi Yechiel Mordechai gordon, Rosh Yeshiva of Lomza and author of Nesiv Yam:255

Little is known of the background and history of HaRav Gor-don, how his wife and children were murdered, how the thou-sands of his students, beloved to him like his own children, were uprooted by the storms of war or about his glorious Ye-shiva which is no more. His face did not convey pain and sor-row. Quite to the contrary, his face shone with strength and hope, and he always consoled others and encouraged them, blowing renewed vigor into their souls.

Once, he bared his heart and revealed the enormity of the loss he had suffered. This was when a Holocaust survivor came to visit. This man had a son who still was not married and he was beside himself over it, as he was already getting on in years. The man described his suffering to the Rosh Ye-shiva, cried over the past, bewailed his present and despaired of his future. How was it possible to comfort him? The Rosh

253 See Midrash Sechal Tov, Bereishis ch. 33.254 Take for example King Dovid whose son Avshalom rose up to usurp the kingdom from him

and kill him, or King chizkiyahu whose son Menashe erected an idol in the Holy of Holies, or more recently the Brisker Rav and other righteous ones whose families were slaughtered brutally at the hands of the accursed Nazis.

255 cf. Orchos Chasidecha, p. 176.


Yeshiva began to speak of his life and the manifold tortures he endured, describing them one by one. He spoke of his per-sonal suffering and that of the entire community. The more he spoke, the more this man felt his suffering was relatively minor. There was no comparison. He left the Rosh Yeshiva like the rest of them, consoled and with renewed vigor.

7. They are bound to come

We find in several places that the Torah is compared to light. Light serves to illuminate dark, to save one from stumbling. Some modern Western concepts are part of this darkness. Influenced by them, we are living in darkness, as we are absent of the light of truth. In our modern day so-ciety we are taught that life is supposed to be almost trouble free. People are not supposed to have blemishes, whether physical or spiritual. No one is supposed to get sick, or suffer any trouble. This lesson is ‘taught’ to us continu-ally, without abate. for example, we ‘learn’ this when we read vari-ous advertisements on billboards and in magazines and hear radio commercials. We see only beautiful people who lead trouble free lives. Prolonged exposure to this concept leads a person to think that life is or should be almost trouble free. This is a great mistake. Apart from the fact that it is simply not true, it causes a person who has yissurim to feel that he has been shortchanged. While everyone else is sailing through life without problems, here he is with a host of health issues, financial woes or social problems. He feels shocked and caught off guard when his yissurim come. He becomes afraid when he looks to the blurry future, asking himself, “Where will this lead?” He cannot concentrate on his work, needless to say on his prayers. He becomes depressed and loses hope. A terrible darkness indeed.

Our Sages have shone light on the matter. They tell us that life is full of yissurim. The natural course of life is to be fraught with

Life includes hardship; once we accept that,

difficulties are far less traumatic

difficulties, varying in their nature and intensity. This is the life of a typical person. One who does not have suffering in his life is a rare exception. They advise that we should always be prepared for difficulty, and that if it has not befallen us yet, it is surely on the way. Nitai HaArbeli says,256 “Do not despair of misfortune.” Rashi explains: “If you are wealthy, do not rely upon your wealth, because misfortune comes swiftly.” We find this point made clearly in the Sefer HaYoshar:257

He should prepare himself with strength and fortitude to greet misfortune, and think of them even before they ar-rive, and wait for them every day, every hour … he should say to himself, if trouble does not strike today, it will strike tomorrow, and if it does not come tomorrow, then it will come after tomorrow. If he does this, and his eyes and heart expect them, then when trouble indeed inevitably arrives, it will not disturb him, neither will he neglect his Divine Service, for he will be prepared and resigned from the outset to accept them. This is the way of the tzaddik, for he thinks and knows that the world is nothing more than a conglomeration of misfortune. This being the case, his eyes and heart should watch for them every moment, and this way they will not catch him off guard nor will he be frightened when they come.

Amazing! Just the opposite of what so many think. But let us ask: Why is it so? Why is the world full of such misfortune?

The answer is that, in fact, we are at fault for almost all of it. How so? We saw above that most of the troubles a person has is a result of his own negligence. After that, we have yissurim which come as atone-ment. The vast majority of us, having made mistakes in the past, be it transgressions of Rabbinic nature or Torah prohibitions, have a price to pay. Depending on the nature of the sin, even if a person has al-

256 Avos 1:7.257 Shaar 6. See Rashi on Tehillim 38:18.


ready repented, he may still need to endure some measure of yissurim to gain atonement.258 The Ramban writes,259 “for suffering on account of transgression will come, true, reliable and steadfast, for Hashem runs His world with this attribute.”

Thus, we have two types of people: Those who expect life to be a bed of roses, and those who expect life to be full of trials. The difference between the two is evident at the onset of a setback. The former type becomes upset and frustrated. He has been knocked off balance and might take a while to regain his foothold. In the meantime, he ‘is not himself ’ and cannot function properly. The latter is not at all surprised, quite to the contrary, he has been expecting hard times. He copes with his setbacks with great ease, having resigned himself for some years now that all of this is to be expected as part of life.

consider this parable:

Two children, Reuven and Shimon, were walking in a great forest, when suddenly the sky became overcast and it started to rain heavily. They had nowhere to take shel-ter. Reuven began to complain, “Today was supposed to be fun and exciting, but now it is spoiled. By the time we get home, we will be drenched and muddy.” for his part, Shimon continued walking along calmly, as if nothing had happened. Reuven asked him, “How can you be so happy? Our wonderful hike is ruined.” Shimon said, “Yesterday, I listened to the weather report. It said that heavy rains were to be expected. I made up my mind to hike as much as I could, and if it should get rained out, so be it.”

We all need to know that the life forecast is for scattered show-ers with a possibility of thunderstorms. Bearing this in mind we are resigned and prepared for all types of weather.

258 See more on this in tractate Yoma 86a.259 Introduction to Sefer Iyov.

Once, a mother came to Rebbetzin Kanievsky requesting a blessing to be redeemed (a y’shua) from her unfortunate lot. The Rebbetzin asked what the problem was, to which she re-plied, “You see, with thanks to God, I have a large family, twelve children in all, and I feel my house has transformed into a hospital. If it is not one child there is another who is sick, or needs to see a doctor about something. There always seems to be some sort of problem.” The Rebbetzin took in the request to her husband, Rabbi Chaim Kanievsky. Upon listening to her plight, he responded, “I do not understand the problem. You have just described life in a typical Jewish household!”

8. Yissurim — a powerful remedy

We find a great insight in Sefer HaLikutim:260

It is befitting for you to know, that yissurim benefit a per-son’s soul in the same way that medicine cures an illness. god decrees yissurim on a person, which are precisely designed to cure the soul of the specific sins it has per-formed. Accordingly, the yissurim heal and strengthen an otherwise weakened and compromised soul. Therefore, a person who complains of his yissurim and rejects their goodness, is akin to a sick person who rejects choice medi-cine. There is no greater foolishness than this.

A man with a disease is resigned to go through a treatment, albeit painful, in order to be cured. He is prepared to pay enormous amounts

of money for this. This is the case even where his suffering through the treat-ment is guaranteed, but the cure is not! He is willing to take the risks.

260 Authored by Rabbi Moshe Dovid volley (one of the foremost disciples of the Ramchal), at the end of his section on yissurim.

Yissurim help ‘cure’ our souls of their

‘sicknesses’


How much more so should one be wholeheartedly resigned to re-ceive Hashem’s yissurim, which come for free and are certain to cure.

9. Yissurim do not last forever

If a person finds himself facing a difficult situation, it is a good thing for him to bear in mind that without any shadow of a doubt, there will be an end to his yissurim. The Steipler gaon writes:261“You should always remember in times of difficulty, that all this will pass with time, and you need to know that everything that Hashem does is for the best.” This, in fact, is an explicit verse, as it says262 “I shall not quarrel forever, nor be angry always.”

The gemara263 reveals a most fascinating truth:

This is the way of yissurim, when they are decreed to be delivered to a person, they are put under oath264 to visit their individual only on a specific day (no sooner nor later), and similarly they are put under oath not to leave the afflicted person until an appointed day and hour. They may only leave by means of a particular person in accordance with the medicine he has prescribed.265

Yissurim can make life painful. Re-alizing that for sure there is a light at the end of the tunnel takes the edge off the pain.

261 Krayna d’Igresa §92.262 Yeshayah 57.263 Avodah Zarah 55a.264 That is to say that the angel presiding over the yissurim is made to vow, as the Maharsha

explains in his Chiddushei Aggados there. 265 In light of the above quote, one might erroneously be led to believe that once yissurim are

decreed, there is not anything to be done until they have run their full course. This is most certainly not the case, as the Maharsha writes (in his Chiddushei Aggados there), “Repen-tance, prayer and charity definitely can remove the evil decree, causing it to be nullified even before its set time, and can annul the oath that the angel took. However, the man who does not take advantage of these options (repentance etc), will suffer in accordance with the oath.”

Yissurim do not last forever; there is light

at the end of the tunnel

In conclusion, the one who contemplates the above men-tioned points will find it easier to resign himself to accepting the Divine Justice involved in his yissurim. However, it does not stop there. We will discuss in the next chapter how a regular person can be rendered capable of going further and even rejoice in his suffering.

Rejoicing over Yissurim 117

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ReJoiCing oVeR YissuRim

person who is able to exhibit happiness in his por-tion of yissurim has risen to a great level. He is a most distinguished person. He enjoys life in this world, while looking forward to great blessing in the

next. He will be considered among the elite who have been called in Heaven as ‘those who love Hashem’. He may be unrecognized in this world, but in the World to come he will shine like the sun at noon, as our Sages say:266 “It is written of those who rejoice in suffering,267 ‘Those who love Him, shall emerge as the sun in its brilliance.’” This great man is considered truly wealthy, as we are taught in Pirkei Avos:268 “Who is wealthy? He who is happy with his portion,” and Rashi explains, “He possesses freedom of spirit

266 Shabbos 88b.267 Shoftim 5:31.268 4:1.

all of us can learn to accept yissurim happily — it is not just for tzaddikim

and goodness of heart in the specific portion that Hashem has pre-pared for him, whether it is good or bad.”269

Is accepting yissurim happily beyond a regular person’s grasp, something reserved for only the select few? certainly not! If a person will invest effort, he will see that he also is capable of receiving yis-surim without reservation, appreciate and even be happy with them.

This is not a mere theory. It has been tried and tested, and has practical application for each of us. What is the secret? If one contem-plates the great Divine Kindnesses involved with the yissurim process, the abundance of mercy coupled with the enormous benefits, he sees his troubles as fortunes in disguise. His troubles are in place of mani-fold losses. Who would not be happy?

Here is a collection of some of the kindnesses involved in yissurim. contemplate each one, and see for yourself how you receive your next trial. Note that this is at best only a partial list, as when trying to as-certain the extent of Divine Kindness, we must realize that we have only just scratched the surface. for every drop that we know, there is an ocean of kindness that we do not know. These great kindnesses and gains come in four categories.

1. His sins will be atoned2. The privilege of serving the King 3. Remembering the benefits of yissurim4. All that Hashem does is for the best

1. his sins will be atoned

We explained before that yissurim (except those of negligence) are an atonement for sin. Let us gain a greater appreciation of this. The Midrash states,270 “Yissurim are precious, for they appease Hashem

269 concerning a person who suffers from sickness. If he is able to be accept his lot with happiness, he merits that his strength will not wane, and that he will overcome his illness. This is evident from Mishlei (18:14) with the commentaries of Rashi and the vilna gaon respectively.

270 Midrash Tehillim §94.

118 Rejoicing over YissurimThis Too Is For The Best 119

more than sacrifices. A sin-offering and a guilt-offering only atone for the particular sin for which they were brought, whereas yissurim can atone for everything.” Similarly, we learn in the gemara:271

Just as a single tooth or eye, which is but a single part of a human body, [its loss] sets a slave free; yissurim, which affect the entire body, all the more so! And this is the les-son taught by R’ Shimon ben Lakish… “Yissurim eliminate all of a person’s transgressions.”

Note that Rebbi Shimon ben Lakish said that yissurim can elimi-nate “all of a person’s transgressions” — every last misdeed commit-ted over the span of an entire life!272 A very powerful statement.

One can learn another point from the words of R’ Shimon ben Lakish. He mentioned “transgressions.” In the original Hebrew text the word used is ‘avon’ (עון). ‘Avon’ trans-gressions are to be contrasted to ‘Chait’ transgressions. ‘Chait’ implies (חטא)an unintentional misdeed, whereas the word ‘avon’ has more gravity, implying an intentional misdeed.273 In light of this, we see that yissurim are so potent that they can atone for even transgressions committed intentionally — and all the more so for unintentional misdeeds.

There is more. The Ramchal writes:274

In terms of strict justice, a sinner should rightfully be punished immediately upon transgressing without any lapse of time at all. furthermore, the punishment itself ought to be meted out with fury, as is appropriate for one who has disobeyed the order of the creator, and no pos-sibility of correcting the sin ought to exist. After all, how

271 Brachos 5a. See also the Mechilta of Rabbi Yishmael Parshas Yisro 10.272 In fact, yissurim have the ability to atone also for previous incarnations of one’s soul, an

assertion commonly found in the kabbalistic writings.273 cf. Mishnah Berurah 621 §17.274 Mesilos Yesharim end of ch. 4.

Yissurim bring atonement

can a person correct what was already done? for example, if one has killed a man, or if he has engaged in immoral-ity, how is it possible to correct such a thing? How can he remove the deed from reality? What was done was done.

Still, the attribute of Divine Mercy grants the opposite of the three things we have mentioned. The sinner is not eliminated from the world immediately upon sinning, rather time is given. The punishment itself is not commensurate to the severity of the sin, rather it is mitigated with mercy. And, repentance is granted to sinners as a pure act of kindness, so that uprooting one’s willingness [to sin], is treated as uprooting the [sinful] act itself.

Rabbeinu Yona expounds:275

A person is obligated to think and to realize that the mis-fortune that finds him and the suffering that visits him, are not on par with the severity of his transgression or the multitude of his sins. Hashem sends yissurim with great compassion as a father would his son, as it is written,276 “Know in your heart, that as a man chastises his son (out of love), so too Hashem your god sends you yissurim.” Hashem tells us,277 “Your heart knows the misdeeds you have done, and the suffering I have brought upon you, and that I have not punished you to the severity of your misdeeds.”

Although a person might deserve a great punishment, he can merit to have much less suffering, and yet still accomplish the same atonement. The Midrash explains,278 “It can be that if a man trans-gresses a sin whose punishment is death by Divine Decree, his cow

275 Shaarei Teshuvah 4:13.276 Devarim 8:5.277 Yalkut Shimoni, Shemos §303.278 Pesikta §25:161.


will die, or his chicken will be lost, or his jug will shatter, or he will stub his toe. A portion of one’s soul is counted as the entire soul.”

Absolutely incredible! Even the mere loss of one’s belongings or the pain of stubbing a toe can (at times) be considered a fitting substi-tute for much more serious punishments. In light of this Midrash we may understand an otherwise perplexing piece of gemara:279

Rav Yosef expounded: What is meant by what is writ-ten, “I shall thank you Hashem, for You exhibited anger towards me, turn back Your anger and console me?” The verse is understood with the following true story. Once there were two men who embarked on a business trip on board a ship. On their way to the ship one of the men was stabbed by a thorn, and was prevented from con-tinuing his journey as a result. He began to curse and bewail. After a few days, he heard that the boat sank at sea. No survivors. Upon hearing this he began to give thanks and praise.

The gemara implies that as a result of being stabbed by the thorn, the surviving merchant was saved from death. However, if the surviv-ing merchant really deserved to die, why was he spared? The answer is derived from the aforementioned Midrash. Sometimes, even stub-bing one’s toe can be in place of death. If so, we may say that really the second merchant also deserved to die, but in the merit of his good deeds Hashem had mercy on him and the thorn served as a substitute for the death penalty, as surely we can assume that a thorn stab is no less than a stubbed toe.

Similarly, with this Midrash in mind we gain new insight in the age old custom of kaparos280 on the eve of Yom Kippur. The Ten Days of Repentance between Rosh

279 Niddah 31a.280 The custom is to take a chicken on the eve of Yom Kippur and wave it over one’s head, and

then send it to get ritually slaughtered and be eaten by a poor family.

Yissurim can prevent greater suffering in this world and the

World to come

Hashana and Yom Kippur are a period of immense Divine Mercy, and thus, Hashem accepts the kaparos in lieu of other punishments the person actually deserved, considering what happens to the chicken as though it happened to the person himself.281

Through yissurim, one is spared from a more serious form of pun-ishment. However, it does not stop there. This form of Divine Kind-ness is not restricted only to the myriad sufferings of this world, rath-er it extends also to exempt a person (at least in part) from the greater punishments of the Next World. The Baal HaTanya explains:282

The reason for rejoicing over physical suffering is that it brings a great advantage to the person in need of atone-ment, since it facilitates an atonement of sin from his soul in this world. With this he becomes spared from the purifica-tion process rendered by visiting Gehinom. [This point holds particular relevance to our times, since we do not have the strength to fast the appropriate number of times the Arizal delineates to cleanse the soul of each particular sin and spare it from the cleansing of Gehinom.] Rather, since this world is built on kindness, a small amount of suffering here in this world can spare a person from many harsh punishments in the Next World. This can be compared to the shadow of the sun. Although the shadow only moves a handbreadth on the ground, even so it represents a movement of the sun of many thousands of miles. The same is true of reward and punishment, multiplied many times over.

Just as an elongation of a shadow (cast by the sun) of only a few centimeters represents a movement of the sun of several thousands of miles, so too, a little bit of yissurim in this world removes an enor-mous amount of future suffering.

In order to gain an appreciation of what it means to gain an exemption of suffering from the Next World one must understand

281 See Mishnah Berurah Simon 605 s.p.2.282 Iggeres HaTeshuvah ch. 12


what suffering is really like. The Ramban in his commentary to Sefer Iyov writes:283

If god should strip a person of all the good that this world has, and in its stead he should suffer all of his days as Iyov suffered… still, it is better to endure such suffering and be spared Gehinom, for if one were to pass away without full atonement he will perforce be made to receive his judg-ment in the world of souls, in the purgatory of Gehinom (which eclipses all suffering of this world many times over, as will be explained).

The Chafetz Chaim284 writes in a similar vein:

Our Sages state:285 “Those that pass through the valley of tears [Gehinom] shall make it a wellspring, for they (those who still need atonement) shed tears like the river that flows from the libation holes on the Altar.” It is known, too, that the fire of the first level of Gehinom is sixty times hotter than the fire we know. The fire of the second level of Gehinom is sixty times hotter than the first level, and so it continues through all the [seven] levels … it is also known that the punishment of gilgul286 is more harsh than the punishment of Gehinom.

compared to the harrowing torture awaiting a person in the Next World, yissurim look better and better. Every little ache and pain endured down here represents a colossal exemption from horrible suffering in the future. consider the following true story:287

283 Introduction, Ibid.284 Shmiras HaLashon, Shaar HaTevunah §8.285 Eiruvin 19a.286 A different type of punishment found in the Next World to cleanse the soul. 287 conveyed by R’ Yaakov galinsky, as brought in “L’shichno Tidreshu,” section Mizkeinim Es-

bonan pg 47.

There was once a terminally ill man lying on his deathbed, suffering incredibly. Were it not for the various life support instruments he was attached to, he would surely have passed away some time ago. The doctor treating him, seeing that he had no chance of recovery and that he was suffering so much, decided it was about time to disconnect the poor man from life support. The man died shortly after.

