© 2005 the mcgraw-hill companies, inc. all rights reserved. chapter 8 marital relationships over...
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© 2005 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Chapter 8Chapter 8
Marital Relationships Over Marital Relationships Over the Life Cyclethe Life Cycle
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Chapter PreviewChapter Preview
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Chapter QuestionsChapter Questions
Can I be happy if my marriage Can I be happy if my marriage isn’t?isn’t?
How do families change over How do families change over time?time?
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Chapter QuestionsChapter Questions
What adjustments are necessary What adjustments are necessary for newly married people?for newly married people?
So how much will my life change So how much will my life change when I have a baby?when I have a baby?
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Chapter QuestionsChapter Questions
What issues do middle-aged couples What issues do middle-aged couples deal with?deal with?
What changes do older adults have to What changes do older adults have to contend with?contend with?
What are the special challenges for What are the special challenges for widows?widows?
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Guided Learning ProcessGuided Learning Process
11stst: Question: Question 22ndnd: Study: Study 33rdrd: Mark: Mark 44thth: Question again: Question again 55thth: Recite: Recite 66thth: Check : Check 77thth: Restudy if necessary: Restudy if necessary
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Text AssignmentText Assignment
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Can I be happy if my Can I be happy if my marriage isn’t?marriage isn’t?
A
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How do families change How do families change over time? over time? What changes happen in a typical What changes happen in a typical
American family? American family?
How happy are people with their How happy are people with their marriages at different points in life? marriages at different points in life?
What special challenges do gay and What special challenges do gay and lesbian families face? lesbian families face?
B 1-2-3
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What adjustments are necessary What adjustments are necessary
for newly married people?for newly married people?
What kinds of adjustments do couples What kinds of adjustments do couples need to make? need to make?
What are the most common problems What are the most common problems couples have in the early years of couples have in the early years of marriage? marriage?
C 1-2
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So how much will my life So how much will my life
change when I have a baby?change when I have a baby?
Just how stressful is it going to be? Just how stressful is it going to be?
How does fathering affect a man? How does fathering affect a man?
D 1-2
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What issues do middle-What issues do middle-aged couples deal with? aged couples deal with?
What can couples do about a long What can couples do about a long marriage that is no longer satisfying? marriage that is no longer satisfying?
What kinds of adjustments do parents What kinds of adjustments do parents of grown children need to make? of grown children need to make?
E 1-2
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What changes do older adults What changes do older adults
have to contend with?have to contend with?
What makes life satisfying for older adults? What makes life satisfying for older adults?
How happy are older adults in their marriages? How happy are older adults in their marriages?
What is the effect of divorce between older adults?What is the effect of divorce between older adults?
How do older parents and grown children get How do older parents and grown children get along? along?
F 1-2-3-4
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What are the special What are the special challenges for widows?challenges for widows?
G
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Special SectionsSpecial Sections
Preview SS
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Personal Perspective: Personal Perspective: WidowhoodWidowhood
What does it feel like to What does it feel like to be a widow?be a widow?
Preview PP
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Cultural Perspectives:Cultural Perspectives:
Individualism versus FamilismIndividualism versus Familism
What can we learn from the What can we learn from the Mexican American culture that Mexican American culture that could strengthen our families?could strengthen our families?
Preview CP
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At Issue TodayAt Issue Today
Who cares for the elderly?Who cares for the elderly?
Preview AI
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A Question of Policy: A Question of Policy: Long-Term Health CareLong-Term Health Care
How will we be able to afford the How will we be able to afford the health care costs of an aging health care costs of an aging
baby boom generation?baby boom generation?
Preview QP
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Marriage & Personal Marriage & Personal HappinessHappiness
QualityQuality of marriage has strong effect of marriage has strong effect on happiness and life on happiness and life
satisfactionsatisfaction
Marriages have to change with life Marriages have to change with life circumstances to be happy circumstances to be happy
Partners’ flexibility and willingness to Partners’ flexibility and willingness to make adjustments is critical make adjustments is critical
A
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The Family Life CycleThe Family Life Cycle
Family life is divided into phases Family life is divided into phases (stages) over the life span (stages) over the life span
Structure and function of family Structure and function of family change with each stagechange with each stage
B
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The Family Life CycleThe Family Life Cycle
Two children born two years apart.Two children born two years apart.
