with monsters

7/31/2019 With Monsters

1/21

WITH MONSTERS

by

Robert Herzog


2/21

FADE IN:

ON A MAN IN A MONSTER MASK. No sense of time or place.

Hes uncomfortably close. His nightmarish face imposes, fills

all, offers no escape. Every grim contour and shade on display.

Lines creep across the surface. Layers twist. Features sink in.

Only loving craftsmanship could make a face so perfectly awful.

Authentic fangs jut. They threaten to rip and tear. They fill a

mouth thats stretched impossibly wide

and itching to bite.

The man observes quietly behind his mask, and then

He HUMS. BARELY AUDIBLE at first, but it grows steadily to a

pitch that is LOUD, URGENT, and ANXIOUS. Like an old Saturday

night horror flick soundtrack, just before the screaming starts.

Anticipation grows. Uneasiness prevails. Then silence.

MASKED MAN

We havent been introduced.

His humming resumes momentarily, then fades.

MASKED MANLet me warn you: this is my first

time doing this. Im especially

nervous. Am I properly fitted?

The mask quivers. A tiny shift of the heavy skin.

MASKED MAN

Im a software specialist. I

manage implementation and

outsourcing. I work downtown.

Im a homeowner. My name isDennis. You and I should meet.

Am I identifiable?

(Shrugs)

I want to resume an active dating

life, so please consider me for

companionship.

Dead silence


3/21

2

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

A complete view emerges. The man sits and films himself. He

wears a black T-shirt with GREASER ablaze in orange across his

chest. He pulls off his mask with an air of drama.

Meet DENNIS GERBATCH, 38, an average looking fellow, slightly

goateed. Walls behind him are blanketed with monster masks and

horror posters. The MASKED MAN is henceforth known as DENNIS.

DENNIS

I never envisioned myself

as a webcast dater, but my

social life has been dormant.

He looks at the mask in his hand. Holds it up.

DENNIS

Sorry for removing this so soon,

but if I keep it on too long I

get internal condensation.

What else do you want to know? Im

domesticated. I cook. I recently

installed new appliances, including

an airspeed oven. My specialty is

berry cobbler with brown sugar. I

watch television. I draw. I eat.

I can hum. Thats the extent of it.

(He looks down at his mask)

And theres also my enthusiasm

for horror. You could say Ive got

a tiny problem with collecting and

storing. Ive improved, but horror

is definitely winning. I sometimes

wear costumes, so thats fair

warning for you. I have an inventory

of just over 2,000 masks, plus

soundtracks and memorabilia.

He abruptly reveals a cell phone cued up to play music.

He hits play and points the camera at his wall of horror

paraphernalia. Horror soundtrack MUSIC flows. Faces flash:

A demon, a clown, a vampire, something with many eyes, a

pirate, a woman with a hideous grin, a swamp creature, a

two-headed man, a shadowy figure.


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3

He sets the camera back. Music off.

DENNIS

Theres more: I live in a house

of supposed paranormal involvement.

I dislike the term haunted, but

theres some recorded evidence

and documentation. My home is a

graystone mansion constructed

in 1893 here in the city. Maybe

my supernatural visitor would like

to make its presence felt right

now on camera.

He quiets. Odd stillness prevails. Expectancy grows. Finally

DENNIS

Is there someone or something

here with us in this room?

More quiet. The masks flash again: a wolf man, a wizard, a hobo

with a large cigar drooping from his mouth, a cyclops.

DENNIS

OK. Nothing. Sorry. My visitor

seems to be on hiatus.

Am I too far adrift? Obviously, my

interests dont make me compatiblewith many women. The truth is, Im

38 years old, and I cant stop

buying monster masks. Please help me.

Im all alone, but Im attachable.

(Puts mask back on face)

Heres the bottom line: with me,

what you see is what you get.

He resumes the humming from earlier, but adds a point.

DENNISOh yeah, if you have kids, you

probably should consider somebody

else. Thanks.

He hums briefly. The picture fades. His dating video ends.

Dennis turns off his camera. Removes the mask. Sets it down.

Shrugs.


5/21

4

DENNIS

(speaking to his mask)

Was I loud and clear?

(awaits response that never comes)

Should I cook something up?

INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT

MONTAGE DENNIS WORKS IN KITCHEN

--Dennis cooks eggs in a skillet. A modern and sleek kitchen.