After a few days, the dead man appeared to the doctor in a dream. He said, “Heaven had given me another four days to live attached to life support. I was meant to suffer intensely those four days. This would have purified me completely, and I would have been able to enter Gan Eden directly. But now, since you disconnected me and caused me to die prematurely, I still require the suffering of those four days, and I do not know how much time it will take to clear away the remainder of my sins.” [The doctor was so shaken by the dream that he repented and began to meticulously observe the dictates of the Torah.]

suffering comes a little at a timeAmong the host of Divine Mercies involved with yissurim is the

fact that they accomplish what they need to over a period of time and not in one fell blow. In other words, suffering comes in “installments.” Rabbeinu Yona writes:288

When yissurim come, they come little by little, until the blemish caused by the transgressions have dissipated, as it is written,289 “Only you have I known, of all the fami-lies of the earth; therefore I will visit upon you all of your transgressions.” Our Sages explain,290 “This may be com-pared to a man who gave loans to two people, one of them

288 Shaarei Teshuvah 4:13. See also Shem Olam, p. 265.289 Amos 3:2.290 Avodah Zarah 4a.


a friend, and the other an enemy. from his friend, he allowed to be repaid slowly, but from his enemy, he took back the money all at once.”

The Alshich points out,291 “from the Jewish People, Hashem exacts payment for their sins each day. It is not like this for the idolaters. [Hashem] holds back and all their sins accumulate into the future, such that they will be unable to survive the punishment, which is de-livered in one fell blow.”

This is further explained in the Sefer Mizrach Hashemesh292 which points out that the measure of Divine Kindness overcomes the mea-sure of strict judgment with regard to the Jewish People. Therefore, we outlast all our troubles. However, regarding the wicked nations of the world, the opposite holds true: The measure of strict judgment overcomes the measure of Divine Kindness, and thus they are destroyed immediately once their measure [of sin] is full, as it is written,293 “for I will annihilate all the peoples where I scattered you, but you I shall not annihilate [rather, I shall punish you accordingly, but I shall not completely destroy you].294

Yissurim are not instruments reflecting Divine Wrath and Anger, rather they reflect Divine Love and compassion, serving to heal and cleanse a person’s soul. Rabbeinu Yona295 compares having yissurim to a woman who has a blemish on her face. Most certainly she is not pained over the removal of it. Quite to the contrary, she is happy about it. So too when one has yissurim, it is fitting to be happy over them, as they

291 Eichah 1:22.292 Authored by Rav Moshe Dovid Walli. ch. 8.293 Yirmiyahu 46:28.294 This brings us to a very deep and important idea. Which nation has suffered as much as

the Jews? Persecutions, pogroms, anti-Semitism, the Holocaust… a person could look at our history and conclude that we are despised by god, Heaven forbid. After all, if He really loved us so much, we would not suffer so much! In truth, our suffering proves the exact opposite. The fact that we have received so many yissurim throughout history is in fact a sign of Divine Love for us. god is exacting His dues in a series of payments made over the course of the long term, in order to guarantee our survival here, and in the World to come.

295 On Mishlei 20:30 and 3:12.

Yissurim come piece by piece, allowing us to withstand them

work with sound success, to improve a person’s welfare. There is no goodness in this world which can compare to yissurim.

2. The privilege of serving the king

The Tur296 writes that since accepting yissurim with a whole heart is classified as a mitzvah, one should thus be happy to accept yissurim, as this is a means of serving Hashem. What greater a privilege in the world can there be than to be busy upholding the orders of the King of Kings?

This point is further explained in Orchos Tzaddikim:297

When a person performs [one of] the mitzvos, he should feel joy in his heart over the privilege he has been given to serve the Exalted King to whom the Heavenly hosts prostrate themselves.

We can appreciate this idea even better from the words of the Pele Yoetz:298

Then he will feel ever greater joy on having the privilege of being the servant of the superior, awesome King, Whose excellence cannot be fathomed, and Who chose

us from among all the peoples, and over all the Heavenly hosts; Who desires us and Who loves us… This is a privilege that has no equal to the person who ponders

the greatness of the creator, in contrast to the lowliness of mankind. from these thoughts, he will come to know

296 Orach Chaim 222:3.297 Shaar HaSimchah.298 Erech “Ahavah laKadosh Baruch Hu.”

accepting yissurim with a whole heart

is a mitzvah — and a way to serve the King


and recognize that it is a wonderful thing that [Hashem] has chosen us and drawn us into His service.

Similarly the Ramchal writes:299 “This is the true joy, over which a man’s heart should leap… to occupy himself with Hashem’s To-rah and His mitzvos, for these [lead to] true perfection and eternal eminence.” It is evident that nothing can be better than using one’s time and energies to fulfill Hashem’s mitzvos. They are of the highest order. Therefore it only follows that one should be happy when he is presented with the opportunity to serve god by doing a mitzvah. As accepting yissurim is a mitzvah, one should be happy about the op-portunity presented.

Two further points need to be made on the topic: first of all, the fact that one should be happy over the privilege to serve Hashem ap-plies to doing all mitzvos, including mitzvos of Rabbinic origin.300 All of them share a common denominator; they are a way of serving the Master of the Universe. What a privilege and what joy!

Secondly, not only is it a tremendous merit and advantage to be able to attend to the wishes of Hashem, it is also a great honor. A servant is held in esteem according to the prestige of his master, much as an employee is held in esteem according to his boss or the company he works for. We see this regarding the episode of the burial of Sarah: Sarah had just passed away, and Avraham needed to acquire a burial plot. He was interested in using the cave of the Machpelah, which was situ-ated in the estate of Efron ben Tzochar. Rashi301 informs us that the very day that Avraham was in need of the plot, the townspeople el-evated Efron to a position of prominence. As a result of Efron being needed by the great Avraham, he was automatically seen as a pres-tigious person, and thus became duly promoted. If this is the case

299 Mesilos Yesharim ch. 19. 300 See Shabbos 23a.301 Bereishis 23:10.

It is an honor to serve God

in serving the needs of a mortal person, all the more so is it a great honor to be enlisted in the service of Hashem.

3. Remembering the benefits of yissurim

The Midrash says:302 “‘Remember the days of old.’ Moshe was tell-ing the people, ‘Anytime Hashem sends upon you suffering, remem-ber all the good and consolation that He will grant you later, in the

Next World.’” Similarly we find in another Midrash,303 “When I (Hashem) bring upon you suffering, remember the reward I will give you on account of it.” It is worth our time to consider the positive value of yis-surim, even as we find ourselves in the

midst of them. By doing so we will find it easier to accept them whole-heartedly, and possibly even to rejoice over them.

Note: The benefits of yissurim have been elaborated on in chapter 4, and have been summarized in chapter 9.

A true story:304

It was during the final moments before Rebbi Avraham305 returned his soul to his Maker. He had been extremely sick for several weeks, and endured intense suffering. Still, he never once groaned, until his wife saw him in his terrible condition and began to cry, saying, “Oy, that I see you in such a condition!”

Rebbi Avraham swiftly replied, “Over what are you crying? Over the great gift that Hashem has given me? If I had the strength, I would leap and dance with every type of musical instrument over the fabulous goodness that He has done for me with this suffering, and you spurn this

302 Sifri Devarim §310.303 Midrash Tanaim, Devarim §32.304 Mentioned in the preface to his sefer, Maalos HaTorah.305 Brother of the vilna gaon and author of the sefer “Maalos HaTorah.”

It is easier to accept suffering if we

remember all the benefits we gain from

it


wonderful gift of mine!” Rebbi Avraham remained firm in his fiery joy until his pure soul departed.

4. all that hashem does is for the best.

Rav Huna said,306 “A man should accustom himself to say, ‘All that Hashem does if for the best.’” In chapter 5, we saw that it is illogical to immediately judge yissurim as being negative. This is because it still has yet to be seen what the outcomes of this occurrence might be. If misfortune brings great bounty, then retroactively the difficulty was really a blessing. Therefore, logic dictates that one should suspend judgment until the outcomes have become clear. This fact is self-evi-dent. However, in the Torah we find a fascinating twist to this theory: In reality, the outcomes of all yissurim are always good. So good, that they outweigh the difficulty endured by many. This holds true for ev-ery individual having yissurim.307

This principle is rooted in Sefer Bereishis308 when Yosef offers words of comfort and forgiveness to his brothers after they had betrayed him. He tells them, “You thought evil against me; god planned it for the best.” This statement holds true not just in the case of Yosef and his brothers, but was meant to be taken as a statement of fact for all yissurim. We find it written,309 “Hashem is Elohim.” The Ohr HaChaim310 reveals the depth of the statement. Even though the name “Elohim” relates to the attribute of strict judgment, still, there is mercy clothed in it. (Alluded to by the Tetragrammaton ‘Hashem’).311 Thus, in every case of Divine Justice (yissurim) contained therein is

306 Brachos 60b.307 As was mentioned before in chapter 3. While one accepts his yissurim he is allowed to

mourn his loss. However, when analyzing the results of the loss, this can serve to very much mitigate the trauma of the loss, and help to accept the loss.

308 50:20.309 Devarim 4: 35.310 Bereishis 1:1.311 See Sefer HaTanya p. 33, for a deep insight regarding this.

everything that happens — without exception — is for

the best

a generous measure of Divine Mercy as well. This measure of mercy outweighs the measure of strict justice.

One may ask: If we do not know what the kindnesses of the yis-surim are, how can we really appreciate them and be grateful for them? The Ramchal,312 on the verse “Turn back Your anger and have mercy upon me,”313 explains:

[We see mercy follows after the travail]… for Hashem will make known His ways in the future to all of the Jew-ish People, how even the rebukes and the suffering were nothing but good opportunities and really served to pre-pare them for blessing, for Hashem wants only that His creation should reach perfection, and He does not push away the wicked with both hands, on the contrary, He pu-rifies them in the furnace to mend them, that they should emerge clean of any blemish.

The Ramchal further writes,314

On the day of the great Judgment, the blessed Lord will re-veal before all of His creation all that has transpired from the day god created man on the earth, until that very day [of Judgment], and everyone will then recognize the straight-ness of His judgment in each and every act, great and small.

If a person never understood or saw the goodness behind his yis-surim (or those of others), he need not fear, because in the future, god will openly reveal their manifold blessings for all to see. Taking this lesson one step further, when a person is faced with yissurim, he ought to be happy just as he would be over any other good thing that happens to him. What difference is there if he sees how it is good now, or later? It definitely is good, and eventually he will understand how. The following parable makes the point well:

312 Daas Tevunos §54.313 Yeshayah 13:1.314 Daas Tevunos §170.


Once there was a very wealthy, generous and kindhearted man. He was a master biologist, specializing in DNA permu-tations. As a renowned expert in his field, he enhanced the flavors of fruits, and rendered produce immune to pestilence and disease, amongst other things. Now, this man had a son whom he loved without rival. As a display of his love he used to give his son presents as only he could give. He always gave one of two types of presents: fruit trees or thorn bushes. When his son received his first fruit tree, he rejoiced over it, recogniz-ing the obvious goodness at hand. However, when he received his first thorn bush, he was puzzled and confused. What good is a thorn bush? His confusion dissipated once the thorn bush went into bloom. His father, with all of his genius, altered the DNA of the thorn in a way that made it produce the most ex-travagant of flowers. After the flowers came the fruits, which eclipsed the taste of typical fruits many times over. Over the course of time he had come to receive many different types of his father’s thorn bushes. Each thorn bush had its own special set of qualities, they were all customized. No two were alike. The father showered his son with these types of gifts for all of his life. The son, after having caught on to his father’s pattern of gifts, used to be happy with the thorn bushes with the same joy as getting the fruit trees, as he could rely on his brilliant and loving father that the thorns would always bring in their wake some great blessing and bounty.

Hashem our god gives all of us fruit trees (things that happen which are obvi-ously good) or thorn bushes (things that happen where the good is not obvious). Should we not be as happy with the thorn bushes as we are with the fruit trees?

The person who masters the concept that everything is ultimately for the good, even if this goodness is hidden from the eyes of man,

Sometimes, thorn bushes are more

valuable than fruit trees

earns for himself a most envious blessing: He will merit to see — while he is still alive — how his suffering is a blessing in disguise. He will grasp the covert goodness in his yissurim. The Baal HaTanya in Ig-geres HaKodesh states,315 “[Therefore,] the believer will not be troubled over the suffering which befalls him, but will rather regard all of his matters, whether positive or negative, as equal in his eyes… and with this earnest belief, all becomes for him obviously good…”316

The Chafetz Chaim used to gently correct people if they said to him “something bad happened” or “something terrible hap-pened.” He explained to them that it is better to say that

“something hard or difficult hap-pened.” The reason for this being, that “bad” or “terrible” implies absolute bad with nothing good. Whereas “hard” or “difficult” does not negate the possibility of still being good.317

Note: Some of the manifold blessings found in yissurim have been mentioned. The Sages have praised the lot of the ‘baal yissurim.’ Based on this, one might be lead to think that if one has yissurim, or some-one else has yissurim, there is no reason to try to escape them or pray for their leave. After all, are they not really a great blessing? The faulti-ness of this logic will be discussed in chapter 8.

315 ch. 11.316 case examples of this point can be found in tractate Taanis 21a concerning Nachum Ish

gam Zu. 317 As related in the sefer “customs of the Chafetz Chaim.”

The chafetz chaim says, “Don’t say ‘things are bad;’

rather, say ‘things are hard’”

Substitutes for Yissurim 133

-7-

suBstitutes FoR YissuRim

e learned in chapter 2 that the main reason one has yissurim is to purify one’s soul from the spiri-tual blemishes accrued from transgressing the To-rah. Indeed, these blemishes can be considered as a

sickness of sorts, as it is written:318 “Heal my soul, for I have sinned against you.” In the world of medicine, there can be several remedies for one disease. Similarly, Hashem, in His great kindness and fore-thought, provided us with additional ways to remove these soul-blemishes. By taking these ‘remedies,’ one can diminish the amount of yissurim otherwise neces-sary, and sometimes even preclude the need for yissurim altogether.319

What are these remedies? There are two general categories.

318 Tehillim 41:5.319 See Tomer Devorah ch. 1, vilna gaon on Mishlei ch. 27, verse 6, sefer Shomer Emunim and

Pele Yoetz Erech Yissurim for an elaborate discussion.

Self-afflictions and mitzvos can replace

the need for yissurim

A) Self-affliction — self-proclaimed fasts, ritual immersion and similar tools.

B) Mitzvos — there are certain mitzvos which (apart from the perfection they add to a person’s soul), heal a person’s soul. These mitzvos can heal a person’s soul in the same capacity

as yissurim. It should be noted, that nei-ther self-affliction nor mitzvos atone if they are not preceded by a person’s sin-cere repentance.320

Although yissurim themselves are of great benefit, nonetheless, if a person can achieve the same objective in an easier way, this is obvi-ously preferable. Here one faces a choice: what type of remedy should a person choose? Self-affliction or mitzvos? Our Sages teach that it is far better to involve oneself in mitzvos than to self-inflict oneself. As the Shaarei Teshuvah recommends,321 “If a man has transgressed… he should set his heart toward fulfilling those mitzvos that protect from suffering.” It is well-known that the Baal Shem Tov and his disciples discouraged fasting and other self-afflictions, preferring rather to ful-fill the mitzvos with immense joy and happiness.

There are two reasons for this: first of all, today’s generation is much weaker than previous generations, both physically and spiritu-

ally. As a result, a person who engages in self-affliction is prone to becoming easily agitated or angry. If this occurs, nothing has been gained. Secondly, by involving himself in mitzvos, one is getting a lot

more out of his investment. Apart from atonement, one also gains the reward for the mitzvah fulfilled, as the Steipler writes:

320 We find this point made by several Rishonim. The Ritvah (Rosh HaShanah 16b) likens a per-son who seeks atonement without repentance to a person who dunks in the mikvah while still holding a sheretz (a defilement). See Rambam in Hilchos Teshuvah 2:3, Shaarei Teshuvah 1:19, and Orchos Tzaddikim in Shaar HaTeshuvah.

321 4:11.

Sins are compared to diseases; diseases can

have many cures

The best substitute for yissurim is

mitzvos, not self-afflictions

134 Substitutes for YissurimThis Too Is For The Best 135

The Midrash says:322 “Rebbi Alexandri said: You will find no man that has no suffering. Praised is the man whose suffering comes to him through the Torah…” That is, one’s portion of suffering is coming in any case. Praised is he who keeps the Torah’s path, for the suffering that was destined to befall him will be considered as though it already befell him through his efforts in keeping the Torah’s mitzvos. With this he merits everlasting reward in the Next World on account of the mitzvah performed, and all the suffering borne through fulfilling the mitzvah will be considered an enormous purification.

As was noted, the recommended ‘remedy’ to preclude yissurim is performing the mitzvos. The following list are mitzvos which are par-ticularly noted for their property to atone for transgression:323

1. excelling in shabbos observance

“Rebbi chiyya bar Abba said in the name of Rebbi Yochanan: Anyone who keeps Shabbos properly, even if he worships idols as in the days of Enosh, he will be forgiven.” We have a tradition from the Arizal324 that the perspiration which results from exertion in Shabbos prepa-rations has the power to erase a per-son’s sins, just as tears do. Bearing this in mind, we gain new impetus to learn the laws of Shabbos down to the finest detail. By fulfilling these laws, apart from earning great reward,325 one’s sins will be atoned.

322 Bamidbar Rabbah §92.323 Of course it goes without saying that the chief reason for doing any mitzvah is because it

is god’s Will. However, we see in many places in the Torah that the dividends for certain mitzvos, such as long life, have been revealed to us. This encourages us to perform mitzvos. Therefore, there is nothing wrong in doing a mitzvah with the intention of also getting atonement from it, much as a person does a mitzvah for reward in the World to come. See more in the Gemara Bava Basra 10b.

324 See Shaarei Teshuvah on Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 250:1.325 cf. Shabbos 10b.

Keeping Shabbos properly brings

atonement

2. charity

Although we are all familiar with this mitzvah, many of us do not recognize its greatness. Hashem, in His loving kindness, bestowed in the mitzvah of charity incredibly great powers. Apart from the Gan Eden a person merits, he also merits atonement on a grand scale. In-deed, we find in Sefer HaTanya326 that amongst all of the mitzvos that are contingent on action, the mitzvah of charity is the greatest of them all.

Our Sages say,327 “More than the benefactor does for the pauper, the pauper does for the benefactor.” How can this be understood? The gemara explains that this is true even if the benefactor does so sole-ly to benefit from charity’s dividends, as the Sages say,328 “One who stipulates, ‘this coin will go to charity so that my son should live,’ is perfectly righteous.”329 Let us learn about some of the outstanding components of giving charity and understand what the pauper does for the benefactor.

Rebbi Elazar said,330 “In the days when our Holy Temple stood, a man would make a donation to the Temple and be atoned. Now that the Temple does not stand, if he gives charity, he finds himself in good stead.” Similarly we find in the Midrash331 that as a result of charity, a person attains atonement even for sins committed intentionally.

The gemara writes,332 “four things tear up an evil decree. They are: charity, prayer, changing one’s name and changing one’s deeds.” Our Sages make a fascinating observation — Rebbi chiyya bar Abba taught

326 ch. 37.327 Vayikra Rabbah 34:8.328 Bava Basra 10 b.329 This statement is qualified. He is considered perfectly righteous on condition that even if

the desired outcome fails to materialize, he does not regret giving the charity. If he should regret having done the mitzvah, he will have transgressed the dictum (Avos 1:3), “Do not be as servants who serve their master for the sake of a reward.” See sefer Chafetz Chaim, Hil. Lashon Hara 2:12 and the note there.

330 Bava Basra 9a.331 Devarim Rabbah 5:3.332 Rosh Hashanah 16b.


in the name of Rebbi Yochanan:333 “It is written,334 ‘Riches will not help on the day of wrath, but charity rescues from death.’ We also find it stated,335 ‘The storehouses of the wicked will not help, but charity res-cues from death.’” Why does the Torah say twice that charity rescues from death? We know the Torah does not have even one redundant letter, needless to say a redundant word or phrase. If so, what is the lesson the Torah wishes to teach by the apparent redundancy? An-swers Rebbe chiyya bar Abba, one verse is to teach that charity saves a person from an untimely death (and all the more so from sicknesses and other suffering),336 and the other verse is to teach that charity has the power to rescue one from the untold suffering of Gehinom.337

Not only can tzedakah prevent yissurim from coming in the first place, it can also remove them after they have already arrived. Rab-beinu Yona comments on the verse,338 “A gift in secret conceals [Divine]Anger, and a bribe in the bosom, [conceals] intense fury.” — Even when a man is in the thick of trouble, after the decree has been issued on account of his sins, ‘the bribe (charity) in the bosom’ subdues it.

