"what we know about happiness, including its alternatives" senior scholars of charlotte...

"What we know about happiness, including

its alternatives"

Senior Scholars of CharlotteSenior Scholars of Charlotte

Queens Sports ComplexQueens Sports Complex

March 4, 2013March 4, 2013

Why are we here?Why are we here?

• To review our model of happiness/well-being, and

• To explore ways that we may all supplement our individual levels of happiness with a sense of well-being.

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Who are we?Who are we?

• In the world of science, we speak of three roles:– Researcher, like a university professor– Translator, like a journalist or teacher– Practitioner, like a physician or

psychologist

• Pierce is mostly Translator• Jane is mostly Practitioner

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• What is happiness?• What is your “set point”?• The alternative—Well-Being, or “In Gear”• The Five Modes of Well-Being• Myths, Boosters, and Downers

The Plan:

On living your passion…On living your passion… “To invent your own life’s meaning is not easy, but it’s still allowed, and I think you’ll be happier for the trouble.” --Bill Watterson, from his 1990 commencement speech at Kenyon College

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What is happiness?What is happiness?

• Wrote Elizabeth Barrett Browning:– How do I love thee? Let me count the

ways.

• For happiness, Pierce found:– 235 synonyms for “happiness”– 18 affinity groups, or allelonyms– Appendix A, pp. 323-325

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The 18 Faces of HappinessThe 18 Faces of Happiness• Positive Emotions• High Energy• Calmness• Competence• Health• Engagement• Cheerful Disposition• Jollity• Passion

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• Cared About• Caring About Others• Mature Relationship• Pride• Optimism• Feeling Other Worldly• Material Comfort• Titillation of the Senses• Generally Positive Mood

As a guidepost…As a guidepost…

• …we need to begin with a definition of what most researchers mean by the concept of “happiness”

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What is Happiness?What is Happiness?

• The presence of positive emotions

…AND…

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What is Happiness?What is Happiness?

• The presence of positive emotions

…AND…

• The absence of negative emotions

– Worry, Anxiety– Anger, Temper– Pessimism, Sadness– Shame, Disgust– Difficulty recovering from a crisis

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The negative emotions/The negative emotions/Need for Stability:Need for Stability:

– Warmth, Enthusiasm– Gregariousness, Sociability– Activity Level– Proneness to Take a Leadership Role– Trust– Tact

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The positive emotions/The positive emotions/Extraversion:Extraversion:

So, happiness is…So, happiness is…

• …an abundance of positive emotion, and

• …a minimum of negative emotion• 1/3 of the population falls in each

category of high, mid, and low.• Thus, 1 person in 9 (or 1/3 x 1/3) is

“born happy”– Guido, Maria, Evelyn Ryan

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• What is happiness?• What is your “set point”?

The Plan:

Your Set Point:Your Set Point:

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The 1-in-9 Happy Person

The Rest of Us! (8 of 9)

Us!

The rest of us…The rest of us…

• …have a “set point” for happiness• Is like a thermostat

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The Set Point—How It WorksThe Set Point—How It Works

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Time

Happier

Less Happy

Award

Insult

Loss

Trip

The Hedonic TreadmillThe Hedonic Treadmill

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Felt Happiness

Higher

Lower

Set Point

Level of Income HigherLower

$40,000/75,000

1st Raise

2nd Raise

3rd Raise

4th Raise

How do you get your set How do you get your set point?point?

•Genetics (c. 60%)•Choices (c. 30%)•Circumstances (c. 10%)

•In that order of influence…

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For the mathematicians…For the mathematicians…

•HSP = f(.6*G + .3*Ch + .1*Ci)

• Or, one’s happiness set point is a function of one’s genes, choices, and circumstances.

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To calculate your set point:To calculate your set point:

• Two sets of calculations:– Traits– Choices & Circumstances

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• What is happiness?• What is your “set point”?• The alternative—Well-Being, or “In Gear”

The Plan:

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• What is happiness?• What is your “set point”?• The alternative—Well-Being, or “In

Gear”

versus

A ReminderA Reminder

• Choosing to be “happier” is a high risk strategy.

• We call wanting to be happier a “false god”--a goal that invites more unhappiness.

• We prefer that sense of well-being that comes from feeling that our lives are “In Gear.”