Everything new and spotless. No hint of horror items.

--He places the eggs on a plate, carefully sprinkles seasonings,

arranges it so the eggs sit beautifully on the plate, eats.

--Puts the plate into a dishwasher. Wipes his hands. Cleans. All

is immaculate. Leaves the kitchen.

INT. DINING ROOM - NIGHT

Stark contrast with the kitchen. This room has worn wallpaper

and a few large holes, revealing slats. Masks hang everywhere on

the walls. Drawings of monsters are alongside.

Dennis sits at the table and picks up a tablet of drawing paper.

He flips and continues a previously started sketch. He draws

INSERT DRAWING

A figure with a deathly face, large open mouth with no lips and

ugly teeth, a dark top hat, and extremely long fingers.

Awkwardly posed. This subject is RONALD LONG LANG or LIPLESS

BACK TO SCENE

Dennis sketches carefully. Fully absorbed.

Drawings hanging on the wall flash into view. All show Long Lang

with the extra long fingers. Langs name is on each drawing.

INSERT DRAWINGS

--Lang standing in a hallway. Menacing.

--Hes seated for dinner. A bloody meal on his plate.

--Hes hiding under a bed.


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--Hes in a closet. His fingers jut out.

--Hes ripping some poor soul to shreds. Gushing blood.

--He sits on the toilet.

--He makes an obscene gesture.

BACK TO SCENE

INT. OFFICE - NIGHT

More posters, masks. Theres also a bulletin board filled with

research into the haunted house, including an obituary for

Ronald Lang and snapshots of dark rooms and shadowy figures.

Orbs of light are circled. Ancient newspaper. Murder stories.

Dennis sits at computer. Pays bills. Bored. He goes to monster

mask website. Scrolls around. Groans in disgust. Walks away.

EXT. PORCH - NIGHT

Dennis waters plants that hang from his front porch. Meticulous.

His house comes into view: An urban mansion. Partially

dilapidated. Ivy creeps up dark stone. Two imposing columns. An

archway. Overgrown vegetation. A pair of pondering chipped

gargoyles. An iron gate. CRICKETS CHIRP. A lonesome BIRD CRIES.

Dennis waters his last plant and heads inside.

INT. KITCHENNIGHT

Dennis puts cookie dough on a baking sheet. Applies cookie

cutter: windmill shaped. Everything into oven.

INT. WORKROOM - NIGHT

Dennis repairs an old reel-to-reel projector: the kind teachers

used in the 60s and 70s. Tightens screws. Flicks a switch. REELS

ROLL. A flood of light projects onto the wall. A movie starts.

Its a musical. A couple CHEERFULLY SINGS, but their faces

distort because they project on a rough wall and not a screen.

They appear sinister. Dennis turns away from these images to

tinker with the machine. Turns back. Watches. Closes his eyes.


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6

Now the projector is in new light. It plays the same old movie,

but this time, Long Lang appears. Lurches. Long fingers drag.

Lang takes over the screen. Close. Breathing. His face also

distorted against the old bricks. The cheerful MUSIC THROBS.

Dennis opens his eyes. Lang is gone. Just singers. Dennis

ponders. Turns off projector. Rolling canisters WHEEZE TO HALT.

INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT

He removes the cookies. Places them in a container. Frowns.

INT. BASEMENT STAIRWELL - NIGHT

Dennis flicks a light switch, which barely illuminates the

stairwell. Stairs creak underneath him as he moves down.

INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT

Filled with horror memorabilia, including:

--Several mannequins. No clothing. They wear masks.

--Various monster sculptures.

--A large, plastic coffin with a pumpkin-headed doll inside. A

headstone sits near the coffin.--A Christmas tree.

He bypasses these things and heads for the coal bin. The wooden

door is peeling industrial green paint. Halfway open. Menacing.

Dennis studies the door carefully. Checks the hinges. Places his

finger against the side. Peers into the darkness beyond door.

DENNIS

If youre in there, good night.

Dont let the bed bugs bite.

No response from the dark.

INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT

He brushes his teeth. Hangs brush on zombie holder.


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INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT

Dennis is in bed. Watches a late night talk show. The digital

clock reads 11:45. Shuts off the TV.

Denniss soft breathing is heard. A floorboard creeks. A pipe

knocks. Nothing out of the ordinary. Settling.