How can we maximize charity’s atonement power? The Mishnah Berurah339 explains that according to the extent one gives, will be his reward, as the Sages say,340 “According to the exer-tion is the reward,” thus the more money

333 Bava Basra 10a.334 Mishlei 11:4.335 Ibid. 10:2.336 See Iggeres HaKodesh (Baal HaTanya) No. 21: “The charitable deed is above them all. It

shields and rescues in this world from all kinds of pending calamity as it is written, ‘charity rescues from death,’ — if charity saves from death, than all the more so it saves from other kinds of suffering.”

337 The gemara cited stipulates that not every charity has the property to rescue from death. Which charity does? Only charity that is given in a fashion that the benefactor does not know who is receiving his charity, and similarly the recipient does not know who gave it. This can be easily accomplished by giving charity anonymously to a charity fund, which distributes the money to the poor.

338 Mishlei 21:14.339 §334:81.340 Avos 5:23.

Giving tzedakah is very powerful and has many benefits

given, the harder it is, the more atonement there is. Why is charity so powerful? It seems that the benefits gained far

outweigh what the benefactor has done. Here are two explanations:

1. Our Sages say,341 “Anyone who saves one Jewish soul, it is as if he has saved an entire world.” This seems out of proportion, but Rashi explains: Hashem created man as a singular entity (Adam), as opposed to animals who were created as an entire species. This was to demonstrate that the whole universe was created just for Adam’s sake alone. Each person in the world is akin to ‘Adam.’ Therefore, one should realize that even had he been the only person in the world, he is so important that Hashem would create the entire universe just for him! As each individual is so immensely important, it follows, that by help-ing another person, he is really helping an extremely important individual, a person on whose account the entire world was cre-ated. This renders his act of charity an act of gargantuan propor-tion, helping us understand his great reward, while at the same time to appreciate the importance and nobility inherent to each one of us.

2. Rashi342 points out an additional reason on the verse where Hashem admonishes cain after he murdered his brother,343 “The voice of your brother’s bloods are crying out to Me.” Why is ‘bloods’ written in plural? Our Sages344 say that this unusual plural tense teaches that a murderer is held accountable not just for the death of his victim, but also for his victim’s future descendants. This means that one act of murder is, in essence, akin to mas-sacre. How does this connect to charity? We know that Hashem rewards for a good deed 500 times more than He punishes a

341 Bava Basra 11a.342 Ibid.343 Bereishis 4:10.344 Sanhedrin 37a.


transgression.345 If so, when a person helps another live (by pro-viding food or money), he is given enormous credit for this. Not only is he supporting one needy individual, he is supporting this poor person’s future descendants. Just as when one mur-ders he is guilty of murdering future descendants, then all the more so by giving charity, he is credited for giving life to future offspring.346

When giving tzedakah, a person supports another human be-ing, for whom the world was created. He is also credited for helping all of his recipient’s descendants, who are all of the same grandeur. Surely his reward is justly very great! With a slight movement of the hand, and with a sum of money no greater than a penny,347 one fulfills this incredible Torah commandment.

It is important to mention that tzedakah is not exclusively money handouts. In fact, one can fulfill this great mitzvah without giving a dime. How so?

1. Offering words of hope and encouragement to a needy person. We find in the gemara,348 “One who appeases the pauper with words is greater than the one who gives him only money.”349

2. causing others to give charity. Rabbeinu Yona writes in Shaa-rei Teshuvah,350 “One who does not have money to give to charity,

345 for example, if the punishment for not doing a commandment were to be fined one hun-dred dollars, than the reward given for doing it would be 50,000 dollars.

346 This applies to giving charity even where there is no question of life and death. The fact that a person has helped provide sustenance to a needy person, is enough. This is because he helped him to continue to live (he has bought food with the money given, and lives from the food, etc.) Thus, in a small way, he has a hand in the pauper’s future offspring, as he helped him to live to get there. As was stated before, the attribute of Divine Kindness eclipses the attribute of strict justice 500 times.

347 Explained in the sefer Orach Tzedakah, ch. 1, Note 35, in the name of several poskim, that with even less than a ‘prutah,’ one fulfills this mitzvah.

348 Bava Basra 9b.349 The reason for this might be because it is greater to support a poor man’s spirit, than it is

his body.350 4:11.

Kind words can be more powerful than

money

should speak well of the poor person and be his advocate by re-questing from others to benefit him. Our Sages say,351 ‘greater is the one who drives others to act, than the one who in fact gives of his own.’” How can this be understood? consider two explanations:

A. The Chochmas Adam352 explains that the one giving the charity performs one mitzvah, while the one causing money to be given performs two mitzvos:1) He has caused benefit to the poor person by creating a means

by which his financial burden has become eased. 2) He has caused benefit to the donor by providing him the op-

portunity to fulfill the precious mitzvah of charity.

B. The sefer Orach Tzedakah explains (in the name of HaRav chaim Kanievsky, shlita) that while the giver feels gratified for having exercised his generosity and the poor recipient feels relieved upon receiving the money he needs, the one who supplicated and encouraged the giver shares none of these pleasures, thus his reward becomes multiplied.

Note: One should be cautious of the charitable causes he gives to in order to avoid fraudulent groups. One should consult with a quali-fied Orthodox rabbi before donating to verify the legitimacy and wor-thiness of the cause.353

351 Bava Basra 9a.352 Klal 144:14.353 Among all of the worthy causes, the greatest of them all is to support poor Torah scholars

in Eretz Yisroel. Apart from the merit of charity and supporting the Yishuv of Eretz Yisroel, a person gains the merit of the Torah learned as a result of his help in propagating the scholar to continue in his Holy Torah studies. giving to a Kollel is a classic example of this. With this, he also can give while remaining anonymous, as the benefactor does not know the scholar, nor does the scholar know him. The merit of this can save him from the most dire straits, as mentioned above, while at the same time his portion in the World to come is not compromised. See the gemara in Brachos 34b concerning a person fortunate enough to have a Torah scholar benefit from his possessions.


3. acts of kindness

The following story has a compelling message:354

Once there was a man named Yaakov who had three friends. Friend A, Friend B and Friend C. A he loved, oh so much. B he was quite fond of, but not to be compared to A. C was a friend, but not much beyond that. One day, Yaakov received a court summons. There were charges leveled against him of the nature that if found guilty, he would stand to suffer terribly. The trial was set to take place in two weeks. “Time must not be wasted,” Yaakov thought to himself. “I need to enlist the help of my friends. I need character witnesses.” He called Friend A, pleading for help in his time of need, wishing that A testify about their warm relationship in the past. A responded bluntly and to the point, “Sorry Yaakov, the buck stops here. I absolutely refuse to help you in any way shape or form. In this case you are on your own.” Yaakov felt bitterly disappointed and betrayed. Not losing hope, he turned to B. He dialed the number, anxiously. B answered the phone and heard the predicament. B expressed deep con-cern and worry yet would not provide the help Yaakov most desperately needed. B offered to give Yaakov a free drive to the courthouse but refused to set foot in the court. Yaakov pleaded with B but to no avail. Having almost given up hope, Yaakov remembered C. Maybe he can be of some assistance. Having nothing to lose, Yaakov gave C a ring. To his relief C answered. When C heard of the crisis, he sprang into action. “Why, this is what friends are for!” said C. C offered to go to the court early (ensuring not to be late), and to be a charac-ter witness, pleading the case to the best of his ability. And so it came to transpire. A and B didn’t come to the trial, but

354 Based on the Midrash in Pirkei D’Rabbi Eliezer ch. 33, and the writings of the vilna gaon on Mishlei 18:24.

The best substitute for yissurim is mitz-vos, not self-afflictions

C arrived early, and pleaded Yaakov’s case with cunning and wit. The charges were waived. C reasserted to Yaakov how much he enjoys the friendship and looks forward to cultivat-ing the relationship farther. After leaving the courthouse, Yaakov began to reassess his friendships...

These three friends are not fictitious. In fact, each of us has these three friends.355 Who are they?

friend A is a person’s money and possessions. friend B is a person’s family, friends and relatives. friend c is a person’s acts of kindness. When a person receives a summons to appear before the Heaven-

ly court (i.e. his time has come to depart from this world), charges are brought against him. His money and possessions (A) remain back at his house. They can no longer be of any service. His family and friends (B) carry and escort him to the gates of the court (the grave), but not beyond. His acts of kindness (c) accompany him to the trial and defend him effec-tively. They continue on in a mutual friendship in the Next World.

Acts of kindness do not help a person only in the future, they also assist him presently. The Orchos Tzaddikim writes,356 “Acts of kindness shield a person and protect him from suffering; they even spare him from death.” In truth, acts of kindness are even greater than giving charity for three reasons, as our Sages say:357

1. charity can be done only with one’s money, but kind acts can be done with either one’s money or body.

2. charity can only be given to the needy, while acts of kindness can be done to the needy and the wealthy.

3. charity can only be given to the living, while acts of kindness can be done with the living and the deceased.

355 Although the degree of closeness with each one of these friends is different for each person.

356 Shaar HaTeshuvah.357 Sukkah 49b.


Acts of kindness include visiting the sick, bringing happiness to a groom and his bride and any type of action that provides a fellow Jew with something he needs, including giving nachas.358

Even giving someone a smile or offering a drink is included. Acts of kindness bring a person to atonement, while the reward for his good deeds remain intact, serving him in this world and the next. Is it not worthwhile to cultivate a warm relationship with this cherished “friend?”

4. learning Torah

Rava said,359 “Anyone who involves himself in Torah study does not need an olah sacrifice, a minchah or asham.” Rashi explains, “for Torah study atones for one’s sins.” We similarly find in the Midrash in regards to the Torah,360 “It is a tree of life to those who support it.”361 How is the Torah a tree of life? Even if a man transgressed the most severe of sins, he still has a way to make reparation — if he was used to learning one page of Torah a day, now he should learn two, if he was used to learning one chapter, now he should learn two. The se-fer Maalos HaTorah writes, “We can only inspire ourselves to repent, and that is the Torah. The Torah is in place of bringing sacrifices in our day and age, as the Arizal mentions, that all the kinds of self-afflictions and fasting were meant for the earlier generations, but the later genera-tions are of weak constitution, and therefore the primary form of re-pentance is doubling our efforts in Torah study as much as possible.”

Torah learning is capable of purify-ing even the most contaminated of souls. However, it is important to mention that there are many parts of Torah362 and many

358 See Ahavas Chesed at length.359 Menachos 110a.360 Vayikra Rabbah §25:1.361 Mishlei 3:18.362 for example, Mishnah, gemara, Halacha, Tanach etc.

engaging in chesed earns a person

‘friends’ that help him greatly in this world and the next

Learning Torah is a powerful shield against yissurim

styles of learning,363 some of which are more appropriate for purifica-tion than others. As the Noam Elimelech writes,364 “A man should puri-fy his body and his soul by learning gemara with Tosfos; also learning the Aggadetas are particularly powerful to purify his soul.” Since learn-ing Torah acts as atonement, it relinquishes the need to have yissurim.

We have seen that giving charity is so great, it can redeem a per-son even from the midst of yissurim. can learning Torah do the same? The gemara answers,365 “Rebbi Shimon ben Lakish says, ‘Anyone who involves himself in Torah, suffering flees from him...’” We similarly find it written in Tanna d’Bei Eliyahu,366 “If you see yissurim begin to befall you, run to learn Torah, and the suffering will flee immediately from you…” It is clear that learning Torah is a powerful shield pre-venting the onset of yissurim and can even remove them after they have “visited.” How does this work?

The Ramchal writes367 that learning Torah affects a person deeply. The one who engages in Torah learning finds himself inwardly encour-aged to repent. By repenting, he becomes atoned for.

Another explanation is that the toil and effort expended in the learning serve as a substitute for the suffering he was meant to have. The Shaarei Teshuvah writes,368 “When a person sets his toil in Torah, and he expends effort in it and drives sleep from his eyes, this takes the place of suffering.”

There is a great advantage to have atonement through toiling in Torah. Through toiling in Torah, man gains atonement for his sins while also receives double reward in this world and the next, as the mitzvah of learning Torah is the very greatest of all mitzvos, and ac-cording to his efforts will be his reward. As Rav chaim of volozhin writes,369 “Suffering wipes away a person’s sins. But if he is wise, he

363 for example, slow in depth learning, or fast “bekius” learning.364 cited in Hanhagos HaAdam §6.365 Brachos 5a.366 Eliyahu Rabbah §7.367 Mesilos Yesharim ch. 5.368 4:11.369 Ruach Chaim 6:5.


will not wait until Hashem sends him suffering. Instead, he will accept upon himself suffering through involvement in Torah … he will gain by this, that his suffering will be counted as a mitzvah in his favor, aside from his atonement.”

5. Torah combined with acts of kindness

It is written in Mishlei,370 “With kindness and truth is sin atoned.” The vilna gaon371 explains, “The best and most effective of all self-mortification is to learn Torah and also perform acts of kindness… for this will atone for his sin.”

The Malbim372 points out that this wondrous combination atones even for transgressions performed knowingly (zadon), and all the more so if he transgressed unknowingly. He mentions that the Torah being dis-cussed and the kind deeds we are referring to are not just any Torah or kindness, rather specifically Torah which is learned in depth (iyun), and kindness where the one performing it does so without condition of receiving compensation.

Torah combined with kindness has the added advantage of pro-tecting one from the ‘birth pangs’ preceding the Messianic Age. We find in the gemara,373 “The students of Rebbi Eliezer Hagadol asked him, ‘What should a person do to escape from the birth pangs of Mashiach?’ He said to them, ‘He should occupy himself with Torah and acts of benevolence.’” The Chafetz Chaim points out374 that when-ever Divine Judgment is particularly strong, as it will be in the peri-od preceding Mashiach, other mitzvos cannot fully protect a person, only the combination of Torah with kindness is powerful enough to provide security.

370 16:6; see also Rosh Hashanah 18a.371 Ibid.372 In his commentary on Mishlei there.373 Sanhedrin 98b.374 Shem Olam, in concluding remarks.

Vilna Gaon: the best way to achieve

atonement is through a combination of

Torah learning and chesed

Why is this combination so powerful? A person who fasts forty days and gives millions to charity still cannot attain what a person can achieve through the combination of Torah and kindness. Why?

1. A person is capable of doing mitzvos or sins using one of three capacities: thought, speech or action. These three capacities en-compass everything a person does.

2. Later on in this chapter, we will learn that one of the best ways for one to gain atonement is by contemplating which sins he needs atonement for and then endeavoring to do mitzvos with the same limbs he used to transgress the mitzvos.

Bearing these two points in mind, we can understand why the combination of in-depth Torah learning and acts of selfless kindness is a powerful atonement. Torah learning uses the capacities of thought and speech, and acts of kindness use the capacity of action. Therefore, through a person’s involvement with these two mitzvos specifically, he atones for every transgression he ever committed, as nothing falls outside of the three capacities (thought, speech and action), which he is now harnessing for the fulfillment of mitzvos.375

6. repenting

If a person sinned, then he has a mitzvah from the Torah to repent.376 When one’s repentance is accepted by god, he is granted atonement, precluding any need for yissurim. Yom Kippur, for ex-

ample, is a day where we fast and ask for forgiveness, and, in turn, great atonement follows. However, there is no need to wait for Yom Kippur to

375 Although there are other mitzvos contingent on thought and speech (e.g. blessings) and action (e.g. shaking a lulav), nonetheless, Torah and kindness are singled out. The reason for this being that Torah is the greatest and most powerful of the mitzvos contingent on thought and speech, and similarly kindness is the greatest of all mitzvos contingent on action, as mentioned above (point 2), thus such a combination creates the greatest atone-ment possible.

376 Rambam Hichos Teshuvah 1:1.

Repentance removes the sin – so no more atonement is needed


repent. This mitzvah can be performed at any time.377 Indeed, the sooner one repents the better.378 Let us learn more about this pre-cious gem of a mitzvah.

There is great Divine Kindness involved in repentance. The fact that one can make reparation at all for a previous misdeed is a great novelty.379 If one murders, can he possibly undo his act? Yet, Hash-em, in His loving kindness, provided a way for us to repair past mis-deeds and that is by doing sincere repentance. In the sefer Shaarei Kedushah it states,380 “If he repents from love or even out of fear of the punishment, the sin is uprooted as if it never was.”

Hashem’s kindness does not stop there. Even if a person delays repenting to the point that he now has yissurim, Hashem still re-ceives his penitence. Rabbeinu Yona writes:381

When difficulties befall a man, he should think to him-self, “It is my own evil ways that have done this to me…” and he should return to Hashem, for He will have mercy upon him… consider the way of people, if one person wrongs another, and afterward this person finds him-self in trouble in a way where he is now in need of the assistance of the fellow he wronged, he finds himself filled with remorse and he humbles himself before [the man he previously wronged] since he now requires his help. This remorse is pitiful indeed in the eyes of the man he mistreated … however, one of the kindnesses of Hashem is that He accepts repentance, even out of suffering, and it finds favor before Him.382

377 See Rambam Hilchos Teshuvah 2:6.378 See Rosh HaShanah 16a that every day, a person is judged.379 As was previously noted in ch. 6:1.380 2:8.381 Shaarei Teshuvah 2:2.382 Repentance out of suffering is good, but is considered blemished when compared to re-

pentance even when things are going well. In the Sefer Shaarei Kedushah (2:8) it states,

How far does this go? can a person repent even from the most horrendous of actions and deeds? The Rambam writes,383 “In our times, the Beis HaMikdash does not stand, and we have no Altar of atonement. There is nothing but repentance, and repentance atones for all sins.” It is written in sefer Shaarei Kedushah,384 “You will find no sin, even heresy, that can withstand repentance, even if he only repented at the moment of his death.”

Every person can repent. Even the repentance of a completely wicked person who has filled all his days with evil and transgression will be accepted before Hashem, and his reward will be great, as the Rambam writes:385

Even one who has been evil all his days and repents at the end, none of his wickedness is recalled… Let not the penitent man imagine that he is far from the qualities of the righteous because of the transgressions and sins he has committed. This is not true. Rather, he is beloved and pleasing before the creator, as if he had never sinned. What is more, his reward is great, for in spite of the fact that he has tasted the pleasure of sin, nonetheless he de-sists and subdues his passion. The Sages say, “Where the penitents stand, [even] the absolute tzaddikim cannot stand.” That is, the level of the penitent is greater than those who have never sinned, because the penitent must subdue his desires more than they… Repentance draws the distant near. Yesterday, this [sinful man] was hated by Hashem — disgusting, distanced and loathsome — but today he is beloved and pleasing, near and endeared… Yesterday, he was separated from Hashem, the god of the Jewish People, as it is written, “Your sins separated

“If he repented after suffering befell him, the sin is not healed entirely, and he is called a blemished one.”

383 Hil. Teshuvah 1:3.384 2:8.385 Hil. Teshuvah 1:3 and 7:4,6,7.


between you and your god.” He would cry out and not be answered… he would perform mitzvos, and they would be ripped up in front of him, as it is written, “Who asked this of you, to trample in my courtyard.” But today, he is joined to the Divine Presence, as it is written, “You are joined to Hashem your god.” He cries out and is imme-diately answered, as it is written, “It shall be, before they call out, and I shall answer.” He does mitzvos and they are accepted with pleasure and joy, as it is written, “for god has already accepted your deeds.” What is more, Hashem has a passion for them, as it is written, “The meal offering of Yehudah will be sweet to Hashem, as in days of old and as in yesteryear.”

How does one repent? first of all, one needs to be sincere. As the chasam Sofer writes,386 “fundamentally, repentance goes after the heart’s intentions.” Assuming one is sincere, repentance is a three step process:387 A) To regret having made the mistake.388 B) To resolve never to do it again. c) To verbally ask Hashem for forgiveness.389

Repenting applies also to poor habitsThe mitzvah of repentance is not

reserved only for one who neglected to perform a positive commandment or transgressed a negative precept of the Torah, rather it also has application to

386 Responsa, Yoreh Deah §188.387 See Rambam at beginning of Hil. Teshuvah.388 This is the most fundamental aspect of penitence as the Rambam (ibid) points out. 389 This applies in regards to sins that do not involve another person. for example, if one for-

got to say a blessing. However, if one has sinned in a way where another person is involved, for example if he hurt someone’s feelings, then he must first obtain forgiveness from that person before Divine forgiveness can be obtained (Rambam, Hilchos Teshuvah 2:9). Where this is difficult, a qualified Orthodox rabbi should be consulted.

