what to do when tragedy enters your lifecatalogimages.wiley.com/images/db/pdf/k0471236853.01.pdf ·...

p a r t o n e

What to Do When TragedyEnters Your Life

Since wars begin in the minds of men, it is in the mindsof men that we have to erect the ramparts of peace.

—UNESCO Charter

Lead me from hate to loveFrom war to peace

Let peace fill our heartOur world

Our universe.

—THE UPANISHADS, adapted by Satish Kumar

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c h a p t e r 1

The Key to MaintainingPeace of Mind

Hope is a state of mind, not of the world.

—Vaclav Havel

It would be naive to think that the problems plaguing mankindtoday can be solved with means and methods which were appliedor seemed to work in the past.

—Mikhail Gorbachev

BAD THINGS HAPPEN, and to good people. Some of us seem to attractmore than our share of tragedy, and often without obvious reason.Seldom do we know when tragedy will come, and no amount ofpreparation can make the world a crisis-free place. The key tomaintaining peace of mind in such an unpredictable world issearching for purpose and opportunities to grow no matter what


life brings us. We should not look to the tragedy itself for purpose,but rather to our response to the disaster. It is here that we havechoices and can discover a purpose that makes us better individu-als and brings us closer to one another.

I want happiness for all beings, and don’t wish tragedy onanyone. Nevertheless, I wouldn’t prescribe a completely pain-freelife for someone I love. We certainly need to work toward a worldthat is free from devastation and avoidable suffering, from thepain of poverty, hunger, and senseless violence. However, Iwouldn’t opt for a world where pain, grief, and loss didn’t exist. Iam always deeply saddened when someone close to me passes on,but I also realize that pain and loss are a part of every life, and thatthere is no escaping our mortality. The human experience is notpain-free because through our anguish, no matter how great it is,we can learn to be more compassionate and aware, to becomehealthier as individuals and as a society.

I write these words from having had the personal experience ofa challenging life and of being a psychologist. There have beentimes when I have thought that my life has been filled with morehardship than the average person’s. Yet as I reflect on my life Ibecome grateful for what each challenge has taught me.

I believe there is more depth to my spiritual life and my happiness because of the obstacles I have faced. Each decade hasseemed to bring a new challenge. As a young boy I had a pro-nounced speech impediment and was teased a great deal.Throughout my adolescence I had a serious spinal disease and asa result spent many months of each year in a body cast, in traction,in a hospital bed or bedridden at home. Complicating this experi-ence was my increasing emotional pain and isolation, which waslargely unrecognized by others.

By my late adolescence and throughout my early adulthood Iwas heavily addicted to a variety of drugs. In my thirties I devel-oped an autoimmune disease that resulted in the loss of most of

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my hearing. In my forties I faced potentially life-threateningprostate problems and underwent surgery. Like many others, Ihave also had the challenges that come from relationships, includ-ing divorce, being raised in an alcoholic home, and dealing withthe inevitable loss that comes from the death of people we love.

Although there is certainly a part of me that would like to nothave such challenges, from each one I learned and grew spiritu-ally. In this book I will share this process of healing with you. Fornow it suffices for you to know that I write this book from bothhaving been in the trenches of tragic times and having helped oth-ers rise out of them. I know that healing is possible because of thelife I have lived and from those I have had the honor of helpingheal from their own personal pains.

Develop a Compassionate Response to Suffering

When I was quite young, I began to notice an uncomfortable feel-ing that I couldn’t quite identify. Over time I realized that thegnawing uneasiness was the suffering I saw and felt in the world.In adulthood I became a psychologist, and I also got involved inpolitical change, but I couldn’t shake the sense that something wasterribly amiss.

Sometime in the mid-1980s it dawned on me that the nucleararms race was not the core problem. The arms race, or for that mat-ter the production of any weapon, is a result of our thoughts andattitudes. This realization led me to explore more deeply the over-lap and integration of inner, interpersonal, and internationalpeace. I seemed to be on the right track, because that gnawing feel-ing began to subside.