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If we’re not one of the 1-in-If we’re not one of the 1-in-9ers, what hope do we have?9ers, what hope do we have?• For folks like us, happiness is an

occasional thing, not a 7-24-365¼ thing.

• Our level of happiness is primarily genetic and unlikely to change.

• So, to set a goal to be happier is unrealistic and doomed to failure.

• The answer for us is: Well-Being

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What is “well-being”?What is “well-being”?

• Six indicators (Keyes, 2002):– I like most parts of myself– I have warm and trusting relationships– I continue to grow and learn– I have a direction in life– I am effective in meeting my needs– I have a satisfactory degree of control

over my life

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How to achieve well-being?How to achieve well-being?• Research has identified five areas of

behavior that tend to result in a sense of well-being, regardless of…– Age– Personality– Socio-economic status– Gender– Intelligence– Well, you get the idea!

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• What is happiness?• What is your “set point”?• The alternative—Well-Being, or “In Gear”• The Five Modes of Well-Being

The Plan:

The Five Modes of Well-The Five Modes of Well-BeingBeing

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• Flow• Fit• Goals• Community• Altruism

These five modes:These five modes:• Will provide us with a sense of well-being

regardless of our strengths, weaknesses, personalities, choices, or circumstances.

• I.e., they work for everyone. (Air vs. Bach)• They are free!

– Of course, if you want to spend money on them, you can!

• You can use them for yourself, and/or use them to help those close to you realize greater well-being.

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• Flow, or being in a zone• Fit, or matching the person to the role• Goals, or making progress towards them• Community, or quality and quantity of

relationships, or social capital• Altruism, or service, the rent we pay for our

stay on planet Earth


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• Flow

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FLOW, Mihalyi FLOW, Mihalyi CzikszentmihalyiCzikszentmihalyi

Frustration

FLOW

Hi

Lo

Lo Hi

Boredom

Demands

Resources

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ENVIRONMENTAL

DEMANDS

(sports, job,

care-giving)

Frustration(lack of resources)

(demand > resources)

FLOW

Hi

Lo

Lo HiPERSONAL RESOURCES

(skill, family, staff, budget, infrastructure)

Boredom (lack of demand)

(resources > demands)

Comments on three states:Comments on three states:

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On boredom:

“Repetition is the death of magic.” --Bill WattersonOn flow:

“I’m always a bit slow to come out of the trance that I enter when I tune.” --Daniel Mason, The Piano TunerOn frustration:

“Hatred is a failure of the imagination.” --Graham Greene, The Power and the Glory

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To increase flow…To increase flow…

• If bored, either:– Increase what is demanded of you, or– Decrease what you bring to the task

• If frustrated, either:– Decrease what is demanded of you, or– Increase what you bring to the task

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Frustration

FLOW

Hi

Lo

Lo Hi

Boredom

Demands

ResourcesHandicapping, taking risks, stretch goals

Handicapping, education, safer goals

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Frustration

FLOW

Hi

Lo

Lo Hi

Boredom

Demands

Resources

Rate Yourself on Flow:Rate Yourself on Flow:

□I would like to reduce boredom in some areas

□I would like to reduce frustration in some areas

□I am experiencing about the right amount of flow in my life now.

□I would like to experience more flow but am unsure how to get there.

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• Flow• Fit

The Buddha on Fit…The Buddha on Fit…

“Ultimately only three things matter:-how much we have loved,-how gently we have lived, and-how gracefully we have let go of

things not meant for us.”

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Or, if you prefer western Or, if you prefer western religion…religion…

• Romans 12:6-7• “Since we have gifts that differ

according to the grace given to us, each of us is to exercise them accordingly: …if service, in his serving; or he who teaches, in his teaching…”

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““Fit” is based on…Fit” is based on…• A match between your…

– Traits– Abilities– Values– Physical characteristics– Memory/experience

• …and the demands from your– Job, family, community

A simple example: SalesA simple example: Sales

Demanded of you:

Characteristic of you:

Good fit?

Sociable Solitary Ambitious Ambitious Energetic Sedentary Proud Modest Repetitive work

Creative work 4444

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Howardian Person

ExamplesExamples

• Plant Manager w ulcers/bp/depression

• Physician w high blood pressure• Lawyer w misery and nausea• Minister who couldn’t say no• Architect trying to be a manager

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Rate Yourself on Fit:Rate Yourself on Fit:

□I would like to increase the use of my strong traits, values, or abilities.