Repentance is required for poor

habits and attitudes, as well as misdeeds

bad habits and blemished character. Indeed, it can be argued that repenting from bad habits is even more important than repent-ing from transgression. This novel concept is explained by the Rambam:390

Just as a person must repent of transgressions, so too must he inspect if he has uncouth character traits. for ex-ample, he should contemplate his ways and see if he has accustomed himself to anger or hatred, if he has jealousy or exercises mockery of others, if he runs after money or glory, if he has habits of overeating or eating without manners, or other bad traits … These types of sins (i.e. the types which are character faults) are more damaging than a sinful act, for when a person is sunk into these ways, it is difficult to part from them. It is thus written, “Let the wicked leave his way.”

The great teachers of Mussar teach that character improvement is critical since every transgression can be traced to a faulty character trait. Therefore, once one trait is fixed, one cause for sin has been re-moved. The person who has perfected his character lies far away from any sin. To contrast, if a person fails to appreciate this and is con-tent with unrefined character, then he hardly stands a chance of not stumbling in the future, as the primary cause of his sin remains firmly rooted in place.

Ascertaining the quality of our repentanceIt is difficult to measure the effectiveness of our repentance as

there are myriad levels. Rabbeinu Yona writes:391

The quality and effectiveness of repenting is according to the extent of the remorse and the intensity of the grief

390 Hil. Teshuvah 7:3.391 Shaarei Teshuvah 1:13.


… the blemish of the sin becomes lightened commen-surate with the effort and lament involved, as his sad-ness derives from the purity of the uppermost soul. He becomes appeasing in the eyes of Hashem by means of sincere repenting, more so than by means of suffering and pain.

In short, to the degree of his sincere remorse, will be his atonement. It is important to note that although it is true that one should be

sad over his transgressions, this sadness must be reserved only for the time he is actively repenting; for example, when he repents in prayer, or at some other time. The rest of the time one should be happy, trust-ing in Hashem’s forgiveness. It is appropriate to be particularly joyous when presented with the opportunity to do a mitzvah.392

Other benefits of repentanceLet us appreciate the gift of repentance a little bit better, as there

are other “side benefits” involved, apart from the atonement gained:

The prosecutor becomes the defenderThe vilna gaon writes,393 “When a person repents from what he has

done, [the sin] is transformed from evil to goodness. The prosecuting angels created as a result of his sins become his friends and advocates.”

hashem grants him successRashi says,394 “When a person comes before Hashem and appeases

Him with words and returns to Him (repentance), he becomes like a beautiful jewel, a pearl in the eyes of Hashem. He will grant him suc-cess in all he requests from Him.”

392 See more in Sefer HaTanya, end of chapter 26.393 Mishlei 3:2.394 Ibid. 17:8.

Repentance offers a myriad of blessings

his past mitzvos are revivedOur Sages say,395 “A sin extinguishes a mitzvah.” The Shaarei

Teshuvah396 explains that although it cannot be denied that a trans-gression douses a mitzvah, nonetheless, at the moment a person re-pents, the sin is atoned and the merit of the mitzvah shines forth once more, as its light could not glisten prior to repentance.

LongevityRebbi Shmuel bar Nachmeini said in the name of Rebbi Yochanan,397

“great is repentance, for it lengthens the years of a man, as it is written,398 ‘When the wicked repents from his wickedness, he shall live.’”

Repenting does not cost money and hardly takes time, yet it can save a person from great pains and travail. It is befitting to take ad-vantage of this wonderful and precious mitzvah and incorporate re-pentance into our daily routine.399

A text for repentanceAlthough one can repent in any language or text he wishes, there

is a wonderful text penned by the great Kabbalistic master, Rabbi chaim vital,400 which covers all of the basic tenets of repentance and includes all types of transgressions:

Master of the Universe, I have sinned unintentionally, in-tentionally and have rebelled. I have done what is evil in Your eyes. I have stood with a corrupt mind and have trod the path of the wayward. Now I regret all of this. I wish I had never done these sins. These sins that I have commit-ted, I shall never do again. May it be pleasing before You,

395 Sotah 21a.396 1:41.397 Yoma 86b.398 Yechezkel 18:27.399 for example, to say the Vidui in the morning prayers, in the blessing of Shomea Tefillah, as

is printed in the prayer books.400 See Shaarei Kedusha 2:8.


Adonay my god, and the god of my fathers, that You grant me atonement for all my transgressions performed out of rebellion, and forgive me for all of my sins performed in-tentionally, and pardon me all of my sins performed un-intentionally that I have perpetrated before You, from the moment of creation until this very day, whether performed in this incarnation or in other incarnations, whether they were prohibitions of the Written Torah or of the Oral To-rah, or of the Enactments of the Sages, their fences or cus-toms, for You desire repentance. May the utterance of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing before You Adonay, my Rock and my Redeemer.

רבונו של עולם, חטאתי עויתי פשעתי, והרע בעיניך עשיתי,

ובדעת רעה הייתי עומד, ובדרך רחוקה הייתי מהלך, והריני

לא שעשיתי, ומה עשיתים, שלא והלואי מהם מתחרט

אעשה עוד. יהי רצון מלפניך ה׳ אלַהי ואלֵהי אבותי, שתכפר

לי על כל פשַעי, ותמחול לי על כל עוונוַתי, ותסלח לי על כל

שנברא מיום לפניך ושפשעתי ושעויתי חטאוַתי, שחטאתי

העולם עד היום הזה, בין בגלגול זה בין בגלגולים אחרים,

ותקנותיהם סופרים דברי באיסורי בין תורה באיסורי בין

יהיו וסייגיהם ומנהגותיהם, כי אתה הוא הרוצה בתשובה.

לרצון אמרי פי והגיון לבי לפניך ה׳, צורי וגואלי, עכ”ל.

7. Prayer

The following Midrash can serve as a fountain of encouragement. We find in Midrash Tanchumah:401

Hashem said to the Jewish People: Treat prayer carefully, for no other measure is greater than it, and it is superior over all of the sacrifices…

401 Vayeira §1.

Prayer is much more powerful than most

people realize

Even if a person is not worthy of being answered in his prayer, nor that kindness be done with him, if he prays and entreats very much, I shall do kindness with him. This is what is written,402 “All of Hashem’s ways are kindness and truth.” I have set “kindness” before “truth.”

Our prayers are so powerful that they can be more effective than the sacrifices, and this strength can be tapped into by any-one. Even a person devoid of merit can take advantage of prayer. We find in the Gemara Yerushalmi403 that every time a person prays there is always some positive outcome from it. There is no such thing as a wasted prayer.

What are some of the benefits of prayer?

Prayer can nullify an evil decreeOur Rabbis teach,404 “Three things

can void a harsh decree. These are: re-pentance, prayer and charity.” What kind of prayer can nullify a decree? This is explained by Rebbi Elazar,405 “Though the gates of prayer have been locked, the gates of tears have not been locked.” The Midrash says,406 “come and see; the righteous Leah shed many tears… This is what we learn: Whoever sheds tears before Hashem (in prayer), even if a penalty has already been decreed, the judgment will be torn up and the punishment will not have any power over him.” It is evident that tearful prayers have the power to quash a harsh decree.

Prayer brings salvation from within the sufferingNot only can prayer prevent yissurim from coming, as previously

mentioned, it can also deliver a person from the most hopeless of situ-

402 Tehillim 25:10.403 Brachos ch. 1 Halacha 1.404 Tanchuma, Noach §8.405 Brachos 32b.406 Zohar HaKadosh, vayechi 223.

Prayer nullifies evil decrees against us


ations. We find in Tehillim,407 “Their souls did reject all food; they came to the very gates of death. Out of their straits they will cry out to Hashem; from their distress He shall redeem them. He will send His word and it shall heal them, and spare their destruction.” Thus we see, even when facing “the gates of death” a man may still entreat Hashem for his soul and successfully be saved. Rebbi Yochanan and Rebbi Ela-zar both teach,408 “Even if a sharp sword is pressed against a man’s neck, let him not hold himself back from [praying for] mercy, as it is written,409 ‘Even if he shall kill me, to Him shall I pray.’”410 Similarly, the prophet says,411 “Hashem’s hand is not too short to bring salvation.” That is, since Hashem is omnipotent, there can be no doubt that He has the ability to redeem anyone from any circumstance. Therefore, although it might seem to a person that his situation is beyond hope, in reality, from the “viewpoint” of god, his salvation is near and easy.

As seen, prayer can save from the direst of predicaments. Even where there is no help in sight, “there are a multitude of messengers at Hashem’s disposal.” This phenomenon can be understood in light of our previous teaching that Hashem relates to one’s prayers with the attribute of mercy. We bear witness to this mercy when Hashem answers us at our time of need.

Increasing potency of prayerAs noted above, every prayer has some effect. There are things

a person can do which can render his prayers more effective. The gemara teaches,412 “Rebbi chama the son of Rebbi chanina said: If a man has prayed, but sees he has not been answered, he should go back and pray again, as it is written,413 ‘Pray to Hashem; be strong and

407 107:18-20.408 Brachos 10a.409 Iyov 13:15.410 See the gemara in Brachos (63a) that a person merits to have his financial income doubled

in the merit of praying for mercy in a time of trouble.411 Yeshayah 59:1.412 Brachos 32b.413 Tehillim 27:14.

fortify your heart, and pray to Hashem.’” Repeating one’s prayers will greatly increase the chances of gaining a favorable response. Our Sages explain414 on the verse:415 “And it was, after she increasingly prayed to Hashem,” What we learn from here, anyone who increas-ingly prays is answered.

Success is found through prayerIn the Book of Shmuel,416 we read the account of Dovid’s so-

journ in the land of the Pilishtim. Dovid HaMelech had fled from the land of Israel, hoping that King Shaul would at last despair of killing him. Achish, king of gas, gave Dovid and his six hundred men the city of Ziklag as a place of asylum. Lest he be suspected of disloyalty, Dovid and his men accompanied Achish and the leaders of the Pilishtim to wage war with King Shaul and the Jewish People. As expected, the Pilishti kings adamantly refused to allow Dovid to fight with them. They suspected he would betray Achish and deliv-er their heads to King Shaul. Dovid and his men returned to Ziklag, only to find it ransacked and burned to the ground by the Amale-kite army. Their families had been taken alive, along with the plun-der. Dovid’s men were bitterly angry; some of them even thought to stone Dovid to death. The situation was critical, and Dovid had to act swiftly and effectively. His life was at stake. What did he do? The verse recounts:417 “Dovid strengthened himself in Hashem, his god.” The Radak explains,418 “He set his hope in Him.” Dovid could have tried to appease his soldiers. He could have hidden until their anger subsided. Instead, Dovid’s first act was to turn to Hashem for help. Recognizing the endless wellsprings of strength embed-ded in prayer, Dovid seized this tool and exploited it to the utmost. He emerged with great success from what appeared to be a most bleak and hopeless situation.

414 Midrash Shmuel 2.415 Shmuel I 1:12.416 Shmuel I, 30:3-6.417 Ibid.418 Ibid.


Apart from reinforcing the lesson that prayer can help in all cir-cumstances, this story teaches that one should use prayer as his main means to accomplish his end. The Ramchal writes,419 “When a person first draws close and stands before Hashem and requests from Him all that he needs, and casts his burden on Him, this is the principal and most encompassing start to all of his efforts.”

The chazon Ish writes,420

With every unfortunate encounter, I am accustomed to take up my trust in Hashem. Nothing in this world hap-pens by chance, [everything] is directed by the Blessed One’s Providence. I work hard in prayer to have the decree removed. Therefore, I approach investing physical efforts with tepidity. Most of the time, it is unclear which action should be taken.

He also writes,421

We need to remember that we on our own accord cannot accomplish anything. Through our actions we arouse the gates of mercy that our actions will lay the groundwork for what we hope to accomplish. However, the one who prays … he is more effective than the one who takes action.

The Steipler gaon writes:422

The rule is: everything that mortals plan and do has not the slightest power to add or detract to what has already been

419 Derech Hashem 4:5:2.420 Kovetz Iggros, vol. 2 §132.421 cited in Dinim v’Hanhagos of the chazon Ish, p. 124.422 Birkas Peretz, Parshas Shemos.

chazon Ish: It is often difficult to

know which practical actions will be

effective, but prayer is always effective

decreed upon a person on Rosh Hashanah. Prayer, merit and repentance are the only ways that the decree can be changed. If it seems that man, with his strategies and ef-fort, is successful in getting what he wants, the truth is that it was coming to him anyway by Divine Decree. Even had he not done what he did, the story would have had a happy ending in precisely the same manner, or similar to it.

The Ramchal423 relates why Hashem arranged His world in such a way that the primary effort should be mainly in terms of prayer: “for people to receive Hashem’s goodness, they must arouse themselves to Him, and to come near to Him and make a request of Him. According to the arousal toward Him, they receive abundance. If they do not arouse themselves, they will not receive.” He writes further:

The more a person gets caught up in worldly matters, so does he distance himself from the supernal radiance and [his world] becomes dimmer. Hashem prepared a correction for this, by requiring a person to first draw near and stand before Him, and request his needs (i.e. prayer)… so that when he goes on afterward to take other forms of action (that is, human endeavor), he will not get caught up in physicality and materialism, since he first recognized through prayer that everything is dependent on god.

In summary, the two reasons Hashem made prayer the primary source of success are:

A) It is impossible to bring down Divine Abundance without prayer;

B) Through prayer, a person is spared from sinking into mate-rialism; even while involving himself in material efforts.

423 Derech Hashem 4:5:1.


Physical efforts (hishtadlus)Although it is clear that one’s primary mode of effort should be

prayer, this does not mean to say that we should be devoid of material strategies. Nor does this mean to say that we should spend most of our time praying. Rather, one should do whatever seems nec-essary, whether a lot or a little (depending

on the case) together with prayer. By preceding his efforts with prayer, he shows that praying is the main effort. He casts his burden on god. He recognizes that the chief source of his success emanates from Hashem’s blessings, and not from his material efforts.

Take, for example, a person who is sick. What should he do to get bet-ter? He should beseech Hashem in prayer for a complete recovery and then proceed to make an appointment with a doctor. Even though he might need to invest several hours in material efforts while his prayer only took a matter of minutes (if not seconds), there is no contradiction. Through his prayer, he understands that success comes from the Almighty, and not his efforts. His prayer opens the gates of redemption, and enforces his belief that his success is absolutely contingent on Hashem. His efforts can be likened to a tool that a craftsman holds. Hashem is the craftsman, and when he gets well, we say that Hashem used the tools of his material efforts to grant him a recovery. This is what was meant when our Rabbis taught that prayer is the prime means of effort.

8. Reciting the verses pertaining to the sacrifices

Reciting the order of the sacrifices is a fast and effective way to atone for misdeeds. Avraham Avinu asked Hashem for a sign that his descendants would inherit the Land of Israel.424 “How will I be sure to inherit it?” he asked. Our Sages explain:425

424 Bereishis 15:8.425 Megillah 31b.

We must do reasonable hishtadlus

Reciting the texts of the sacrifices atones

as the sacrifices themselves did

Avraham asked Hashem, “Master of the Universe, what will be if the Jewish People sin before You, and You de-cide to do to them as You did to the generation of the flood and of the Dispersion?” Hashem replied, “I will not do such a thing.” Avraham said, “Master of the Universe, how shall I know [what knowledge can I impart to them, which will atone for their sins — Rashi]?” Hashem said to him, “Take for Me a choice calf… [the sacrifices will atone for them — Rashi]” Avraham said, “Master of the Universe, that will work when the Holy Temple is stand-ing, but when the Holy Temple is not standing, what will be?” Hashem said, “I have already decreed the order of the sacrifices. As long as they recite them, I will consider it as though they have brought offerings to me, and I will forgive them all of their sins.”

Rebbi Yitzchak teaches,426 “What is the meaning of the phrasing, ‘This is the teaching of the sin offering,’ ‘this is the teaching of the guilt offering?’ Anyone who recites the teaching of the sin offering it is as if he sacrificed a sin offering, and anyone who recites the teaching of the guilt offering, it is as if he sacrificed a guilt offering.”

Rabbeinu Yona writes,427 “One should constantly recite the por-tion of the sin offering, and Hashem will consider it as if one has brought a sin offering. That is, that a great benefit will be derived from this as it will atone for him, like an atonement of a sin offering itself.” Not only does reciting the verses of the sacrifices bring atone-ment, it also carries with it other benefits as well. The Kaf HaChaim428 writes in the name of the Yafeh LaLeiv of the Divine Protection af-forded through reciting the sacrifices, “It is good to recite the por-tions of the sacrifices each day; it is very powerful, and a person can be sure that no harm will befall him, for he will be guarded against

426 Menachos 110a.427 Shaarei Teshuvah 4:14.428 §1 s.k. 36.


any evil.” The Kabbalists highly recommend reciting the sacrifices before the morning services.

In order for one to enjoy these benefits, three conditions must be met:

1. He must repent of his misdeeds preceding his recital.429

2. He must be careful to recite the sacrifices only by day, and not by night. This is because real sacrifices can only be offered by day. If so, the recital which is coming as a substitute must also be by day.430 for the same reason one should not recite the sac-rifices on Shabbos or Yom Tov (excepting the Tommid offering which was offered up even on Shabbos and Yom Tov).

3. He needs to understand what he is reciting and not just merely chant the words, as we find mentioned explicitly in the Mishnah Berurah.431

One can find a listing of the sacrifices and the appropriate verses to say in many of our common siddurim, just after the morning blessings.

9. seeking Peace

The Torah writes,432 “If you make Me an altar of stone, do not build it with hewn blocks, for you waved your sword upon it, and profaned it.” This verse prohibits using rocks hewn from metal instruments for the purpose of constructing the sacrificial altar. Metal represents war and destruction because the instruments of war are chiefly made from metal components. What lesson is the Torah teaching us? Rashi explains:

The altar brings peace between the Jewish People and their Heavenly father;433 therefore, no cutter or destroyer

429 See Shaarei Teshuva ibid.430 Although one can always recite these verses day or night, and with this he is rewarded for

Torah study, still, to have the recital act as atonement, it must only be done during the day. See Bach on Orach Chaim 1.

431 See Mishnah Berurah §48 s.k. See also the Biur Halacha §1:5 . 432 Shemos 20:22.433 This can be understood in lieu of the fact that by means of the sacrifices one has his sins

atoned for, this serves to remove the barriers separating a person from god, thus drawing

(i.e. metal instruments) may come upon it (the altar). from here we may derive a great lesson: If stones which can neither see, nor hear nor speak, but since they bring peace, the Torah writes concerning them not to use metal instruments to hew them: a person who brings peace be-tween a man and his wife, between two families, between two men, certainly no retribution (being analogous to metal) shall come upon him.

If mere stones of the altar “merit” not to be subject to being struck by metal (which signifies destruction and calamity) because they bring peace, all the more so a living person who has free will, and chooses on his own volition to bring peace between two parties, most certainly he merits not to have metal cast upon him — meaning that he will be spared destruction and calamity.

This great mitzvah of bringing peace is often misunderstood. Some people think that if they cannot bring two feuding parties to a peaceful and complete settlement, there is no use bothering in the first place. This is not the case. consider this analogy:

Once there was a man with a terrible disease. He suffered for several years without having a way to treat it. One day, a good

friend of his told him some good news. “I have discovered a cure for you, free of expense and pain. The only draw-back is that it is not guaranteed to

cure you completely. It might, but it might not, but even if it does not, it may still cure you partially. Would you like to give it a try?” The man did not have to think twice, understanding that there is nothing to lose. He happily seized his opportunity.

The same applies to peacemaking. When two people are not getting along, it can be likened to a sickness, and the peacemaker carries the remedy. Through peacemaking efforts, he may stand to

him closer to Hashem, or in other words, ‘making peace’ with Hashem.

