2011 national fatherhood initiative 1 responsible fatherhood: what’s mom got to do with it?...

2011 National Fatherhood Initiative 1

Responsible Fatherhood: What’s Mom Got To Do With It?________________________________________________

Improving the well-being of children by increasing the proportion of children with involved, responsible, and committed fathers in their lives.

2011 National Fatherhood Initiative

Why are moms so critical to responsible fatherhood programs? What we heard from the field

Barriers dads face with moms Maternal gatekeeping Awareness issues (internal and external) Communication issues

NFI resources for moms

Overview


Father joins a fatherhood group

Why Are Moms So Critical?


Father understands his irreplaceable role



Father builds fathering skills



Father tries to reconnect with his child



Father runs into barriers with mom



Maternal Gatekeeping (Definition) Refers to a mother’s protective beliefs about the

desirability of a father’s involvement in their child’s life, and the behaviors acted upon that either facilitate or hinder collaborative childrearing between the parents.

Barriers Dads Face With Moms


Maternal Gatekeeping (Behavioral Aspects) How the mother speaks about the father in the

presence of their child and others To what extent the father is included or updated on

the child’s health, schooling or social life The extent to which the mother communicates to the

father that she knows what is best for their child and the correct way to do things—while he does not.



Maternal Gatekeeping (Reasons) Difficulty relinquishing familial responsibility Validation of her identity as the “mother” Age of the child View the father as incompetent or even dangerous to

the child Based on actual evidence; or On personal perceptions of him and his failures in the male

familial role



Maternal Gatekeeping (Affects) The ability of the child to adjust to parental divorce or

separation is weakened Can damage the father-child relationship Can damage the parents’ ability to cooperate and keep

their conflict levels low and out of the child’s earshot or awareness

Threat to the overall well-being and adjustment of the child



Awareness Issues What impact does her upbringing have on her

relationship with the father(s) of her children and men in general?

Does she understand the importance of the father’s involvement in the lives of their children?



Communication Issues Poor patterns of communication Timing of communication Lack of communication tools Poor listening skills



Group-based program 8, 1-2 hour sessions Helps moms focus on the goal of

accomplishing communication and awareness objectives that are vital to improving the relationships between them and the father(s) of their children

Understanding Dad™


Increase mothers’ knowledge, positive attitudes, and skills associated with improving their relationships with the fathers of their children

Increase mothers’ awareness of the impact that their upbringing (e.g. their relationships with their own fathers) has had on their relationships with the fathers of their children and men in general

Increase mothers’ understanding of the importance of fathers’ involvement in the lives of their children

Increase positive interactions between mothers and the fathers of their children

Understanding Dad™


3-session workshop Increase mothers’ awareness of what gatekeeping

is, how it operates, and how it is sometimes misused out of anger and hurt

Offer concrete examples that will facilitate mothers’ understanding of the negative impact of excessive gatekeeping and the importance of supporting father involvement

Engage mothers in exercises that will facilitate the reduction of restrictive maternal gatekeeping behaviors that inhibit father engagement.

Mom As Gateway™


Pocketbook for Moms Co-Parenting Communication New moms

For Baby’s Health tip cards

Tip Cards & Brochures For Moms

2011 National Fatherhood Initiative 18

Responsible Fatherhood: What’s Mom Got To Do With It?________________________________________________

Erik VecereVice President, Program [email protected]

2011 national fatherhood initiative 1 responsible fatherhood: what’s mom got to do with it?...

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