Children leave at age 20.Children leave at age 20.
Retirement at age 65Retirement at age 65
Men die at age 74, women at age 80.Men die at age 74, women at age 80.
Women spend at least 6 years as a Women spend at least 6 years as a widow. widow.
B 1
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The Family Life Cycle – The Family Life Cycle – Intact MarriageIntact Marriage
Married when woman is 25 and man Married when woman is 25 and man is 27.is 27.
First child born when woman is 27 First child born when woman is 27 and man is 29.and man is 29.
When last child leaves home, woman When last child leaves home, woman is 48 and man is 51.is 48 and man is 51.
B 1
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The Family Life Cycle – The Family Life Cycle – Intact MarriageIntact Marriage
Woman has 16 empty-nest years, Woman has 16 empty-nest years, man has 14, until retirementman has 14, until retirement
Couple has 9 post-retirement years Couple has 9 post-retirement years together together
B 1
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The Family Life Cycle – The Family Life Cycle – Divorced and RemarriedDivorced and Remarried
More complicatedMore complicated
Divorce when she is 30 and he is 32 Divorce when she is 30 and he is 32 and children are 3 and 5and children are 3 and 5
Women remarry 3 years laterWomen remarry 3 years later
Men remarry 4 years laterMen remarry 4 years later
Children live with their mothersChildren live with their mothersB 1
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The Family Life Cycle – The Family Life Cycle – Divorced and RemarriedDivorced and Remarried
Women are 33 when they remarryWomen are 33 when they remarry Children are 6 and 8.Children are 6 and 8.
Youngest child leaves when mother is 47.Youngest child leaves when mother is 47.
18 empty-nest years before retirement.18 empty-nest years before retirement.
9 post-retirement years with new husband. 9 post-retirement years with new husband.
B 1
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The Family Life Cycle – The Family Life Cycle – Divorced and RemarriedDivorced and Remarried
Men are 36 when they remarryMen are 36 when they remarry
He becomes a stepfather.He becomes a stepfather.
Spouses are 33 w/ 2 children ages 6 and 8.Spouses are 33 w/ 2 children ages 6 and 8.
Youngest child leaves when man is 50.Youngest child leaves when man is 50.
15 empty-nest years before retirement15 empty-nest years before retirement
8 years together after retirement.8 years together after retirement.
B 1
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Changes in Marital SatisfactionChanges in Marital Satisfaction
1. Stable/Positive1. Stable/Positive 2. Stable/Neutral2. Stable/Neutral 3. Stable/Negative3. Stable/Negative 4. Continuous decline4. Continuous decline 5. Continuous increase5. Continuous increase 6. Curvilinear-most common6. Curvilinear-most common
B 2
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Changes in Marital SatisfactionChanges in Marital Satisfaction
Curvilinear most commonCurvilinear most common
– High satisfaction at time of marriageHigh satisfaction at time of marriage
– Lower during child-rearing yearsLower during child-rearing years
– Rebounds — youngest child beyond Rebounds — youngest child beyond adolescent yearsadolescent years
B 2
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Gay and Lesbian FamiliesGay and Lesbian Families
Similarities to other family types:Similarities to other family types:
– Negotiate relationships with larger Negotiate relationships with larger community and families of origincommunity and families of origin
– Decide how to meet needs Decide how to meet needs Whole familyWhole family Individual membersIndividual members
B 3
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Marital Adjustment ProcessMarital Adjustment Process
Modifying and adapting behavior and Modifying and adapting behavior and interaction patternsinteraction patterns
Both individual and couple changesBoth individual and couple changes
Goal: Marital satisfaction and successGoal: Marital satisfaction and success
G
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Marital Adjustment TasksMarital Adjustment Tasks
Emotional fulfillment & supportEmotional fulfillment & support
Sexual adjustmentSexual adjustment
Personal habitsPersonal habits
Gender rolesGender roles
Material concerns & financesMaterial concerns & finances
Work, employment, & achievementWork, employment, & achievementG 1
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Marital Adjustment TasksMarital Adjustment Tasks
Social life, friends, and recreationSocial life, friends, and recreation
Family and relativesFamily and relatives
CommunicationCommunication
Power and decision makingPower and decision making
Handling conflict and solving problemsHandling conflict and solving problems
Morals, values, and ideologyMorals, values, and ideologyG 1
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Adjustment depends on:Adjustment depends on:
How many other issues couple has to How many other issues couple has to deal with regarding:deal with regarding:
– Degree of compatibilityDegree of compatibility
– How many issues unresolvedHow many issues unresolved
G 1
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Major Issues at Early StagesMajor Issues at Early Stages
Table 8.2 = challenges couples face earlyTable 8.2 = challenges couples face early
Money is number one, then:Money is number one, then:
Before marriage: jealousy, relatives, friendsBefore marriage: jealousy, relatives, friends
First year of marriage: communication and sexFirst year of marriage: communication and sex
After first birth: sex, communication, relatives;After first birth: sex, communication, relatives;jealousy and friends drop to bottom of listjealousy and friends drop to bottom of list
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Requirements for Adjusting Requirements for Adjusting to Parenthoodto Parenthood
Living with a totally dependent person is Living with a totally dependent person is very challenging!very challenging!