Make peace. even a slight improvement

is meaningful


“cure” the dispute by bringing it to an absolute resolution, but even if he does not, it is still likely that it can be resolved at least partially — and that already is a great deal better than nothing at all. Even if one succeeds only to take the edge of hatred away from one of the warring parties, he already succeeded. He will be counted among those who strive for peace, meriting the above said reward. It fol-lows that even if one sees that through his efforts he stands only to achieve a partial reconciliation at best, this should in no way hinder his efforts. Peacemaking is not “all or nothing.” Even a little bit of peace, means everything.

Another point worthy of mention: If there is a mitzvah for one to bring peace between two outside parties, how much more so there is a mitzvah to bring peace between oneself and another per-son. See footnote.434

434 The Tomer Devorah recommends that if a person has offended you, it is quite possible to overlook the slight. How? If this person has done favors for you in the past, then picture in your mind that these favors far outweigh the insult done. They shine so strongly, that the insult dissipates to nothing. (See the next point mentioned in this chapter, how great the reward is for overlooking an offense.)

In a case where you offended someone else, and attempts of reconciliation have failed, then the following advice might work wonders. It states in Mishlei (ch. 27:19), “As water reflects ones’ face, so too ones heart to another.” Rashi (in Yevamos 117a) explains that just as when one gazes into water, he sees his facial expression reflected back whether happy or sad, so too, the heart of one to another. If one loves the other, the other is compelled to reflect back that same love. The inverse also holds true. Based on this, if you can be success-ful to impress upon the offended party that you are still fond of him, then he finds himself reconsidering his problems with you. for example, when seeing this person be careful to greet him with a smiling countenance. Say hello and mean it. This is something which does not work in a day, rather over the course of time. As this advice is sourced in the Torah, this means it is a law of nature; just as gravity works, so too, this advice.

In cases where it appears that peace cannot be realized, it may be wise to consider tak-ing counsel with a third party. A Rav or a professional counselor can often provide ideas and strategies which one never considered. countless marriages and countless family re-lationships have been nurtured back to a healthy and strong harmony as a result of good counseling. “But it can cost a lot of money,” one might say. Just as one spends money for medical expenses, whether he has it or not, the same applies here. If he neglects to go to a doctor because of money, he becomes especially prone to paying a much greater price in the future. Sometimes he may be too late. So too, if one neglects counsel before things have gotten out of hand, he may discover one day that he might have waited too long. Now he is forced to spend untold amounts of money in other things, and some of them on a long

10. ignoring insult

Rava said:435 “Anyone who overlooks the slights others do to him, in Heaven they also overlook all of his serious misdeeds.” Rashi ex-plains, “Anyone who relinquishes his objections — who is not quick to return measure to those who aggravate him, rather he lets go of his insult, the Heavenly Tribune likewise follows suit, and ignores even his grave misdeeds.” It’s mentioned in Shaarei Kedushah436 that if he stands to be forgiven for even the most severe of offenses, all the more so he will be forgiven for his minor infractions.

The chafetz chaim points out something critically important. He writes437 that being forgiven for one’s misdeeds only takes place if the person takes no issue at all, even when he knows that the one who acted against him did so with malice. The reason for this is quite simple: god runs the world with the principle of “measure for measure.” The way one treats others comes back to him. In our case, just as he ignores great insult, so too in Heaven his great insults are ignored.

The gemara says,438 “Since he does not avenge [the injustice] done to him, Heaven will not avenge from him [injustice he has commit-ted].” Therefore, according to the gravity of the offense, when one overlooks it he will in turn merit that his own offenses (of a similar degree of severity) will be overlooked — “measure for measure.”

from the writings of the Arizal and the Ramak, we find that dis-regarding insult is worth its weight against many thousands of self-afflictions (such as fasting). Aside from this, a person who does so stands to be greatly rewarded for his righteousness in the Next World,

term basis (divorce settlements, rehabilitation clinics, etc.) while the misery still remains. He could have been spared all of this had he only acted when the time was ripe. This policy is endorsed by the Torah, as it states (Mishlei ch. 11:14) “Salvation lies in much counsel.”

435 Rosh Hashanah 17a.436 6:1.437 Shmiras HaLashon, Shaar HaTevunah, ch. 8.438 Rosh Hashanah 17a.

Ignore others’ misdeeds against you and hashem will ignore yours against

him


as our Sages say,439 “It has been taught: Those who hear insult but do not take insult, who listen to others’ insults and do not respond, who act out of love and rejoice in suffering [Rashi: on account of the in-sult that has been spoken against them], concerning these people the verse says,440 ‘His loved ones shall be as the sun at its zenith.’”

11. attending lectures on ethics

Although it can sometimes be an enormous pleasure to attend a lecture in Jewish ethics, there are, however, other advantages to be gained — apart from the important and useful in-formation transmitted. The Midrash says,441 “When the wise man commences speaking, and people an-swer after him, ‘Yehei Shemo HaGadol Mevorach,’442 even if a writ of decrees for one hundred years [has been written against the lis-tener]; Hashem forgives all of his sins.”

The reason why a person’s attendance is so important is ex-plained in Mesilas Yesharim,443 “for, by hearing the words of criti-cism and rebuke (spoken out of love), he will be motivated to re-pent.” If the goal is repentance, why does one need to attend a lecture? Why does it not suffice to simply read a mussar (ethics) book? Surely one gains motivation to repent also from this. This question is answered by the Taharas Kodesh:444

Anyone who sets his heart and ears to hear well, and takes to heart the words (of the Rabbi) and considers repenting, upon him it is written,445 “Take heed and you will live.”

439 Shabbos 88b.440 Shoftim 5:31.441 Koheles Rabbah §9:15.442 This is in reference to the kaddish prayer recited following the lecture. 443 ch. 5.444 Maamar Teshuvos Segulios 15.445 Yeshayah 55:3.

Listening to mussar from a chochom can

be more effective than learning from a

sefer.

By absorbing the positive messages being sent, he can literally become transformed into a different, new and improved person. This takes place because the words of the Torah Sage become for him a new soul that emanates from a powerful source, and this in turn adds much radi-ance to his being and new energy, to help subdue the ele-ment of evil within him, and he can come to completely return to Hashem. He indeed will be healed.

There is a great difference between hearing a discourse “live,” or reading it from a book or another source. Although ethical teachings can always be beneficial regardless of the means being used, nonethe-less there remains an added dimension in hearing the words directly from a Talmid Chochom because his words can penetrate the recesses of one’s soul and serve to kindle a fresh new fire, which will blaze new and brighter pathways.446

12. Judging Favorably

Learning to judge others favorably, apart from being a great mitz-vah in its own right, carries with it the advantage of averting evil de-crees before their onset. Rebbi Yehudah bar Shiloh said in the name of Rebbi Yossi, who said in the name of Rebbi Yochanan,447 “for six things a man stands to gain the dividends in this world while his principal remains intact for the Next World. They are … one who judges others favorably448… It is taught: One who judges others favorably, is judged favorably [in Heaven].” This statement requires understanding. What does it mean that one will be judged favorably in Heaven? How can there be any comparison drawn between how a person judges others,

446 After understanding this, new light is shed on the custom of chassidic Jewry to attend weekly gatherings with their Rebbe, otherwise known as a Tish. from attending such gath-erings and listening to the words of the Rebbe, one can often find much new inspiration.

447 Shabbos 127a.448 The other mitzvos mentioned there are housing guests, visiting the sick, praying with great

mental investment, arriving to the study hall early to learn and raising ones children to be Torah scholars.


and how Heaven judges him? In Heaven, everything is clear without doubt. Over here things are shrouded in mystery. The answer to this question is found in the sefer Taharas HaKodesh. He writes in the name of the early tzaddikim:449

Heaven does not judge a person until he himself judges another first. for example, when a person thinks about someone that, “This man deserves such-and-such a

punishment for doing such-and-such an act,” at that moment he is judged in Heaven in that very same way for a similar act he him-self hitherto performed. Thus, he

who accustoms himself to judge others favorably, giving the benefit of the doubt and emphasizing the positive over the negative, will himself benefit greatly, for then, when there will be a similar complaint lodged against him before the Heavenly Tribune, they will say to the accuser, “Just as he judged favorably, you have no per-mission to hold him responsible, but only to find him meritorious… for there is no man for whom some favor-able argument cannot be made; perhaps he was forced or he was weak-minded at that moment, etc.”

If one habituates himself to judge his fellow man favorably, he causes himself to be judged favorably, thereby reducing the chances of any hard edict to become decreed upon him.

The concept of judging favorably seems hard to understand. The Torah is a Torah of truth. Why should one try always to see other people’s actions in a positive light, when you know that in-deed what was done was absolutely wrong? This mitzvah would appear to contradict the very fiber of the Torah! Rashi explains450 that in order to judge favorably, it is not necessary to think that

449 Maamar Teshuvos Segulios 18.450 Shabbos 127b.

Judge others favorably and

hashem will judge you favorably

what was done was absolutely fine and just. If this were so, the explanation of his action would sometimes border on the absurd. Judging favorably includes the notion that at least his intentions were good, even if his actions were not.

If judging favorably includes merely assuming that the other per-son had good intentions, then it is not difficult at all to do this, and really believe it. The Shelah explains this is because of the great holi-ness innate to every Jewish soul. His soul influences him to do things with good intentions.451

Bearing these points in mind, we see that the mitzvah of judging others favorably is in fact very truthful, as chances are the person had good intentions. Take yourself, for example. Think of some of the mis-takes you have made in the past. Although now you regret them, of course your intentions were at least good. Other people are just like you.

Note: There is much more to be said about this mitzvah and its laws. The reader is referred to the sefer Chafetz Chaim.452

13. answering kaddish with all one’s strength.

When a person attends a minyan, he is given the opportunity to answer “amen” to the Kaddish prayer on several occasions. Aside from the great mitzvah involved in answering “amen” to any blessing or prayer,453 there is great power when answering “Amen, Yehei Shmei Rabbah…” during Kaddish. Rebbi

Yehoshua ben Levi says,454 “Anyone who answers ‘Amen, Yehei Shmei Rabbah ...’ with all his might, will have his evil decree nullified … even if he has a sin as grave as idolatry, it is forgiven him.”

What does “with all his might” mean precisely? Rashi under-stands this to mean that it should be said with all of one’s intention.

451 This is based on the Talmudic concept of Chezkas Kashrus.452 BePsicha L’Asein, and in the Be’er Mayim Chaim there.453 Indeed, our Sages teach us (Berachos 53b) that there is greater merit involved in saying

“amen” to a blessing, than in saying the blessing itself.454 Shabbos 119b.

answering Kaddish with kavana is unbelievably

powerful


Tosafos455 explains it to mean that it should be said in a loud voice. One would be advised to endeavor to satisfy both opinions. It should be pointed out however, that when one says “Yehei Shmei…” in a loud voice (like the Tosafos suggests), he should be careful not to use an unusually loud voice, for apart from looking strange, he causes oth-ers to deride him for it, which is considered like placing a stumbling block before others.456

14. modesty

We find in Iyov,457 that Iyov used to offer up sacrifices to affect atonement for his entire family, just in case there was a need. How fortunate was his family, to have a father who took care of their material and spiritual needs. Today, we unfortunately do not have a Temple to offer up sacrifices. Is there another way that one can atone for one’s family? The Midrash answers affirmatively,458 “Rebbi Pinchas HaKohen bar chamah said: When a woman is modest in her house, just as the Altar atones, so does she atone for her household…” In the merit of being modest, a woman can affect atonement for her entire household. Take note that the Midrash refers to being modest inside the house. Need-less to say, a woman must be modest outside the home. This is the letter of the law. Inside the home, the Halacha becomes a lot more lenient in regards to modest dress. The women who goes beyond the letter of the law and excels in modesty also inside her home, merits the special blessing that she atones for herself to-gether with the entire household.459

Modesty is not a dress code. Mod-esty penetrates much deeper than that.

455 Ad loc.456 See Mishnah Berurah 56 §5.457 1:5.458 Midrash Tanchuma Vayishlach §6.459 Similar to this we find in tractate Yoma (47a) that Kimchis merited to have seven sons

who all served as Kohen Gadol in the merit of keeping high standards of modesty inside the home.

Modesty is not a dress code – it is an

attitude and it brings great blessings

Modesty is something which emanates from the highest origins of the Jewish soul, for men460 and women alike. It permeates the way we think, speak and act. Speaking loudly, for example, in public places is not considered modest conduct, while speaking quietly is modest. Dressing in a way which draws attention (because of the style, exposure, colors etc.) is not modest, while dressing humbly is modest. Driving a car which is attention grabbing is not modest, and the list continues.

This is a very subtle point. Special attention should be given to the fact that the Western world today is anything but modest. We need to double our efforts to resist the negative influence and promote the beautiful ways of modesty, as was practiced by our great forebears.

15. crying over the death of a good person (adam kasher)

The gemara teaches,461

Anyone who cries and mourns over an upright individual merits to have all of his sins forgiven, as through his conduct, he has accorded honor to the deceased … Hashem counts each tear and places them in his hidden chambers.

Sometimes, a person can perform such serious offenses as to war-rant to have a child perish as a result,462 Heaven forbid. The Maharsha463 and the Ben Ish Chai464 both point out that in the merit of crying over the demise of a good person, such a decree becomes annulled.

16. Performing a mitzvah with quality

Though some specific mitzvos are particularly effective in atoning for sin as we have noted above, still, every mitzvah has the power to

460 See tractate Megilla 13b about the modesty of King Shaul. 461 Shabbos 105b.462 See Tractate Shabbos 32b.463 Shabbos 105b in Chiddushei Aggados.464 Ben Yehoyada on Shabbos 105b. See more on this in Chiddushei Chasom Sofer there.

crying over the death of the upright


bring atonement if performed in an outstanding manner. The gemara states,465 “Anyone who performs a mitzvah to perfection, even an evil decree of seventy years is rescinded.” The Pele Yoetz writes,466 “How good is the portion of a person if he suffers pain or discomfort in or-der to perform a mitzvah. There is no doubt that this brings much atonement. for instance, if he must put much effort to fulfill the mitz-vah...” The Shevet Mussar writes467 that by performing mitzvos with all one’s strength and concentration, the suffering decreed upon him can become annulled.

What does it mean to perform a mitzvah with perfection? This question is something of critical importance to every Jew. A typical day is full of doing a variety of mitzvos, and in the merit of their performance, reward is earned in the World to come. If a person studies many years to become a professional in order to be able to earn himself a livelihood in this world, then all the more so, a person should dedicate time and energy to learn how to perform the mitzvos with excel-lence to provide himself sustenance in the Next World! The correct fulfill-ment of the Torah’s mitzvos is our very purpose in life — surely we must endeavor to fulfill these holy precepts to the best of our ability.

It goes without saying that in order to perform a mitzvah well, one first needs to study the laws governing that mitzvah to ensure all of its conditions have been satisfied. Sometimes, the absence of even one minute detail can render a mitzvah obsolete. However, even after one is familiar with the laws, there are a number of other basic rules to mitzvah performance in general. One who is careful to apply these rules will greatly elevate the quality of his mitzvos, impacting heavily on his own path to perfection and his portion in the World to come. The Chaye Adam dedicates a whole chapter468 to explaining the basic rules of mitzvah performance. Here are a few highlights:

465 Shabbos 63a according to the text of Rabbeinu Yona, as he sites in Avos 2:1. 466 Erech “yissurim.”467 14:18.468 Section A chapter 68.

Do mitzvos with excellence

a) When one is presented with an opportunity to do a mitz-vah, he should perform the mitzvah immediately and not put it aside. This applies even if he wants to do a different mitzvah instead.469

b) Mitzvos must be performed with honor and proper de-cor, and not with an attitude of frivolity or in a manner of disgrace. Similarly, one should not use a mitzvah to gain physical pleasure from it at the time of its performance. for example, to light a ci-gar from the Chanukah candles or read by their light.

c) One should beautify his mitzvos, meaning that he should endeavor to fulfill them with all of his strength, and not halfheartedly. He should also use choice materials to fulfill his mitzvah, even if it makes it more expensive. for example, to use fine quality wine for the mitzvah of Kiddush, Simchas Yom Tov or for the four cups on the Seder night.

d) One should perform a mitzvah personally, as opposed to having someone else perform it for him. for exam-ple, one should polish his own shoes on friday to honor the Shabbos and not have his wife or maid do it in his stead.470

469 In a scenario where by doing the mitzvah later he will be able to do it in a better way (bi-hidur), there are diverse opinions. The Shulchan Aruch (Orach Chaim 426) rules in favor to delay the fulfillment of the mitzvah whereas the Sefer Chassidim rules in favor to seize the op-portunity and perform the mitzvah now. The Chaye Adam concurs with the Sefer Chassidim.

470 Although without doubt, one who has a mitzvah done on his behalf by another, is credited with that mitzvah, nonetheless, by doing so he loses getting rewarded for the physical ex-ertion and happiness involved in executing the mitzvah. The person who actually performs the mitzvah gets rewarded for this. for this reason, there is a great mitzvah involved in be-ing a mohel. Even though he is only doing the mitzvah on behalf of the father, he partakes in the reward for the mitzvah as he is the one physically doing it and being happy over it. There is a dispute amongst the later authorities which one is greater, the one who has the mitzvah done on his behalf, or the one who actually did the mitzvah.

There are several easy ways to ‘upgrade’ our

performance of mitzvos


e) One who starts a mitzvah should be careful that he himself finishes the mitzvah, not leaving it over to someone else.

f) Before one does any mitzvah, he should bear in mind that he is doing it for the sake of a mitzvah (l’sheim mitzvah). This applies especially to mitzvos that one would have done in any case as a matter of common sense, for example hon-oring ones parents, being charitable, being careful not to murder or steal or not eating insects.471

g) It can be possible to do a mitzvah, and be reprimanded for it. How so? If a person performed a mitzvah in a way which was only made possible from doing a sin. for example, to wear stolen tzitzis or shake a stolen lulav. In such a case, one creates an accusing angel through his ‘mitzvah.’

h) If it is possible to fulfill the mitzvah together with other people (three or more), there is an added dimension of perfection to the mitzvah, as it states in Mishlei,472 “With a multitude of people, is the glory of the King.” The Sages say there is no comparison between an individual perform-ing a mitzvah as opposed to a group performing a mitzvah. for example, attending a Torah class is greater than learn-ing alone. Praying with a congregation is far more powerful than praying alone.473

i) One should be careful to perform each mitzvah with great joy and happiness. He should endeavor to be happier when doing a mitzvah, than if he had found a hoard of money and all pleasures of this world.474

471 See Shulchan Aruch, 60, subsection 4, with the Mishnah Berurah and Biur Halacha for a detailed discussion.

472 ch. 14:28.473 An exception to this rule is the mitzvah of charity. Here, to the degree of secrecy involved,

will be his reward. In fact, if he gives charity in public in a way that causes the poor man embarrassment, he stands to be punished for it, as we find in the gemara.

474 See the commentary of the Bartenurah on what it says in Avos (4:2), that “the reward of

j) One should endeavor to fulfill mitzvos with physical exer-tion. for example, to walk fast or run to get to shul or hear a class. The Sages teach475 that in measure to the energy in-vested in execution of a mitzvah, so too will be his reward.

k) One should look forward and anticipate performing his next mitzvah.

l) One should be careful to pay for his mitzvos, as op-posed to getting them for free. The Zohar476 places enormous stress on this point. (for example, not to perform the mitzvah of lulav with a borrowed one, to pay, when possible, for an aliyah to the Torah or other mitzvos “sold” at shul.)

m) One should perform mitzvos out of love for Hashem and not for other motivations or benefits. It goes without say-ing that one should not do them just to relieve himself from obligations. Rather, they should be cherished and performed out of love, in a way that even had he not been obliged to do so, he very much desires to do them and longs for them, since he knows they bring Hashem great pleasure (nachas ruach), and he wants to bestow pleasure to the One he loves.

n) One should perform the mitzvos out of fear for Hashem. for example, when presented a chance to eat non-kosher meat, one should not reject it saying, “I do not like this food,” rather he should say, “I like it, but Hashem has com-manded me not to eat it.”

o) One needs to be careful not to “find” an exemption from doing a mitzvah on the grounds that it is too costly. Rath-er, it is incumbent on a person to spend up to a tenth of his

a mitzvah is a mitzvah.” That is to say that the happiness one has when doing a mitzvah is in and of itself a mitzvah. It is well known that the Arizal testified about himself, that he reached his awesome spiritual heights in the merit that he was careful to perform his mitzvos with great happiness and joy.

