writing & selling your memoir

862019 Writing amp Selling your Memoir

httpslidepdfcomreaderfullwriting-selling-your-memoir 155



Chapter Title

writingampselling your

memoir

PAULA BALZER



Writing amp Selling Your Memoir Copyright copy 2011 by Paula Balzer Manuactured

in the United States o America All rights reserved No other part o this book maybe reproduced in any orm or by any electronic or mechanical means including

inormation storage and retrieval systems without permission in writing rom the

publisher except by a reviewer who may quote brie passages in a review Published

by Writerrsquos Digest Books an imprint o F+W Media Inc 4700 East Galbraith Road

Cincinnati Ohio 45236 (800) 289-0963 First edition

For more resources or writers visit wwwwritersdigestcombooks

o receive a ree weekly e-mail newsletter delivering tips and updates about writ-

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publicationscom

15 14 13 12 11 5 4 3 2 1

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Edited by Scott Francis

Designed by Claudean Wheeler

Photographs by Jason Bash

Production coordinated by Debbie Tomas



DedicationTO PETER Because my best stories start with you

AND JUNE Who added new chapters better chaptersmdash

who would have thought



table of contents INTRO Why Write Your Memoir 1

PART I preparing to writeCHAPTER 1 Understanding the Genre 6

CHAPTER 2 Whatrsquos Your Hook29

CHAPTER 3 Setting Your Parameters 46

PART 2 the memoiristrsquos toolbox CHAPTER 4 Structure Designing Your Memoirs Blueprint 64

CHAPTER 5 Voice How to Find It How to Use It 84

CHAPTER 6 Dialogue amp Pacing Killer First Paragraphs

and Awful First Drafts 104

PART 3 becoming the kindof writer publishers want

CHAPTER 7 Setting Goals amp Deadlines Why a Writer

Without Either is Looking for Trouble 121

CHAPTER 8 The Three Major Distractions How to Avoid Them So

You Can Stay Focused and Produce Your Best Work 129

CHAPTER 9 Being Stuck Productively 142

CHAPTER 10 Editing Your Work and Improving Your Craft 147

CHAPTER 11 Whatrsquos Your Platform Why You Need to Be Able to

Answer This Question Before You Approach Agents 159

CHAPTER 12 Social Media The Best Thing to

Come Along for Authors Since Coffee 173

CHAPTER 13 Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About

Literary Agents and How to Get One 184

CHAPTER 14 Your Bookrsquos Publication From Point A to Point B 203

CHAPTER 15 Controversy Navigating the Difficult Waters

of Memoir Writing 215



1

can still remember the day that I first ell in love with

a memoir It was on a day much like today in actmdasha

cold day relentless with rain I had been living in New

York City or about a year had my first post-college job and was

living in a tiny studio apartment that I adored despite its many pit-

alls While I was lucky to be gainully employed (somewhat gain-

ully anyway) and to have ound a semi-decent place to live I still

hadnrsquot been here long enough to ully integrate mysel into my new

hometown New York was exciting yes but tough going at times

It was lonely and I ofen elt like I was the only person in an entire

city o six million who didnrsquot have a ew riends she could call up

to have brunch or make plans to see a movie So books were my

solace and I tore through them like crazy that first year Stocking

up on a ew novels on Sunday afernoons became a ritual and it

was during a visit to Brooklynrsquos BookCourt that I happened upon

Mary Cantwellrsquos Manhattan When I Was Young While I canrsquot

honestly say it was the first memoir I had read I know itrsquos the first

one that made a lasting impression I immediately connected with

Cantwellrsquos story o moving to New York City to work in publishing

even though her affair with the city started a good orty years beore

mine did I elt an instant kinship with her narrative that was unlike

anything I had elt when reading fiction Like all book lovers I have

I

INTRODUCTION

Why Write Your Memoir



2

writingamp selling your memoir

my avorite characters and have ound mysel closely relating to

Beverly Clearyrsquos charming though undeniably awkward Ramona

Quimby since the age o eight On a good day I might eel a bit like

Harper Leersquos ormidable Scoutmdashor afer a day o too much online

shopping I might relate to Edith Whartonrsquos classic spendthrif Lily

Bart a bit more closely than I would like to And during most o my

twenties Bridget Jones was my personal hero But there was some-

thing about reading a real account o a young womanrsquos early years

in New York City that spoke directly to me I understood the thrill

that a new city brings even i being lost on the subway or sharing

your apartment with large flying insects are part o the equation

Cantwell writes o her first New York City apartment with an el-

egance that has made her memoir a classic

ldquoThe furnituremdashtwo studio couches a big table a couple of hard chairs

and a pier glass leaning against the fireplacemdashbelongs to the landlord

We have our reading lamps from college though and Alliesrsquos pho-

nograph and ironing board and iron from S Kleinrsquos on Union Squaresome pots and pans a small bottle of vermouth and a fifth of Dixie

Belle Gin We have in short everything we need anyway There are

nights when cross-legged on my studio couch Vivaldirsquos Four Seasons

on the phonograph and stray cats scrabbling in the weeds outside the

kitchen window I can feel joy exploding in my chestrdquo

Tat paragraph perectly captures the promise o adventure a wom-

anrsquos lie unoldingmdashsomething big starting rom almost nothing

and in a way this is really what writing a memoir is all about Tere

are too many memoirs to count that have started rom small sto-

riesmdasha child ignored but somehow growing up strong and success-

ul a woman losing hersel in her marriage but choosing to cast her

grie aside and take a long healing trip a boy in the projects o Red

Hook who believed God was ldquothe color o waterrdquo And another boy

this one in Ireland whose house was floodedmdashbut never mind his

amily just pretended they lived in Venice Could the authors o

Te Glass Castle Eat Pray Love Te Color o Water and Angelarsquos



3

Ashes ever imagined that these singular details o their lives would

eventually be turned into stories that would be read by millions o

people around the world And while the aorementioned memoirs

are wonderul there are many memoirs that are equally riveting

but arenrsquot exactly household names I sincerely hope that this book

will inspire you to experiment and read a ew that you might not

be amiliar with

Since reading Mary Cantwellrsquos story Irsquove been delighted to

learn that the world is ull o wonderul storytellersmdashand as you

probably know there is a memoir to be ound on almost every topic

Since most o us canrsquot just go off to Italy or India or a year or eas-

ily quit our jobs to try culinary school sometimes reading a good

memoir on the topic is the next best thing And while Irsquove always

been curious about the goings-on in restaurant kitchens and culi-

nary school greatly interests me I know Irsquom much better offmdashand

a lot saermdashcooking in my own kitchen so memoirs are the per-

ect stand-in Ten there are the memoirs where Irsquom so incredibly

grateul I havenrsquot had the same experiencemdashTe Glass Castle An-

gelarsquos Ashes Blackbird mdashthese are the memoirs that make me hug

my amily closer at night and nearly burst with gratitude over hav-

ing something as simple as a hug rom my young daughter Mem-

oirs are powerul and ull o eeling and they stick with you unlike

books rom any other genre

Te very act that yoursquore reading this book suggests that you

too are a lover o other peoplersquos stories and like me have a re-

lentless ascination with the lives o other people You canrsquot help

but wonder what kinds o apartments people on the bus are go-

ing home to or why it is the man in line next to you at the grocery

store is buying flowers Is he proposing Did he have a fight with his

wie Or does he just like the way flowers look in his dining room

You find the smallest o details ascinating and nothing escapesyou Memoir lovers are a nosy lot and wonderul tales are ofen

Introduction



4


spun rom the smallest o details which is probably why Irsquove never

stopped reading memoirs since the day I stumbled upon Manhat-

tan When I Was Young

So what is the story you want to tell Are you just a natural

story-teller who can put an amusing spin on any tale and can keep

everyone on the edge o their seats Have you led an unusually chal-

lenging or extraordinary lie and need some help getting it down

on paper Do you want to preserve your memories or generations

to come Are you planning to spend a year trekking through the

rainorest and want to chronicle the experience Whatever your

story the good news is that while memoir writing can be incred-

ibly challenging and daunting it is possible to make the process a

little easier with some proper planning and hard work Tis book

will walk you through the process by giving you some insight as

to what has made some o the most successul memoirs o late ap-

peal to millions o readers and how you too can learn rom them

Irsquoll help you figure out what your strengths are as a memoir writer

what pieces o your story might best be lef ldquoin the drawerrdquo what

your ldquohookrdquo ismdashthat special something that makes your story di-

erent rom everyone elsersquosmdashand how to keep your lie story rom

wandering and getting completely out o control Wersquoll work on all

o the basics toomdashvoice dialogue pacing structure Donrsquot get me

wrong setting out to write a memoir is hard work but by commit-

ting to this process and ollowing these guidelines yoursquoll come out

with a piece o writing yoursquoll be proud o and that will preserve the

story you want to tell or generations to come



PART ONE

preparing to writeI hate reading directions Irsquom more of a dive right in and see if I can figure things

out on my own kind of girl Irsquoll take this confession one step further and tell you

that in my foolish past Irsquove been known to skip an introduction when reading

books such as this one But luckily Irsquove learned a thing or two over the years hellip

namely that if the author of a book thatrsquos proposing to teach you how to write and

sell your memoir has bothered to include an introduction therersquos probably a good

reason Irsquod like to think thatrsquos the case here (read if you skipped it go back and

read it) Irsquom hoping that the introduction inspired you to get excited about the

genre Did it give you a ldquoHey yeah Thatrsquos exactly what Irsquom aiming to writerdquo sort

of feeling Goodmdashif it did then I succeeded Writing a memoir is a big project

and yoursquoll need to let that enthusiasm carry you throughmdashwhile your memoir is

coming along well and also when yoursquore feeling stuck and on the verge of giv-

ing up the entire endeavor all together Trust me it happens

And if you are anything like me right now yoursquore feeling like you just want

to jump up and get going already You want to write Irsquom here to ask you to think

about a few things before you jump into the wild world that is memoir writing

What if I told you that by just reading these first few chapters and sorting through

a few essential issues you could make your story more marketable Hint Publish-

ers love marketable What if by sitting back and listening to what I have to say you

could learn how to boil your story down into a few essential talking points Basi-

cally show you how to make your story all the more appealing to agents editors

and media outlets Handy information people Would you still want to jump in

and start working on your own Or would you be willing to listen What if by start-

ing out slowly I could save you the trouble of hearing the dreaded ldquosorry wersquove

already published ten memoirs about women who have quit their corporate jobs

to make organic jam for a livingrdquo Thatrsquos painful to hear after pounding out 300

pages of prosemdashbelieve me But you wouldnrsquot have had this problem if yoursquod read

section one first And lastly I can help you sort out all of your memories so that

yoursquoll know exactly how to choose the ones that are the most interestingmdashand

avoid the ones that are likely to bore a potential agent to death Again while Irsquom

really not much of a fan of getting ready to do anything I promise you itrsquos worth

it So letrsquos get READY TO WRITE



CHAPTER ONE

Understanding the Genre

6

ruth is stranger than fiction Wersquove all heard this a mil-

lion times beore But there is perhaps no better proo to

this statement than the overwhelming success o some

recent memoirs and the unbelievable growth this genre has ex-

perienced over the past ew years Frank McCourtrsquos groundbreak-

ing Angelarsquos Ashes spent two years on Te New York imes best-seller list won a Pulitzer Prize and a National Book Critics Circle

