Wreck This Eating

Disorder

Created by Thomas Oakley

Wreck This Eating Disorder (Draft Edition)

Thomas Oakley (2016) All Rights Reserved Contact: toakley@outlook.com or

thomas.oakley@students.pcmd.ac.uk

This book is intended as a self-help journal for people with eating disorders and incorporates elements of mindfulness, cognitive behavioural therapy and other general activities designed to promote a healthy lifestyle.

Wreck This Eating

Disorder

Created by Thomas Oakley

Introduction

This is your journal.

That means you keep it, you choose what you write, and when you’re done with it, you’ll be the proud owner of a one-of-a-kind work of art. There are about 30 activities in it, so should last you about a month if you do one a day, but you can do them at whatever pace you fancy. The title is about eating disorders, but really it’s so much more: anxiety, mood, health and some things are just there because they’re fun! If you want to, personalise your journal: stick things on it, colour it in and make it unique! Note: Some activities require supplies, so maybe have a flick through in advance so you’re not caught off-guard!

Hello World! This journal is going to be your friend for the next month - so tell it a bit about yourself. (Also useful in case it gets lost!) Your name: Age: About you: (Hair colour, Eye colour, personality, everything that makes you, you) Favourite things: (Colours, films, Music, whatever!) What do you want to do in the future?: If you were an animal, which one would you be, and why?: What is your secret talent?

Plan Your Day Often, when people are stressed they lose any sense of routine. You find you lose your sense of purpose and direction and getting a proper routine can help you get back on track. Write a schedule for tomorrow. Make sure you include things like personal hygiene, eating, socialising, and a good amount of sleep. Time Activity 6:00am

7:00am

8:00am

9:00am

10:00am

11:00am

12:00pm

1:00pm

2:00pm

3:00pm

4:00pm

5:00pm

6:00pm

7:00pm

8:00pm

9:00pm

10:00pm

11:00pm

Take a deep breath Deep breathing is a good way to relax when you’re anxious. Even better, you can do it anywhere and people won’t even notice! Breathing techniques are even a key part of Yoga known as “Pranayama” - “prana” in Sanskrit means both "breath" and "spirit energy". Try to step out of the situation, and focus on your breathing. Listen to the sound of your breathing and take slow deep breaths. Here are three great techniques you can try in different situations: Before something stressful - Abdominal Breathing Place one hand on your tummy and the other on your chest bone and feel the movement of your body as you breathe in and out. If you can, breathe from your abdomen rather than your chest and take some slow deep breaths. For an energy boost - Alternate Nostril Breathing Some say this one gets both sides of your brain going. Start by pinching your nose, block off your right nostril, and inhale through your left nostril, now block off your left nostril and exhale through your right nostril. Carry on the pattern, switching it by breathing in with your right and out with your left nostril, Before Bedtime - Equal Breathing This one is as simple as breathing in, counting to four, then exhaling and counting to four again. Breath through your nose as this will slow down your breath and let you relax. You don't just have to do it at bedtime either, this one can be done any time, any place.

Reasons to recover Sometimes, you need a little reminder of the things that are important to you. Before you get better, you need a reason to recover. Maybe it’s so that you can spend more time with your family, so that you feel healthier or so that you can go out with your friends and manage to sit at a café with them. Try and list 10 reasons that make you want to recover. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.

Bombs away! Looking after yourself starts with the basics, so let’s get you spick and span and smelling good. Now it doesn't matter if you’re a bath person or a shower person as we’ve got ideas for both, with a luscious bath bomb and a super shower scrub. So pick your favourite or even give both a go! These make great gifts, or even a fun thing to do with a friend.

Bath Bomb Ingredients • 1 cup Baking Soda • 1/2 cup Epsom Salts • 2 tablespoons Coconut Oil • 1/2 cup Citric Acid • A mould for your bath bombs e.g. a muffin tray • Some vegetable oil • 4-5 drops Essential Oils e.g. Lavender (Optional) • Food colouring (Optional) Instructions 1. Mix all dry ingredients in a bowl 2. Mix all wet ingredients in a separate bowl 3. Slowly at the wet ingredients to the dry ones, it may fizz a little but keep stirring. 4. Add a few drops of oil to each mould and fill it with the mixture. (Don’t fill to the top as the mix will expand slightly) 5. Leave at room temperature for at least 3 hours and until hardened. 6. Enjoy your bath bomb in a nice relaxing bath!