PreparationPreparation
Willingness to ask for and accept helpWillingness to ask for and accept help
Flexibility in adjusting life to meeting Flexibility in adjusting life to meeting another’s needsanother’s needs
D
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Degree of stress depends on:Degree of stress depends on:
How well prepared parents areHow well prepared parents are
How easy child is to care forHow easy child is to care for
Maturity of parentsMaturity of parents
Economic statusEconomic status
Social supportSocial supportD 1
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Being a FatherBeing a Father
What men consider important in What men consider important in fathering:fathering:
– LoveLove
– Being a providerBeing a provider
– ““Being there”Being there”
– Being a model, teacher, moral guideBeing a model, teacher, moral guide
D 2
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Being a FatherBeing a Father
Affected development more than Affected development more than anything elseanything else
Much more positive than negative, Much more positive than negative, despite challengesdespite challenges
Gave meaning to lifeGave meaning to life
D 2
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Midlife IssuesMidlife Issues
Physical changesPhysical changes
Awareness of finite time left – Awareness of finite time left – personalization of mortalitypersonalization of mortality
Introspection and self-analysisIntrospection and self-analysis
Heavy financial responsibilitiesHeavy financial responsibilities
Entering prime of life’s fulfillmentEntering prime of life’s fulfillment
E
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Adjustments during Middle Adjustments during Middle AdulthoodAdulthood
– Marital satisfaction lowest – Marital satisfaction lowest – school age/teenage children school age/teenage children
– Time for revitalizationTime for revitalization
– Sandwich generationSandwich generation
– Postparental yearsPostparental years Empty nestEmpty nest No so empty nest — boomerang kidsNo so empty nest — boomerang kids
E 1
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E End
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Late Adulthood Means Late Adulthood Means Maintaining:Maintaining:
–Health and activity levelHealth and activity level
–Adequate income Adequate income
–Fulfilling work rolesFulfilling work roles
–Acceptable living conditionsAcceptable living conditions
–Identity and social statusIdentity and social status
F 1
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Late Adulthood Means Late Adulthood Means Maintaining:Maintaining:
-Companionship and friendship-Companionship and friendship
-Leisure time-Leisure time
-New familial roles-New familial roles
-Acceptance of one’s life and -Acceptance of one’s life and achieving ego integrityachieving ego integrity
F 1
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Adjustments during Late Adjustments during Late AdulthoodAdulthood
Marital satisfaction usually increased Marital satisfaction usually increased — second honeymoon — second honeymoon
Divorce more difficult when olderDivorce more difficult when older– Negatively affects parent-adult child Negatively affects parent-adult child
relationshiprelationship Maintaining parent-adult child Maintaining parent-adult child
relations is importantrelations is important
F 2-3-4
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F End
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Life ExpectanciesLife Expectancies
Men die at 74Men die at 74
Women die at 80Women die at 80
Most women will be widowsMost women will be widows
Widows exceed widowers — at all agesWidows exceed widowers — at all ages
Spouse’s death — one of most traumatic Spouse’s death — one of most traumatic events events
G
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WidowhoodWidowhood
Widows need more family contactWidows need more family contact
ProblemsProblems– Major lonelinessMajor loneliness
– Home and car repairHome and car repair
– FinancesFinances
– Role changesRole changes
G
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G End