Award and more recently Elizabeth Gilbertrsquos runaway bestseller

and Oprah pick Eat Pray Love captured the hearts o women ev-

erywhere and currently boasts an astonishing five million cop-

ies in print Memoir lovers have eaten up books on topics cover-

ing everything rom bizarrely abusive childhoods ( Angelarsquos Ashes

Blackbird Te Glass Castle Running With Scissors) addiction ( A Million Little Pieces Dry Drinking A Love Story Beautiul Boy )

ood ( Julie amp Julia ender at the Bone) grie (Te Year o Magi-

cal Tinking ) unmanageable dogs ( Marley amp Me) and have even

shed collective tears during the last days o two different college

proessors (uesdays With Morrie and Te Last Lecture) Memoirs

have worked their way into the American mainstream and show

no signs o turning backMemoir writers are a brave lot It takes guts to tell a storymdash your

story mdashso publicly But memoir writers ofen find that the story they

T



7


carry inside o them simply needs to be told whether it means com-

ing clean about an abusive childhood or sharing a story about a

lie-changing trip And what is the story that you need to tell And

why a memoir Tere are many other ormats in which to tell your

story Personal essays magazine articles blogs and o course the

local pub are all viable options But a ull-length memoir allows

or exploration o the topic at hand and provides an opportunity

to use tension and pacing to draw the reader through your entire

story A memoir is the perect canvas or a writer to relay an expe-

rience completely on her own terms through her choice o setting

tone style voice ormatmdashand even how she portrays her ldquocharac-

tersrdquo and uses dialogue But beore we start getting down to work on

your memoir itrsquos important that we take a ew moments to discuss

those particular elements that make a memoir different rom other

literary ormats Having a better understanding o whatrsquos generally

expected o this ormat is going to make the planning process easierhelp you determine what are your strengths as a writer and how to

highlight them as well as figure out what are the strengths o your

story and how to maximize them as yoursquore planning out your mem-

oir Tere are so many different ways to write a memoirmdashan author

isnrsquot limited to a chronological retelling o events rom point A to

point Bmdashso a closer look at some o the key elements is a must

HOW MEMOIRS DIFFERFROM OTHER GENRES

KEY DIFFERENCE 1

Memoirs Create a Personal ConnectionBetween the Author and Reader

Tis is perhaps one o the greatest differences between memoirs journalism and fiction Tere is no other genre (other than maybe

the personal essaymdashbut hey itrsquos an essay therersquos only so ar you can



8


go) where the author is so closely connected to the reader You can

ldquoake itrdquo o course with novels everyone has elt a close connection

to fictional characters and this can certainly be meaningul but

we all know that ultimately our beloved avorite characters arenrsquot

real But knowing the individual whose story you are ollowing is a

real live person who did in act experience and eel every emotion

and event you are reading on the page is powerul

While journalists ofen serve as a guide in narrative nonfic-

tion which can be a wonderul way to experience a place or event

that we may never otherwise have a chance to see up close jour-

nalists are o course impartial A journalistrsquos job is to investigate

a particular topic and his objective isnrsquot to tell you about his ex-

perience but to collect and document the experiences o others

Tis is o course a good thing when it comes to journalism but

with memoir the beauty is in experiencing the emotions and ex-

pectationsmdashboth the good and badmdashwith the author which justisnrsquot possible with journalism Another important aspect o the

authorreader relationship however is that this usually means

that regardless o whatever horrific acts the memoirist may have

committed they must come across as likeable to the reader Tis

means that afer a long and terrible career o say slaying kittens

or stealing candy rom small children the memoirist must be

sel-reflective enoughmdashmust have learned enough rom her ex-perience that the reader can put such atrocities aside and look be-

yond the bad I the person writing the memoir is waking up ev-

ery morning and saying ldquoHey Irsquom going to see how big o a jerk

I can be today Watch me ruin livesrdquo itrsquos likely that their story is

just not going to have wide appeal I will admit that there are a

couple o notable exceptions to this rule but such exceptions are

rare and you would be well advised to avoid this ormat i you donot have enough distance rom your past actions to come across

with any remorse



9


KEY DIFFERENCE 2

Memoirs Transport Readers to a PlaceThey Wouldnrsquot Ordinarily be Able to GoMost memoirs are written (obviously) because the author has a

story or experience that is worth sharingmdashor their experience has

taken them to a place that ultimately provides a valuable lesson one

that is universal enough that a wide audience is going to glean value

rom it Tis experience can range rom anything rom a bizarre

or abusive childhood to an unusual job as a fisherman or maybe amagician In recent years wersquove seen memoirs on everything rom

living with dogs living with cancer surviving drugs and alcohol

addiction spending a year without shopping and losing spouses to

learning to cook French cuisine A memoir takes readers to a place

that they arenrsquot ordinarily able to go or rankly wouldnrsquot want to

go on their own accord and itrsquos the memoirist job to re-create the

experience or them in a satisying way on the written page Tismeans that you must have a story that is ldquoshare worthyrdquo and you

must be able to successully and accurately re-create your story with

colorul description vivid dialogue and masterul storytelling

KEY DIFFERENCE 3 Memoirs Must Successfully Battle

the ldquoSo Whatrdquo MomentBringing a story to lie on the page is about more than just ldquohav-

ing the materialrdquo A memoirist needs to be able to translate her

story into a lively engaging and share worthy story that a reader

is willing to plunk down his hard earned cash Nearly every de-

scription o a memoir hits what I like to cal l the ldquoso what mo-

mentrdquo I you take a second to think about it most (not all mind

you but most) memoirs are not written under the most extraor-dinary circumstances Because o this the memoirist has to bring

quite a ew additional elements into the mix to make his story



10


worth the fifeen to even thirty dollars it will cost you to buy it

Case in point Most best-selling memoirs i you were to boil

the story down to their core probably have the same story as

someone who lives down the street rom you or as someone who

works in your office Chances are you know a woman who went

through a horrible divorce a man who had terrible childhood or

even someone who has a really semi-cute but precocious dog So

what Do you want to hear about their divorce or this dog every

day Letrsquos take this a step urther Would you actually give them

twenty-six dollars to read intimate details about their divorce or

this mischievous dog Chances are you would probably start to

find this divorceacuteedog incredibly annoying and dull would go to

great lengths to avoid this person and would seriously consider

giving them twenty-six dollars to never mention their divorce

dog again Tis is what I call the ldquoso whatrdquo moment Since most

o us are not princesses daughters o amous rock stars etc we

just donrsquot automatically have the kind o mind-blowing material

that results in the ldquotell me morerdquo situation right off the bat Tat

doesnrsquot mean we donrsquot have the materia l to write a ascinating

memoirmdashit just means we have to batt le the ldquoso what momentrdquo

using some o the other tools in our toolbox While wersquoll get into

the specifics o how to do this in Part wo o the book or now

you need to know that some o the weapons used or battling

this problem are

bull voice

bull ormat

bull style

bull universal themes

bull relatability

bull a good hook bull clean parameters

bull an engaging moment o discovery



11


BEFORE YOU BEGIN

As with most things in lie whether it is applying or college buy-

ing a home or interviewing or a job itrsquos generally advisable to

approach the matter in a semi-knowledgeable ashion Obviously

you tend to agree since here you are reading this book As a mem-

ber o the publishing industry Irsquom constantly astonished when my

colleagues tell me they just ldquodonrsquot have time to readrdquo Um what

Irsquom a firm believer that to break into any business and in this case

yoursquove chosen the arguably eccentric and incredibly competitive

business that is memoir writing itrsquos best you know who and what

yoursquore up against rying to write a memoir without knowing a)

what is considered the best o the best b) knowing what the differ-

ent types o memoirs out there ldquoeel likerdquo and c) not being amil-

iar enough with the genre to toss around the most popular titles

and their authors and publisherrsquos names with ease would be do-

ing yoursel a huge disservice Irsquom not suggesting that you need to

take a leave o absence rom work and spend a year reading every

memoir that was published But I am suggesting that maybe you

find a way to carve out some extra time every day to devote some

time to research Tis might mean getting up a hal hour early

every morning to read turning off the television or not going to

the movies Do whatever you need to do to find some extra read-ing time Chances are i yoursquore eeling the bug to actually write a

memoir yoursquoll find the reading immensely enjoyable

A Couple of Rules to RememberWhether your goal is to write the next Autobiography o a Face or

Te Middle Place afer a difficult illness or simply use your witty

storytelling abilities to put a resh spin on what law school is re-ally like you have that option because one o the best things about

memoir writing is how much reedom there is or experimentation



12


Tere is always room or a resh new voice or an author who knows

how to make a story work within an exciting new ormat But there

are a couple o simple rules it would be wise to ollow closely

1 Memoirs vs Autobiographies Do Not Write aSingle Word Until You Understand the DifferenceUnless you are Bill Clinton or Eleanor Roosevelt (in which case

you have resurrected yoursel rom the dead which in itsel would

make or a ascinating memoir) or some other equally important

person o significant historical stature you are not writing an auto-

biography Tere seems to be much conusion on this topic and as

a lover o memoirs I canrsquot help but think the world will be a better

place once this issue has been sorted out once and or all An auto-

biography is a biography written by the person who is in act also

the subject o the book In other words an autobiography is the

entire lie story o a particular individual Still not ollowing me

Te more you amiliarize yoursel with the genre the more yoursquoll

see what Irsquom talking aboutmdashI swear raditionally autobiographies

are reserved or individuals who are extraordinarily amous since

an autobiography literally spans an individualrsquos entire lie and in

act usually talks about the previous couple o generations o their

amilies A regular Joe just isnrsquot going to be interesting enough to

warrant that in-depth look at his lie Princess Diana wrote an au-

tobiography and I assure you that she was amous enoughmdasheven

at such a young agemdashto warrant such a thorough treatment o her

lie story Irsquom certain her ans would want to know every detail o

her lie including inormation about her parents and siblings I I

were to write an autobiography (donrsquot worry Mom and Dad I have

no plans to) I assure you that no one could possibly care less as to

whether or not it was snowing on the day I was born As or Prin-cess Di surely there are chat groups devoted to that very topic Are

you starting to see the difference



13


o date memoir has come to mean an autobiographical work

that is generally more specific in nature or that encapsulates a spe-

cific period o time or an experience In other words your mem-

oir does not need to cover every detail o your entire lie rust me

no publisher or agent wants to get a query letter or a memoir that

begins with ldquoIt was raining the day I was bornrdquo Itrsquos never a good

sign It generally means that there are 850 10-point ont single-

spaced manuscript pages to ollow I you start to pay attention to

the timerame o the memoirs yoursquore reading yoursquoll note that theytend to cover a airly specific period So a memoir is not so much

a ldquolie storyrdquo as it is a ldquostory o a lie experiencerdquo I yoursquore not sure

how to whittle back your lie story into a manageable section wersquoll

talk about that more in chapter three For now just keep in mind

that this is not going to be a day-by-day week-by-week play-by-

play o your lie

2 A Memoir Is Not a Book-Length Rant While writing is certainly a cathartic exercise you would be wise

not to conuse anger with passion A memoir is not the place to

air your rustrations with your ex-wie your place o employment

your jerk next-door neighbor or anything else thatrsquos angering you

or that matter While rustrations emotions depressionmdashall sorts

o unpleasantnessmdashcome up when writing a memoir they must

be part o some sort o greater theme lest your memoir come out

as one large e-mail to the universersquos complaint department Who

would want to read that (Hello Go buy a journal) Just keep in

mind that your own personal anger regarding a specific issue isnrsquot

necessarily enough material or a ull-length work You must have

learned rom your experience and be able to communicate what

was going on in your situation in a way that will make sense toreaders on some sort o universal level so that they are able to con-

nect with you



14


ROUNDUP OF ALL-STAR MEMOIRS

Itrsquos impossible to predict which books will become massive best-

sellersmdashbelieve me i anyone ever managed to solve that puzzle

the publishing industry would be able to pay much better salaries

And while I would never recommend modeling your own project

directly afer an already published book it is certainly possible

to draw inspiration rom past successes Irsquom a big an o reading

and rereading well received books that may be similar in theme

to your own book with an eye or elements that may prove helpul

Keep paper and a pencil handy and be ready to note anything that

might inspire you You might find yoursel thinking ldquoItrsquos really cool

how this author breaks down her marriage into three different sec-

tions Tat wouldnrsquot work or my book about raising childrenmdashbut

it might be an interesting way to revisit the way I handle this section

about watching my parents grow olderrdquo Inspiration can come rom

anywhere Itrsquos about being willing and able to recognize it when the

opportunity is presented to you

Since you are almost ready to start writing your own memoir

keep the ollowing concepts in mind as you add new memoirs to

your library or reread old avorites

bull interesting ideas about how to handle structure

bull how different authors use flashback and move through time

bull where and why different memoirs begin and end when they do

bull how authors highlight sections where they seem to have

ldquorevelationsrdquo

bull how authors use dialogue to add color to their stories

bull what you like about each memoir

bull what you donrsquot like about each memoir

Okay Irsquom sure yoursquove already figured out that Irsquom a very passionate

memoir reader I really eat them up However what you probably



15


donrsquot know is that Irsquom actual very skeptical when it comes to mem-

oirs I tend to be a sucker or the underdog memoir I I havenrsquot

heard o it chances are Irsquoll want to read it So when everyone and

their mother (and o course Oprah) are positively swooning over

a memoir Irsquom actually a pretty tough customer But I was pleas-

antly surprised when I reread these mega-hits Tese memoirs are

all wildly successul or a reason and itrsquos definitely worth taking

a closer look at their strengths to try to glean what might have

made them resonate with readers Naturally there are quite a ew

memoirs out there that have reached superstar status and while

I couldnrsquot possibly cover them all I have included a list o mem-

oirs that have spent a significant amount o time on Te New York

imes best-seller list

REALITY CHECK You might be thinking ldquoI these memoirs

are so successul shouldnrsquot I just write one exactly like it ex-

cept a little different Like a male version o Eat Pray Loverdquo

NO Te examples I give are meant to inspiremdashnot to be cop-

ied Originality is key in publishing rehashing someone elsersquos

material will get you nowhere

EAT PRAY LOVE BY ELIZABETH GILBERT

BASIC PREMISE

A thirtysomething woman who seemed to have it all (husband

career country house apartment in New York City) is left feel-

ing confused trapped overwhelmed and most of all terrified to

have a child She finds herself crying in a panic on her bathroom

floor one night doing something that she can only liken to pray-

ing when she hears an oddly comforting godlike voice say ldquogo

back to bed Lizrdquo This experience is soon followed by a divorce

that can only be described as one for the record books and the

depression that came along with it was equally awful Gilbert then



16


decides to take an epic trip to explore three natures of herself in

three different locations She travels to Italy to eat Bali to prayand Indonesia to love