Shower Scrub Ingredients • 1 cup of brown sugar • 1/2 cup of coconut oil • 2 tablespoons of cocoa powder • 4-5 drops of coconut extract/ essential oils Instructions 1. Mix all the ingredients together in a bowl until they are smooth. 2. Put it in a jar. (you could decorate it with ribbon if it’s a gift) Once a week rub the mixture on your skin then wash it off!

Demolition Derby Write down all the bad things your illness tells you on this page then rip it up and destroy it! Flush it down the loo, scrunch it up, tear it to shreds. Your eating disorder has such a destructive impact on you, it’s time to get your own back!

I double dare you! It’s good to set goals, it gives you something to aim for and you generally feel pretty good when you do something that you set out to do. Dare yourself to do something and here’s some tips on how to make it happen. We quite often bite off more than we can chew or don’t know how to go from dream to reality. Today, we're going to set some goals to achieve by the end of the month but try to follow these tips! Be reasonable If you plan to go to the moon, unless you’re already an astronaut it’s probably not going to happen! That’s not to say it’s bad to have dreams or long term goals as long as they’re not all like this. Choose something specific Instead of something like trying to "sleep better", a more useful way to goal set is to say "I want to go to sleep at 10pm tonight". That way, you can say for sure that you’ve achieved your goal. Remember to celebrate your achievements! If you've done something really tough, then treat yourself! Now everyone has different ways of doing that, but try and make sure it’s something positive and healthy.

List your goal below, and when you want to do it by:

One step forward,

two steps back... It's really good to make positive changes and try to recover but it doesn't all happen straight way. Sometimes you can have hiccups or things can even get worse! Recognize when things haven't gone to plan It’s okay to say to yourself “this isn’t working”. If you find yourself in this position STOP, and take a moment to look at the situation. Don't play the blame game It doesn’t matter who’s fault it is, blaming people won’t make things better. Make a plan and keep pushing yourself Don’t give up, think about what set you back and come up with a solution. Even better – come up with multiple solutions so if Plan A doesn’t work, you have a Plan B and even a Plan C! Try writing a problem down and see how many different solutions you can think of:

Photo Fabulous Stick in a photo of yourself. Find 10 things you like about your body and label them. Refer to this whenever you are lacking body confidence. If you are struggling to do this alone, ask a friend what they like about your body.

Stick your photo here!

Why is body image important? Our body image is how we feel about our bodies, including your appearance and how you think other people see you. Having a good body image doesn't mean you have to think you're attractive or perfect, but it's being comfortable with who you are. Society has some ridiculous expectations of beauty which are often impossible especially in a world of Photoshop and make-up. Listing things that you (or others) like about yourself reminds you that it is possible to be happy and healthy, and not to be too tough on yourself. Body image has a real effect on people, and can really knock your confidence! Isn't it crazy that 1 in 6 people taking their GCSEs have avoided going to school because they felt bad about their appearance? Poor body image is also linked to lower confidence, lower aspirations and people not joining in. Believe in yourself and don't be afraid to dream! Also remember to share the love, and tell other people if they look good, that little compliment can make someone's day.

Doodlebug Did you know doodling is good for you? It can focus your mind and relieve stress. Finish off this page and colour it in!

Box of tricks Think of all the things which help you to feel good. These should be healthy things which can deal with stress. Think about music, meditation or other activities you do. Write them down here, and you'll have a little toolkit next time you're anxious, like if one of your triggers sets you off. Also, maybe specific people are good at helping you calm down, you could always write their names down here and keep this page with you so that people know what help to get in the future.

Meditation Close your eyes. For a few minutes, sit and focus on everything going on around you. Pick out all the sounds and sensations you usually miss. Be aware of your body.

Why do I feel how I do? People can feel down for several reasons: some of these include • Having a negative view of yourself • Interpreting things in a negative and biased way • Having a negative view of the future People don’t choose to think like this, often it’s out of habit. Also there are other reasons people feel sad, but learning to think differently and recognize bad thoughts can give you a boost. Here's an example:

Good: It’s okay, I’ll work hard and pass next time. Bad: I’m useless, I can’t do anything

Thought

Good: You revise for the exam and pass! Bad: You don’t feel like doing anything and struggle

Action

You fail an exam

Event

Good: Positive, as I know next time I’ll be prepared. Bad: Sad, unsure about the future.

Feelings

Alternatives to self-harm Sometimes when people feel down and don’t know how else to cope they can self-harm. Obviously it’s not healthy, but people can feel pretty desperate. If you ever feel like this, then these are some safe alternatives to try instead.