Over the years, I have worked with many people who havesuffered great tragedy in their lives. I have seen that their

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responses hold within them the direction their lives will go.Nobody is the same after a tragedy, but whether we grow in loveand compassion or shrink in fear and anger depends on the choiceswe make next. These choices are often the toughest of our lives andrequire great courage: It is usually easier to sink into the darkwaters of pain and fear than to rise above them and redirect ourlives in a positive direction. Most tragedy involves loss; the chal-lenge is to decide if you want that loss to make you better or bitter.Your decision, not the situation, is what will create the outcome.

A friend recently told me that her brother, who was in his latesixties, had lost five of his seven children during the last thirtyyears. I commented on the immensity of the tragedy and how dif-ficult it must have been for him to just go on. I can’t imagine thepain in losing one child, let alone five. She responded, “My brotherhas had a very tragic life, he just doesn’t know it.”

She went on to tell me that her brother had found reasons tolive life with an attitude of love and generosity rather than paral-ysis and depression. Through prayer and spiritual discipline, hebecame a caring and cheerful person, using his tremendous loss tohelp develop his inner strength. Let’s look a little closer at the roleof meditation and prayer in dealing with tragedy.

Shantideva, the Indian saint, once said that when we are in themidst of our most difficult challenges, it is imperative that wedon’t become paralyzed by the gravity of the situation and thepain of our emotions. I interpret this to mean that if we succumb toour grief, anger, and despair, we will never overcome the chal-lenge and tragedy before us. Our common sense tells us that whenwe look carefully at a painful situation, we will either discover thatthere is something we can do to help lessen the suffering—inwhich case there is no need for anxiety, just action—or that nothingwe do will solve the problem, in which case there is no reason tokeep worrying about it.

Although this approach may at first glance seem overly sim-


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plistic, it holds within it one extremely important point that we arewell-served to remind ourselves of on a daily basis: If there is noth-ing you can do about a situation, worry will only make thingsworse than they are. If there is something you can do about a situ-ation, procrastination will make things worse as well.

These two statements can serve as a foundation for trainingour minds on how to respond to tragedy. You may find it helpfulto write them down on a three-by-five card and place it where youwill see it often throughout your day. This will help you react tocurrent challenges in your daily life with greater peace of mind,which in turn will prepare you to deal positively with the largertragedies that may also occur in the future.

Put in the simplest of terms, prayer, contemplation, and medi-tation are the means by which we transform our emotion-filledresponse to tragedy into compassionate action, accelerating thehealing that needs to happen.

Please don’t mistake my words as saying that all tragedy is apositive thing. What I’m suggesting is that it is possible to gothrough life believing that all situations—both good and bad—holdwithin them opportunities to become more compassionate and lov-ing people. I find that the following exercise is helpful in trainingour minds to overcome the idea that tragedy must lead only to con-tinued suffering. For those of you who are suffering through atragedy right now, this process can be repeated throughout the dayto help you direct your thoughts toward greater peace of mind.

E X E R C I S E

Develop a Compassionate Response to All Situations

Before rising from bed, remain sitting or lying down withyour eyes closed. While breathing slowly and deeply, imagine


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all the different experiences that various people around theglobe will be having this day. Imagine the joys and sorrowsthat will fill the world. Some people will experience happinessat the birth of a child, while others will suffer the loss of aloved one. Some may will receive welcome news about some-thing in their lives, while others may have no food.

As you imagine all the experiences of humanity aroundthe globe, focus on two things: First, allow yourself to feelcompassion for each and every individual. Don’t differentiatebetween experiences that lead to joy and those that lead tosuffering. Instead, focus on the heart of humanity and simplyextend love to all. You might say to yourself, “Whatever youmay experience today, whatever your actions may be, mayyour heart be touched in some way that allows the awarenessof the love of God to enter.” As you do this, feel your ownheart being touched and filled with a gentle love.