A TYPICAL MOMENT

At the beginning of my spiritual experiment I didnrsquot always

have such faith in this internal voice of wisdom I remember

once reaching for my private notebook in a bitter fury of rage

and sorrow and scrawling a message to my inner voicemdashto

my divine interior comfortmdashthat took up an entire page of

capital letters ldquoI DO NOT FUCKING BELIEVE IN YOUrdquo After amoment still breathing heavily I felt a clear pinpoint of light

ignite within me and then I found myself writing this amused

and ever-calm reply Who are you talking to then

WHY IT WORKS THE BREAKDOWN

1 Eat Pray Love has an interesting format The book is struc-

tured exactly like a japa malas prayer bead (note to read-

ermdashif yoursquore ever confused about structure apparently you

can look anywhere for inspiration) Her story like her beadsare broken down into 108 tales and into three sections (Eat

Pray and Love)mdashwhich she also points out is the same as

the holy trinity Pretty interesting right off the bat You im-

mediately get the feeling that this isnrsquot just an ordinary tale

of woe of some womanrsquos divorce

2 Who hasnrsquot been heartbroken depressed completely lost

and felt like a loser It would be easy to instantly dislike a

woman who gets to run around the world eating pasta anddoing yoga for a year but as she shares her experiences

she does so in such a way that you think ldquoYeah Irsquove been

thererdquo She is a ldquorelatable characterrdquo And a likeable one too

She picks herself up and takes control of her life Shersquos ev-

ery heartbroken womanrsquos hero

3 She manages to be serious and funny at the same time and

how she manages to do this on the topic of spirituality is

something of a marvel It would be very easy to sound smug

after doing several hours of silent meditation but she still



17


manages to inject the perfect amount of self-deprecation

She wants the reader to understand that she takes both herhappiness and her spirituality very seriously but she also

wants you to know that she fully intends to continue to be

a regular person and that her previous few months of eat-

ing gelato and pasta are an important part of her personal-

ity too And notice the setting of her first epiphany It isnrsquot

an ancient church a beautiful fountain or even a romantic

cafeacute itrsquos her bathroom floor Nothing says grounded like

having an epiphany on the floor of your bathroom

4 She listens and asks the right questions I think this is an

important point and ultimately where a lot of her humor

comes from I noticed that most of the sections in Eat Pray

Love that made me laugh were based on her observations

of others Case in point Her sisterrsquos explanation of what itrsquos

like to have a baby which she describes as ldquolike getting a

tattoo on your face You have to make sure you really want itrdquo

If she wasnrsquot listening but just blathering on about her owngrief she would have missed this and her memoir would

be missing a lot of its richness and color as a result She

also asks questions of herself that many women just donrsquot

bother to ask ldquoWhat do you want to do Lizrdquo ldquoWhat would

you find enjoyable to do today Lizrdquo Is it possible that shersquos

just found a way to make her grief much more glamorous

and therefore more fun to read about than the average

womanrsquos Entirely possible but definitely something everymemoir writer can learn from

ANGELArsquoS ASHES BY FRANK MCCOURT

BASIC PREMISE

Frank McCourt chronicles his self-described ldquomiserable Irish

Catholic childhoodrdquomdashand as he states ldquothe happy childhood is

hardly worth your whilerdquo When McCourt starts off by saying his

childhood was miserable he means it The story you go on to

read is so unbelievably miserable you keep soldiering on cer-



18


tain that their lot is just about to change The children are at the

complete mercy of their parents who are at complete odds witheach other about how to go about providing for children It rsquos a

bleak picture for sure Therersquos no food no work and as McCourt

points out they are always wet But this story is nevertheless

captivating and not just in a car wreck waiting to happen kind of

way There is a sense that the God this incredibly Catholic fam-

ily is praying to every single Sunday surely will not let this suffer-

ing go on much longer There are hints of love some high points

and ultimately McCourt himself is so charming and tenaciousthat you canrsquot stop reading

A TYPICAL MOMENT

I donrsquot know why we canrsquot keep Eugene I donrsquot know why they

have to send him away with that man who puts his pint on the

white coffin I donrsquot know why they had to send Margaret away

and Oliver It is a bad thing to put my sister and my brothers in

a box and I wish I could say something to someone


1 McCourt has an interesting approach to telling his own story

He manages to convey the facts in a manner that isnrsquot overly

emotionalmdashhe has just enough distance from the story to

make it readable Were the tragic events of Angelarsquos Ashes

told from the motherrsquos point of view for instance this mem-

oir may have simply been too sad to read This may have

something to do with the fact that wersquore seeing the events

through McCourtrsquos eyes as a young boy His narration pres-ents a naiveteacute that certainly gets across the seriousness

and sadness of their situation but also offers the reader a

bit of protection

2 While this may be one of the most horrific accounts of child-

hood gone wrong there is not an ounce of bitterness to be

found anywhere in McCourtrsquos memoir When journalist John

McGuire asked him about this in an interview for the St Lou-

is Post-Dispatch he responded ldquoOh it would be like having

some deep bitterness over a bad storm that hit Limerick



19


Nobody understands an act of Godrdquo There isnrsquot anything

much more inspiring than that Irsquom still angry that I missedthe UPS guy today

3 His prose is reminiscent of the Irish storytelling tradition and

I think itrsquos best summed up by Malcolm Jones who covered

one of McCourtrsquos tours for Newsweek and also wrote the fol-

lowing in the same magazine shortly after his death

Reduced to its essentials Angelarsquos Ashes looks like an en-

cyclopedia of Irish clicheacutemdashthe alcoholic pa the long-suffer-

ing ma the wee lads without a crust among rsquoem Yet some-how McCourt sidesteps sentimentality with a litany of hard-

ship that would make a cynic flinch ldquoMy father and mother

should have stayed in New York where they met and married

and where I was bornrdquo the book begins By the time the fam-

ily moved back to Ireland in 1934 four-year-old Frank had

gained three brothers and lost a sister Two more brothers

would be born and two would die The father drank his pay-

check and eventually wandered off for good during World

War II The mother the Angela of the title begged for charityand lived off the mingy help of relatives at one point sleep-

ing with a cousin so that her children might have a place to

live People who havenrsquot read the book always ask ldquoIsnrsquot it

awfully depressingrdquo Yes but it rsquos also awfully funny The

genius of the book is that the tears and laughter are rarely

separated by so much as a comma

THE COLOR OF WATER BY JAMES MCBRIDE

BASIC PREMISE

A young man who is also a writer and a musician had always been

puzzled by his racial identity so he decides to clarify it for once

and for all by researching his mysterious and somewhat dark fam-

ily history His mother Ruth McBride Jordan concealed her iden-

tity as the daughter of an Orthodox Jewish rabbi after she mar-

ried a black man She moved to Harlem converted to Christianity

and even helped to cofound a Baptist congregation She is twice

widowed by men she loved yet manages to raise twelve extraor-

dinary children in the projects of Red Hook Brooklyn



20


A TYPICAL MOMENT

Crsquomonrdquo she said ldquoIrsquoll walk you to the bus stoprdquo Surprise

reward Me and Mommy alone It was the first time I re-

member ever being alone with my mother It became the

high point of my day a memory so sweet it is burned into

my mind like a tattoo Mommy walking me to the bus stop

and every afternoon picking me up


1 The formatmdashthe story is told in alternating voices both James

McBridersquos and his mother Ruth McBridersquos Since they are com-

ing at the story from different viewpoints and with different

styles this approach keeps the prose lively and engaging I

found myself anxious to get back to both of their stories and

hungry for more as they both added a lot to the story

2 It is genuinely inspiring The hardships the McBrides experi-

enced are intensemdashyet this memoir is full of love passion in-

telligence and success Ruthrsquos achievements with her children

do not come across in a Lifetime MovieHallmark Hall of Famesort of waymdashbut through a simplicity and determination that is

refreshing and impossible not to be moved by How can you

not be affected by a child whose greatest joy is that he gets

to be alone with his mother for a few precious moments at the

bus stop every day McBridersquos observations about being part

of a large and poor family arenrsquot always positive and pretty but

every so often they are so lovely that their hardships come

across as just an unfortunate side effect

3 In addition to providing a great story this memoir moves through

all sorts of places and timemdashBrooklyn during different time pe-

riods Harlem the Deep South Manhattanmdashand McBride has

the skill to move through different time periods with ease

THE YEAR OF MAGICAL THINKING BY JOAN DIDION

BASIC PREMISE

Joan Didion and her husband John Dunne also a writer enjoyed

a long and happy marriage As Didion puts it ldquothere was no sepa-



21


ration between our investments or our interests in any given situ-

ationrdquo After visiting their only daughter who was in the intensivecare unit at a nearby hospital her husband suffered a fatal heart

attack as they were about to have dinner The Year of Magical Think-

ing is an exploration of grief It presents an in-depth and most un-

usual look at what the grieving process is like for someone who is

experiencing it firsthand

A TYPICAL MOMENT

I see how that my insistence on spending that first night

alone was more complicated than it seemed a primitive

instinct Of course I knew John was dead Of course I had

already delivered the definitive news to his brother and

to my brother and to Quintanarsquos husband The New York

Times knew Yet I was myself in no way prepared to accept

this news as final There was a level on which I believed

that what had happened remained reversible That was

why I needed to be alone


1 Didion is oddly able to look at her own grieving through a

very unusual set of lensesmdashthat of both a journalist and a

grieving widow Shersquos able to see that much of her behav-

ior was irrationalmdashyet self-aware enough to understand that

she could not realize at the time just how irrational she ac-

tually was

2 As a skilled journalist she looks at grieving from a different

perspective This isnrsquot just a compilation of researchmdashfacts

from experts on the topic interviews etc Didion is able to

ask the right questions like ldquoWhy was she able to immedi-

ately authorize an autopsy but not organ donationrdquo She is

aware that there is meaning in the smallest of gestures and

the oddest of reactions She is able to see that her ability to

give away her husbandrsquos clothes but not his shoes (when he

comes back hersquoll obviously need shoes is her rationale) are

ultimately examples or her total inability to think rationally

during this period She believes this is due to the fact that

deep down on some level part of her believes her actions



22


have the power to change the outcome of what happened

to her husband

3 While she does sometimes come off as a ldquocool customerrdquo

you really come to see that this reaction is just honestly

how humans work As you move further along in the book

you really see that itrsquos also a love story and a memorial to a

family as well

AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A FACE BY LUCY GREALY

BASIC PREMISE

Grealy was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer at the age of nine

which left her disfigured and subjected her to a life that included

physical and emotional pain and included an extraordinary num-

ber of surgeries Growing up with a disfigured face during a time

when beauty is revered caused Grealy to internalize all her fears

of being rejected and unloved

A TYPICAL MOMENT

When a filmrsquos heroine innocently coughs you know that two

scenes later at most shersquoll be in an oxygen tent when a man

bumps into a woman at the train station you know that man

will become the womanrsquos lover andor murderer In every-

day life where we cough often and are always bumping into

people our daily actions rarely reverberate so lucidly Once

we love or hate someone we can think back and remember

that first casual encounter But what of all the chance meet-

ings that nothing ever comes of While our bodies move

ever forward on the time line our minds continuously trace

backward seeking shape and meaning as deftly as any ar-

row seeking its mark


1 Lucy Grealy was a poet and every line of Autobiography of

a Face is beautiful which is amazing since a good portion

of this book takes place in a childrenrsquos cancer ward Be-

cause of her skills as a poet she is able to communicate

her emotions clearly and her observations are interesting



23


sharp and emotional but never overly sentimental She nev-

er takes cheap shots and this memoir makes you think

2 Her observations on beauty and self-consciousness man-

age to feel universal even though they obviously spring from

her personal situation

I was my face I was uglinessmdashthough sometimes unbearable

also offered a possible point of escape It became the launch-

ing pad from which to lift off the one immediately recogniz-

able place to point to when asked what was wrong with my

life Everything led to it everything receded from itmdashmy faceas personal vanishing point