EXT. FRONT OF HOUSE - NIGHT

Another view of the front. The vines and bushes rustle slightly

in the breeze. Wind chimes on the front porch clink softly. The

chimes are shaped like tiny skeletons. Time passes.


Denniss clock reads 2:33 a.m. Hes wide awake.

A slight BANG sounds from somewhere in the house. Dennis gets

out of bed. Throws on sweat pants.

He heads down the creaky stairs in the dark. Shadows grow.


This rooms walls are covered with masks. He looks up at them.

DENNIS

OK, who made the noise?

Thats funny, right?

The masks face Dennis with frozen snarls and grimaces. The

slightest NOISE sounds. A SLURP? Barely perceptible.

DENNIS

Should I go downstairs?

INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT

Dennis stands before the coal bin door. Then pushes door open.

DENNIS

Dont worry. Its just me.

Just checking things out.


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INT. COAL BIN - NIGHT

Dimly lit. We see:

--exposed ancient brick. Gray. Cold.

--tree roots growing through cracks in the wall.

--spider webs, dirt, small debris, cracked floor pavement.

There is a CLICK. A pull chain. An overhead bulb sparks to life,

providing some light. But one corner is still shadowy

Theres a silhouetted figure in that corner. Long fingers,

Top hat. Its LONG LANG. Dennis approaches slowly.

He reaches Long Lang and rolls him out. It is a life-sized

statue that sits on rollers. Its a crude model built of old

mannequin parts and masks. The fingers extend unnaturally.

DENNIS

You look sloppy.

Lang stares at him with menace.

Dennis dusts off his suit coat and rearranges his fingers so

that they have greater extension.

DENNIS

This is really shoddy.

Am I neglecting?

Dennis maneuvers the Lang statue. Theres a small CREAK of the

door hinge. Might have moved slightly. Dennis springs to it.

DENNIS

OK. I heard that. Is it

nothing? Is this nothing

or something? Something?

He turns to Lang, who stares ahead grimly. Dennis finds a lawn

chair in corner and unfolds it. He sits. Watches. After amoment, he turns to the statue.

DENNIS

Do you mind if I observe for

a moment? In case its something.

Dennis sits quietly. Time passes. He stares at door. It doesnt

move. He turns to Lang.


10/21

9

DENNIS

Im thinking about adding almonds

to my glaze. Am I enhancing?

No response.

DENNIS

I made windmill cookies. No nuts.

Ill bring them to work tomorrow.

Is it silly that Im down here?

Dennis reaches out to the statue and pulls a draw string near

its ribcage. Lang speaks.

LANG

(Tinny, mechanical voice)

Im coming for you.

Dennis pulls the string again.

LANG

You cannot escape me.

The device is similar to what one would find on a talking baby

doll. Dennis seems satisfied with hearing the voice.

They sit in the dingy coal bin and more time passes.

--Dennis paces.--He fusses with his statue.

--He pulls out a paddleball on a string from the corner of the

room. The ball initially BEATS rhythmically on the wood, but

Dennis misses and sideswipes as he grows more tired. He

drops it in frustration. Turns to his statue.

DENNIS

How did we get to this

point, Ronald Lang?

He paces.

DENNIS

Do something. Scare me.

(He waits. The room is quiet)

OK. Fine. Lets go with a joke

then: Guy buys a paranormal house.

Ghosts dont hurt him, but the

mortgage and upkeep do. Get it?


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10

Dennis moves out of view. Only Lipless Lang is seen. Denniss

BREATHING and FOOTSTEPS are heard, along with some RUMMAGING.

Then the sound of a PULLCHAIN. The light goes out. Only the

faint glow of a bulb elsewhere in the basement illuminates

Lipless Lang, but hes mostly shadow.

Dennis is still moving around somewhere in the dark. Then comes

the sound of the DRAW STRING and Langs TINNY VOICE.

LANG

Im coming for you.

More SHUFFLING. Then Dennis SCREAMS. Not just an ordinary

scream, but one that rattles the soul. It ricochets around the

empty coal bin. It goes on for an absurdly long period. Lang

glares in our vision the whole time.

AhhhhhhhhhhhhhhAhhhhhhh.



Absolute terror.

Silence. Is Dennis alive?

Theres a click. Light returns. Hes unharmed, but frustrated.

DENNISHow long have I been down

here? A long time, right?