Now turn your full attention toward your own life.Though you may be accustomed to praying for good things tohappen, today do something a little different and say,“Whatever may occur in my personal life this day, whatever Imay witness in the world, may I bring more love, kindness,patience, and tolerance to each moment. When I go to sleeptonight, may I feel more loving than when I awoke. If I amtempted to suffer, may I have the strength to ask what I mightdo to bring a little more compassion to those whose paths Icross today.”

This exercise recognizes that we cannot change a situation onceit happens, but we can shape our response to it and determine ourfuture. In short, tragedy can open our hearts and lead to a pur-poseful life, or it can shut them down and lead us to an angry and


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fearful existence. By taking the time to direct our thoughts wiselyand compassionately, we are choosing a healthier and more lovingfuture.

Recognize the Difference between Avoidable and Unavoidable Suffering

Peace of mind is achievable even in the midst of tragedy if ourthoughts and actions turn to compassion and genuine concern forothers. Such positive action is how we can overcome even the mostdifficult and painful circumstances. One obstacle to such a processis the natural tendency of the mind to fear or deny the existence oftragedy, which leads us to the nature of suffering.

Most spiritual traditions in some way address suffering andempathy. Though I am not a Buddhist scholar, I have found theBuddhist perspective to be the clearest on this matter. It views suf-fering and emotional pain as natural and unavoidable aspects ofhuman life. (And suffering, as mentioned earlier, can unite us andhelp us to develop empathy.) Some forms of tragedy and suffer-ing—disease, poverty, crime, violence, illiteracy, and war—are, atleast in theory, avoidable while accidents, old age, death, and nat-ural disasters are unavoidable. Let’s take a closer look at theunavoidable, as these will provide clues for how to deal with theavoidable.

It makes sense if you live in an area prone to such things as tor-nadoes that you do some preparation and training. Yet unavoid-able crises like a tornado often come unexpectedly, and no amountof preparation can keep us completely safe. Typically, after atragedy that rocks our lives, our anxiety around this uncertaintyescalates, sometimes transforming into an overwhelming insecu-rity. I have seen this reaction in people countless times—their liveswere normal and then out of the blue their world changed for the


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worse. A pessimistic attitude can be the result, both personallyand, with larger tragedies, globally. The key to overcoming this isnot to see ourselves as powerless, even in the face of unavoidablecalamity. Otherwise, we might as well find a quick way out ofsuch a ruthless and painful existence.

It is helpful here to differentiate between powerlessness andempowerment. To feel powerless is a common human experiencebecause there are some things we obviously have no control over.However, even in situations where we feel such impotence, we canstill empower ourselves to take positive action and choose a positivedirection.

The truth is that following a tragedy, the future can be greatlyinfluenced by our thoughts and actions. Buddhism calls this karma,the Sanskrit word for action. Such action should not be mistakenas some external force that somehow predestines our lives; rather,we create our own destinies with our thoughts, actions, wishes,and desires. The negative actions of others shouldn’t be the ulti-mate arbiter of our karmas. It is our own response to tragedy thatis really in charge of creating good or bad karma for ourselves.

Because our minds and cultural beliefs lead us to habituallyreact in certain ways to a crisis, throughout this book it bears repeat-ing that while some trauma in our lives is unavoidable and suffer-ing is inevitable, each and every one of us has a choice in how werespond to the suffering. If we choose to obsess and worry aboutpast and future misfortune, we’ll most certainly create a life filledwith discomfort, anxiety, fear, and frustration. If this way of think-ing goes unchecked, it snowballs and we become plagued with neg-ative thoughts and emotions. Eventually there is no room for ournatural state of peaceful mind. If, on the other hand, we turn ourminds in a different direction, we create the space for peace toemerge. It is not unlike tending a garden, where we diligently pullthe weeds we don’t want and water the plants we wish to grow.