While thankfully most people donrsquot have to suffer though

thirty-plus surgeries like Lucy Grealy (and if yoursquore not fa-

miliar with Grealy she sadly died of an accidental drug

overdose at the age of thirty-nine) I think itrsquos safe to say

that most of us at one time or another have been tempt-

ed to transfer the blame to some of lifersquos problems to our

appearances This is a universal feeling and Grealy artic-ulated it perfectly

3 She manages to be self-aware Toward the end of her mem-

oir she confesses to ldquotrying enlightenmentrdquo and failing She

goes through a period of understanding that chemo wasnrsquot

meant to be ldquoher punishmentrdquo and that maybe her face

was hers to serve a higher purpose But then later on when

a bone graft is reabsorbed and her face doesnrsquot take on

the more ldquonormalrdquo appearance she hopes it will she suf-fers another letdown Autobiography of a Face is real If this

memoir was neatly tied up with a positive ending I think it

might be hard to buy The author makes great strides and

has setbacksmdashitrsquos real life

THE GLASS CASTLE BY JEANNETTE WALLS

BASIC PREMISE

The author a successful journalist decided to tell her story of

growing up in extreme poverty and with parents who had very un-



24


usual ideas about how to raise their four children after she saw

her homeless mother digging for food in a dumpster while sittingin a taxi on the way to an industry event Wallsrsquo childhood was

marked by deprivation neglect and the further decline of their

family as her parents put their own false hopes and dreams be-

fore the needs of their children The family eventually ends up in

a West Virginia mining town but miraculously Walls and two of

her siblings manage to escape that lifestyle and make their way

to New York City

A TYPICAL MOMENT

Dad came home in the middle of the night a few months later

and roused all of us from bed ldquoTime to pull up the stakes and

leave this shit-hole behindrdquo he hollered We had fifteen min-

utes to gather whatever we needed and pile into the car ldquoIs

everything okay Dadrdquo I asked ldquoIs someone after usrdquo ldquoDonrsquot

you worryrdquo Dad said ldquoYou leave that to me Donrsquot I always take

care of yourdquo ldquorsquoCourse you dordquo I said ldquoThatrsquos my girlrdquo Dad

said with a hug then barked orders at us all to speed things

up He took the essentialsmdasha big black cast-iron skillet andthe Dutch oven some army-surplus tin plates a few knives his

pistol and Momrsquos archery setmdashand packed them in the trunk

of the Blue Goose He said we shouldnrsquot take much else just

what we needed to survive Mom hurried out to the yard and

started digging holes by the light of the moon looking for our

jar of cash She had forgotten where shersquod buried it


1 While I wouldnrsquot wish neglectful parents of any sort on any-

one Wallsrsquo parents are certainly more interesting than yourtypical neglectful parents They present a curious combina-

tion of ldquostreet smartsrdquomdashor whatever you would call the kind

of smarts that allow you to survive in the desertmdashand an ap-

preciation for art and intellect but they also completely lack

any sort of understanding of the basic needs of children

Itrsquos not that they come across as completely unloving but

as if theyrsquore missing one big piece of the parenting puzzle

2 The parentsrsquo larger-than-life stories give this memoir an al-most mythological feel Everything the parents set out to do



25


promises to be grand and tremendously exciting Nothing is

normal in this family The story of how Wallsrsquo parents met isa perfect example Everything about this story screams ldquotall

talerdquo Wallsrsquo mother walks up to a group of Air Force men who

are afraid to dive off a cliff She does a perfect swan dive Her

father decides to jump in after her as ldquoNo way in hell hersquod say

was he letting a fine broad like that get away from himrdquo And

he proceeds to do a ldquoparachute dive without a parachuterdquo

The story goes on that he told her he would marry her but

twenty-three men had already proposed She finally agreed

as he ldquowouldnrsquot take no for an answerrdquo Everything about this

couple is exaggerated and dramatic which may not make for

good parenting but does make for good reading

3 I wouldnrsquot say The Glass Castle is about a particularly lov-

ing family but there are times when you canrsquot help but get

swept up in their dynamic There are situations that would

scar a normal person for lifemdashboth the child and the parentmdash

that simply become another hilarious episode in this mem-

oir When the author actually falls out of her familyrsquos moving

car as a very young girl and is injured as she rolls down an

embankment left there to wonder if her family is ever com-

ing back for her her fatherrsquos comment when they finally do

come back for her is ldquoDamn honey you busted your snot

locker pretty goodrdquo The author describes how she told her

siblings and mother about the word ldquosnot lockerrdquo and how

they all thought it was as hilarious as she didrdquo Just another

funny moment in the Walls family

HOMEWORK

1 Read or Refamiliarize YourselfWith Best-Selling Memoirs

Ask yoursel what makes these memoirs avorites o yours Is it the voice Te structure Te way you connect to the author Why do

you think these particular memoirs had such a huge impact on a



26


large readership I one o these hit memoirs just isnrsquot your cup o

tea (which is totally okay by the way you canrsquot like everything) why

not What doesnrsquot work or you

2 Bigger Isnrsquot Always BetterSome o my avorite memoirs are not huge bestsellers Ask or rec-

ommendations rom riends booksellers or librarians (Librarians

are in act my avorite source or book recommendations Tey can

recommend truly based on their gut as they donrsquot have to worry

about selling books) Read these memoirs simply or pleasure and

enjoyment but with an eye or inspiration What do you like about

these works and how do they inspire you

3 Consider Joining or Startinga Memoir Reading Group

Since it can be difficult to carve out time or reading yet it remains

essential to your work to keep up to date on the memoirs that are in

the marketplace think about participating in a memoir-only read-

ing group Te deadline o the meeting will keep you ocused and

it can be helpul to hear other thoughts and opinions while yoursquore

working on a particular project Tis would also be a great way to

learn about other memoirs that you may not have heard o beore

REALITY CHECK I yoursquore thinking ldquoHey the only story Irsquom

really interested in is mine I just canrsquot be bothered to read any-

one elsersquosrdquo I urge you to reconsider While writing your mem-

oir obviously involves spending quite a bit o timed ocused

on the details o your lie donrsquot make the mistake o thinking

that other writers and their stories donrsquot have something to o-

er you Yoursquoll be doing yoursel a major disservice i you allow

your ego to drive the entire project and trust me your work

will suffer as a result



27


4 Start Jogging Down Memory Lane

Memoirs are obviously all about memories so get prepared to startdigging through the past Whether you are writing about some-

thing rom your childhood or an upcoming trip to the rain orest

your past is going to come into play as a memoir is ultimately the

story o who you are and how you came to be the person who is do-

ing something crazy like sleeping in the Amazon without a tent or

six months So donrsquot ool yoursel into thinking your past doesnrsquot

matter Spend some time sifing through photo albums old letters journals mementos whatever you have that might prove meaning-

ul While Irsquom not suggesting you need to go wild cataloging every

moment o your lie rom birth on it may be helpul to have rea-

sonable and organized access to items rom your past ake notes

about what you find You very well may find that a photograph will

lead you to other things It might remind you o a place you hadnrsquot

thought o in years a riend yoursquod like to reach out to and so orth

Many o these paths may prove helpul in the writing o your mem-

oir so keep careul track o where these thoughts take you

RECOMMENDED READING

Following is a list of best-selling and critically acclaimed memoirs

to get you started I did my best to include as many titles as I could

but it was impossible to cover them all There is also suggested

reading in the other chapters that talk about voice structure etc

and some of those big blockbuster memoirs that are a particularly

fine example of ldquovoicerdquo might be listed there as well Basically if

you choose to read some of the memoirs in the suggested read-

ing section of this chapter yoursquoll find yoursquove already done a good

portion of the suggested reading for the other chapters Irsquom always

on the lookout for a great memoir recommendation as I positively

hate the idea of missing out on a good one So please let me know

if you find a must-read memoir that I havenrsquot listed Please feel free

to e-mail any great finds to paulamorningmemoircom Also Irsquove



28


asked many of the memoirists whose books Irsquove mentioned to share

the title of their favorite memoir and to let us know what it is aboutthat title that inspired them Yoursquoll see their favorites mentioned

throughout the book

BEST983085SELLING AND CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED MEMOIRS

Angelarsquos Ashes by Frank McCourt

The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls

The Tender Bar by JR Moehringer

Manhattan When I Was Young by Mary Cantwell

Speaking With Strangers by Mary CantwellThe Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion

The Color of Water by James McBride

Night by Elie Wiesel

Drinking A Love Story by Caroline Knapp

Marley amp Me by John Grogan

Autobiography of a Face by Lucy Grealy

The Liarsrsquo Club by Mary Karr

Cherry by Mary Karr A Girl Named Zippy by Haven Kimmel

Tender at the Bone by Ruth Reichl

Comfort Me With Apples by Ruth Reichl

Dreams From My Father by Barack Obama

Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

Running With Scissors by Augusten Burroughs

Dry by Augusten Burroughs



CHAPTER TWO

Whatrsquos Your Hook

29

ithin a month of signing my appointment papers to become an

assistant professor of psychiatry at the University of California

Los Angeles I was well on my way to madness

mdashK983137983161 R983141983140983142983145983141983148983140 J983137983149983145983155983151983150 author of An Unquiet Mind

Kay Redfield Jamison is both a proessor o psychiatry at Johns

Hopkins University School o Medicine and suffers rom severemanic-depressive illness hersel She writes about her struggles with

the disease as shersquos starting out her medical career in her best-sell-

ing memoir An Unquiet Mind A mentally ill psychiatrist Tis is

whatrsquos known in publishing as ldquothe hookrdquo A hook is that certain

something that makes your book marketable Itrsquos an element that

is utterly unique to your story It is memorable compelling some-

times controversial and appealing to the media Jamisonrsquos hook ispoetic and ironic while others may be tragic inspiring shocking

unnymdashor may eature a special setting show off someonersquos un-

usual ability or demonstrate survival against all odds Your hook

is going to capture the readerrsquos attention and enable you to lure her

in but it is your job as a writer to keep her captured with your story

and your writing style

While not every memoirist can be the sole survivor o an air-plane crash a popular 1970s child star or a mafia princess ear

not this doesnrsquot mean your story doesnrsquot have a hook A hook isnrsquot

W



30


necessarily about surviving an ill-ated climb on Mount Everest or

spending a year traveling around the French countryside on a bi-

cycle Finding your hook is about presenting your story in a mar-

ketable and interesting ashion that best displays your skills and

strengths as a writer

A DIVORCE IS A DIVORCEAND IS STILL A DIVORCE

While a good hook can give resh energy and put a new spin on atopic that may seem amiliar it is important to note that the under-

lying theme o your memoir and your hook are not necessarily the

same thing While the distinction between the two can be subtle

a clear understanding o them can make the difference between

writing ldquo just another divorce memoirrdquo and the next Eat Pray Love

Te key here is learning to tune in to those tiny clues honing in on

the unique set o details that make your divorce memoir love storylie with an autistic child or career change memoir different rom

everyone elsersquos but at the same time managing to capture that uni-

versal eeling that people in similar circumstances experience Tis

magical combination results in a story that is both new and relatable

at the same time In other words the hook takes things a step ur-

ther by building elements onto your theme that are meaningul to

you and you alone but still appealing to readers interested in yourtopic Be sure to keep the ollowing key points in mind as we take

a closer look at the hooks and themes o some popular memoirs to

see how some authors use a hook to play up common themes such

as divorce travel ood spirituality and survival

The Good Hook Checklist

bull A good hook brings something new to the table bull A hook goes beyond the theme o the memoir

bull A hook can be summed up in a sentence or two



31


bull Te right hook is provocative and memorable

bull A hook can be described with three key words

A ROUNDUP OF GOOD HOOKS

Now that wersquore all clear on the elements o a good hook letrsquos take

a closer look at what makes up the hook in some recent memoirs

Remember it takes some practice but soon you should be spotting

a good hook or a book in no time at all


THEMES Divorce Travel Spirituality Food

THE HOOK After a painful divorce the author sets out to find the

opposite of what shersquos feeling by devoting one year specifically to

pleasure prayer and love She travels to three distinctly different

locales to immerse herself in these pursuits Can a heartbroken

and confused woman purposely set out to find pleasure peaceand even love

WHATrsquoS UNUSUAL ABOUT IT Shersquos taking the reader along on her

quest to heal and she doesnrsquot have a clue whatrsquos going to happen

Shersquos going about her healing in an unexpected way and with the

three portions of her quest being somewhat contrary Shersquos also

deciding that she wants to feel happy and is constructing a trip

solely with that end in mind which is the opposite approach of sim-

ilar memoirs such as An Italian Affair and Under the Tuscan Sun

CHERRIES IN WINTER BY SUZAN COLON

THEMES Family Food Hard Times Inspiration

THE HOOK After losing a high-powered and glamorous job at a

magazine the author realized she had to cut way back when it

came to spending money Her mother suggested that she look

through her grandmotherrsquos file for some money-saving recipe

ideas which led to a discovery that was more helpful than just a



32


stash of recipes for clam chowder and beef stew Colon soon re-

alized that in addition to recipes for comfort food she had alsostumbled upon her familyrsquos ldquoreciperdquo for surviving hard times