□I would like to reduce the reliance on some traits, values, or abilities.

□I am experiencing about the right amount of fit in my life now.

□I would like to experience more fit but am unsure how to get there.

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• Flow• Fit• Goals

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About goals…About goals…

• It’s all about PROGRESS towards goals!

• Some challenge (remember flow!)• Implementation plan• Salami technique• Bucket list

From my bucket list…From my bucket list…

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• Camp and eat salmon at Puget Sound• Complete Globus mental abilities

assessment• Write book on Globus model• Write novel based on world of consulting• Book on mental abilities• Write Owner's Manual for Coaching• Be part of a motet/madrigal group • Have a Florida porch (fresh air, shade, no

bugs)• Cross the pond with Papa• Cross the pond with Other Mama • Cross the pond with Henry Johnson • Finish Happiness Book

Recent research:Recent research:• Longevity allows extended creative output,

OR• Extended creative output allows greater

longevity! – Busy minds live 22% longer– Older minds = easier hemisphere communication– Younger minds = more specialization left/right

• (See Time for Sept. 23, 2013: “The Art of Living”)

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Rate Yourself on Goals:Rate Yourself on Goals:

□I would like to establish one or more satisfying and challenging goals.

□I would like to make more progress on an already established goal.

□I am experiencing about the right amount of progress towards goals.

□I would like to experience more goal progress but am unsure how to get there.

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• Flow• Fit• Goals• Community

Social CapitalSocial Capital

• Robert Putnam, Bowling Alone (2000)• Material, Intellectual, and Social

Capital– Material – Intellectual – Social by 33% over last half of 20th

century

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How Social Capital is How Social Capital is Measured:Measured:

• Number of civic or social organizations per 1,000 population

• Attendance at civic, religious, nonprofit, school (e.g., PTA), political, fraternal, athletic/sports, professional, and other kinds of clubs

• Taking on positions of responsibility in such clubs

• Voting in local through national elections• Speaking out (writing letters, giving speeches)• Level of trust • Volunteer work • Informal socializing • Being married

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Why Social Capital is Why Social Capital is Important:Important:

• Immune function• Replaces drugs• Counterbalance to smoking/fat/hbp/couch

potato• Better cardiovascular function• Age slower• States w high SC have healthier residents

(let’s take a look…)

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1990 civic relig pol prof bus laborresp

n pvote pop SC IndexMecklenburg, NC 67 388 4 10 28 25 68% 46% 511481 -0.11

Hennepin, MN 241 553 16 32 80 99 75% 68%103243

1 1.74Lee, AL 14 42 0 1 3 1 53% 39% 87146 -2.05

1997 civic relig pol prof bus laborresp

n Pvote pop SC IndexMecklenburg, NC 69 495 2 15 33 18 66% 49% 613310 -0.14

Hennepin, MN 146 632 12 50 103 96 74% 67%105317

8 1.64Lee, AL 12 57 1 5 7 1 58% 49% 98501 -0.92

2005 civic relig pol prof bus laborResp

n Pvote pop SC IndexMecklenburg, NC 54 528 5 12 41 20 68% 56% 802400 -0.74

Hennepin, MN 142 691 28 43 99 84 77% 76%112493

3 0.77Lee, AL 14 70 1 2 7 4 59% 48% 125272 -1.54

civic: civic and social associations labor: Labor organizations

relig: Religious organizations Respn: Census Mail Response Ratespol: Political organizations Pvote: Vote cast for pres/total pop 18 and overprof: Professional organizations Pop: Resident populationbus: Business associations SC Index: composite index http://aese.psu.edu/nercrd ... Search for:

“Social Capital Variables Spreadsheet”

Putnam on North Carolina:Putnam on North Carolina:“For North Carolina [ranked 41 on SATs] to see educational

outcomes similar to Connecticut’s [ranked 9], according to our statistical analysis, residents of the Tar Heel State could do any of the following:

•increase their turnout in presidential elections by 50%•double their frequency of club meeting attendance•triple the number of nonprofit organizations per thousand inhabitants, or•attend church two more times per month.