1. Stomp around as loud as you can. 2. Draw funny faces on the photos in a magazine. 3. Hit a pillow against the wall as hard as you can. 4. Pop some bubble wrap. (Most people love this so you can

even do it with a friend!) 5. Jump on some drinks cans and crush them (with shoes on). 6. Hold ice against your skin/ run cold water on your hands. 7. Find somewhere you can shout as loud as you like. 8. Draw on your skin with a marker

Try the Butterfly Project: draw a butterfly where you want to self-harm, and if the butterfly stays until the marker fades then it lived and flown away!

9. Cut up some fruit instead (and make a fruit salad!) 10. Kiss the place you want to harm or have a wound to remind

yourself that you care about your body

Remember, if you do self-harm – you should tell someone so that you can get any injuries sorted out properly.

Exercise When you're feeling down you often don't feel like doing anything. Have you thought about it the other way round though? Maybe you're down, because you’re not doing anything. Exercise is a great way to help your mood and prevent anxiety - there's a load of science behind it and aerobic exercise is the best for this. Here are some fun suggestions to get you up and moving: Dancing This is awesome to do with friends and really creative. Put on your favourite music and make up some routines or just shake your body and jump! Games like Just Dance are also quite good to show you what to do and can add some competition into the mix. Walking This is the easiest exercise you can do, take your feet, put one in front of the other and then choose where to go. Make sure someone knows where you're going, go in a group. If there’s a park nearby you can even get a bit closer to nature. Gardening This doesn’t seem like exercise, but gardening can get you really active! Digging, weeding and pruning can make you stretch, and if you’re a fan of flowers there’s nothing better. If you're adventurous you could try growing your own fruit and vegetables. Remember, exercise is something to keep you fit and healthy. Make sure not to over-exercise; if you’re doing more, you need to make sure you give your body more energy. If you are currently seeing a clinician, it’s always a good idea to seek their advice on the right amount. If exercising becomes a duty and not something you enjoy, or it gets in the way of your every-day life, then you’re probably doing too much!

Rose-tinted glasses You may have heard of people "looking through rose-tinted glasses" when people always see things in a positive way. Well sometimes the opposite can happen! Your brain doesn’t always see things how they actually are, it distorts what you see and it’s tricky to know what the truth is. Maybe you have some glasses that make you see the worst in things. Below are some ways of thinking that people sometimes fall into. Tick the ones that you sometimes think, if you find yourself ticking quite a few, then trying to change how you think might really help you.

Things always go wrong for me. □

I’ll never be able to do anything right. □

I should be a better person. □

I’m useless and no good. □

I’m un-loveable. □

I always mess things up. □

I’m a fraud. □

Things need to be perfect. □

I’m a failure. □

He/she didn’t say hello; I must be boring. □

Nobody likes me. □

If it’s not right, there’s no point doing it at all. □

Beautiful Breakfasts It’s a common saying that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but why? Does it really matter if you skip breakfast, I mean sometimes we’re all busy, right? Apart from just giving you the fuel you need to kick ass throughout the day, a healthy breakfast gives you nutrients the body needs. People who make time for breakfast often have a healthier diet overall! Here are some recipes to make breakfast a bit more fun. Breakfast Bars Ingredients • 1 x 397 grams can condensed milk • 250 grams rolled oats (not instant) • 75 grams shredded coconut • 100 grams dried cranberries • 125 grams mixed seeds (pumpkin, sunflower, sesame) • 125 grams natural unsalted peanuts Method

1. Preheat the oven to 130°C/gas mark ½/250ºF, and oil a 23 x 33 x 4cm / 9 x 13 inch baking tin, or use a throwaway foil one.

2. Warm the condensed milk in a large pan. 3. Meanwhile, mix together all the other ingredients and then

add the warmed condensed milk, using a rubber or wooden spatula to fold and distribute.

4. Spread the mixture into the tin and press down with the spatula or, better still, your hands (wearing disposable vinyl gloves to stop you sticking), to even the surface.

5. Bake for 1 hour, then remove from the oven and, after about 15 minutes, cut into four across, and four down to make 16 chunky bars. Let cool completely.

