wink calgary - discover your voice: talking through sensitive issues using fierce conversations
DESCRIPTION
Many of us have the habit of editing ourselves, particularly when facing tough and/or sensitive issues. We replay in our heads (over and over) what we’re going to say and how we’re going to say it, and we anticipate exactly what the right moment looks like to speak up. This is called “careful communication” in Fierce Conversations®. Further to that, we play out what the other party is going to say and how they’re going to feel and react, and for the most part this picture is quite the opposite of empowering. We are so focused on being perfect and doing it right that we get in our own way that we become thwarted in our expression and in some cases we are stopped. This is referred to as a “missing conversation” in Fierce Conversations®. Research shows that the missing conversation is the biggest threat to the health of a relationship, family, or business. Fierce Conversations® offers transformational tools that will enable you to discover your voice and talk through tough and sensitive issues.TRANSCRIPT
Discover Your Voice-- talk through tough and sensitive issues
with Fierce Conversations®
Trudy Pelletier
Fierce Conversation
“A conversation in which we come out
from behind ourselves and make
it real.”~ Susan Scott, author Fierce Conversations®
Enemies of CommunicationThinking:o I already know …o I already do this…o I’ve heard this conversation before
Forgetting the impact of the emotional climateBeing defensiveResisting:o Your own humanityo Others’ humanity
Victim Mentality Inability to admit “I don’t know”
Distrust of:o Selfo Others
BlamingBeing un-acceptingCriticizingMaking wrong:o Otherso Self
Denying the opportunityPretending not to knowBeing Unwilling
Results
Impact on message7% Words
55% Body Language
38% Tone
4 Objectives
Interrogate Reality
Provoke Learning
Tackle Tough Challenges
Enrich Relationships
~ Susan Scott, author of Fierce Conversations®
Fierce Conversation
3 Transformational Ideas
Our careers, our companies, our personal relationships, and our very lives succeed or fail, gradually then suddenly, one conversation at a time
~ Susan Scott, author of Fierce Conversations®
Conversational Environment
3 Transformational Ideas
The conversation is the relationship
3 Transformational Ideas
All conversations are with myself and sometimes they involve other people
~ Susan Scott, author of Fierce Conversations®
A Model for Personal Mastery
Results: Tangible & Intangible
Behaviors & Actions
The Person
Deliberate
Want
Take or don’t take
So I can be…
A Model for Personal Mastery
Behaviors & Actions
The Person
Deliberate
Actions
Who am I aspiring to become?
Who could I be? Results:
Tangible & Intangible
Results I Want
oAttitudes oExperiencesoOpinionsoPatternsoBeliefsoStories
Is decisive!
Is lived as true!
Appears unchangeable!
Is considered fixed!
7 PrinciplesMaster the courage to interrogate realityCome out from behind yourself, into the conversation and make it realBe here, prepared to be nowhere elseTackle your toughest challenges todayObey your instinctsTake responsibility for your emotional wakeLet silence do the heavy lifting
~ Susan Scott, author of Fierce Conversations®
Increase self-awarenessoTriggersoEnemies of communicationoContext
Clarify objectivesDeliberate way of BeingPresence objectives and principles
Summary