These may seem like daunting challenges…[but it would

be even harder] for North Carolina to match Connecticut’s performance simply through traditional educational reforms—by decreasing class size, for example.” (p. 301)

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An update…An update…• Corp. for National Community Services

(2013)• Ten years after Putnam’s findings:

– 26.5% of adults volunteer– 5.5% increase, mostly GenXers

• 26% fundraising or selling• 24% handling food• 20% general labor or transportation• 18% tutoring or teaching

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Update (cont.)Update (cont.)• Organizations engaged in:

– 21% in religious– 16% in school or neighborhood– 11% in sports or recreation– 8% in service or civic– 6% other– That’s about 38% who are uninvolved in

any kind of organization– Also, only 11% serve as officer or

committee member

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Update (cont.)Update (cont.)

• Alaska ranks highest in involvement with an organization at 55%

• Louisiana lowest at 31 %, and only 6% serving as officer or committee member

• Utah highest in leadership with 21% serving as officer or committee member

• Midwest is highest region with 41%(13%)

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Update for North Carolina…Update for North Carolina…

• 26% volunteer (ranking 33d)– Urban higher, rural lower

• 51% donate to charity• 10% participate in public meetings• Voting increased by 44% from 48%

to 69%

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Why Social Capital is Important Why Social Capital is Important (cont.):(cont.):

• Group membership has equal effect as: = stop smoking = lose weight = exercise regularly

• Marriage = 4 x annual income• Those isolated are 2-5 x more likely to die from all

causes

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What caused the decrease in What caused the decrease in social capitol?social capitol?

• Generational Change (50%)—VN, Race, Women, Loss of Faith in Govt, institutions not keeping up (Scouts, Rotary, NAACP)

• Changes in Work Patterns (10%)—especially two-worker families

• Urban Sprawl (10%)—esp. commutes• Popularity of Technology (c. 30%)

Rate Yourself on Rate Yourself on Community:Community:

□I would like to cut back on relationship obligations—I feel overextended.

□I would like to increase the quality or quantity of my relationships.

□I am experiencing about the right quantity and quality of relationships in my life now.

□I would like to experience more community am unsure how to get there.

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• Flow• Fit• Goals• Community• Altruism

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Examples of Altruism…Examples of Altruism…• Gratitude journal• Acts of kindness• Gratitude visits• Forgiveness notes

– REACH technique: recall hurt, empathize, accept, communicate, and hold on to the forgiveness

• Time with family & friends (their interests)• Nightly list: “things for which I’m grateful”

33 Kinds of Altruism33 Kinds of Altruism– Apologies– Crediting– Itemized Response for Constructive

Feedback– Managing Conflict– On-the-spot Recognition– Thank You’s– Compassion– Nonverbal Positive Energy

(mirroring)– Optimism– Prayer– Smiling and Casual Touching– Visualization– Zaniness – Chattiness– Friendship– Gratefulness

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– Love—Agape– Love—Eros– Love—Philia– Love—Storge– Respect for the Environment– Charity– Donations– Generativity– Gifts– Pro Bono– Connecting People– Good Samaritan– Neighborliness– Service– Random Acts of Kindness– Respite Care– Volunteering

33 Kinds of Altruism33 Kinds of Altruism

• Explained both in my book and on my blog

• “Pierce Howard’s Blog”• http://piercehoward.wordpress.com• Or, just Google “33 kinds of altruism”

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Rate Yourself on Altruism:Rate Yourself on Altruism:□I would like to reduce my altruistic

activity—I’m overextended and need to focus more on myself.

□I would like to increase my altruistic activity.

□I am experiencing about the right amount of altruistic activity in my life now.

□I would like to be more altruistic, but am unsure how to get there.

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Thank You!Thank You!

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• What is happiness?• What is your “set point”?• The alternative—Well-Being, or “In Gear”• The Five Modes of Well-Being• Myths, Boosters, and Downers

The Plan:

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Myths: Myths:

Strategies thought to Strategies thought to determine happiness that determine happiness that

don’t, don’t, at least not for long. at least not for long.

Note:Note: Some have different Some have different effects based on individual effects based on individual

differences.differences.