WHATrsquoS UNUSUAL ABOUT IT Rather than plunging into ldquowoe is

merdquo mode about how she can no longer afford designer shoes

and handbags this magazine editor decides to take action and

plunge directly into a sweet (both figuratively and literally) and

moving family history


THEMES Illness Survival

THE HOOK The author spent many years of her life from ear-

ly childhood on being treated for a rare form of cancer that left

her disfigured In addition to physical recovery Grealyrsquos rich and

complicated fantasy life helped her with an even more difficult

emotional recovery that she brilliantly chronicles in her highly re-garded memoir

WHATrsquoS UNUSUAL ABOUT IT This isnrsquot simply an ldquoI conquered can-

cerrdquo story but a complicated tale of coming to terms with appear-

ance in a time where beauty counts for everything Grealyrsquos story of

learning that beauty comes from within borders on heroic

Tese are just three examples o memoirs where a common ordi-nary situation is brought to lie by sparkling details It is also im-

portant to note that these authors like other successul memoirists

managed to avoid common pitalls that can make the most rivet-

ing story painul to read Wersquoll talk more about voice in chapter

five but keep in mind that no one wants to read a book-length rant

about how much you hate your job or a bitter tale o a marriage

gone wrong Tese hooks are also clear Once you understand whatthey are they are careully executed throughout the entirety o the

memoir Tey donrsquot flow off in a million different directions nor do



33


they stop midway leaving the reader without any closure Be sure

to avoid the ollowing pitalls when working out your hook

Common Hook Pitfalls bull Mistaking bitterness or anger or passionmdashitrsquos not a reason

to write a book

bull A hook that isnrsquot relatable to readers

bull A hook that takes too long to build or starts too late in the story

bull A hook that is too complicated or ollows too many differ-ent paths

bull A hook that doesnrsquot ollow through to the end o the story

Hooks of All KindsmdashWhere Does Your Story FallWhile most memoirs tend to all into one o the ollowing catego-

ries I dare say itrsquos possible that every once in a blue moon yoursquollencounter one that (gasp) just might all somewhere outside the

general parameters o what Irsquom outlining below I you find your

memoir isnrsquot a perect fit but more o a hybrid therersquos no need to

panic What Irsquom outlining is meant to be more o a general guide-

linemdashthere are no hard and ast rules here While some memoirs

will certainly blur the lines between categories every memoir

can have its essence boiled down to a sentence or two and thatrsquosreally what Irsquom talking about when I say ldquohookrdquo Herersquos a closer

look at what kinds o memoirs yoursquore going to find on the shel at

your local bookstore

Travel Memoirs and Spiritual Questsravel memoirs take the reader along on a journey whether it be to

a picnic in the Italian countryside a caeacute in Greenwich Village inthe 1950s or to a spiritual retreat in India While many memoirs

ocus on rich landscapes and everything the location has to offermdash





35


oirs ender at the Bone Comort Me With Apples and Garlic and

Sapphires are classic examples o a womanrsquos love affair with ood

Anthony Bourdain while equally enamored with ood chose to ex-

press his love in a different ashion in his mega-bestseller Kitchen

Confidential Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly He reely toss-

es around the -word talks about heavy drinking sex in inappro-

priate places childish pranks and the horrors o spoiled mussels

Bourdainrsquos candid take on the restaurant world shows that there

is plenty o room or different voices in this genre Laurie Colwinrsquosbeloved Home Cooking A Writer in the Kitchen and More Home

Cooking A Writer Returns to the Kitchen are examples o memoirs

you will reer to again and again And Patricia Volkrsquos Stuffed Ad-

ventures o a Restaurant Family shows a slightly more wholesome

but equally character-driven side o restaurant lie to the one An-

thony Bourdain shows us in his memoir

Irsquoll Take You There MemoirsHave you ever wondered how well you would are as a stripper Is

swinging around on that pole as easy as it looks Could you ollow

the Old estament word or word or a week much less an entire

year And i you did would you be a better person because o it

ldquoIrsquoll ake You Tererdquo memoirs are ofen unny always entertaining

and take the reader to a place they wouldnrsquot normally dare go on

their own Tey sometimes have a ldquoyear in the lierdquo quality but by

no means limit the writer to any particular time rame Tey invite

the reader into a new world providing an inside look at places the

average person would never normally have an opportunity to go

Diablo Codyrsquos Candy Girl A Year in the Lie o an Unlikely Stripper

showed that the inner workings o strip clubs (the strippers includ-

ed) are more complex than anyone could have ever imagined AJJacobrsquos Te Year o Living Biblically One Manrsquos Humble Quest to

Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible was ull o surprises (eating



36


crickets) and made some very unexpected stops along the way in-

cluding Appalachia and Amish country

I Will Survive MemoirsSome o the most successul memoirs in recent years all into a

category that could be described as the ldquoI Will Surviverdquo category

Tese memoirs deliver a message and capture the reader with pow-

erul stories o sel-discovery soul-searching healing survival and

courage Memoirs that all into this section grab you by the heart

and donrsquot let go While many o these memoirs are ultimately com-

ortingmdashthe journey is ofen defined by someone elsersquos pain Many

such memoirs eature stories o abuse addiction death and ill-

ness but they also bring something else to the table that shows the

reader that there is a light at the end o the tunnel Jeannette Wallrsquos

astonishing climb rom a childhood defined by deprivation to a

stable lie on New York Cityrsquos Park Avenue is depicted with grace

and candor in Te Glass Castle Kelly Corriganrsquos Te Middle Place

manages to tell the story o her cancer as well as her atherrsquos ter-

minal illness with charm and humormdashshowing us that being part

o a big boisterous amily does actually make some o liersquos bigger

challenges a little bit easier to manage And while I didnrsquot actually

think I would make it through the first chapter o Kate Braestruprsquos

Here I You Need Me (so heartbreaking was her story o becoming

an accidental minister afer her husband was struck and killed by

a car while on duty as a state trooper in Maine) ultimately I was

able to make it past her raw writings on grie as her take on amily

and spirituality proved incredibly comorting and her story came

through miraculously without any clicheacutes Stories in this category

can be tough to pull off (see comment about clicheacutes) and obvious-

ly require having encountered a particularly tough set o circum-stances As is the case in all memoirs strong writing is essential

even i in this category it may be tempting to lean on the readerrsquos



37


sympathymdashdoing so may result in a tedious read rather than one

that people ultimately find inspiring

Love and Relationship MemoirsLove and relationships have always provided rich material or mem-

oirs and while you will certainly find your standard memoirs about

romance among the titles here I promise this category will exceed

your expectations One o the most moving relationship stories I

have read in recent years was not one o love gone wrong but o the

ups and downs o emale riendship In her memoir ruth amp Beauty Ann Patchett ollows her riendship with writer and cancer survi-

vor Lucy Grealy (hersel the author o the highly regarded memoir

Autobiography o a Face) as they struggle with Grealyrsquos ame drug

addiction and suicidal tendencies Tis is a story about devotion as

much as it is a memorial to Grealy who died in 2002 Susan Rich-

ardsrsquo Chosen by a Horse is the charming and inspiring love story

o both a broken woman and a broken horse When Richards metldquoLay Me Downrdquo the horse was a messmdashabused sick and malnour-

ished Against her better judgment Richards ound hersel alling

in love and learning more than she could have imagined about love

lie and relationships rom this most unlikely o teachers Tere is

nothing wrong with an old-ashioned textbook style romance just

know that there are many kinds o relationships to write about and

many different love stories worthy o telling

Memoirs of ExplorationMemoirs that ocus on explorations tend to have an investigational

element Te author might be ollowing a amily secretmdashinvestigat-

ing a part o her lie that until recently she never knew existed as

Bliss Broyard does in her memoir about her atherrsquos secret Arican-

American roots in One Drop As a practicing psychiatrist and lead-ing authority in the field o bipolar disorder Kay Redfield Jamison

is in a very unique position to explore her mental illness and write



38


about it rom a perspective o courage and understanding in her

memoir An Unquiet Mind Stephen Kingrsquos wonderully insightul

On Writing is not only a helpul primer about the basics o writing

but an interesting look at the journey rom ordinary struggling

writer to amous writer (who nevertheless still finds himsel grap-

pling with some o the very same issues) Memoirs that all into

this category cover a wide range o subjects but also tend to have a

narrative thread Tis means that in addition to writing about the

sel there is ofen another topic that the author is covering as well

which can be anything rom race and identity the craf o writing

or as wersquove seen with Jamison mental health

MEMOIRISTS SHARE THEIR FAVORITE MEMOIRS

SUZAN COLON AUTHOR OF CHERRIES IN WINTER

I love Caroline Knapprsquos Drinking A Love Story for her silken ar-

ticulation of rough murky emotions Mary Cantwellrsquos vivid word-

paintings of the past in Manhattan When I Was Young and Anne

Lamottrsquos ability to be funny about potentially unfunny subjects in

Traveling Mercies Some Thoughts on Faith

Break Your Story Into Key Memory PiecesNow that wersquove had a chance to review the different categories

o hooks and discuss the basic differences between hooks andthemes we can start digging into your memoir and see what hook-

worthy gems just might be lying in wake But figuring out how to

find these gems can be challenging and the process and can eel a

bit like backpedaling Afer countless conversations cups o co-

ee and extended e-mail exchanges with authors Irsquove ound that

more ofen than not the hook was there all along the author just

didnrsquot know it Hooks are ofen buried in too many detailsmdashex-tra stories and anecdotes or reluctance to cut out a story because

it involves a beloved riend or amily member It has been my



39


experience that authors have their ldquoah-hardquo moments about their

memoirs while they are breaking down their stories clearing out

the clutter and closely examining the pieces that are lef to work

with Tis process can be done at any stage in the game wheth-

er you have already completed a section o your memoir and are

concerned that your memoir doesnrsquot differentiate itsel enough

rom what else is already out there or i you are working with

various sections jotted down memories journal pieces charac-

ter sketches time lines o events etc Te idea is to get all o the

pieces o your work in one place and take a very close and critical

look at what you have One o most daunting parts o the memoir

writing process is stepping back rom your story and looking at

it rom a different perspectivemdashthe perspective o someone who

has not had the same experiences as you You need to ldquobreak the

story downrdquo and decide which pieces are crucial and which you

can do without Prepare to either mark your manuscript accord-ingly or catalog the pieces you have as items that will stay or go