475 Vayikra Rabbah §21:11. 476 Parshas Terumah.


possessions (some say more) to fulfill a mitzvah. However, when pertaining to avoiding transgressing a negative com-mandment, one is obligated to give up all he owns before violating the commandment (for example, if he is threat-ened to lose his job if he does not violate Shabbos, he must observe Shabbos.)477

p) If one sees that there is a mitzvah that people are lax from observing, one should strive to fulfill it, as such a mitzvah is compared to a deceased person lacking burial; the mitzvah laments before the Heavenly tribune, “How lowly I must be, as I am utterly ignored.”

q) When one is presented an opportunity to perform any mitzvah, he should be careful not to perform the mitzvah in a hasty fashion, rather he should contemplate the mitz-vah, making sure to be suitably prepared. Only then should he go on to fulfill it, with a calm and settled spirit. Experi-ence has proven that when mitzvos are performed out of haste, they are prone to error. (A classic example of this is Pesach evening when eating the matzos. They should be eaten in a relaxed fashion with great peace of mind. con-cerning the time allotment for eating them, a competent Orthodox Rabbi should be consulted.)

17. In the manner of transgression, is the rectification

The Midrash says, “With every limb that one used to sin, he should do a mitz-vah, and this will guard him against that sin.” In other words, one can rectify his wrong by ‘doing good’ with the vessels originally used for evil. The Ruach Chaim478 writes that we learn this principle from King Dovid, who said,479 “My eyes will shed streams of tears for not keeping Your

477 One faced with difficulties such as these is advised to take advice from a qualified Rabbi.478 Avos 5:22.479 Tehillim 119:136.

Limbs used for misdeeds should now

be used for mitzvos

Torah.” And our Sages comment on this480 that anyone who went out to fight King Dovid’s wars would write a divorce certificate to his wife. If so, when Dovid visited Bas Sheva, she was not considered a married woman, rather, a divorced one. Being as that was the case, it emerges that King Dovid’s only infraction committed with her was with his eyes, as is written,481 “He saw a woman bathing on the roof.” Dovid corrected the sin of his eyes by crying with his eyes out of repentance, and that is what is written, “Streams of tears shall my eyes shed.”

We see that in the manner a person sinned, he may gain atone-ment. In the sefer Orchos Tzaddikim482 we find several examples of how to apply this teaching. He writes:

How does one improve his deeds in the manner by which he sinned? If he gazed immorally, he should train himself to lower his gaze. If he spoke slander against someone, he should speak words of Torah … Legs quick to run and sin, will now be quick to run to do a mitzvah. The mouth that spoke falsely — it should speak truth and wisdom. Hands that shed innocent blood — open his hand to the poor. Prideful, upraised eyes — be humble and lower one’s gaze. A heart that broods sinful thoughts — he should consider sayings of Torah.

18. There is no power except for hashem

In Nefesh HaChaim483 we find a powerful antidote to nullify yissurim. There are sever-al cases of those who have used his method successfully and were saved from precari-ous dangers.484 This is what he writes:

480 Shabbos 56a.481 Shmuel II 11:2.482 Shaar HaTeshuvah.483 3:12.484 It is well-known that the Rav of Brisk used this method on his way out of Nazi Poland.

In spite of being surrounded with Nazis hunting down Jews (especially Rabbis), and in

Say – and believe – Ain Od Milvado

(there is nothing but hashem)


In truth, there is an incredibly powerful tool to remove and annul from a person every judgment from above, and also the desires of others from upon himself, that they cannot have any power over him, and cannot do anything to him at all. This is when a person sets it in his heart to say, “Hashem is the true power, and there is no other pow-er besides Him, not in this world, nor in any of the worlds at all. All existence is filled only with the perfect oneness of His Blessed Name (ein od milvado).” By meditating on this, one nullifies [any other perceived force] in his heart totally, and does not pay any concern to any other force or desire in the world, and commits himself, and attaches his pure thought only to the One Lord, Blessed is He. In the merit of this, Hashem will grant him that the forces and influences in the world will disappear from upon him, they will not be able to act upon him in any manner.485

19. The weight of a commitment

We have seen that there are a variety of different mitzvos that can protect a person from suffering. What about a person who is unable to perform these mitzvos? Is he destined to suffer? consider, for exam-ple, a person who was in an earthquake and finds himself alive and well, but trapped underground, or a person who survives a car accident

spite of traveling along the main road out of Poland, the Brisker Rav escaped to Russia unscathed. He credited this miracle to the fact that he employed the method advised in Nefesh HaChaim throughout the duration of his perilous journey.

485 There is a deep explanation pertaining to this in a letter written by HaRav Eliyahu Wein-traub zt”l. He writes that to the extent that a person trusts and lives with this thought — where he senses this truth in a basic way, that there is nothing at all besides Hashem, and that all the forces in creation are nothing — to that extent he has elevated himself in his trust in Hashem, and at the root of all roots above in the heavens applies the verse: “for I said, ‘The world is built on kindness,’” and this person will in turn merit being governed by Divine Kindness, since he has attained a grasp and appreciation of what lies at the root of everything (Hashem). So too, the person who remains cognizant of this reality that there is nothing besides Hashem, merits measure-for-measure to be treated in accordance to the nature of this root.

but is hospitalized, or a person stranded at sea. Apart from prayer and repentance, are there any other things a person in such straits can do? The answer is yes. There is something a person can do, which is on the one hand very simple, yet on the other extremely effective. Rab-beinu Bachaye writes,486

Anyone who accepts upon himself to do a Torah deed, even though he has not yet done it, he is forgiven from the moment he accepted upon himself to do it, provided his commitment was sincere. This is explicitly stated in the verse,487 “for from the first day that you set your heart to … fast before your god, your words were heeded.”

In other words, in Heaven, one gains credit for a mitzvah from the time he accepts upon himself to do it. This principle finds itself echoed in the writings of other great Rabbis. The Orchos Tzaddikim writes,488 “from the moment he makes the commitment, this man attains mer-it, and in a single small moment, he goes from darkness to great light, and he has the reward and the merit of all the mitzvos [that he ac-cepted to do] … since he made the mental commitment to do them.”

Bearing this in mind, we gain new insight into the greatness of the statement,489 “We shall do, and we shall hear (Na-ase VeNishmah).” The Jewish People accepted to do whatever the Torah instructed. With this grand statement they merited to become credited for the fulfill-ment of the entire Torah.490

Someone in a life threatening predicament can make a commit-ment to do something, such as being more careful with Shabbos, or to

486 Kad HaKemach, Erech “Kippurim.” 487 Daniel 10:12.488 Shaar HaTeshuvah.489 Shemos 24:7.490 See Rabbeinu Yona on Avos 3:9.

accepting to do a mitzvah is credited

as having done a mitzvah


give a certain amount to charity. With such a commitment he receives immediate credit. With this increased merit he greatly increases his possibilities of being saved. A person can even make a conditional commitment, such as, “If I get out of this situation, I will give this much to charity.” This suggestion finds its way codified in Jewish Law.491 One can even make such a commitment without a vow.492

In just about every Bais HaMidrash you will find a sefer called Pnei Yehoshua. This sefer is full of incredible chiddushei Torah. few people know what it was that inspired the author to pen this work. The au-thor makes the following testimony:493

Here is the place to explain how this work came about. It was because of a vow I made, at a time of dire danger, as I will de-scribe. It was the third of Kisleiv, in the year 5463 in the city of Levov. I was sitting peacefully in my house with my friends and students. Suddenly, in a split second, without the slight-est of warning at all, a massive ball of fire entered into the house (an explosion). What had happened was that several huge containers of Polveer (a highly flammable substance) became ignited. The fire destroyed many houses in the neigh-borhood. Many great homes, strong and fortified, were razed to the ground. About 36 yidden died in the blaze. Amongst them were my wife, my mother and maternal grandfather. My youngest daughter, who was so cherished by her mother, and ever so precious to me, had also perished. As for myself, (upon the explosion) I had fallen deep in the earth (the house had collapsed). Above me were the broken beams of my house. I was trapped. I said to myself, “It has been decreed upon me to die young. I will never see a man again.” I was afraid that my house would turn into my grave. I stood to be stoned, burned, pierced and suffocated all at once. The judgment of

491 See Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 571:3; see Levush ad loc. and Kaf HaChaim.492 See Piskei Teshuvas §621:6, in the name of responsa Lehoros Nosan vol. 9 §4.493 See introduction to Pnei Yehoshua.

all four types of death had been pronounced upon me… How-ever, Hashem had compassion on me. About 15 or 20 minutes after the explosion and ensuing collapse of the house, I heard the voices of many people. They had come to try and rescue people who were buried amongst all the fallen debris. As they walked through the debris trying to save people, they acciden-tally killed many. More died from this than from the original collapse. They cannot be blamed. This was required in order to rescue people. For me, I was gladdened. It appeared now that I was not for sure going to die. There was now a chance I may still live. That was when I made the commitment. I pledged to Hashem, “If you rescue me from here, and provide for me a place to teach Torah, I will fully dedicate myself to in-depth learning of Shas and poskim. If it takes many days to clarify a matter, I am prepared to do it...” Before I had finished saying these words, Hashem already had answered my prayer. Before my very eyes I saw a pathway through the debris. I walked through the debris to safety, completely unscathed. Without any doubt, it was Hashem’s salvation, in a place where there was no rescue. From then on, my main learning has been in Halacha, the sugios of Shas with poskim… I wrote what ap-peared to me was the truth.

The Pnei Yehoshua made a commitment in his time of duress. Hashem listened. He carried through on his commitment, and today we have the sefer “Pnei Yehoshua.”

20. The best advice

The Rosh Yeshiva of Ner Yisroel, Rav Aharon feldman told the fol-lowing story:

In a small village in pre-war Europe, there was an old wagon driver. He was reliable and deft in his trade. One day, a new wagon driver took

avoid the mud and there is nothing to be

cleansed


up residence in the village. He was young, and so were his stallions. He competed with the old driver for business. The old wagon driver approached his young competitor, and com-plained that he was taking away his livelihood. The young driver said, “I also need to make a living, and this town is big enough for the both of us.” The old man replied, “I un-derstand your position, and I’ll allow you to work together with me… but on one condition. I want to first test you, and see if you have the know-how to be a good wagon driver.” “Agreed,” said the young driver. The old man asked, “It’s a terribly stormy day. Your wagon is filled with passengers and luggage, when suddenly you slide into a ditch where one of your wheels sinks deep into the mud. You’re stuck. There is no way for you to get the wheel out. What are you going to do?” The young man said, “First of all, I’ll take down all of the luggage in order to lighten the wagon. Then, if need be, I’ll have the passengers get off, too” “Good,” said the old man, “you’ve done that, but the wagon still won’t budge. What are you going to do now?” “I’d take a few branches and place them under the wheel, and this way, the horse can pull the wagon out of the mud.” “We’re talking about where you can’t find any branches.” “So, I’ll use stones instead of branches.” “There are no stones, either.” Silence pervades. Then the young driver speaks. “I don’t know what to do, but what, pray tell, would you do in such a situation?” The old driver grinned and said, “An experienced wagon driver is careful never to end up in the mud in the first place!”

Only a person who has become stuck in the mud has a need to seek ways out of it. So too, only one who has become dirtied from the filth of transgression has a need to find ways of atonement. The wise man keeps his eyes open and steers himself clear away from the ditch in the first place. Not only is he careful not to sin, he tries to avoid

situations which bring him close to sin, as it states in Mishlei,494 “The wise man is afraid, and keeps a distance from evil.”

Understanding this, it becomes obvious how critical it is for one to become aware of the all of the laws of the Torah, as other-wise he might be making Torah violations on a daily basis without even being aware of it. He has no chance of repenting as he does not know what to repent for. His soul becomes increasingly filthy with sin, making the yissurim process a foregone conclusion. The Chafetz Chaim writes:495

Even though, when it comes to Torah study, whatever a person learns, even if the topic is pertaining to things of no practical relevance, he still fulfills the positive com-mandment of learning Torah, nonetheless, the mainstay of a person’s learning should be study that brings to prac-tice (Halacha). for this reason, our Sages say,496 “Hashem loves the gates of Zion more than all the dwellings of Yaa-kov.” Hashem loves the academies that specialize in Jew-ish Law, more than the houses of prayer and houses of study of Yaakov. See also in Shulchan Aruch497 where the Shach quotes the Prishah, that every man has to learn Hal-acha each day, in order that his study should bring him to practice, and by learning Jewish Law, a man is assured of attaining life in the World to come...

Therefore, the best advice that a person can follow is to increase his study of Torah, especially those areas of practical relevance, as in this way he veers away from any ditch or pot-

hole, preserving the cleanliness of his soul, and even goes on to

494 14:16. See there the commentary of the vilna gaon.495 Introduction to Mishnah Berurah.496 Brachos 8a.497 Yoreh Deah 246.

The substitutes of yissurim offer the same blessings — without the pain


adorn his soul with fine character and good deeds. This way he greatly minimizes any yissurim (in this world and the next) while at the same time assures himself a generous portion in the World to come.

-8-

APPRoAChing A FRienD Who is suFFeRing

ntil now, we have discussed how a person needs to accept all the events of his life wholeheartedly and willingly, for everything that occurs is for his best. Indeed, yissurim are a very great blessing in disguise, to the point that one can rejoice over them. As the

gemara says in Sanhedrin,498 “Yissurim are precious.” Being cognizant of this, one may become prone to think that when

yissurim befall someone else, that he in fact is very lucky: “Look how Hashem loves him and cares to rectify him. Since he is so lucky, I am not going to try to help him out of his predicament. I do not want to take away his bless-ing. Why should I deprive him of the myriad benefits of yissurim?”

498 101a.

If suffering is good, why not just let others suffer?

184 Approaching a Friend who is SufferingThis Too Is For The Best 185

However, there seems to be a contradiction. In tractate Brachos499 we find that Rebbi Yochanan asked Rebbi chiyya bar Abba (who was in the midst of yissurim), “Are yissurim dear to you?” He replied, “Neither the yissurim, nor their reward!” This suggests that it is not good for a person to suffer. We find a similar sentiment in the grace after Meal prayer,500 “And release us, Hashem our god, quickly from all of our travails.” We pray to be relieved from yissurim.

So are yissurim good or bad? We have seen dozens of sources stat-ing clearly that they are good, but then why should we pray to avoid

them and help others out of them? One way to address this is as follows.

Yissurim are relative. Obviously the best situation is where a person should not

have any suffering whatsoever. On the other hand, a person who has a need for atonement, yissurim of this world rectify his soul, and save him from the much greater pains that would otherwise befall him in the Next World. In this respect, yissurim are precious.

It is all relative. When analyzing yissurim from the angle that they bring manifold benefits, they are a great blessing. However, when analyzing yissurim from the angle of what they do to a person (cause pain, inhibiting), they are surely unwanted. If the only way to gain atonement would be through yissurim, then it would not make sense to pray for them to go away. It is better to have the yissurim now than later. However, as was mentioned in chapter 7, there are other op-tions available (i.e various mitzvos). These options are preferred over ‘regular’ yissurim, as they are done voluntarily, and apart from aton-ing, they increase one’s merit in the World to come. Let him invest his energies in learning Torah. Let him keep Shabbos with excellence. This is far better than waiting for Heaven-sent yissurim.

With this in mind, we can answer the contradiction. We do not want yissurim to befall ourselves or anyone else, since the same atone-ment can be achieved through other, more comfortable and lucrative,

499 5b.500 In the third benediction pertaining to the building of Yerushalayim.

Many sources praise yissurim, yet we pray

to avoid them — why?

means. This is why Rebbi chiyya bar Abba did not want his suffering, and this is why we pray to escape them and why we have a mitzvah to help our friends out of them. On the other hand, when, in spite of our efforts, yissurim arrive, we accept them gladly, remembering the myriad Divine Kindnesses abounding within them. On this the Sages said, “Yissurim are precious.”

With this we can approach a friend who is suffering. He is in dis-tress. He is in pain. Where another Jew is in need, others have a mitz-vah to help him, as the Rambam writes,501 “It is a mitzvah for every person to love every other Jew as he loves himself, as it is written,502 ‘Love your fellow man,’ and to care for his property as he would care for his own.” If we are commanded to care for our fellow’s possessions that they should not become damaged or harmed, how much more so are we obliged to look after his physical and emotional well-being, for example, helping him out of a stressful situation.503

Judge him favorablyIt was explained above504 that a person is safe to assume that his

yissurim are coming as atonement. Therefore, upon seeing a friend go-ing through yissurim, one is prone to thinking, “He must have done a terrible sin, and therefore he has such yissurim. He ought to be re-buked for what he has done.”

This attitude is mistaken. In the Navi Iyov we find that Iyov’s friends, upon seeing his yissurim, gave him words of rebuttal for hav-ing sinned so much. The degree of sin appeared to be evident from the massive amount of yissurim that Iyov had. Hashem himself re-buked Iyov’s friends for this:505 “Hashem said to Elifaz the Yemenite: My anger burns against you and your two comrades.” Rashi explains

501 Hilchos Deos 6:3.502 Vayikra 19:18.503 See also Sefer Chassidim, Tomer Devorah, and Shemiras HaLashon amongst others who cite

the fulfillment of the mitzvah of loving your fellow man, when helping him out of yissurim.504 ch. 2 §5.505 Iyov 42:7.


the verse:506 “Iyov’s friends sinned by condemning Iyov … and assum-ing him to be wicked… they should have comforted him as did Elihu. It was not enough that Iyov was in such pain and suffering that they added on to his travails by rebuking for naught.”

It is clear that Iyov’s friends made a twofold mistake:

A) They felt safe to assume that Iyov was a wicked man because his sins were the cause of his suffering (when in fact Iyov was very righteous).

B) Their words of rebuke added extra pain. This is considered a type of verbal abuse.

However, these two points need to be clarified. Why were Iyov’s friends wrong? Were they not correct to assume that the yissurim

come from sin? Why were Iyov’s friends taken to task over this?

Even if a person sinned, this does not necessarily render him into a wicked person (rasha). Maybe this person has re-pented.507 Perhaps the sin was committed unintentionally. Maybe he is an exception

and his yissurim are “yissurim out of love” or “for a test.” for any one of the above possibilities, the friend would not be considered wicked, and one needs to give him the benefit of the doubt.508

Thus, although it is true that yissurim come chiefly as a result of sin, this does not render a person a rasha, Heaven forbid. Quite to the contrary, he is a person very much beloved by Hashem, as is seen from the fact that Hashem cares for him like a treasured son, to rectify his blemishes and improve him in manifold ways through these yissurim.

Pertaining to the second error of Iyov’s friends that they re-buked at a time of suffering. This is something that must not be

506 Ibid.507 See Brachos 19a.508 See Sefer Chafetz Chaim Laws of Lashon Hara Klal 3: 7-8 and Klal 4: 1-7.

If a person transgressed, it does

not automatically make him a bad

person

taken lightly. Indeed, one who mentions to a person in pain, “You deserve this because you have sinned,” or other similar statements, in spite of any good intentions, has transgressed a Torah prohibi-tion, as it states:509 “A man shall not make his friend suffer.” This is referring to mental distress caused by words (Ona-as Dvarim), as our Sages explain:510

What is considered making your friend suffer? If someone has a dubious history, but has since bettered his ways, one must not say to him, “Remember your early days?” If he is the son of converts, do not say to him, “Remember your father’s ways.” If he himself is a convert and wants to learn Torah, do not say to him, “The mouth that ate non-kosher meat, vermin and slithering things, should now come and learn the Torah uttered by the Omnipotent One?” If suffering or illness befalls a per-son, or he buries his children, do not say to him as Iyov’s friends said to him…

The Ben Ish Chai writes:511 “One might think that is it permissible to say to a suffering person that his sins are the cause of his suffering so he should declare the justice of his punishment and come to repent; as in truth, a person with yissurim is obliged to do just that, therefore, the gemara tells us, that this is forbidden to say this to him, for he causes him embarrassment by doing so.”512

Another reason not to rebuke a suffering person is because the mitzvah to rebuke has parameters. One may only offer a word of rebuke if he knows of a particular sin his friend has done. If one cannot iden-tify the specific transgression, there is no mitzvah to rebuke. Therefore,

509 Vayikra 25:17.510 Bava Metzia 58b.511 Ben Yehoyada, Bava Metzia 58b. 512 See Shulchan Aruch Choshen Mishpat 228 with the associated commentaries.