And I just cant believe

(His tone lightens a degree)

I cant believe that this

has become so serious to me.

Being down here has become

a thousand times more serious

to me than Id have ever, ever

expected, and I dont know

why. And the cookies I bakedtonight, of course, were misshapen

and they just look really sad.

I heard noises tonight, right?

No response. No activity. Complete quiet. Resigned, Dennis

grunts and rolls Lang back into the corner. Folds up his chair.

Places it against the wall. Looks back at Lang. His anger fades.


12/21

11

DENNIS

This is goofy, right? This is

skipping around the birdhouse

with the peach basket, isnt it?

He picks up his paddleball and gives a failed swipe at the ball.

He goes back to Langs corner and speaks intimately to his ear.

DENNIS

You saw my video right? My dating

video? It needs work, but so does

everything else. If theres no

activity in here, then Ill find

some out there. Is that cool?

Lang looks on. Dennis turns out the light. Pulls the door almost

closed. A thin light from elsewhere in the basement gives the

faintest illumination. The shadows from Langs long fingers

extend across the old bricks. And very gradually

The HINGES GROAN.

The door moves a quarter inch on its own.

Total darkness prevails.

Theres a soft chewing sound. Then silence.

SUPER: SEVERAL WEEKS LATER

INT. APARTMENT BEDROOM - NIGHT

A completely different part of town. Its dark, but a door

bursts open, letting in light. A silhouetted figure appears in

the doorway. It is distorted and scary at first, but then a

womans figure comes into focus.

The bedroom light snaps on revealing SANDRA HAGEN, 34, as the

figure in the doorway. Sandra is petite and pretty. She has

short hair, a satin blouse, and a leather jacket. She carries a

tall glass of wine: Tipsy.

CARRIE LEE, 35, sleeps. Shes a little chubby, long-haired, and

fatigued. A dozen Teddy bears share her bed. She and wears sweat

pants and a faded Lobsterfest T-shirt from a restaurant.

SANDRA

(whispering)

Wakey Wakey.


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Carrie is disoriented. Groans. Looks around. Moves her lips, but

nothing comes out.

SANDRA

Wakey Wakey. Ive found

something good online.

CARRIE

(Croaks)

I was asleep.

SANDRA

Sorry, OK. But this is too

perfect. It cant wait

until breakfast.

Carrie looks around. Croaks.

CARRIE

Were you out?

SANDRA

Well, I dont know if that qualified

as going out, but never mind about

that. I need you to get up. Ive

struck oil with this one.

Carrie stares blankly up at the ceiling. Sandra grabs her by the

hand and pulls. Sandra falls. Spills wine. Resumes pulling.

SANDRA

Get out of bed, ya hag.

Ive found you a man.


The two women stare at a laptop. Sandra beams. Carrie droops.

Dennis is on it, wearing his mask. Its his webcast video. They

watch it as it ends.

SANDRA

Doesnt that kill? I mean,

not literally, but maybe.

Its kind of sexy, I think.

She points the computer camera at herself and starts typing at

her laptop. She smoothes her hair, sips wine, laughs.


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CARRIE

No. Are you kidding me?

Its a joke.

Sandra makes a few preparations and then speaks into the camera.

SANDRA

Dennis. That was sensational! Bravo.

(Claps. Sips wine)

Bravo. Im Sandra. My friend is Carrie.

Were highly intrigued. Maybe youd

like to meet us when you arent

too busy slaughtering teenagers.

(She gulps remaining wine)

OK. Heres how it works: Carrie and

I operate as a team, meaning we

go on dates together. Im fun and

she knows karate, in case theres

any funny business. So that makes

us the perfect combo. Here let me

put Carrie on.

She tries to grab Carrie and drag her into picture. There is

the sound of struggle in the background.

SANDRA (O.S.)

Dammit youre strong

Finally, Carrie flashes into view.

CARRIE

Im so sorry about this.

Sandra shoves her aside. Takes her place in the picture.

SANDRA

(Shakes her head)

Stop. Strike that comment

from the record. Why would you

apologize? Dennis, just disregardher for the moment. We want to take

you out for drinks and run our

fingers through your hair. I

personally prefer wine over blood,

which I hope isnt a problem.

Think it over. Get back soon.


15/21

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She reaches to turn off the camera, but decides to make one

more comment into the camera. She whispers.