Breakfast Fruit Parfait Ingredients • 2 cups plain yogurt • 2 cups your favorite granola • 2 cups fresh berries (raspberries, blueberries, strawberries (hulled and sliced), and/or other fruit such as bananas or mangos, peeled and sliced • 4 tablespoons honey Method

1. Line up 4 parfait, white wine, or other tall glasses. 2. Spoon 2 tablespoons of yogurt into each glass and

smooth surface. 3. Spoon 2 tablespoons of granola overtop and smooth

surface. 4. Spoon 2 tablespoons of fruit overtop and smooth

surface. Repeat the process, adding a bit of honey here and there, to taste

Avocado Toasts Ingredients • Ripe Avocado • 1/2 lemon juice • Salt • 2 slices of bread • Olive Oil • Seasoning • Egg (Optional) Method

1. Cut avocado, remove pip and scoop flesh into bowl 2. Add lemon juice and salt to taste 3. Mash with fork to the texture you want 4. Spread onto toast, drizzle with oil and season

(Add one or two eggs to your toast for an extra bit of protein!)

Pet Peeves So maybe you've already touched on what you’re like when already in a bad mood or feeling down, but have you thought of what makes you feel that way? Maybe it's people talking about a certain topic or if you have an argument with someone. It's time to think about triggers, things that set you off. Write them down here, and if you've done other pages, you can make a little kit which says what triggers you, signs that you're stressed, and coping strategies to help you deal with it before it becomes a problem.

Things that trigger me:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Every cloud

has a silver lining Take a few things that have happened that seem negative and try and find a positive way to think about it. If you're having trouble, then ask a friend! Of course, you can't turn everything into a positive, and it’s definitely important to recognize the sadness when something bad has happened. Example: My day was awful, I was late to meet my friends and we missed the film we were going to see. Seeing the positive: I'm glad my friends waited for me, even though we didn't see the film, we went to the park instead and had a great time What happened:

Seeing the positive:

What happened:

Seeing the positive:

What happened:

Seeing the positive:

Jekyll and Hyde Have you ever noticed that sometimes it’s as if there’s two versions of yourself? The good-you, who’s great to be around and generally in a good mood, then the evil twin where everything goes a bit pear-shaped. Draw and write about two copies of you, one when you're feeling well and one when you're grumpy and need some support, what's different between the two? Maybe the other-you doesn't join in activities or might get snappy at people. Of course there aren’t really two versions of you, but maybe by drawing it out, you'll notice signs that things aren't quite right so that you can talk to someone about how you're feeling before you turn into a bit of a monster!

When I’m happy When I feel down

Beauty sleep A good night’s sleep can make the world a much better place. Sometimes though, no matter what you just can’t get to sleep. There are some things you can do, known as ‘sleep hygiene’ which can get you ready for a proper sleep and have you feeling ship-shape.

1. Avoid things that stimulate you. The main one is caffeine, so avoid coffee and cola for at least four hours before bed time. The same thing applies for smokers.

2. Don’t work in your bedroom! If you have to study, don’t do it in your room. That way your body know your bedroom is a place for relaxing.

3. Have a routine. Routines were mentioned earlier in this journal, but a set routine like, having a shower and reading a book for half an hour can give your body the signs that it’s almost bed-time.

Similarly, be consistent and try to go to bed at the same time.

4. Avoid artificial light Try not to look at your phone, or computers in the hour before bed-time. The light can affect your brain and stop you getting to sleep.

5. Have a bath and a hot drink If you can, have a bath – the hot water is so relaxing. See the bath bomb recipes to make it extra special. A hot drink like warm milk or hot chocolate will also help you to nod off.

Do or dye Have you got an old white top somewhere at the back of your closet? Of course you have! Time to give it a new lease of life with some tie-dye. It’s different every time, and you can get some great results. You can even dye clothes and give them to your friends. What you need: • Several types of fabric dye • Rubber bands • Rubber gloves • Marbles • A Bucket • Water • Some clothes to dye! Method:

1. Get the dye ready in the bucket, according to the instructions on the packet. Make sure you wear gloves as the dye can irritate your skin.

2. Tie your clothes using the rubber bands and marbles: different techniques give different effects. sunburst stripes circles

3. Place in the dye for at least 15-20 minutes (the longer you leave it, the stronger the colour)

4. Rinse out the clothes according to the instructions on the dye and dry them out.

rubber bands with several

marbles

just rubber bands

marbles with a

single band

This is a time machine... Imagine you find a time machine and it takes you 10 years into the future. What’s changed? What do you think you’ll be doing? Write here what you think it’ll be like: describe the sights and sensations then maybe look back in the future and see if it’s like you imagined!