Telling someone they deserve their

suffering only adds to it… and is forbidden


when seeing a person with yissurim, since the onlooker does not know for what sin the yissurim came, there is no place for rebuke. Even when a person knows of a sin his friend has done, he must be careful to say it in a way that will not cause him pain or embarrassment. When a person is suffering, it is hardly the time to offer words of rebuke.513

To summarize, when a person has yissurim, there is no place for rebuke because:

1. The sin is not identified. 2. At a time of pain, words of rebuke cause mental anguish.

During a time of suffering, the Torah approach is to offer a friend warm words of comfort and encouragement, and to do whatever one can, to lighten his burden and rescue him from the situation at hand.

3. commiseration with the community in a time of suffering

The Sages say:514

A man should share in the suffering of the community, for we find concerning Moshe Rabbeinu that he took pains to suffer with the community, as it is written,515 “Moshe’s hands were heavy; they took a stone and set it beneath him, and he sat upon it.” Did Moshe Rabbeinu not have a cushion or pillow to sit upon? Rather, Moshe said: “Since the Jewish People are suffering I shall also participate in their suffer-ing (by sitting on a stone and not a cushion).” Anyone who suffers with the community, is considered meritorious, and will merit to see the community brought out of its plight.516

513 giving rebuke is a great mitzvah. One is referred to review the laws of rebuke, to do so cor-rectly. See Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 608:2, with the associated commentaries, and Im-rei Yaakov on Shulchan Aruch HaRav, Choshen Mishpat, Dinei Ona’ah uGneivas Da’as §28:66.

514 Taanis 11a.515 Shemos 17:12.516 cf. Bamidbar 11:16 with Rashi, ad loc.

The Rambam517 writes: “It is a positive commandment in the To-rah to cry out and sound the trumpets upon any misfortune that comes upon the community.” Where there is a communal hardship, each member of the community is expected to play a role in relieving the distress, even if the person himself is personally unaffected. The Maharsha518 brings a proof for this from Sefer Bereishis where Yosef, during the years of famine in Egypt, took pains to relieve his fellow men from their plight, even though he himself most certainly was not suffering from hunger.

It is incumbent on a person to share in the plight of his suffering brethren. However, on a practical note, what does this mean? In the present day and age, what can a person do to share in the plight

of his community? We find in the works of the later authorities519 the ideas to fast, pray or give charity. One may also offer physical assistance where feasible.

What constitutes ‘communal suffering’ to oblige one to take part? The types of situations where the community finds itself in mortal danger obligates all of its members to share in their plight. This is seen from the Rambam quoted above who cites examples such as famine, plague and locusts, all of which place the commu-nity in danger of physical survival. In application to modern times, we can safely say that a place in the midst of a war or natural di-saster (earthquake, tsunami, tornado, etc) would be considered a situation of ‘communal suffering,’ obligating all members of the community to help relieve the suffering.

What happens to a person who separates himself from the com-munity and remains aloof to their suffering? The gemara teaches:520 “When the Jewish People are suffering, and one of them distances

517 Hil. Taanis 1:1.518 Taanis 11a, in chiddushei aggados.519 See Shulchan Aruch in Orach Chaim 578 and its associated commentaries. 520 Taanis 11a.

If the community is in pain, each

individual must try to help


himself, then two Heavenly angels that accompany this man place their hands on his head and say, ‘This man has separated himself from the community; he shall not see the consolation of the community.’”

Similarly, we find that this person’s sin is so acute, that he can only find atonement for it at the time of his death, as our Sages say:521 “When the community is in trouble, a man should not say, ‘I will go to my house, eat and drink, and all will be well with me.’ If he does this, on him the verse states:522 ‘It shall be revealed to the ears of the Lord of Hosts, if this sin shall be atoned for them until they die.’”

Why is this person dealt with so harshly? Is separating oneself from the community really so bad? To understand this, we must understand why one separates himself to begin with. The Rambam explains:523 “But if they (the people of the community) do not cry out and do not blast [the trumpets], but rather say, ‘The thing that befell us is the way of the world, this tragedy is a case of bad luck,’ this is the path of cruelty, and causes them to cling to their evil ways.”

The Rambam teaches that there is a twofold problem with this person’s attitude. first, he exercises the trait of cruelty, as he has the ability to bring the community at least a bit of respite through his prayer and charity, and instead of bringing salvation, he stands apart and says it is the way of the world. Secondly, by disregarding the Heaven-sent yissurim, he fails to search his ways to think about why Hashem is sending these misfortunes, thus remaining firmly en-trenched in the very mistakes which brought upon the misfortune in the first place. Regarding a person who lives his life entirely separated from the Jewish community, see note.524

521 Taanis 11a.522 Yeshayah 25:13.523 Hilchos Taanis 1:3.524 The Rambam writes (Hil. Teshuvah 3:6): “These are the ones who have no portion in the

World to come, but instead are cut off, lost and judged for their extreme wickedness and are considered sinfulness for eternity: Those who deny the Torah, those who cause the com-munity to sin, those who separate themselves from the ways of the community.” He explains further (Ibid. 3:13), “One who separates from the ways of the community, even if he never committed a transgression, but just separates himself from the community of the Jewish People, and does not fulfill the mitzvos together with them, and does not join in their

4. commiseration with a person in a time of suffering

Just as a person is expected to join his community in a time of difficulty, so too, he should help his friend in his time of personal travail. The Rambam writes:525 “Just as the community fasts over its troubles, the individual too, fasts for his troubles. When? If someone [he knows] is sick or lost in the wilderness, or imprisoned, he should fast for him and seek mercy on his behalf through his prayers.”

The words of the Rambam need to be clarified. Who exact-ly must he fast and pray for? If you say this includes anyone he knows that needs the help, he might spend his whole life fasting and praying without respite! Also, the Rambam starts off saying that an individual should fast for his own troubles, and when cit-ing examples for this, he brings cases of fasting for other people’s troubles. furthermore, there seems to be no source in the ge-mara for the words of the Rambam — from where does he derive these laws?

The Maggid Mishnah offers a penetrating explanation:526

Even though the Rambam’s words are not supported ex-plicitly in the gemara, nonetheless his statement can be derived by logic. This is because fasting and praying are ways of repentance and submission. As every individual is obligated to consider his ways at a time of yissurim and

suffering, and does not fast on their fast days, but rather goes his own way as one of the peoples of the earth and [acts] as if he is not of them [the Jewish People], he does not have a portion in the World to come.” We can derive from here the great rewards accrued by someone who shares in the troubles of the community, as the measure of reward is always greater than the measure of punishment (mida tova meruba) as we find in tractate Makos.

525 Hil. Taaniyos 1:9.526 Ibid.

console others in their times of pain


repent, it only follows that in such times he should fast and return to Hashem.527

We have seen the principle that when one has yissurim, he should repent his ways. Needless to say, if one is personally suffering, he has a need for self-evaluation, but it does not stop there. When Reuven sees that his friend Shimon is suffering, this causes Reuven pain, as he feels and grieves over Shimon’s plight. Shimon’s pain is considered Reuven’s pain, (as has already been discussed, mental anguish also qualifies as yissurim) and consequentially Reuven should also intro-spect, as he also is suffering.

Now we may begin to correctly understand the Rambam’s words. Who must one fast and pray for? for himself, if he is suffering, or for other people whom he feels pained over. With this we understand why the Rambam begins with one’s personal travails, yet ends describing the travails of others, as he is merely describing cases where one feels pained. With this we understand who it is that a person is obligated to pray for, and that is whoever one feels pain for.

We may now answer another question. What precisely is the difference between commiserating with the community or with an individual? The Rambam divided them into two sections. Why?

While one is expected to commiserate with an individual only where he also has pain over it, albeit only mental anguish, when it comes to communal suffering it is different. One is obligated to com-miserate with the community even where he is not affected or pained over their yissurim.

It emerges from here, that one has no obligation to pray for some-one with yissurim, if he himself is not personally pained over it. De-spite this, it is still highly commendable to pray for such individuals. By this, he fulfills the positive Torah precept of loving his fellow man. The Yaaros Devash writes:528 “He should pray for every ill person in the

527 These words are codified as Halacha in Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 578:1, and the Mishnah Berurah §1. Also see the Kaf HaChaim in Orach Chaim 578 §4.

528 In his commentary on prayer, on the blessing of Refaeinu.

city… and be with them in their suffering, and not say, ‘What differ-ence is it to me? He is not close to me or my relative.’ Rather, it is ap-propriate to pray without making such distinctions.”

This can be understood on a deeper level. It says in the gemara:529 “All the Jewish People are responsible for one another.” The Tomer De-vorah explains:530

All the Jewish People are related to one another, because their souls are intertwined… Therefore, it is correct for a person to desire the best for his friend, to see his fortune in a positive light and delight in his honor as he would in his own honor, because his friend is actually only an ex-tension of himself. for this reason, we were commanded, “Love your fellow man like yourself.”

The pain of one’s friend is actually his own pain, for we are all lik-ened to one body.531

Sometimes a person finds that he is cold inside. He knows he should be feeling for his friend’s predicament, but the sad reality is that he feels nothing. What can a person do to arouse his heart to ear-nestly care for someone else who is suffering? The chazon Ish offers the following advice:532

If you lack the feeling of commiserating in the pain of someone else, then what you can try is to endeavor to help him and relieve him of his suffering. This deed will have its influence on the heart, and inspire you to ear-nestly partake in your friends travail. Also, one is ad-vised to pray about someone’s pain, even if the words do not flow sincerely from the heart, and even if the one

529 Shavuos 39a.530 ch. 1, in his explanation of the attribute, “lesheiris nachalaso.”531 See also Sefer Chassidim 753.532 Kovetz Iggros, vol. 1 §123.


in pain is one of a dishonorable disposure. This helps to awaken one’s heart.

Rabbi Moshe Leib of Sassov was known for his capacity to earnestly feel the pain of his fellow man. Whether someone was suffering physically or mentally, it made no difference. Once, someone who witnessed this expressed his astonish-ment to the Rabbi. “How can you share in the travails of this man so thoroughly?” “What do you mean ‘share,’” re-plied the Rabbi. “It is my own sorrow, how can I help but suffer it?”

5. Ways to help

We have seen how important it is to help our fellow man in his time of need. Interestingly, the person who makes helping his friends an important priority, actually ends up gaining very much. His friends will grow in their appreciation for him. In the same way he is adorned by people, so too, in Heaven his importance and honor grow with every act of kindness he performs. In the merit of his commendable behavior, he earns himself an extra measure of Divine Mercy, as our Sages say:533 “Anyone who displays mercy for others will be granted mercy from above…”

How can we make this teaching a practical part of our daily lives? In general, there are three ways a person can help his fellow man: a) with his possessions, b) with his physical body, c) with his speech. Let us clarify each one.

a. helping by means of possessions:One can accomplish much for a friend’s welfare by using his pos-

sessions. for example, he can loan or give to his friend needed items or money. He may consider giving charity, bearing in mind that in the merit of this act, the friend should become alleviated from

533 Shabbos 151b. See also Mishlei 18:16 with the associated commentaries.

his yissurim (e.g. healed, gain back his losses). As was mentioned previously,534 charity has the ability to save one from death, and all the more so from other travails.

B. helping by means of body: There is a mitzvah to invest one’s physical energy towards helping

a fellow in need. Included in this is helping him to get up, sit or walk, buying and delivering things for him, sweeping the house for him or other similar jobs.535

c. helping by means of speech:One can accomplish much with well chosen words. The Chafetz

Chaim writes:536

It is a big mitzvah to ease someone’s suffering and wor-ries. This is a part of “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Doing this brings much satisfaction to Hashem. We may understand this by way of analogy. If one had a son in another city who was suffering ter-ribly, surely his father would very much want to find a person there, even one man, who could console his son and give him encourage-ment, strengthen him etc… So too, we are all considered as Hashem’s children.537 Thus, surely this person who comforts his fellow man, brings great satisfaction to the Almighty.

It is similarly possible to help a friend by means of prayer.538 Rabba bar chanina Sabba said in the name of Rav: “Anyone who can seek mercy for his friend, but does not do so, is called a

534 chapter 7:2.535 As we find mentioned in Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 335:8.536 Shemiras HaLashon, Shaar HaZechirah 11.537 cf. Taanis 22a, the episode of the two clowns.538 Brachos 12b.

helping other people is not contingent

on money; there are endless ways to help

other people


sinner… If a Torah scholar is in distress, all the more so is it in-cumbent upon one to pray on his behalf...”539

It is important to note, that when one prays for someone else, this causes his own personal supplications to be accepted, as we find mentioned in Sefer Chassidim.540 In sefer Bris Olam, it is written:541 “If a person prays for others in their time of difficulty, then when he him-self encounters difficulty, the ministering angels will be sure to pray for his deliverance.”

To summarize, there are myriad ways one can help his fellow man in distress, some easier than others. The main thing is to somehow help. When one accustoms himself to this, apart from having inter-nalized another teaching and mitzvah of the Torah, he also wins for himself a host of advocates, promoting his best interests in this world and in the next.

539 The reason why extra emphasis is placed on praying for a Torah scholar is found explained in Yaaros Devash (Part 1, Drush 1, on the blessing of Refa’einu): “We ought to pray for the Torah scholars who weaken themselves by learning Torah. Before the sin of the golden calf, they were strong, but afterwards this strength was taken from them, and for this reason they are weak… It is incumbent upon us to pray for their well-being and their for-titude, for are they not the keepers of the Torah who possess the true transmission of the Oral Torah? Indeed, our souls are bound up with theirs, and if there were no Torah schol-ars, Heaven forbid, than we would have no right to exist.”

540 §553 He also compares the one who ignores the yissurim of his fellow man, to an animal who likewise shows no concern for the plight of its brethren.

541 On Sefer Chassidim §218, cited by Kaf HaChaim §578:4.

-9-

to summARiZe

1. What are Yissurim? Any pain or suffering, whether mental or physical, including even a minor inconvenience.

2. Why does Hashem send Yissurim? There are seven reasons why a person might have yissurim:

Out of Love Out of love for a tzaddik, Hashem sends him yissurim which will greatly enhance his life in the World to come. His suffering atones for the generation, which on the one hand allows the people more time to better their ways and avert yissurim, while on the other hand grants the tzaddik a portion of all of the mitzvos which would not have happened if not for his suffering. This type of yissurim is reserved only for tzaddikim.

198 To SummarizeThis Too Is For The Best 199

as a Test Hashem tests tzaddikim to increase their reward, as their latent potential was translated into action. When passed successfully, a test also advertises to others the greatness of the tzaddik, while providing a living example to be learned from. This type of yissurim is reserved only for tzaddikim.

Divine Vengeance

If a person or city are utterly infused with evil, yissurim are sent to eradicate the evil from the world. The town of Sodom serves as a classic example. A typical person should never assume his yissurim are from this category, Heaven forbid.

To Inspire Repentance

A person can suffer or witness the suffering of others in order to help him see the truth of the world and thus inspire him to repent his ways. A degree of introspection is therefore required with each experience of yissurim.

as atonement

The common denominator behind all yissurim is they serve to atone for sin — even intentional sins. The atonement is conditional that the recipient accepts his yissurim, and does not reject them by complaining or casting suspicion on Divine Justice. furthermore, the transgression which caused the yissurim, can be ascertained by the nature of the yissurim themselves, facilitating complete repentance and strengthening one’s faith in Divine Providence.

as Liability for Others

The Jewish People are connected to each other spiritually, and therefore are liable for each other. As a consequence, one can receive yissurim as a result of someone else’s sin. This only happens if the nature of the sin was severe and it is a time of Divine Wrath (which is rare). One can also stand to be punished for the sin of someone else if he was in a position to successfully stop the misdeed but failed to do so. He is given partial blame since he could have prevented the sin.

To Prepare for the Messianic era

In order to elevate the world to the level necessary for Mashiach, a yissurim process of epic proportion is required, which takes on the pattern of childbirth.

Suffering through Negligence

If a person conducts himself without responsibility (for example, he overeats, smokes, speaks badly of others, holds company with bad friends etc.) and as a result suffers, this will not serve as any type of atonement, but rather quite to the contrary. He will be taken to task for why he was not more careful with himself. Most of a person’s travails fall into this category.

3. accepting Yissurim. One who accepts his yissurim with a whole heart fulfills the Torah precept of loving god. One who is happy over his yissurim is most praiseworthy. His happiness is not over the actual yissurim, but rather over the positive ben-efits which result from them. Every Jew has the innate ability to recognize the Divine Justice in his yissurim. The one who as-cribes his suffering to coincidence causes his situation only to deteriorate. The one who doubts the Divine Justice behind his yissurim has nullified the atoning element of his pain, and has


instead committed a grave offense which in turn will need fur-ther atonement.

4. Yissurim are Precious. Some people think that suffering re-flects that Hashem is angry at them or “does not like them.” The truth is precisely the opposite: Yissurim are a reflection of Divine Love. The degree of love being expressed corresponds to the severity of the yissurim. The person who recognizes that his yissurim are Heaven-sent and accepts them with a full heart, merits:

y To be protected from future suffering. y The dissipation of his present troubles. y An ensuing period of grace, where his prayers will be readily

accepted. y Long life and children. y To have a more comprehensive grasp of Torah. y To be rendered fitting to enter the delight of the World to come. y In the future to become an authentic prophet and merit the

enormous privilege to learn Torah directly from Hashem. y Elevation both in this world and the next. y An extra measure of closeness with Hashem.

5. accepting Yissurim Graciously. By keeping the following practical pieces of advice in mind, it becomes easier to accept yissurim with a whole heart.

y The loss of something is only a superficial loss, as one’s true es-sence has not been affected.

y A loss of materiality is of no real consequence when measured against the eternity of the afterlife.

y One does not mourn the loss of something attained without his own might. Hashem gives us everything.

y Everything one has is only given as a loan, conditional to be re-turned at the ‘request’ of the owner. It is only common cour-tesy to express humble gratitude to the owner when returning ‘the loan.’

y One never knows for sure that what happened was in fact bad. As the outcomes of the yissurim are still unknown, judgment must be reserved.

y People of much greater stature have suffered far worse yissurim. One should be glad he was spared.

y The world abounds with yissurim. Praiseworthy is the one who does not delude himself into thinking that life is supposed to be easy. He is not fazed at a setback and sets a true example for others to follow.

y Yissurim are custom-tailored remedies, sent to a person by the instruction of god. The medicine is guaranteed to work and does not cost anything.

y No suffering lasts ‘forever.’ There is a predetermined time limit for all yissurim. By means of repentance, prayer and charity one can sometimes hasten their departure.

6. Rejoicing over Yissurim. By keeping the following practical pieces of advice in mind, it becomes easier for a person to be happy with his yissurim.

y Yissurim are atonement. They reflect awesome Divine Mercy, as they can accomplish more for a person than had he brought sac-rifices. By means of yissurim, a person gains atonement even for sins committed intentionally. A little bit of yissurim go a long way in exempting a person from much more serious punish-ments, in this world and the next. Yissurim are sent in ‘install-ments,’ allowing a person to pay his dues in an easier way.

y Accepting yissurim is a form of serving god. There can no greater privilege and honor in the world than serving the Almighty god.

y Remember the enormous benefits gained by having the right at-titude in accepting yissurim, as mentioned above.

y Every time someone is confronted with yissurim, he should realize that there is a guaranteed outcome for the best. The blessing in disguise far outweighs the hardship. This positive outcome will be revealed to all in the Next World, but the per-


son who lives with this concept, will merit recognizing the blessing even in this world.