Some of the most profound examples of how our responses to


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tragedy and suffering affect our health come from the medicalresearch of Kenneth Pelletier, Ph.D., and David Spielberg, M.D., ofStanford University. In various studies they have demonstratedrepeatedly that two people can suffer from the same disease andhave very different experiences and recovery rates stemming onlyfrom their outlooks. For example, Dr. Spielberg found that womendiagnosed with breast cancer had remarkably different experi-ences and outcomes based on whether they were involved in asupport group. In fact, a large volume of investigation accumu-lated by many researchers strongly suggests that those whodevelop inner peace and strength have a noticeably different out-come from those who react to their illness with only fear, anxiety,anger, and bitterness.

These medical findings are directly applicable to all tragedy.While two individuals may have suffered from the same event,there can be a tremendous difference in the experience that followsbased solely on the attitudes they hold and how they direct theirminds. Remember, our outlooks and attitudes aren’t geneticallypreprogrammed, unchangeable facts; they are fluid and change-able by our directions and choices. Succinctly put, how much wesuffer is up to us.

Many of us have seen photos taken from such a close distance andfeaturing such fine detail that we cannot really decipher what theimage actually is. Similarly, the following exercise addresses ourtendency to get so overfocused on the morbid details of a tragicevent that it’s hard to see any option other than to react with neg-ative emotions. From such a close distance, we cannot see the ori-gins of or possible solutions to what we are faced with. Ideveloped this exercise after reading and then contemplating therather bold assertion from the Dalai Lama that “it is very rare, ifnot impossible, to find a situation which is negative, no matterhow we look at it.”


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E X E R C I S E

Develop the Motivation for HealingWhen tragedy comes your way, allow for your initial andnatural reactions of anger, sadness, and shock. However,don’t dwell upon them too long, for they can turn into con-tinuous waves of negative emotions. At some point, forceyourself to step back from the situation (force, because youremotions may be very powerful in keeping you in theirgrasp) and contemplate a few of the statements and questionsbelow. This may be very difficult, because our grief and shockcan be extremely powerful, but it is necessary for healing tooccur.

To help motivate yourself, imagine that you are ill andyour physician suggests a difficult surgery that neverthelesshas a tremendous likelihood of success; you would probablyopt for it, even though you knew it would increase your suf-fering before you got better. Similarly, bringing yourself tocontemplate rational questions and thoughts during a difficulttime isn’t easy, but it will serve you better than allowing neg-ative emotions free reign.

And so, for ten to twenty minutes per session, over aperiod of at least one week, sit comfortably and read the fol-lowing items a few times each. Then contemplate each onewith your eyes closed.

1. Have similar or worse situations occurred to other people,both in this life and throughout history? Have others gonethrough something like this and not only survived butgrown from the experience? What would these people tellyou? (Depending on the situation, you may want to actu-ally talk to some of these people, or join a support group.)


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Moving the focus of your thinking from yourself to otherswill automatically bring you more peace.

2. Will feeling helpless and angry solve anything, or will itonly perpetuate your suffering?

3. Those whom we see as having spiritual wisdom andpeace would likely tell us that their greatest knowledgeand strength came during their most profoundly difficulttimes. None of them will tell us that the road they’ve takenhas been smooth. Similarly, if we look to those who havegiven up on life after a tragedy and contributed nothing,they will tell us how helpless and hopeless it all is. Whichwill you choose to become your truth and your future?

4. The experience of suffering can help us to realize what istruly important in this life. We can then redirect ourselvestoward achieving those things, even though our loss fromtragedy may seem insurmountable.

5. If you are suffering from the loss of someone close to you,what would that person tell you to do with your suffer-ing?

6. Even though we would do anything to reverse time andchange almost any devastating event, let us also recognizethat confidence, purpose, self-assurance, and empathy cangrow as a result of our experience. Our greatest task in thedays, weeks, months, and years following a tragedy is toovercome the downward cycle of negative emotion andtransform our suffering through positive action.