SANDRA

Please dont kill any teenagers

without us.

The camera cuts out. Sandra stands before the computer.

She pours another glass of wine and beams proudly.

CARRIE

I cant believe you said that.

Sandra only smiles. Carrie opens the refrigerator and pours a

glass of milk. She nods to her friend.

CARRIE

Bottoms up, nag.

(She downs the milk)

Do you have any other bad

ideas? If not Im going back

to sleep.

Sandra smirks. Tips her glass toward Carrie.

INT. BEDROOM NIGHT

Sitting at her beds edge, Carrie takes a deep breath and holdsit. Her cheeks bulge. Her face reddens. She holds her breath

for an impossibly long period of time before falling backward

onto her pillow. All goes black.

INT. BLACKENED ROOM - NIGHT

Lipless Lang stands before us. His fingers stretch to

impossible lengths. He lurches forward. Gets a bit too close.

Backs up. Takes off his stovepipe hat. Takes a bow. Stares into

the camera.

He backs up to reveal a film projector, the same one seen

before. He flips a switch. The REELS set in motion. We hear the

GEARS. A film shows. The quality is grainy. Just like those old

school movies. The following events are shown in this film:


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SUPER: Noises in My Room: Starring Dennis, Age 10.

INT. BOYS BEDROOM - NIGHT

YOUNG DENNIS, 10, holds a record. Hes in pajamas.

The film has a narrator. We never see this person, but his

voice is dark and weird. Perhaps it is the voice of Lipless

Lang himself, back when he had lips.

NARRATOR (V.O.)

Let me tell you a little about our

friend Dennis. Youve been watching

him for only a short time, but

weve watched him his whole life.

We are his monsters. The ones who

live in shadows, daydreams, and

nightmares. We sometimes find our

way into the physical world. We

are always close and getting

closer.

We want to show you Dennis at

age ten. His auntie gave him a

recording called Scary Sounds to

Listen to in the Dark. This is

how it starts.

Young Dennis places the needle on the record. It rotates.

Horrible sounds emit. GASPS. FOOTSTEPS. DRIPS. HEAVY BREATHING.

Young Denniss face shows both horror and fascination.

NARRATOR (V.O.)

The record frightened Dennis, but

he couldnt stop playing it. That

was the moment when Dennis started

loving us. And oh how we loved him

back. Ohhhhhhhhhh.


Young Dennis sleeps in his bed. Quiet. Dark. A shadow moves in

his room. A floorboard creaks.

Moments pass. The quiet room abruptly fills with sound: CLANKS,

desperate BREATHING, RATTLING CHAINS, HOWLING WINDS.


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Denniss small record player revolves and emits these terrible

noises. Its the sound effects record.

Young Dennis reluctantly gets out of bed. In the darkness, he

approaches the record player. Horrible sounds emit. He is both

desperate to turn it off and frightened to touch it.

Slowly he reaches his hand to the switch and kills the sound.

It groans to a stop.

He hurries back to bed and pulls the covers over his

head.

Moments later, the record starts up again. Young Dennis doesnt

want to face it again, but gets out of bed. Approaches

cautiously, and turns it off.

He looks to his closet. Was there a sound there?

He moves closer.

A SHADOWY FIGURE BURSTS FROM THE CLOSET, roaring and moving

directly to Dennis. It picks him up and drags him to the

closet. Young Dennis SCREAMS, but the dark man has him in his

clutches. He pulls him into the closet and SLAMS THE DOOR.

The ominous door stays in view. And then young Dennis bursts

out. A shadowy hand reaches in vain. Dennis runs to his bed and

covers his head. The film ends with a black screen.

NARRATOR (V.O.)

Now, wasnt that fun? But

Dennis woke up in his bed the next

morning. He thought it was a dream.

It wasnt. We let him get away.

We wanted to eat him later.

INT. BLACK ROOM - NIGHT

Lipless Lang turns off the projector. His head starts to swell.It fills like a balloon. Larger and larger. It fills

everything. And then it bursts.


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BACK TO PRESENT TIME.

INT. BEDROOM DAY

Denniss alarm goes off. He was asleep in his bed. His sketch

pad sits on his chest. He rubs his eyes and turns on the radio.

MONTAGE A NEW DAY FOR DENNIS

--Dennis gets out of bed.

--He pours himself a bowl of Count Chocula in his kitchen.