7. Substitutes for Yissurim. It is possible for a person to gain atonement through performing the mitzvos. If done correctly, he can avoid the necessity to have yissurim. There are certain mitzvos noted for their atoning qualities.

y Meticulous observance of Shabbos. Even if the person was an idol worshipper, he will be forgiven in the merit of Shabbos.

y giving charity. Included in this is to influence others to give, or to give words of hope and encouragement to a needy one. In the merit of charity given anonymously, one is saved from purga-tory, death and other illnesses. Even in the thick of yissurim, charity can redeem a person.

y Acts of kindness. This is even greater than giving charity. y Learning Torah is an all-encompassing healing. In the merit of

learning Torah one can have all of his sins forgiven. Yissurim run away from the person who learns Torah.

y Learning Torah and acts of kindness. combining selfless acts of loving-kindness with in-depth Torah learning causes the great-est atonement possible. for this, one merits to be saved even from the birth pangs of the Messianic Era.

y Repenting for transgressions and faulty character traits. The de-gree of atonement is commensurate to the degree of regret. No sin is beyond repentance. Even a man who was wicked all of his days can still successfully repent.

y Prayer. Every prayer is heard and brings some advantage. Prayers are greater than sacrificial offerings. Tearful prayer can quash an evil decree. Prayers can work even in a situation which seems hopeless. A person’s chief means of success lies in prayer.

y Reciting the verses pertaining to the sacrifices. Repentance must precede the recital, which takes place only by day. One must un-derstand what he is saying.

y Seeking peace. Even a partial success is a whole success. Seeking peace applies just as much to settling a dispute between oneself and someone else, as it does to settling two warring parties.

y Relinquishing hard feelings. When one ignores a slight done to him, measure for measure Hashem will ignore the sins he com-mitted. His reward is exceedingly great.

y Attending discourses on ethics. The words of a Rabbi can enter a person’s soul and kindle new inspiration. One can merit great atonement through this.

y Judging favorably. The way a person judges others is how he himself will be judged in Heaven. To see a person’s actions in a negative light, yet to conclude that he at least had good inten-tions, is also included in this mitzvah.

y Answering Kaddish with all one’s strength. When one responds “Yhei Shmei Rabbah” with all of his concentration and in a loud voice, he can merit having his sins forgiven and evil decrees nul-lified.

y Modesty. In the merit of being modest beyond the letter of the law, a woman can gain atonement for herself and her entire household.

y crying over the death of a good person. Since a person accords great honor to the deceased by such conduct, he is rewarded with atonement. His tears are counted in Heaven, and even harsh decrees issued against him are annulled.

y Mitzvos performed with excellence. Any mitzvah performed with perfection has the quality to bring great atonement. Even a decree of seventy years is nullified in the merit of such a mitz-vah. According to the effort invested, will be one’s reward.

y Using the same limbs for mitzvos. When one performs a mitzvah with the same limb that was used for a sin, it accomplishes a great rectification. for example, if one spoke words of slander or lies, he should now speak words of Torah.

y There is no power except for Hashem. One who meditates on this truth merits to be saved from all negative forces. Ain od milvado.


y There is always a possibility for atonement. Even when a person finds himself in a situation where he is unable to do something, he still has a very powerful tool at his disposal: He may accept upon himself to do a good deed, and he is immediately credited as if he had already done it.

y The best advice. Only a person who sins needs atonement. Praiseworthy is the one who is diligent in Torah and gives par-ticular emphasis to Jewish Law. With this, he knows how to uphold the law and stay clear from sin. Doing so, he precludes any necessity for yissurim, while at the same time secures for himself a generous portion in the World to come.

8. approaching a Friend in Suffering. One has a mitzvah to help a friend who is suffering. Although yissurim are indeed beneficial, nonetheless, since it is possible to gain atone-ment in different and better ways (e.g. through mitzvos) it is incumbent for one to endeavor to relieve his friend from suffering.

Although yissurim come as atonement for sin, this does not render the person a ‘rasha.’ It is very likely that he already has repented, or that his sin was unintentional. One is not allowed to rebuke his friend at a time of suffering. This is considered a form of verbal oppression.

When yissurim of a life-threatening nature visit a communi-ty, all members of the community are obligated to try and help (i.e. through prayer or charity). This applies even to members of the community that are not personally affected. A person who ignores the suffering of his community at their time of need is guilty of a grave transgression.

Just as there is an obligation to share in the plight of the community, so too, there is an obligation to share the plight of a friend or relative. concerning other individuals with yis-surim, there is a great mitzvah to help them too. Help can be offered by means of one’s possessions, physical help or words

of encouragement. The one who takes the time to help his friend merits much Divine Mercy and brings great satisfac-tion to Hashem.

May all of us merit to be counted amongst the tzaddikim and together rejoice in the rebuilding of Yerushalayim and the revelation of Hashem’s majesty, soon in our days. Amen.

בריך רחמנא דסייען

Financial Problems 207

Appendix 1

FinAnCiAL PRoBLems

he society we live in today is blessed with great prosperity, yet there are still many poor people. However, today’s poor man is not necessarily a beggar on the street. He may own a home and have a job and family. Nonetheless, he may be hav-

ing credit problems. He cannot make the payments on the mortgage, or he has reached the limits on his credit card and needs to take yet another loan. These are people who are sinking into debt. These people are consid-ered “poor” and make a fitting address for tzedakah. Unfortunately, today,

there are many such poor people. Being poor constitutes one of the most common forms of yissurim. Indeed, Rebbi Elazar HaKappar said:542 “A person should always

plead for mercy regarding falling into financial destitution, for if he him-self does not land in financial problems, his son will, and if his son does not, then his grandson will...” The gemara continues: “The academy of Rebbi Yishmael teaches: financial destitution is an ongoing cycle.”

542 Shabbos 151b.

Financial problems are quite common

today

Poverty is a fact. Neediness shows itself to every family at least once in every three generations.543 Therefore, this subject carries with it much practical relevance and is deserving of special attention. Our Sages teach much on the topic, and have shone light on the innate dangers of being poor, as well as poverty’s strong points.

1. The Benefits of Impoverishment

he merits complete atonementOur Sages say:544

Eliyahu said to Bar Hei Hei [some say to Rebbi Eliezer]: What is written,545 “Behold, I have burned out your impurities but not with silver; I have chosen you through the furnace of poverty.” This teaches that Hashem considered every good measure He could give to the Jewish People and found only destitution [as being worthy]. Shmuel said [others say it was Rav Yosef]: This is what people say, “Poorness is to the Jewish People, as a red rod is to a white horse.”

There is much to be understood here. Why is poverty the chosen mode of yissurim? Why do the Sages compare impoverishment to a “red rod for a white horse?”

The Maharsha explains:546 “The white horse is a good omen when it appears in a dream… it signifies the cleansing of sin. It means the

543 See Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 247:3 where we find this principle codified in Jewish Law. There is, however, a way to prevent this from happening. The Aruch HaShulchan (Yoreh Deah 247:5) writes: “I have a tradition that by soliciting charity from others to give to worthy causes saves a person’s progeny from having to beg for their livelihood.” This can be understood in the following way. Since, when a person collects charity he suffers in much the same way that a beggar does (he gets turned away etc.) therefore, his collecting is con-sidered in the place of the poverty which was supposed to visit the family.

544 Chagigah 9b.545 Yeshayah 48:10.546 Ibid.

Poverty is exceedingly difficult

but carries with it great atonement

208 Financial ProblemsThis Too Is For The Best 209

same here. Even though financial problems are hard for them [the Jewish People], and are thus likened to a ‘red rod,’ still, poorness cleanses them, and thus benefit them like a white steed.” That is, the “furnace of poverty” purifies the entire person in a way that he re-mains perfectly white, free of any blemish, similar to the smelter’s red furnace that heats the metal until the impure elements become separated, leaving the metal clean and pure.

he is saved from GehinomThe gemara547 says that a poor person is spared from Gehinom.

Rashi548 explains that since he was poor, this atoned for his sins, ren-dering Gehinom unnecessary. Not only is he spared the judgment of Gehinom, there is more. The gemara says:549 “Three will not see the face of gehinom: those who suffer the pangs of financial problems, disease of the digestive tract or suffer from their creditors.” Note that the Sages do not say, “Three are spared gehinom,” as they say in other places, but rather, “Three will not see the face of gehinom.” The vilna gaon explains this on a verse in Mishlei:550 “The poor will not hear re-buke,” — meaning, even the tzaddikim need to pass through Gehinom, only that their mitzvos protect them so that the fire of Gehinom has no power over them. But he who has suffered the pangs of destitution will not hear rebuke at all, that is to say, he will not even pass through Gehinom.

he acquires the ultimate advocateIn Tehillim it states:551 “for He (god) will stand to the right of the

pauper, and save him from His Judgment.” The Chafetz Chaim552 once commented that from here it is evident that Hashem Himself will de-fend a person who endured the pain of financial problems in his life.

547 Yevamos 102b.548 Dibbor hamaschil ‘Vhoksiv.’549 Eruvin 41b.550 13:8; the Maharsha to Eruvin ibid also explains this way.551 109:31.552 Shem Olam, conclusion.

Such a “lawyer” cannot be bought with money, or even with mitzvos, but only with financial problems. The defendant can feel at ease dur-ing the most severe prosecutions, as he has the best lawyer.

he merits a double portionThe Midrash comments,553 “If the pauper passes his test and does

not rebel, he receives double in the future time, as it is written,554 ‘for You shall grant salvation to the lowly one.’ from whom do you learn this? from Iyov, who was tortured in this world, and Hashem repaid him twofold, as it is written,555 ‘And Hashem multiplied all that Iyov had by two.’”

he acquires true humilityThe Alshich556 writes that a natural re-

sult of being poor is true humility. This is the best of all the positive attributes.557 great honor is in store for the humble person, as the Torah guarantees,558 “Be-fore honor is humility.”

In summary, although poverty is a great test, still, one suffering financially gains many advantages. He merits a complete atonement, is saved from Gehinom and even bypasses Gehinom and goes straight to Gan Eden. In the Next World Hashem will be his personal lawyer, his portion doubles and he acquires the crown jewel of fine attributes, namely — humility. furthermore, he receives all the benefits given in the merit of accepting his yissurim with a whole heart, as are outlined in chapters 4 and 6.

In spite of these great qualities, there is also great risk involved with poverty.

553 Shemos Rabbah §31.554 Ibid 18.555 Iyov 42.556 On Mishlei 18:12.557 See Iggeres HaRamban.558 Mishlei 18:12.

Successfully going through poverty

brings much blessing in its wake


2. The challenges of Destitution

The Midrash Tanchuma says,559 “There is no greater evil than finan-cial problems.” The Sages write:560

There is no measure more difficult than financial prob-lems, for all who suffer the pangs of poverty, it is as if all the suffering of the world clings to him, and it is as if all the curses in Chumash Devarim have befallen him. Our Rabbis taught that if all the suffering of the world would be gathered together on one side [of a scale] and financial problems on the other side, financial problems would outweigh them all.”

The Pele Yoetz writes,561 “Poverty is a great test to a person; its evil is very great, as our Sages have said, that having no money is the most difficult of all yissurim.”

We see that the Sages understood poverty to be the greatest travail a person can undergo. It is a situation which most definitely

must be avoided. Indeed, we find in the gemara562 that the Rabbis enacted a de-cree prohibiting one from giving more than a fifth of his earnings to charity, lest he become impoverished.563

What remains to be clarified is, why is it is so bad to be im-poverished? Obviously, it is very difficult, but to say that there is no greater evil? It seems, at first glance, to be exaggerated.

559 Mishpatim §15.560 Shemos Rabbah 31:12.561 Erech “Aniyus.”562 Kesuvos 50a. 563 There are exceptions to this, for example if a person is extremely rich, or is giving for the sake

of atonement. See Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 249:1 with the associated commentaries.

chazal: Nothing could be worse than

poverty

Poverty causes a person to act against his own principles and those of the Torah

Our Sages say,564 “Three things cause a person to transgress his own principles. They are: idolatry, the evil spirit and the strains of impoverishment.” The Tur and the Shulchan Aruch also make mention of this.565 How does poverty lead a person astray? Rabbeinu Yona writes:566

Idleness brings to financial problems, and this leads to many sins and much evil, for out of financial problems, he comes to desire gifts, and thus he will not live. He will flatter people even if they are wicked, so they will give him gifts, and when the gift mon-ey runs out, he will steal… Once a person comes to these attributes, nothing can stop him, and he will neither rest nor be silent until he has transgressed all of the mitzvos written in the Torah, for one sin leads to another.

Poverty leads a person to complain against hashemShlomo HaMelech writes in Mishlei:567 “Poverty and wealth do

not give me… lest I languish, steal, and swear falsely with the Name of my god.” The vilna gaon568 explains that he prayed never to become impoverished, lest he make the grave mistake of com-plaining against the ways of Hashem for having decreed upon him to be poorer than others.

564 Eruvin 41b.565 Orach Chaim 156.566 Avos 2:2.567 30:8-9.568 Ibid.

The stress and strains of poverty can dangerously challenge one’s

emunah


Poverty is disgraceful We find in Mishlei:569 “The pauper pleads, and the rich man answers

with arrogance.” Rabbeinu Yona writes:570 “financial problems bring on disgrace. They cause him to seek mercy and cast himself before others and to flatter them. The fear of others and ingratiation are lowly at-tributes. One who is dependent on others is disgraceful.”

People flee from the company of a pauperWe find stated in Torah:571 “The brother of a pauper hates him; even

his friends distance themselves from him.” Rabbeinu Yona explains:572

The verse comes to teach us of the harm that comes from people who are dependent on others. for his brother hates him once he realizes the embarrassment he endures by being his relative. If his own brothers hate him, all the more so will his friends and acquaintances. They say in their hearts that only embarrassment and disgrace will come from his companionship.

It would follow, that if people who had been good friends until now come to abhor his friendship, then making new friends will prove all the more so an enormous challenge. Thus, the impoverished one is bereft of family and friends.

In summary, poverty is one of the worst fates a person can pos-sibly suffer. The impoverished person is in danger of transgressing his

own ideals and the Torah’s ideals, to the point that he discards all precepts of the Torah. He is prone to complain of Hash-em’s ways, while he brings great disgrace

upon himself as a natural result of the mannerisms that come as part and parcel of being an impoverished person. As a result of his dis-

569 18:23.570 Ibid.571 Mishlei 19:7.572 Ibid.

Poor people tend to feel — and often are

— quite alone

grace, his family and friends are embarrassed of their relationship and inwardly wish he would just go away. He is bereft of friendship. His world could hardly be worse. With this we can readily understand the above quoted Midrash, “There is no greater evil than financial prob-lems.”

In conclusionAfter having reviewed the pros and cons of poverty, a clear picture

emerges. Although there is much benefit to be derived from impover-ishment, it should nonetheless be avoided. Just as a person would run to save his very life, so too, a person should strive to relieve himself from financial destitution. May Hashem bless us all with all that we need, forever.573

573 After reading this appendix, one might be prone to think that it would be a good thing to strive to get rich to remain far away from being poor. Although, in general, it is highly advisable to remain at a safe distance from any danger, (physical or spiritual), nonetheless, in reference to poverty, the optimum situation is to have whatever you need (not want) with comfort (birevach). The reason for this is, being rich also has its downside. Just like there is a side benefit that comes with being poor, and that is humility. So too, there is a side benefit that comes with being rich, and that is haughtiness. Haughtiness is the worst possible attribute a person can have, as the Shaarei Kedushah writes. See more in Mishlei 18:12 with the commentary of the Alshich, and Iggeres HaRamban.

The Death of a Child 215

Appendix 2

the DeAth oF A ChiLD

he pain a parent feels over the demise of a child is un-speakable. The private torture, the thoughts of what could have been and the shattered dreams are just a

few of a parent’s turbulent emotions. It is a tragedy that cannot be easily over-come. Still, we are meant to go on. Here are a few lessons to ease the burden. A person dealing with a situation like this should also review the good things which result from yis-surim, as mentioned above in chapters 4 and 6.

1. The child lives on

A parent who has lost a child is likely to think that it is as though the child never existed. This is not so. No matter the age of the child, once he has been brought to the world, he merits to have a share in the World to come. His tenure in this world was short lived, but in the Next World he lives on. He merits this life

Losing a child is a wound that can never

heal

on account of the parents who brought him into this world. The gemara in Sotah states:574

It is taught: Amram was the leader of the generation. When Pharaoh decreed that all the male children be cast into the Nile, Amram said, “Our efforts are useless.” He arose and separated from his wife. When the people discovered this, they too arose and separated from their wives. Amram’s daughter [Miriam] said to him, “father, your decree is worse than Pharaoh’s. Pharaoh’s decree was against the males, but you decreed against the males and the females. Pharaoh’s decree takes away their life in this world, but your decree takes away their life in this world and in the Next World. Pharaoh is wicked. His decree is not guaran-teed to stand. But you are righteous. Your decree is guaran-teed to stand, as it is written,575 ‘You shall utter a decree and

it will stand for you.’” Amram arose and reunited with his wife. Every-one arose and reunited with their wives.

What did Miriam mean when she said, “Pharaoh’s decree takes away their life in this world, but your decree takes away their life in this world and in the Next World”? How could Amram’s decree take away their life in the Next World? Rashi explains: Pharaoh’s decree only takes away their life in this world. They are born, then they die and proceed to life in the Next World. But you decreed against life in both worlds, since they will not be born, they cannot come to the Next World.

One can only merit life in the Next World if he first travels through this world. Thus, a parent who brings a child to this world, al-beit a short time, has nonetheless facilitated the child to live eternally in the Next World. We find in the gemara576 that even a miscarriage

574 12a.575 Iyov 22:28.576 Kesuvos 111a.

By living in this world, a child merits

the World to come

216 The Death of a ChildThis Too Is For The Best 217

has a portion in the World to come. Therefore, very much was accom-plished by having this child. The parents have accorded their child the greatest gift possible.

It is important to note, that at the time of the resurrection of the dead, the child will once again live in this world as the parents’ child.577

2. an atonement for the parents

Yissurim are atonement, and the greatness of the pain corresponds to the atonement. At the loss of a child, a parent becomes purified and redeemed from other untold suffering. In the Sefer Chassidim we find:578

The wise one says, there is one offspring, whether a boy or a girl, that redeems his father and mother from death or troubles, as it is written,579 “Yaakov, who redeemed Avra-ham.” Sometimes, suffering has been decreed on a per-son’s father or mother, but with the death of the child, the father and mother mourn, and the mourning redeems them from this fate. This is what is meant by, “In every sadness, there is advantage.”580

3. Favor has been restored in the eyes of hashem

The Midrash says,581 “Rebbi Elazar ben Yaakov said: A person must give appreciation to Hashem when suffering befalls him. Why? Because suffering draws a person close to god, as it is written,582 ‘for the one Hashem loves, He rebukes, and as a father to a son He will appease him.’”

577 Shomer Emunim (HaKadmon) Vikuach Sheini §81.578 §501.579 Yeshayah 29:22.580 How can one ascertain if a child has died to atone for sins the child himself committed in a

different life or on account of the parents sins? In Sefer Shomer Emunim Hakadmon (Vikuach Sheini, 81) it is written that one knows if children die of their own sins if they die between the ages of thirteen and twenty. children under the age of thirteen die on account of their parents sins.

581 Tanchuma, Ki Seitzei §2.582 Mishlei 3:12.

Rebbi Shimon ben Yochai said that if a man’s son should die, he should not complain, for the son has made him desirable to Hashem. The loss of a child is a pain that no words can describe. By contemplat-ing the above, the pain is somewhat mitigated.

May we all merit hearing good tidings, and the shofar blasts her-alding the final redemption with the rebuilding of Yerushalayim and the coming of Mashiach, speedily in our days. Amen.

About the Author

Originally from Toronto, Rabbi Yerachmiel Moskoff and his fam-ily now live in Eretz Yisroel. He studied under Rabbi chaim Pass, shlita, and subsequently under HaRav Moshe Mordechai Karp, shlita, from whom he received his Smicha. Rabbi Moskoff founded and di-rects ‘Kollel Shas’ — dedicated to learning Talmud Bavli together with the Yerushalmi, as well as giving shiurim in Mishlei and other topics to varied audiences.

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