7. Some people lose hope at even the smallest of challenges,while others become greater human beings in the face oftremendous loss. Know that both are possible for you, andthen choose your direction.


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Know Where to Look for Answers to Crises

Although I have grown from the challenges of my life, I have notalways done so at breakneck speed. This is because I often lookedto the wrong place for answers. This is probably most evident inthe years prior to my recovery from addiction, when I foundmyself blaming the world for most of my problems and pain. Iplayed the “If. . . then” game: “If this situation would only change,then I could be happy.” “If people would only behave like I thinkthey should, then I could feel safe and loved.” These endless if . . .thens caused me to never experience the answers that were avail-able to me in the quiet of my heart and the gentle voice of prayer.It was difficult for me to stop playing the if . . . then game, but as I began to quiet the chatter of “if only this were different then Icould be happy,” I began to have a larger spiritual awareness. I remember one day many years ago when my life was in completedisarray: I was ill, addicted, alone, broke, unemployed, and suf-fering the loss of a relationship. Rather than continuing in thedownward cycle that I had created, from somewhere within me aquestion came forth, one that has served me well ever since: “Howwould my awareness of myself and the world change this instantif I simply put all of my energy into loving action rather thanblame and self-pity?”

When death, illness, attack, or loss of any kind occurs, it is within ourselves that we are most afraid to look for answers. Itis time for each of us to examine, piece by piece, our ownthoughts and attitudes, especially those aspects that we wouldrather keep in the shadows. I believe that the major task of the first decade of this new millennium is precisely this self-evaluation. Let us not wait in fear for inevitable tragedy, or hide


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in denial that we live in an unpredictable world where painfulthings happen.

Despite what most of us would like to believe, blame and retal-iation will never fully solve any predicament. This is true in bothglobal and personal relations. Any genuine healing must includean element of self-examination and, especially in the current worldsituation, deep reflection. It would be ludicrous to say that we areeach directly responsible for illness, death, or horrible attacks oninnocent people, be it from across the world or across the street.But it would be equally inaccurate to suggest that we don’t eachhave a part to play in the solution, however small it may seem.Tragedy will never disappear, but our reaction to it can certainlybecome more spiritually based and peaceful.

A defensive or attacking posture is a natural response whenthere appears to be a perpetrator you can point to. Whatever ourresponse to conflict or crisis, be it national or personal, we need toask, “Will this reaction/action make a significant difference in theunderlying cause?” I believe that most responses to tragedy do lit-tle more than continue or escalate feelings of isolation and loss andcause us to miss opportunities for growth. There is a better way,and it begins by turning within and toward God when tragedyoccurs.

I’m certainly not arguing against the need to prevent the horrorof violent acts, but I am stating that a reaction that emphasizescounterattack and retaliation will be inadequate, and may in thefinal analysis be like trying to extinguish a fire with gasoline.Something more is needed.

This “something more” is illustrated in a story written by AzimKhamisa, a Muslim man living in the United States, who someyears ago suffered one of the worst tragedies, the loss of a child.His story illustrates some of the universal principles shared amongall spiritual practices.


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A Father’s StoryWhen my son, Tariq, was twenty—a bright, warmhearted artstudent—he was earning his spending money at a pizza placein our beautiful hometown of San Diego. An order came injust before closing, and Tariq jumped into his Volkswagen tomake the delivery. But a gang was waiting for him, and theyhad no intention of paying for their late-night snack. The gangleader handed a gun to a fourteen-year-old boy and told himto get the pizzas. Tariq, with all the invincibility of youth, gotback into his car—with the pizzas—and the boy killed him.

The next day the rage came, but it was not aimed at Tariq’skiller. It was aimed at the hideous absurdity of children tooyoung to drive having access to handguns. It was aimed at thebreakdown of a community that put a young boy on a darkstreet, leading him to become a killer to prove himself to agang.

How could this happen here, in the country to which I hadfled for refuge from violence?