--He puts on a tie. Looks professional and clean. A new man.

--He brushes the hair of one of his monster masks.

--He combs his own hair using the same comb used on the mask.

--He wraps a bunt cake in nice packaging.

--He gets into his car, a black luxury car. He looks impressive

behind the wheel. Hes not some horror geek, but a true

professional.

--He drives to a small pond.

--He takes bits of bread and feeds the ducks. Quiet moment.

--He returns to his car and drives to work.

--He types at a computer in an office. His desk is immaculate.

Not a hint of horror movie items.

--He eats an elaborate salad at the workplace lunch table.

Women have an animated conversation at the table next to him.

INT. LUNCHROOM - DAY

DENNIS

(To the women)

I brought some cake.

(Offers it to them)

WOMAN 1

Sorry. Not today.

They couldnt be more disinterested, and go on talking as ifDennis was not in the room. Dennis takes the cake and places it

on a side table, next to a whole host of uneaten treats.

INT. OFFICE DESK - DAY

--Dennis goes over paperwork.

--He works on his computer.


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--He checks his webcast dating site. Sandra appears.

--He looks shocked. Goes to his office door and closes it.

Goes back to review the screen.

Just as he starts to hear her message, a knock sounds. Dennis

jumps and scrambles to turn off the computer. Denniss OFFICE

MANAGER enters. She is in her 50s, speaks carefully and

pleasantly, and wears a business suit.

OFFICE MANAGER

Dennis, may I see you in my

office for a moment?

DENNIS

(A bit flustered)

Sure.

INT. MANAGERS OFFICE DAY

She smiles at Dennis before delivering the news.

OFFICE MANAGER

Dennis, we love the great treats

you bring in every morning. You

do such a wonderful job, and we

appreciate your generosity.

DENNISThank you.

OFFICE MANAGER

But we need to you scale back.

DENNIS

(Confusion)

Oh.

Dennis clicks a ball point pen in his hand.

OFFICE MANAGER

What Im saying is, you bake

more than we can eat, and it

createswell, things pile up.

DENNIS

Oh.


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19

OFFICE MANAGER

Wed love you to continue to bring

in treats, but not daily. Lets

stick to special occasions.

DENNIS

I understand.

(He clicks the pen again)

OFFICE MANAGER

And one more thing. Im going to

recommend that you not place treats

on the desks of co-workers unless

they specifically request it. Please

dont take it the wrong way. We

love your treats.

DENNIS

What do you mean by taking it

the wrong way?

(Two pen clicks)

OFFICE MANAGER

Some people just arent comfortable

with treats being left on their

desk if they are unrequested. Im

sure you understand.

DENNISAm I making people uncomfortable?

(Two pen clicks)

OFFICE MANAGER

No. It just creates expectations.

A sense of obligation. Not everyone

wants sweets.

DENNIS

I can make a vegetable dip.

Is that preferable?

More pen clicks from Dennis.

OFFICE MANAGER

All treats should go in the break-,

room, not on the desks of individual

employees. Thats our policy.


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DENNIS

(Thinks. Two pen clicks)

Not a problem. Do you really have a

policy? I find that unusual.

OFFICE MANAGER

We do. And we love your treats.

DENNIS

I wont harass the office with

muffins anymore.

The manager opens her mouth to speak, but we dont hear it.

Dennis walks out.

INT. LUNCHROOM - DAY

Dennis tosses his cookies and treats into the garbage.

Two coffee drinking women look on awkwardly.

INT. MAIN OFFICE - DAY

Dennis grabs a cookie plate from a womans desk and tosses

it into the trash. Shes on the phone as he does it. Surprised

look. Dennis turns to say something, but thinks better.

INT. CAR - DAY

Dennis drives home. His pen is in hand and he clicks it with

abandon. He steps on the gas pedal. The car flies.

INT. DENNISS KITCHEN - DAY

Dennis stands in his kitchen, looking glum. He opens the

shelves and looks at his supply of baking goods.

The shelves are loaded with boxes of cake mix. Not just one ortwo, but hundreds. More cake mix than any one person could

possibly use. The boxes are neatly stacked, fitting in with the

overall neatness of the kitchen.

He pulls out one box, studies it, and throws it in the garbage.

He takes two more off the shelf and does the same. Then he

stops and closes the cabinets.

with monsters

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