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– Making more money– Acquiring more material possessions– Pursuing improved physical health with surgery,

drugs, doctor visits, and so forth, as opposed to subjectively feeling healthy

– Attempting to increase one’s perceived beauty (through surgery, fashion, and so forth)

– Increasing the amount of one’s education– Changing one’s race– Moving to a different climate

More Myths… More Myths…

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• Crippling accidents• Eating out• Kids• Winning the lottery• Movies• Positive thinking• Spectator of whatsoever• Television watching• Vacation home• Insight/Wisdom• Variety

BoostersBoosters

• Two kinds of boosters:– Circumstances in which we find

ourselves, such as being born in a particular place

– Choices we have made

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Boosters by CircumstanceBoosters by Circumstance

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Aging (approaching seniority)

Beauty Democracy Employment Environmental

conditions Feeling safe Financial freedom Government efficiency Government

responsiveness Government

trustworthiness

Law-abiding/Law enforcement

Minimal corruption/violence

Personal freedom Retirement Status increase Temperate climate Tolerance of

minorities Trust Trust in management Trust in public officials

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Alcohol moderation Anticipating purchases Anticipation of good stuff Attendance of club or other

group meetings Being busy Being Republican Buying for the thing itself Charitable acts Child care College/undergrad degree Conversation Eating Exercising Experiences Extrinsic rewards for

algorithmic tasks Gardening Generativity Gratitude Health (perceived) Intrinsic motives Marriage Meals with family/friends

Meditating/praying Music listening Optimism Pets Playing with children Political involvement Pro-market attitude Reading Recreational sports Relationships Religion/Faith Self-employment Sex Shopping Socializing Spending for experiences Spending on equipment for

experiences Spending on others Taking a walk Touch Transcranial magnetic

stimulation Volunteering

Boosters by Choice

DownersDowners

• Two kinds of boosters:– Circumstances in which we find

ourselves, such as being born in a malevolent dictatorship

– Choices we have made

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Downers by CircumstanceDowners by Circumstance

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Aging (approaching middle age)

Anticipation of bad stuff

Being Female Betrayal of trust Chronic Pain Disaster Divorce/Separation Extrinsic rewards

for non-algorithmic tasks

Hormone fluctuation

Job loss Lack of control Loss of a loved one Mental illness Neurotoxins Noise Poverty Sleep disorders Stressors Working

Downers by Choice…Downers by Choice…

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Alcohol abstinence

Alcohol excess Commuting Deep thinking Envy Holding onto

lost goals

Graduate educational level

Isolation Mind-

wandering Personal

grooming

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Some recent researchSome recent research These mental attitudes are associated with a higher

sense of well-being:o I want what I haveo I have what I want

These mental attitudes add nothing to one’s sense of well-being:o I want something that I don’t haveo I have something that I don’t want

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o I want what I have, e.g.: I have a temperament that is uncomfortable

around crowds and noises, and I have no desire to be any different—I don’t want to learn to enjoy noisy crowds (i.e., I like/want my quiet).

I have a lower-priced sedan that is safe and durable, and that is fine—I don’t dream about a more expensive car with more features.

I have a 3’ x 6’ N-scale model railroad to enjoy with my grandchildren (and any other children of all ages), and I have no need or desire for a larger layout.

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o I have what I want, e.g.: I wanted both children and grandchildren, and I

have them. I wanted a collection of early musical instruments,

and I have them. I wanted a laptop computer that would enable me

to work anywhere, and I have it.

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o I want something that I don’t have, e.g.: I want a resort cabin in the mountains. I want to have less of a temper, i.e., to have a

slower trigger. I want a child or grandchild with whom I can

play duets.

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o I have something that I don’t want, e.g.: I have a lovely spiral staircase when I(we) should

have no stairs at all (knees, back). I have a front yard and back yard that are more

of a burden than a pleasure or source of pride. I have a balalaika (3-stringed Russian musical

instrument) that I have never learned to play nor have I maintained it properly (cleaning, and so forth).

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Your Plan…Your Plan…• Which mode(s) are most important to me?

– Flow, Fit, Progress towards Goals, Community, Altruism

• Which modes do I want to increase?• Which modes can I decrease to make time for

another?• How will I increase the one, or decrease the other?• What do I need to get started?• When will I follow up with my partner?• With whom will I share my plan?• How can I create synergy in my planning?

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Examples of synergy…Examples of synergy…• Volunteer for homeless shelter + learn

to bake bread = bake bread for homeless shelter

• More piano practice + more writing = put keyboard by computer and practice while stuck/gestating/waiting for computer to get somewhere

• Get more exercise + read more magazines = Walk with WNYC Radiolab on headset

Thank You!Thank You!

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"what we know about happiness, including its alternatives" senior scholars of charlotte...

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