Some questions to ask yoursel are

bull Will this section be interesting to others

bull Is this character necessary to the larger story Am I only keep-

ing this person in my memoir or sentimental reasons Do

they really need to be here

bull Does this piece fit within the larger story Irsquom trying to tell

bull Is this section too long Am I rambling

bull Is the amount o detail I have distracting rom the greater story

Put pieces that simply do not fit into your memoir in your ideas

file I yoursquore concerned that certain sections are rambling but can

still be used in the memoir mark them and plan to edit them later

Donrsquot let yoursel get distracted by editing right now Te idea isto go through every single section and decide what stays and what

goes By taking the time to pare back your story and limit it to the



40


most vibrant and essential details a pattern will emerge that is ofen

the beginning o the ever-coveted hook What direction are these

pieces taking you Are they leading you to the original place you

thought you were going or somewhere slightly different Were you

surprised to discover that while your ex-boyriend didnrsquot play a role

in your memoir about going to culinary school your grandmother

actually did Did you stumble upon stories that ultimately mattered

much more than you initially thought Were you surprised by your

beautiul descriptions o rural Mexico or your mouth-watering de-

scription o chocolate ondue Tese remaining sections are your

key memory pieces and provide important insight when it comes

to narrowing down your hook Key memory pieces are those sur-

prising little sections that cause you to pause and actually reflect

on a memory or a moment or two Have you ever wondered why

it sometimes takes an entire afernoon to clean out a closet or just

a drawer What initially sounds like a simple task inevitably turns

into a long winding road trip down memory lane Tatrsquos exactly

the kind o journey wersquore talking about here Tose unexpected

emotional jolts ofen hold hidden keys to parts o your story that

need to be highlighted

QUICK TIP I highly recommend starting an ldquoideas filerdquo since

as most writers know something you toss today ofen saves

your ass tomorrow So donrsquot be araid to put an idea aside or later You have to make a vow right now to be honest with

yoursel Be ruthless at this stage in the game and toss stuff

that doesnrsquot work or this project Even i it just so happens

that you had one o the most ascinating birthday parties in

the history o ten-year-old birthday parties itrsquos not helping

your cause i your memoir is about the Peace Corps Put this

in your ideas file and orget about it or now Your memoirwill thank you



41


Mining the Tiny Treasure Trove

for Hook-Worthy GemsYoursquove eliminated the fluff dutiully put all o the stories about

your opera loving dog and senior prom into your ideas file and

convinced yoursel that your jerk ex-boyriend has no place in a

memoir about your move rom the corporate world to culinary

school Well done So what are you to do with these scraps o pa-

per journal entries notes and chapters Now itrsquos time to sit down

grab a notebook and pencil and take a closer look at what you havelef I recommend devoting one page o your notebook to each o

the major themes that your memoir contains Because these pag-

es become so richly filled with bright ideas or hooks I call them

tiny treasure troves Never underestimate the power o the small-

est memory to become the biggest o ideas For instance i yoursquore

writing about leaving corporate America afer a divorce to open a

bakery with your sister the pages o your notebook may includeFOOD SURVIVAL DIVORCE and FAMILY Now look careully

through your key memory pieces Where do these pieces belong and

what do they inspire Catalog each key memory on the appropri-

ate page and see where this leads It is very likely that you will see

a pattern developingmdashsomething that you may not have realized

was there until now Perhaps the FAMILY REASURE ROVE has

twenty items about sisterhood including several hilarious stories

that you hadnrsquot realized were so colorul and un to read Once you

have cataloged your key memory pieces read through your treasure

troves and consider the ollowing

bull Does one o my key memory pieces inspire me to shif my ocus

bull Does one o my key memory pieces eature a person who plays

a key role in the story bull Is there an unexpected emotional element that keeps making

an appearance



42


bull Is one o the key memories a special setting or place that can

provide a backdrop or a memoir

bull Have I personally experienced something unusual or unique

that I can relay to others

bull Is one o the key memories adding an element to a common

theme that no one has used beore

Tis boiled-down cleaner version o your work can now be used as

a resh starting point and you can prepare to start building your

memoir up with the personal touches that a good hook gives a mem-oir in the ollowing set o exercises

Final FlourishesYoursquove determined the main ingredients necessary to tell your

story and have a clearer idea o where your hook might take you

While you shouldnrsquot let our hook take over the driving completely

you should let it guide you and help keep you on track Now thatyoursquore more amiliar with the most common types o memoirs

understand the difference between themes and hooks have gath-

ered your key memory pieces and have been mining the tiny trea-

sure troves you should be able to see your material within a new

context and eel ready to start working using your new oundation

Your hook is a building blockmdasha spine rom which to build and

let your story flourish Perhaps during the course o this chapteryoursquove discovered that your memoir is really more about riend-

ship than romance or maybe you now see that your strength as

a writer is ound in your descriptions o the places yoursquove seen

rather than your stories o the things yoursquove done Are your sto-

ries about cooking your grandmotherrsquos recipes the crown jewels

in your collection Have you decided that itrsquos the year you spent

in Arica that you want to ocus on Or are you planning to dustoff the stories about how you lef the mild Midwest or the wild

world o New York City book publishing Now that you discovered



43


your core story the one with the extraordinary standout qualities

that will make the reader select your book rom all o the others

on the shel yoursquore ready to get to work

QUICK TIP Once yoursquove identified your hook set up a mar-

keting file and start to keep track o any blogs magazines

journals support groups interest groups clubs or websites

that pertain to your topic Come publication time this file

will become invaluable to marketing your book You can plan

to target all o these places prior to your memoirrsquos publica-

tion and provide any inormation about readings author ap-

pearances book group discussions interviews etc Remember

publishers love a marketing savvy author More on market-

ing in chapter eleven

EXERCISE 1

WRITE YOUR OWN FLAP COPYGood flap copy and catalog copy is so essential to a bookrsquos success

that publishers often begin working on it before a manuscript is even

completed Flap copy and catalog copy are incredibly important mar-

keting tools and must provide the sales team with exciting and memo-

rable descriptions of a book that also manage to be clear and concise

So as you might imagine a good hook is crucial when pitching new

titles to a book buyer With this in mind carefully read the flap copy ofthree of your favorite memoirs How does the description hold up with

your perception of what the memoir is about Do you now look at your

favorite memoir from a different perspective Take a stab at writing the

flap copy for your memoir Since flap copy must give potential readers

a sense of the story its tone and the overall direction of the book in a

very limited amount of space the publisher generally relies on the hook

to capture the essence of the story What did you discover when you

boiled your story down to a few paragraphs How does your flap copy

compare to that of some of your favorite memoirs Does this sound like

a book yoursquod like to read



44


EXERCISE 2

PUSH YOUR THEME TO THE LIMITWhile the theme or topic for any given book may be fairly general your

hook will add that extra something special that truly makes the work your

memoir To find these extra elements you may need to push yourself to

the limit Start by listing ten things that are unique about your situation

Nothing is too crazymdashso donrsquot be afraid if what yoursquore writing down initially

seems like it might be off topic What makes your divorce different from

your neighborrsquos What makes your bout with cancer different from every-

one elsersquos Keep in mind that the answers donrsquot always have to be literal

or terribly deep Your husband told you he was leaving you via FacebookYes that is definitely something to note You didnrsquot have to have a life-

altering epiphany while undergoing chemotherapy but if you bonded with

the sweet child in the next room and that gave you the strength to go on

yes Please tell us more about that What else is on your list What range

of emotions does your list hit Is it funnier or sadder than you anticipated

Is there something there that would make an especially good hook

EXERCISE 3

SHIFT YOUR FOCUSSometimes you can highlight your hook by simply shifting your focus onto

a different part of your story Elizabeth Gilbertrsquos Eat Pray Love would have

taken on a completely different feeling if the book had started off on her

wedding day and had included the ups and downs of her marriage and

Joan Didionrsquos The Year of Magical Thinking might have lacked itrsquos initial

dramatic punch had it not opened on the night of her husbandrsquos death

but instead began earlier in their relationship Select five different start-ing points for your memoir Make a list of the key plot points from the five

new starting positions How does this change the scope of your story

Which key components change What track does the memoir follow when

starting from different positions How does each new story feel Where

does each story end if you start from a different position

EXERCISE 4

WHAT KEEPS YOU UP AT NIGHTFinding your hook often takes time persistence and patiencemdashand

sometimes you have to listen to the little voice in your head that just



45


wonrsquot shut up I canrsquot tell you how many book ideas have been born from

my simply asking a desperate author ldquoSo what keeps you up at nightrdquo

If something is keeping you up or even distracting you during the dayitrsquos obviously important and worth exploring Keep a notebook with you

and start to note any ideas no matter how crazy or obscure any time

these pesky thoughts cross your mind If you find yourself daydreaming

about ldquochocolaterdquo or ldquochampagnerdquo maybe these words will steer you in

the right direction Ditto travel If yoursquore dreaming about ldquomapsrdquo maybe

this is an interesting tangent to explore Donrsquot be afraid to break your

subject down further You never know what other interesting subtopics

you might find and the perfect hook could be right around the corner

REALITY CHECK Are you relying on your hook or too much

Remember while a hook is essential or marketing your book

properly it is possible to lean on your hook too much Even i

you have a truly antastic one-o-a-kind story substance must

ollow the hook Are you ollowing through with quality writ-

ing and a well thought-out story A good hook is completely

useless without these essential elements

RECOMMENDED READING

MEMOIRS WITH GOOD HOOKS

Edithrsquos Story by Edith Velmans

An Unquiet Mind by Kay Redfield Jamison

Girl Interrupted by Susanna KaysenThe Tenth Muse by Judith Jones

The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch

The Big House by George Howe Colt

Another Life by Michael Korda

One Drop by Bliss Broyard



CHAPTER THREE

Setting Your Parameters

T

46

finished getting dinner I set the table in the living room where

when we were home alone we could eat within sight of the fire I

find myself stressing the fire because fires were important to us

I grew up in California John and I lived there together for twenty-

four years in California we heated our houses by building fires We built

fires even on summer evenings because the fog came in Fires said we

were home we had drawn the circle we were safe through the night I lit

the candles John asked for a second drink before sitting down I gaveit to him We sat down My attention was on mixing the salad John was

talking then he wasnrsquot

mdashfrom The Year of Magical Thinking by J983151983137983150 D983145983140983145983151983150

Joan Didionrsquos award-winning memoir Te Year o Magical Tinking

begins not ends with death It is the sudden loss o her husband

that launches her into the ldquoyear o magical thinkingrdquo Tis unex-

pected event provided a clear beginning to what was the most laud-ed and arguably most moving memoir o the year Te story started

the second her husbandrsquos lie endedmdashat that very moment the first

ldquoparameterrdquo o the story was (very tragically) set When attempt-

ing to translate a significant portion o your liersquos story it is crucial

when dealing with a vast amount o materialmdashan entire lietime o

memoriesmdashthat you set limits early on and decide which portion o

your lie will prove to be the most colorul provocative and repre-sentative o the story you wish to tell I limits arenrsquot set early in the

writing process a story can easily get out o control meander and

I



47


become completely disorganized As you now know rom chapter

one you are writing a memoir not an autobiography A well-crafed

memoir will encapsulate a specific story that fits somewhere within

the larger ramework o your lie Tis chapter is about building that

ramework or setting the parameters o your story

Tankully not all memoirs are written under such dark cir-

cumstances (although i you are an avid reader o memoirs you

know by now that a good number o them are) and the sudden and

dramatic death o Didionrsquos husband provided an obvious begin-

ning to her story But do all memoirs have such clear starting and

or that matter ending points Unless your story started when you

received an unpleasant diagnosis the day your spouse lef ormdashon

the brighter side o thingsmdashwhen you won several hundred million

dollars in the lottery memoirs ofen start with more o a whimper

than a bang Ditto endings Some memoirs end with complete res-

olution some leave us at a comortable middle point while others

leave us hanging a bit How do you know when to end a story that

may very well be still going on

Setting your parameters isnrsquot about blowing your reader away

with a gripping first page (wersquoll get to that later) or wrapping up a

complicated memoir with a perectly poetic ending but about sort-

ing out your story beore you find yoursel buried in so many de-

tailsmdashmemories ideas acts tangents anecdotesmdashthat you canrsquot

dig yoursel back out Without having a clear ramework in mind

beore you start to tell your story you are at risk o losing sight o the

entire reason you started to write your memoir in the first place

DONrsquoT GO SEARCHINGFOR SOMETHING THAT ISNrsquoT THERE

Yoursquore writing about your bucolic upbringing in a small town inIowa where everyone loved each other and you went on to college