Thought detectives Core beliefs are really important, often lots of other thoughts stem from them and if they’re negative then it can affect how you think about everything. They’re hard to identify and harder to challenge but here's a way to try and work it all out. You just have to be a bit of a detective and find the clues. Take a negative thought you often have, and trace it back to get to the core belief. To trace it back, ask yourself "If this were true, what does this mean about me?"

Example Negative Thought

“My friend didn’t want to

meet up” (What does this mean?)

“I’m boring” (What does this mean?)

“Nobody likes me” (What does this mean?)

“I’m worthless” (CORE BELIEF)

Your thought Negative Thought

(What does this mean?)

(What does this mean?)

(What does this mean?)

(What does this mean?)

(CORE BELIEF)

To the core Hopefully you managed to track your thoughts back to the negative core beliefs behind them. It’s difficult to challenge these thoughts especially when you've spent most of your time focusing on things that makes you believe them. Write down the core belief, and then try and find evidence that proves it wrong. So the example in the last page was that the person thinks they are worthless. Asking a friend for evidence, or keeping a diary of things helps stop you forgetting them, otherwise you’ll only remember the negatives.

Core Belief: (e.g. ‘I’m worthless’)

Evidence it’s not true: (e.g. ‘Sophie said she wants to meet up’)

Face your fears! The best way to get over what scares you is to deal with it head on - otherwise you just try to avoid it and you find it ruins your life. Remember your fears are often much worse than things really are – often build up to something scary feels much worse than actually doing it. Start off slow, with something that you can manage, then do it again but this time push yourself a little bit further. Before you do it, try to calm yourself down – look at the breathing exercises earlier in the journal. Accept things may not go perfectly (there’s a section on setbacks as well in the journal.) Make a list of what you are scared of, then make a fear ladder here. Put the least scary thing at the bottom, and the most scary thing at the top. An example here is eating in around other people.

Eating a meal in a restaurant Having a snack in a café Having a drink in a café Eating in front of a friend Having a drink with a friend Talking to someone while they are eating

House of mirrors Have you ever been into a room full of mirrors where everything is distorted? Your body looks out of proportion and it can be quite scary! Body Dysmorphic Disorder, or BDD, creates a similar effect when you look in and ordinary mirror. Typically, you can appear to be a lot bigger when you see yourself in the mirror than you actually are. Do you find yourself constantly checking your appearance in the mirror? Or do you avoid them completely? Try to count the number of times you look at your reflection as an experiment- include looking in window reflections and any other reflective surface. If you check your appearance more than 15-20 times, challenge yourself to do this less as preoccupation with body image can fuel BDD. On the other hand, if you find you are actively avoiding looking in the mirror, this could be down to feelings of shame towards your appearance. Instead, challenge yourself to look in the mirror and pick out things about yourself that you do like. It is very important to remember that while how we look may feel very important, despite being cliché it really is who you are inside that matters. Not only that, but if you compare what you see in the mirror to the bodies of celebrities in magazines, you’re aiming for something completely impossible! If you have access to the internet, just take a look at before and after pictures of celebrities who have been photo shopped!

Oh crumbs... When people talk about baking, most people think of cakes. Not this time though – you’re going to learn how to make bread. This can be pretty satisfying as you need to really put some effort into kneading it all together. Perfect if you want to de-stress! Ingredients • 500g white bread flour • 2 teaspoons salt • 7g yeast (1 sachet) • 300ml lukewarm water • 3 tablespoons vegetable oil Method

1. Mix the flour, salt and yeast in a bowl.

2. Add the oil and water and mix everything together 3. Put some flour on a work surface, and tip the mixture on it

4. Knead the dough, stretching it between both hands until it is

really smooth and springy, then place it in an oiled bowl with some cling film on top and leave for at least an hour until it

has doubled in size.

5. Line a tray with some baking parchment 6. Heat the oven to 220ºC (200ºC for a fan oven)/ gas mark 7

7. Take your dough and knock the air out of it, form it into a

ball and place it on the tray

8. Slash the top of the bread and bake in the oven for 25-30 minutes until golden brown

9. Allow to cool on a wire rack

Maybe you could toast it and try the avocado breakfast recipe!

A letter to... You’re at the end of this journal, and it’s time to say goodbye.... to your eating disorder. It’s something very personal, so here’s your chance to say farewell. Hopefully you’ve learnt things along the way to get you ready for this big step. Think about how it has made you feel, the ways in which it’s affected your life. You can do it in this book, or find a piece of paper. Try and get it all down, this is your chance to let go.