win your ex back
DESCRIPTION
Explains the 5 biggest relationship killer, where they come from, and how they destroy a once loving caring relationshipTRANSCRIPT
Most relationships start out in a way that it
seems like there are fire works every time
the two people are together.
Both of you just can't get enough of each
other, you both enjoy the times you two
spend together and can't wait to do it all
over again.
There is some kind of chemistry developing
between the two of you, that just seems to
bind and fuse the two of you together.
The more you spend time with each other,
the more the sparks just seem to fly. When
you get together more and more people
tend to notice the chemistry between the
two of you.
Does this sound oh so familiar to you?
Some relationships get past that chemistry and the momentum
wanes, you both get past the “honeymoon period” and in fact both desire to spend less time
together. Many strive to get that chemistry back that first made
them feel so wonderful. Unfortunately, many times the relationship eventually ends. However don’t lose hope, you
can win your ex back if you can understand what happen to
dilute the chemistry between you two and find ways to fix it.
I have had many people come to me because their relationships
have/or was about to fail. In the 18 years that I have worked with
couples I asked each person do you want to win your ex back. Roughly 97% of them stated that they did.
So the first step I took was to explain to them that there are five big relationship killers that ruin
most love relationships. We worked to discover which ones if not all of them were having such disastrous effects on their love relationships.
The 5 biggest relationship killers
that you should be looking for and working on to win you ex back is as
follows:
Most people enter a relationship with a deep fear of rejection, and
this fear motivates various forms of controlling behavior on their part.
Controlling behavior includes many forms of attack, such as blaming, anger, rage, violence,
judgment, criticism and ridicule of the other. Controlling behavior
always results in resentment of and the emotional distancing from the person attempting to control the other because of their own fear. Sadly, this behavior brings about
the very rejection that it is meant to avoid from their lover.
Many people enter a relationship with a deep fear of losing
themselves. The moment they experience their partner wanting more of their time, they respond with resistance – which usually takes the form of withdrawal, a form of coldness to the other,
forgetfulness of things or dates important to their other, and
procrastination about decisions involving both of them. When one partner is controlling and the other
is resistant the relationship becomes immobilized.
Partners in this kind relationship system feel frustrated, stagnant, and
resentful.
Many people enter a relationship believing that it is their partner’s job to fill their
emptiness, take away their aloneness, and make them feel good about themselves. When people have not learned how to take responsibility for their own
feelings and needs, and to define their own self-worth, pull
on their partner and others to fill them with the love they
need.
Most people who feel empty inside turn to substance and
process addictions in an attempt to fill their emptiness and take
away the pain of their loneliness. They tend to use one or more of the following: alcohol and drug abuse, over-eating or spending money, gambling, and focusing
most of their time on work. All of these are used as ways to fill the emptiness and avoid the feelings of failure, inadequacy, rejection and engulfment by their lover that they secretly feel. Again
sadly, they are all ways that shut out their partner.
Many people are acutely aware of what their partner is doing that is causing relationship problems, but completely
unaware of what they are doing. For example, you might be very
aware of your partner’s resistance or withdrawal, but totally unaware of your own
judgmental behavior. You might be very aware of your partner’s anger, but completely unaware of your own compliance. You might be very aware of your partner’s addictive behavior,
but very unaware of your own enabling them to stay with that behavior. As long as your eyes are on your partner instead of
on yourself, you will continue to believe that if only your partner changed, everything would be okay.
What can you do to change this and bring that
chemistry back?
So if are the victim of one or more of these 5
relationship killers or if you have suffered from the effects of projecting them
on to your lover...Don't worry there is help and a way to win your ex back
too. Click on the following link and begin the process
to win your ex back.