even though you were dirt poor and didnrsquot have shoes until you



48


were fifeen and then afer winning a ootball scholarship you be-

came the town doctor beloved by all who married his high school

sweetheart and eventually had our kids who were even more won-

derul and noble than you Should you start digging through your

amily files to see i you had any aunts who might have lived in the

attic or a spell Or ask around to see i yoursquore related to any devil

worshippers or ax murders Do you need to get arrested in order to

make your memoir marketable No and NO Te parameters you

set or your story can be very personal and subtle or they may be

big and unmistakable Tis isnrsquot about drama you just need to keep

your ocus and work within the boundaries yoursquove chosen I yoursquove

decided that our years in the lie o a small town doctor will make a

great memoir there is nothing wrong with opening your story with

a scene rom your waiting room It doesnrsquot need to be the scene o

a grizzly accident Itrsquos about making the decision to start you story

at a certain point and stick with it Te key here is finding a start-

ing point and setting that first parameter in a way that fits the tone

voice and style o the memoir you are writing Keep the ollowing

points in mind as you think about why some memoirist may have

chosen to start and end their memoirs where they did

The Good Parameter Checklist

bull Good parameters will help to keep your memoir ocused andorganized

bull Good parameters will add to the story by creating an appro-

priate anchor rom which your story will begin and end

bull Good parameters will fit in with the story you are telling

bull Good parameters will provide a provocative or engaging be-

ginning and a satisying ending point

bull Good parameters will help you determine which stories touse in your memoir and which should be put aside or an-

other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls

bull Te dreaded ldquoI was bornrdquomdashwersquove been over this but itrsquos worthbringing up again

bull Starting or ending with a story that isnrsquot immediately relat-

able to the rest o the book

bull Starting with a character who wonrsquot be seen again until much

later in the book

bull Starting or ending with a story because o its sentimental

valuemdashnot because o its value to the memoir as a whole

QUICK TIP When we talk about setting parameters and fig-

uring out ldquowhenrdquo yoursquore story begins please note that Irsquom not

talking in a hit-the-ground-running first page o your book

kind o way Just remember this is a means o controlling the

vast amount o material yoursquove accumulated over a lietime

I it works out as a literal beginning greatmdashi not thatrsquos completely fine

FINDING YOUR MOMENT OF DISCOVERY

You understand the genre yoursquore working in yoursquove pulled out your

key memory pieces and yoursquove determined what your memoirrsquos

hook is going to be Now you need to be sure you can place allo this material within a reasonable structure How does a writer

decide where to begin when a lie story is so ull o laughter con-

versations riendships adventures tragedies and just day-to-day

memories Knowing how to literally begin telling a story is a huge

challenge or any writermdashwhether your story begins the day you

leapt out o an airplane or whether your story starts more subtly

such as when you began to realize that your marriage was over Doyou start with a description o what you were thinking Or maybe

you start with the conversation you had with your husband when




you woke up that day Maybe your story started while you were

watching the clock while waiting or your husband to come home

on your anniversarymdashor maybe it was the day he stopped asking

you i you wanted a second cup o coffee Regardless o the amount

o drama surrounding your personal story itrsquos important that as a

memoiristmdasha person recording your own personal historymdashthat

you manage to take a step back and recognize when it was that your

own personal journey began Tis is your moment o discovery and

it sets the first parameter o your memoir I realize this sounds a

bit grand but I promise itrsquos not as dramatic as it seems and think-

ing along these lines when planning your memoir will prove to be

incredibly helpul

ldquoYour dog is in the elevatorrdquoTese six simple words changed writer Abigail Tomasrsquos lie or-