My spiritual teachers reminded me that the quality of therest of my life depended totally on my reaction to Tariq’s mur-der, and for a life to have quality, it must have purpose.

My faith had given me a cause, a reason for living. I wouldturn my grief into the good deed of stopping other childrenfrom killing each other. I would turn my rage into bringinggreater peace to this country I so love. I would help Tariq’ssoul on its journey. And I would help my country protect all itschildren. I would become the foe, not of my son’s killer, but ofthe forces that put a boy on a dark street, holding a handgun.

I decided to start the Tariq Khamisa Foundation as theframework for the work I would do in my son’s name—end-


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ing youth violence. The grandfather of the boy who killed myson joined me.

Muslims do a form of charity called sadaq. They give oftheir time and of their incomes, as one of the pillars of thefaith. I had volunteered and contributed, mostly to causes thatbenefited people in other countries. Now I would focus on acause in my own country, starting in my own city of SanDiego. My personal energy began to return to me as I talkedwith people in the community about taking part in this enor-mous task.

There’s another kid for whom things are getting better: theboy who murdered my son. He’s been moved to CalipatriaPrison, a far less dangerous place than Folsom, where he washeld alone in a cell for his own protection. It took me a while,but I now go with his grandfather to visit the boy. When hewas first arrested, the boy had no remorse, no understandingof what he had done. But by the time of his trial, he did under-stand, and took responsibility. He’s no longer the tough-talk-ing, unfeeling kid being macho for his gang. Now he talks tous about his regrets, his fears, his hopes.

For years people have asked me how I could take thecourse of forgiveness and peacemaking, rather than theexpected rage and revenge. Since September 11, non-Muslimsare even more curious about the teachings of my faith. Afterall, our news is full of militant Islam, of Muslim terroristskilling innocents and quoting the Koran as their guide. Buttrue Muslims recognize the course I have taken.

I think you recognize the teachings that guided me—all faiths teach forgiveness, compassion, and taking care of each other. All faiths admonish us not to kill. Islam speaks respectfully of the people of the book, all those whofollow the teachings of Muhammad and the prophets whopreceded him in bringing God’s message to the world. The


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Qur’an tells us that all the people of the book worship thesame God.

Our prophet, our messenger, brought us the teaching thatall human beings were formed into nations and tribes “so thatwe may know one another, not to conquer, subjugate, revile orslaughter, but to reach out toward others with intelligenceand understanding.”

The Qur’an tells us that whoever kills one innocenthuman being, “it shall be as if he has killed all humankind,and whosoever saves the life of one, it shall be as if he hassaved the life of all humankind.”

The Qur’an tells us that Islam cannot be spread by thesword, that the faith cannot be forced on others.

Now, I do not like everything about the times we live in. Iimagine that each of us has our concerns about aspects of theworld around us. So we work to change those things—we stickour necks out to make our world a better place. I choose to dothat as an American and as a Muslim, making my stand inthis, the twenty-first century. For whatever it is worth to youand to our country, as we deal with our mourning and ouroutrage, I offer my own experience of grief transformed intocompassionate action. There are difficult days ahead of us.There is a threat to be stopped and a world to be healed.

Every faith, every moral teacher, has taught us the samebasic truths. It will take all our courage to act on those truths,but there is no surer way to real victory. And what will victorylook like? My vision has been a world in which our childrendo not kill each other. Now, for all of us, the vision must be aworld in which we indeed reach out to each other with intel-ligence and understanding, ending the suffering that breedsviolence, and creating a world at peace.

Let me leave you with a poem written by a seventh-graderin our antiviolence program. He calls it “A Poem to Tariq.”


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Once I had a dream about angels andgood spirits flying around me.

Everyone was so happy.There was no killing, no violence,

no drugs, no alcohol.We were all on this big round

blue ball in the middle of apitch black room with sparkly stars.

There was something familiarabout this place.

I remember now. It was a better earth.