ever Afer her doorman told her ldquoyour dog is in the elevatorrdquo she

quickly learned that her husband who was out walking the dog

had been hit by a car and had sustained a traumatic brain injury

Her memoir A Tree Dog Lie is a moving and eloquent account

o her lie with a man who lives in the continual present While

Irsquom sure the author wishes she had never heard those words it is

her skill as a memoirist that enables her to recognize them as a

ldquomoment o discoveryrdquo It was that sentence that signaled the be-

ginning o her new lie as difficult as it may be Te moment o

discovery is the key moment signaling that the memoiristrsquos story

has begun Tomas recalls the moment she heard those words

very accurately

Monday April 24 at nine forty at night our doorman Pedro called me on

the intercom ldquoYour dog is in the elevatorrdquo he said The world had just

changed forever and I think I knew it even then

I think what makes Tomasrsquos moment o discovery so astonish



Chapter Title

writingampselling your

memoir

PAULA BALZER












publicationscom

15 14 13 12 11 5 4 3 2 1




el (905) 877-4411






el (02) 4577-3555






































1























I

INTRODUCTION




2




































3







be amiliar with

























Introduction



4






























PART ONE



































CHAPTER ONE


6




















T



7
























KEY DIFFERENCE 1






8






























with any remorse



9


KEY DIFFERENCE 2


























10

























this problem are

bull voice

bull ormat

bull style


bull relatability





11


BEFORE YOU BEGIN





























12
































13















play o your lie














nect with you



14


































15






















BASIC PREMISE












16




A TYPICAL MOMENT































17



























BASIC PREMISE








18











A TYPICAL MOMENT
















bit of protection









19

























BASIC PREMISE












20


A TYPICAL MOMENT






























BASIC PREMISE





21








A TYPICAL MOMENT
















tually was















22



to her husband





family as well


BASIC PREMISE







A TYPICAL MOMENT





















23






























BASIC PREMISE





24









to New York City

A TYPICAL MOMENT



























25




























HOMEWORK






26































27


















RECOMMENDED READING
















28




throughout the book






















CHAPTER TWO


29




















W



30





























31
































32






























33





to write a book






















35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately
















publicationscom

15 14 13 12 11 5 4 3 2 1




el (905) 877-4411






el (02) 4577-3555






































1























I

INTRODUCTION




2




































3







be amiliar with

























Introduction



4






























PART ONE



































CHAPTER ONE


6




















T



7
























KEY DIFFERENCE 1






8






























with any remorse



9


KEY DIFFERENCE 2


























10

























this problem are

bull voice

bull ormat

bull style


bull relatability





11


BEFORE YOU BEGIN





























12
































13















play o your lie














nect with you



14


































15






















BASIC PREMISE












16




A TYPICAL MOMENT































17



























BASIC PREMISE








18











A TYPICAL MOMENT
















bit of protection









19

























BASIC PREMISE












20


A TYPICAL MOMENT






























BASIC PREMISE





21








A TYPICAL MOMENT
















tually was















22



to her husband





family as well


BASIC PREMISE







A TYPICAL MOMENT





















23






























BASIC PREMISE





24









to New York City

A TYPICAL MOMENT



























25




























HOMEWORK






26































27


















RECOMMENDED READING
















28




throughout the book






















CHAPTER TWO


29




















W



30





























31
































32






























33





to write a book






















35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately






































1























I

INTRODUCTION




2




































3







be amiliar with

























Introduction



4






























PART ONE



































CHAPTER ONE


6




















T



7
























KEY DIFFERENCE 1






8






























with any remorse



9


KEY DIFFERENCE 2


























10

























this problem are

bull voice

bull ormat

bull style


bull relatability





11


BEFORE YOU BEGIN





























12
































13















play o your lie














nect with you



14


































15






















BASIC PREMISE












16




A TYPICAL MOMENT































17



























BASIC PREMISE








18











A TYPICAL MOMENT
















bit of protection









19

























BASIC PREMISE












20


A TYPICAL MOMENT






























BASIC PREMISE





21








A TYPICAL MOMENT
















tually was















22



to her husband





family as well


BASIC PREMISE







A TYPICAL MOMENT





















23






























BASIC PREMISE





24









to New York City

A TYPICAL MOMENT



























25




























HOMEWORK






26































27


















RECOMMENDED READING
















28




throughout the book






















CHAPTER TWO


29




















W



30





























31
































32






























33





to write a book






















35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







2




































3







be amiliar with

























Introduction



4






























PART ONE



































CHAPTER ONE


6




















T



7
























KEY DIFFERENCE 1






8






























with any remorse



9


KEY DIFFERENCE 2


























10

























this problem are

bull voice

bull ormat

bull style


bull relatability





11


BEFORE YOU BEGIN





























12
































13















play o your lie














nect with you



14


































15






















BASIC PREMISE












16




A TYPICAL MOMENT































17



























BASIC PREMISE








18











A TYPICAL MOMENT
















bit of protection









19

























BASIC PREMISE












20


A TYPICAL MOMENT






























BASIC PREMISE





21








A TYPICAL MOMENT
















tually was















22



to her husband





family as well


BASIC PREMISE







A TYPICAL MOMENT





















23






























BASIC PREMISE





24









to New York City

A TYPICAL MOMENT



























25




























HOMEWORK






26































27


















RECOMMENDED READING
















28




throughout the book






















CHAPTER TWO


29




















W



30





























31
































32






























33





to write a book






















35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







3







be amiliar with

























Introduction



4






























PART ONE



































CHAPTER ONE


6




















T



7
























KEY DIFFERENCE 1






8






























with any remorse



9


KEY DIFFERENCE 2


























10

























this problem are

bull voice

bull ormat

bull style


bull relatability





11


BEFORE YOU BEGIN





























12
































13















play o your lie














nect with you



14


































15






















BASIC PREMISE












16




A TYPICAL MOMENT































17



























BASIC PREMISE








18











A TYPICAL MOMENT
















bit of protection









19

























BASIC PREMISE












20


A TYPICAL MOMENT






























BASIC PREMISE





21








A TYPICAL MOMENT
















tually was















22



to her husband





family as well


BASIC PREMISE







A TYPICAL MOMENT





















23






























BASIC PREMISE





24









to New York City

A TYPICAL MOMENT



























25




























HOMEWORK






26































27


















RECOMMENDED READING
















28




throughout the book






















CHAPTER TWO


29




















W



30





























31
































32






























33





to write a book






















35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







4






























PART ONE



































CHAPTER ONE


6




















T



7
























KEY DIFFERENCE 1






8






























with any remorse



9


KEY DIFFERENCE 2


























10

























this problem are

bull voice

bull ormat

bull style


bull relatability





11


BEFORE YOU BEGIN





























12
































13















play o your lie














nect with you



14


































15






















BASIC PREMISE












16




A TYPICAL MOMENT































17



























BASIC PREMISE








18











A TYPICAL MOMENT
















bit of protection









19

























BASIC PREMISE












20


A TYPICAL MOMENT






























BASIC PREMISE





21








A TYPICAL MOMENT
















tually was















22



to her husband





family as well


BASIC PREMISE







A TYPICAL MOMENT





















23






























BASIC PREMISE





24









to New York City

A TYPICAL MOMENT



























25




























HOMEWORK






26































27


















RECOMMENDED READING
















28




throughout the book






















CHAPTER TWO


29




















W



30





























31
































32






























33





to write a book






















35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







PART ONE



































CHAPTER ONE


6




















T



7
























KEY DIFFERENCE 1






8






























with any remorse



9


KEY DIFFERENCE 2


























10

























this problem are

bull voice

bull ormat

bull style


bull relatability





11


BEFORE YOU BEGIN





























12
































13















play o your lie














nect with you



14


































15






















BASIC PREMISE












16




A TYPICAL MOMENT































17



























BASIC PREMISE








18











A TYPICAL MOMENT
















bit of protection









19

























BASIC PREMISE












20


A TYPICAL MOMENT






























BASIC PREMISE





21








A TYPICAL MOMENT
















tually was















22



to her husband





family as well


BASIC PREMISE







A TYPICAL MOMENT





















23






























BASIC PREMISE





24









to New York City

A TYPICAL MOMENT



























25




























HOMEWORK






26































27


















RECOMMENDED READING
















28




throughout the book






















CHAPTER TWO


29




















W



30





























31
































32






























33





to write a book






















35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







CHAPTER ONE


6




















T



7
























KEY DIFFERENCE 1






8






























with any remorse



9


KEY DIFFERENCE 2


























10

























this problem are

bull voice

bull ormat

bull style


bull relatability





11


BEFORE YOU BEGIN





























12
































13















play o your lie














nect with you



14


































15






















BASIC PREMISE












16




A TYPICAL MOMENT































17



























BASIC PREMISE








18











A TYPICAL MOMENT
















bit of protection









19

























BASIC PREMISE












20


A TYPICAL MOMENT






























BASIC PREMISE





21








A TYPICAL MOMENT
















tually was















22



to her husband





family as well


BASIC PREMISE







A TYPICAL MOMENT





















23






























BASIC PREMISE





24









to New York City

A TYPICAL MOMENT



























25




























HOMEWORK






26































27


















RECOMMENDED READING
















28




throughout the book






















CHAPTER TWO


29




















W



30





























31
































32






























33





to write a book






















35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







7
























KEY DIFFERENCE 1






8






























with any remorse



9


KEY DIFFERENCE 2


























10

























this problem are

bull voice

bull ormat

bull style


bull relatability





11


BEFORE YOU BEGIN





























12
































13















play o your lie














nect with you



14


































15






















BASIC PREMISE












16




A TYPICAL MOMENT































17



























BASIC PREMISE








18











A TYPICAL MOMENT
















bit of protection









19

























BASIC PREMISE












20


A TYPICAL MOMENT






























BASIC PREMISE





21








A TYPICAL MOMENT
















tually was















22



to her husband





family as well


BASIC PREMISE







A TYPICAL MOMENT





















23






























BASIC PREMISE





24









to New York City

A TYPICAL MOMENT



























25




























HOMEWORK






26































27


















RECOMMENDED READING
















28




throughout the book






















CHAPTER TWO


29




















W



30





























31
































32






























33





to write a book






















35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







8






























with any remorse



9


KEY DIFFERENCE 2


























10

























this problem are

bull voice

bull ormat

bull style


bull relatability





11


BEFORE YOU BEGIN





























12
































13















play o your lie














nect with you



14


































15






















BASIC PREMISE












16




A TYPICAL MOMENT































17



























BASIC PREMISE








18











A TYPICAL MOMENT
















bit of protection









19

























BASIC PREMISE












20


A TYPICAL MOMENT






























BASIC PREMISE





21








A TYPICAL MOMENT
















tually was















22



to her husband





family as well


BASIC PREMISE







A TYPICAL MOMENT





















23






























BASIC PREMISE





24









to New York City

A TYPICAL MOMENT



























25




























HOMEWORK






26































27


















RECOMMENDED READING
















28




throughout the book






















CHAPTER TWO


29




















W



30





























31
































32






























33





to write a book






















35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







9


KEY DIFFERENCE 2


























10

























this problem are

bull voice

bull ormat

bull style


bull relatability





11


BEFORE YOU BEGIN





























12
































13















play o your lie














nect with you



14


































15






















BASIC PREMISE












16




A TYPICAL MOMENT































17



























BASIC PREMISE








18











A TYPICAL MOMENT
















bit of protection









19

























BASIC PREMISE












20


A TYPICAL MOMENT






























BASIC PREMISE





21








A TYPICAL MOMENT
















tually was















22



to her husband





family as well


BASIC PREMISE







A TYPICAL MOMENT





















23






























BASIC PREMISE





24









to New York City

A TYPICAL MOMENT



























25




























HOMEWORK






26































27


















RECOMMENDED READING
















28




throughout the book






















CHAPTER TWO


29




















W



30





























31
































32






























33





to write a book






















35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







10

























this problem are

bull voice

bull ormat

bull style


bull relatability





11


BEFORE YOU BEGIN





























12
































13















play o your lie














nect with you



14


































15






















BASIC PREMISE












16




A TYPICAL MOMENT































17



























BASIC PREMISE








18











A TYPICAL MOMENT
















bit of protection









19

























BASIC PREMISE












20


A TYPICAL MOMENT






























BASIC PREMISE





21








A TYPICAL MOMENT
















tually was















22



to her husband





family as well


BASIC PREMISE







A TYPICAL MOMENT





















23






























BASIC PREMISE





24









to New York City

A TYPICAL MOMENT



























25




























HOMEWORK






26































27


















RECOMMENDED READING
















28




throughout the book






















CHAPTER TWO


29




















W



30





























31
































32






























33





to write a book






















35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







11


BEFORE YOU BEGIN





























12
































13















play o your lie














nect with you



14


































15






















BASIC PREMISE












16




A TYPICAL MOMENT































17



























BASIC PREMISE








18











A TYPICAL MOMENT
















bit of protection









19

























BASIC PREMISE












20


A TYPICAL MOMENT






























BASIC PREMISE





21








A TYPICAL MOMENT
















tually was















22



to her husband





family as well


BASIC PREMISE







A TYPICAL MOMENT





















23






























BASIC PREMISE





24









to New York City

A TYPICAL MOMENT



























25




























HOMEWORK






26































27


















RECOMMENDED READING
















28




throughout the book






















CHAPTER TWO


29




















W



30





























31
































32






























33





to write a book






















35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







12
































13















play o your lie














nect with you



14


































15






















BASIC PREMISE












16




A TYPICAL MOMENT































17



























BASIC PREMISE








18











A TYPICAL MOMENT
















bit of protection









19

























BASIC PREMISE












20


A TYPICAL MOMENT






























BASIC PREMISE





21








A TYPICAL MOMENT
















tually was















22



to her husband





family as well


BASIC PREMISE







A TYPICAL MOMENT





















23






























BASIC PREMISE





24









to New York City

A TYPICAL MOMENT



























25




























HOMEWORK






26































27


















RECOMMENDED READING
















28




throughout the book






















CHAPTER TWO


29




















W



30





























31
































32






























33





to write a book






















35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







13















play o your lie














nect with you



14


































15






















BASIC PREMISE












16




A TYPICAL MOMENT































17



























BASIC PREMISE








18











A TYPICAL MOMENT
















bit of protection









19

























BASIC PREMISE












20


A TYPICAL MOMENT






























BASIC PREMISE





21








A TYPICAL MOMENT
















tually was















22



to her husband





family as well


BASIC PREMISE







A TYPICAL MOMENT





















23






























BASIC PREMISE





24









to New York City

A TYPICAL MOMENT



























25




























HOMEWORK






26































27


















RECOMMENDED READING
















28




throughout the book






















CHAPTER TWO


29




















W



30





























31
































32






























33





to write a book






















35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







14


































15






















BASIC PREMISE












16




A TYPICAL MOMENT































17



























BASIC PREMISE








18











A TYPICAL MOMENT
















bit of protection









19

























BASIC PREMISE












20


A TYPICAL MOMENT






























BASIC PREMISE





21








A TYPICAL MOMENT
















tually was















22



to her husband





family as well


BASIC PREMISE







A TYPICAL MOMENT





















23






























BASIC PREMISE





24









to New York City

A TYPICAL MOMENT



























25




























HOMEWORK






26































27


















RECOMMENDED READING
















28




throughout the book






















CHAPTER TWO


29




















W



30





























31
































32






























33





to write a book






















35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







15






















BASIC PREMISE












16




A TYPICAL MOMENT































17



























BASIC PREMISE








18











A TYPICAL MOMENT
















bit of protection









19

























BASIC PREMISE












20


A TYPICAL MOMENT






























BASIC PREMISE





21








A TYPICAL MOMENT
















tually was















22



to her husband





family as well


BASIC PREMISE







A TYPICAL MOMENT





















23






























BASIC PREMISE





24









to New York City

A TYPICAL MOMENT



























25




























HOMEWORK






26































27


















RECOMMENDED READING
















28




throughout the book






















CHAPTER TWO


29




















W



30





























31
































32






























33





to write a book






















35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







16




A TYPICAL MOMENT































17



























BASIC PREMISE








18











A TYPICAL MOMENT
















bit of protection









19

























BASIC PREMISE












20


A TYPICAL MOMENT






























BASIC PREMISE





21








A TYPICAL MOMENT
















tually was















22



to her husband





family as well


BASIC PREMISE







A TYPICAL MOMENT





















23






























BASIC PREMISE





24









to New York City

A TYPICAL MOMENT



























25




























HOMEWORK






26































27


















RECOMMENDED READING
















28




throughout the book






















CHAPTER TWO


29




















W



30





























31
































32






























33





to write a book






















35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







17



























BASIC PREMISE








18











A TYPICAL MOMENT
















bit of protection









19

























BASIC PREMISE












20


A TYPICAL MOMENT






























BASIC PREMISE





21








A TYPICAL MOMENT
















tually was















22



to her husband





family as well


BASIC PREMISE







A TYPICAL MOMENT





















23






























BASIC PREMISE





24









to New York City

A TYPICAL MOMENT



























25




























HOMEWORK






26































27


















RECOMMENDED READING
















28




throughout the book






















CHAPTER TWO


29




















W



30





























31
































32






























33





to write a book






















35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







18











A TYPICAL MOMENT
















bit of protection









19

























BASIC PREMISE












20


A TYPICAL MOMENT






























BASIC PREMISE





21








A TYPICAL MOMENT
















tually was















22



to her husband





family as well


BASIC PREMISE







A TYPICAL MOMENT





















23






























BASIC PREMISE





24









to New York City

A TYPICAL MOMENT



























25




























HOMEWORK






26































27


















RECOMMENDED READING
















28




throughout the book






















CHAPTER TWO


29




















W



30





























31
































32






























33





to write a book






















35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







19

























BASIC PREMISE












20


A TYPICAL MOMENT






























BASIC PREMISE





21








A TYPICAL MOMENT
















tually was















22



to her husband





family as well


BASIC PREMISE







A TYPICAL MOMENT





















23






























BASIC PREMISE





24









to New York City

A TYPICAL MOMENT



























25




























HOMEWORK






26































27


















RECOMMENDED READING
















28




throughout the book






















CHAPTER TWO


29




















W



30





























31
































32






























33





to write a book






















35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







20


A TYPICAL MOMENT






























BASIC PREMISE





21








A TYPICAL MOMENT
















tually was















22



to her husband





family as well


BASIC PREMISE







A TYPICAL MOMENT





















23






























BASIC PREMISE





24









to New York City

A TYPICAL MOMENT



























25




























HOMEWORK






26































27


















RECOMMENDED READING
















28




throughout the book






















CHAPTER TWO


29




















W



30





























31
































32






























33





to write a book






















35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







21








A TYPICAL MOMENT
















tually was















22



to her husband





family as well


BASIC PREMISE







A TYPICAL MOMENT





















23






























BASIC PREMISE





24









to New York City

A TYPICAL MOMENT



























25




























HOMEWORK






26































27


















RECOMMENDED READING
















28




throughout the book






















CHAPTER TWO


29




















W



30





























31
































32






























33





to write a book






















35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







22



to her husband





family as well


BASIC PREMISE







A TYPICAL MOMENT





















23






























BASIC PREMISE





24









to New York City

A TYPICAL MOMENT



























25




























HOMEWORK






26































27


















RECOMMENDED READING
















28




throughout the book






















CHAPTER TWO


29




















W



30





























31
































32






























33





to write a book






















35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







23






























BASIC PREMISE





24









to New York City

A TYPICAL MOMENT



























25




























HOMEWORK






26































27


















RECOMMENDED READING
















28




throughout the book






















CHAPTER TWO


29




















W



30





























31
































32






























33





to write a book






















35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







24









to New York City

A TYPICAL MOMENT



























25




























HOMEWORK






26































27


















RECOMMENDED READING
















28




throughout the book






















CHAPTER TWO


29




















W



30





























31
































32






























33





to write a book






















35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







25




























HOMEWORK






26































27


















RECOMMENDED READING
















28




throughout the book






















CHAPTER TWO


29




















W



30





























31
































32






























33





to write a book






















35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







26































27


















RECOMMENDED READING
















28




throughout the book






















CHAPTER TWO


29




















W



30





























31
































32






























33





to write a book






















35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







27


















RECOMMENDED READING
















28




throughout the book






















CHAPTER TWO


29




















W



30





























31
































32






























33





to write a book






















35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







28




throughout the book






















CHAPTER TWO


29




















W



30





























31
































32






























33





to write a book






















35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







CHAPTER TWO


29




















W



30





























31
































32






























33





to write a book






















35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







30





























31
































32






























33





to write a book






















35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







31
































32






























33





to write a book






















35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







32






























33





to write a book






















35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







33





to write a book






















35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately









35
































36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







36

































37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







37






























38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







38































39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







39

































40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







40

































41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







41




























an appearance



42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







42






























43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







43















EXERCISE 1



















44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







44


EXERCISE 2















EXERCISE 3












EXERCISE 4





45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







45



















RECOMMENDED READING











CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







CHAPTER THREE


T

46






















I



47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







47

































48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







48






























other time



49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately







49


Parameter Pitfalls





later in the book


































incredibly helpul













very accurately



















incredibly helpul













very accurately





writing & selling your memoir

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