I share that boy’s dream of a better earth. I think all of uswant to live in a peaceful, compassionate world. It is possible.

Like Azim’s inspiring journey toward compassionate action, thesteps this book puts forth won’t be easy to follow. It would bemuch more convenient, as well as popular, to simply assume thatthe cause of any tragedy or challenge lies outside ourselves, ourhomes, and our country. Then we could just concern ourselveswith “fixing” whatever that problem is, be it disease, terrorism,and so on. When it came to events where we felt personally ornationally attacked, we could focus on revenge, removing theproblem through well-planned acts of retaliation. The next time ithappened we could apply the same tactics, perhaps against anenemy with a new face.

However, I believe that every one of us who has experienced asignificant crisis wonders, at least for a passing moment, if theremight be a way of coexisting in this world that doesn’t includefighting fire with fire or responding to crisis with defeat. LikeAzim, many people I have worked with found over time that


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tragedy helped them to steer their lives in a more positive direc-tion. In the very moment they thought their life was over, theybegan to live more fully. Some were faced with death, many withthe loss of loved ones, while others suffered tremendous personalviolence. When they thought they couldn’t go on, they foundstrength they never knew existed.

Recognize the Depthof the Wound

How deep are the wounds inflicted by a significant tragedy andhow long will they last? Much deeper and much longer than mostof us realize. For example, polls following military attacks usuallyshow that the majority of people want retaliation, even if it meanskilling innocent women and children. I believe that such a responsecomes from a deep collective horror igniting a part of us that isblinded by pain and anger. It suggests, understandably, that we areswayed by our intense emotions when any tragedy occurs. Suchirrational responses, which we think make sense at the time, alsostem from the fact that we often don’t know any other way to react.

Don’t make the mistake of thinking that there are only threeresponses to a tragedy: fighting it, denying it, or suffering foreverfrom it. There is plenty more you can do—and the eight steps inPart Two will show you how. Also, don’t make the mistake of leav-ing your peace and safety in the hands of politicians, doctors, orother professionals, not because they are flawed but because forpeace and healing to occur, we all must become active participantsin changing our own thinking. There are two things we cannotafford to do when responding to crises: sit back and be afraid, orbecome critical while offering nothing in the way of healing. Webegin the healing with ourselves, as reflected in the words of SaintFrancis of Assisi:


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Lord, let me be an instrumentof thy Peace,

where there is hatred,let me sow love,

where there is injury, pardon

where there is doubt,faith

where there is despair,hope

where there is darkness,light

and where there is sadness,joy.

Change Your Thoughtsto Change Your Life

Albert Einstein once said, “The unleashed power of the atom haschanged everything save our modes of thinking, and we thus drifttoward unparalleled catastrophe.” Einstein was clearly saying thatwithout a significant change in humanity’s way of thinking, we arecertain to bring an unprecedented disaster upon ourselves. A moreencouraging way to present his message is to say, “By recognizinghumanity’s interconnectedness, we are certain to bring anunprecedented healing upon ourselves.” Either way, I believe thatEinstein’s wisdom is equally applicable to both our personal livesand our global situation.

Though all tragic events are heartbreaking, perhaps the mostdifficult is loss that comes from violence. Every year in NorthAmerica, more people die by the hand of violence than they do


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from natural disasters and some diseases combined. No one isimmune. The current state of violence around the world hasbecome an undeniable reality. So why is it that nations and indi-viduals have yet to embrace the truth in Einstein’s words? How isit that we distance ourselves from the reality that thousands ofpeople die on this planet each year in war and random violence?Why is it that at the height of war our leaders typically have all-time-high approval ratings? Why does the media sanitize death asit comes into our living rooms via the evening news? Why doesHollywood glorify violence, and why do we wait in line and paygood money to see it? And, most important, what is at the core ofconflict, war, and violence?

Though I don’t claim to have the final answers to these ques-tions, I believe it is imperative that each of us asks them. In ouranswers will be our guide to a positive future.


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